I'm Sitting On The Train

I'm sitting on the train

I can give nothing but myself, and I cannot be anything but myself. That's why I can't, I don't want to and I won't live up to anyone's expectations. In return, I do not want and do not expect anything from anyone. Friendship and love either come naturally or not at all. Anyone who tries to extort them from others by all kinds of methods and practices is deluding himself and will be disappointed, inevitably.

I've been sleeping a lot again lately. I've always been a sleeper, I can sleep most of the day if I feel like it… It's as if I want to return to the era of eternal dreaming, from which a transcendent experience brought me back in the spring. Just dreaming life, it's so peaceful… It's so happy… It's so beautiful… Maybe it's even more real than being awake? When you wake up, the compulsion to struggle is always there. That nothing is the way you want it to be, and no matter how hard you struggle, it never will be. I don't want to struggle. Life always comes with compromises, and I'm incapable of that. Life is full of trashy pettiness, meanness and scoundrels. Yet it is our duty to bring pleasure, beauty and happiness into the world in order to offset them. The experience in the spring that brought me back to life, and which was so shocking that I cried every day for months, did not happen by chance, but because of it. It's no coincidence that I'm transgender, because it has something to do with all of this. It's like some kind of spiritual path of realization.

Retro (November 2015)

Do you believe in love at first sight? Because I do now, do you have a current picture of yourself..I'm Edward 59years old from Santa rosa California and I've been looking for you all my life, I believe you are my soulmate

All true love happens at first sight. Then there are some that will pass and some that will never pass. I'm Georgina, from Hungary, Europe.