OMG. So I Was Walking Back To My Apartment And I Heard Some Footsteps And I Turned Around And There Was

OMG. So I was walking back to my apartment and I heard some footsteps and I turned around and there was this guy running straight for me. I started panicking thinking he wanted to wear my skin as a dress. He gets closer and sees me, looking startled. And then he goes, “OMG I DIDN’T SEE YOU I’M SO SORRY. I WAS RUNNING BECAUSE I’M SCARED OF THE DARK.”

The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.”

Terry Pratchett (via mellodear)

Y’all little writers go on and have fun now

i need more femslash aus

fake dating my best friend to have someone to vent to on family gatherings. meanwhile pissing off my conservative uncle i never liked anyway and then pretending to date even though noone is around AU

my new neighbor is smoking hot and i didn’t even like women until now and she has a garden and plants flowers in her bikini and i am dying inside AU

the obligatory coffee shop story in which i buy my hot chocolate with cinnamon whenever i feel bad and the cute barista starts drawing little pictures on my cup to make me smile and it always works so i come on days when i don’t actually feel sad AU

excuse you you are sitting on my seat in this lecture and who are you anyway i never saw you before hey wtf are you checking me out? AU

body swap with height difference and lots of awkward ensuing clumsyness AU

we are the only two girls left after all the partnering-up stuff in this heteronormative dancing lesson so let’s dance together i didn’t like any of the guys anyway AU

can i sit with you during this trainride bc the guy over there is giving me the creeps and oh my god are you reading a song of ice and fire? AU

you found me drunk and crying in a bathroom bc my ex dumped me and then you brought me to a taxi and insisted to give me your number so you’d know that i got home safe and then we start texting a lot AU

we bump into each other in the supermarket every friday and we always buy the same ice cream maybe we should eat some ice cream together AU

my mother brought her new partner home and i am slightly pissed off for no reason and then it turns out her partner has a daughter my age and i’ll probably hate her but then we team up to rant about our horribly lovey-dovey parents and it’s delightful bc you are so full of rage AU

i went to a museum to get some inspiration to draw and then i saw you staring at one of the paintings in awe so i drew you and then you saw my picture and i am dying of embarassment AU

List of Immortal AUs

obligatory ‘i’m a vampire who just woke up from a 1000 year nap to find my long lost loved one reincarnated as you’ AU

‘i’m a ghost haunting the antique you just bought, hope you’ve got room for one more in your house’ AU

‘i’m a vampire and i refuse to turn my dearest love because i don’t want to condemn them to a cursed life like this’ AU

‘we’re dating and you’re writing a book on vampires and no that’s not right, no vampires don’t do that, stop writing inaccurate things’ AU

‘i’m an immortal from the 1600s and you’ve been around since B.C. does this count as age difference?’ AU

‘we’re a feisty immortal couple who enjoy killing each other for fun because we know we’ll just come back alive again in 2 minutes’ AU

‘i’ve been looking for love for a thousand years and at long last, i’ve found you except you’ve fallen for someone else’ AU

‘I didn’t know you were immortal until you carried me out of a horrible car crash and you were completely unscathed’ AU

alternative bedsharing fics

obviously the situation demands this and we can deal with it maturely because we’re adults

please don’t sleep in your underwear, you’re making this way weirder than it has to be

I didn’t know you snored until a half hour ago but i’m staring at the ceiling fighting the urge to kick you

would you please get comfortable and go the fuck to sleep already

how many times do you get up to pee in the middle of the night, I think you should see a doctor about that

you took all the blankets, I gave up and got another one

ask me again if pigeons have feelings, I dare you