Just Thinking About Eddie, Thinking Maybe Hes Dying, Telling Buck That He Lied. He Remembers The Shooting.

Just thinking about Eddie, thinking maybe he’s dying, telling Buck that he lied. He remembers the shooting. He just couldn’t tell him that because telling him meant telling him how he felt during it - Scared but safe because Buck was there. Terrified that he was going to die and leave Chris but comforted by the fact that Chris would have Buck. Horrified at the blood on Buck’s face until he realized it was his own.

Telling Buck “I reached for you. I think I’m always reaching for you and you always manage to catch me. It’s okay that you couldn’t this time- I need you to know this isn’t on you. It’s not your fault. Just - please tell Chris - tell Chris I love him so much and I’m sorry. And Buck - I can’t die without -without you knowing. Knowing I love you. Just for who you are. ”

And then he passes out before he can hear Buck respond.

Only to wake up in the hospital an indeterminate amount of time later with Buck in the chair next to his bed.

“Saved me again.”

“I couldn’t have you dying without knowing I love you too.”

specially pls pls pls stop the use of this hideous shirt!!

re: buck's wardrobe: for season 8 i'd love to see some change in his style (although my fave outfit of his for season 7 was that brief glimpse in the locker room of the highwaisted brown trousers, black tee, and houndstooth jacket - i think it really suited him! a changeup from his usual stuff) but more than that i'd like to see a change in the way his clothes fit; no more too-short sleeves cutting off bicep circulation or struggling to hold buttons across his chest (and i get that this might be a wardrobe department issue, but still).

i want this new era of buck's to show in his clothing choices. it's not just that going forward he's an out-and-proud bisexual man and that that knowledge about himself affects the way he percieves himself (it would inspire a slight shift in style imho) it's that he's a guy in the most healthy, happy, stable relationship he's ever had - and i think that should influence the way he dresses, namely not feeling the need to wear shirts that are one size too small. he lets himself be comfortable at last - and that's not to say he doesn't dress nice or wear patterns or snug fits or anything, it just means that his style is no longer a performance of 'buck' because he's finally settling into being 'evan' (the version of evan he yearned for but which his relationships - namely parental and romantic, and the heteronormative and outdated but still influenctial views of masculinity in society - didn't let him be). for so long he's dressed like he has something to prove, and so i'd just love to see the shedding of that weight and stress show in what he chooses to wear and how he moves a more freely because he's finally allowing his body to breathe because he can finally breathe, y'know?

Here, have some sweet henren :)

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A happy/funny headcanon about Tommy Kinard:

The "I know a guy" thing? When the 118 start contacting the guys from Tommy's recommendations for different shenanigans, the one common factor they notice is that these guys are all attractive in ways that are very similar to Buck

Turns out Tommy knows these guys because he went on dates with them (some dates were more successful than others)

Buck is a little 👀 about them and tells Tommy like "so it seems you have a type" (leggy, strong, upbeat)

Tommy goes "honestly I didn't realize that until you told me"

(bonus: Buck pretends to be jealous and Tommy plays at letting him be a brat while proving that he is into Buck for himself and not because he fits Tommy's 'type')

Oooh Tommy, do you have a type?

Buck, slightly pouty, asking him: "So, what am I the guy for?"

And Tommy, his eyes full of love: "For the rest of my life?"

you know what's very sad? seeing this ship war... like why are you all taking this so seriously that there are actual fights about fictional characters? I know that this show or whichever can mean a lot to people and sometimes take all of their attention (it has happened to me and this one is no exception) but man... don't you get tired of being angry?... I'm just saying, ENJOY WHAT YOU LIKE WITHOUT SENDING HATE, really, what do you get from it?

anyway, peace guys, the world is already horrible as it is irl to also have it be violent in internet where you're supposed to be having fun....

have a disappointed Eddie to motivate your reflections