Lucy Lawless Was Not A Particularly Burly Woman, But Somehow She Made Xena Seem Like A Fucking Tank And

Lucy Lawless was not a particularly burly woman, but somehow she made Xena seem like a fucking tank and I don’t understand how.

Me: It’s midnight, I should go to bed

Me: *reads an entire 40k fanfiction in one sitting*

Clock: 3 am

Me: *shocked pikachu noises*

Episode 13

Narrator voice: It was not fine. 4/10

What do you do when a Beautiful Boy offers to carry you on his own back? There are No Rules For This. Quick, Tell Him He’s Boring and Flee. 3/10

Lan Wangji is so Panicked that his face does Several Movements at once. 2/10

Lan Wangji effortlessly glides in to be Extremely Disapproving of Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao. How did he even Move like that? Carried in on a wave of Judgement. Let us all appreciate the Venom in those eyes, because Wen Chao certainly won’t bother to. 4/10

An all-out monster cave murder brawl with a bunch of armed soldiers is actually the most relaxing thing that has happened to him all day. 5.5/10

Lan Wangji cannot even begin to count the ways that Wei Wuxian holding Wen Chao hostage on top of a Mysterious Rock can go wrong. He is Stressed Out. 3/10

Everything has gone Very Wrong. Lan Wangji can’t even feel Vindicated about calling it. Mostly he’s just Suffering 1.5/10

Could there be anything Worse than Wei Wuxian Stealing his Headband? Lan Wangji Doesn’t Think So. 2/10

oh god oh no oh god 1/10

A brief respite, a little moment of relative peace. Wei Wuxian’s laugh and his smile are, of course, Totally Unrelated. 5/10

Lan Wangji doesn’t know how to handle this idiot. Wei Wuxian is a Mess. Lan Wangji is a Mess. He was Angry and now he is just Confused. Has he been putting out Hetero vibes this whole time? That doesn’t seem right. 3/10

The Untamed Photobook Translations [7/?]: An Analysis of Lan Wangji’s Fashion Style

Weapon: Bichen

Collars, sleeves, shoes, and pants are kept tightly, giving off a sense of chivalry and self-discipline.

The belt has comparatively fewer layers.

The middle clothes’ collar and sleeves, the belt, and the shoes etc. bear cirrus cloud patterns. 

Subtly embroidered on the coat are some patterns other than the family pattern, while embroidered on the inside of the coat are lines of mantra.

Material: Outfits are made of natural materials, like cotton, linen, silk, and other types of stiffer fabric. There are few ornamental trimmings, and they are often accompanied by simple but elegant wood accessories and jade ornaments. 

Colours: Mainly light colours, the cotton and linen are white, pale yellow, and blue, with the ratio in 6:3:1.

Inner clothes: The inner clothes consist of multiple layers of cotton, not only due to the chilly atmosphere in the mountains, but also showing a strict adherence to rules.

Middle clothes: A form-fitting short robe, this emphasises a sense of chivalry and displays his character of helping whenever there is chaos.

Outer clothes: An elegant and flowing long robe, this gives a divine and ethereal aura, while the trimmings reflect Taoist motifs.

Favourite animal: little white rabbits

His hair crown is designed according to elements from Wudang [1] buildings (e.g. the gate to the monastery).

The design of his forehead ribbon also includes cirrus cloud motifs.

[1] 武当 (wǔ dāng) is a school of martial arts in China, based in the Wudang Mountains in Hubei province and founded during the Song Dynasty (960-1279).

Set No. 1: Broad-Sleeved Long Robe

First Appearance: studying in cloud recesses

Material & Colour Combination: 

Overall white in colour, the outfit shows subtle hints of the pale blue middle clothes. While on the outside, he wears a broad-sleeved long coat, on the inside, he wears the standardised Lan family long robe with cirrus cloud patterns. The overall material of the outfit is soft, graceful, and elegant. There are no patterns on the lower half of the outfit and sleeves. 

His hair is parted at the side and he wears a small hair crown, emphasising a sense of youthfulness. As always, he also wears the iconic Lan family forehead ribbon

At his waist is a simple and clean white belt, adorned with a long tassel with a round jade pendant

Set No. 2: Bound-Sleeved, Form-Fitting Long Robe

First Appearance: descending the mountain to find the yintie

Material & Colour Combination: 

This is a mainly pale blue coloured outfit. The outer clothes have cirrus cloud patterns of the same colour, while below the outer clothes, the inner clothes have the colour ratio of two whites to one blue, creating a rich, simple, yet elegant layering effect. The flowing ribbons at the shoulder are designed to add a sense of elegance and gracefulness to the overall outfit, and also play an important role in the development of the plot. The white-coloured bound sleeves and the simple white waist belt complement one another, allowing ease of movement when fighting. 

His side-parted hair is changed to a middle part, giving off a more mature aura.

The high silver hair crown with Wudang motifs makes its first appearance and is worn above his forehead

Set No. 3: Pure White Broad-Sleeved Long Robe

First Appearance: Wen family lectures

Material & Colour Combination: 

A mainly pure white outfit, the material is evidently much thicker and heavier than before, matching the situation in which he is in. Over his clothes, he wears a half translucent folded outer coat.

Set No. 4: Broad-Sleeved Flying Shoulder Long Robe

First Appearance: finding a person at Qishan

Material & Colour Combination: 

A mainly pure white outfit, it also bears minimal pale blue cirrus cloud patterns. The flying shoulders, bixi [2], and other areas are also decorated with pale blue cirrus cloud patterns, giving off an aura of solemnity. The flying shoulders lend the outfit a heroic and valiant look and is neat and allows for agile movement at the same time, adding a sense of honour and grace when fighting.

[2] 蔽膝 (bì xī) refers to a part of the hanfu that is added on over the skirt, often appearing as a flap, that lies over and covers the upper legs to the knees.

[https://www.zhihu.com/question/68392113]

Set No. 5: Bound-Sleeved, Form-Fitting Blue Robe

First Appearance: Phoenix Mountain Hunt

Material & Colour Combination: 

An overall light blue outfit, it is accompanied by pure white bracers. The middle clothes use a material that is comparatively stronger in lustre for the first time, which accentuates the elegant and flowing texture of the outer clothes. A white cirrus cloud pattern serves as a decoration before the chest, and on the whole, the style is slightly neater, more agile, and more reserved, yet at the same time, bearing a natural air of nobility.

Middle clothes use a material that is comparatively stronger in lustre for the first time

The waist sash is a lake blue colour that is deeper than the rest of the outfit

Set No. 6: Bound-Sleeved Long Robe with Vest-Style Thin Unlined Outer Coat

First Appearance: battle at Nightless City

Material & Colour Combination:

This outfit is mainly white. The middle clothes are pale blue and on the collar is an intricate cirrus cloud pattern, matching the white bracers. The outer coat is a graceful and floating long-style vest with a pale chequered pattern. The material is extremely thin, emphasising his cool and aloof, immortal-like aura when fighting.

Set No. 7: Pure White Broad-Sleeved Long Robe

First Appearance: meeting again after 16 years

Material & Colour Combination: 

This is the set of clothes he wears for a longer period of time in the second half of the show after the time jump. An overall white outfit, the sense of layering and weightage of the clothes is, in comparison to his first appearance sixteen years earlier, much grander and more solemn. The inner clothes are embellished with intricate cirrus cloud embroidery, while the outer clothes have folded patterns. The two plackets at the sides are embellished with precious gems, accentuating the calm aura that is often associated with the image of “Hanguang-jun”.

His hairstyle is changed to a side parting, and he wears an even higher hair accessory with a hollow in the centre. The hair accessory from sixteen years before is now worn at the back of his head. At this same period, one of the Lan family hairstyles that does not make use of hair crowns also appears, where loose hair is combed up at the back of the head 

The two plackets at the sides are embellished with precious gems

Set No. 8: Light and Graceful Broad-Sleeved Long Robe

First Appearance: returning to Lotus Pier together with Wei Wuxian

Material & Colour Combination: 

An overall white coloured outfit, the inner coat is made of a fine meshed material. The inner clothes and middle clothes are of overlapping blue and grey layers, creating a rich sense of layering. The outer coat is patterned with horizontally striped folds, and the lower half of the outfit has even more folds, creating a light and graceful aura and accentuating a clean and elegant feeling.

Set No. 9: Broad-Sleeved Long Robe that Touches the Ground

First Appearance: after becoming the head cultivator

Material & Colour Combination: 

The grandest set of clothes in the entire show, this outfit is in alternating blue and white, and is worn by Lan Wangji after he takes on the mantle of head cultivator. The pale blue robe coordinates with the same coloured cirrus cloud patterns on the waist sash. The outer coat is made of a material with small cut outs, revealing the colour of the inner clothes. Adorned at the two front sides of the robe are two long, lake blue strings of pearls with tassels, creating a magnificent and grand, yet still low profile and restrained look.

Adorned at the two front sides of the robe are two long, lake blue strings of pearls with tassels

[Part 1 Yunmeng Jiang] [Part 2 Gusu Lan] [Part 3 Qishan Wen] [Part 4 Qinghe Nie] [Part 5 Lanling Jin] [Part 6 WWX Outfits]

James Buchanan Barnes