I GASPED. I SCRUMPT. IM DRY HEAVING. IMG HVHEHEHDZRoaejfo

I GASPED. I SCRUMPT. IM DRY HEAVING. IMG HVHEHEHDZRoaejfo

KA ILI WHATBRHE FUCK !!,! This made me drop my tablet holt fuck. I started hyperventilating and now I feel dizzy 😭😭😭😭😭

OMFG MINHOOOOOOOOO!!!, YONTHIS MAKES ME WANT TO PAY FOR UR KOFI OMFG I NEED TO GET PAID WTFFFFFFF

instead of you [part twenty-five] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 

warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of sex (mdni)

word count: 5.7k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!

series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi

Your cheeks were hot with embarrassment, but you nodded in understanding even though you didn’t want to have this conversation. You were ashamed enough already, you didn’t need to be reminded of what a shitty best friend you were. You wondered what Minho must think of you. How could he still be attracted to you when you were practically throwing yourself at your boyfriend’s brother? How could you be attracted to him when he was willing to fuck his brother’s girlfriend- well, almost fuck his brother’s girlfriend. Minho was clearly the better person here, because he was the one who’d stopped it from going any further. Not only that, but he was the single one here. Being a homewrecker wasn’t great, but at least he wasn’t the one cheating on his significant other. 

Of course, you weren’t actually cheating, but he didn’t know that. What you were doing was breaking a whole bunch of rules you’d agreed to with Jisung and going behind his back and breaking his trust-

“I won’t tell him if you won’t,” Minho suggested, putting your spiral on pause. 

You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest. “We can’t keep doing this.”

“I know.”

“I’m surprised you still…” you trailed off. What were you supposed to fill in the blank with? I’m surprised you still want to fuck me? Talk to me? Acknowledge my existence? You settled for “want to be around me” and left it at that. 

“Why?”

“You must think I’m a horrible person.”

“We’ve already been over this,” he pointed out. “If you’re a horrible person, I’m a horrible person.”

“Yeah, but, I just feel like it’s worse on my side.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know if I can explain it in a way you’ll understand.” You must have made a face because he was quick to backtrack. “Not in that way! Like, I don’t think you’re dumb or anything, it’s just that- god, I’m a fucking idiot. I don’t know how to explain-” he was fumbling, but you weren’t sure how to help. You weren’t sure if you wanted to help. “I thought that if we- if we, just once, then I’d get it out of my system, but I don’t think I can do that.”

You didn’t have any idea as to what he was talking about, but you had a feeling it wasn’t just about his brother anymore. “I thought you said this was about Jisung.”

His lip twitched, eyes widening in thinly veiled panic. “It is! That’s why-”

“What do you mean by ‘getting it out of your system’, then?” you pushed. 

Minho winced. “I don’t- uh, they’re probably wondering where we are by now.”

He was right, but you weren’t about to let him off the hook that easily. 

“Fine, but this isn’t over. We need to have this conversation.”

“I thought we were keeping our distance from each other,” he tried. 

“Yeah, and look where that fucking got us!” you hissed, leaning toward him. “We’re clearly not very good at avoiding each other so it’d be better to just talk about it, right?”

Minho didn’t look convinced, but he nodded anyway. “I guess. But not right now.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you huffed. 

You knew he could tell that you weren’t happy about the compromise, but you didn’t care. It was obvious that he was running away from confrontation, though you didn’t understand the reasoning behind it. Sure, it was going to be an awkward conversation to have, but you both already knew you were attracted to each other seeing as you had almost just fucked in the bathroom of a bar. It may have been more than just stupid hormones for you, but you weren’t about to tell him that. 

“You go back to join them,” you said, smoothing your dress. “I-I can’t see Jisung right now.” Minho nodded in understanding. “Tell them that you ran into me back here and that I’m going back to the room. Just make something up, but don’t say that I’m feeling sick or Jisung will want to come up to take care of me.”

“Okay,” he agreed. “I can do that.”

You both took another moment to freshen up, checking your reflections in the dim light. You wiped the smudged lipgloss from the corners of your mouth, not missing the way that Minho tucked his dick into the waistband of his slacks before heading for the door. 

“Wait, shit, I don’t have a key,” you muttered to yourself. “Jisung brought his for both of us.”

“Take mine,” Minho offered. He turned back around and reached into his pocket, fishing out the plastic card and handing it to you. 

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

You waited for a beat after Minho left the bathroom to follow, not wanting to get caught leaving together. Still, it felt like everyone knew. You felt like everyone was watching you as you made your way through the bar’s lobby to the elevators. 

You didn’t have time to dwell, too paranoid to even check if your suspicions were correct. 

The penthouse was thankfully empty when you returned. The main area was empty, at the very least. Nikki and Dom were either still out or had already gone to bed. Either way, you were relieved to be alone. You weren’t sure how long it would be until the boys got back so you took advantage of the solitude and jumped in the shower. 

It was nice not to have to worry about taking too long, or someone waiting to go after you. Sharing a bathroom with three men was more of a hassle than you had expected, but maybe that was because they were all high maintenance. 

You washed your hair and your body, but you didn’t focus too much on it. You knew there was no amount of scrubbing that could make the dirty feeling on your skin go away. It was ridiculous, how far you’d let this get. You didn’t know what was wrong with you, what had made you lose all sense of control and boundaries when you were around him. 

It was like you didn’t care about throwing your friendship with Jisung away, but you did. It made you sick to your stomach to think about the damage this might do to your relationship. You knew he’d be furious if he found out, and you knew he might never forgive you. So why couldn’t you stop?

The mirror was completely fogged up by the time you got out of the shower. You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but your fingers were all wrinkly, which told you it had been a hot minute. 

You hadn’t brought a change of clothes with you again so you were forced to retreat to your room in nothing but a towel. Minho, Jisung, and Felix were clustered in the hallway having a conversation because of course they were, and all three of them turned their attention to you when they heard the door to the bathroom open. 

“Sorry,” you squeaked, and scurried off to your room, but not before catching Minho’s eye and Jisung's smirk. 

Jisung was right behind you, leaving the two other boys in the hallway as he followed you into the bedroom. 

“Sorry,” you repeated to just him. “I didn’t know you guys were back already.”

“It’s okay. You always forget to bring your pajamas with you when you shower anyway.”

“I know! Why do I do that?”

He shrugged and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “You don’t like having to put your clothes on while you’re still in the bathroom because you’re all wet and the air is sticky.”

“Yeah, but I usually just suck it up when I’m with other people.”

“It’s not a big deal. I mean one of my brothers has already seen you naked.”

You scoffed, burying yourself in the task of pulling clean pajamas from your suitcase. “Please don’t remind me.”

“You missed a great Meg cover,” he said, taking your request to heart. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, they were a cute couple. They did that one song with SZA. You would’ve liked it.”

“Oh, bummer.”

Jisung laid back on the bed, training his eyes on the ceiling as you changed. It was a force of habit, something he still tended to do even though you had changed in front of each other and seen each other naked countless times. Honestly, it was an improvement from when he had used to fully turn away from you every time you started to strip, so you tried not to make too much fun of him for it. 

“Of course, no one beat our performance.”

“Of course not. We were naturals up there,” you agreed, jumping into bed next to him once you were dressed. 

“We hit every note. The track was off, not us.”

“The microphones warped our voices.”

“The speakers were broken.”

Jisung chuckled and propped himself up on his elbows. “Hey, we should probably have sex tonight.”

“Why, did one of your brothers say something?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” he assured you. “Just for consistency’s sake… unless you aren’t feeling up to it?”

“No, yeah, we can totally do it,” you answered quickly. Stupidly.

You zoned out while Jisung gave you a hickey on your neck, trying not to think about how Minho’s mouth had felt in that exact spot just a few hours ago. You moaned softer than you usually did, telling yourself that it was because you were sharing a space with Jisung’s parents, but you weren’t fooling anyone. 

You knew Minho would be able to hear you anyway, the walls had already proven to be awfully thin, and he’d see the hickey tomorrow regardless. There was no way around it. He’d know that you’d run to Jisung when you weren’t able to have him- except that wasn’t the case at all. But what would he think? Why did you care so much? 

You wished you could just tell him the truth, but then what would that solve? The whole reason you were on this stupid trip anyway was to convince Jisung’s family that he was in a relationship- Minho included. 

-

He managed to avoid you almost entirely the following day. You spent the afternoon with all of the Hans at The Bund, Shanghai’s most well-known attraction. It was a mile of skyline nestled against the Huangpu River with dozens of shops, museums, and galleries interspersed among the buildings. 

Jisung geeked out over the architecture, rambling about how there were over fifty-two styles of it present in the area. You listened intently, while his brothers pretended to fall asleep. You knew they were secretly interested, but they couldn’t let him know that. 

The day was warm, a bit uncomfortably hot if you stood in direct sunlight, but it was manageable in the shade. Dom bought everyone popsicles from a cart parked on the promenade to cool down. 

You shared with Jisung, trading your ice pops every few minutes. He’d gotten blue raspberry and you chose cherry, making both of your tongues turn purple. 

“This is how they invented the bisexual pride flag,” you said, licking a drop of juice from your hand. 

“You’re full of shit,” Jisung sighed and shook his head. 

“Fine, it wasn’t exactly like this. The inventor was at a party and they made out with a girl eating a blue popsicle and a boy eating a red one, and then when they saw that their mouth turned purple they had a eureka moment-”

“There isn’t even red on the bi flag!” your best friend pointed out. “It’s pink.”

“Fuck.”

“You forgot what your own flag looks like?”

“Would you have believed me if I said it was a pink popsicle?” you asked, ignoring his question. 

“No! It was a ridiculous story.”

“Damn.”

You stayed at The Bund until sunset, deciding to find a place to eat dinner when the sun kissed the horizon. 

You tried to enjoy the sights, but Minho was making it difficult. Every time you tried to corner him, get him alone to talk to him about the night before, he managed to change the subject or slip away. Most of the time, he’d just call one of the twins over to join your conversation, eliminating any chance you had of bringing up the incident. You wondered if the giant hickey on your neck had anything to do with it. It was clear that he hadn’t wanted to talk to you about it even before he thought you slept with his brother last night, but maybe that had made him even more hesitant. 

You eventually gave up trying to get him alone, not wanting to raise any red flags. Minho seemed to relax once he realized you’d laid off. He was much more conversational at dinner and even cracked a few jokes with his parents, who seemed oblivious to any tension. 

You didn’t even bother trying to talk to him the next morning. It was too early for that shit and you wanted to have a good time at the aquarium without worrying about your best friend’s brother. 

He said good morning to you in the kitchen as everyone was grabbing breakfast to go, but you ignored him. If he wanted to act immature, then you would too. It honestly seemed to be a better arrangement than whatever horny nonsense had been going on for the past few weeks. 

The aquarium was beautiful. This one in particular was known for its underwater tunnels with moving sidewalks. They stretched on for what felt like miles, taking you through all the different sea life enclosures. 

It was one of the more quiet activities, which you appreciated, and since it was so early it wasn’t too crowded either. The only time the silence was broken was when either you or Jisung would point out a funny-looking fish to one another. 

At first, Jisung had made jokes about spotting different kinds of fish that he’d cooked before, but that upset you so he stopped pretty much immediately. 

To your surprise, Minho pulled you aside in the aquarium gift shop. You were looking at shark stuffies while Jisung was over in the book aisle so you assumed that he was finally ready to talk about that night, but you were wrong. Instead, he grabbed one of the sharks off the shelf and pretended to look it over before turning to you and giving you a very serious look. 

“What?” you asked in annoyance, frustrated that you had to drag whatever it was out of him even now. 

“Do you still have the postcard?”

“The one you gave me in Italy?” you asked, cocking your head to the side. Minho nodded, rocking back on his heels awkwardly. “Yeah, why?”

“I… kind of need it back.”

You blinked, honestly taken aback at his sudden key change. “What? I thought you said I could keep it even after we called it even.”

“I know, I just- changed my mind.”

“Is this about Jisung, because he knew you gave me-”

“No, it isn’t about Jisung,” he cut you off and looked away as if he was paranoid about someone listening in on your conversation. “I don’t really want to get into it right now-”

“Okay, fine, whatever. I don’t have it here, though. It’s in my backpack back at the hotel so you can have it when we get back.” You folded your arms across your chest as you spoke, tone icy. 

Minho winced at your reaction. “I’m sorry, it’s just-”

“Don’t be. It’s whatever.”

Instinctively, you turned to search for Jisung, seeking comfort in his presence like you had done so many times before. You could see the top of his head over the aisles so you made your way over to him, abandoning Minho amongst the stuffies before he could respond. 

Jisung was still looking at books, seemingly trying to decide between a marine biology guide and a novel about a shipwreck based on the covers. He perked up when he felt you approach and turned around to face you, holding both of the books out. 

“Which one should I get?”

“I feel like I’m biased because I hate survival stories, and a survival story at sea sounds even worse.”

He sighed, turning the hardback over in his hand. “Yeah, you’re the hopeless romantic out of the two of us. Always reading love stories with the same tropes.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m hopeless,” you argued. “I found you, didn’t I?”

“I don’t think that’s a great point for your case.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up, you’re a great boyfriend.”

“Well, I’m glad you think so.”

“And for what it’s worth, I don’t only read romance.”

“Oh yeah, you also read a lot of smut.”

“Ji!”

“What? You do!”

“Yeah, but can you not advertise that so publicly?”

He laughed and nudged your shoulder playfully. “There’s no one around to hear.”

“If no one’s around, then why was I just hyping you up as a great boyfriend?”

“Because I am one.”

“You’re annoying, is what you are,” you huffed. 

“You say that, and yet continue to spend time with me.”

“Because I have no one else.”

He grinned at you before gazing down at your hands. “That’s cute. Are you going to get it?”

You looked down to see what he was talking about and realized you were holding a stuffed shark from the plushies section. You hadn’t even noticed that you brought it with you when you walked away from Minho. You’d been gripping it so hard that it was a little deflated and a couple of its felt teeth were turned inward. 

“Oh, um, I don’t know. Do you think I should?”

“Yeah,” Jisung answered with a shrug, “Why not?”

He grabbed it from you and placed it on top of the marine biology book in the crook of his elbow, sliding the novel back onto the shelf. 

“What are you doing?” you asked, following him through the store up to the register.

“Buying you the shark,” he said as if it should have been obvious.

“What, no! You don’t have to do that!” you protested. 

“Y/n, how many times have we been over this? I dragged you all the way across the world, the least I could do is buy you a stuffed shark.”

“You use that excuse with everything you buy for me!”

“Yeah, because it’s true. And as your boyfriend, it’s my job to do nice things for you. It’s literally, what, a hundred yuan? That’s like fifteen dollars.”

You knew you couldn’t argue with him about it in the store, seeing as the only valid point you could make was that he wasn’t actually your boyfriend.

“Fine,” you muttered. You could Venmo him for the stupid shark when you got back to the hotel. 

He smiled victoriously and placed both items on the counter for the cashier to scan. 

“What do you want to name it?”

“I don’t know. Do you have any ideas, since you’re the one buying it?”

He tilted his head back in thought, humming. “What about Shang? Because we’re in Shanghai? And Shang is also your favorite Disney prince.”

You bit your lip in embarrassment, suddenly wishing you had asked the question after purchasing the animal. Not only was his suggestion the most touristy thing you’d ever heard, but it was also exposing your crush on a fucking cartoon character in front of this stranger. 

“Well, they’re pronounced differently,” you pointed out quietly. 

“Yeah, you’d have to pick one and just know he represents both.”

You kept Shang tucked under your arm on the ride back to the hotel, letting Felix hold him when he asked how soft he was. It was a pain to hail a cab big enough for all six of you so Nikki made the executive decision to take two separate taxis. She and Dom would take the first, and then the four of you would squeeze into the next one. 

You sat squished in between the twins while Minho took the passenger seat. You were surprised that he remembered enough Mandarin from tours years ago to exchange pleasantries with the driver. The driver was impressed too and laughed heartily at something Minho said. 

“Butcher it that bad, huh?” Jisung joked, earning a glare from his older brother. 

“No, it was a joke. He was supposed to laugh.”

Jisung smirked and nodded like he was unconvinced. You almost scolded him for giving Minho a hard time, but then you remembered you were still mad at him so you held your tongue. 

“What’s for dinner?” you asked instead. 

“I don’t know,” Jisung replied. “We’re either going to try and find a place to get xiaolongbao or I’m gonna cook. Do you have a preference?”

“I am feeling a little tired, but I also have your food all the time. We should go out and get something while we’re here, right?”

“If that’s what you want to do, then absolutely.”

-

Once back, you set Shang at the head of your and Jisung’s bed, fluffing him gently so that he’d hopefully plump up again.

“It’s his bed now,” you’d announced to your best friend. 

“As it should be,” he agreed. “He is a benevolent ruler and reigns over his kingdom of the bedroom with a gentle hand.”

“How noble of him.”

Jisung nodded and yawned, stretching his arms over his head. “What do you want to do until dinner?” 

“How long do we have?”

“Few hours, probably.”

“Wanna check out the pool?”

“Yeah, I’ll ask Felix and Minho if they want to join us.”

“Actually,” you reached out to stop him, “can it just be the two of us?”

He seemed surprised by your request but was quick to reciprocate. “Sure, let’s go.”

-

Your hair was still wet by the time you were seated in the restaurant for dinner. You tried not to let it drip down the back of your chair, but that was proving to be difficult. Jisung’s hair had dried significantly more than yours had. It was damp, but only barely, and curling up at the ends. Each time he ran a hand through it, you’d be flicked with water droplets. 

“Was the pool any fun?” his mother asked, sipping from her cocktail glass.  

“It was nice,” Jisung answered for both of you. “It was really quiet because we were the only people there, but that was kind of a bonus.”

“Thanks for the invite,” Felix muttered, making you feel a little guilty for specifically not wanting them to join.

“I wanted to spend some time alone with my girlfriend, sue me!” Jisung shot back. 

You were thankful he didn’t throw you under the bus, even though you knew he wouldn’t anyway. 

“You get alone time with her every night, asshole,” his twin brother pointed out. 

Your hand shot up to your neck, suddenly feeling self-conscious about the hickey Jisung had given you the night before. Next to you, he clenched his jaw but didn’t say anything. Whether or not Felix had intended to make the innuendo was unclear, but knowing him it was easy to guess. 

“What should we order, Jisung?” Dom asked, expertly changing the subject like he had so many times before. 

You had noticed that anywhere you went, Jisung’s parents were always asking his opinion on what to eat. They assumed that because he was a culinary student he knew everything there was to know about food, and therefore knew what everyone would like. It was partly true, which was one of the reasons you always let him order for you. You were guilty of making the assumption too, but even though he acted annoyed by it you knew that he secretly liked being asked for his opinion. 

“We should get at least one order of the traditional xiaolongbao,” he suggested. “They’re pork dumplings full of soup, which is what Shanghai is famous for.”

“Sounds good, anything else?”

You tuned out as Jisung listed off a few other dishes to get, watching Minho out of the corner of your eye. He wasn’t paying attention either. He was scrolling on his phone, looking incredibly bored. 

You nearly scoffed. He could at least pretend to be interested in what Jisung was saying. You knew Jisung had done the same for him God knows how many times. 

You cleared your throat unsubtly, getting his attention immediately. Men were so easy. But you had also gotten everyone else’s attention, stopping the conversation altogether. 

“Yes, dear?” Jisung asked, leaning in your direction.

“Nothing, sorry,” you sputtered, still eyeing Minho. He held eye contact with you, eyebrows raised in question. “Swallowed wrong.”

Of course, you had to use the word swallow while staring down the guy you wanted to fuck. If he caught it, he didn’t show it. 

Jisung rubbed your back soothingly. “Oh, you alright, baby?”

“Fine, thanks.”

The conversation picked back up and you were able to fade into the background again. Minho contributed this time, presumably adding his thoughts on the food to the collective ordering process. 

“Does that sound good, baby?” Jisung’s voice snapped you out of your train of thought, and you realized you were still glaring at his brother. 

 “Hm? Oh, sure. You know I trust your judgment on food.”

“I know. Half the time we go out you don’t even open the menu.”

“I like to be surprised!”

He chuckled, the hand that was still on your back making familiar circular motions. “I know, I know. I just wanted to check to make sure there wasn’t anything in particular you wanted.”

“I’m ok. You’re very sweet, though.” You punctuated the statement with a kiss to his cheek. 

“I know.”

“Jesus Christ, I take it back.”

“Too late!”

“You’re impossible.”

“Thank you.”

-

After dinner, the Hans decided to attempt taking the metro back to the hotel rather than a cab. It took an hour longer because Felix misread the map and had all of you get on the wrong train at first, but eventually, you made it back to the square you all recognized and walked the rest of the way from there. 

Jisung jumped in the shower first, and you followed him, washing all of the chlorine from the pool out of your hair and off of your body. You remembered to bring your change of clothes with you this time and threw your wet hair up in your towel so that you wouldn’t drip everywhere as you had at the restaurant. 

Shang was sitting on Jisung’s lap when you joined him in the bedroom. He was absorbed in the book you’d lent him, highlighter balanced between his teeth as he jotted something down in the margins with a ballpoint pen. 

“Shang better not end up in your room instead of mine when we go home,” you warned. 

“Be prepared for him to go missing,” he mumbled. 

“I’ll just take him back!”

“You won’t be able to find him. And you’ll never be able to prove it was me.”

“We’ll see about that.”

You were about to crawl into bed next to him when Nikki calling for the boys stopped you. You weren’t included in the roll call, but Jisung dragged you out into the living room anyway to see what was going on. 

Felix had beat you there and was standing behind the couch where his parents were gathered around an iPad. 

“It’s your cousin!” Nikki exclaimed. “Come say hi!”

The twins rounded the sofa and sat on either side of their parents, leaning into the frame so that the boys on the other side of the screen could see them. 

“Jeongin, Yoon! How are you?”

“Good! It’s hot here!” the older one, presumably Jeongin, answered.

“Where’s’here’?” Felix asked. 

“Florida!” the younger one exclaimed. 

“We’re in the States for vacation,” Jeongin explained. “I dunno how you lived here for so long, Jisung.”

“To be fair, I was a little further north than you are, but yeah, summers are brutal. Oh, by the way, this is my girlfriend!”

You were still standing behind the couch, not wanting to encroach on their family discussion, but when Jisung mentioned you he motioned for you to bend down into the frame and introduce yourself. 

You waved, hoping he could see you. “Hi! Nice to meet you, I’m y/n.”

Jeongin shot you a polite hello before addressing Jisung again. “I honestly thought you were lying when you said you had a girlfriend.”

Felix burst out laughing from the other side of the couch. “I miss you guys. It’s not as fun to make fun of Ji without you. Minho’s been lacking!”

“Oi, at least I have a girlfriend,” Jisung butt in. “I reckon you four will be single for the rest of your lives.”

“I bet Jeongin’s found himself a summer crush,” Felix reasoned. “He’s always had the most game out of all of us.”

The youngest boy scoffed. “Yeah, okay. One of us is a famous K-pop dancer, but I’m definitely the one with the most game.”

“Talent doesn’t equal game,” Jisung added despite being roasted within an inch of his life seconds earlier. 

“Where is Minho?” Nikki asked the twins suddenly, looking around the room for her eldest son.

“He’s at the bar we went to the other night,” Felix answered. “The one on the roof.”

“Can one of you go grab him? He needs to say hello to the boys.”

“I can do it,” you volunteered automatically without thinking. You didn’t want either of the boys to give up time talking with Jeongin and Yoon, but you hadn’t considered that you would have to see Minho and be alone with him if you were going to take their place. 

“Are you sure?” Jisung asked. 

“Yeah, totally,” you replied, trying to control the shakiness in your voice. “You guys stay here. I’ll go get him.”

You kissed Jisung before you could change your mind as if the decision had been sealed by your lips. 

You ran back by your room to slip on some shoes and took your hair out of the towel it had been drying in, hanging it on one of the hangers in the bedroom closet. 

The bar was only a few floors above the one you were staying at, but you decided to take the elevator anyway, not wanting to get sweaty after having just showered. You tried convincing yourself that being alone with Minho would be no big deal, even after what happened last time you were at this bar. Maybe you would finally be able to have that conversation you had been trying to have with him. 

Doubtful. He’d been acting weird all day. Certainly, he’d find another reason to blow you off and you’d be right back where you started. 

As soon as the elevator dinged at the floor you were headed to your heart dropped into your stomach. You told yourself that the nerves were because of the height. It was a rooftop bar after all. But you had been perfectly fine the last time you were here, so you couldn’t even attribute your anxiety to that. No, you knew exactly what it was. You just didn’t want to admit it.    

Even though the bar was dark, it wasn’t hard to find Minho. The place was practically empty. He was seated on one of the plush velvet couches facing the windows, looking down at something that was in his hands. As you got closer, you recognized something beside him. It was a bag. More specifically-

“Is that my backpack?” you demanded, making him jump up in surprise. 

All of the nervous energy dissipated instantly, quickly replaced by anger and confusion. Minho clutched what he was holding to his chest. His eyes were wide with panic and his cheeks were already turning pink. 

“What the fuck, Minho?” you hissed, continuing when he didn’t say anything. “Care to explain yourself?”

Suddenly, the shocked expression on his face fell into one of… what you thought might be anger, only confusing you further. 

“I should be asking you the same thing,” he spat.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I know I shouldn’t have taken your stuff without asking-”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have.”

“Let me finish,” he grumbled. 

You rolled your eyes, honestly in disbelief that someone who was snooping through your things could have the audacity to be upset with you. 

“I just went to get the postcard I gave you.”

The postcard. You had forgotten that he asked for it back. Still, that didn’t give him any right to-

“You said it was in your backpack so once we got back to the hotel I was just going to grab it from your room. I didn’t want to have to ask you again since you were clearly upset about it, so I thought that I’d find it myself. That was all I was going to do, I swear, but you had a lot of things in your backpack that looked like postcards, and some of them mentioned me so… I took the bag with me so that I could look at them all later, after dinner. I didn’t know what I was looking at, at first…” he trailed off. 

A slight shift in his hands revealed what he was actually holding. Flashcards. The flashcards. Fuck. The room began to spin and you genuinely thought you might be sick. You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. You wanted to break one of the bar’s windows and leap out of it, even if it meant facing your greatest fear. But you couldn’t move. Your mind screamed at you to do something, say something to explain yourself, but you were frozen in place, unable to say a word, let alone string an entire sentence together.

“What are these, y/n?” he asked, taking a step toward you. 

It was a rhetorical question. He obviously knew what they were. “Dates, fun facts, stories about you and Jisung... either you have a really shitty memory, or you’re not actually dating my brother.” His tone was taunting, he was smirking, but the way he was looking at you, the way he clenched his jaw, told you that he wasn’t amused in the slightest. 

“I-”

“Are you really in love with Jisung?”

“I love Jisung,” you whispered quietly, desperately. You couldn’t even look Minho in the eye. 

“Are you in love with him?” he repeated. “Don’t fucking lie to me.”

You sucked in a breath, forcing yourself to meet Minho’s gaze. 

“No.”

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In my dreams

Seungmin x reader. (fake) enemies to lovers. my interpretation of in my dreams by tearliner, love X stereo.

Seungmin has never liked you. You never understood why, but you were slowly coming to terms with it. However, you gradually come to learn that there is more to his feelings than what meets the eye.

skz song series

cw: reader has anxiety and deals with lots of self-doubt and insecurities.

a.n: the end of our skz song series!! and a pretty personal final fic, this one is based on my own experience with anxiety, so it might differ for everyone :) thank you for reading as always <3

You watch, a soft smile on your face as two little girls play with one another in the playground. It reminds you of simpler times, when you could just walk up to another human and become friends with them instantly.

But reality is much more challenging, especially for someone like you, constantly plagued by their anxious thoughts.

Anxiety didn't tiptoe into your life, one drop at a time so you'd get accustomed to its overwhelming presence. Instead, you woke up one day and it barged into you, through cracks and dents you didn't even know existed in your being, and then it made itself a permanent home within the confines of your heart.

You never truly learned how to live with this parasite feeding off your soul, draining you completely until you became a mere shell of who you once were. You never fully adjusted to the invisible hands choking you from within, to the voice nagging you in the back of your mind, telling you that something horrible was bound to happen.

Because nothing ever went wrong, day after day, nothing bad happened. And yet, the feeling of dread persisted and lingered until you started to believe that the problem was you.

And once you opened the door to self-doubt, you could never fully close it again.

You're too overwhelmed, too nervous, too much of everything bad. Your conversations are scrutinized, down to every syllable you uttered, to the way you smiled and how you laughed. The interactions might differ but the regret that haunts you after is the same.

So, you diluted your being, in an effort to be more acceptable, easier in the lives of the people around you. You believed that if you pleased everyone you ever encoutered then at the end you must satisfy yourself too.

You sigh softly, drumming your fingers along your knee. You’re starting a new year in college tomorrow. Your first one wasn't exceptional by any means. Aileen, the girl who sat beside you from time to time was nice, and you grabbed coffee sometimes as you prepared for your exams together. But she had other friends, ones she's much closer to, ones she invited to her birthday party, ones who she didn't simply fill her free time with.

You shake your head, putting a stop to the thoughts in your head before they get too much once again, pushing you over an edge you don't want to be in right now. 

You'll try harder this year. You'll be okay, for once.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

Your professor Lee is scribbling something on the large whiteboard, as he waits for the class to fill up. Someone sits next to you, and the smell of their cologne wafts to your nose- hints of vanilla and wood seemingly calming down your nerves. You quickly take a glance at them, to find a guy with long brown hair and freckles dusting his cheeks. He's taking out his notepad from his bag, and you smile at the chick keychain he has on it. He catches you looking and you quickly avert your gaze, heat creeping up your cheeks. 

"Hi, I'm Felix," he greets enthusiastically, and you turn your head slowly to be met with his wide grin. It softens his features, making his eyes turn into moon crescents. You envy his ability to smile without overthinking how he looks. 

"Yn," you introduce back, and he nods, the grin still etched on his face. "You were in my Economics class last year, no?" he asks and you tilt your head to the side, as you mull over his question.

"I was but I don't remember seeing you," you admit sheepishly and he waves a hand in the air, not bothered the least by your words. 

"It's okay, I just remembered your presentation on Inflation. I finally understood why we can't just print more money," he admits with a chuckle, and you giggle against your will. 

"I don't blame you, it sounds like an easy solution," you agree, and his eyes widen. 

"Right! when I tell my friends they just stare at me in disappointment."

You laugh at his adorable pout, an unfamiliar warmth stirring within your chest. He's nice. 

"I'm glad I helped you then, I was so nervous presenting it," you clear your throat as he smiles impressively at you. "Really? I couldn’t tell at all." 

Mr. Lee calls for your attention and you both turn your heads back to the board. You couldn’t really focus, Felix’s words echoing in your head like a broken mantra- he couldn’t tell you were nervous. A sudden relief dawns on you at the possibility that, maybe, not everyone is aware of the neverending storm raging within you, threatening to drown you at any giving moment.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

"Movie night at my dorm?" Felix proposes as he packs up his bag, your two hours long class finally done.

"Will Seungmin be there?" you ask, a slight edge to your voice and Felix pauses, shaking his head at you.

"Yn, you're overreacting. I promise he doesn't hate you."

"Have you ever seen him smiling at me?" you ask, arching your eyebrow expectantly at him. He stays silent and you wiggle your finger in the air. "Exactly! Please tell me he won't be there."

"About that... He's helping me bake the cookies," Felix smiles sheepishly and you groan, falling dramatically on your seat.

"I’m not coming."

"But the cookies," Felix pouts, and the promise of the chewy baked goods is so enticing it makes you second-guess your decision.

"The cookies...," you whine, and Felix giggles grabbing your hand to pull you up.

"I’ll see you at 5?"

"Yes," you concede, a small smile on your lips. You wait until Felix bids you goodbye for it to finally slip from your face.

Seungmin has never liked you, from the moment Felix introduced you to him. You still remember it clear as day, the way his eyes slightly widened when they fell on you, before narrowing down. How he didn't utter a single word when Felix left you both alone to get your drinks. Your panic grew as an uncomfortable silence reigned on the both of you, and you racked your brain for something to say to cut through that eerie quiet.  

"Seungmin, right?" you asked, a bit too cheerfully, and you winced inwardly at your tone. He didn't reply, only humming back. It was so faint you wouldn't have caught it had you not been staring at him intently.

"What's your major?" Your voice cracked.

"Computer science." He replied curtly, and you waited patiently, expecting him to return the question. He didn't. And you shifted awkwardly from one foot to another. Maybe he just didn't do well with strangers. Maybe he wasn't a chatty person, to complement Felix's extroverted nature.

But you were wrong. You watched in complete astonishment as he teased Felix relentlessly, a wide smile on his face. It made his eyes soften, a newfound fondness itching itself on his expressions. He laughed and he joked and you felt yourself shrink more and more, this way he wouldn't notice you anymore, wouldn't glare at you as if you did something horribly wrong to him.

Felix tried to include you as best as he could in their conversation, but you tuned it out. It was hard to focus on their talk when there was a tumultuous one ongoing in your mind. Seungmin's behavior just further cemented every horrible idea you held about yourself. There is something wrong about you, and he can see it. You may have fooled Felix but you didn't fool Seungmin. If you were him you wouldn't talk to you either.

Every encounter with Seungmin since then left you feeling fifteen years old again, in a classroom full of unkind eyes zeroed on you. You tried to talk about his interests, to string along a normal conversation, one that would reassure that your first encounter was a wrongful impression.

But he did not like talking to you, only offering short replies in response. It’s as if his tongue was tied in your response, and in return it only magnified the knot in your stomach. You went through every conversation with him a million times in your head, trying to pinpoint what exactly went wrong. What warranted him to be so silent in your presence, and yours only, as if you weren’t worthy of a simple conversation. And the answer always tied back to you.

So, you’ve been avoiding him like the plague for the past month, sparing him the chore that is existing near you. It was particularly hard since Felix was his best friend and roommate, and surprisingly he actually enjoyed spending time with you. Still, you couldn’t help but think that it was only a matter of time before Felix started to hate you too.  

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

"You're moving too much," Seungmin chastises and you freeze in your place at his words. You are sitting on the couch of Felix’s dorm later on that day, a horror movie playing in the small TV before you. Felix decided to lay on the floor, buried in a pool of yellow blankets, and a long pillow that weirdly had the picture of one of their friends printed on it. "It's my safety net," he explained and you didn't question him any further.

For some reason, Seungmin decided to sit next to you, instead of the opposing couch. Granted, he can see the TV more clearly from here, still this is the first time he willingly went somewhere near you, let alone talked to you.

You decide to ignore him, too focused on predicting the next jump scare, your feet tapping the floor furiously. But still, it happens so abruptly, eliciting a startled gasp from you, anf you clutch the edge of the couch even tighter.  

"Close your eyes," Seungmin speaks suddenly and you raise an eyebrow at him, confused. 

"There is a jump scare coming soon," he clears his throat, "just... close your eyes if you don't want to see it." 

You comply without much thought and soon enough, you can hear a shrill scream coming from the screen. He was right. 

"It passed," he says softly, and you tentatively open your eyes once again. There is a foreign expression on Seungmin's face, one you haven't seen before, but it passes as quickly as it came, like a dream slipping between your fingers as soon as you wake up. 

"How did you know?" you ask, hugging your knees tightly to your chest. 

"I already watched this movie."

"Really? Why are you watching it again?"

"Because. I had nothing better to do," he says, almost defensively, his hand now covering his mouth as if he had to physically stop the words from spilling out. 

You don't reply, turning back to look at the screen. Seungmin doesn't tell you when a jump scare is coming next, he simply taps your arm, and you close your eyes on cue. 

His hand brushing against your bare skin feels weird, not uncomfortable by any means, but it still is a foreign sensation. You didn't know he had such soft hands, and you always imagined them to be cold. But they are warm, and you wonder what other things about Seungmin you've been wrong about.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

"I'm so tired," Felix groans, laying his head on your shoulder and you giggle, patting his head in mock sympathy. It's been three months since the start of your year, which means that the assignments are starting to pile up on you all.

"Me too," you sigh, and Seungmin stays silent next to you. Felix dragged you both to this coffeeshop, a little outing to recharge his spirit, as he texted you. You're slowly getting used to Seungmin's brooding presence. He talks to you a little more, even cracking a few jokes here and there. But you’re still wary of him. You keep your guard up just in case he forcefully brings a mirror to your face once again, reminding you of everything you despise about yourself.

"I'll go order, it's my treat. Pick a place for us?" Felix says and you nod, walking ahead of Seungmin towards a table near the back.

You sit down first, and Seungmin follows second, sitting right across from you. You quickly bring out your phone, scrolling mindlessly through the apps to distract yourself from the man in front of you.

"You have a presentation tomorrow, right?" Seungmin speaks up, startling you, and you slowly put your phone down.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Felix told me that it makes up 25% of your grade. Are you nervous?"

"A little," you admit, even though ‘a little’ didn't even begin to cover it.

"Don't be. You'll do well," he says, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. You almost feel as if you've imagined it before it dissipates.

"Thank you," you nod, as Felix brings the tray down your table.

"Is this for me?" you ask tentatively, pointing to the strawberry milkshake, a sore thumb sticking out between the iced americano, and the hazelnut Frappuccino, Seungmin’s and Felix’s respective go to orders.

"They got the order wrong. I got you an iced matcha," Felix pouts, double checking his receipt.

"It's okay," you smile slightly. There was nothing you despised more than having to change up your order.

"You don't want to drink this," Seungmin says, staring at you expectantly and you wave your hand in the air dismissively. "I don't mind."

Seungmin stands up, grabbing the drink from your hand before taking the receipt from the table. He goes to the counter and you watch in astonishment as he comes back, a green drink in hand this time.

"Here," he hands you your cup, before grabbing his own and sipping from it. Your drink is cold, but the warm tingles spreading through your being at his sweet gesture outweigh any other feeling.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

Talking in front of 267 people never gets easier.

You memorized your presentation; you rehearsed it so much you could probably recite it with your eyes closed. Yet, the nerves still found a way to weave themselves inside you. Your hands were shaking, so much you couldn't even stare at the notes you prepared. Your palms were sweaty, blood rushing rapidly to your ears, tuning out your voice as you spoke.

You can’t even recall what you said exactly, it’s as if your body had a mind of its own, your mouth moving itself without you commanding it. You aren’t sure how it was, but someone smiled at you reassuringly from the first row, and the professor clapped, so you assume you did okay.

The class finally ends, your nerves slowly dissipating and leaving in their trail an excruciating exhaustion. You rub your eyes tiredly, as you slowly walk out of the door, before stopping in your tracks when you notice Seungmin leaning against the wall, hands buried in his varsity jacket.

His eyes are closed, a pair of earphones dangling across his chest. But then, as if he feels you looking at him, he opens his eyes, locking his gaze on you. You stay put in your place as he walks to you, his bag loosely hanging from his shoulder. He hooks his thumb underneath the strap, keeping it in place

"How was it?" he questions, and it takes you a few seconds to register what he was asking about. Your presentation. Was he waiting for you?

"I think I did well?" you reply, but it comes out more of a question to which he giggles softly.

"Are you asking me?" he teases and you roll your eyes playfully. "I did well," you repeat and he smiles, nodding a bit. "I’m sure you did. Here." He opens his bag, taking out your favorite chocolate bar from it- it had bits of caramelized pistachio and almonds in it. Seungmin doesn’t like it, he prefers plain milk chocolate, as Felix told you one day.

"Eat this, I ended up buying two by mistake, I still have an extra one at the dorm." You grab it from his hands, and he quickly leaves before you could properly thank him.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

You always dread the days you'd wake up with a heavy weight crushing your chest.

You try to distract yourself, try to focus in class and take notes. You try to laugh at Felix's jokes and savor the brownies he just brought you. But you can't. It feels as if you're a cup filled to the brim, each passing second bringing you closer to when that fateful drop would finally make you overflow. And you could do nothing but watch yourself unravel.

Seungmin's eyes never leave you, and it only makes your anxiety spike. It feels as if he's peering inside your soul, witnessing how a cord ties itself around your throat, making it impossible for you to breathe. You can't speak anymore, every word you say threatening to make tears spill out of your eyes. You aren't sure you can make them stop if they ever start falling.

Nothing happened, nothing's happening, you try to remind yourself. But you are scratching your hand incessantly, and you feel an overwhelming need to flee. To run away, somewhere where only you would witness the display of your broken soul. So you sputter a meek excuse, and then you stand up and head to your dorm.

It's raining outside, and you don't have an umbrella. But you are grateful for it, since the rain mingles with your salty tears, shielding them from the curious eyes of the people passing by. You need to get home, you need to hide somewhere and you need to remember how to breathe-

"Yn," a hand grabs your forearm and you startle, instinctively taking two hurried steps back. It's Seungmin. He removed his blue hoodie and he's now placing it over both of your heads.

"What are you doing? You'll get sick," he sounds mad, and you can't take his disappointed tone anymore.

"I'm having a bad day and I don't need you to make it worse," you say, startling yourself with the raw emotion in your voice.

He physically recoils from your words, his arms faltering as he gazes at you, a wounded look in his eyes. "I make your days worse?" he asks quietly and his voice sounds so small, you can't help the regret that courses through you.

"Come on, Seungmin," you chuckle warily, "don't you hate me?"

"No?"

"Hate is a strong word, okay. You dislike me."

"I don't. Why would you think that?"

"Because you never wanted to talk to me, from the moment we met. And it wouldn't matter if you were this way with everyone, but it's only me. And you make me feel so small each time I'm around you," you ramble angrily, as Seungmin's eyes widen with each passing second.

"Yn, yn, I don't- I didn't know you felt this way, but I don't hate you. I truly don't, I promise you," he's panicking, voice growing higher with each word, and you feel a sudden embarrassment flood your being for lashing out at him.

You don't know what to say and he sighs, looking up at the cloudy sky before meeting your eyes once again.

"This is embarrassing, God, um..." he places his hoodie on top of your head before running a hand through his face. "I don't talk to you because you make me nervous." 

"I do?"

"Yes. A lot," he chuckles, a pink hue tinting his cheeks. "I just... I find you very interesting, and funny, and I like watching you, not in a creepy way, my God what am I saying," he whines, hiding his face in his hands and you can't help the giggle that escapes your mouth.

"Don't laugh," he pouts and you nod, willing the smile to disappear from your face. 

"I like watching you exist. Just laugh and smile and talk. You look very pretty doing it. I just don't know how to deal with it. That's on me."

This time the smile is effectively gone from your face. The weight of his confession distracting you from the turmoil of emotions that swirled within you.

"I'm sorry, for making you feel that way. I never meant to. For what it's worth, you make me feel like a small kid again, as if I'm having a crush for the first time." 

A fresh wave of tears brims in your waterline, and Seungmin's eyes soften at the sight.

"Please don't cry," he says, gently wiping the rain droplets from your cheeks. "I don't hate you, I think I like you too much and that's the problem." 

I'm sorry I misjudged you, until you wiped my tears off away

"Okay," you say quietly, your mind not yet registering what he said, too busy focusing on his hands on your face. You can't believe you've ever felt invisible because of Seungmin, when he's looking at you like you're the most precious being in the world. 

"You had a bad day?" he asks, his knuckles brushing against your cheek tenderly, and you nod, silently. 

"Would you like a hug?" he asks, and you nod again. A hug sounded nice. 

He steps forward, wrapping his arms around you. His t-shirt is cold, clinging to his now wet skin. But a surprising warmth emanates from his chest, shielding you from the pouring rain- it travels from his body to yours, as if it's a familiar path, one it underwent a million times before. His hand finds your back, and he pats it gently, following a soothing rythme, one you try to sync your breathing to. "You did well," he whispers, "you always do well," and his words feel like a patch of shade on a scorching day.

You exhale softly, tightening your arms around his waist. You think you can stay here, for a while. You could rest in Seungmin, now and tomorrow, and maybe for the following months. If he still likes you this much. 

Bonus 

"I'm ready," Seungmin says, his soft hair tickling your bare skin. He's laying on top of your stomach, black tie undone, a piece of crumpled paper in his hands. You can tell he's nervous, with the way he looks up at the ceiling, avoiding your gaze. You lean down, pressing a sweet kiss to the top of his head. He closes his eyes, his hold on the yellowed paper slightly faltering.

"I'm all ears," you whisper, and he smiles softly at you, before looking at his written vows- the ones you decided to read to each other after your wedding ceremony, just the two of you, in your personal bubble. It feels much more intimate this way, they are words meant for you only to hear, after all.

"My love," he starts, and he can already feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He blinks repeatedly, in a desperate attempt to keep them at bay. "If I'm reading this it means I finally married you, which is probably the best thing I've ever done in my life." You giggle and he can't help but smile at the sound of your laugh.

"I am writing these vows one year into our relationship, I haven't proposed yet, but I just know you're the one I want to marry. And I suppose I don't want to forget everything I want to say to you, when that day comes." His words make your breath hitch in your throat as realization dawns on you- he wrote this three years ago, and he kept it safe, till this day.

"I still remember when I saw you for the first time. I couldn't talk because you looked so pretty, and you were smiling at Felix and I felt an overwhelming need to be the one you were smiling at. I think you cast a spell on me because I couldn't even ask you about your major back, I couldn't believe how awestruck I was. But you already know this, don't you?" He looks up at you, pressing a quick kiss to your stomach and you smile widely. You still remember when Seungmin recounted the first time you met, from his perspective. Rosy cheeks and fumbling words as he explained how much he felt for you in that instant, and how little he could express it.

"But there are still things I haven't told you," he clears his throat. "Like how Felix told me what horror movie he was planning to watch with you, and I looked it up the night before, to memorize all the jump scares just in case you were afraid. And you were, and I'm glad I did. I don't even like horror movies, but it was worth watching it three times in a row, just for you."

"Also, how I had to run out of my class to yours, so I'd catch you after the end of your presentation. I bought that chocolate only for you. I kept a stack of fifteen bars hidden in my desk, just in case you were feeling down, and you ended up needing it. I kept asking Felix about everything you liked, and disliked, and he was probably sick of me at that time," he chuckles, as memories of begging his roommate for any bit of information about you flooded his mind.

"I don't know how far into the future it'll be when I'll finally read this to you. I don't know how I'll be, or where I'll be, but as long as you're with me then I must be okay. I used to overthink everything, plan every part of my life so it'd run smoothly. That is until you came into my life, so suddenly, and you flipped it upside down. I didn't care to plan my life anymore, all that mattered is that it revolved around you," he pauses, sucking in a deep breath.

"I knew I wanted to marry you when you took me stargazing. You talked about the stars and galaxies so excitedly. And then you brought up Saturn; how it was unique among the planets, adorned with thousands of ringlets. And I remember thinking that you're my saturn, you're the dazzling planet that everyone admires and I'm the ring spinning around you, the one you're keeping afloat. And as long as you're here, I have a purpose and I'm okay. So please..." his voice wavers, as silent tears slip out of his eyes.

"Don't leave me. I know we're married now, but still, don't leave me. I love you. I feel like I've loved you in different lifetimes, in different earths and timelines. Everything can come crashing down around us, but one thing that'll forever remain the same is my love for you. I was made to love you, after all. My eyes were made to look at you, and my hands to graze your cheeks. And my heart... My heart was made to beat for you. And I love you. I feel like I don't say it enough but I truly love you. As long as I'm breathing then I'm yours."

Minho is written so well, but they all are?! Like!!! Writing my feelings is hard. But all the characters feel real. Like I’m watching them with my imagination and I can feel their emotions. I hurt with them!!! I feel like I’m exaggerating but I’m not!!!! I really love how you write and how it makes me feel. The storyline is beautiful and it hurts. You’ve made these ppl into their own characters and I really love that. I want to know them all and be there for them even though I know they are not real. The way you tell the story is so beautiful too. I envy ur talent.

Am I repeating myself? Yes. I just really love this.

They all love each other and I can feel it in my bones, it’s both heartbreaking and heartwarming!!!

I know that you deserve a lot more notes and attention on this.

HELLO STRANGER. PART SIX.

PAIRING: minho ft. hyunjin x fem!reader GENRE: smut, angst, fluff, soulmate!au. enemies to lovers. jealousy. pining. unrequited love. WORD COUNT: 5.9k

masterlist and taglist ♡ pt.1 | pt.5

do not repost to other sites, including translations.

He was made for the sun, you’ve come to learn. It seeps into his skin and melts right into the core of him. You’re sure it’s why he runs so warm. It’s a guilty pleasure: to watch him here. Your garden is safe and outside of reality and you can forget the cheesecake is off limits. You’ve been coming here with him so often you’re sure you are risking ruining the magic. You’ll find someone trimming the hedges or mowing the grass and it’ll be over. 

Minho readjusts his position in the grass, lifting his hands up underneath his head. You have a perfect vantage point from the swing. He lies in a soft bed of green, the sun shining down on his face—eyes closed, t-shirt rising slightly up his stomach. 

No one said you can’t look at the cheesecake. 

“Why’d you stop?” 

You blink, tearing your eyes from the sliver of skin between his t-shirt and waistband. 

“Huh?”

Keep reading

the boy is bad news | h.hj smau

ch 37 - i love him

genre: angst, smut, social media au (with written parts), college au, enemies to lovers

wc: 3.2k

summary: An aspiring journalist, you are the news editor for The Uni Chronicles; the campus newspaper, popular for delivering breaking news at the drop of a hat and providing detailed articles about the various happenings around your university. You think you’ve covered every story there was to cover before you’re tasked with producing an in-depth editorial on a student whose name is on everyone’s lips—Hwang Hyunjin.

masterlist

Flashing lights. Blaring speakers. Warm bodies brushing past him like waves rushing past a stone in the sand. Hyunjin had never felt so alone in a crowd before. The liquor did nothing but amplify the overwhelming sensation in his chest and uproot all of the feelings he had tried to bury. He needed relief. He needed to get out of here.

Hyunjin shuffles through the mass, trying his best to politely dodge waving arms and swaying hips. But one too many bumps pushes his patience past his limit and he finds himself forging his escape path forcefully towards the door, not caring to acknowledge the annoyed faces glaring at him as he weaves through.

Greeted by the long awaited night breeze, he slumps against the wall of the bar, taking in deep breaths of cool air and shutting his eyes in an attempt to shut out the thoughts swarming his brain.

As soon as he indulges in the darkness however, he visualizes you—smiling, laughing, looking breathtakingly beautiful as he always remembers—but next to someone else.

Taeyong. Lee fucking Taeyong. Hyunjin didn't know much about the guy, besides the fact that he was a culinary major and a handsome one at that, but he really didn't need to know more. It was the simple fact that you had gone on a date with someone, anyone, besides him. The fact that you had shared an intimate moment with another while Hyunjin was greedy for all of those moments. He wanted all of them, every single one of them, with you.

Was it a tad possessive for him to feel this way? Maybe. But he's been intent on winning you since before he was even aware of his desires. It's not fair for another man to come in so easily and be instantly rewarded a date with you when he's been trying for months. No—even if he had met you yesterday, Hyunjin could not make peace with the thought of you entertaining another man. Not for one second. He needed you to be his and only his. Because he was already yours. And the longer he gave himself to you without recompense, the more it tore him apart inside.

He was becoming hollow, the pain of your absence eating away at him like an ulcer in his chest. Soon, there would be nothing left. An empty cavity where his heart belonged, before it ran itself to death from pouring too much into you.

You caused it. You took a blade and slashed it open when you decided to go on that date. The tear is only growing as his feelings leak out, overwhelming Hyunjin with grief.

He looked Taeyong up as soon as he heard. Browsed through endless photos on his social media accounts, comparing the man to himself as he tried to reason that he was a better match for you.

This guy doesn’t know you like Hyunjin does. He doesn’t understand that your tough exterior only veils your sweet heart, that you have dreams and aspirations and a plethora of talent to make them into realities. He doesn’t know how much you care for your friends, for strangers you’ve just met, even for an obnoxious soccer player who does nothing but give you hell.

He doesn’t know how you need to be hugged when you’re upset. How you spew harsh words and push away, only to cover up the fact that you’re hurting. How a simple embrace will knock down your walls and allow you to give in to your vulnerabilities.

He can’t love you like I do.

Hyunjin is convinced that no one ever can. Because he’s never felt this way in his life. Not for anyone before and not for anyone else he’ll ever meet. It’s too strong. The way his heart pounds in his chest whenever you’re around. The way his lungs are stripped of air when you kiss him. The way he can’t stop wanting more.

He was doing fine before he met you—never felt the need to care about someone other than himself, well loved by his friends and classmates, and successful on all accounts. But the moment you sat down with him in that coffee shop, the sharp look in your eyes telling him that you saw straight through his antics and wouldn’t be fooled like so many others in his life, he knew you’d turn his world on edge. He just didn’t know it’d be like this. Like a part of him was missing when you’re gone. Like he can’t function without you.

Hyunjin feels pathetic, but for once, he doesn’t care. He leans against the cold wall of the bar, watching the cars pass on the road in front of him. There’s a group of guys smoking cigarettes under the streetlight on the other side of the door and a couple making out in the alleyway next to him. The girl was similar in height to you, standing on her tiptoes as the tall man cradled her in his arms, kissing her sloppily with passion. His dark hair brushes against her cheeks, drawing giggles from her.

In his drunken haze, Hyunjin sees that it’s Taeyong kissing you, rapidly blinking his eyes before realizing he was mistaken. But it was too late. The image had traveled to his brain, sending a jolt of pain to his chest and making him sick to his stomach. He had to leave. He had to get away from this place and rid himself of these thoughts somehow. The thought of you with another man pushes him over the edge, nauseating him with fury. Hyunjin needed something to soothe his affliction and all he could think about was you—the cause of his pain and the answer to his anguish.

So he texts you, seeking some sort of solace in your words, but it’s not enough. He needs to see you, needs to hold you, needs to breath you in before he suffocates. Hyunjin calls for a cab and makes his way to you immediately. He can’t get there fast enough. As the driver navigates to your apartment, Hyunjin closes his eyes. He’ll be there soon, he tells himself, he’ll see you soon.

“Is everything good?”

Taeyong’s voice brings you out of the fixation you had on the text conversation in your phone.

“You’re kinda zoning out right now, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You sigh. “I’m just worried.”

Taeyong sets down his fork next to the bowl of pasta you were sharing. He made it for you because you said you were craving it, and it was the best damn pasta you’d ever tasted. But after only two bites you had stopped eating. You didn’t have an appetite.

“Y/N, we talked through this already, everything is going to be okay. All you need to do is talk it out with him. I think it’s clear how you both feel, don’t you agree?”

“But what if I say the wrong thing? Or what if he won’t listen to me?” You bring your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs to hold them in place. “We’re shit at communicating, Tae. The only times we speak well is when we’re arguing.” You mumble.

“Just speak from your heart. Be honest!” He encourages you. “C’mon, why don’t you tell me how he makes you feel and it can be like you’re practicing for the real thing.”

You bury your head in embarrassment, but go along with his suggestion.

“He makes me feel…nervous, but in a good way. Like when you’re about to go down a drop on a rollercoaster.”

“So, excited?”

“I guess so. My heart beats alarmingly fast around him. I don’t think it’s normal.”

Taeyong laughs. “It may not be normal but I think it’s a good thing. What else?”

“He’s handsome, intimidatingly so. I can’t stop staring at him sometimes, it’s almost like hypnosis.” You mutter. “And it’s also kind of annoying, like who gave him the right to look that good? It’s just not fair. And the fact that he knows it too pisses me off.”

“Okay I think I’m starting to see why you’re so confused about your feelings. Maybe avoid telling him that his face pisses you off if you’re trying to communicate better with him.” Taeyong chuckles. “But why don’t we focus on the positives? It’s a good thing that you think he’s handsome, no? And he surely feels the same way about you. Doesn’t it make you proud that you bagged the campus heartthrob?”

“He’s not just a pretty face, he’s also…really caring, and thoughtful. Somehow he always knows when I’m feeling down, and he finds a way to cheer me up, every time. Even when I’m being an absolute brat, he’ll still comfort me. I think that if my life was falling apart, he could hold me in his arms and everything would be okay. It’s strange, but I feel safe with him. I can tell him anything and he’ll never judge me. He always reassures me and tells me he’s proud of me. I want to share everything with him because I know he’ll support me no matter what.”

You pause, squeezing your legs a little tighter.

“He’s so complex. I thought I knew what kind of guy he was when we first met—a typical self absorbed jock—but he’s so much more. He’s playful and confident, but also introspective and sensitive. He understands a lot more than he leads on. He makes mistakes but isn’t ashamed to admit it, and he always tries his best to improve. But sometimes he’s too hard on himself, even though he’s wonderful just the way he is, and…”

You glance at your phone on the table. No new messages yet. Hyunjin hasn’t responded to your last text.

“And?” Taeyong urges you to continue.

“And I just like him, okay? A lot.”

Taeyong grins in amusement. “You sure you just like him? Because it seems to me like it’s more than that.”

You shift your head and stare at the ground. It is more than that. To say that you like him a lot is an understatement. The thought of him sets your heart fluttering and you think about him all the time. You could fill a whole conservatory with the amount of butterflies he gives you. Hyunjin is the only one who can get you as angry as he does, but he’s also the only one who can calm you down. Something about him makes you feel at home. You can be yourself when you’re with him, even if that means being a little ugly. He’ll still think you’re beautiful. You think he’s beautiful, and not just his looks. In the tender moments when he shares his thoughts with you, his true feelings—you think he’s the most beautiful person in the world.

“I love him.”

The words slip out before you can catch them and hearing them out loud brings heat to your cheeks.

Taeyong looks at you with a proud smile, crossing his arms and leaning back into his seat. “See? Now was that so hard?”

“Yeah, it really was.” You grumble.

“But the more you say it, the easier it’ll be!” He jeers.

You sigh. “I hope you’re right. I feel like I need to say it as soon as possible or else I’ll chicken out.”

Another glance at your phone reveals that Hyunjin still hasn’t responded. It’s been over fifteen minutes since your last message and you start to worry.

“He’s not answering me. I hope he’s okay.” You impatiently tap your fingers on the table.

“His friends are with them right? I’m sure he’s fine, probably just got distracted.” Taeyong reassures you.

“But he was messaging me a lot and then suddenly stopped.” You start to feel anxious. “And he’s been drinking, what if he’s in danger?”

“Y/N, just take a deep breath. Why don’t you call his friends and find out if they’re together? Would that help calm you down?”

Just as you reach for your phone, a message pops up on the screen. It’s from Nari.

—

Nari: hey yn, is hyunjin with you? Changbin just texted me to ask

Y/N: he isn’t with Changbin?

Nari: they were out together but bin can’t find him now

—

You slam your phone down and dart up from the table.

“I need to find Hyunjin. He needs me right now.”

“Woah, is everything okay? Did his friends text you?”

“They can’t find him. No one knows where he is.” You hastily leave the table and head to the door. “I need to find him.”

In a frantic rush, you grab a jacket and swing the door open, and there he was. Hyunjin stood right in front of you, looking just as shocked as you are to see him. His hair messily frames his cheeks which donned a light blush from the alcohol he’s been drinking and his jacket haphazardly droops off one shoulder. His mouth parts open at the sight of you, eyes lit up despite his disheveled appearance. You suck in a breath of surprise at the sight of him, before releasing a sigh of relief.

“Y/N…” He mumbles, not moving from his spot. “I’m sorry, I—just really needed to see you.”

Hyunjin slightly retracts from his position, hanging his head, a bit embarrassed for showing up unannounced.

“I should g—“

Before he finishes his sentence, you lunge into him, wrapping your arms around his torso. Your head is burrowed in his chest and you shut your eyes and hug him tighter.

He’s momentarily caught off guard by your embrace, stumbling backwards before enveloping you in his arms. You can hear his heartbeat as you both steady your breaths.

“Why didn’t you text me back, stupid?” You mutter into his chest.

“My phone died.” He sheepishly answers. “Did I worry you?”

You look up at him with an angry pout, but your eyes glitter with affection. Hyunjin melts at the sight, his heart swelling with adoration.

“I thought you were in trouble.” You grumble. “I was going to go find you.”

“I’m sorry.” He places a hand on your face, softly caressing your cheek with his thumb. “But you found me.”

“What are you doing here, Hyunjin?”

He pauses, studying your features closely before inhaling deeply. You feel his breath on your skin, soothing you from all the worry you had before.

“I needed to see you Y/N, I don’t know what else to say.”

“Why did you need to see me now, though? I told you I’d come over tomorrow.”

“Because…” Hyunjin purses his lips, trying to formulate an articulate answer before giving up with a sigh.

“Every moment I’m apart from you feels like a million years.” He shakes his head in anguish before resuming his gaze on your face. “It hurts when you’re not with me. My chest feels tight and empty at the same time. And I don’t know how to make it better except by being with you.”

You absorb his words, the weight in your own chest feeling lighter and lighter with each thing he says.

“You make me feel warm and secure and happy. And now that I know how it feels, I never want it to stop. I want to be with you always.”

Hyunjin’s words fall out like a bird learning how to fly. He stumbles in his speech, stuttering over syllables and huffing in frustration when he can’t find the right words. It’s disorganized and messy, but it’s raw. He’s speaking from his heart and you can feel it. You understand exactly what he’s saying because you feel the same way. Everything is going to be okay for you two. All you need to do is express how you feel about him. To finally reveal your true emotions and everything you’ve been dying to tell him.

He watches you intently after voicing his thoughts. Did he say too much? Hyunjin is afraid he might have overwhelmed you. But he’s glad he said it because the tightness in his chest has finally subsided. Eagerly, he awaits your response.

You take both your hands to cradle his face, and he melts into your touch, closing his eyes in contentment. This is all he needs, forever. Just to be in your arms and have you in his.

“Hyunjin, I—“

“Who’s at the door, Y/N?”

A foreign voice shatters his tranquility. And a pit reforms in his stomach. Hyunjin opens his eyes again.

“Who was that?” He tilts his head to peek through the doorway past your shoulder.

“Hyunjin, it’s no one. I was just talking out my feelings with a friend. My feelings for you.”

But he doesn’t hear what you say. At this moment, Hyunjin has a terrible feeling about who is in your apartment, and he needs to confirm his dreadful suspicions.

He loosens his grip around your waist and cranes his head further. When he meets eyes with the boy standing inside, he realizes that his fears were correct.

The tightness he feels has now multiplied to an unprecedented level. His heart drops to his stomach. He’s rendered speechless. The sharp pain in his chest freezes him in his spot.

You’ve been frantically voicing words to explain the situation but Hyunjin’s ears have gone numb. He can’t hear a thing.

He finally looks back to you, but his soft expression has changed. His eyes are wide, lips pressed tight. He’s breathing hard.

“You’re seriously with him right now?” Hyunjin’s voice quivers with hurt.

“We’re friends Hyunjin, I swear. He was actually helping me sort out my feelings for y—“

“I need to go.”

Hyunjin releases his grasp on you and swiftly leaves your doorstep. Tears prickle his eyes as he walks away.

You rush to follow after him, calling for him to stop, but he doesn’t listen. When you finally catch up, you reach for his hand, but as soon as he feels your touch, he retracts from you.

“Hyunjin, please don’t leave.” Tears start to form in your eyes as well.

He hears the trembling in your voice, and it breaks his heart even further. Hyunjin doesn’t want to leave, but the current situation was far too much for him. To see you with the guy who caused him to even be in this predicament, it was a dagger in his heart. Hyunjin’s hurt, to the core. And the longer he stays here, the deeper his mind will travel, pondering the scenes that took place before he got here, wondering if anything happened between you and Taeyong in your apartment, and formulating the worst scenarios imaginable.

“Hyunjin, please.” You beg once more.

He winces at the sound of your voice, but doesn’t turn around.

“I need some space.” Is all he says before picking up his speed again and leaving for good.

You’re utterly distressed to be left alone in the hallway of your apartment building. Should you chase after him? Should you force him to stay and listen? You contemplate what to do to fix this situation, but all you can do is watch in silence as he leaves.

a/n: sad hyune sad yn :( i promised drama and here it is 🤧 this scene is quite heartbreaking, but it’s also one of the first scenes I imagined which led to the creation of this whole series, so I hope you guys enjoyed reading it! please let me know what ya think~ we’re getting closer to the end and it makes me sad :( but I always love reading your comments 🫶 thanks to all who send me feedback!

Taglist: @mal-lunar-28 @ladylexis @vampcharxter @sisterofsomeone @whlfchnari @imasimplol @writersun @i2lain @astraystayyh @jiimout @hwajin @hyynee @rachabreathing @zoe8stay @abbiestearsricochet @ven-fic-recs @stay-down-kid @flowerbin131 @hyunverse @whatthefsposts @carousellights @dorisnumber1fan @hyunsungbased @manj1ro @straydhampir @jungkookies1002 @rindomo @iadorethemskz @silent-jill @feelikecinderella @vixensss @leeyanyanyaaan @broken-glowsticks @bmnyy @fawnpeaks @hyuneyeon @septicrebel @channiesstars @mimi-sierra04 @dreamstarsandskz @cheshireshiya @staurdvst @swissgoswish @ggundeuri @farfromsugafanfic @whats-my-question @bintificreads @iwaplant @yla-aira @midsoulz

taglist CLOSED!

🎤 thank you, next

social media smau | choi soobin x gender neutral reader

synopsis › in a universe where you and your soulmate swap bodies on your twenty-first birthday and every birthday after that. world renowned soloist soobin is set to have a concert on the day of your guys’ shared birthday, a firm believer he doesn’t have a soulmate and wants nothing to do with them. you, a college student who hasn’t listened to a single one of his songs, swap bodies with him on the day of your final exam and his big concert. you’re now under the public eye for ruining his career and soobin has to deal with your wrath since he failed your exams. he must also process the fact that he does in fact have a soulmate, one he couldn’t care less about.

genre › soulmate au, strangers to enemies to lovers, idol and college setting, crack and slight angst

warnings › swearing, alcohol consumption, ignore timestamps

status ongoing, no update schedule

taglist comment below to be added, asks will be ignored

playlist

NOW PLAYING!

featuring…

↳ yn and locals ⚘ soobin and friends

TRACK ONE: blow out the candles!

01. ticketmaster is evil

02. freaky friday dupe

03. pr team in shambles

04. his dick kinda big

05. go ahead and log out for me

06. tba

07. pls don’t yell at me i will cry

08. tba

tba

TRACK TWO: are we 4lyfers ?!

09. pass or fail

10. am i dying alone /srs

11. mom i’m famous

12. breathe if you want me

13. hide and seek

14. left on delivered

TRACK THREE: this song is about you!

15. this one’s for you babe

16. crowd surfing

tba

ENCORE!

Asking best friend!stray kids for their password

all characters depicted in my writing are from my own imagination and do NOT in any way represent nor reflect the people in real life :)

➩pairing: ot8 x gn!reader

➩genre(s): fake texts

➩warnings: swearing

➩author’s note: i’m sick and tired of paying for shit. i need a sugar daddy.

chris

minho

changbin

hyunjin

jisung

felix

seungmin

jeongin

ʚ hope you enjoyed ^.^ you can support me by liking, commenting and reblogging! it is heavily appreciated ᵕ̈ ɞ

i do not permit my work to be translated or reposted in any way, thank you.

© 2023 diddybok

g.taglist: @spacegirlstuff @chengmeiauau