I Want To Complete That Sudoku Book On My Shelf And That Spider Solitare Storyline For Halloween On My

i want to complete that sudoku book on my shelf and that spider solitare storyline for halloween on my phone. i want to start learning about fractals and probability mathematics and the chaos theory.

i want to learn how to play chess and play it well, i want to pull my piano out and feel that tune i’ve had on loop, i want libraries and late night reading, i want to make silly anagrams that are so outrageously specific and dramatic and stupid, i want chai latte, i want rum and crime novels, i want to learn and consume and never be bored again a day in this life.

"Imagination, of course, can open any door—turn the key and let terror walk right in."

In Cold Blood (p. 88) by Truman Capote

sitting in my room with all the adrenaline of a prey animal being actively stalked

maybe one day her bones stacked in the corner will feel the warmth of a soul alight. maybe one day she’ll finally breathe without cracked collarbones. maybe one day she’ll know the little death and stop visiting her grave. maybe then she’ll have a home that echos of giggles and glows with morning light. maybe then church won’t be so far.

home is the first grave // until i gather the strenth to drag my bones out the front door my soul will haunt these shadowed halls. the kitchen echos of angrily washed dishes and silent mornings, the living room reverberates arguments past and loud screams. the room is filled with quiet sobs and repeated whispers, just once more then you’ll be done, just hold on once more. but it’s once more in the same way that soon will never be here and then is never now.

it’s such an odd thing but like, when you’ve never really had friends, and then you do find yourself with an amazing bunch… you’ve gotta learn how to friend properly. idk i guess i’m grateful i have people in my life, now i get to learn new ways of being human yk?

acd sherlock and john were chaotic good and i love them very dearly.