He'll Be Fine. He'll Just Make A Portal And Turn It Into An Endless Skydiving Simulator.

He'll be fine. He'll just make a portal and turn it into an endless skydiving simulator.

so my friend sent me the greatest image on earth

Dumb Vocaloid Headcanons Part 1: Internet Co.

All

Andriods/robots of various levels of human resemblance

Voicebank upgrades correspond to hardware upgrades.

Primarily made for music, but they also have combat skills.

Each one has a unique music-related weapon/ability, which I'll elaborate on in another post. (I got this idea from the manga Megu Megu Singer Song Fighter. It's...an experience. Kinda chaotic, and the translation I found isn't always the clearest, but it's cute, harmless fun focused on the first few Internet Co. Vocaloids. If you want to see himbo Gackpo in a fundoshi, this is the manga for you.)

Generally get along well with the Cryptonloids

One huge, generally happy family

Camui Gackpo (Gackpoid)

The most robotic/android-like of the bunch in terms of physical structure, but good gosh, does he have feelings

His "bodysuit" is just what his body looks like (he can morph it into a more human-looking appearance, though), and that weird glowy spot on his chest is his power core.

Can change his eye and power core colors at will

Has a whole army of eggplant horses

A chivalrous gentleman, but he has his goofy moments

An expert in hair care

Cishet ally

Dating/in love with GUMI

GUMI (Megpoid)

Huge science and sci-fi nerd

Has a visible battery gauge on each of her designs, which takes the form of a red jewel. It blinks when her battery is running low. (another idea from Megu Megu Singer Song Fighter)

BFFs with Miku, Luka, Lily, and CUL

Owns a carrot rocket equipped with missiles

Her goggles have several functions, including night vision, tracking, and looking cool.

Lives for the aesthetics of the 1960s-1980s

A little bit scatterbrained, but she tries

Hoping that everyone else (or at least Gackpo and Una) joins her on VOCALOID6 and gets an AI voicebank

Bisexual

Dating/in love with Gackpo

Lily

Beta/production name was Yuripoid (not actually, but in my headcanon). This didn't stick for multiple reasons.

Her tattoo doubles as a battery meter, "draining" from top to bottom as her power depletes.

Likes lollipops (yet another idea from Megu Megu Singer Song Fighter)

The "cool older sister" of the group

Infamous for speeding on her motorcycle

Keeps a couple of beehives, from which she harvests honey

Demi/heteroromantic asexual

Exchanges makeup tips with Gackpo

Ryuto (Gachapoid)

Obsessed with dinosaurs, to the point where he has memorized every species

Basically GUMI's little brother

His arm warmers serve to make his elbow joints slightly less obvious; his shoes do the same thing for his ankles.

Favorite meal is dino nuggies with waffle fries

Friends with Yuki and Oliver

Really wants a pet puppy

Favorite holiday is Halloween

Big fan of FNAF, even if it scares him sometimes

A little bit self-conscious about his buck teeth

Always carries a notebook and markers with him in his backpack

CUL

Huge Madoka Magica fan; cried at Sayaka's death

Doesn't always get along with her sisters, but she loves them all dearly

Gets into arguments with Gackpo over who "stole" the other's hairstyle

Her eyes double as cameras

Favorite foods are Pocky and tempura shrimp

Shops exclusively at thrift stores and Hot Topic

Knows all the jokes about her name's meaning in French; not amused at all

Lesbian; has a bit of a crush on flower

Secretly collects porcelain dolls

galaco

Huge space nerd

Loves to nerd out over space with GUMI

Has always wanted to be a princess

Has jet boots; can use them to float in place or skate around

The first one to lack any visibly robotic traits

BFFs with MAYU

Loves listening to video game soundtracks

Aroace

Plays a lot of TF2 in her spare time; mains Demoman

kokone

Kind of shy, especially around new people

Huge book nerd; favorite genre is fantasy

LOVES animals

Favorite food is raindrop cake

Surprisingly big fan of horror movies

Gets cold easily

Likes to do prank phone calls with GUMI; they switch places periodically, pretending to be the same person

Trans girl (pronouns are she/her); polysexual

Wants to write and illustrate her own manga series

Rana

Technically developed by We've Inc. as a collab with Internet Co., but since she's the only one from We've Inc, the Internet Co. crew includes her as one of their own.

Really wants to be a magical girl; has designed her own weapon and transformation device

Has a massive collection of teddy bears

Practically lives in her hoodie

Feels a bit weird about being literally 0 years old, but tries to ignore it

Sugar cookies make her life worth living

Carries a variety of glitter with her at all times

Chika

The mom friend

Has regular lunch outings with Mew and MEIKO

A talented tailor

Lives for vintage clothing

Has an entire cupboard full of various herbal teas

A little bit disappointed about her unpopularity, but she has mostly accepted it at this point

Tends a butterfly garden

Cishet ally

Really good at cooking and baking

Otomachi Una

Her hat is alive.

Views Rana as a rival; Rana doesn't really care

Looks up to GUMI

Can hold her breath for ten minutes

Tends a koi pond

Loves to experiment with different hair dyes

Sometimes wears fake glasses for the sake of fashion

Owns a swimmable mermaid tail (fades from indigo to lime green, then cotton candy pink); loves showing it off

Just beginning to question her sexuality

Will eat every piece of cheesecake in a five mile radius

ROSA

A CeVIO/upcoming SynthV vocal rather than a Vocaloid, but since she was made in collaboration with Internet Co. and CUL is her older sister, she hangs out with the Internet Co. crew often

Gets along well with Gackpo for their shared love of traditional Japanese culture

Insists that she "was born in the wrong generation"

Loves rose-flavored macarons, but her favorite food is salmon nigiri

Gets picked on by some of her older sisters, so she has learned to be a bit sassy as a defense mechanism

Genderfaer (pronouns are she/her and occasionally they/them); pansexual

In the process of collecting all of the Vocaloid Nendoroids (except the Miku ones; there are way too many)

some of the headcanons i have are so innocuous but they weigh on my mind all the same

I chose PBS Kids, but I also have fond memories of Crashbox (which I think was HBO). I thought it was just a fever dream for a while, but nope, it was a real show. Who else remembers Crashbox?

im excited to get top surgery bc oh blah blah disphoria back pain slouching not a girl but mainly because i have been planning for over a year a joke thats about to pay off:

my family does not know i am getting surgery so i made sure to get all the same bathings suits i wore last year in a new size and just straight up gas light my aunt about it

Genesis, Slaughter, Truth

...Have I been possessed by some eldritch god/biblically accurate angel/Purple Guy?