Literally Forgot To Post It Here But Heres The Lemon Father And His Lemonlings

literally forgot to post it here but here’s the lemon father and his lemonlings

Ok so I have a slightly weird question

I while back I remember you made a dsmp cursed lore masterlist and it was the best thing I've ever seen but I can't find it anymore? Would you happen to have it somewhere?

not weird at all! now... admittedly, I can’t find the post again myself BUT I sure as hell still have the original notes, so I’m just gonna copy paste it all here. It’s been updated since I first posted it even ❤️

canon things in dsmp:

- mpreg (x4) (tubbo, quackity, hbomb, ponk)

- quackity’s only had canon sex to our knowledge on purpled’s builds (the ufo and walmart parking lot)

- skeppy can’t read

- phil fucked a fridge

- wilbur fucked a salmon

- quackity gave birth to el rapids and schlatt is the father

- wilbur spent a month straight in the afterlife talking about hemorrhoids

- wilbur spent 9 years in the afterlife playing competitive solitaire

- fundy has three different birth stories, including: biological son of wilbur and a salmon, born asexually via wilbur’s toe, and died and was reborn like a pheonix as wilbur’s son

- God came down to build george a mcdonalds

- dream’s canonically a stripper

- sam and punz are also canonically strippers and have both given bad a lapdance

- karl and quackity constantly hit on badboyhalo, who is their fiance’s father

- related, quackity took bad on a fake date to practice for a real date

- dead wilbur has a fat ass from working out

- sapnap had a drug addiction and was called “cracknap” for a bit

- tubbo and ranboo married each other for tax exemption, when the tax never even applied to either of them to begin with

- sally the salmon was an accountant and her favorite color was brown

- it’s implied wilbur vored sally

- ranboo has no eyelids

- connor is the son of sonic the hedgehog and elise, from sonic 06

- gapples are a gateway drug and tubbo overdosed on them once

- jack and niki tried to assassinate someone with a nuke and missed

- bad is 9’6, skeppy is 2’2, ranboo is 8’5, puffy is 6’9, antfrost is 20’, and foolish is 23’3. dream, conversely, has no canon height

- eret was at one point involved in the karlnapity polycule

- the afterlife partially exists in the real living world that still-living people can stumble into, and it is a shitty gym that only has weights and doesn’t allow cardio

- schlatt, after dying, became a landlord/gym owner

- twitter and skype are canon

- eret has a nokia brick phone that somehow supports skype and can only hang up by throwing it into water

- techno has pet fish called betty. he doesn’t know why it’s called betty but just assumed it was lore important and kept it

- bad likes to steal blocks from ppl and store them in his enderchest

- quackity and puffy are both therapists

- muffin is canonically a slur

- “lemonberg” is a slur specifically in lmanberg

- the existence of dream, mexican dream, girl dream, and dreamXD where all are separate entities and mexican dream and girl dream dated before dream killed mexican dream

- schlatt was openly jerking off in the afterlife, likely in front of the other two dead people

- c!fundy is trans and c!punz has no canon gender and is referred to with both he and they pronouns

- the austin show, host of love or host, is canonically dead

- he’s also a literal cannon, apparently

- coconut2020 committed voter fraud

- there have been two different streams revolving around a character’s bath water. one of them is very lore important. in both of them someone drinks the bath water

- schlatt , wilbur, and fundy all smoke

- sam tried to steal foolish’s son

- charlie slimecicle got sent to space tied to a nuke (which has, sadly, seemingly been retconned)

- ghostbur and friend dated, but only in dutch. friend also is referred to with he/they pronouns

- puffy ended up adopting a child after a prank gone wrong

- bad and skeppy are literally soulmates, in that bad tied his soul to skeppy’s and he has infinite lives as long as skeppy is alive

- awesamdude also has a canonical fat ass

- quackity’s canonical fat ass is debated

- Schlatt’s last words were “flatty patty”, insulting quackity’s ass

- techno almost named his sword the coochie slayer bc he didn’t know what it meant

- fundy wore a suit colored in with crayons during the revolution. the reason it looked different from the others is because he didn’t have the expensive set with the right colors

- manhunts, smp earth, smp live, and mcm are all canon. the fundywastaken wedding is semi-canon, in that dream said it wasn’t but fundy said it was

- master oogway from kung fu panda is a major religious figure

- at one point, punz was turned into a chicken and had a baby

- the real spirit’s leather was used to make an item frame, the leather we see used as spirit is fake

- george and popular fortnite streamer ninja are married

- schlatt came to life once before, using his "matpat life", and died again

- schlatt’s body parts were sold at targay (gay target)

- jack once appointed himself king because no one else was on the server to stop him

- ghostbur has access to twitch.tv

- philza minecraft commits tax fraud

- karl’s real name is twitch.tv/karljacobs

- when techno isn’t streaming, he’s hibernating. phil sometimes pokes him with a stick to make sure he’s still alive

- tubbo is short for tuberculosis

- fundy learned how to astral project and walk on water and keeps finding new ways to fly

- foolish canonically spawned with a picture of buff dream

- trance music for racing game plays when dream thinks very hard on something

- fundy went to Australia to practice fire magic and hunt giant spiders, as well as going to Paris with wilbur when he was younger

- awesamdude got turned British by drinking tubbo’s bath water

- ranboo’s full name is ranboo my beloved

- ponk photosynthesizes

- The election was between “People Of Gaming” POG2020 and “Secretly We Are Gamers” SWAG2020

- puffy got her therapy degree from fiverr

- the warrior cats book series is confirmed to exist

- schlatt can’t swim

- awesamdude won miss America

- antfrost was high as shit the entire egg arc

me watching whole tumblr get flooded with the buckets of shit, pouring over Sam like 🤠 man he can’t do a thing without being hated upon

Do you think the people with horns, such as Bad, Puffy and Sapnap, polish them to make them look shiny?

omg definitely

I laughed

He! (annotated version under the cut)

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