Dark Paradise

Dark paradise

Short story about Jake's life after Hannah was found.

warnings: Jake's POV, mention of sex, slightly different version of Jake that you rarely see here

*3 years after finding Hannah*

Tired, I opened the door and a pleasant smell entered my nostrils. Home. It smelled like home. That was a pleasant mix of the smell of dinner being cooked, the warmth, and the plants she cared so much for. Exactly, she was the reason that I could call this apartment home. Her perfume, scent and presence weresomething to call these four empty walls home.

With a sigh, I hung my coat on the rack and headed towards the kitchen, where I could hear the faint clinking of pots. I stood in the doorway, leaning my shoulder against the doorframe and crossing my arms over my chest. I watched with delight as my fiancée stood with her back to me, stirred something in the pot and at the same time rocked to the song that was played from the loudspeaker. The corner of my mouth went up as I recognized it as "Hips don't lie" by Shakira. MC was wearing my gray sweatpants and a black T-shirt with the word GHOSTBUSTER engraved on the back that I had given her for Christmas. I had an identical one. She wiggled her hips and sang one of her favorite songs, oblivious to my presence. She was too focused on cooking and dancing to hear me open the door. I loved seeing her like this. When she didn't care about anything at all, when she was completely happy and devoted. I loved the way she moved her body because damn. She did it damn well.

And that really made me want to learn to speak Spanish.

Finally, the young woman turned to reach for the plate on the table. When her eyes landed on me, she jumped up and screamed softly. My smile only grew bigger, so I moved towards her to place the sweet kiss on her lips that I had been craving all morning. MC turned around and turned off the speaker, then turned back to me. She placed a hand on her chest, trying to control her breathing.

– Christ, Jake. Don't scare me like that unless you want me to have a heart attack before we get married. – she said and I leaned in to kiss her. Her lips tasted the same. They were sweet and addictive. Her hair was shiny and soft. They smelled like the shampoo she'd used for as long as I could remember. Her skin was smooth and so silky that I wanted to melt into it forever. Her beautiful eyes were filled with love and tenderness. She was my mainstay of safety.

– Never. First you will be my wife, and then I will scare you every day as long as you wait for me here. – I murmured into her mouth which made her giggle

– Two more months, Mr. Donfort, and then we'll be married. – she replied and kissed me. Hot and passionately.

I pushed her to sit on the counter. She immediately wrapped her legs around my waist and I started hungrily devour her neck. Oh my god how much I adored her. I loved her whole, more and more every day if that was even possible. Moans came out of her mouth and I felt my own erection. Soon she grabbed my hair and pulled hard to tear me away from her skin, which made me look at her a bit hazy.

– First dinner, then dessert. – she said, smiling slyly. – I can't wait for you to tell me about your day at work.

That was our daily routine. I came home from work and she was waiting for me. We talked about our days, listening to each other with delight. It felt like a dream.

– Living with you is a dream I never want to wake up from.

She leaned down to my lips an..

I woke up abruptly.

I looked half-consciously around the room I was in. It was dark. The only light that illuminated it came from the computer in front of me. I groaned softly as I realized how hurt I was. I must have fallen asleep in the chair at the laptop where I was working to confuse my pursuers.I froze, breathing quickly and shallowly as fragments of my dream began to reach me. I clenched my jaw and fists, remembering literally everything. Damn it! It was so good already. It was getting better, I didn't think about her as much as before. The last dream or daydream about her was three days ago.

For the past three days, I've been free from memories of her.

And now it's all started all over again. My loneliness made itself felt again. I felt like I was dead, I believed I was in purgatory, and my punishment was her. MC. The girl who's been stalking me almost every night and day for the last five fucking years.

As I stood in front of the mirror in a dingy motel bathroom across the globe from her, I felt self-hatred and disgusted. I was so weak. Five years ago I wrote to her that I was at her mercy. After all these years, nothing has changed. She still had me and I hated it so much. After what happened in the mine, I never wrote to her again. Throughout the search for Hannah, I knew this moment would come. I knew that eventually I would have to break her heart, break her whole, but I kept pushing our relationship further and further. It was incredible nice feeling, after all these years, to feel that someone cares about you. I was totally addicted to it and couldn't stop it. At first I tried to fight this feeling, but eventually I gave up. I knew that I wasn't able to give her safety and I couldn't let her run away with me. I was the asshole who confessed his love to her and then left her without even saying goodbye.

I'm weak, I thought as my fist hit the mirror. The glass shattered into millions of pieces, hurting my hands, but even that pain was nothing compared to my still bleeding heart.

* * *

The next night the dreams came again. I woke up drenched afterwards. My hands and my whole body were shaking. I immediately drank half a bottle of water and then vomited all morning. It was worse than usual because I remembered that I hadn't eaten anything in over two days. It's been a long time since I felt such pain in my stomach, when all I was throwing out was bile and saliva. I spent over 2 hours lying on the cold tiles. I lost consciousness a few times and I think I had a fever. There was nothing I could do to help myself. Barely alive, after closing my eyes, over the toilet bowl, I saw her face in my mind. I started vomiting again. How romantic.

When I had recovered a bit, I swallowed a handful of pills I found in my backpack. Some of them were just painkillers and others were something I couldn't even name. I needed some drugs to be able to ensure my survival.

Quickly looking at how far away my pursuers were, I called Mercedes. The government was far enough away that I could afford a little pleasure while still in Colville. Mercedes was something of a prostitute with whom I had quite a long relation. Whenever I was around, I would meet her when I needed a... distraction.

The woman immediately agreed. I heard a knock on the door not even an hour later. Our clothes quickly ended up on the floor because girl didn't bother to talk. Neither do I. Sex with her was the same as always. No. Today was better, best of all the times I've had sex with Mercedes ever. I felt better because I was thinking of someone else when I was fucking her.

I was thinking about the fucking MC.

Mercedes smirked slightly as she put her skimpy clothes back on. She was smoking a cigarette while I tossed her money for her service. I was feeling fucking sick again, and I couldn't get the bile taste out of my throat.

Mercedes left, but this time she didn't say she loved my body like she always did. This time she gave me a mocking smirk so that next time I wouldn't call her MC, and today I reportedly did it six times.

I definetely needed more drugs. Or alcohol. Or their mixtures.

"Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine

But I wish I was dead

Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side" — Lana Del Rey

Feelings for which there are no words to describe it.

Without you

A short story about Richy's funeral and how MC is coping after the mine fire.

warnings: mention JakexMC, mental breakdown, slight sexual abuse

I stared blankly at the group of people standing in front of me. Nothing caught my attention, all the colors washed into one, and time didn't seem to pass at all. He stopped, but already a week ago. A week ago when I first heard the "MC, the mine blew up. They found a man's body." My cheeks were dry because I wasn't crying anymore. It seemed to me that I got rid of all the water from my body that I had in me.

And when the bronze coffin was lowered into the deep grave, I heard something that I will never forget for the rest of my life. I heard a loud sob that was similar to the moan of a wounded animal that is fighting with all its might to survive. I looked towards the sound and saw a red-haired girl who was clutched by a taller and bigger bearded man. I tensed my whole body and face to stay in place so as not to walk over to her and take her in my arms. Jessy's fregile body trembled with spasms of desperate crying as Dan tried to hold her still. My Jessy, who I always associated with smile, warmth and determination, was now the definition of surrender. And that broke me the most, because why was fate so cruel that it took away even the greatest ray of happiness we had left?

The coffin fell down and was covered with earth. People will remember him as a cheerful and playful mechanic who could always make you feel better. I wasn't sure how I would remember him. Right now, it was just a taste of betrayal I had never experienced before.

My arms were folded over my chest, I stood there with a stony face as my mind stormed. No, it was a typhoon. Murderous and merciless. All I wanted was to silence all these thoughts and go to sleep. To be unaware of all the fuss and chaos for at least one hour. One hour of peace, is that much? But my brain wouldn't give up. It still flooded me with thoughts and anxiety. Jake. What has become of him? Did he die in the mine, and if so, where was his body? If he got away, did the FBI catch him? And they did, I was sure of it. Did they just kill him? Or worse, were they torturing him? I was replaying our last conversation. I love you. He confessed it to me. He actually told me he loved me and I replied the same to him. God, I would give anything to turn back time and stop him from saying those words. Maybe then it would hurt less.

My God, I would give anything to turn back time, get my way and go into that mine alone instead of letting him go there. He wasn't supposed to die there.

– So you showed up.

I turned to a female voice I didn't know yet. However, I immediately recognized the woman standing in front of me. Missing Hannah Donfort stood before me as if nothing had happened.

– Hi, Hannah. Nice to finally meet you. – I made an effort to be friendly but I honestly didn't feel like talking to either of them. Well, maybe except Jessy, because only she could understand what I felt at that moment. I felt a special bond between me, Jessy, and Richy. It wasn't a big deal, but it was ours. Our little something that gave me a certain sense of belonging to their group.I scanned the people around her.

Seeing them all was very strange and almost stressful, because our contact so far was only by phone. Thomas was standing next to her, giving me a not-so-pleasant look. In fact, he almost always had that look on his face, so I wasn't too concerned. After all, I didn't like him much after all the stupid things he'd done while looking for his girlfriend.

On the other side of her, I recognized her sister, Lilly. Our relationship was... dynamic. From a lot of hatred to a quite successful friendship, the only thing that separated us was solving the puzzle together with Jake. The blonde gave me a soft smile and I couldn't help but wonder if Jake's smile would be similar to hers? Did the color of her eyes resemble his? Did the warmth of her gaze even remotely reflect his? They were half siblings after all, they must have had something in common. Lilly seems to have sensed that I was thinking of a hacker because her face turned violently sad.

And behind them stood Dan, who was still hugging Jessy, but she wasn't crying anymore. The mascara had dried on her cheeks, and she stared at me with the same dull eyes that I had a dozen or so minutes ago. She stared at me and her eyes were so... alien. With one look from her, I understood that our first meeting would be without a smile and a warm hug.

– How dare you come here? – I was snapped out of watching the others by Hannah's sharp question. – Who invited you? What happened wasn't enough for you?

What the fuck?

– What are you talking about, Hannah? – I asked cautiously, my jaw clenching tight

– You think I don't know anything? I know Richy wanted you to come to him. Maybe if you'd done that instead of sending Jake there, they'd both still be alive!

I opened my eyes in amazement, and my blood suddenly began to boil. I looked at them all in disbelief to hear that it was some kind of bad joke, but they stood as they had been standing before. Lilly had her eyes fixed on the ground, Thomas continued to stare at me with his dull and unfavorable gaze, and Jessy, even though she was looking at me, I knew that her heart was somewhere else.

– You know shit. You don't know anything about what really happened, so don't accuse me. – I growled at her, losing patience. The girl I didn't know, and yet to whom I gave the last months of my life, made me mud, and the people I helped didn't even defend me with a single word.

– Oh yeah? So it wasn't like Richy wanted you to come to Duskwood and you agreed to let Jake go instead of you? – she asked in a venomous tone and I fell silent. Because basically that's exactly how it was. – It wasn't like you used him to save your own skin? It wasn't like you knew full well it could kill him and you still agreed to it? It wasn't like you let him die instead of you?

– Shut up. – I mumbled, but she didn't listen to me. She kept stabbing daggers into my bleeding heart. – I said, shut up!

I was breathing fast and my heart was beating mercilessly fast causing a sharp pain in my chest. Nobody interrupted her. They all think I'm the cause of Richy's death. Jake's death.

– And now you're boasting because you think he did it for you? – she asked and I felt myself falling apart. – Do you think he cared about you? He's only been using you the whole time to find me.

I stared at her not understanding a single word. One sentence from her and I knew she was still in love with the hacker. I glanced briefly at Lilly, who shook her head slightly. She did not know.

So why should I pretend I'm okay when I'm not? Should I allow myself to be treated this way by the person for whose search I gave all my strength?

– And you're still in love with the boy who blew you off. – I said dryly. – Hannah, tell me, don't you have at least a little respect not to start an argument in the cemetery right after we buried our friend?!

A dry snort escaped her lips.

– Don't make me laugh, MC. Just accept that you should never get involved in this. If you hadn't, our friends would still be alive.

Once again, surprise flashed across my face. She.. didn't know she sent them my number?

I had enough. It was her game that I wasn't going to play anymore. I moved forward, passing everyone I had called friends before.

– Before you start to accuse me again, ask them how it really was. Go ahead, ask Thomas why I got involved. Ask them how you ruined my life.

Lilly grabbed my hand, but I pulled away from her grip. I couldn't and didn't want to look at them. Not now and never in my life.

* * *

Crowd, sweaty bodies and alcohol. These three things accompanied me that evening. I didn't count the amount of high-proof liquors I drank. They were not colorful, light drinks, but pure vodka, which allowed me to forget faster. Get away from what happened. I danced, wiggling my hips, brushing against random people as neon and flickering lights illuminated my tired face.

At one point I swallowed some colored pills that were given to me - but I didn't care. At that moment, I would swallow anything that would give me a moment of solace. One minute I was dancing with a girl I didn't know, and the next I was pinned against the bathroom wall, kissed by an older man.

My body was sticky from alcohol, sweat and other unknown substances. I felt my hair tangled. At that moment, I only wanted one thing. Death. I wanted to cry. Oh god, I wanted to howl as loud as I could, but not even a single tear ran down my dead face. The man covered my skin with more wet kisses. He alternately drooled my cleavage, neck and shoulders, and I just stared blankly ahead and begged for someone to end it.

I don't know how, but I freed myself from the man's tight grip. Perhaps someone sent me a guardian angel, perhaps someone took pity on the girl who drank too much, and perhaps I regained some strength to oppose him. I didn't remember how I got to the motel room, but I only woke up when I ran into the bathroom. I didn't hesitate - I immediately staggered to the shower.

I clumsily opened the glass door of the cabin, and then my legs refused to obey. I fell onto the white paddling pool, bruising my knees painfully. I put my hands on the glass, trying to get air, but the harder I did, the more I was suffocating. My head throbbed and my body writhed in convulsions of pain. After turning on the tap with water, my hand fell, knocking most of the things off the shelf, making a loud bang. It wasn't important. Feeling the icy water pour over my burning body, I felt as if someone had given me life back.

I sighed, hanging my head, feeling my hair sticking more and more to my forehead. I don't even know when the water started mixing with my tears.

It wasn't like you let him die instead of you?

If you hadn't, our friends would still be alive.

She is right. You are disgustingly selfish. You should die there.

You couldn't handle it so you're off to drink and fuck with some old creep?

You should die there.

A soft, pitiful moan escaped my lips as more trickles began to run down my face. I clenched my trembling fingers against my thighs as hard as I could, crying louder and more wistfully. Nothing mattered to me. Not when I knew I had let the man I loved suffer for me. My lungs refused to obey me, and I felt such a piercing pain that I hadn't felt in a long time. I choked on my own saliva that landed on my chin and hands. At one point, I howled like a wounded animal because I couldn't control it anymore. It was like torture. I begged in my mind for it to end, but absolution never came.

Jake is dead because of you.

I closed my eyes, wrapped my arms around my waist, and screamed again, doubled over. My forehead touched the white paddling pool.

As if behind the fog, I heard someone opening the cabin door. I didn't open my eyes. I closed my eyes tighter when I felt a gentle squeeze on my shoulder, followed by a pleasant smell and warmth emanating from the other person.

– MC, calm down. – he whispered in a trembling voice right into my ear, his trembling fingers running through my wet hair. I pressed my forehead against the hard surface as hard as I could, almost breaking my nails from how hard I pressed them against my skin. – You are safe. I am with you.

– Jake? – I croaked

This voice was like the fulfillment of the most secret desires.

It took me a few long moments to come to my senses. I opened my eyes in an amok, but the vision was very blurry. I blinked slowly.

And when I didn't see anyone there, I felt like someone stab a dagger right through my heart, twirl it hard, then pull it out and leave me to bleed out.

"I've nothing without you

All my dreams and all the lights mean

Nothing without you"

Lana Del Rey

masterlist

JakexMC

Dark Paradise / Jake's life 3 years after Hannah was found.

World where we don't collide / MC's therapy after 5 years since Hannah was found

Without you / Richy's funeral and how MC is coping after the mine fire.

Memories / After receiving an invitation to Hannah and Thomas' wedding, MC tries to get back to her life, but the demons of her past catch up with her faster than she could have expected.

Another Love: this fanfiction will tackle heavy topics such as mental health and violence. there will be sex scenes.

Chapter 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

L.E.S. (smut)

I wanna be yours (smut)

Shameless (smut)

Fourth of July

Favorite crime MWAF!JakexMC

Together

Silence

In the stars

Nobody but us

Lost without you

🔵 - angst, sad

🟠 - fluff

🔴 - mature

Other Duskwood characters:

Partners in crime (HannahxMC)

im starting winter holidays and im gonna be a bit bored so please write a sentence, song title anything and i'll try to write a fanfiction for this

is it boredom talking or is a smut with a sub jake fucking awesome idea