All Of This^ I Only Started Watching The Show This Year And I Cant Even Begin To Imagine How Incredibly

All of this^ I only started watching the show this year and I can’t even begin to imagine how incredibly betrayed you must feel after watching it for 9 years but I feel exactly the same. Destiel gave me so much hope that maybe this true, unconditional love was possible, even for someone like me, someone weird who never experienced love, someone who never even had parents that loved each other. I stopped believing that love would even exist and NOT end in a sad way until I watched this show and now it feels like it all was just a joke. Like love is impossible. It will never end happily. Especially not for someone like me. I feel like I’m Cas, 100%. And it will always end with me sacrificing myself for a love that will never be fulfilled.

I can’t believe I wasted 9 years on a show. And in the end they practically rubbed it in my face that me as an lgbt person, don’t deserve love.

You probably think I’m being excessive. But it’s how I feel. It’s the show I watched for longest time. Every time someone offended it, saying it was a bad show, a crappy one, I defended it. I saw myself as dean, you know? He was always my favorite ( even tho in the last seasons I really just wanted to punch him the face. Even tho if I think about it a little bit, in those situations I would react exactly the same.) not only because I did a lot of the things that he did, or similar things but also... I don’t know. I thought the same way he did you know ? My personality was so similar to his. And also he always gave me bisexual vibes. Even if he wasn’t in canon actually bi. He just did. And that really made me happy. Because not only I was seeing this really bad boy, masculine dude who was actually a hero and listened to rock n roll and had a badass car, etc, etc but he, in my eyes was also bisexual you know? So that made me really happy, because when I was around 13 I started struggling with my own sexuality and identity so he was like a role model. Like, I wanted to be like him. Like this badass dude. And then Cas. I loved him. How weird he was. I always knew there was a thing between them. This chemistry, this tension. The eye fucking thing. The jokes. The queerbaiting basically. Made me want to have something like that (?). In my head they were in love. And if they could find love even if they were both so different and the world was almost always about to end. That meant that maybe I could too. That somebody one day would look at me and find me weird but not in a bad away, in a good away, like “you’re weird I like you”. And actually like me for who am I and respect me for who I am. I gotta admit in real life I always thought I couldn’t be loved but when I watched my favorite characters, specially the ones I saw myself has and they had that that I wanted, it gave me hope... it made me imagine that maybe, just maybe I would get that.

But I guess this ending really opened my eyes. Only pretty, straight, cis, not weird people get love. Maybe not real love (if that even exists) but some kind of love. And I’ll never get that. Because I’m none of the above

Did you all realize how Dean‘s sex drive seemed to have decreased over time? Almost like he used physical intimacy to replace the emotional connections he could never allow himself to have. And once Cas entered his life and really saw him, Cas who looked into his soul, who understood Dean’s deepest feelings without Dean ever having to talk about them, Dean didn’t feel that need for sexual intimacy as much anymore. He didn’t need to replace emotional connections anymore because he had Cas who truly knew and understood him and stayed with him anyways, because he loved who Dean truly was.

coda to 15x20, not because i liked it but because i hated it and it needed fixing. don’t mistake anything in here as justifying the choices made in the finale, i just needed to fix it up in order to write an actually happy ending

Dean doesn’t know how long he’s been driving - it feels simultaneously like ten minutes, ten hours, ten days. He’s not sure how time works in heaven.

Not sure how prayer works, either, or at least has forgotten since the last time he was here. Either way, it might be different now, with Jack in charge. Dean just has to hold on tight and pray and hope that just once more, he gets an answer.

He feels it before he lands and then Cas is there, in the corner of his eye, sitting in the shotgun seat.

Dean wants to pull over, pull Cas into his arms. Doesn’t. He’s got stuff he needs to say and it’s easier to get out like this, hands on the steering wheel and eyes on the road.

“So,” he says. “Got out of the empty?”

“Yes,” Cas answers and Dean can hear the smile on his lips, can picture it, tender and proud. “Jack has grown so much.”

Dean clears his throat, uncertain of how to continue. 

“I’m sorry you died,” Cas says as the silence grows too long.

“Yeah, me too. Sorry your big sacrifice was all for nothing.”

Cas puts his hand on Dean’s arm, tugging, and now Dean has to pull over. He’s not sure if cars can crash in heaven and he’s not eager to find out. He kills the engine and finally, reluctantly looks at Cas.

He looks… the same. Maybe a little more relaxed, a little less tense around the eyes. 

“It wasn’t for nothing,” Cas says. His hand is still on Dean’s arm, warm and heavy. “Dean, if you had died then who knows how things would have ended? Chuck might have won, Jack and Sam could be dead, and you wouldn’t have gotten the rest you deserve. It truly would all have been for nothing.”

His eyes soften, his grip relaxing. “Of course I wish it hadn’t come to you so soon. You had earned a long life, it shouldn’t have ended so quick. But I’m not sorry I saved you and I don’t regret what it cost me. And I don’t regret…” he takes a deep breath, for the first time looking hesitant. “I don’t regret telling you I loved you.”

Dean laughs. It’s weak, wavering. At some point he started crying, full-on weeping in a way he’d have been embarrassed to let anyone see before. He’s not embarrassed now.

“You’re kind of scooping my big speech here,” Dean admits. “I had a whole thing planned out.”

Cas looks him over. Dean has never seen this look on his face before, this mixture of fear and hope, and he hates and loves that he has this power. But he’s damn well not gonna misuse it, not anymore.

“You- you can’t just tell a guy you love him and then die on him without waiting for an answer.”

“I wasn’t aware you had an answer,” Cas says softly.

“Yeah, well.” Dean shrugs. “I didn’t really, not right then. But if I can’t nut up and tell the guy I’ve been in l-love with,” he blushes, ducking his eyes as he stumbles on the word, “for fucking years how I feel, even after we’re both dead, then when can I?”

He waits. Shoulder tense, stomach coiling, and how is it that even now, with everything on the table between them, he’s still so scared? 

He startles when Cas’ hand lands on his shoulder. Looks up, gaze catching Cas’, and his breath stutters at the wonder, at the overwhelming love and adoration in Cas’ eyes.

“Dean.” Cas raises his hand, brings it up to cup Dean’s cheek, and Dean leans into the touch without even meaning to.

Before he can lose his nerve, Dean leans in.

It’s like coming home.

READ THIS TO THE TUNE OF HALLELUJAH

Destiel - Hallelujah

[Verse 1]

I heard there were two Winchesters

Who hunted monsters, fought a war

When one of them got killed and went to hell (yeah)

It went like this: The angel Cas

Who gripped Dean tight and saved his ass

From perdition started questioning his god

[Verse 2]

He meant truly well but went too far

Became a god and started war

Dick dragged Cas and Dean to purgatory

There their love became so clear

But only Beandenny got back here

Cas was kidnapped and brainwashed by heaven

[Verse 3]

Brainwashed to kill his best friend Dean

But snapped out of it to save him

When his blue eyes met Dean’s green eyes he had to

He fell from heaven and lost his grace,

Kept fighting for some better days

He cared about all humans ’cause he loved one

[Verse 4]

Even demon Dean could never hurt his Cas

They’d die to save each other’s ass

But still think this is just a normal friendship

Hugs so tight and face-cradling-hands

It’s actually a great romance

Of a faithless man and his angel in a trenchcoat

[Verse 5]

No personal space but an adopted son

Dumbasses can’t see what’s going on

Think they can’t have the one thing that they want

Cas‘ love confession leaves Dean a mess

He gets him back and reciprocates:

You dumbass always had me... I love you Cas!

Hope you like this version!

(Feel free to add the hallelujah parts in between the verses)

Ever since 15x18 NOTHING made me cry as hard as this just did!! It’s almost 4 am and for the first time since spn ended I feel at peace. You really made this so real.. I feel like it actually was in the show. Now excuse me while I cry some more happy tears and lay my weary head to rest😭😭😭

Supernatural had the opportunity to do something great. To send a message of love and validation to a whole community. Not only to the part of the community that liked their show, but to all of us. But instead they decided to pander to the people, who never had to fight for their representation.

I support #TheySilencedYou, #TheySilencedThem and #TheyWillNeverSilenceUs and I'm in awe of all of you. Of your eloquence, passion, coordination and decisiveness. And I feel like your message goes beyond this particular TV show and the CW.

It's about protesting a pattern of disrespect towards otherness in Mainstream Media. It's about demanding meaningful, unmistakably queer representation, that enables discourse and furthers understanding in a heterogenic Audience. It's about asking Networks to not only hire diverse staff but to also give them the freedom to tell their stories the way they want to. It's about telling creators to own up to the inherent messages they leave us with in the end.

And that's inspiring and should be celebrated.

Stories matter.

supernatural is the impala and queer fans are dean winchester honestly it just doesn’t matter how many times the showrunners annihilate this damn car we’re gonna get down on our hands and knees to rebuild it over and over and over because sonofabitch NOBODY puts baby in a corner