IM NOT OK - Tumblr Posts

Guys I can't take this show anymore (I'm not even 3 season in yet)

The season 5 finale is definitely the most I've cried so far... Chuck's narration makes it even better at the end.

Brb going to go cry now because they canceled Dead Boy Detectives already and we aren't getting a season 2.

Not me sobbing into my pillow at 3am listening to Suga’s solo song translations and having to stop bcs my heart aches. Never thought rap songs could make me cry but here I am. Help.

,, 

army.zip

I read "Hades and Persephone" Modern Retellings Reviews from Goodreads... and now I understand perfectly people's desperation and suffering

Let's make one thing straight: I do not read Hades and Persephone books. I used to read Greek Mythology fanfictions, but because most of them either aren't well written or just become confusing or end up being unfinished I abandon them soon.

So I haven't read any published Hades x Persephone Modern Retellings and I do not plan to do that in the future. The reason for this is because:

1) I want retellings to respect the original source instead of completely changing it and represent the Greek Myths in a relatively accurate and respectful manner.

2) Not only that Hades and Persephone are pretty overrated, but you always see the exact same ideas recycled and reused again and again: Hades didn't actually kidnap Persephone, he is a daddy (or hot uncle, if you will) so she instantly fell in love with him and went with him on her own will, Demeter is a Helicopter Parent etc. etc.

But I finally got some courage and started to read the Goodreads One-Star Reviews on some famous HxP publisher retellings, because those are usually the most honest ones... Man, I don't even know what to say.

In case you're confused: the first five pictures are all screenshots of the same review. I really appreciate the passion and hate they put into it.

instead of you [part twenty] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 

warnings: swearing, angst, reader has emetophobia,

word count: 3k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!

series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi

As soon as the cable car reached the peak, Minho ushered you into the Men’s Room with your head buried in his shoulder so that no one could see you. He blocked the door with the trashcan once you were inside to prevent other people from coming in. Anyone else who had to use the bathroom would just have to hold it until they were back at the loading dock.

You were a goddamn wreck, and that was sugarcoating it. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying, your nose was running- you’d gotten some snot on Minho’s shirt, which would have mortified you way more if you weren’t having a meltdown, and you couldn’t catch your breath no matter how hard you tried.

Minho helped you up onto the counter and yanked a bunch of paper towels from the dispenser on the wall for you to blow your nose and wipe your eyes with.

“Thanks,” you murmured as you took them from him.

He slotted himself between your legs, eyes searching your face. He had this helpless look on his face and you just wanted to kiss it off, but that was what had gotten you here in the first place. It was clear that he didn’t really know what to say, and you didn’t blame him.

You, yourself, couldn’t pinpoint the reason you were crying. It was either your paralyzing fear of heights that had sent you spiraling a few minutes prior, or the fact that you were falling for your best friend’s brother and had kissed him… also a few minutes prior. The most likely answer was a combination of both, but you weren’t ready to come to that conclusion.

You let Minho dab at your cheeks with a paper towel, let him attempt damage control, even though you were far beyond repair.

“I’m such a horrible person,” you groaned.

“No, you’re not,” Minho assured you in a hushed tone, but even if he believed what he was saying you knew it was a lie.

In his mind, you had kissed your boyfriend’s brother twice now. Once had been his fault, you were both drunk, and even if you’d shittily played it off like you thought you were kissing Jisung, it was still Minho who had initiated it. The second time was on you. You were sober and you knew exactly what you were doing. But the reality was potentially worse. You’d kissed your best friend’s brother twice, when you were supposed to be pretending to be in love with him. You’d betrayed him, and if he ever found out you were afraid it’d ruin your friendship. And what made it worse, was that stupid list of rules you’d agreed upon on the plane before meeting his family. There was an entire clause dedicated to not flirting with Jisung’s brothers. You were pretty sure kissing went way past flirting, not to mention all of the other things you thought about doing to his brother.

“Yes, I am,” you insisted. “I kissed my boyfriend’s brother! Twice!”

“Technically, the first time was my fault.”

“But the second time- there shouldn’t have even been a second time.” Minho didn’t respond. “I’m the worst girlfriend ever!”

“You’re not the worst girlfriend ever. It’s not like we slept together.”

You gave him a look. “Well, I’m a pretty bad one.”

“I mean, I kissed you back. I’d say that makes me a pretty shitty brother.”

“We’re both awful people,” you seceded, sniffling. “Maybe we deserve each other.”

Minho’s upper lip twitched almost imperceptibly, but he shook his head.

“Are you going to tell Jisung?” he asked.

“Should I?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“I just- I know it’s wrong not to tell him, but I don’t want to hurt him.”

“I mean, you love him, right?”

“Yes.” You answered automatically, because for the millionth time, you did love Jisung. But not in the way Minho thought you did.

“And you don’t want to break up with him?”

“No, I don’t.” You stared at the ground, suddenly fascinated with the dirty grout between the tiles. “Do you think he’d forgive me if I told him?”

Minho didn’t respond right away and your heart sank. “Probably. Eventually. But I don’t think he’d forgive me.”

You felt your eyes well up with tears again. “B-but you’re his brother. He has to forgive you.”

“Jisung, uh,” he paused and you thought he might’ve been getting emotional too. “Jisung hasn’t had it very easy because of me. I know he’s always kind of felt like he was living in my shadow, that’s why he went abroad for uni. He’s completely unique, you know? Of course you know, you’re his- anyway. He’s got his own talents and ambitions, and so many achievements! But he feels they pale in comparison to mine. I think most of it comes from people who used to pretend to be his friend or use him to get to me. I know h- I know he resents me for it.”

You shook your head. “That’s not true.”

“Why do you think he never told you what I do for a living? Why do you think I’m always joking about him being upset with me?” You pursed your lips, unable to give him an answer. “Exactly. And you, I’ve never seen Jisung look at anyone like the way he looks at you. If he finds out I kissed you, more than once, if he finds out that I think-” he stopped short. “That’s just one more thing he thinks he’s lost to me. I don’t think he could forgive me for that.”

“He’d get over it eventually,” you tried.

“I don’t know if he would.”

You could tell Minho had been beating himself up over this for a while. Maybe you had more in common than you thought.

You weren’t sure if Jisung would forgive you either if you were being honest with yourself. You knew Minho was right on some level. Jisung had always been a little possessive of you, but it wasn’t until you met his brother that you understood why. You’d stabbed him in the back in spite of that, and yet part of you still wanted Minho.

You wanted to take him by the collar and kiss him again and again until you couldn’t think anymore. You wanted him to kiss you back, chasing your lips like he couldn’t get enough of you.

He was like the sun: blinding and brilliant and warm. If you lingered in his presence for too long you’d get burned.

“I have an idea,” Minho murmured finally after a painful silence. “You’re not going to like it.”

“What is it?”

“Maybe… tell Jisung after the trip is over? I know it’s asking a lot, but it’ll just make things less complicated.”

“I… don’t think I’m going to tell him,” you said quietly.

“Wait, really?”

You nodded. “I don’t want to ruin you and Ji’s relationship.” And selfishly, I don’t want to ruin me and Ji’s relationship.

“Are you sure?”

“I think so.” You sighed and pushed your hair out of your eyes. “I’m sorry for kissing you.

“It’s fine. Guess we’re even now.” He gave you a weak grin.

“Yeah, we’re even. Consider your IOU voided.”

“Do you still have the postcard?”

“It’s in my backpack back in Tokyo.”

His smile brightened and he opened his mouth to respond, but at the same time, the door to the bathroom rattled against the trash can as someone tried to get in.

“Sorry, man, it’s um, out of order,” Minho sputtered out in a panic as he walked over and pushed the door closed with more force. He held his hand to it for several seconds as the person on the other side continued wrestling with it.

You gave him an anxious look, but he just returned the look and shrugged. He seemed entirely too calm for someone who was about to be discovered in the men’s room with a woman that looked like she’d just been railed. You looked like a mess for a completely different reason, but you knew no one would believe you if you tried to explain yourself. And after being recognized once today it wouldn’t surprise you if it happened again. Minho was pretty famous. Getting caught fucking someone in a bathroom halfway across the world wasn’t a great look for a K-pop idol.

Maybe you should get down from off the counter. Sitting up there only made you look guiltier.

Minho didn’t let up until the knocking eventually stopped. He was stronger than you thought he’d be. He’d only used one hand to hold the door closed while the other person had seemingly thrown their whole body weight into it. He hadn’t even broken a sweat.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” he said casually and helped you hop down. “Your eyes are still pretty red, you should splash some cold water on your face.”

You followed his advice and turned on the faucet, cupping your hands underneath the running water and bringing them to your face. The chill was a shock to your system, grounding you in the moment and helping soothe the burning of your cheeks.

You straightened up and made eye contact with Minho in the mirror who had been standing behind you the entire time watching. He handed you another paper towel to dry off with. You thanked him silently and turned around, looking to him for his approval.

He gave you a once over, uncrossing his arms and reaching toward you hesitantly. “Can I?” he asked, eyes flitting to yours. You nodded and he brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes. “There.” His voice had dropped to a whisper and you found yourself staring at his lips again. He was a walking distraction. He didn’t even have to do anything to have you at a loss for words. “I think… we should probably keep our distance from each other. At least, for a little while.”

You did your best to ignore the pang in your chest as you nodded in agreement. He was right, and you knew that. The fact that he was the one to suggest it should be a relief to you, but it wasn’t.

“Okay, let’s go back down to the bus before they leave us here.”

Minho held your hand in the cable car on the way back down the mountain, but neither of you spoke. The bus was also silent. Minus the handholding.

There was only one more stop before the tour was finally over and you could collapse into bed and try to forget the entire thing. It was a bullet train that would take you back to Tokyo, but it was running a couple minutes behind so your tour group was ditched at the train station by the guides who left with the buses while you waited.

You were standing next to Minho on the platform when his mother pulled you aside suddenly, asking to speak with you for a moment. Your heart leapt into your throat as you followed her a couple paces away from the group. What could she possibly want to talk to you about? Did she know something? Was she going to confront you about how close you seemed to be with the son you weren’t dating? A million possibilities ran through your mind, but you honestly had no idea what to expect.

“Is everything okay?” you asked breathlessly.

“Oh, everything’s fine! I’m sorry if I worried you by asking for a word. I just wanted to let you know that I talked to Jisung earlier today and he mentioned your… aversion to stomach illnesses so Dom and I looked to see if there were any extra rooms available at the hotel and we’ve booked you your own for the next few days until we leave. Jisung can join you when he’s feeling better, but we didn’t want you to have to deal with that ickiness.”

“Oh my god, you didn’t have to do that!” you exclaimed, embarrassed that Jisung had told his mom about your stupid irrational fear.

“Well, you and Jisung were supposed to have your own room anyway, but someone,” she looked pointedly at her husband, “messed that up. We would’ve switched you both sooner, but nothing at the resort had opened up. It’s not a big deal, trust me, okay? We want you to get some good rest and I know you won’t be able to do that with the twins keeping you up all night. We know Minho will be fine with them, but you shouldn’t have to suffer through that.”

You clutched your hands to your heart. “That’s so thoughtful of you, thank you!”

“Of course! We just want you to be comfortable, love.”

You thanked her again, but she insisted that it was really nothing and let you get back to standing silently with Minho.

The train pulled up a few minutes later and everyone got their tickets stamped as they boarded and filed into their seats. You and Minho sat across from each other while his parents took the seats beside you- Dom next to Minho and Nikki next to you.

It had been a long day so no one was in much of a mood to talk, thankfully. You tried to nap, but you were still too on edge to relax. The events of the day had exhausted you, but not enough for your body to give in to sleep. It was like your brain was trying to protect you from letting your guard down.

Y: what did you say to your mom??

J: what do you mean

Y: she told me you talked to her about my “aversion” and now i have my own room??

J: oh yeah

J: you’re welcome ;)

Y: it’s EMBARRASSING

Y: they got me my own hotel room??? like? i don’t want them to spend extra money on me!!

J: technically they were already going to spend that money anyway but dad fucked up the reservations. they’re still saving money

Y: ig but still :(

J: look, i knew you wouldn’t get any sleep tn if you came back to our room. i still can’t keep much down and neither can felix. it’ll just stress you out- not to mention that you have a tendency to puke whenever you’re around people who are also sick

Y: …

J: you know i’m right

J: i didn’t want you to be miserable

Y: i know…

Y: thank you. i love you.

J: always :)

J: and make some use of that alone time ;)

You rolled your eyes and slipped your phone in your pocket. His idea might help you relieve some stress, but you knew you’d be out like a light as soon as your head hit your pillow.

Your new room was much smaller than the one you shared with the Han boys, but it was cozy. It was on a completely different floor, which made you feel a little lonely, but mostly you were relieved to have your own space. There wasn’t a kitchenette like there had been in the other one, which wouldn’t be a problem since you weren’t going to be doing any cooking, and a queen-size bed lay in the middle of the room. You almost cried when you saw it, thinking about how you’d get the whole thing to yourself for at least a night.

As tired as you were, you still took the time to shower the day off. You scrubbed yourself with the bar of hotel soap until your skin was raw and the bottom of the tub was full of suds. All of the sweat and grime was long gone, but you still felt dirty.

Eventually, you gave up and rinsed yourself off before wrapping one of those big white towels around you and calling it a night.

You went to sleep naked, not having bothered collecting a change of clothes from the boys’ room. You didn’t want to venture in there if you didn’t have to, and you’d just text Jisung in the morning to bring you something to wear anyway.

-

The morning came far too quickly. You felt like you had barely blinked and the sun had already risen. It was past nine, the Hans had let you sleep in a little, but only barely. There were still plans for today, and you had to be downstairs and ready for them in a little less than an hour. You weren’t sure if the twins were feeling up to tagging along today, but you hoped they would. You didn’t know how you were going to spend another day alone with Minho- especially now that you had agreed to keep a distance from each other.

You texted Jisung to ask him to bring up a change of clothes. His mom had left the second key to the room with him so that he could join you when he was feeling up to it so you told him that he could just let himself in and leave the clothes on the bed.

Instead of waiting around, you decided to be proactive. You pushed yourself out of bed, groaning at the stiffness of your muscles, and made your way into the bathroom to wash your face. You used the bar of hand soap sitting on the counter to lather up- against your better judgment- and then rinsed it off with cold water to wake yourself up.

As you dried off with a washcloth you heard the door to your hotel room open and close and you breathed a sigh of relief.

“Y/n?”

“In here!” you called back, not thinking twice about it. Jisung had seen you naked plenty of times, and even though you had told him to leave the clothes on the bed you figured he might just want to say hi or something.

The bathroom door slid open and you turned towards Jisung to ask how he was feeling, except it wasn’t Jisung standing there. It was Minho.

no taglist bc i'm feeling lazy sowwy... but lmk what you think i always appreciated feedback!!

if you want to be tagged in the future, add yourself to my taglist here!

I GASPED. I SCRUMPT. IM DRY HEAVING. IMG HVHEHEHDZRoaejfo

KA ILI WHATBRHE FUCK !!,! This made me drop my tablet holt fuck. I started hyperventilating and now I feel dizzy 😭😭😭😭😭

OMFG MINHOOOOOOOOO!!!, YONTHIS MAKES ME WANT TO PAY FOR UR KOFI OMFG I NEED TO GET PAID WTFFFFFFF

instead of you [part twenty-five] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 

warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of sex (mdni)

word count: 5.7k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!

series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi

Your cheeks were hot with embarrassment, but you nodded in understanding even though you didn’t want to have this conversation. You were ashamed enough already, you didn’t need to be reminded of what a shitty best friend you were. You wondered what Minho must think of you. How could he still be attracted to you when you were practically throwing yourself at your boyfriend’s brother? How could you be attracted to him when he was willing to fuck his brother’s girlfriend- well, almost fuck his brother’s girlfriend. Minho was clearly the better person here, because he was the one who’d stopped it from going any further. Not only that, but he was the single one here. Being a homewrecker wasn’t great, but at least he wasn’t the one cheating on his significant other. 

Of course, you weren’t actually cheating, but he didn’t know that. What you were doing was breaking a whole bunch of rules you’d agreed to with Jisung and going behind his back and breaking his trust-

“I won’t tell him if you won’t,” Minho suggested, putting your spiral on pause. 

You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest. “We can’t keep doing this.”

“I know.”

“I’m surprised you still…” you trailed off. What were you supposed to fill in the blank with? I’m surprised you still want to fuck me? Talk to me? Acknowledge my existence? You settled for “want to be around me” and left it at that. 

“Why?”

“You must think I’m a horrible person.”

“We’ve already been over this,” he pointed out. “If you’re a horrible person, I’m a horrible person.”

“Yeah, but, I just feel like it’s worse on my side.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know if I can explain it in a way you’ll understand.” You must have made a face because he was quick to backtrack. “Not in that way! Like, I don’t think you’re dumb or anything, it’s just that- god, I’m a fucking idiot. I don’t know how to explain-” he was fumbling, but you weren’t sure how to help. You weren’t sure if you wanted to help. “I thought that if we- if we, just once, then I’d get it out of my system, but I don’t think I can do that.”

You didn’t have any idea as to what he was talking about, but you had a feeling it wasn’t just about his brother anymore. “I thought you said this was about Jisung.”

His lip twitched, eyes widening in thinly veiled panic. “It is! That’s why-”

“What do you mean by ‘getting it out of your system’, then?” you pushed. 

Minho winced. “I don’t- uh, they’re probably wondering where we are by now.”

He was right, but you weren’t about to let him off the hook that easily. 

“Fine, but this isn’t over. We need to have this conversation.”

“I thought we were keeping our distance from each other,” he tried. 

“Yeah, and look where that fucking got us!” you hissed, leaning toward him. “We’re clearly not very good at avoiding each other so it’d be better to just talk about it, right?”

Minho didn’t look convinced, but he nodded anyway. “I guess. But not right now.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you huffed. 

You knew he could tell that you weren’t happy about the compromise, but you didn’t care. It was obvious that he was running away from confrontation, though you didn’t understand the reasoning behind it. Sure, it was going to be an awkward conversation to have, but you both already knew you were attracted to each other seeing as you had almost just fucked in the bathroom of a bar. It may have been more than just stupid hormones for you, but you weren’t about to tell him that. 

“You go back to join them,” you said, smoothing your dress. “I-I can’t see Jisung right now.” Minho nodded in understanding. “Tell them that you ran into me back here and that I’m going back to the room. Just make something up, but don’t say that I’m feeling sick or Jisung will want to come up to take care of me.”

“Okay,” he agreed. “I can do that.”

You both took another moment to freshen up, checking your reflections in the dim light. You wiped the smudged lipgloss from the corners of your mouth, not missing the way that Minho tucked his dick into the waistband of his slacks before heading for the door. 

“Wait, shit, I don’t have a key,” you muttered to yourself. “Jisung brought his for both of us.”

“Take mine,” Minho offered. He turned back around and reached into his pocket, fishing out the plastic card and handing it to you. 

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

You waited for a beat after Minho left the bathroom to follow, not wanting to get caught leaving together. Still, it felt like everyone knew. You felt like everyone was watching you as you made your way through the bar’s lobby to the elevators. 

You didn’t have time to dwell, too paranoid to even check if your suspicions were correct. 

The penthouse was thankfully empty when you returned. The main area was empty, at the very least. Nikki and Dom were either still out or had already gone to bed. Either way, you were relieved to be alone. You weren’t sure how long it would be until the boys got back so you took advantage of the solitude and jumped in the shower. 

It was nice not to have to worry about taking too long, or someone waiting to go after you. Sharing a bathroom with three men was more of a hassle than you had expected, but maybe that was because they were all high maintenance. 

You washed your hair and your body, but you didn’t focus too much on it. You knew there was no amount of scrubbing that could make the dirty feeling on your skin go away. It was ridiculous, how far you’d let this get. You didn’t know what was wrong with you, what had made you lose all sense of control and boundaries when you were around him. 

It was like you didn’t care about throwing your friendship with Jisung away, but you did. It made you sick to your stomach to think about the damage this might do to your relationship. You knew he’d be furious if he found out, and you knew he might never forgive you. So why couldn’t you stop?

The mirror was completely fogged up by the time you got out of the shower. You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but your fingers were all wrinkly, which told you it had been a hot minute. 

You hadn’t brought a change of clothes with you again so you were forced to retreat to your room in nothing but a towel. Minho, Jisung, and Felix were clustered in the hallway having a conversation because of course they were, and all three of them turned their attention to you when they heard the door to the bathroom open. 

“Sorry,” you squeaked, and scurried off to your room, but not before catching Minho’s eye and Jisung's smirk. 

Jisung was right behind you, leaving the two other boys in the hallway as he followed you into the bedroom. 

“Sorry,” you repeated to just him. “I didn’t know you guys were back already.”

“It’s okay. You always forget to bring your pajamas with you when you shower anyway.”

“I know! Why do I do that?”

He shrugged and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “You don’t like having to put your clothes on while you’re still in the bathroom because you’re all wet and the air is sticky.”

“Yeah, but I usually just suck it up when I’m with other people.”

“It’s not a big deal. I mean one of my brothers has already seen you naked.”

You scoffed, burying yourself in the task of pulling clean pajamas from your suitcase. “Please don’t remind me.”

“You missed a great Meg cover,” he said, taking your request to heart. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, they were a cute couple. They did that one song with SZA. You would’ve liked it.”

“Oh, bummer.”

Jisung laid back on the bed, training his eyes on the ceiling as you changed. It was a force of habit, something he still tended to do even though you had changed in front of each other and seen each other naked countless times. Honestly, it was an improvement from when he had used to fully turn away from you every time you started to strip, so you tried not to make too much fun of him for it. 

“Of course, no one beat our performance.”

“Of course not. We were naturals up there,” you agreed, jumping into bed next to him once you were dressed. 

“We hit every note. The track was off, not us.”

“The microphones warped our voices.”

“The speakers were broken.”

Jisung chuckled and propped himself up on his elbows. “Hey, we should probably have sex tonight.”

“Why, did one of your brothers say something?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” he assured you. “Just for consistency’s sake… unless you aren’t feeling up to it?”

“No, yeah, we can totally do it,” you answered quickly. Stupidly.

You zoned out while Jisung gave you a hickey on your neck, trying not to think about how Minho’s mouth had felt in that exact spot just a few hours ago. You moaned softer than you usually did, telling yourself that it was because you were sharing a space with Jisung’s parents, but you weren’t fooling anyone. 

You knew Minho would be able to hear you anyway, the walls had already proven to be awfully thin, and he’d see the hickey tomorrow regardless. There was no way around it. He’d know that you’d run to Jisung when you weren’t able to have him- except that wasn’t the case at all. But what would he think? Why did you care so much? 

You wished you could just tell him the truth, but then what would that solve? The whole reason you were on this stupid trip anyway was to convince Jisung’s family that he was in a relationship- Minho included. 

-

He managed to avoid you almost entirely the following day. You spent the afternoon with all of the Hans at The Bund, Shanghai’s most well-known attraction. It was a mile of skyline nestled against the Huangpu River with dozens of shops, museums, and galleries interspersed among the buildings. 

Jisung geeked out over the architecture, rambling about how there were over fifty-two styles of it present in the area. You listened intently, while his brothers pretended to fall asleep. You knew they were secretly interested, but they couldn’t let him know that. 

The day was warm, a bit uncomfortably hot if you stood in direct sunlight, but it was manageable in the shade. Dom bought everyone popsicles from a cart parked on the promenade to cool down. 

You shared with Jisung, trading your ice pops every few minutes. He’d gotten blue raspberry and you chose cherry, making both of your tongues turn purple. 

“This is how they invented the bisexual pride flag,” you said, licking a drop of juice from your hand. 

“You’re full of shit,” Jisung sighed and shook his head. 

“Fine, it wasn’t exactly like this. The inventor was at a party and they made out with a girl eating a blue popsicle and a boy eating a red one, and then when they saw that their mouth turned purple they had a eureka moment-”

“There isn’t even red on the bi flag!” your best friend pointed out. “It’s pink.”

“Fuck.”

“You forgot what your own flag looks like?”

“Would you have believed me if I said it was a pink popsicle?” you asked, ignoring his question. 

“No! It was a ridiculous story.”

“Damn.”

You stayed at The Bund until sunset, deciding to find a place to eat dinner when the sun kissed the horizon. 

You tried to enjoy the sights, but Minho was making it difficult. Every time you tried to corner him, get him alone to talk to him about the night before, he managed to change the subject or slip away. Most of the time, he’d just call one of the twins over to join your conversation, eliminating any chance you had of bringing up the incident. You wondered if the giant hickey on your neck had anything to do with it. It was clear that he hadn’t wanted to talk to you about it even before he thought you slept with his brother last night, but maybe that had made him even more hesitant. 

You eventually gave up trying to get him alone, not wanting to raise any red flags. Minho seemed to relax once he realized you’d laid off. He was much more conversational at dinner and even cracked a few jokes with his parents, who seemed oblivious to any tension. 

You didn’t even bother trying to talk to him the next morning. It was too early for that shit and you wanted to have a good time at the aquarium without worrying about your best friend’s brother. 

He said good morning to you in the kitchen as everyone was grabbing breakfast to go, but you ignored him. If he wanted to act immature, then you would too. It honestly seemed to be a better arrangement than whatever horny nonsense had been going on for the past few weeks. 

The aquarium was beautiful. This one in particular was known for its underwater tunnels with moving sidewalks. They stretched on for what felt like miles, taking you through all the different sea life enclosures. 

It was one of the more quiet activities, which you appreciated, and since it was so early it wasn’t too crowded either. The only time the silence was broken was when either you or Jisung would point out a funny-looking fish to one another. 

At first, Jisung had made jokes about spotting different kinds of fish that he’d cooked before, but that upset you so he stopped pretty much immediately. 

To your surprise, Minho pulled you aside in the aquarium gift shop. You were looking at shark stuffies while Jisung was over in the book aisle so you assumed that he was finally ready to talk about that night, but you were wrong. Instead, he grabbed one of the sharks off the shelf and pretended to look it over before turning to you and giving you a very serious look. 

“What?” you asked in annoyance, frustrated that you had to drag whatever it was out of him even now. 

“Do you still have the postcard?”

“The one you gave me in Italy?” you asked, cocking your head to the side. Minho nodded, rocking back on his heels awkwardly. “Yeah, why?”

“I… kind of need it back.”

You blinked, honestly taken aback at his sudden key change. “What? I thought you said I could keep it even after we called it even.”

“I know, I just- changed my mind.”

“Is this about Jisung, because he knew you gave me-”

“No, it isn’t about Jisung,” he cut you off and looked away as if he was paranoid about someone listening in on your conversation. “I don’t really want to get into it right now-”

“Okay, fine, whatever. I don’t have it here, though. It’s in my backpack back at the hotel so you can have it when we get back.” You folded your arms across your chest as you spoke, tone icy. 

Minho winced at your reaction. “I’m sorry, it’s just-”

“Don’t be. It’s whatever.”

Instinctively, you turned to search for Jisung, seeking comfort in his presence like you had done so many times before. You could see the top of his head over the aisles so you made your way over to him, abandoning Minho amongst the stuffies before he could respond. 

Jisung was still looking at books, seemingly trying to decide between a marine biology guide and a novel about a shipwreck based on the covers. He perked up when he felt you approach and turned around to face you, holding both of the books out. 

“Which one should I get?”

“I feel like I’m biased because I hate survival stories, and a survival story at sea sounds even worse.”

He sighed, turning the hardback over in his hand. “Yeah, you’re the hopeless romantic out of the two of us. Always reading love stories with the same tropes.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m hopeless,” you argued. “I found you, didn’t I?”

“I don’t think that’s a great point for your case.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up, you’re a great boyfriend.”

“Well, I’m glad you think so.”

“And for what it’s worth, I don’t only read romance.”

“Oh yeah, you also read a lot of smut.”

“Ji!”

“What? You do!”

“Yeah, but can you not advertise that so publicly?”

He laughed and nudged your shoulder playfully. “There’s no one around to hear.”

“If no one’s around, then why was I just hyping you up as a great boyfriend?”

“Because I am one.”

“You’re annoying, is what you are,” you huffed. 

“You say that, and yet continue to spend time with me.”

“Because I have no one else.”

He grinned at you before gazing down at your hands. “That’s cute. Are you going to get it?”

You looked down to see what he was talking about and realized you were holding a stuffed shark from the plushies section. You hadn’t even noticed that you brought it with you when you walked away from Minho. You’d been gripping it so hard that it was a little deflated and a couple of its felt teeth were turned inward. 

“Oh, um, I don’t know. Do you think I should?”

“Yeah,” Jisung answered with a shrug, “Why not?”

He grabbed it from you and placed it on top of the marine biology book in the crook of his elbow, sliding the novel back onto the shelf. 

“What are you doing?” you asked, following him through the store up to the register.

“Buying you the shark,” he said as if it should have been obvious.

“What, no! You don’t have to do that!” you protested. 

“Y/n, how many times have we been over this? I dragged you all the way across the world, the least I could do is buy you a stuffed shark.”

“You use that excuse with everything you buy for me!”

“Yeah, because it’s true. And as your boyfriend, it’s my job to do nice things for you. It’s literally, what, a hundred yuan? That’s like fifteen dollars.”

You knew you couldn’t argue with him about it in the store, seeing as the only valid point you could make was that he wasn’t actually your boyfriend.

“Fine,” you muttered. You could Venmo him for the stupid shark when you got back to the hotel. 

He smiled victoriously and placed both items on the counter for the cashier to scan. 

“What do you want to name it?”

“I don’t know. Do you have any ideas, since you’re the one buying it?”

He tilted his head back in thought, humming. “What about Shang? Because we’re in Shanghai? And Shang is also your favorite Disney prince.”

You bit your lip in embarrassment, suddenly wishing you had asked the question after purchasing the animal. Not only was his suggestion the most touristy thing you’d ever heard, but it was also exposing your crush on a fucking cartoon character in front of this stranger. 

“Well, they’re pronounced differently,” you pointed out quietly. 

“Yeah, you’d have to pick one and just know he represents both.”

You kept Shang tucked under your arm on the ride back to the hotel, letting Felix hold him when he asked how soft he was. It was a pain to hail a cab big enough for all six of you so Nikki made the executive decision to take two separate taxis. She and Dom would take the first, and then the four of you would squeeze into the next one. 

You sat squished in between the twins while Minho took the passenger seat. You were surprised that he remembered enough Mandarin from tours years ago to exchange pleasantries with the driver. The driver was impressed too and laughed heartily at something Minho said. 

“Butcher it that bad, huh?” Jisung joked, earning a glare from his older brother. 

“No, it was a joke. He was supposed to laugh.”

Jisung smirked and nodded like he was unconvinced. You almost scolded him for giving Minho a hard time, but then you remembered you were still mad at him so you held your tongue. 

“What’s for dinner?” you asked instead. 

“I don’t know,” Jisung replied. “We’re either going to try and find a place to get xiaolongbao or I’m gonna cook. Do you have a preference?”

“I am feeling a little tired, but I also have your food all the time. We should go out and get something while we’re here, right?”

“If that’s what you want to do, then absolutely.”

-

Once back, you set Shang at the head of your and Jisung’s bed, fluffing him gently so that he’d hopefully plump up again.

“It’s his bed now,” you’d announced to your best friend. 

“As it should be,” he agreed. “He is a benevolent ruler and reigns over his kingdom of the bedroom with a gentle hand.”

“How noble of him.”

Jisung nodded and yawned, stretching his arms over his head. “What do you want to do until dinner?” 

“How long do we have?”

“Few hours, probably.”

“Wanna check out the pool?”

“Yeah, I’ll ask Felix and Minho if they want to join us.”

“Actually,” you reached out to stop him, “can it just be the two of us?”

He seemed surprised by your request but was quick to reciprocate. “Sure, let’s go.”

-

Your hair was still wet by the time you were seated in the restaurant for dinner. You tried not to let it drip down the back of your chair, but that was proving to be difficult. Jisung’s hair had dried significantly more than yours had. It was damp, but only barely, and curling up at the ends. Each time he ran a hand through it, you’d be flicked with water droplets. 

“Was the pool any fun?” his mother asked, sipping from her cocktail glass.  

“It was nice,” Jisung answered for both of you. “It was really quiet because we were the only people there, but that was kind of a bonus.”

“Thanks for the invite,” Felix muttered, making you feel a little guilty for specifically not wanting them to join.

“I wanted to spend some time alone with my girlfriend, sue me!” Jisung shot back. 

You were thankful he didn’t throw you under the bus, even though you knew he wouldn’t anyway. 

“You get alone time with her every night, asshole,” his twin brother pointed out. 

Your hand shot up to your neck, suddenly feeling self-conscious about the hickey Jisung had given you the night before. Next to you, he clenched his jaw but didn’t say anything. Whether or not Felix had intended to make the innuendo was unclear, but knowing him it was easy to guess. 

“What should we order, Jisung?” Dom asked, expertly changing the subject like he had so many times before. 

You had noticed that anywhere you went, Jisung’s parents were always asking his opinion on what to eat. They assumed that because he was a culinary student he knew everything there was to know about food, and therefore knew what everyone would like. It was partly true, which was one of the reasons you always let him order for you. You were guilty of making the assumption too, but even though he acted annoyed by it you knew that he secretly liked being asked for his opinion. 

“We should get at least one order of the traditional xiaolongbao,” he suggested. “They’re pork dumplings full of soup, which is what Shanghai is famous for.”

“Sounds good, anything else?”

You tuned out as Jisung listed off a few other dishes to get, watching Minho out of the corner of your eye. He wasn’t paying attention either. He was scrolling on his phone, looking incredibly bored. 

You nearly scoffed. He could at least pretend to be interested in what Jisung was saying. You knew Jisung had done the same for him God knows how many times. 

You cleared your throat unsubtly, getting his attention immediately. Men were so easy. But you had also gotten everyone else’s attention, stopping the conversation altogether. 

“Yes, dear?” Jisung asked, leaning in your direction.

“Nothing, sorry,” you sputtered, still eyeing Minho. He held eye contact with you, eyebrows raised in question. “Swallowed wrong.”

Of course, you had to use the word swallow while staring down the guy you wanted to fuck. If he caught it, he didn’t show it. 

Jisung rubbed your back soothingly. “Oh, you alright, baby?”

“Fine, thanks.”

The conversation picked back up and you were able to fade into the background again. Minho contributed this time, presumably adding his thoughts on the food to the collective ordering process. 

“Does that sound good, baby?” Jisung’s voice snapped you out of your train of thought, and you realized you were still glaring at his brother. 

 “Hm? Oh, sure. You know I trust your judgment on food.”

“I know. Half the time we go out you don’t even open the menu.”

“I like to be surprised!”

He chuckled, the hand that was still on your back making familiar circular motions. “I know, I know. I just wanted to check to make sure there wasn’t anything in particular you wanted.”

“I’m ok. You’re very sweet, though.” You punctuated the statement with a kiss to his cheek. 

“I know.”

“Jesus Christ, I take it back.”

“Too late!”

“You’re impossible.”

“Thank you.”

-

After dinner, the Hans decided to attempt taking the metro back to the hotel rather than a cab. It took an hour longer because Felix misread the map and had all of you get on the wrong train at first, but eventually, you made it back to the square you all recognized and walked the rest of the way from there. 

Jisung jumped in the shower first, and you followed him, washing all of the chlorine from the pool out of your hair and off of your body. You remembered to bring your change of clothes with you this time and threw your wet hair up in your towel so that you wouldn’t drip everywhere as you had at the restaurant. 

Shang was sitting on Jisung’s lap when you joined him in the bedroom. He was absorbed in the book you’d lent him, highlighter balanced between his teeth as he jotted something down in the margins with a ballpoint pen. 

“Shang better not end up in your room instead of mine when we go home,” you warned. 

“Be prepared for him to go missing,” he mumbled. 

“I’ll just take him back!”

“You won’t be able to find him. And you’ll never be able to prove it was me.”

“We’ll see about that.”

You were about to crawl into bed next to him when Nikki calling for the boys stopped you. You weren’t included in the roll call, but Jisung dragged you out into the living room anyway to see what was going on. 

Felix had beat you there and was standing behind the couch where his parents were gathered around an iPad. 

“It’s your cousin!” Nikki exclaimed. “Come say hi!”

The twins rounded the sofa and sat on either side of their parents, leaning into the frame so that the boys on the other side of the screen could see them. 

“Jeongin, Yoon! How are you?”

“Good! It’s hot here!” the older one, presumably Jeongin, answered.

“Where’s’here’?” Felix asked. 

“Florida!” the younger one exclaimed. 

“We’re in the States for vacation,” Jeongin explained. “I dunno how you lived here for so long, Jisung.”

“To be fair, I was a little further north than you are, but yeah, summers are brutal. Oh, by the way, this is my girlfriend!”

You were still standing behind the couch, not wanting to encroach on their family discussion, but when Jisung mentioned you he motioned for you to bend down into the frame and introduce yourself. 

You waved, hoping he could see you. “Hi! Nice to meet you, I’m y/n.”

Jeongin shot you a polite hello before addressing Jisung again. “I honestly thought you were lying when you said you had a girlfriend.”

Felix burst out laughing from the other side of the couch. “I miss you guys. It’s not as fun to make fun of Ji without you. Minho’s been lacking!”

“Oi, at least I have a girlfriend,” Jisung butt in. “I reckon you four will be single for the rest of your lives.”

“I bet Jeongin’s found himself a summer crush,” Felix reasoned. “He’s always had the most game out of all of us.”

The youngest boy scoffed. “Yeah, okay. One of us is a famous K-pop dancer, but I’m definitely the one with the most game.”

“Talent doesn’t equal game,” Jisung added despite being roasted within an inch of his life seconds earlier. 

“Where is Minho?” Nikki asked the twins suddenly, looking around the room for her eldest son.

“He’s at the bar we went to the other night,” Felix answered. “The one on the roof.”

“Can one of you go grab him? He needs to say hello to the boys.”

“I can do it,” you volunteered automatically without thinking. You didn’t want either of the boys to give up time talking with Jeongin and Yoon, but you hadn’t considered that you would have to see Minho and be alone with him if you were going to take their place. 

“Are you sure?” Jisung asked. 

“Yeah, totally,” you replied, trying to control the shakiness in your voice. “You guys stay here. I’ll go get him.”

You kissed Jisung before you could change your mind as if the decision had been sealed by your lips. 

You ran back by your room to slip on some shoes and took your hair out of the towel it had been drying in, hanging it on one of the hangers in the bedroom closet. 

The bar was only a few floors above the one you were staying at, but you decided to take the elevator anyway, not wanting to get sweaty after having just showered. You tried convincing yourself that being alone with Minho would be no big deal, even after what happened last time you were at this bar. Maybe you would finally be able to have that conversation you had been trying to have with him. 

Doubtful. He’d been acting weird all day. Certainly, he’d find another reason to blow you off and you’d be right back where you started. 

As soon as the elevator dinged at the floor you were headed to your heart dropped into your stomach. You told yourself that the nerves were because of the height. It was a rooftop bar after all. But you had been perfectly fine the last time you were here, so you couldn’t even attribute your anxiety to that. No, you knew exactly what it was. You just didn’t want to admit it.    

Even though the bar was dark, it wasn’t hard to find Minho. The place was practically empty. He was seated on one of the plush velvet couches facing the windows, looking down at something that was in his hands. As you got closer, you recognized something beside him. It was a bag. More specifically-

“Is that my backpack?” you demanded, making him jump up in surprise. 

All of the nervous energy dissipated instantly, quickly replaced by anger and confusion. Minho clutched what he was holding to his chest. His eyes were wide with panic and his cheeks were already turning pink. 

“What the fuck, Minho?” you hissed, continuing when he didn’t say anything. “Care to explain yourself?”

Suddenly, the shocked expression on his face fell into one of… what you thought might be anger, only confusing you further. 

“I should be asking you the same thing,” he spat.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I know I shouldn’t have taken your stuff without asking-”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have.”

“Let me finish,” he grumbled. 

You rolled your eyes, honestly in disbelief that someone who was snooping through your things could have the audacity to be upset with you. 

“I just went to get the postcard I gave you.”

The postcard. You had forgotten that he asked for it back. Still, that didn’t give him any right to-

“You said it was in your backpack so once we got back to the hotel I was just going to grab it from your room. I didn’t want to have to ask you again since you were clearly upset about it, so I thought that I’d find it myself. That was all I was going to do, I swear, but you had a lot of things in your backpack that looked like postcards, and some of them mentioned me so… I took the bag with me so that I could look at them all later, after dinner. I didn’t know what I was looking at, at first…” he trailed off. 

A slight shift in his hands revealed what he was actually holding. Flashcards. The flashcards. Fuck. The room began to spin and you genuinely thought you might be sick. You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. You wanted to break one of the bar’s windows and leap out of it, even if it meant facing your greatest fear. But you couldn’t move. Your mind screamed at you to do something, say something to explain yourself, but you were frozen in place, unable to say a word, let alone string an entire sentence together.

“What are these, y/n?” he asked, taking a step toward you. 

It was a rhetorical question. He obviously knew what they were. “Dates, fun facts, stories about you and Jisung... either you have a really shitty memory, or you’re not actually dating my brother.” His tone was taunting, he was smirking, but the way he was looking at you, the way he clenched his jaw, told you that he wasn’t amused in the slightest. 

“I-”

“Are you really in love with Jisung?”

“I love Jisung,” you whispered quietly, desperately. You couldn’t even look Minho in the eye. 

“Are you in love with him?” he repeated. “Don’t fucking lie to me.”

You sucked in a breath, forcing yourself to meet Minho’s gaze. 

“No.”

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

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add yourself to my taglist here!

No Mitsuba in this month's chapter

Mitsuba's last appearance was in chapter 65 (I mean Mitsuba as a character not as a memory or some kind of illusion)

That's 30 chapters without Mitsuba

Chapter 65 was released in April 2020

That's 2 years and 6 months without Mitsuba!

Like where is my son? What happened to my son? How is my son? 😭😭😭

And the last thing i heard from him was THIS!

Look at his face my poor little baby💔

i need to be held tenderly by miguel as he whispers to me everything will be okay whilst gently playing with my hair

!VENT!

I'm not okay.

JZHZKAGgayanHSJgahqnaj*¿?!?!?!?¿¿¿????? akizKuabanakajajIAJAYQUQHQBAHQHA!!!!!

Earth/Terra ghoul appreciation and a little something for the Infestissuman anniversary

190811 JUNGKOOK IS JUST BEYOND BEAUTIFUL WITH HIS LONG HAIR

Cr twt  ACEtic_JK & Sequence JK &  blacknwhite_km & taco_gguk

SPOILER! OWL HOUSE SEASON 3

Ok.

I watched the first episode of the Owl House season 3 yesterday and I am not OK. I knew something was going to happen, someone was going to die, and when I realised Belos was in the Human Realm I knew it was coming.

And then FLAPJACK!

That made me sob so much. I'm glad they get to go back to the Boiling Isles and all, but that episode hit me like Amity's abomination.

Ok, that's that. I'm going to go curl up into a ball and cry until episode 2 comes out.

Im coping (poorly)

😭

April Fools Day

@millenniumchibo i lovs you /p

bible ig update

숀 (SHAUN), Jeff Satur - Steal The Show [Official M/V] (Jeffy cut)

Guys! I have a new favorite OTP!

My new fave OTP is. . .

Depression x Anxiety!!

They literally have me in their grasps!! :,D

(I’m semi ok, if anyone’s asking)

Anyways! I’m out! Have a wonderful, amazing, and hopefully not mentally ill day!! ♡ ´･ᴗ･ `♡