Girl Idk About Characters Buttt I Do Know Some Good Dynamics!! Also This Sounds Super Cool I'm So Excited

Girl idk about characters buttt I do know some good dynamics!! Also this sounds super cool I'm so excited to read them!! Okay so

Ex pro surfer x reader (or the opposite)

Ex pro surfer x coach reader (or the opposite)

Surfer x swimmer reader (or the opposite)

Lifeguard x surfer reader (or the opposite)

Beach cop x surfer reader (or the opposite)

Scuba diver instructor x surfer/trainee/diver reader (or the opposite)

Surfer x Dog walker (idek lol) reader (or the opposite)

Surfer/Instructor x beach cleanup reader (or the opposite)

That's it for the quick thought though Im sure there's more lol. Don't feel pressured to do any of these btw, just ideas in case you needed any :) hope this helped! Also if you do taglists (it's fine if not) could you include me on your stories you said in the post? It's totally fine if not! Thanks for reading, I'm super excited to read ur stories!!! Woooo

Also your name is really pretty! My uncle-in-law is Hawaiian and his name is Makoa which I think is pretty cool!! Good luck!

okay, guys. the next thing i’m going to post is gonna be the start of a surfer!jjk x reader series i want to do. cause if you don’t know, i am nothing if not an island girl (i mean, my name is literally lili’uokalani and if that doesn’t scream ‘hawaiian’ i don’t know what does) and surfing and anything to do with the ocean is my entire life, so i’m pretty excited for it. here’s what i have brainstormed so far ::

surf instructor!sukuna x instructee!reader

instructee!gojo x surf instructor!reader

surfer boy!yuji x surfer girl!reader

instructee!nobara x surf instructor!reader

i know it’s a lot of instructor x instructee, but so far that’s the only dynamic i can really think of. SO !! if you have any more characters, or dynamic ideas that you’d want to see or think would be cool for me to add LET ME KNOW !! cause i really really want to write this and i would love to have input from the people who are hopefully going to be reading it

I love this ending. Thanks author:)

Everything I Wanted 2/2 (F!Reader x Todoroki)

soulmate Au! Where your soulmate tattoo appears on your wrist after you touch your soulmate for the first time.

F!reader x Todoroki

F!Reader x Bakugou (brotp)

Plot: the reader is Todoroki’s soulmate. Todoroki rejected reader because he thought he was in love with Momo and didn’t want to let fate dictate his life. Now the two of them have a conversation that was long over due.

Part one

Before getting on with the story I want to give a huge thanks to everyone who reblogged and liked part one, it means the world to me that there is people out there who enjoyed my writing, and a big thank you to @dillybuggg and to @power-house-fan12 for encouraging me to write another part sending so much love to you guys!!! 💗💗💗

“Someday?”

“Someday.”

"Todoroki-san, I met my soulmate."

"oh."

" I think we should come clean to our classmates, i really want to see where this goes"

Todoroki couldn’t blame her. They were foolish to think their puppy love could stand strong against fate.

Todoroki and Momo had been walking on eggshells around each other during their first year at UA. They were attracted to each other even though they weren’t each other’s destined partner. Trust them they checked, they had been so hopeful only for it to crumble when their left wrists were still void of black Ink even after they had their first kiss.

They had been laying low with their blossoming relationship until the fateful day Shoto and (y/n) first touched.

Shoto didn’t know what to think of (l/n). She didn’t stand out as a person or a hero in training, so when they were paired up on a project there seemed to be a never ending silence between them, with his lack of social skills and her lack of- well everything they didn’t even know where to begin. After a couple of awkward questions about what they wanted to do, they were able to get started, and he thought then that (l/n) wasn’t so bad, but when he dropped his pencil and they both reached for it, that’s when it all went south. He remembers the stinging feeling he felt on his wrist and couldn’t help flinching at the uncomfortable sensation.

He didn’t need to look at his wrists to know what had happened and he didn’t need to think twice before grabbing his things and giving a quiet excuse for his sudden need to be very far away from (l/n).

It wasn’t until he was locked away safely in his room that he dared look at his wrist, and there it was in bold black ink, in a surprisingly illegible yet legible font, how does someone achieve that? ‘(Y/n) (l/n)’.

He’s not quite sure how long he stared at it, but he knows that by the time he was able to organize his thoughts there were birds chirping out side welcoming the new day.

He had rejected her.

She had been okay with it.

He didn’t tell Momo who his soulmate was, but he did tell her that he didn’t want to continue hiding their relationship. What was stopping them from sharing their happiness with the rest of the class? Momo believed they would be looked down on for not waiting on their soulmates. It wasn’t common for people to date anyone who wasn’t their soulmate, it was even more uncommon to reject a soulmate, but look at him, he did it and he was perfectly fine- they were perfectly fine.

Momo was the one who came up with the idea to draw on their soulmate tattoos, unaware of the fact that there already was a name on Todoroki’s wrist, unaware of the pain she was causing to that other half.

Coming clean to their classmates had gone surprisingly well, and Todoroki wasn’t sure how he felt about that, about that fact that (y/n) didn’t yell or question him on the why.

Why had he lied?

Why had he covered her up like she was something not worth looking at?

Why did he rub his relationship in her face?

Why not give them a chance if he was gonna chase something temporary?

Instead she had looked him in the eyes and gifted him a soft smile.

After everyone had scattered around the common area after their announcement, Todoroki decided to sit outside and take a breather.

He couldn’t help but sigh.

Thinking back to the day he and (y/n) first touched, he wished he hadn’t been such a coward.

He wished he had given her a chance to speak, because looking back now he realized that he did all the talking, he called all the shots not giving her a say in the matter.

She followed his wishes and yet he can’t help but want to be selfish and take it all back.

He had been wrong to think she had been lacking anything because she was everything. She was perfect to him, for him.

He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him.

Fate had told him she was his, a gift from the universe to cherish and like a spoiled brat he threw it away, ruined it. ‘Seems to run in the family’, he thought bitterly.

(Y/n) (L/n) was everything he wanted and he didn’t deserve her.

The worst part was that the person who helped him realize that was the hotheaded blonde of 1-A (now 2-A).

He was the one who brought out the best in (y/n) or maybe the only one who had bothered to listen, who had bothered to truly see her.

Todoroki couldn’t help but resent him for it yet he was grateful, because without Bakugou pushing her to open up, he would have never realized that he had shut the door on something beautiful without opening it.

“Why are you out here? Curfew is in 20 minutes” he heard her soft voice.

He didn’t reply and he felt her sit beside him on the stairs.

And there was silence.

What could he possibly say now?

Im sorry? That seemed too shallow

“It’s okay you know?” She began.

He finally listened.

“I’ll be honest, it had hurt- you had hurt me when you shut me out without giving me a chance to prove myself worthy of being on your wrist. I questioned if it had been something I did, something I didn’t do, or if it had been my appearance that had caused you to utter those words. Bakugou told me that it shouldn’t be something I beat myself over, that if it had been me that you would have told me, but you didn’t. You just told me that your heart belonged to another”

She stopped and finally looked at him, and he at her.

“ Im sorry things between you two didn’t work out how you wanted them to-” she had began, but he didn’t let her finish.

“Don’t. It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I thought I knew what I wanted and if I’m being honest I think I just wanted to be able to choose at least one thing for myself.” He said without thinking, it was time he stopped hiding from the truth, the selfish truth he hid under his not so pure love for Momo.

“Ever since I was born I have been nothing but a tool for my father. The just right child with the just right quirk. I wasn’t allowed to spend time with my siblings, I wasn’t allowed to play, I wasn’t allowed to make my own decision. It was always my father, and then I found out I wasn’t able to choose who I wanted to be with because apparently fate did that, so I would question what it is that I got to decide for myself

because if fate and my father made the decisions then what was I left with? What part of my life was actually mines for the taking?” He looked at the ground unable to continue meeting her eyes.

“So even if it’s not enough I do apologize, (y/n), for thinking so selfishly that I didn’t take into consideration the fact that you didn’t choose me either and that I didn’t try to make it easier for the both of us” he said clenching his fist to keep some sort of anchor on his mess of emotions.

Todoroki felt a small hand (or at least smaller that his own) lay on top of his own.

“Maybe we’ve both been going about this the wrong way? So what if we have each other’s name on our wrist? that doesn’t mean we should get married next week” (y/n) said in an attempt to lighten his load, to let him know that he didn’t need to beat himself over it just like she didn’t need to.

“ let’s just start as friends and see how things go and then maybe someday who knows” she shrugged her shoulders casually and flashed him a smile.

Todoroki looked at her and she at him.

He relaxed his hand that was underneath her and let himself hold her hand.

“Someday?” He asked

“Someday” she grinned.

(Y/n) cleared her throat and held her hand out for a handshake making him raise an eyebrow

“Hi my name is (y/n) (l/n) let’s be friends”

“I’m Shoto Todoroki, and I would like that very much”

“ I’m Aizawa, the teacher and you two need to get to bed”

“Yes sir!”

“not all men”

you’re fucking right, lawliet wouldn’t treat me like this.

This author is such a dangerous writer because they can make people feel thing fr. I was so enveloped in their story that my eyes swelled up 😭 Although sakuna is slightly out of the ordinary towards the middle, for all any of us know that's how he acts when he's in love. Because we've never ever ever seen him in love lol. Thank you so much for writing this!! My favorite part is when she gives him the rotten tomatoes 😭😭 and then later on as he's falling on his knees to see her better and so she can see him without having to look up- perfection omg. Thank you again! I hope to become as good of a writer eventually-

𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘪 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘮

summary: you see him a handful of times down by the river, washing off the bloodstains from his clothing and hands. you wonder to yourself how he could look so human in such a monstrous act. once he sees you he can’t get you rid of his mind.

paring: sukuna x f!reader

genre: angst, soft love, little bits of fluff, angst with no happy ending

warnings: blood, gruesome death, talks of sex and taking virginity, character death

word count: 7k+

jjk masterlist

—

—

“Do you intend on staring the entire time?”

The hair on your neck rose, your breath catching in your throat as you hear him call out.

Surely he couldn’t have seen you. You had tried to hide decently well into the background of the forest.

“Your act of concealment is rather pitiful, you know.” His voice disparaged you once more, and from the sliver of opening the bushes allowed you saw him look over his shoulder, staring directly at you as he raised an eyebrow.

“Come out, human.” You, for the first time, hear the real command in his voice, the one that terrified the men in your village, the ones who came back from battle and laid awake at night with it echoing in the solitude of their minds.

You gave it a couple seconds, and when you saw him vanish from the spot he had been near the river bank you panicked, looking around everywhere to see where he had gone.

You felt a rush of air wisp behind you, and you whipped your head around to see a large hand circle around your throat, long, claw-like nails digging into your skin as he effortlessly raised you from the ground.

You felt the voice in your head mock you for your stupidity, the idea alone of spying on the curse everybody feared an idiotic idea. But you were curious, too curious for your own good, and the first time you saw him you were fascinated.

Here he seemed like the monster everybody made him out to be. Blood from his previous victims splattered across his face, red eyes boring into yours as he assessed the person in front of him, large muscles flexing as he turned you around, gawking at you like an animal in a cage.

But the first time you saw him, he drew you in, and perhaps that would be the sole reason for your demise. The sun shone shined splendidly that day, reflecting off the water beneath him, his skin shining bright as he delicately cleaned his dirtied clothes in peace.

You hadn’t meant to run into him that day, but you couldn’t rest seeing him act so human, so normally, after every rumor, you had heard.

You now wish you had listened to them.

“You’ve been here before, haven’t you?” He cocked his head to the side, eyebrow perched as you meekly grabbed at his hand, begging him to loosen his grip.

His eyes trailed down to your gaping mouth, eyes widening with the lack of air, and his grip loosed, dropping you roughly to the ground, giving you a couple of seconds to failingly come up on your arms, coughing as you rubbed weakly at your neck, trying to ease to soreness away.

He dropped down to his knees, crouching down at your side as he waited for you to recover, in no rush as you hacked away.

“I asked you a question.” He reminded you and you fearfully looked up, eyes filled with tears as you weakly nodded, your chapped lips trembling in dread.

“Is that a yes?” His lips upturned in a small and taunting smile, his sharpened teeth gleaming back at you as you gulped, clearing your throat as you tried your best to respond.

“Yes, yes,” You looked at the grass beneath you, anything but the figure of death in front of you, “I have been here before, my lord.“

He kept his eyes locked on yours, his look never shifting from one to the other, keeping natural as if to frighten you even more.

Would anybody care if you had been killed out in the woods today? Would anybody come looking if you went missing?

"Is it you who’s been watching me these past weeks?” He asked, and even on the ground sitting in front of you he shadowed your crumpled form, and you wiped some of the slobber from your lips before you spoke again.

“I apologize, my lord.” Your fingers shook far too much, could he tell? Could he see that your blood was freezing under your skin?

“May I ask what’s intrigued you so much to return?” You feel this breath on your cheeks, his nose close to yours as he leaned in, the air in your lungs seizing as you held it all to yourself.

Your fingers itched to grab the small bundle you had brought with you, the one you had failed to give these past weeks.

He watched the movement, his eyes quickly darting over to the small package concealed in a piece of dirtied cloth.

“Is this yours?” He reached over and grabbed it, examining its shabby shape as you meekly nodded once more, your mouth too dry to give him a proper response.

He glanced back over to you, truly studying you. Your clothes were dirty, mud and dirt clinging to your skin, holes littering the soles of your shoes. Your hair was clumped together and nails were outgrown from their beds.

He had been familiarized with the nearby village, having ransacked it multiple times. He knew the women well, their appearances were far more important than anything else. If you were from there it was obvious you were one of their outcasts, if the skin clinging to your bones would say anything.

He kept an eye on you as you coughed again, blood specking the palm of your hand as you wiped it on your pants, embarrassed and more honestly terrified to look at him, opting to gape at the ground.

He turned the lump of fabric around in his hand, weighing it and sniffing it as if to sense what was inside. A foul smell flew under his nose, and he winced as he quickly went to open it, his inquisitiveness taking over.

The fabric was flimsy and wasn’t tied hard enough, falling away as he peeled it back.

Small tomatoes and pieces of lettuce tumbled out, some parts of them molded as they fell to his feet.

“I apologize, my lord, they are not of the best quality.” You explained and he scoffed, taking the small vegetables and squishing it between his fingers, turning back to you as he took you by the collar, lifting it up so that you would be face to face with him.

“Were those for me?” His head tilted again, a small pout overtaking his smile as he watched you struggle to come up with words to say.

“Have you been watching me these past few weeks just to give me rotten vegetables?”

He watched in clear amusement as you sniffled, your eyes squeezed shut as you nodded, hands quivering as you kept them balled by your side.

“Did that really sound like a good idea to you?” His grip on your collar tightened, and you gasp as he lifted you once more, your feet dangling as you tried to get back down.

Sukuna looked at you, the tears welling in your eyes, the tomatoes, and lettuce as his feet looking back up at him as he strangled you, your fingers weakling attempting to grab at his clenching fists.

“I’m s-sorry,” You choked out, “It’s all I h-had.” Some bloodied spit landed on his face and he grimaced, dropping you immediately to wipe it off.

You couldn’t muster up a groan as you felt your ankle crack from the pressure, only having enough strength to try to crawl away.

This isn’t how you wanted to die, not alone and at the hands of the curse of death himself. Not when you wanted to see the countryside, to sail in those things they called ships. Not on the ground of a forest, you stumbled upon one day, your kind heart killing you eventually.

And all Sukuna did was watch the pitiful scene, eyebrows drawing together as he saw your crumpled form sit at the stump of a tree, your ankle bent the wrong way, your eyes barely open as you went in and out of consciences.

Who were you? Surely not a girl of any importance. He would have already bedded you had you been one. You were poor, perhaps worse than that, yet you managed to bring him portions of your food.

Even in the coldest of winters, he had watched the village chief struggle to give up a third of his meals to honor him, yet an insignificant girl like you who obviously needed the wasted vegetables more than anything was offering it to him.

Should he kill you here? Make it painless? It seemed that your health was already declining, your bloody coughs enough proof for him. He’d be putting you out of your misery if he did it now.

But walking towards you, his nails turned into the claws he was so used to, kneeling down once more to your slumped form, he couldn’t seem to do it.

You couldn’t even lift your head to beg for your life, but you tried to bring up your fist that paled in size to his, curling it around one of his fingers as you tried to push him away.

And his nails were right there, right at the base of your throat, ready to slit, but he felt the little bit of heat as you sickly gripped him, the little tear droplets wetting his skin as he retracted his hand.

He stared at the top of your head, watching as your hand fell to your side, your body too weak to keep it up anymore.

And he grumbled to himself, saying things such that he wasn’t fucking enough people and his mind was going crazy, cupping your knees as he lifted you gently up, supporting your head with the palm of his hand as he brought you back to the village.

He could have killed you even then as he was entering the gates, but you had held onto his shirt so tightly that he could barely lift his finger to do such a thing.

—

Keep reading

Gadamnn 🥹😭 I love this story man your so talented 😭😭 I'm assuming it Naomi and it prob is lol. I don't hate Naomi but I definitely don't like her. And now I want yn to end up with toji haha woop

Sundered 3: MIRRORS

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | ...+

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, mean!gojo(kinda), babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, suggestive smut

word count: 6.8k

He’s the one who picked this pace so he got no business complaining.

“Think you know who I am now?” Satoru’s eyes scanned the marks on the man’s skin, hearing the sound of his own teeth grinding against each other. It gave him a painful yet tingling sensation in his mouth, sending weakness to his jaws as he found himself stepping forward to invade the space that the stranger made for himself inside your house. 

“I guess you do if you’re coming at me like that.” The man chuckled, standing his ground as he straightened up, almost chest-to-chest with Satoru. The smirk on his scarred lips remained unfaltering and his eyes glimmered with a mix of mischief and displeasure. Satoru can’t even tell if he’s playing with him but he can’t just let him disrespect him like that. 

“You just really wanna be rude, man.” Satoru hissed through clenched teeth, hearing the stranger chuckle, clearly enjoying his irritation. He could’ve been on friendlier terms if he didn’t act like he own the place. “What’s wrong with asking who you are? If anything you’re the one who interrupted our morning session-” With a sharp intake of breath Satoru balled his fists tighter.

He would’ve swung a punch if it weren’t for the figure of a woman in an oversized shirt coming into view. “Satoru?” He looked over to see you and your worried face. Your hair was a mess, having just got out of bed but it didn’t dull your glow. Whose shirt is that you’re wearing? He was sure he didn’t leave any clothing of the same appearance here. Why are you just in your underwear when another man is in the house and where is Yui?

Now, Satoru isn’t dumb but those questions in his head were just him wanting to hear answers from you instead of believing the stupid man who opened the door for him. “I didn’t think you’d be here earlier. Yui stayed with Mom last night.” Your voice was soft as you spoke to him and so are your sleepy eyes. Like he didn’t just break your heart a couple of weeks ago. 

There was no trace of resentment in your features and Satoru wished it was just that, instead of concern gracing your face as you pulled the stranger’s hand before checking his face. Won’t you check me too? He wanted to ask but he bit his tongue, looking away from the sight. What was he expecting? He doesn’t want that anyway. Naomi wouldn’t put him in this situation. 

“I’m gonna call Mom, they should be on their way here.” Satoru eyed the man as you walked together to the kitchen, leaving him in the small living room. His hands were on your waist and by the size of the shirt, it was obviously his. “Do you make Yui stay with Mom, now?” Satoru spoke, annoyance prominent in his voice as he followed the two of you.

“No, it was my Mom’s birthday yesterday and she wanted to spend some time with Yui, so I let her.” You explained, keeping your eyes on him before glancing over at the guy who was now walking to your fridge in his sweatpants. “This…He’s Toji. I, uh, met him a few weeks ago.” Satoru bit his lip, before nodding slowly as if coming to a realization.

“He’s a new friend?” Satoru leaned on a nearby wall so as to appear as cool as he can be. “For now.” Toji chanted, winking at you. It got Satoru frowning, eyebrows coming together as he bit the inside of his cheeks. “Nice to meet you.” Toji stood in front of him, reaching out a hand as if they didn’t try to throw fists at one another earlier. Satoru isn't fond of his attitude. 

“Satoru. I’m the father of her child, ex-boyfriend.” There was an emphasis in his words, filled with a tiny bit of animosity compared to his smiling face. Satoru could see you taking a deep breath when he reached for Toji’s hand, shaking it. It took everything in Satoru not to squeeze too hard, controlling his temper as he got a closer look at the guy. 

Green eyes that look like they were always glaring; the complete opposite of his. Especially the dark hair and the scar on the side of his lips which made his smirks even more aggravating. No guy would want their wife in the same room as him. He looks a bit rough but Satoru can tell why you’re with the guy.

The supposed to be “peace offering” and “friendly shake hands” quickly turned into a stare-off between the two of them, like giving each other unspoken warnings. Satoru’s pretty sure that you can feel the air in the house get thicker as you cleared your throat, trying to get their attention away from each other.

“I know who you are, I just wanted to make sure.” Toji confessed but before the situation escalates any further, you spoke, “I, uh, would you like something while waiting for—” It was obvious that you were desperate for a way to keep him and Toji apart. You don’t really ask him that, and almost as if on cue, the door opened to reveal your mother and his baby girl. 

“Let me change real quick.” You whispered, before pulling Toji inside your room. His baby girl squealed at him, completely unaware of what has been going on before they came in.

“You’re early.” Your mother spoke to him as he gave her a small smile of courtesy. Satoru knows that your mother wanted to be rude to him; she probably wanted to slap him when they first met after your fight, but she’s not that type of woman. She can be very indifferent, but never hostile.

“Hi!” Satoru heard your daughter speak to Toji when he walked out of the room in a t-shirt now. The little girl giggled as he waved back at her. So, this isn’t the first time she saw him, he thought. “Yes, Mom. I can’t waste an hour to be with this angel.” He nodded at your mother, fixing the zipper of Yui’s jacket before taking the baby bag.

“Thank you, Mom. Did I rush you? Sorry about that.” You apologized. Satoru can notice the blush on your cheeks as you fix your hair so it was covering the side of your neck. Satoru couldn’t stop his brain from making up scenarios of what could’ve possibly happened in the short amount that you were in the room with that man, dressing up. 

Your eyes met his as you fixed your daughter’s hat making her reach out her hands to you, urging you to hold her. You took Yui from Satoru giving her cheeks tiny kisses which made her smile, hugging your neck and placing her head on your shoulders. Toji made faces at the toddler, making her giggle joyfully. 

For some reason, the whole scene doesn’t sit right with Satoru, so he focused on checking her things instead, all while cursing to himself. “We were already on our way, it’s fine. Have you made Toji breakfast?” Your mother smiled at Toji, and it made Satoru wonder if you felt like this during the few dinners where his Mom would sit next to Naomi and ignore you the whole night. 

Yui was still too young and was not used to being away from you. He and Naomi also just started dating then. You know there was no point to have you there but your daughter just won’t go without you. Satoru remembered you sitting on the corner of the spacious living room as his mother held his daughter in her lap, entertaining his new girlfriend. 

Although his father isn’t as bad, he’s too busy catching up with other relatives to chit-chat with you. His cousins kept you company but it was only a matter of time before they move on to something you can’t relate to.

There was one time when they took the family pictures while you were in the bathroom and when you came back, you had to stand there and watch them. Naomi was standing beside Satoru as she carried Yui. You shrugged it off when Satoru tried to apologized. You though that it was only right because you’re not even part of their family anymore since you two broke up. But Satoru could see right through you. 

You wouldn’t be faking a smile if it didn’t hurt you.

“I’m going to cook, Ma’am. Let’s all eat together.” Satoru can tell that your mother was fond of Toji with the way she’s smiling at him. She used to be like that to Satoru too, even going as far as sending homecooked foods for his Mom and Dad which you knew they never ate. You just never said anything because you didn’t want to start something and you did want to hurt your mother’s feelings

“Oh, I have to go to a friend’s house, sadly.” Your mother checked her watch before clicking her tongue, “Maybe next time, son.” With that, your mother bid farewell to all of you, albeit a little coldly towards Satoru. There was an eerie silence save from your daughter’s laugh as she caressed your face.

“You ready to leave with Dada?” You spoke as you leaned her towards Satoru, allowing the man to take her from you. “Let’s go, now, love. Naomi is waiting for you.” He cooed at her as she buried her face in his neck, smiling while she peaked at him “I’ll bring Megumi next time so, you can play, okay?” Toji pulled your body close to him, chuckling at how your daughter screamed in excitement, kicking her little legs.

Satoru wanted to roll his eyes as he watched Toji subtly caress and squeeze your waist.

Satoru kissed Yui’s head, pulling stray hairs away from her face to stop himself from saying something he shouldn’t. He’s just so ill-mannered, it’s making Satoru want to warn you about him. He can see how comfortable Yui is with Toji which provoked the questions he’d been keeping to spill out of his mouth.

“I’m gonna cook breakfast.” Toji tapped your behind as he walked away. Satoru didn’t appreciate that but he’s glad the he left. He needs answers. He knows that he’s in no place to demand, but Satoru wants to know if Toji’s arrogance matched his place in your life. As soon as Toji walked far enough, Satoru stepped closer to you.

“Since when?” He asked, gentle eyes watching your daughter as she now plays with his hair. You looked at him for a moment, blinking as you think. “Can’t remember. It’s nothing official, we’d just been hanging around each other during free time and we…” You trailed and Satoru looked away, avoiding your eyes. He doesn’t know if he wants to hear that come from you. His eyes already saw it. He nodded slowly, breathing in as he licked his lips before swallowing.

“That’s good… good for you.” He doesn’t know what else to say. What else should he say? That he’s happy for you? Yeah, he’s definitely happy for you. Now, there’ll be better harmony between everyone because you can now feel how Satoru feels about Naomi, right? You can finally understand. That’s it. This is a relief, he thought as he smiled. 

Satoru was staring at you but his mind was out of it. He can see it in your face. You’re glowing. That Toji guy must’ve been treating you so well even if it’s only been for a few weeks. Satoru can’t even bring himself to feel angry. 

This is how you must’ve felt when you saw him and Naomi that day. This is how affronted and helpless you must’ve felt. 

How you tried so hard to stand your ground as you looked at the two of them being the couple that you should’ve been to each other, watching him save Naomi’s face due to how you saw them and your first impression of her. Seeing him rub on your face that you’re over and he can finally do what he wants. Realizing that he never meant any fucking word he promised to you…

He felt like he cheated that time and he said that to Naomi. He felt like he betrayed not only you but also his daughter. But her words didn’t fail to calm him down. “We can figure everything out together, Satoru. We’ll solve this; all of us.”  She shushed as she put her head on his bare chest. The image of your face, void of emotion but with your broken heart reflected in your eyes was as clear as a day.

This is how you must’ve felt and it’s not fucking nice because if it was, Satoru wouldn’t be holding his breath right now, seeing the hickey you’ve been hiding peek between the strands of your hair when you moved towards him to kiss Yui’s forehead. “Be a good girl, ok?” She was singing something none of you can understand but definitely made you laugh. She’s growing so fast and everything’s changing so fast as well. He wondered if he could keep up. 

He’s the one who picked this pace so he got no business complaining.

—------------------------------------------

Earlier that morning

You woke up to kisses on your shoulders as your eyes twitched against the morning light coming through the slits of the Venetian blinds. The first thing you saw was the luminous lines on the floor, making you sigh as you observe the pale hue. It’s still early, you thought as you felt a calloused hand traveling across your waist to caress your stomach. It made you relax, reaching over to touch the back of Toji’s neck as his kisses moved up to your nape.

You first got to know Toji when came to the cafe where you work one rainy morning, you recognized him to be the man at the toy store. His baby boy was in a small raincoat and boots and he was wearing an expensive-looking coat. You already know that he bought the playpen that day, making you wish they still have some left in stock.

“Stomp your boots, come on. Good boy.” He coached his son, holding his hand to prevent him from slipping as he jumped on the mat to get the wetness off his blue rain boots. His cheeks were chubby and red, it reminded you of you. With just one look, one can already tell that he’s his father’s son. He took the raincoat off the little boy and his placing it on a nearby rack. 

When he looked up, your eyes met, making him narrow his, as he tilted his head. He’s trying to remember where he saw your face and he’s shamelessly doing that. He definitely knows that he looks good. You thought before quickly shaking your head, feeling bad that you’re thinking of someone else’s husband like that. 

“Good day, sir! What can I get for you?” You spoke as he stood on the other side of the counter, scanning your features. It made you feel slightly conscious, fixing your hair subtly as you tried to hide the awkwardness in your smile. “It’s you, how’s your daughter?” You looked at him with mouth slightly ajar, did he just ask how your daughter is without even meeting her? He’s a funny man, you thought,

“You said you’d but a gift for your daughter back in the toy store so, I wanna know how she is.” He clarified bending down to pick up his little boy. The kid caressed his round tummy wordlessly, staring blankly at the menu. “U-uh, she’s okay, sir. Thank you. I was trying to remember where I saw you.” You lied, typing away at the machine to prepare for his order. 

“I’ll have Long Black and a blueberry cupcake for this little dude, that’s what you like?” The man pointed at the menu and the eyes of the kid sparkled as he stared at it. “Yep, he’s having that.” You nodded, avoiding his gaze as you looked down, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I’m Toji, by the way. This is my son, Megumi.” Is he befriending you? You looked at this hand for a few seconds before you came to your senses.

“Y/N.” Shaking his hand, you watched a small smile form on his lips, “Sorry, I was just a bit…surprised.” You laughed nervously, passing their orders to the other staff. “Have a seat, sir. Your orders will be served as soon as it’s ready.” You smiled up at him. They sat at the nearest table with the kid, looking at you. You watched Toji feed his child from a couple of meters away. 

Yui and Satoru must look like this when they’re having a day out. The thought made your heart ache with both joy and pining.

“I’ll see you around, Y/N.” He bid farewell to you after getting a takeout for his son. “Bye-bye,” You were surprised when the little boy waved at you. Albeit without a smile, he was waving his tiny hands enthusiastically. Since then, Toji and Megumi have been coming to the cafe every other day. That's how you got close to them.

You found out that Toji’s wife passed away during childbirth so, it’s only him and the 3-year-old Megumi. Like Satoru, he came from a well-off family. He owns a branch of his father’s business. You also told him about what happened between you and Satoru. Well, a little sugar-coated version of it, because you didn’t want to seem like you were just looking for sympathy but he still caught on. 

Megumi and Yui became playmates. She was deeply amazed by his toys, which Toji decided to share with her, letting the kid take some of them home. Their house was huge, and in Megumi’s playroom was the playpen you were checking out at the store, but the bigger version. Those few weeks felt like months due to how much you learned about each other. And that led to this moment. 

You weren’t supposed to invite Toji over but you ran into him while you were shopping for groceries. And just like you, it just so happens that his son was sleeping over at his parents’ with his cousins. You thought that inviting him over wouldn’t be so bad. You both didn’t have to eat alone in your homes. You know that Toji’s been interested in you but you paid no mind to it, not wanting to seem like you’re just desperate to have someone.

But that night was different. No alcohol was involved yet, you both drowned in each other’s presence.

The next thing you knew, you were moaning under him as he suckles on your skin. The sounds of his pants and your whimpers filled the place and your bed has never felt so small yet, so warm. His hands wandered places you never thought could feel the way they did when he touched them. 

“Fuck, Y/N.” He grunted for what seemed like a millionth time in your ear, pulling you closer as if being skin-to-skin wasn’t close enough. His lips felt soft and gentle against yours as he caught your delicious cries of his name. It’s been so long since you were handled with care. The way he moved within you was enough to take you to cloud nine. 

Once again, a simple night became another turning point in your life and this time, you hoped that it would be for the better.

“What do you want for breakfast?” You turned over, burying your face in his naked chest, remembering the events that occurred the previous night. You felt his fingers tracing your sides, gliding down your behind before grabbing a handful, making you slap his arm light. “This is what I want for mornings.” He chuckled, tangling his legs with yours.

“I gotta go to the bathroom.” You quickly stood up, forgetting about your state. You ended up wincing as you sit down, eliciting a laugh from Toji before he got up, carrying you bridal style to the bathroom. After washing up, you gave him a new extra brush, watching him watch you in the mirror. He could cover your whole body with his by how much bigger he is than you. You blushed as you reckoned the number of positions he had you in last night.

“What?” He smirked at you, washing the water down his face. You shook your head as you finished brushing your teeth. You stood there naked, with Toji ghosting behind you in nothing but his sweatpants.”This is unfair, why are you in your sweatpants already and I’m still naked?” You turned to look up at him, pushing your hair back. As if on instinct, his hands were automatically on your hips.

“I can take this off if you want.” He joked, tilting your head up to give you a slow, passionate kiss. “I’m still sore,” You whined, pressing your forehead against his. Chuckling, he pecked your lips, “I know, let me take you to bed. Rest, then we’ll have breakfast.” He carried you back to bed before giving you your underwear and his shirt.  

“Call me if you need anything,” He kissed your forehead before walking out of your bedroom. You lay there for a couple of minutes, enjoying the silence of the morning and his scent on your sheets. How long has it been since you had that kind of night, you thought to yourself as you smelled his shirt, blushing as you walk out.

Opening the door, you can hear Toji talking to someone. Your brows furrowed as you walked out, following the sound to the front door. Is Yui back already? You thought, But it’s not noisy. Curious, you tried to peek over Toji’s shoulders as quietly as you could. Your eyes widened when you saw a mop of familiar white locks and a pair of blue eyes. The situation was familiar, but this time it was reversed.

Satoru’s the one staring at you with hurt and betrayal in his eyes.

————————————

“Mama buy Yui.” The little girl pointed at the ribbons on her hair as Satoru placed her in her carseat. Satoru still can’t wrap his head around what happened. “Really? Yui looks really pretty.” He tapped her cheek before going to the driver’s seat. He promised himself that if you open the door for him, he’s going to make it up to you. But look at what happened today.

“Toji tells Mama pretty.” The little girl squealed before giggling like she understands what was going on and was unaware of how her father’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. “He does? Why?” The breaths he was taking were deep, as he waited patiently for the kid to answer but it was already out of her mind. 

Satoru shook his head, telling himself that he was just surprised, and having been worked up earlier, his temper still hasn’t fully gone down. “Naomi’s pretty too, right?” Ah, yes. His lovely girlfriend, Satoru sighed as he remembered that he has someone by his side. Someone who truly understands him. The child nodded, humming to herself and leaving Satoru with his thoughts again.

Toji’s probably been helping you get over your jerk of a baby-daddy. He’s giving you the comfort that Satoru should’ve given you. He probably doesn’t give you headaches; doesn’t leave you waiting, arrives on time and he probably doesn’t make you feel less than another woman. 

“Fuck.” Satoru punched the side of the wheel, hearing his little girl gasp. “Huh?” She uttered.

“Sorry, love. I was…That’s not a nice word. Dada shouldn’t have said it.” He smiled at her, before reaching over to caress her cheeks when they stopped at the red light. Satoru ran a hand through his hair, pressing his back against the chair. He shouldn’t be stressing over your relationship. He got his to nurture and focus on. What matters is, you’re happy with your respective partners.

Reaching his house, Satoru was bouncing a laughing Yui in his arms as he pretended to jump around. “Hey, baby. How are you?” Naomi’s always been so sweet with his little girl and he appreciates that. It was one of his concerns when he thought about getting with her but they were pointless for she was so fond of the child.

“Look at her eat, babe! She’s too cute.” Naomi looked at Yui in awe as she chewed on the broccoli. Satoru noticed that she’s getting real good at eating on her own. Even if you go to work away from her, you still give Yui more than enough attention and Satoru wouldn’t deny that he’s amazed by that.

You work at a cafe owned by your friend for five hours from Monday to Saturday. Though working longer means more money, you don’t want to leave your baby too much. You earn enough for the bills and some of Yui’s needs. Satoru wanted to double her allowance but you refused, saying that it should be as fair as the days she stays with the two of you. It’s a basic schedule that never got followed. 

Instead of being 3-4-4-3, it just became 4-3; four days with you and three days with Satoru. It’s because the middle day is usually spent with the two of you together. He can’t remember when and why he came up with that. But he thought that it would be for the best, at least until your child can finally fully understand your situation. It hasn’t happened ever since the fight. 

“Babe?”Naomi tapped his arm, “Satoru!” She tilted her head as she tried to catch his blank stare. Satoru snapped out of his thoughts, breathing in as he looked at his girlfriend’s face. “Hm?” He picked up the glass of juice, drinking as he kept his eyes on her. “I said that when we have one of our own, I’d get them used to eating vegetables early.” She massaged his arm, smiling with her eyes.

“One of our what?” It was a dumb question that Satoru had inside his head while she was speaking but it slipped out, “Ah, no, I mean, yeah. It’s good when children aren’t picky with their foods.” Reaching to wipe the child’s mouth. “Are you alright?” She inquired, concern lacing her soft features. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? It’s just work.” He smiled half-heartedly before coaxing the woman to eat.

The following days were spent with the three of them eating outside and taking Yui to the mall playground. He found himself sending more of Yui’s pictures to you than usual. He doesn’t know what he’s trying to achieve but ever since you introduced Toji to him, he’s been hoping for a chance to talk. He can’t just turn a page when the one he’s on is torn. At least, that’s what it felt like to him.

You’re starting a new chapter and he feels like he’s stuck there. He’s the one who wanted it, so why does it seem like he’s trying to prevent it now?

—--------------------------------------

Satoru set an alarm early, knowing that you’ll be picking up Yui today. Most likely with your boyfriend. He remembered Yui video calling you on his phone accidentally the other day. Turns out, you were at Toji’s. He didn’t even have to ask. The chandelier, the pillow, and the bed, as well as the lampshade; that’s definitely not your room. 

You were fondly talking to Yui but almost immediately came up with an excuse to leave the call when Satoru sat down behind her. He could tell that as much as you want to see your child, you don’t want to interact with her father. 

He’s felt unwanted by you before. This time he just needs closure, he thought.

That’s a bit too much considering how shitty he treated you. But he can’t keep acting like you still have some type of connection other than being parents. Not only is he being unfair to you but to Naomi too. He’s just not used to seeing you with someone else and that’s why it’s bothering him. 

“You’re getting up already?” Naomi spoke in her tired voice as Satoru sits on the side of the bed, checking his phone. “Yeah, they’re picking her up today. You have work too right?” He yawned, stretching when he stood up. Satoru gave Naomi a kiss on her forehead, hearing her hum. After getting ready, Satoru cleaned his living room; arranged the toys inside the playpen, and checked the front yard.

“This is new,” Naomi laughed, holding her coffee mug as she sat on the couch, watching her boyfriend tidy up his home. “You look good, Dada.” She joked which earned a chuckle from him, “You know I could see you doing this every morning” She walked closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she gave him a long kiss.

“I gotta mature, Yui’s growing.” He placed a hand around her waist, “We might grow too. Soon.” Naomi winked at him and Satoru couldn’t help the smile on his face. You used to tell him that you want three kids, and he wondered if you changed your mind. “What is it?” Naomi asked and only then did Satoru realize that he spaced out again.

“I gotta get Yui ready.” He chuckled, pecking her lips, “Oh, yeah. Let’s go. I wanna pick her clothes.” She giggled, pulling Satoru with her. You’ve been in and out of his mind. And it’s not even just because of Toji. Ever since he left the day that you argued, Satoru’s been thinking about nothing but how to make you talk to him. 

The only thing that stopped him was reminding himself of your relationship’s status. You’re not together; he told you he doesn’t want you, and he’s comfortable and happy with Naomi. His guilt was consuming him. He gotta get this out of his chest and properly apologize to you. You don’t even have to forgive him, he just wants to let you know that he didn’t mean what he said.

Getting Yui ready slightly got things off his mind. Her cute laughs, screams, and small conversations with Naomi drowned every worry in Satoru’s mind. But after that, the thought of seeing you with that guy again loomed over his head. He hasn’t told Naomi about it. It doesn’t feel right to talk about you with her like that. 

Satoru dressed himself in a blue-grey sweater and denim jeans. He found himself fixing his hair, and checking his face. “You’re already handsome, my love.” Naomi hugged him from behind, kissing his shoulders. He was just about to answer her when the doorbell rang, signaling your arrival.

“Yui! Love, Mama’s here!” Satoru called to the playing toddler, she was focused on watching her cartoons.“I’m gonna get the door, can you check her stuff?” He spoke to Naomi as he gave a quick look at himself in the mirror. She nodded, puzzled at his urgency but chose to shrug it off.

Satoru ran a hand over his sweater and hair before jogging to the gate. There you stood with Toji and another kid in his arms. The toddler looked so bored for his age, which is about the same as Yui’s. “Is she ready? Oh, this is Megumi, by the way. Toji’s son.” You motioned to the kid. Oh so, that’s why you get along so well. He’s a father too. 

But Satoru’s a father too. Of your own child, on top of that. 

“Hi, he looks like you a lot.” It was a struggle to get friendly with Toji. Not only because of their first meeting but because of how he put his hand on the small of your back. He’s just trying to flex. Satoru wanted to roll his eyes so badly. “She’s inside, come in.” He shook away his bizarre thought. 

“Yui!” The little guy spoke suddenly, pointing as he spotted the little girl in the playpen. Yui quickly turned her head at the voice, recognizing her playmate. “She really knows Megumi.” You chuckled at Toji as he put his son down. The little girl was quick to hug him, squealing as she pulled her father’s hand.

“Gumi, Dada.” She gestured at Megumi. She was introducing her playmate. “She’s gonna be a sweet sister,” Satoru was quick to turn to Toji, seeing that he was dead serious even as you pinched his side. He wanted to ask what makes him so sure that you’re gonna choose him. “She’s happy to see her little friend.” Naomi hugged his arm as he put her head on his shoulder.

“You ready to go?” You cooed at Yui when she tapped your leg, pointing at Megumi like he didn’t just come here with you. It was funny, but Satoru couldn’t bring himself to laugh when his eyes landed on the necklace on your neck. He remembered giving you one, but you stopped wearing it when you saw him with Naomi. He doesn’t get to look for it now. 

“Alright, let’s go.” You were about to pick Yui up but Naomi’s words halted you, “What about Mama’s kiss?” Satoru cursed himself for avoiding discussing it with Naomi because of how it ended in a fight with you. He was about to tell her but he just couldn’t without getting frustrated for not being able to reach you. Naomi opened her arms to Yui but little Megumi has his own words.

“No Mama, No.” He spoke, shaking his head at Naomi like she wasn’t unknown to him. “Yui Mama.” He patted you, eliciting a chuckle from Toji. “Alright, you’re talkative now. Let’s go.” He picked the little boy up. It left Naomi laughing awkwardly beside Satoru who was busy getting his daughter’s things. 

“Give me a kiss, love.” Satoru gets closer to Yui and naturally, to your face too, as you sat her on your hip. His eyes met yours for a couple of seconds, looking away bitterly when he couldn’t find the emotions he was searching for. Even if you told him that it was nothing official, Satoru could see in your eyes that you were slowly leaving what you had with him. 

Like what he did with you. He just didn’t know that this is how it would feel. 

Walking out with you felt like he was walking you out of his life, entrusting you to this man who probably knows your body, your scent, and your touch the way he does. Does he still know you like that? After all that he’s said and done, Satoru can’t expect that you still see him the same way. 

A part of him says it’s for the best, so you could move on quicker. But the other part of him felt like he was the one walking backward.

The children waved at them and Satoru could only plaster a smile as he watched you get on the passenger side. “That’s a nice car. I didn’t know she got a boyfriend.” Naomi spoke cautiously beside him, “Yeah, that’s not her boyfriend.” Satoru walked back inside the house, mood officially ruined.

“Naomi babe, you can’t have Yui calling you Mama anymore.” Satoru spoke as he get himself a glass of water. He’s not giving himself a chance to delay the information any longer. He just wants to clear everything up, that’s his last hope of getting rid of the weird thoughts and feelings he’s been getting. These unfinished businesses are probably messing with his head.

“Oh, sorry. She disagreed?” Naomi sat down in front of him, watching her boyfriend’s face. “Yeah, it was disrespectful to her. It is.” Satoru nodded, caressing her cheek. Everything else after that was just Satoru answering her questions. He doesn’t even feel like meeting with his client anymore. He just wants to sleep. It’s only morning and he’s already drained.

He didn’t think that seeing you with someone else could suck the life out of him. 

—------------------------------------

It’s been two months of proper co-parenting with you. Well, it’s proper to you and Toji, you’ve been living your fairytale with your king. Satoru scoffed as he downed another drink. He was at the bar where he first met you. Alone. The noise was loud but not loud enough to mute the thoughts inside his head.

He recalled that one time when you picked Yui up, and Toji had the guts to tell him that he was taking you and Yui out of the country to go to Disneyland. He wanted to tell him that he’s gonna be the one doing that but the excitement of his kid prevented him from doing so. 

“I just wanted to get your permission because I don’t want to be disrespectful to the other parent.” Toji didn’t mean harm but the words sent Naomi out of the room.

He once stalked Toji’s account and found photos of you and him by the pool. A swipe after that was the kids drinking coconut water in their swimming attire. The arm floats looked cute on their arms and Satoru wished that he was there to witness that with you. Another swipe was your legs in between Toji’s. 

It was frustrating enough that he had to log off for a day. If this happened several months back, he’d probably post a picture of him and his girlfriend just to piss you off. But he can’t do that anymore. He’s way too aware of what’s happening to him to still act like an asshole. 

The other day he and Naomi ran into you and Toji at the grocery store. The kids were on strollers and he never told Naomi but he already saw you before she even pointed your presence out. As much as he wanted to see his baby, he was too afraid to approach, fearing that he’d be met with news that could end everything for him. 

He saw Toji put his large hand on your lower stomach, as the other one snaked on your hip. If this is what he thinks it is, he’s probably gonna faint right on the spot. He whispered something to you that made you look up at him with a smile.

It’s been a while since you smiled at him like that. 

He consoled himself by saying that it was too early for something like that but was quickly discouraged by the fact that he himself made rash decisions without regarding how you might feel. During the encounter, Satoru kept himself grounded by entertaining the kids. 

“Pour me another one.” He spoke to the bartender, before leaning on his forearm. This is bad, he thought. His girlfriend will definitely wonder why he’s trying to get wasted alone in the bar where he first met the mother of his child. If that happens, Satoru wouldn’t know what to say. She was such a good woman to him and he wouldn’t want to hurt her like that. 

This is one of the reasons why he’s encouraging himself to move on, aside from the fact that he’ll probably never get you back. He has high respect and admiration for Naomi. She’s been nothing but a great person to him. She was there when his mind was a mess and she held him down. He wants to avoid breaking her heart.

Why didn’t you think of this before you gave up on Y/N? Have you no idea how much she put up with just to make it work with you?  A voice in his head spoke, pushing Satoru to down another drink. He’s fucking right, he thought. That voice was fucking right. 

“Y/N gave up on me because I gave her every reason to. I gave up on Y/N because I was tired. I was never fucking fair.” Satoru cursed to himself, pulling his phone out just as his mind started to spin. He doesn’t even know if what’s happening is real. But Satoru has gotten enough confidence from the alcohol to spill out everything in his heart.

With a couple of taps, Satoru’s phone was ringing in his ear, waiting for the other person to pick up. “Hey,” A lazy voice rang through the speakers of the phone “...love you..” Satoru answered, coughing as he held his head with one hand. 

Frustrated with the noise, Satoru made his way to a far corner. Pressing his back before sliding down to a sitting position by a wall. “...where are you?” Satoru couldn’t even hear her clearly. He laughed half-heartedly, sniffing as he teared up at her concern. “I still love you, Y/N. So, so much.” He spoke more clearly. 

Little did he know, it wasn’t Y/N on the other end of the line.

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I have depression 😔

sincerely not. (11)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

with an arranged marriage set in place, the sacred bond is doomed with a wife who wants to make the relationship work and a husband who’s ready to ruin it all. unknown to him, a tragic fate already lies within the pages of your romance book.

genre. heavy angst, unrequited love, arranged marriage, modern au, 18+

tags/warnings. profanity, mentions of alcohol/intoxication, mentions of pregnancy, infidelity/adultery, illness

notes. 10k wc. as always tysm for the beta-ing @suhkusa :] there are so many little twists on this chapter, enjoy !! for satoru and sera’s conversation at the bowling alley, please click here

series masterlist -> part twelve

When Satoru said that you would talk at home, it didn’t really happen. You had fallen asleep long before he came home at midnight with a strong smell of alcohol surrounding him. It seemed that he had spent the night drinking until he was intoxicated, stumbling into your bed with a half-buttoned shirt as he tried enveloping you in his arms—his lips on your nape, his chest on your back. Through his drunken stupor, he could still manage slurring “you’re mine” and “you’re my wife” as if he didn’t cast you aside over the course of your pitiful marriage. That night, you chose to resume your slumber without facing him or returning his hugs, remembering fully well how he established the fact that you would only come second despite being his lawfully wedded wife.

At least, you were seeing the light. The darkness that convinced you to make this marriage work was slowly fading because Gojou himself was making it clear to you that your marital relations were irredeemable. The spouse that vowed to love and cherish you, to be there for you in sickness and in health, to remain devoted to you for as long as he shall live, was the same person who never truly treasured you. But then again, how could you blame him? He didn’t ask for this marriage. He didn’t ask for you.

These thoughts bedeviled your mind when you took a shower the next morning, feeling warm beads of water raining down your naked body in rivulets while you were lost in trance thinking of the best way to deal with your situation. Satoru should still be sleeping by now because he didn’t have work for the whole week and was expected by his father to spend more time with you. As if he’d do that. He probably had a huge fight with Sera yesterday and would do his best to try and give her all of his precious time. That wouldn’t be too surprising since he did it before and he could very much do it again. You had already prepared yourself.

By the time you stepped out of the shower and sheathed your body with a white robe, you proceeded to dry your hair with another towel before you looked at yourself in the mirror. Every time you saw your reflection, you were quick to notice your flaws and just everything that you didn’t like about your physical appearance. Your face, your body, your complexion. If you couldn’t even find yourself beautiful, how much more in your husband’s eyes that never once made you feel so?

A sigh escaped your lips. Well, enough of that. You shouldn’t ruin your day with your insecurities and pessimistic thoughts. Those were no longer his fault but yours and yours alone. You simply lacked and he wanted more.

For now, you had to take your numerous medicines to start the day but had forgotten that you hid them inside your drawers. You usually didn't have a problem with taking your prescribed medications because Gojou would have already left for work before you could swallow all pills of different colors and sizes. This was a different case now because he would stay in bed for a whole week and you had to find another place to hide your medicine bag.

The first thing you did when you walked out of the bathroom was to head straight to your bedside table, but was surprised when you saw Satoru shifting in panic from his side of the bed. He was now wide awake with his back pressed against the headboard and his shirt completely unbuttoned. You came to notice how your phone was not in the same position as you left it near your lampshade and you came to a conclusion that your husband snooped through your phone. But you acted oblivious by ignoring him as you made your way to your side.

Is he suspecting me of cheating? That was his specialty, not yours. What was he expecting to see in your phone, anyway?

“Morning,” he greeted, feigning innocence by keeping his diamond blue eyes glued on your figure. He didn’t get a response.

What he received was plain silence as you opened your drawers and internally panicked when you couldn’t find your medicine bag no matter how much you rummaged through your things. No way, memories flashed before your eyes as you recalled that you had mindlessly placed it in Satoru’s bedside drawers yesterday. How stupid and untimely was that? Without uttering a word, you hastily scurried to his side of the bed only to be pulled by his manly arms as he clung around your waist.

“What’re you looking for?” he softly asked with traces of alcohol still lingering from his breath. You leaned away while you sat at the edge, opening his drawers to search for the bag. In his drawers, there were piles of personal documents, along with his wallet, his phone, and… an unopened box of condoms.

Your heart stopped. Those were clearly going to be used with Sera. Thinking about how sexually active he must be with her was causing the unusual thumping rhythm inside your chest. How many times did they do it in a week? How often did he ask for it? Thoughts of him pinning her down in bed, whispering sweet things in her ear as they made love was giving you a whirlwind of unhealthy emotions. You were dizzied by the thought of them being intimate that you felt the nausea kicking in.

You could feel Gojou’s chest pressing against your arm as his eyes trailed down to where you were looking at. Immediately, he clarified the situation by speaking up. “I got those for us,” he explained, emphasizing the last two words because he was perceptive to the way you paused when you discovered his contraceptives. “You don’t want a baby yet so I won’t force it out of you and I got us condoms just in case.”

Two things; you weren’t sure if you were relieved because they weren’t for Sera or because he was finally respecting your decision to not conceive a child at this period of your marriage. Though, beyond that, you also found it ridiculous how he believed that you would still have sex with him regularly. You may have done it countless times, day and night, before you ever had your big fight, but things have changed. You were no longer going to sleep with him just because you were husband and wife. He used to imply that it was an obligation more than it was for pleasure, so why have intercourse when his sole purpose for it was to make a baby in the first place?

“We don’t need these. You can throw them away,” you mumbled, pushing the box aside before you finally got a hold of your medicine bag that was disguised as a makeup pouch.

He must have misinterpreted your words when you asked him to discard the condoms because he started trailing kisses on your jaw while he brushed strands of your damp hair away from your shoulders. There was no hesitation when he tried to peel your robe off as he left kisses on your shoulder, hand snaking down to squeeze your clothed bosom. “You sure you don’t wanna use one? It’s safer.”

His warm breath tickled your earlobe, horripilation sweeping your body each time he rolled his tongue on your neck concurrent to how he sucked the flesh for a soft, inviting kiss. You were giving in, almost. But you pressed a hand on his bare chest and forcefully pushed him back in bed. Not because you would initiate anything sexual, but because you were avoiding it from happening. “Lay off, I’m not in the mood. I have somewhere to be.”

In the first place, he had more important things to clear out. Why hasn’t he brought up what happened between him and Sera yesterday? It seemed like he had no plans to even talk about it and you weren’t pleased. Sex wouldn’t solve all of his problems, only proper communication would.

“This early? Where are you going?” he questioned with a tone that matched his accusatory eyes.

You initially thought of not giving him a direct answer, but realized that it would lead to unnecessary interrogation and fuel his suspicions further. You just didn’t want to have a longer conversation with him. Though, admittedly, you found it funny that he was the one feeling restless about an affair that didn’t even exist. Toji would be guffawing had he seen your husband’s face right now. He was looking like he wanted to juice you for answers, but you gave him an honest response. “I’m heading out to see my fashion consultant and my seamstress to bring the fabric for my evening dress, then I’ll help her out in cutting the patterns. I want things to be done precisely.”

“That’s it?” Satoru gauged your emotions intently as if he was searching for any lies within your truths. “I’ll come with you, then.” You could tell from his expression that his words alluded that you should let him come if you weren’t hiding anything.

Satoru has surpassed the highest level of absurdity.

You held your breath and kept a deadpan expression. “No. You’re not needed.”

Visibly hurt by your rejection, he loosened his arm around your waist and released a deep exhale. You could see the slow rise and fall of his toned chest as he raked his fingers through his ivory hair. “I’m saying this in case you’ll be surprised, but from now on, I’ve ordered my bodyguards to follow you every time you leave the penthouse alone.”

What? Wasn’t his possessiveness a bit too much? You couldn’t believe that Satoru would ever make outrageous decisions like this. “You’re so interested in my whereabouts now?”

His face hardened. “I have the right to know. This is the second time I’ve learned that you’ve been hanging out with a business rival without telling me. I don’t want you to meet with him anymore.” You noted how your husband clenched his jaws after saying that. But… this couldn’t be jealousy. It was merely his pride speaking.

If he was so concerned about his image, why was he blatantly showing his affair in front of Toji yesterday?

“Did you see me asking my people to follow you while you were with Sera?” you asked, crossing your arms with a disapproving face.

“No, but that’s—” You bet he was going to put the blame on you again. You were certain that he would claim that his situation was different because they’ve been dating before he married you. Gojou had always painted you as the villain to his fairytale with Sera so that was expected. However, he surprisingly couldn’t find the right words to say and ended up drawing a long, deep breath before he spoke again, “Y/N… You understand that people do things they don’t mean, right? That sometimes we’re driven by emotions so we do terrible things that we regret later on?”

You stared at him, blankly. “What’s your point?”

“I just… I want you to trust me.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed your palm as though he was begging for your understanding. “I know it’s confusing for you right now, but I’m figuring things out and I just need more time to lessen the damage. I promise I’ll settle some things. For us.”

Was this part of the reason he was drinking all night? You were aware that your husband would consume alcohol here and there especially around other businessmen, but never to an extent where he would let himself be inebriated. While Satoru may seem reckless and childish, he was still a man who could run a business empire by himself. He knew when to hold himself together to look responsible in front of others. The only time he would pour liquor down his throat to the point of insobriety was when he was caught in a predicament, just like on his father’s birthday. You wondered what seemed to be specifically bothering his mind, still you had chosen to remain reticent with your personal feelings. It was better to keep your silence than to bother comprehending his non sequiturs. Satoru was the perfect example of self-contradictory. He says one thing, but does another. He told you that he wanted to make it up to you, but chose to run after his lover. You were no longer fooled.

He must be missing his sweet, affectionate wife who readily obeyed his requests despite being constantly demeaned, neglected, and hurt.

Think of your heart, Y/N. With that thought in mind, you simply got up and left him in bed while he watched your figure entering the walk-in closet. Your silence was deadly and he was having difficulties in finding a cure for it.

Why was he acting as if he was the one suffering?

It was too early for Naoya to drink a glass of Macallan, but the burning feeling of the liquor down his throat felt like a reward for his amazing performance last night. Leaning his body back against the headboard, he pulled the sheets to cover his naked lower body as he watched the woman pick up her underwear on the floor.

“Leaving so soon?” he asked, swirling the glass before taking another sip of the expensive liquor. Eula was struggling to clasp her bra and urged the younger man to help her clip it back in.

“His plane arrives this afternoon,” she said before she started pulling her pantyhose over her right leg. “I don’t wanna deal with that man’s temper if he finds out that I’d been away all night.”

Fair enough. Being the wife of the Gojou Group’s chairman must be tough. The pressure, the expectations, the obligations. But in all fairness, Naoya would applaud her for having to put up with a foolish old man whose greed ironically blinded him from the fact that his second wife was cheating on him with a much younger man. It was hilarious for Naoya to think about how he had found himself entangled with a business rival’s spouse, because no one else would have seen it coming.

“So, when are we gonna see each other again?” The question left his mouth with a hum. And before he knew it, the woman was zipping her dress back up, leaning down to kiss him passionately on the lips. The taste of cherry still lingered on her tongue and he would have asked her for another round of hard thrusting and moaning if she didn’t pull away so quickly.

Smiling, she grabbed her purse and took out her lipstick. “I’m gonna be busy. I’m sure you are, too.”

“Busy plotting Satoru-kun’s downfall?” The corner of his lips upturned in good humor. “You turn me on with your evilness.”

Eula was pressing her scarlet lips together as she looked at herself from a compact mirror. “It’s only a matter of time until that bastard will start humbling himself. Do you know they don’t wear their wedding rings anymore?”

Of course, Naoya noticed your ringless finger the first thing when you visited their estate but he chose not to tell his lover about it. “Really?” He placed the glass atop the oak table. “That’s interesting.”

A scoff escaped her lips as she recalled the image in her head. “Maybe I need to get Mei Mei to spice up the rumors in their office again.” It was almost as if these malicious schemes flowed into her brain naturally. “She has no morals when money is involved. Can you believe how stupid Satoru is? All she had to do was warn him about a fake mole to steer herself clear of any suspicions.”

Damn. To think that Naoya used to look up to Satoru as a businessman, seeing how he was letting a woman destroy his life and his marriage was disappointing. But then again, Naoya silently thought, that’s none of my business. He was satisfied enough to hear about the drama that was unfolding within the Gojou family. It felt as though he was watching a house burning down in uncontrollable flames with how things were going in their household. Since the opportunity already presented itself, he took the chance to inveigle the woman. “I’m already certain that Satoru-kun won’t let go of his wife until he’s got the merger secured,” he began, folding an arm at the back of his head, “and by doing that, he gets to be the CEO—”

“Absolutely not!” The woman surprised him with her quick disagreement. “Yuuta will take over the business. All of it. I’ll make sure Satoru won’t get a single penny once it happens.”

“You hate him that much?” Naoya grinned, amused by her frown.

He already knew the answer, but he enjoyed seeing her wrath. “I despise him. If only that son of a bitch treated me with respect since day one, I would have been less despicable to him.” As she said those words, she simultaneously got up and started to put on all of her diamond rings, necklaces, and earrings. Truth be told, Naoya found her ostentatious display of jewelry a bit distasteful since he has built a stigma towards the nouveau riche.

But this, he decided to turn a blind eye on it for personal reasons. Eula was different—that was all that mattered. It wouldn’t be a blot on his escutcheon when no one knew about his affair with the older woman in the first place. “You’d really risk ruining the company’s chances in sealing a merger deal just to convince your husband that your stepson is incompetent?” he asked, more so to try and make sense of her ulterior motives.

“It’s easy to do that merger thing with other companies, right?” Wrong. “I’m sure Shinzo will be able to secure another one with a better company than CFG.” Wrong again.

Creston held the prestige of having the largest financial assets in Japan. Even if a full merger couldn’t be possible, keeping ties with a huge company like that was still advantageous. At the end of the day, they could always go for product and market extensions. Ruining the relationship with you and Satoru would be detrimental not just for your families but for the Gojou Group as well.

But rather than allowing his rival’s conglomerate to skyrocket on top of the most successful companies in the world, Naoya would protect his family’s pride and never let the Zen’in Group be ousted.

“Yeah, it’d be easy to find a new company,” he agreed to the woman, sending her a convincing smile in between his words.

Without much thought, she sighed in relief. “Good. I don’t care about their stupid merger or whatever, anyways. There are better companies out there.”

This was the problem with people who didn’t possess a business mindset. Their analytical skills were shallow as they relied solely on their greed without paying attention to the repercussions it would have in the bigger picture. Because Eula was never passionate about her previous secretarial position back in the days, she wasn’t able to understand the value of a company other than organizing schedules, making coffees, and seducing her boss. Now that reminded him of someone else. Someone specifically like this woman in front of him.

“What’s the name of that girl again?” Naoya inquired. Curiosity glimmered through his eyes for a moment. He had seen the girl’s face but couldn’t remember her name. “That mistress, the one Satoru-kun’s obsessed with.”

Eula looked inherently bored. “Sera.”

Sera. Sera. Naoya’s lips curved upwards. I’d like to meet her soon.

Toji spent his morning going through piles of paperwork, reading every proposal and reports, approving and rejecting them, and signing where his signature was needed. Mondays were usually the busiest in the corporate world no matter which industry. He often saw the looks of his employees’ faces after work and could tell that the first day of the week alone had drained them. No one looked forward to Mondays as much as they did with Fridays, even the CEO himself who didn’t stay in the office often had the same thought.

On a similar note, his thoughts were full of you. He had not stopped thinking of the events that happened yesterday and how Satoru ran off to his mistress instead of staying with his wife. He didn’t think that seeing your husband choosing his mistress would actually prompt an angina attack and he realized that he should have known better than to induce a husband’s jealousy even if he did it with good intentions.

Why do the kindest people suffer the most? Your husband and that woman were shameless regardless of their reasons for having an affair. It was even more obnoxious how the mistress burst into tears as if she was in the position to show the exact emotions that the wife should be feeling.

If Toji’s own wife was still alive, she would have agreed that you were admirable for your emotional resilience.

But then, your heart… Knowing how fragile it was, you shouldn’t go through this much suffering anymore.

Back when you visited the estate, you were all smiles around the kids like they had been your temporary joy from the melancholy of your home. That version of you and that other version in the bowling alley were different in the sense that one was happy and the other was miserable. He hoped that you would no longer be the latter because a woman like you deserved to enjoy the rhapsodies of life while you still could. You exuded so much warmth that even his son and his nieces expressed how much they liked you. Your smiles were contagious and your stoicism was remarkable. It didn’t surprise him when Mai told him just how much she looked up to you, not just for your exquisite taste in fashion, but also for your humble elegance that could steal any man’s breath away.

Had you been single, had you waited a little, Toji knew for sure that countless men would have lined up on your doorstep asking for your hand in marriage. You deserved to be treated like a queen, not pushed to the side like a paramour.

Sometimes, he wished that you stood up for yourself more. He wished that you had been more selfish over some things that were rightfully yours. Your marriage, your husband一these were all yours in the eyes of God and of the whole world. Given that it was arranged for familial ties to keep your wealth within yourselves, you were still worthy of a faithful husband.

Was Gen aware of her brother-in-law’s infidelity? From what he remembered, that woman had a strong personality and had always been very protective of her sister. He knew this because they were colleagues in business school and they’ve always maintained a decent friendship even if she was closely tied to the Gojous. Maybe Gen wasn’t aware of Satoru’s antics all along, but that made Toji sympathize with you even more. It looked like you’ve chosen not to reveal your troubles because you didn’t want to burden others. He had always been attentive to the way you speak, the way you carry yourself, and the way you handle your emotions like a classy woman, and he waited for you to open up about the truth behind Satoru’s extramarital affairs, but not once did you ever slander your husband’s name behind his back.

While lost in deep thought, he sensed another person’s presence from behind the large doors of his office and it didn’t take him a second to guess the owner of the whiny voice. “Toji-kun!”

It’s too early for him to pester people, he thought as he shook his head, flipping the page so he could resume scanning the consolidated reports. Unfortunately, Naoya had already entered his office, striding inside with a Cheshire cat grin on his face that was hinting to whatever gossip he had this time. Doesn’t this man still act like a teenager for his age? Toji briefly looked up from his file to see his cousin plopping down on the couch. “What do you need? I’m busy.”

“I wasn’t trying to bug you,” he defended, although he kept the mischief on his face. “I’m disappointed you’re not asking me where I’ve been last night.”

Toji quickly signed the lower part of the page before closing the document. “Not my business.”

Naoya huffed at the man’s insouciance. “I got laid. When was the last time you did?”

Instead of praising him like he badly wanted, Toji decided to tease the guy. “You’re proud about screwing an older woman?”

“It’s not that一!”

“Yeah, right.”

A heavy sigh of defeat flew out of the younger man’s lips. Toji was no stranger to Naoya’s affair with the wife of the Gojou Group’s chairman. He didn’t know the details of how they met and started their relationship, but knowing Naoya who always swore to being a hit-it-and-quit-it with his dalliance towards socialites, models, and idols, his discreet entanglement with Satoru’s stepmom was definitely scandalous. Not only because of the age difference, but also because of the fact that he was getting involved with a business rival. It was a double-edged sword that could either be beneficial or damaging to the Zen’in clan. Even with that in mind, Toji trusted that the guy was smart enough with what he was doing which was also why he wasn’t really meddling with his covert schemes. Naoya was even confident when he brought up a specific topic, “I heard they’re planning to proceed with the merger soon, but it’s pathetic that it won’t end up happening. Eula wants her son to inherit everything.”

Not surprising at all. “She’s gonna have a hard time dethroning Satoru. Everyone knows that his father would rather hand the company over to someone from his own bloodline no matter how much he adores his adoptive son.”

“Fair enough,” the blond agreed, crossing his legs while resting his back against the cushion, “but Satoru-kun’s dealing with his marriage too, isn’t he? I also heard that they couldn’t produce an heir. It’s been several months since they got married, ‘ya know?”

His silence overcame him. Couldn’t produce an heir? Did that mean that you were unable to conceive a child? Toji pushed the pitiful thought away. Certainly, there must be a reason why you had not gotten pregnant. You must be taking extra measures now that you were on medications because of your heart problems.

“We don’t know the full story,” was all that he could say to him.

“Toji-kun.” Naoya’s smirk was the very image of an evil incarnate, but his playful voice would fool anyone into thinking that he was harmless. “What would you do if Y/N was your wife?”

What would he do if you were his wife? That would never happen, but…

He looked at the guy with a still breath. “I’d make sure everyone who wronged her would be begging on their knees.”

Of course, for someone as sadistic as Naoya, this was the answer that he wanted to hear. He was so delighted and satisfied that he got up from his seat before walking towards the door with a salute to signal his departure. “Leave all the dirty work up to me.”

For someone who chose to run after his lover rather than to stay with his wife, Gojou was sure as hell confusing.

That afternoon when you did pay a visit to your seamstress, Satoru didn’t insist on coming with you after you declined him, but he did stick to his words when he said that his bodyguards would be following you. There were at least three of them in their vehicle who preposterously tailed your car wherever you went and you pondered on whether these people realized how plainly inane their boss was. If he was so worried about your apparent infidelity, he should also remind himself that he was the one that started it. You weren’t the kind of person who would cheat on a partner no matter how terrible they were, but he couldn’t deny that you were also just serving him his own medicine if it did happen.

It was actually embarrassing how your small team of seamstresses and stylists noticed how the bodyguards were peeking from outside of the shop—one of them was even on the phone as if he was detailing a report to his boss. This is humiliating. You could only imagine how Satoru was acting back in your penthouse alone, possibly all edgy and agitated because he couldn’t accept the fact that you were no longer the same caring wife that he married.

At least, on the external.

It must be insulting for him that the tables have turned. You used to be neglected at home while he was out spending romantic dates with Sera, but now he was the one being rejected and neglected by you, though only because you had actual obligations to tend to. Between you and him, he should be grateful that you weren’t doing anything more hurtful than detaching yourself from him when it would be easy for you to just sleep with another man out of spite.

That wasn’t you, though. At the end of the day, you still came home as a devoted wife. The only difference was that you were less attached and nurturing, but more cold and indifferent. On the other hand, upon coming back home, you were greatly surprised to see a couple of men in uniform entering the empty room opposite yours and Satoru’s master bedroom. He was watching each person that went inside, sighting every corner to ensure that everything was perfect to his vision. The said workers were carrying a few pieces of furniture into the room as well as a wide desk, some racks, some mannequins and magazines, and other items that you would particularly see in a fashion studio.

As it turned out, Satoru had ordered a rush restructuring of the empty room and modeled it into a working space. For you.

“So you don’t have to leave home,” he reasoned, hands on his waist after you questioned him why he did all of that. “I want you here with me all the time.”

You couldn’t thank him because his intention wasn’t particularly pleasing to the ears. It was more of a possessive act that didn’t make you impressed, but you were grateful that he did consider giving you a convenient place to work on your designs. “I appreciate it,” you let him know.

At that point, he softened and embraced you in his arms as if he missed you all day. “We’ll have dinner at that Italian restaurant you like after this.”

You had actually forgotten that your husband had a week-long vacation from work because you were surprised when you woke up the next day to see him still indulging in a deep sleep at eight in the morning. You didn’t give him small kisses on the cheek like you used to when you woke him up for work, instead deciding to start your morning routine by yourself. Whether having him for a whole week was a good thing or not, you tried not to let his presence ruin your plans. Tuesday was a special day because you promised to hang out with your dad who even took a day off his schedule just to see you again.

The reason why you avoided your father recently was because you didn’t have the courage to face him after finding out about your heart’s diagnosis. You weren’t ready to lie and hide the fact that there was a possibility that you could end up like your mom, knowing that it would be the greatest agony that you could ever put your dad through. Somehow, the days you’ve spent without seeing your father gave you peace of mind until you were finally prepared to act normal around him.

Horseback riding was his favorite recreational activity and it had been a long time since you’ve seen your beautiful rare-breed white horse with blue eyes that you loved dearly ever since you were a kid. You never paid attention to how much Willow resembled Satoru until you saw your husband petting your horse as soon as you visited the stable. It wasn’t your intention to invite him, but it was the least you could do to show some form of gratitude for his gesture of giving you your own fashion studio. Besides, your father wanted to see his son-in-law and you would never oppose that.

Nonetheless, you still ignored your husband’s remarks of how sexy you looked in an equestrian attire, but you couldn’t ignore him when he decided to ride the horse together with you. Poor Willow for having to carry the two of you on her back. In your attempt to comfort your beautiful mare, you gave her soft pats on the head while Satoru held the reins, urging her for a gallop.

“Did you miss mommy, Willow?” you cooed at the horse, gaining her gentle neigh. Your baby talks were probably embarrassing, but you didn’t care as you showered your mare with affection.

Gojou, who momentarily stiffened behind you upon hearing how you referred to yourself, steered the horse slower along the green fields. “Daddy misses mommy, too,” he mumbled, sulking. And with his chin on your shoulder, he maneuvered Willow to slow down.

Your heart was thumping louder in your chest in the same rhythm as your husband’s heartbeat that vibrated on your back. No, you refused to submit to his words of affection. Your trusting nature was the main reason why you’ve been hurting throughout your marriage and you couldn’t let it further widen the crevices in your heart. Shaking the thought away, you gripped the reins tighter and replied, “You should have gotten a separate horse.”

“I wanted to ride with you.”

“Then, ride with your own horse.”

His deep breath slithered through your ear. Was he losing his patience? Good. Even better. At least, if he was back to being unreasonably rude like in the beginning of your marriage, it would be easier for you to keep your distance from him. But with Gojou’s resolute mien, he stayed consistent in trying to win you back. “Do you remember when we used to ride our ponies back then?” he asked, reminiscing memories of your childhood like a distant dream. “Willow was just as close to Eight as we were.”

Ah, Eight. His black horse who had unfortunately passed away a couple of years ago. You did recall that you often rode together as kids and that you would have smiles on your faces until dusk after taking a journey into the woods. You often sneaked out with your ponies and came back being reprimanded by your head nannies, but Satoru would always cover for you claiming that it was his idea when it had been originally yours. He was a sweet, romantic child and thinking about the old Satoru was only hurting you.

This Satoru didn’t love you the same anymore.

“Yeah,” you said after a while, allowing for the awkward air to surround the two of you. Thankfully, you heard the steady clopping of another horse and saw your father grinning as he managed to keep up with you. “Hey, dad!”

He pulled the reins to slow the animal down. “I had to make him run laps. How are you two enjoying it so far?”

Satoru placed a hand on your waist. “I think Willow’s very happy to see her again.” You noted how easy it was for your husband to woo your father’s approval just because he had always seen him as if he was his own child. “Dad, were you able to receive the invitation for the anniversary?”

Your father’s gaze remained on your husband. “Yes. Fifty-years, was it? It must be a grand celebration.”

You were initially confused, but quickly picked up that they were conversing about the Gojou Group’s 50th Anniversary. It was a huge event that would take place at the InterContinental with a rough estimate of five hundred guests ranging from the regular employees to the most notable executives. You figured that this was where they would also formally announce the merger which was why your father’s presence was heavily required.

“Gen will be in Cancún that day, right?” you chimed in, unknowingly resting your back on your husband’s toned chest who then took the chance to wrap a tighter arm around you.

Satisfied with the sight of your romance, your father nodded his head and answered, “I’m afraid, yes. She’s been looking forward to the trip for the past two months so she can’t attend the event, but I will be there.”

You could feel Satoru’s smile even if you couldn’t see his face. “It’d be a pleasure to see you there, dad.”

“Of course, son.” The curve of your father’s eyes brought relief to your soul. Whenever you saw how happy and content he was, you were always given a sense of the same felicity because you grew up in a household where love was constantly shown. Your father must have hoped that you would have the same dynamic in your own family one day when the time comes where you would have to raise your children with your spouse. “I’m glad to see that you two maintained a good relationship from then until now. Something tells me that Satoru is a romantic husband.”

You wanted to spitefully laugh. Instead, you looked away and forced a smile. “He’s so sweet that he makes me cry.”

With that, your husband found his silence, stunned by the sarcasm in your words.

On the third day of his week-long vacation leave, it was Gojou’s idea to drag you to the mall after he spent the whole morning working out at the gym. You couldn’t deny that there was extreme sexual tension between the two of you when he came back to the penthouse, faced flushed red and torso glistening with sweat, while you were stepping out of the shower with nothing but a towel wrapped around your body. You didn’t know how long it had been since he had gotten laid, but you weren’t really yearning for intimacy as much as he did.

You remained stubborn with your decision not to sleep with him despite his constant attempt at spoiling you with affection. You also denied his kisses and received his puppy-like expression whenever you rejected his advances. He must be bipolar.

Did he think that you were punishing him? Frankly, this wasn’t even a form of punishment or rebellion. He should realize that you were rejecting him because you simply wanted to achieve your goal of staying detached. You were still uncertain of what you wanted with this marriage, but the less you cared about Satoru, the easier it would be to walk away when the perfect opportunity came.

You hoped, by the time it happened, all parties involved wouldn’t be as hurt and broken the same way you would be.

Gojou must not have noticed how you were lost in trance while the two of you walked around the mall, supposedly spending the day shopping and luxuriating on high end brands. He asked you a couple of times already if there was anything specific that you wanted—even going as far as taking you to Chanel and telling the sales staff to display the latest pieces that they had. It seemed that your husband was fully aware of your style because he knew exactly which pieces were fitting to your taste.

“You would look so elegant in this, Mrs. Gojou!” one of the sales staff praised just as your husband grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers together. Unknown to him, you were silently thinking of the day when the staff from Givenchy mistook you as ‘Mrs. Zen’in’, and since then, the name has been an inside joke between you and Toji.

Toji… You hoped that he was doing well wherever he may be at the moment. You’ve seen his recent post on Instagram where he spent a day in Disneyland with Megumi and the twins, acting as the cool guardian to the youngest in their household. You admired just how fatherly he was to them and wondered if Satoru would have that kind of bond with his kids in the future, too. Probably not in the near future since you didn’t exactly carry his child yet.

“Can you make sure my wife gets the best stock?” Satoru instructed as if he was a king ordering his subordinates to ensure that you would receive only what a queen should. While saying this, he looked down at you and tugged at your hand so he could pull you into his chest. “Let me get you anything you want.”

Buying things appeared to be Satoru’s love language. Either that or he was just doing it out of guilt. You didn’t want to make it seem like you were easily swayed by material things so you made an effort to clarify, “I’ll pay for them with my own money.”

Okay, well, maybe you sounded a little too pompous with your chosen words but you definitely didn’t mean to put it that way. Fortunately, your husband understood your underlying intentions. “It’s okay. It’s a gift from me.”

Was he hoping to see the same wife who excitedly presented the Chanel cardigan back when you were en route to Iceland? You clearly remembered being enthusiastic over the trip and all he would reply was ‘whatever’ and that you should leave him alone.

Since you couldn’t turn down this one ‘gift’, you’ve decided that it was best to tell him that you were already satisfied with what you had back home and that he didn’t have to bother trying to purchase things that would only lessen the space in your already extensive wardrobe. Without listening to your appeal, he still took you inside the Rolex store and immediately looked for the most expensive pair that they currently had. Lo and behold were the couple watches in oystersteel, everose gold and diamonds that put a satisfied grin on your husband’s face. Because he looked so excited and happy, you couldn’t stop him when he removed your smartwatch and replaced it with the Rolex to see if it would look good around your wrist.

His was of the same color scheme and design, but was bigger and thicker befitting for a gentleman. Satoru was strangely giddy about having matching watches with you and you couldn’t tell if it was an act or if his actions were laced with genuineness. Either way, he was not informed that the smartwatch had more purpose in your life than the overly luxurious one that he just purchased, but you’ve decided that letting him know about the true functions of your seemingly plain smartwatch would be saved for another day.

“You didn’t have to, but thanks,” you spoke to him with hesitance strained in your eyes.

The diamond blues of his were staring at you with a sad glint that screamed ‘Can I at least get a kiss?’ You silently wished that he could stop this nonsense in front of other people, but still gave in and pecked his soft lips, earning the fluttering eyes and dreamy smiles of the lovely staff. “Anything for my wife.”

He was trying too hard. Way too hard that it was becoming suspicious. Did he do anything more hurtful than running after Sera that day at the bowling alley? There was no way for you to know because the man was taciturn about his lover, whose name never left his mouth ever since the week started. You wouldn’t put it past him to do unforgivable things while faking all the sweet gestures that he had been showing you for the past few days, because Satoru was the one responsible for your newfound trust issues.

The little shopping date would have ended after he purchased the Rolex watches, but something caught your eye when you walked past Louis Vuitton and saw the most exquisite pair of men’s lace-up leather shoes that you recognized as the famous Manhattan Richelieu. It was black in color and had waxed alligator leather, molded with classic stitch patterns and detailed perforations. It was upscale, elegant, and very fitting for a man with expensive European tastes. Before you knew it, you were already sauntering inside the store with your gaze set on the shoes that were displayed in a glass box. The first thing you did was to ask if they had available sizes or if it could be custom-made and the sales staff informed you by responding with the latter. It was still a good thing, though. At least you were given the option to fully customize the shoes.

Aside from that, you rarely checked the price tag, but you saw that the shoes were worth an astounding three million yen.

Great. It was perfect. “Could you please make sure that you wrap it very nicely?”

The lady paid your husband a quick glance and saw him looking through the racks of business suits that seemed to have gained his interest. “Maybe we can have Mr. Gojou try the shoes first?”

You offered a smile and shook your head. “No, it’s for a friend of mine,” you explained. “Kindly register the shoes under Mr. Toji Zen’in, please.”

On the last day of Satoru’s work-free week, he couldn’t spend it with you.

You figured that it was perhaps because you purchased a very expensive shoes for Toji一someone he hated with all his might一as he spent the whole night throwing a child-like tantrum, sulking like a baby, but also looking extremely hurt and offended. He couldn’t show those exact emotions in front of the LV employees, but exploded like a volcano as soon as you came back to the penthouse. He saved his pride by not complaining at the fact that you bought those specific shoes for someone else, but more so because it wasn’t a good image for someone’s wife to purchase gifts for another man. By following his logic, you mentioned that it overlapped with how he bought a rare pair of Princess Diana’s Jimmy Choo shoes for another woman, and that was how the whole argument ended.

Satoru had no other choice but to eat his own irony.

However, that didn’t seem to be the reason why he couldn’t spend his Friday morning with you. Despite the immaturity he showed the night prior, you admit deep inside that you felt bad for unintentionally hurting him just because you wanted to repay a kind friend with a well-deserved gift. Your husband acted better that morning, although still upset, he helped you out in cooking breakfast and cleaning the dishes after. The only thing he mentioned was that he had important appointments to deal with and that you could just spend a movie night together once he came back.

“It’s alright,” you affirmed, carefully placing the china set back into the cupboard. “I have an appointment, too. Please don’t send your bodyguards after me if you don’t want us to fight.”

His sigh was loud and heavy just as his shoulders were slumped. It was true一you did have an appointment with your doctor, but you couldn’t let him know about that. He was oddly not as inquisitive today either, so you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or not. Strangely, Satoru hugged you from behind and kissed your cheek lovingly as if he was afraid that you would suddenly disappear from his sight. It didn’t help that his eyes were of the lonely shade of blue.

What was going through his head?

“I’ll see you tonight?” His smile was forced as if it was a mask and his voice sounded almost like he was nervous. “I promise I’ll come back to you as soon as I sort everything out.”

You had no idea what kind of appointment he was talking about, but he left that morning before you did. He also drove his McLaren instead of having Ijichi to drive for him in a sedan. Well, that appointment must not be about business if he took his personal car with him. Did Satoru think that you were stupid not to notice? Wherever he was going, you didn’t care anymore. You had to focus on yourself now that you had space to breathe away from his suffocating presence. If you came to the hospital with difficulties in breathing, it would be a pain to try and explain that it wasn’t exactly because of your angina, but because of your personal matters with your husband.

As much as you disliked being in hospitals, it was becoming second nature for you to visit Dr. Mori regularly because he needed constant updates about the improvements you’ve made since your last visit.

“Have you been stress-free lately?” You knew that would be the first question that would leave his mouth as soon as you sat down.

You couldn’t lie to a doctor, so you responded with an apologetic smile. “I am less stressed, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.”

He nodded his head, humming as he wrote on his pad. “Any notable changes with the discomfort in your chest? I need to know this so I can see if we need to change your prescribed medicines.”

“The medicines do help a lot. I tried the GTN spray for the first time and I managed to recover from an attack after a few minutes.”

Dr. Mori squinted his eyes at the mention of a recent angina attack but understood that it really could not be prevented straight away. “Alright, make sure that you keep a healthy diet with limited amounts of saturated fat. Add more fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean meats, and low-fat dairy products in your everyday meals. If your medications and diet won’t help, I might have you consider an angioplasty and stenting.”

The whole follow-up appointment with your doctor was him giving you options in case the medications and the lifestyle changes didn’t work—it wasn’t to scare you, but rather to reassure you that you weren’t going to die just because you had this specific heart condition. After retelling the medical history of your mother, Dr. Mori could see why you have been anxious about your health because the thought of having to go through the same fate as your mom was indeed inducing your stress along with other factors such as your inconsistent relationship with your husband. You spared him of the details concerning your marriage, although he must have had an idea that it could be related to family conflicts because he suggested that you should bring your spouse so that he would be aware of your situation.

For now, you declined.

Though you were swallowed by the thought of how things would be if Satoru was actually aware of your illness. What would it be like to have him accompany you to your medical appointments? How would things change between you two if he knew that you lived with a fragile heart? Before all the comfort that he may or may not provide, you were sure that he would first be consumed by guilt and affliction for having realized that he had some contribution in exacerbating your hereditary illness. You might be too ahead of yourself for thinking that Satoru would even feel guilty when he wouldn’t ever be half as concerned with you than he was with his lover.

Your thoughts came to a sudden halt. The world must be playing its cruel games with you.

Because while you were walking through the hallways of the hospital, you spotted the familiar tousled ivory hair from a distance that stretched you and your husband several meters apart. He was sitting on one of the benches, pulling on his hair with one hand with his elbows on his knees as he frantically waited outside of Ieiri’s office. He looked completely distressed and unsettled as if he was foreseeing an impending doom.

Did he find out that you were here and he followed you to make sure that you weren’t cheating?

You continued to approach him. “Satoru—”

But as you faintly called for his name, the next few seconds that passed had your feet glued to the ground. Your body froze and turned you into solid ice. While you fell static from where you stood, your face bathed in shock as you saw Sera walking out of the OB-GYN clinic.

It all suddenly clicked to you.

Everything made sense.

Unnoticed on the side, you watched in despair as Satoru rushed to Sera before facing Ieiri who had just come out of her clinic after following your husband’s mistress. You recognized the atmosphere that surrounded them and your initial reaction was to emit a soundless laugh. Why? Because it was funny. Hilarious. Spectacular. They have continuously made a fool out of you as your sole purpose to them was to be a comic relief. Your life was a joke that you constantly had to be reminded of how you were just an extra in their fairytale romance.

My husband has gotten his mistress pregnant.

There was no other way to conclude this situation, and it was the rightful slap that would wake you up to the reality you and him were never once meant to be.

Tears had long fallen before you could stop them. They cascaded from your eyes like waterfall as every second was a punch to your gut and a hammer to your chest.

Your heart. Your heart was suffering. Your heart was screaming and crying. Your heart—pulverized into bits, covered in flames, and left in ashes.

You were running to the opposite side of the hallways without much thought to your surroundings and the worried eyes that followed your movements. You ignored the beeping noise that blasted from your watch, because you already knew it yourself that your heart was beating at an abnormally fast pace.

No, you didn’t stop running out of the hospital until you reached the parking lot with a heavy breath, but you couldn’t get into your car because your legs had already failed you. You were crouching on the floor with your hand pressed on the window and another holding your chest. There, you muffled a sob and covered your mouth to silence your agony. You repeatedly pounded your chest with your fist as the pain trapped you into an endless void.

You knew that this would happen, but why did it hurt so much?

Flashback — Bowling Alley, Parking Lot

“Sera!”

Because Gojou had long legs, he was able to catch up to a weeping Sera who ran out of the place after hearing her lover declare that he wanted his wife in front of everyone else. She felt betrayed, hurt, and furious at how this all seemed like a setup to make her feel pain. Her fists naturally tightened as she remembered how confident you looked when you gathered everyone in the same place. ‘That’s what it is!’ she thought, stopping in her tracks as she realized it. ‘She invited me because she wanted to humiliate me!’

How cruel and vile could you be? This was definitely your true colors and you were finally unsheathing your snake skin to reveal just how awful of a woman you were. You manipulated Satoru into thinking that he wanted you all because you had the wealth and power. You seduced him into thinking that he no longer felt the need to be intimate with her all because you were a selfish bitch who couldn’t stand being replaced by someone who was of lesser fortune.

‘Who do you think you are? Satoru belonged to me before you even appeared in his life!’

“Bitch!” she exclaimed, wiping her tear-stained cheeks as she imagined the lopsided smirk on your ugly face. If not for your money, no one would be interested in you.

“Sera,” once again, Satoru called for her name and pulled her by her arm. Instead of comfort, there was nothing but ire in his countenance. “Did you have to make a scene like that?!”

With her temper, she pushed him on the chest and cried more. “How dare you! How dare you say you want her!”

It hurt even worse when she could read through the expression on Gojou’s face that he was tired and that he wasn’t going to fight for their love anymore. No, no, this can’t be!

“Sera,” he spoke sullenly, “I know I made promises for us, I know I’m responsible for keeping you in this relationship, I know everything’s my fault and that you’re just caught in between, but… us… we can’t be together anymore. I’m married and I know that it was for business, but I realized that I—”

Tears blurred her vision as she expected the next words that would come out of his mouth, so she stopped him by pushing his chest yet again. “Don’t even say that to me!”

“This isn’t right anymore!” He looked at her with pity in his eyes—pity that she didn’t ask for. “Sera, you’re a wonderful woman to me and I’m sure you’ll meet someone that will appreciate you better than I will.”

No. No, no, no. Never in a million years could she find someone like him.

“When I hurt my wife, I hurt myself, too.” Gojou’s chest rose and fell through heavy breaths. “It’s only recently that I realized it. I want her. I wanna be with her. I can’t think straight when I’m not with her.”

Laughable. He was saying this now, but she remembered his words very clearly, and how much he insulted you behind your back. He hated you, he didn’t love you, he was meant to leave you behind.

Sera knew that this wasn’t the real Satoru that she loved and she was desperate to bring him back. Whatever spell he was in, he had to snap the hell out of it.

“I’m gonna kill myself if you break up with me. I-I can’t do this alone,” she said through gritted teeth, chest heaving as more tears left her eyes. “I’m late, Satoru. Take responsibility for me and our baby.”

Normally, it would be a man’s absolute joy to hear that the woman he deeply loved was carrying his child. He would express happiness through joyful tears, screams, and exchanging kisses. He would tell her how much he loved her and that he was looking forward to starting a family together, promising a new life ahead and a love that would last forevermore. Sera wanted him to show all of these reactions, but the look of horror in his face utterly destroyed her.

Satoru was having a mental breakdown as he was at a loss of words, throwing his head back for a moment before gazing down at her hopelessly. “Sera, you can’t be fucking lying to me right now.”

“But I missed my period!” she screamed at his face. ‘Isn’t that enough proof?’ She released more tears which soon elicited his sympathetic sigh.

“I’m sorry, we can’t,” he told her, brutally candid. “We can’t have a baby. Please, Sera. It’s best if we don’t.”

She clenched her jaws tightly. “You can’t decide for me!”

There wasn’t anything much to see in Satoru’s face except for his resolute denial. Denial, regret, restlessness—all but a paroxysm of negative emotions. It seemed like he didn’t trust her words as he began to suggest, “I’ll get Ieiri to check on you and confirm that you’re actually pregnant. I need concrete proof.”

Panicking, Sera shifted into a softer stance but still teared up withal. “I…I’ll be busy.”

“Then, we can fit it into your schedule,” he insisted, looking as if he would lose his mind thinking about what would happen to their lives had it turned out to be true. Sera was absolutely disgusted to see the man that he became and how much you ruined him.

You ruined what they had and Sera would make sure that you would pay for it.

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