If Any Of Yall Didnt Know, Theres A Free Online Library, Aka

If any of y’all didn’t know, there’s a free online library, aka

https://openlibrary.org/

and I found like, twelve ebooks I’ve been wanting to read on there, and blasted through like three of them during the course of a boring-ass shift.

and its free

Got stoned listening to French music. Unfortunately I got so high I forgot that I had French music on and just though I was so high I couldn’t understand English anymore. Whoops

Scrolling on clothing apps is always wild because your options are always:

1. Here’s a shirt that covers your nipples and nothing else. I hope you like shorts that are the size of underwear. Fuck modesty show the world your entire titty. Who ever said clothing should cover you up. You want a skirt that you can’t bend over in without flashing everyone? Say no more we have 40. Time is fading and your youth is too so here’s a skintight dress that leaves nothing to the imagination. Go wild.

Or

2. The biggest ugliest shirt you’ve ever seen. Completely unflattering t-shirts so no one can guess what your figure is like. Don’t you dare let the world see your body you slut. Cover every inch of your skin and look like shit doing it. Your body is disgusting and you know it so wear this dress that looks like a tarp. That skirt better not go above your knees Jesus is watching you. A plain black hoodie cause we know you look like shit in anything else.

And there’s no in between.

Jenny Slate, Stage Fright (2019)

Me: No I’m not into calling anyone daddy and quite frankly I think it’s a bit gross

Me after watching Bo Burnham call himself daddy in his new comedy special: Aw fuck