Duskwood Fanfiction - Tumblr Posts

Dark paradise

Short story about Jake's life after Hannah was found.

warnings: Jake's POV, mention of sex, slightly different version of Jake that you rarely see here

*3 years after finding Hannah*

Tired, I opened the door and a pleasant smell entered my nostrils. Home. It smelled like home. That was a pleasant mix of the smell of dinner being cooked, the warmth, and the plants she cared so much for. Exactly, she was the reason that I could call this apartment home. Her perfume, scent and presence weresomething to call these four empty walls home.

With a sigh, I hung my coat on the rack and headed towards the kitchen, where I could hear the faint clinking of pots. I stood in the doorway, leaning my shoulder against the doorframe and crossing my arms over my chest. I watched with delight as my fiancée stood with her back to me, stirred something in the pot and at the same time rocked to the song that was played from the loudspeaker. The corner of my mouth went up as I recognized it as "Hips don't lie" by Shakira. MC was wearing my gray sweatpants and a black T-shirt with the word GHOSTBUSTER engraved on the back that I had given her for Christmas. I had an identical one. She wiggled her hips and sang one of her favorite songs, oblivious to my presence. She was too focused on cooking and dancing to hear me open the door. I loved seeing her like this. When she didn't care about anything at all, when she was completely happy and devoted. I loved the way she moved her body because damn. She did it damn well.

And that really made me want to learn to speak Spanish.

Finally, the young woman turned to reach for the plate on the table. When her eyes landed on me, she jumped up and screamed softly. My smile only grew bigger, so I moved towards her to place the sweet kiss on her lips that I had been craving all morning. MC turned around and turned off the speaker, then turned back to me. She placed a hand on her chest, trying to control her breathing.

– Christ, Jake. Don't scare me like that unless you want me to have a heart attack before we get married. – she said and I leaned in to kiss her. Her lips tasted the same. They were sweet and addictive. Her hair was shiny and soft. They smelled like the shampoo she'd used for as long as I could remember. Her skin was smooth and so silky that I wanted to melt into it forever. Her beautiful eyes were filled with love and tenderness. She was my mainstay of safety.

– Never. First you will be my wife, and then I will scare you every day as long as you wait for me here. – I murmured into her mouth which made her giggle

– Two more months, Mr. Donfort, and then we'll be married. – she replied and kissed me. Hot and passionately.

I pushed her to sit on the counter. She immediately wrapped her legs around my waist and I started hungrily devour her neck. Oh my god how much I adored her. I loved her whole, more and more every day if that was even possible. Moans came out of her mouth and I felt my own erection. Soon she grabbed my hair and pulled hard to tear me away from her skin, which made me look at her a bit hazy.

– First dinner, then dessert. – she said, smiling slyly. – I can't wait for you to tell me about your day at work.

That was our daily routine. I came home from work and she was waiting for me. We talked about our days, listening to each other with delight. It felt like a dream.

– Living with you is a dream I never want to wake up from.

She leaned down to my lips an..

I woke up abruptly.

I looked half-consciously around the room I was in. It was dark. The only light that illuminated it came from the computer in front of me. I groaned softly as I realized how hurt I was. I must have fallen asleep in the chair at the laptop where I was working to confuse my pursuers.I froze, breathing quickly and shallowly as fragments of my dream began to reach me. I clenched my jaw and fists, remembering literally everything. Damn it! It was so good already. It was getting better, I didn't think about her as much as before. The last dream or daydream about her was three days ago.

For the past three days, I've been free from memories of her.

And now it's all started all over again. My loneliness made itself felt again. I felt like I was dead, I believed I was in purgatory, and my punishment was her. MC. The girl who's been stalking me almost every night and day for the last five fucking years.

As I stood in front of the mirror in a dingy motel bathroom across the globe from her, I felt self-hatred and disgusted. I was so weak. Five years ago I wrote to her that I was at her mercy. After all these years, nothing has changed. She still had me and I hated it so much. After what happened in the mine, I never wrote to her again. Throughout the search for Hannah, I knew this moment would come. I knew that eventually I would have to break her heart, break her whole, but I kept pushing our relationship further and further. It was incredible nice feeling, after all these years, to feel that someone cares about you. I was totally addicted to it and couldn't stop it. At first I tried to fight this feeling, but eventually I gave up. I knew that I wasn't able to give her safety and I couldn't let her run away with me. I was the asshole who confessed his love to her and then left her without even saying goodbye.

I'm weak, I thought as my fist hit the mirror. The glass shattered into millions of pieces, hurting my hands, but even that pain was nothing compared to my still bleeding heart.

* * *

The next night the dreams came again. I woke up drenched afterwards. My hands and my whole body were shaking. I immediately drank half a bottle of water and then vomited all morning. It was worse than usual because I remembered that I hadn't eaten anything in over two days. It's been a long time since I felt such pain in my stomach, when all I was throwing out was bile and saliva. I spent over 2 hours lying on the cold tiles. I lost consciousness a few times and I think I had a fever. There was nothing I could do to help myself. Barely alive, after closing my eyes, over the toilet bowl, I saw her face in my mind. I started vomiting again. How romantic.

When I had recovered a bit, I swallowed a handful of pills I found in my backpack. Some of them were just painkillers and others were something I couldn't even name. I needed some drugs to be able to ensure my survival.

Quickly looking at how far away my pursuers were, I called Mercedes. The government was far enough away that I could afford a little pleasure while still in Colville. Mercedes was something of a prostitute with whom I had quite a long relation. Whenever I was around, I would meet her when I needed a... distraction.

The woman immediately agreed. I heard a knock on the door not even an hour later. Our clothes quickly ended up on the floor because girl didn't bother to talk. Neither do I. Sex with her was the same as always. No. Today was better, best of all the times I've had sex with Mercedes ever. I felt better because I was thinking of someone else when I was fucking her.

I was thinking about the fucking MC.

Mercedes smirked slightly as she put her skimpy clothes back on. She was smoking a cigarette while I tossed her money for her service. I was feeling fucking sick again, and I couldn't get the bile taste out of my throat.

Mercedes left, but this time she didn't say she loved my body like she always did. This time she gave me a mocking smirk so that next time I wouldn't call her MC, and today I reportedly did it six times.

I definetely needed more drugs. Or alcohol. Or their mixtures.

"Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine

But I wish I was dead

Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side" — Lana Del Rey

im starting winter holidays and im gonna be a bit bored so please write a sentence, song title anything and i'll try to write a fanfiction for this

World where we don't collide

Short story about MC's therapy after 5 years since Hannah was found

words: 1600

warnings: probably none, maybe a bit mean MC

A shaky breath left my mouth as I opened the door that led to a place I hated with all my heart. But I still went there. Warmth enveloped my body, which was numb from being outside for so long. It was the end of November, and the weather this year was extremely hostile. I walked down the long corridor to see the secretary, who, as usual, was piled high with papers she was tiredly trying to sort through.

I coughed softly, gaining her attention. At first, clearly frightened, she looked up, and when she recognized me, her lips slightly stretched into a small smile.

– Hello, MC. I haven't seen you here in so long that I started to miss that beautiful face. – she said with obvious amusement, which made me lighten up a bit as well

– Yes, it's been a while since my last visit. I replied, playing with the sleeve of my black coat. – Is she free yet?

The woman nodded and went back to her papers. I sighed softly and headed towards the office that had been haunting me for months.

I knocked to make sure it was empty except for the doctor, and when I heard a soft 'come in', I went inside. The white walls matched the gold accessories nicely. Everything about it was exactly as I remembered, and I hadn't been there for the past two months. My gaze moved over every square millimeter of the room, consistently avoiding the silhouette of the therapist, who was sitting in one of the armchairs as usual.

– MC. Nice to see you. – she greeted, and I nodded to her, in the meantime taking off and hanging my coat on the hanger. – Please, take a sit.

I took the seat across from her, crossing my legs. I wanted to start a conversation, but I didn't know how.

– You stopped therapy. – she said, to which I nodded bitterly. – May I know what was the reason for that?I sighed, biting my lip nervously.

– I knew where our conversations were headed, and I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to talk about him. – I replied without looking into her eyes. I didn't like making eye contact with anyone. The eyes were windows to people's souls, which I always found very distracting.

– Then why did you come back?

– I got a letter. I do not know what to do with it. – I said as she gave me a questioning look. I finally looked up at her and handed her the paper I had in my hand. As she read it, I stared at her face, which so painfully reminded me of Lilly's face. She was a woman with short blonde hair and sea blue eyes. They could be soothing and calm like the sound of waves, or stormy and menacing like a storm in the middle of a deep ocean. She finally looked at me, and I saw just a hint of that anger in her eyes.

– Hannah and Thomas getting married? – she asked the obvious question, because the card I gave her was an invitation I got two days ago. - How do you feel with it?

I snorted a little mockingly, but my reaction didn't put her off at all.

– I don't feel much. It's none of my business anymore. – I looked at the vase of flowers on the table between us

– I can tell when you're lying, you know? Why did you come to me if you don't want to tell me the truth and let me help you? – she asked me a sharp question that made my jaw clench

– I think I feel angry. – I said, playing with my fingers – No. Anger is empty. Two days ago, when I first read that stupid invitation, I wanted to rip her into little pieces. Fury seized me, my whole body burned. I still wonder how could they? Next week is the fifth anniversary of finding Hannah, the fifth anniversary of Richy's death, and the fifth anniversary of his death.. – I blurted out, breathing shallowly, my nails digging into the palm of my hand – Jake's death. And suddenly they're going to throw a huge wedding party, enjoying themselves and having fun like nothing ever happened? And they have the audacity to invite me there after all they've done to me?

– Next week is the fifth anniversary of the mine events. Don't torture your thoughts. Pour them out, don't fight them. – she said in a quiet and calm voice, completely ignoring my outburst of anger at Hannah

I closed my eyes heavily, letting out a breath full of frustration, fatigue and reluctance. We've been rolling this topic over and over again for eight months. I was tired of analyzing and wondering if I could have done something to change the course of events. If I had gone to meet the Man Without The Face, would everything have turned out completely differently?

– I feel the same as two, three or four years ago. I feel betrayed by Richy, yet his death still affects me. I would like to talk to him, find out and understand him. God, I wish he'd shot himself in the head instead of setting himself on fire and blowing up the entire mine. – I said taking a deep breath

– You're furious because you lost Jake because of Richy. You blame him. It's normal.

– You shouldn't be so understanding. I think I need someone to blame so I don't blame myself for the death of .. – his name still hurt – for Jake's death. The problem is that...

– The body was never found.

I nodded, swallowing. For eight months of therapy, I'd been trying to put a wall between my thoughts about the black-haired hacker. I accepted that he died. It was driving me crazy to wonder if he had managed to escape the mine after all, only to be caught by the FBI. Literally. I knew he was dead. He never contacted me again, leaving me with the bittersweet taste of his last three words.

– You never told me about him. You mentioned him only at our first meeting, when you were nothing more than a wreck of a human. – she said, and I understood her unspoken request to tell about him

Uncontrollably, my mind began to flood with memories of our conversations that I had so strongly resisted. I remembered the sweet smiles he used to send me, how we analyzed things together and how good team we were. I remember him confessing that I was fascinating to him. He could text me things that made my heart beat faster and my breath quicken. He cared for me and defended me when the group attacked me with their vote. At some point, he was my everything.

– I can see that he must have been someone special, that you flew away like that. – she said, a small smirk playing at the corners of her lips

I bit my lip to hold back my smile.

– And he was. He really was. Of the whole group, he was the only one worth trusting.

– Why do you think so? You told me about Jessy. You told me about all of them and the friendship you made.

I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling extremely uncomfortable.

– I haven't spoken to any of them in almost five years. Hannah at Richy's funeral gave me enough reasons to disassociate myself from them.

– The group had no influence on what the traumatized Hannah accused you of. – she cut into my sentence

– But no one interrupted her. Nobody took my side or Jake's side. – I answered a little harsher than I had planned. – She made me mud, blaming me for Richy's and Jake's death. From taking Jake away from her. And then no one dared say a word to her. Dan and Thomas were happy as if nothing had happened. They didn't give a shit what happened to Jake! They didn't care at all but that fucking Hannah had been found, completely forgetting who had helped find her! Jake had dropped everything for her, and his death hadn't affected them at all.

– How did Lilly react? It was her brother, after all.

– She apologized to me for Hannah after everything. She put it down to her trauma, but you know what? I didn't give a shit at all then. Lilly was the only one who tried to keep in touch with me.

– But you cut them off after returning from Duskwood. How did you do that? How did you manage to cut yourself off from an important part of your life back then?

I bit my lip as I thought about my answer. My eyes became slightly misted from not blinking for a long time.

– I started to imagine a world where we don't collide. A world where Hannah hadn't sent those stupid few numbers to her stupid boyfriend who thought it was someone else's number. A world where I wouldn't reply to them at all. And most of all, I imagined life in a world where I wouldn't fall in love with this wanted hacker. – I gasped as I felt my pulse quicken

The therapist looked at me with satisfaction in her eyes, because I finally opened up to her. I got carried away by my emotions.

– What are you going to do with this invitation?

I swallowed hard, feeling my nails almost pierce the center of my palm. It was supposed to help me, but it only unleashed a storm inside my mind.

– I'll burn them.

The therapist smiled slightly, knowing full well that it wasn't true.

L.E.S.

pairing: Jakexfem!MC

summary: It was supposed to be a normal night in Aurora, but too many drinks, an argument, jealousy and lust changed everything.

warnings: sexual content, light sub!Jake, dom!MC, very possessive MC, lot of cursing

words: 4k

author's note: i don't like it very much, share your opinion in the comment🙏 i was inspired to write by the song les childish gambino, hence the title. enjoy reading!

After many months of continuous and exhausting fight for Jake's freedom, we finally succeeded. Of course, it wasn't perfect, it's rather normal, I knew perfectly well that life with him would not be stable or normal, but I was happy. After many days of destructive storm, there was a clearing up and a few rays of warm sun. We saw a light at the end of our road that I traveled with him. Hand in hand.

Jake agreed to a deal with the FBI. He was one of the best hackers in the world, and they needed someone like him. Especially now that they were chasing a gang of cybercriminals who were also human traffickers. Jake only because of me, for which I was eternally grateful. Finally, I could go to sleep normally and not be afraid if he was still alive or had already been captured and killed for stealing state secrets.

Well, it was even better. We moved in together in Duskwood a few days ago so Jake could catch up with his sisters. I wasn't against it either - after all, I had new friends here. Jessy, Dan, and Lilly have become more important to me than I thought they would become. Hannah and I were just getting to know each other, but I saw a mirror image of Jake in her. They were both rather quiet in the crowd, and it's only when you get to know them better that you see their funny and sociable side. Thomas and Cleo remained a walking mystery to me. During the Hannah investigation, I noticed how Cleo behaved around Thomas. She was always by his side, always wanted to accompany him, always gave him a sweet smile whenever needed. It was quite suspicious, especially since after finding Hannah it was still the same. When Hannah was in the hospital, Cleo was the first to help Thomas with something around the house and so on. I thought it was probably just their habit, after all, she wouldn't betray her best friend? Thomas didn't seem like the type to cheat on his missing girlfriend either, so I always pushed those thoughts as far away as possible.

But the situation changed dramatically. These were no longer just sick guesses during the investigation bout people I only knew on the phone. No. This time we were all together, surrounded by loud music, sitting at one of the tables in Aurora, celebrating the engagement of Hannah and Thomas. And this time my thoughts did not revolve around them, but around the black-haired man sitting across from me.

It started from the moment I entered the club. Cleo greeted Jake - nicer than usual. I didn't pay much attention to it at the time, we were all friends, and I was glad to see Jake opening up to them more and more. That's when I let go of his hand because Jessy was waving at me at the bar, so I whispered to my boyfriend to take our seats at the table and that I'd be right back. I was surprised when I came back together with the redhead, and Jake was sitting quite tense between Cleo and Dan, and two seats were left only with Lilly. But I brushed it aside, because we were all friends, right?

I didn't really shake it up. I promise! I got into an interesting conversation with Jessy, Lilly and Hannah about her engagement ring, forgetting about Cleo's strange greeting. But I got suspicious when she started talking to him at the table where I was also sitting. We never officially announced to them that we are together, but it was clear and transparent? We moved in together in Duskwood - that must have put her on that track.

– Jake, would you pass me that sauce? – she asked, her lips stretched into a sweet smile. No wonder, right? But I was sitting closest to the sauce, so why couldn't she ask me? Jake nodded and handed her the sauce, and was soon talking to Dan about something. From hate to friendship, huh? At this table sat two pieces of evidence that separated them by a fine line: Me and Lilly, and the men just mentioned.

I clenched my jaw all evening and didn't say anything stupid, nothing that would ruin night that belonged to Hannah and Thomas. I ignored all her smiles, winks, and leaning in so that her tits were level with his eyes. But the moment she walked with the glass and her hand accidentally slipped onto his black shirt turned the cup of bitterness.

– Oh God, I'm sorry! I didn't want to stain your shirt. – she stuttered quickly, her hands touching the spots on his chest. They've been there too long. Much too long than just checking how big the stain is.

Maybe I was a little jealous.

Touch him again and you're dead.

I must admit I am a little possessive.

Very possessive.

– Nothing happened. – Jake mumbled quickly, but Cleo was still apologizing to him. – Really, Cleo is nothing. Just a stain, it'll dry soon. – he said grabbing her shoulders to calm her down

I felt my blood start to boil and I wondered if that was what Jake felt when Phil leaned against me?

But she touched him. And he touched her, and apparently he has no problem with it. Then he looked at me and smiled softly, and I realized that I hadn't spoken to him since arriving here. Cleo must have kept him busy.

– Jake, we should wash your shirt to make sure you don't leave a stain. – I heard Cleo's comment, which immediately sobered me up. What the fuck?

– I'll fix it. – I said quickly and gave her the most believable smile. I don't know if I succeeded because I felt it came out more like a grimace. The black-haired hacker nodded and followed me, and I followed the direction known only to myself.

Jake caught up with me and grabbed my hand

– Wait, where are you going? – he asked not knowing what was going on. – These are the bathrooms for the staff.

I smiled enticingly as understanding flooded his body. He opened his eyes wide and I grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him into the empty toilet. There was no one in it, so I locked the door, and then without thinking I bit into the hacker's mouth with as much force as I don't think I've ever had before. I was hungry for his touch, and the taste of tequila on his lips made me even thirstier. I pinned him against the wall, deepening the kiss, now tasting the different flavors of the drinks on his tongue. He fought for dominance in the kiss, but quickly gave up feeling my determination. I wanted to remind him who he was in a relationship with and who he belonged to. His hands roamed my back and finally reached my hips, which he squeezed tightly. I moaned right into his lips, undoing the first buttons of his black shirt. All evening I had to keep my mind from tearing his beautiful clothes, which made him look damn good.

– MC, what's come over you? He mumbled between kisses against my swollen lips

– You just look like a Greek God today – I croaked avoiding his gaze, but the boy didn't believe me – Okay, okay! I just don't like it when some other girl.. filrts with you?

Jake's eyes widened in question. I snorted in response.

– Don't pretend you didn't see it either. Cleo has been sticking to you since we got here. – I swallowed hard

Jake raised his eyebrows

– You were jealous of Cleo?

I didn't answer, biting the inside of my cheek. Damn, that's more embarrassing than I thought.

– You are jealous. – His tone made it clear that he was pleased with the state I was in, but there was also a note of surprise in it.

I sighed heavily, then one of my hands moved to his hair, which I lightly tugged, and the other to his throat. I tightened my grip slightly, and my wet lips began to trail kisses down his jaw and the side of his neck. I felt his heart beating faster and his hands tightened on my hips. Soon all that could be heard in the bathroom was muffled club music and his heavy breathing. After a moment, I kissed him deep on the mouth again before breaking the kiss.

– I'm not the jealous type, but what's mine is mine. – I whispered, tightening my hand on his throat a little more. I could feel his rapid pulse under my fingers. At that point, I wasn't surprised why he was always the one taking control of the bed matters. The feeling of domination was damn nice and addictive. Jake was the type of person who had to keep things under control. Every little detail. – It pisses me off when someone tries their luck with my puppy.

I said the last sentence half jokingly, half seriously - I wanted to prove to the hacker that he wasn't the only one who was a master at coming up with nicknames in situations like this. I heard his muffled chuckle, then quickly turned me around, pinning me against the wall. His lips attacked my neck and a soft moan escaped my lips. I felt his erection against my lower belly, and I couldn't help but smile. I was glad that he liked me in a different version than the one he was used to.

I pushed him away a little and he gave me a hazy look and I just smiled at him.

- I want a ride. – I bit my lip and started pushing him towards the toilet so he could sit down

Startled, he sat down and I straddled him, slowly rolling up my dress. He watched me with wet, swollen lips and drooping eyelids.God, I was ready to kill for this view.

– How do you feel about what we're going to do here? In a public restroom where anyone with a key could find us? – I whispered sensually into his ear as I tried to undo his fly

– Like a criminal. – he replied, breathing heavily. – It's more tempting than stealing state secrets.

I laughed darkly and was about to take off his boxers when we heard a loud knock. I jumped off the boy, and he was visibly flushed in the rush to zip up his fly and shirt. Well, he couldn't hide the red spots on his neck from my kisses or my rapid breathing like I did. I hastily smoothed my dress, then opened the door, ready for a reprimand from some employee. To my surprise, none other than Cleo was standing there. I closed my eyes for five seconds, letting out an angry, shaky breath, and she giggled.

– I think you've got the wrong bathroom, MC. – she said, and I looked at her with dubious faith in her intelligence. – And you were gone so long that I thought something had happened.

My patience is over. If she didn't understand any subtle signs, I had to explain it to her face. She went too far and I was able to stand up for myself.

She passed Jake and I saw that she was barely standing. She really was experiencing the engagement more than I thought. I asked my boyfriend to leave because I was going to explain to her how things were.

She smiled at me, but not as charmingly as at the black-haired girl. I smiled back and walked over to the nearby sink to wash my hands.

– It's pretty hot in there, isn't it? – she asked, trying to make some sort of conversation

I could break her nose right now if I wanted to. Or her jaw? Or would her hand be in better shape so that she could no longer touch any taken man?

MC get over yourself!

– Yes, quite. – I replied by turning off the tap and reaching for the paper. – Listen, do you like Jake?

The question came out of my mouth before I even planned to ask it. Damn, do I always have to talk first and think later?

– W-what kind of question is that? - She replied confused, trying to hide her nervousness. I shrugged, tossing the wet paper into the wastebasket.

– You know.. he is devilishly smart, he has exceptional abilities. – I began to exchange innocently, still maintaining a friendly tone of voice. I started to approach her and when I was less than half a meter away I added – And he's so handsome.

Cleo blushed and her eyes widened.

– Come on, Cleo, go ahead. – I gave her a friendly laugh and it was probably one of the most fake smiles in my entire life. I was pissed off that I only enjoyed Jake for a few days, and someone else was already trying their luck. – You weren't as discreet as you thought.

– Um, well he's alright. – she replied avoiding eye contact and my smile disappeared.

– So what the fuck you want from him? You want to fuck him? – I asked, losing my wits and patience. Cleo looked at me, and I saw how her expression was overcome by anger

– Watch your words, MC. – She threatened me and I snorted – You have such big complexes that you are afraid that Jake will cheat on you? Or maybe you see that you are not enough for him?

My lips parted slightly in disbelief at her words. Was it her thoughts for a long time, or was it just the result of her weak head for the drinks she had here? I can't remember the last time I was this fucking furious. She thought she was better for Jake?

– Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? – I asked loudly and with the fury that had been gathering in me since arriving here. – What the fuck you think you're doing? You think you're better because you're hitting on taken men? When one gets engaged to your friend, you go on to the next one? – I let out a mocking, dry laugh. –You know what I can give you. Keep your shitty nose out of other people relationships. Especially mine.

When she didn't answer, I moved even closer and said in her ear, emphasized every word.

– Get your filthy hands from my man.

Then I left it there, walking out and heading towards the table where my friends were sitting.

– We have to go. – I said, feigning a contrite and sad expression on my face, and Jake visibly swallowed, still flushed. – We'll call you and see you soon.

We said goodbye and congratulated Hannah and Thomas one last time on their engagement. Cleo didn't come until we left, which I took as my little victory.

* * *

I smiled at the sight of the hacker lying naked in our bed. He was breathing hard, and all the words he wanted to say to me died in his throat when he saw me in my underwear. Especially for this occasion, I wore a black, lace set for him, which was quite translucent, because it consisted mainly of mesh and a few stripes. I approached the corner of the bed, tilting my head slightly.

– Well.. How do you like it? – I asked, referring to our first conversation, to which he responded with a soft laugh

– I don't know what you mean. – he feigned thought, quoting my first words to him

I clucked in displeasure, then sat down in the armchair next to the bed, still watching him closely.

– You're quite saucy for the adorable puppy that you are. – I said, biting the inside of my cheek as I thought about the punishment for the disobedient boy

– If I am your adorable puppy do I get any puppy privileges? – he sneered, trying to hide his excitement under a mask of laughter, but I could see his body language that almost begged for it

– I do not think so. Only good puppies get privileges, you deserve only punishment. – I replied with a small smirk on my lips. Jake fell silent, still staring straight into my eyes. – Damn, I have so many ideas, but I can't decide on one.

Hacker gave me a questioning look, and I began to speak, modulating my voice slightly to sound more attractive.

– I could get naked and grind on your dick, watching as you squirm underneath me, every inch of dominance leaving you as you fully succumb to me, begging to put you inside of me. – I started slowly, seeing every little reaction from him to my words. His chest began to heave faster and more often, and his cock hardened even more.

– Or – I smiled – I could stay in that chair and make you watch me pleasure myself. You would hear my every moan, and all you could do was beg for mercy, to let me touch you. – I looked down at my red nails as a soft moan escaped his lips

– Or

– N-no – he purred

– Or I could do absolutely nothing but tell you all the dirty things I want to do with you right now. You don't even know how hot you are when you're whimpering and fighting for control over yourself and your desires.

– MC..

– Mm? – I clucked in displeasure at his words. – Where are your manners?

– P-please. – he stuttered, his cock twitching. I continued to stare at him expectantly until he finally understood. – Please m'am.

I licked my lips contentedly, then my hands began to roam my body. His whimpers were incredibly hot. I touched my breasts lightly, finally pushing aside the fabric of my lace panties and touching my wetness. I moaned softly, circling over my clit, feeling his eyes all over my body. He couldn't touch himself, he was doomed to watch me enjoy myself. My movements got faster and faster and my moans got louder. I opened my eyes and saw Jake staring at me with such adoration and reverence that I had never seen in anyone else. I groan at the mere sight of him, and his head tilted back in convulsions of pleasurable pain.

– Please what? – I asked, breathing heavily but slowing my hand movements, regaining control

– Let me touch you. – he whined – God, please let me touch you.

I smiled indulgently, then got up from the chair and approached the desperate man. I climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. I immediately felt his hard erection which made me snarl loudly. I leaned down, placing my hand on the back of his hair to pull his head back hard. He hissed in a slight pain, and I started to plant wet kisses all the way down his throat, sucking on his most sensitive spot, which made a whimper crawl out of his throat. His hands tightened on my hips, which he began to move to get any friction. Our wet lips met again in a hungry, needy, passionate kiss. Our moans mingled to form one common rhythm.

I pulled away from his mouth and started to move my lips lower and lower, kissing his shoulders, collarbones, nicely defined muscles of his stomach. I looked up, making contact with the hacker, who looked so beautiful at that moment that I wanted to cry. I wanted to shout to the whole world that this beautiful and breathtaking man was mine. He was illuminated only by streaks of moon that streamed through the window, enhancing its otherworldly appearance. The young hacker was mesmerizing. His jet-black, now very messy hair, his godly face, his prominent clavicles, slight muscles of his arms and stomach, and the paleness of his skin. God, only you knew how delighted and lost I was in him.

I licked my lips and kissed the tip of his dick without taking my eyes off him. His lips parted and even heavier breaths came out.

– You are so beautiful – I mumbled, sending a vibration along his dick. – My pretty hackerboy.

I saw his cheeks blush, which made my heart beat even faster.

I teased the head of his cock a bit with the tip of my tongue, and as I licked the entire length of it before closing it in my mouth, I heard him curse loudly and groan.

– Oh, fuck.

I started out calmly to tease him a little more, but soon I sped up my movements, experimenting harder and moving my head faster. Jake wasn't afraid to show his pleasure, which made him even more attractive. His loud and desperate moans left me completely soaked. I felt that the boy was close to orgasm, so I stopped what I was doing and lifted my head. He looked at me with slight annoyance that I had ruined his orgasm and I gave him an innocent smirk.

– Doesn't feel so great, does it? – I asked before straddling his hips again. – Open your mouth for me.

Jake complied obediently, opening his mouth and I inserted two fingers, which he eagerly began to suck gently. I hummed contentedly, lifted my hips slightly, and started teasing him with my entrance. A muffled moan escaped his lips, and I slowly, unhurriedly lowered myself to him, feeling his length stretching me out. I groaned in delight, pulling my fingers from his mouth.Jake's eyes rolled to the back of his head.

– Fuck, MC y-you feel so good. – he gasped

– Mmm, like that? – I teased – So, I guess I can continue?

– Yes. – he barely breathed, and my hand grabbed his jaw, forcing him to look at me. –Please MC. – he begged, and I felt the satisfaction of power coursing through my body

I rode him passionately, and waves of pleasure flowed through my body, bringing me closer to fulfillment. His hands were on my hips and assisted my movements, our lips connected in hot kisses every now and then and faded away in moans and the sound of our bodies bouncing. At one point, Jake rose slightly, catching me in a tight hug, his hands landing on my back. I wrapped my thighs tighter around his hips, tugging hard on the ends of his hair.

– Tell me who you belong to. – I breathed heavily into his mouth

– I'm yours and yours only. – he replied immediately, his words bringing me to orgasm, which I accepted with a loud and desperate yelp that was practically a scream. – Oh, fuck! – hacker cried as I tightened on him

– I've got my eyes only on you. – he added in a hoarse whisper prolonging my high.

With those words, I felt that he came, filling me with his cum. His eyes rolled back once more, and from his mouth came the most sinful groan I've ever had the pleasure of hearing.

It took us a few moments to calm down and control the mercilessly fast beating of our hearts. We were still in the same position, I was sitting on him, he was soothingly drawing circles on my back and I was whispering words of praise to him like "you have done very well for me", "you were amazing" and a few others that even I didn't register. Jake was flushed and very flattered by my praise, which melted my heart. This man was so unaccustomed to compliments that I decided I had to change that. Especially now when we started living together in our home.

Finally, exhausted, we lay down, lying on each other's sides so that we could see each other's faces. Jake gently smoothed a strand of my hair. Suddenly I felt the urge to cry. Damn, what if Cleo was right about me not deserving of him?

– Everything's all right? – he asked quietly, and I bit the inside of my cheek. We both agreed that if we wanted to have a healthy relationship, we had to communicate with each other. Shit, I was the one who said it, so I couldn't be a hypocrite now.

– I'm sorry if I ruined your evening. – I whispered. – You probably wanted to stay with Hannah, and I made a jealous scene..

– Stop. – he interrupted me. – Believe me, I much prefer an evening in our bed than in Aurora. And wow, I've never seen you like this.

I chuckled a little and gave him a slightly provocative look.

– Yes? And how did you like it?

– It's terrifying, but... – he leaned in and started kissing my neck. – You've never been hotter. You don't even know how power and demanding suits you.

I exhaled hotly, and his lips traveled to the place under my ear.

– You don't have to worry about Cleo or anyone else. You've got this man wrapped around your finger, MC. – he whispered, and the hoarse tone of his voice filled with love, lust and reverence made my skin crawl – You are the most fascinating person I have ever laid my eyes on. No other woman compare to you, MC. You said I look like a Greek God? Well you are Aphrodite in the flesh.

masterlist

JakexMC

Dark Paradise / Jake's life 3 years after Hannah was found.

World where we don't collide / MC's therapy after 5 years since Hannah was found

Without you / Richy's funeral and how MC is coping after the mine fire.

Memories / After receiving an invitation to Hannah and Thomas' wedding, MC tries to get back to her life, but the demons of her past catch up with her faster than she could have expected.

Another Love: this fanfiction will tackle heavy topics such as mental health and violence. there will be sex scenes.

Chapter 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

L.E.S. (smut)

I wanna be yours (smut)

Shameless (smut)

Fourth of July

Favorite crime MWAF!JakexMC

Together

Silence

In the stars

Nobody but us

Lost without you

🔵 - angst, sad

🟠 - fluff

🔴 - mature

Other Duskwood characters:

Partners in crime (HannahxMC)

Without you

A short story about Richy's funeral and how MC is coping after the mine fire.

warnings: mention JakexMC, mental breakdown, slight sexual abuse

I stared blankly at the group of people standing in front of me. Nothing caught my attention, all the colors washed into one, and time didn't seem to pass at all. He stopped, but already a week ago. A week ago when I first heard the "MC, the mine blew up. They found a man's body." My cheeks were dry because I wasn't crying anymore. It seemed to me that I got rid of all the water from my body that I had in me.

And when the bronze coffin was lowered into the deep grave, I heard something that I will never forget for the rest of my life. I heard a loud sob that was similar to the moan of a wounded animal that is fighting with all its might to survive. I looked towards the sound and saw a red-haired girl who was clutched by a taller and bigger bearded man. I tensed my whole body and face to stay in place so as not to walk over to her and take her in my arms. Jessy's fregile body trembled with spasms of desperate crying as Dan tried to hold her still. My Jessy, who I always associated with smile, warmth and determination, was now the definition of surrender. And that broke me the most, because why was fate so cruel that it took away even the greatest ray of happiness we had left?

The coffin fell down and was covered with earth. People will remember him as a cheerful and playful mechanic who could always make you feel better. I wasn't sure how I would remember him. Right now, it was just a taste of betrayal I had never experienced before.

My arms were folded over my chest, I stood there with a stony face as my mind stormed. No, it was a typhoon. Murderous and merciless. All I wanted was to silence all these thoughts and go to sleep. To be unaware of all the fuss and chaos for at least one hour. One hour of peace, is that much? But my brain wouldn't give up. It still flooded me with thoughts and anxiety. Jake. What has become of him? Did he die in the mine, and if so, where was his body? If he got away, did the FBI catch him? And they did, I was sure of it. Did they just kill him? Or worse, were they torturing him? I was replaying our last conversation. I love you. He confessed it to me. He actually told me he loved me and I replied the same to him. God, I would give anything to turn back time and stop him from saying those words. Maybe then it would hurt less.

My God, I would give anything to turn back time, get my way and go into that mine alone instead of letting him go there. He wasn't supposed to die there.

– So you showed up.

I turned to a female voice I didn't know yet. However, I immediately recognized the woman standing in front of me. Missing Hannah Donfort stood before me as if nothing had happened.

– Hi, Hannah. Nice to finally meet you. – I made an effort to be friendly but I honestly didn't feel like talking to either of them. Well, maybe except Jessy, because only she could understand what I felt at that moment. I felt a special bond between me, Jessy, and Richy. It wasn't a big deal, but it was ours. Our little something that gave me a certain sense of belonging to their group.I scanned the people around her.

Seeing them all was very strange and almost stressful, because our contact so far was only by phone. Thomas was standing next to her, giving me a not-so-pleasant look. In fact, he almost always had that look on his face, so I wasn't too concerned. After all, I didn't like him much after all the stupid things he'd done while looking for his girlfriend.

On the other side of her, I recognized her sister, Lilly. Our relationship was... dynamic. From a lot of hatred to a quite successful friendship, the only thing that separated us was solving the puzzle together with Jake. The blonde gave me a soft smile and I couldn't help but wonder if Jake's smile would be similar to hers? Did the color of her eyes resemble his? Did the warmth of her gaze even remotely reflect his? They were half siblings after all, they must have had something in common. Lilly seems to have sensed that I was thinking of a hacker because her face turned violently sad.

And behind them stood Dan, who was still hugging Jessy, but she wasn't crying anymore. The mascara had dried on her cheeks, and she stared at me with the same dull eyes that I had a dozen or so minutes ago. She stared at me and her eyes were so... alien. With one look from her, I understood that our first meeting would be without a smile and a warm hug.

– How dare you come here? – I was snapped out of watching the others by Hannah's sharp question. – Who invited you? What happened wasn't enough for you?

What the fuck?

– What are you talking about, Hannah? – I asked cautiously, my jaw clenching tight

– You think I don't know anything? I know Richy wanted you to come to him. Maybe if you'd done that instead of sending Jake there, they'd both still be alive!

I opened my eyes in amazement, and my blood suddenly began to boil. I looked at them all in disbelief to hear that it was some kind of bad joke, but they stood as they had been standing before. Lilly had her eyes fixed on the ground, Thomas continued to stare at me with his dull and unfavorable gaze, and Jessy, even though she was looking at me, I knew that her heart was somewhere else.

– You know shit. You don't know anything about what really happened, so don't accuse me. – I growled at her, losing patience. The girl I didn't know, and yet to whom I gave the last months of my life, made me mud, and the people I helped didn't even defend me with a single word.

– Oh yeah? So it wasn't like Richy wanted you to come to Duskwood and you agreed to let Jake go instead of you? – she asked in a venomous tone and I fell silent. Because basically that's exactly how it was. – It wasn't like you used him to save your own skin? It wasn't like you knew full well it could kill him and you still agreed to it? It wasn't like you let him die instead of you?

– Shut up. – I mumbled, but she didn't listen to me. She kept stabbing daggers into my bleeding heart. – I said, shut up!

I was breathing fast and my heart was beating mercilessly fast causing a sharp pain in my chest. Nobody interrupted her. They all think I'm the cause of Richy's death. Jake's death.

– And now you're boasting because you think he did it for you? – she asked and I felt myself falling apart. – Do you think he cared about you? He's only been using you the whole time to find me.

I stared at her not understanding a single word. One sentence from her and I knew she was still in love with the hacker. I glanced briefly at Lilly, who shook her head slightly. She did not know.

So why should I pretend I'm okay when I'm not? Should I allow myself to be treated this way by the person for whose search I gave all my strength?

– And you're still in love with the boy who blew you off. – I said dryly. – Hannah, tell me, don't you have at least a little respect not to start an argument in the cemetery right after we buried our friend?!

A dry snort escaped her lips.

– Don't make me laugh, MC. Just accept that you should never get involved in this. If you hadn't, our friends would still be alive.

Once again, surprise flashed across my face. She.. didn't know she sent them my number?

I had enough. It was her game that I wasn't going to play anymore. I moved forward, passing everyone I had called friends before.

– Before you start to accuse me again, ask them how it really was. Go ahead, ask Thomas why I got involved. Ask them how you ruined my life.

Lilly grabbed my hand, but I pulled away from her grip. I couldn't and didn't want to look at them. Not now and never in my life.

* * *

Crowd, sweaty bodies and alcohol. These three things accompanied me that evening. I didn't count the amount of high-proof liquors I drank. They were not colorful, light drinks, but pure vodka, which allowed me to forget faster. Get away from what happened. I danced, wiggling my hips, brushing against random people as neon and flickering lights illuminated my tired face.

At one point I swallowed some colored pills that were given to me - but I didn't care. At that moment, I would swallow anything that would give me a moment of solace. One minute I was dancing with a girl I didn't know, and the next I was pinned against the bathroom wall, kissed by an older man.

My body was sticky from alcohol, sweat and other unknown substances. I felt my hair tangled. At that moment, I only wanted one thing. Death. I wanted to cry. Oh god, I wanted to howl as loud as I could, but not even a single tear ran down my dead face. The man covered my skin with more wet kisses. He alternately drooled my cleavage, neck and shoulders, and I just stared blankly ahead and begged for someone to end it.

I don't know how, but I freed myself from the man's tight grip. Perhaps someone sent me a guardian angel, perhaps someone took pity on the girl who drank too much, and perhaps I regained some strength to oppose him. I didn't remember how I got to the motel room, but I only woke up when I ran into the bathroom. I didn't hesitate - I immediately staggered to the shower.

I clumsily opened the glass door of the cabin, and then my legs refused to obey. I fell onto the white paddling pool, bruising my knees painfully. I put my hands on the glass, trying to get air, but the harder I did, the more I was suffocating. My head throbbed and my body writhed in convulsions of pain. After turning on the tap with water, my hand fell, knocking most of the things off the shelf, making a loud bang. It wasn't important. Feeling the icy water pour over my burning body, I felt as if someone had given me life back.

I sighed, hanging my head, feeling my hair sticking more and more to my forehead. I don't even know when the water started mixing with my tears.

It wasn't like you let him die instead of you?

If you hadn't, our friends would still be alive.

She is right. You are disgustingly selfish. You should die there.

You couldn't handle it so you're off to drink and fuck with some old creep?

You should die there.

A soft, pitiful moan escaped my lips as more trickles began to run down my face. I clenched my trembling fingers against my thighs as hard as I could, crying louder and more wistfully. Nothing mattered to me. Not when I knew I had let the man I loved suffer for me. My lungs refused to obey me, and I felt such a piercing pain that I hadn't felt in a long time. I choked on my own saliva that landed on my chin and hands. At one point, I howled like a wounded animal because I couldn't control it anymore. It was like torture. I begged in my mind for it to end, but absolution never came.

Jake is dead because of you.

I closed my eyes, wrapped my arms around my waist, and screamed again, doubled over. My forehead touched the white paddling pool.

As if behind the fog, I heard someone opening the cabin door. I didn't open my eyes. I closed my eyes tighter when I felt a gentle squeeze on my shoulder, followed by a pleasant smell and warmth emanating from the other person.

– MC, calm down. – he whispered in a trembling voice right into my ear, his trembling fingers running through my wet hair. I pressed my forehead against the hard surface as hard as I could, almost breaking my nails from how hard I pressed them against my skin. – You are safe. I am with you.

– Jake? – I croaked

This voice was like the fulfillment of the most secret desires.

It took me a few long moments to come to my senses. I opened my eyes in an amok, but the vision was very blurry. I blinked slowly.

And when I didn't see anyone there, I felt like someone stab a dagger right through my heart, twirl it hard, then pull it out and leave me to bleed out.

"I've nothing without you

All my dreams and all the lights mean

Nothing without you"

Lana Del Rey

Memories

After receiving an invitation to Hannah and Thomas' wedding, MC tries to get back to her life, but the demons of her past catch up with her faster than she could have expected.

author's note: previous part, thanks to which you can better understand the situation

warnings: slight mention of mental health issues

HANNAH DONFORT

&

THOMAS MILLER

with full hearts,

joyfully invite you to their wedding

I burned holes in the invitation I received with my eyes. I don't know how much time has passed since I sat on the couch and in my trembling hands I grabbed a card decorated with beautiful floral patterns full of colors. They were different from how I felt now. My world was devoid of any colors when I read the first lines of the invitation. When I reopened old wounds. When I reopened my heart to memories and a weird town called Duskwood.

I swore to myself that I would burn them as soon as I got back from the psychologist. I was so sure it would come easily to me. So why have I been sitting in front of the fireplace for over two hours now, wondering what time the next flight would be?

MC, no.

For five years I have been trying to put my life back together. Forget everything the missing Hannah Donfort case has brought to my life. Because this case has completely and irrevocably destroyed my old life.

After the mine explosion, Richy's funeral, and Jake's loss, I'd become a shadow of myself. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't recognize myself. Soon I began to fight my despair with alcohol and parties. I tried to find my dying need and longing for Jake in other men. But no one compared to him. I didn't even know what he looked like or what he sounded like. So why was I so fucked up that I couldn't forget him?

But after two hard years, the first rays of the sun came. I realized that I needed professional help to move on. I wanted to feel alive again, not just existing. Of course, there were times when in the evenings I would sit staring at a blank wall and reminisce. I was reminiscing about the good times spent with my old friends. All the small talks with Jessy. Jokes with Richy.

But there have been no dark moments for so long. I moved on.

And then, as usual, it had to fucked up. Ceremonial, with fireworks fucked up.

My pointless staring at the cluster of letters was interrupted by the loud vibration of my phone. I snapped out of my trance and checked who had disturbed the storm in my mind.

RYAN: You, me, dinner, wine and a movie?

I sighed heavily, trying to force a smile.This news reminded me that Duskwood had done me nothing good. I won a whole new life in which there was no room for either of them.

MC: You don't have to ask twice!

I clenched my jaw as I stared at the fireplace as flames engulfed the wedding invitation. They burned an old part of me.

* * *

I dressed as quietly as I could so as not to wake the boy who was sound asleep. It was almost three in the morning, and I didn't want to stay at Ryan's. I didn't want to wake up next to him in the morning, have breakfast together, and then say goodbye when we both had to go to work. Why? I told myself that I just wasn't made for relationships. I really wanted to believe it. I didn't want to be a bitch who used others for her own pleasure.

That fucking invitation made me think about him again. Even a moment ago, when I was fucking a boy who is in love with me, I was thinking about someone else. I thought about the black-haired wanted criminal who had hacked my mind as well as my heart.

As I was at the door, I heard his hoarse voice.

– I'll never be anything more to you, will I?

With a heavy heart, I turned to look into his brown eyes, where I saw no hatred. I saw understood pain. Because both Ryan and I knew that in the reflection of his brown irises I was still looking for those wistful blue ones.

* * *

I closed the door to my apartment and without even taking off my coat, I walked towards the living room. I glanced briefly in the mirror, again not recognizing myself. I had just broken another person's heart and my face remained stone and so... distant.

– Fucking Jake. – I spat out my first emotion in a long time. Unfortunately, it was anger.

I reached my hand into the drawer where I kept the medication the psychiatrist had given me. My movements were programmed. I've done it millions of times. Without any emotion, I spilled two white pills and placed them on my tongue. Just as I was about to swallow them, my eyes fell on the bar across the room. And it was only a moment. Impulse.

I rushed over to it and opened it. I pulled out the first bottle of vodka I came across and opened it quickly. I didn't even wonder anymore. I spat out two pills that rolled across the floor, then pressed my lips to the neck of the glass. I furrowed my face, feeling the terrible burning in my throat, but I didn't stop. I kept drinking.

I drank until I stopped feeling a little bit.

Common sense screaming for me to stop was completely silenced. At least until I heard my phone vibrate again. I was ready to explain to Ryan that our relationship, although not official, was a mistake and I had never felt anything for him, but I was confused to see that someone texted me from an unknown number.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: MC?

What the fuck? Who are you and why do you bother me drinking another goodbye I caused?

Yes, do I know you?

Deja vu, right? That's how it all started five years ago.

It's me, Lily. I am sorry for writing so late. Did you get an invite?

My breathing quickened. Lilly Donfort broke the tense silence between us after five years.

I did.

I answered briefly and coldly, but I couldn't help it. I also couldn't get out of the conversation and block the blonde's number, even though common sense told me to. But heart and reason rarely listen to each other.

I know you want nothing to do with us.

No shit sherlock.

But it's really important

I snorted and quickly typed out a reply.

I'm not solving your problems anymore

I know

It's about Jessy

My eyes opened tighter. I didn't even have the strength to pretend that the mention of Jessy hadn't moved me.

She's in really bad condition

MC, I'm begging you, only you can help her

One day, five years ago, Jake was right once again. I let my emotions cloud my judgement. So it was this time.

No matter how much time passed, the traumatic events connected me with Jessy forever. With a fragile, red-haired girl whom I had only ever seen cry at our friend's funeral.

Swallowing another sip of alcohol that hurt my throat painfully, I bought a plane ticket to a dark little town called Duskwood.

"There's no good reason in make believing

That we could ever exist again"

Conan Grey

Fourth of July

summary: A story about Jake's childhood, youth and mother. (Ophelia) warnings: mention of mental health problems, a little JakexMC words: 3,5k

November 28, 1998

In a quiet and peaceful town, in a lonely hospital, at less than five o'clock in the morning, when a cold autumn morning was waking up to life, another human was born. He wasn't ordinary, he was someone else from the moment he was born. He was different.

Chestnut hair stuck to the sweaty forehead of the woman, who leaned back tiredly, trying to regain her even breathing.

– Just as we predicted. No complications, completely healthy and strong son!

A slight smile appeared on the tired woman's face.

– My little Jacob.

April 4, 2003

– Look. I found a daisy.

Hearing her son's high-pitched voice, the woman of average height looked up from the book she was reading at the little boy in front of her. His watchful gaze was focused on the tiny white flower in his hand, which he proudly held out to his mother.

This day was one of the first warm days of spring, which was the young woman's favorite season. They were surrounded by a forest in which beautiful and breathtaking plants bloomed and the warm rays of the sun enveloped them from the sky.

– It's beautiful, Jake. – she replied in a melodious voice. She sat up from the bench and leaned toward her five-year-old son. – Where did you find it?

– On the meadow. – He shrugged and held out the flower more strongly – It's for you. – added.

The incredibly sweet gesture amused and moved the young mother.

– Wouldn't you like to give it to your brother?

The woman chuckled softly as the boy rolled his eyes.

– I already gave him the stone. He threw it at my head.

She laughed again, but seeing his undisguised indignation, she accepted his gift and promised him that she will punish Kaden. The boy brightened up, and a slight smile appeared on his face, creating dimples on his cheeks.

The young mother once again admired the beauty of her son. Jake was a beautiful kid. He was a little bony for his age, even though he ate for two. His now sunlit face was like that of an angel. His thick hair, the color of dark chocolate pudding, cascaded over his forehead. But what caught his attention the most were his eyes. Beautiful, breath-taking, mesmerizing blue irises stood out on his innocent and charming face. Her heart clenched as she looked into her son's eyes, which were an identical reflection of his father's. Nathan Donfort.

She didn't want to remember the man who had completely broken her heart, so she thought back to Jake and began to fix his hair, which had been loosened by the sudden gust of wind.

She glanced at the white flower in her left hand out of the corner of her eye and swore one thing to herself. She promised herself that she would do everything in her power to keep her son exactly as he is now. Pure, innocent and free from any sin. She promised herself that she would make sure that Jake would always be as free, carefree and happy as he was now.

December 22, 2009

Christmas was fast approaching. Therefore, no one was surprised by the noise in the apartment, where a few more people were supposed to gather. In addition to Jake, Kaden and their mother, their grandmother and uncle were coming with their family. The whole apartment was nicely and climatically decorated, and the smell of home-made Christmas dishes was wafting, creating only increasing impatience in young boys.

– Kaden, how many times do I have to tell you that these gingerbread cookies are for Christmas? – she asked in a loud and slightly tired voice from the preparations, but she couldn't help but smile when she saw the boys running around the kitchen dressed in Santa hats. She went back to turning the meat in the pan when she heard a loud thump on their door. Surprised, she walked towards the entrance of the apartment, then opened the door. And it was one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Because she found no one else there but Nathan Donfort himself.

– Hello, Ophelia.

Her whole body stiffened and her heart stopped. She couldn't get a word out. She just stood there, staring at the face of the man she would sell her soul for one day.

– Mom? Who is this man?

She didn't know which of the boys had asked those questions. It didn't matter to her, even though he was the father of only one of them, she didn't want any of her sons to have anything to do with this man. So she left the apartment and quickly slammed the door. They were facing each other now, looking at each other with eyes that were so different and distant from the ones they had shared in the past.

– What do you want, Nathan? – She uttered the coldest, emotionless tone she could muster

– It's Christmas. I wanted to… – he started but got stuck in the middle. He tried a few more times, but each time he stopped as if he didn't know what he was doing here. – I wanted to meet my son.

The woman burst into a sharp, dry laugh. Damn, that asshole had more guts than she ever thought possible.

– All of a sudden? After eleven years, you remember that you have a son? – she asked, not believing in his insolence. – Spare yourself, Nathan. I'm not seventeen anymore, you can't manipulate me like you used to.

– That was never my target.

More dry lies.

– So what is it? You've had an argument with your wife again and you're looking for solace in a one-time whore you'll dump as soon as you find out she's pregnant? – she gasped as her emotions took over her. The inside screamed at her to go back inside and she wouldn't listen to a word of that son of a bitch anymore, but she couldn't. She couldn't take her eyes off the face of the man she once loved most in the world.

– I didn't come here to resolve our conflict. – he growled unpleasantly – I came because I believe that our son deserves a father. He deserves better.

– You mean our conflict is that when I told you I was pregnant, you called me names and left me alone? Right, it's nothing that bad! – she raised her voice, feeling the first burning tears under her eyelids – And he is by no means your son! You lost father's name when you abandoned us eleven years ago. He lived eleven years without you, and believe me, he deserves better than a momentary hope. Because that's who you are, Nathan. You give people momentary attention and hope and then brutally take it away and push people to the bottom.

She was about to return to her apartment after these words, but she looked at him one last time.

– By the way, what's your younger daughter's name? Ah, Lilly, that's right. Maybe you won't screw up with her like you did with Jake.

She slammed the door behind her and slid down it, finally falling to the floor. She would love to go back to the time when everything was fine. When the sun was out and Jake brought her a plucked daisy. She thought that moment would last forever. That they will always be so incredibly happy.

But the sky was not always cloudless. Unfortunately, the sun sometimes went down, and that Christmas day over Jake's house it went down too fast. And never came back.

November 28, 2012

– Happy birthday, sweetheart!

His grandmother's hand fell from his eyes, revealing a brand new, first ever computer he had ever owned. The then fourteen-year-old boy opened his eyes wide in surprise and looked at the older woman doubtfully. Well, he knew they didn't have the money for such expensive equipment.

– But from where? And how?

But his grandmother interrupted him"

– Don't worry so much, Jake. It's your birthday! Come on, grandma made you a delicious cake. Your favourite. – she smiled warmly at him, and the boy felt the warmth spreading inside him

– Is mom joining us? – he asked only hoping for an affirmative answer – I haven't seen her here for so long.

The old woman tensed up, but tried not to let him know that something was wrong. She smiled at him again, pushing him towards the table. She bit her lip and replied.

– Your mother took an extra job, which is why she's been gone so long. But I promise she'll be back soon. – she said truthfully, a little sadly.

Jake had abruptly blacked out because he had just found out that his mom was working a few jobs just to keep him entertained. Only once did he mention how much he likes IT classes, and she decided to sacrifice her well-being and exhaust herself in several jobs. It was then that he felt for the first time that he didn't deserve someone.

He felt it in such moments, when he saw empty packets of various pills, prescriptions from psychiatrists and sleepless, crying nights. For several years, Ophelia was sinking into an increasingly advanced depression, although she did not want to admit it to her sons. And it got worse as she watched the family of her ex-lover, Nathan Donfort, more and more. She saw all the photos his wife posted, which showed a complete family with two beautiful daughters. Smiling, happy and so full of love. Bitterness, sadness and rage seized her and dragged her down.

Jake was mature enough to understand the situation. It was when he turned fourteen and later fifteen that he and his mother began to have heated arguments about his father. The boy wanted to know who his father was, he wanted to meet him. No. He wanted to know why he abandoned them. Ophelia always brushed him off and never gave an answer. The boy didn't want to blame her - he had seen the condition she was in, which was mostly caused by Nathan Donfort. He never blamed her.

But he couldn't help his growing curiosity about his roots and the fact that he got in touch with his older half-sister Hannah thanks to the computer they had given him. When, after a few months of exchanging messages and talking with sister, his mother found out about it, their relation deteriorated even more. And now two people were blaming each other for Nathan's departure. Ophelia about being an insufficient woman, and Jake about being an unwanted child. Because Hannah also told the boy many things about her family, including her father. She portrayed him as a loving and caring father and husband. So what were they better at? What was the fault of a young, then seventeen-year-old girl completely blinded by love for an older man? And what was the fault of the defenseless and unawared boy with black hair and an innocent smile?

Jake felt rejected. Unwanted. Furious that, compared to him, Kaden had a perfectly normal father. Yes, he wasn't with their mom either, but he didn't abandon his son. So many times he wanted to tell Hannah the truth about what kind of man their father really was. However, he never did. He didn't want to be the reason their perfect family broke up.

When he didn't want to hurt his mother any more by soughting contact with the family of the man who broke her heart so he decided to break off contact with Hannah. But it was damn hard, because for unknown reasons, he became very attached to his unawared sister. The situation began to spiral out of control when girl began to show strange emotions towards him. Suggestions. He had no idea how he hadn't noticed it before. He was never good at interpersonal relationships. Hannah crossed the line when she sent him a picture in nothing but a bra. Jake reacted immediately, blaming himself for not finishing it sooner. He cut off contact with her, never returning to the topic in the years that followed.

November 31, 2016

He was awakened by the strong and poisonous smell of smoke. Disoriented and sleepy, he had no idea what was going on. The only sound he heard was the loud snoring of Kaden, who was sleeping on the bed next to him. He listened for a moment, and when another strange noise reached him, he stood up as if scalded. It sounded like... burning. Almost falling over the clothes scattered on the floor, he reached his sleeping brother and shook his body hard, screaming his name. A sleepy Kaden began to accuse him of interrupting his best erotic sleep with Pamela Anderson, but when he heard what was going on, he immediately turned serious and ran to wake up their mother.

Jake knew perfectly well what had caused the house fire. In the last few months he has become more and more interested in hacking and may have messed with some dangerous people. He didn't know what the consequences of his actions would be. He was just a kid who devoted himself to his passion and went down the wrong path for many. A path from which there was no return.

The three were forced to jump and escape through the window due to the flames cutting off their access to the door. Ophelia was slightly intoxicated from the sleeping pills she had taken the night before, making her unable to drive. Jake couldn't waste another moment, his pursuers might be right behind them. After all, they must have been somewhere in the area, after all, they set fire to his house.

– Jake, where are we going? – Kaden asked quietly, scared. Usually he was resolute and exuded ironic jokes, but now he knew how serious the situation was. All he knew was that his older brother was a hacker, and he was damn good at it despite his young age. It wasn't hard to guess that it was easy to get under the skin of the wrong people.

– Somewhere far. We'll stay at a hotel. And tomorrow we'll go to grandma's. – Jake tried to calm his younger brother, even though he knew perfectly well that he would never let his problems endanger another person close to him. He didn't want to admit it, but deep down he knew what he had to do.

He was driving dangerously fast, constantly veering onto country side roads, trying to avoid the traffic. With every mile that passed, he felt worse and worse, more and more guilty.

When they finally arrived at a town that was reasonably safe from being tracked until morning at least, he accommodated the three of them at the first hotel he came across. The receptionist gave a strange look to the black-haired boy who was supporting the barely conscious middle-aged woman, but she didn't ask any questions.

They entered the room they had been given, and Jake led his mother over to the couch. Just as he was about to leave her there, he felt her fists wrap tightly around his sweatshirt, not letting him leave.

– What's going on? – she hoarsed, and the boy looked at her face with a heavy heart. Her pupils were dilated and hands were shaking. Seeing her so lost broke his scarred heart. – What have you gotten yourself into, honey? Can I help you somehow?

Jake clenched his jaw tight to keep from crying.

– No. I can handle it. – he stammered, but his mother's embrace did not ease. Even though his eyesight was beginning to blur from the accumulated tears, he managed a gentle smile. – Don't worry, mom. Everything will be fine.

– Okay. I believe you, Jake. I believe you can fix everything. But promise me something. – he stopped, looking into his eyes, wiping a tear from his cheek.

– What?

– Don't get yourself into trouble any more. – she whispered, her voice breaking. –Whenever you need me, I'll be here. Please, don't ever leave me. I need you, honey.

More tears ran down Jake's cheeks.

– I promise.

But that same night he broke his promise. He broke it when he left the hotel in the morning, leaving his two closest people there. He left a part of himself that he never got back.

4 July 2022

A young woman was awakened in the middle of the night by a strange noise coming from the living room of their temporary apartment. In the dark, she touched the place next to her with her hand, but found only an empty and cold sheet. Burnt, she opened her eyes and got out of bed, listening to the sounds coming from the bedroom door.

Finally she left it and went to the living room, and the view she found there was forever etched in her memory and broke her heart.

She found Jake there, huddled behind the couch, his face red and wet from the tears that shook his body. The girl's heart completely broke when she heard his heartbreaking sobs. His matted hair fell over his forehead. Tears ran down his pale cheeks as he placed a hand over his eyes. The sight hurt. It hurt so much. She had seen Jake lose hope and be broken many times. The boy fell many times, but that night he fell for real.

He fell the moment when he fell to his knees, tears mixing with his every breath. He fell at the point where he had no strength to fight anymore. He fell the moment his last wall fell. One she had no idea about.

Jake rarely wanted to talk about his family. MC even though she was very curious, she respected his decision and never asked. But when she heard one sentence from him, in some strange, incomprehensible way, she knew.

– She is dead. – he whimpered, barely catching his breath – MC, she's dead.

Without thinking, she ran towards him, knocking over a few things in the process. But it didn't matter. Her eyes blurred with her own tears as she knelt beside him. He was still sobbing like a baby when she wrapped her arms around him with all her strength and pulled him to her chest as if she wanted to protect him from all the evil in the world. And he let her. He leaned against her breast, which he was soaking in increasingly hot tears. She squeezed her eyes shut, kissing and stroking his hair.

There were no words that could ease his pain right now.

– Kaden contacted me. – he croaked after a few minutes – Mom suffered from cancer, recently it got worse. And yesterday she left. She's gone forever, I'll never see her again. I will never hear her laugh or see her smile.

She hugged him even tighter, trying to make him even more comfortable.

– Shhh, I'm here. – she whispered, rubbing his back reassuringly – I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.

– I broke my promise to her. I left her. I should have been there for her, especially recently when she was sick. – he said, his voice breaking and a new spasm of tears seized his fragile body. – I'm just like my father.

– Don't even say that. You saved your mother because you loved her more than anything in the world. You had to do it then so as not to endanger her. I'm sure she knew it.

MC knew perfectly well that losing a loved one was one thing, but not being able to say goodbye was another. And much more hard amd painfull.

They didn't know how much time they spent like that, but the black-haired hacker finally began to calm down. She continued to hold him like a precious treasure, kissing his soft hair. With every minute that passed, he began to breathe more and more steadily, until finally the crying stopped completely. They remained silent.

– I'm destroying everything and everyone I care about.

– No. - she interrupted him with determination, and moved away from him slightly – Jake, paradoxically you are the reason why I did not destroy myself. And I'm sure your mom wasn't angry at you. She must have felt that you were protecting her in this way, just as she had protected you throughout your childhood.

His voice was empty. Exactly as he was inside now. Jake stared blankly ahead, his face red from crying for so long. Bloodshot eyes were still a bit glassy.

MC didn't know what to do next. How to fix it. How to make Jake a little lighter. But she knew that she would do anything to bring her beloved back to peace and happiness.

– Take me to her funeral. – he whispered barely audibly, which made her hug him again – I have to .. I have to say goodbye. And apologize.

At that point, it didn't matter the government or the danger they would expose themselves to. She just couldn't and didn't want to say no.

– Of course. – she replied immediately – We will go there together.

Jake gave her a light, barely noticeable smile. He regretted so much that he had lost so many precious moments that they could have shared together. He wished he had introduced MC to his mother, the woman who had completely changed his life. He was sure she would like her. Sometimes she even resembled her. Both were equally stubborn and defended their own opinion. He would turn back time just to tell his mother how much he loves her and how grateful he is for everything she has done for him. But it was too late for that.

Ophelia's spirit, however, saw it all and was finally able to leave in peace, seeing that her son had finally found his love, soulmate, and above all, the person who saved him from falling to the very bottom.

"It was night when you died, my firefly

What could I have said to raise you from the dead?

Oh could I be the sky on the fourth of july?

We're all gonna die"

would you be interested in a story about MC and Jake in the world of angels and demons? i'm playing a different game and i have a lot of ideas to combine duskwood characters to it

Another Love

Chapter 1 Heartburn

warnings: this fanfiction will tackle heavy topics such as mental health and violence. there will be sex scenes.

– Fuck!

This word was often repeated every morning in my apartment. I was not an early bird, quite the opposite. I definitely preferred to fall asleep late in the evening, often in the middle of the night, to sleep until noon. Unfortunately, I was no longer a teenager, but a twenty-three-year-old woman who had to go to work every morning to pay the rent and bills. Life was often a bitch, wasn't it?

More curses spilled out of my mouth as my windshield wipers sped faster than Dan making up another shitty joke. Or a meme. His memes sucked, though I never told him that.

Duskwood was usually cloudy and rainy at this time of year. This is the second time I am convinced of this, because I moved here exactly two years ago. At times like this, I ask myself why? I could live peacefully in sunny California, sipping drinks on my balcony. But sometimes life writes its own scripts without asking you.

The pouring rain made my commute a bit more difficult, but I finally made it to the office where I was supposed to stay for another eight or nine hours. My boss threw papers at my desk, which didn't bode well. Halfway through work, I looked at my co-workers. Since I was a child, I liked to observe, analyze and draw conclusions about human behavior. So it was also now. However, the current view made me drowsy boredom. A group of people locked in a glass building, caring only if their shitty paperwork will pay the rent and pay off the mortgage. Will it allow them to go out to dinner at a restaurant at the beginning of the month, or maybe they'll get lucky and they can afford four days away at the end of the year? Corpsrats whose minds were completely closed to the world around them. I was a hypocrite judging them. Because I was absolutely the same. I also chased after money, abandoning my dreams and passions.

Deep, philosophical considerations were interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Seeing the name on the screen, I smiled slightly, despite my obvious tiredness. I picked up right away.

– Hello, hello. - greeted a nice, almost singing voice, which finally regained this lovely note – I'm picking you up from work today.

– But..

– Without any buts. We'll be choosing decorations today, you can't be absent! Nobody I know has better taste than you. Besides, you know what Thomas is like. He'll agree with me about everything, even if I pick the worst shit.

I burst out laughing. There was no contact with Hannah for several weeks. She needed hours of therapy, shed tears, and shutting herself off from the world to recover. To understand what happened. Has she come to terms with it? Was there any reconciliation at all in this situation? No one in the group seemed to agree with it. Damn, how were they supposed to accept that their longtime friend, the man who always made them laugh, did something like that? They couldn't even talk to him. Only Jessy had this honor, but I don't know if it didn't affect her even worse. I was just a shadow. A hiding shadow that listened to their conversation.

– Okay, you convinced me. Be there at 4pm – I told her shortly and said goodbye. Maybe this day won't be so bad after all.

* * *

– Thomas, don't interfere. – I grumbled under my breath as I flicked through the catalog with bouquets

I heard his loud protests to which Hannah reacted immediately.

– Babe, you know I love you, but I'll be carrying the bouquet, not you. Unless you want too?

The man got angry and left us alone. I suppressed the urge to comment on her rather dubious choice of husband and rolled my eyes, but a mischievous smirk must have affected my face hearing my biting thoughts.

Did that sperm really win?

I stopped quickly when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

– I can see you're not getting along, but just a little more. It will be better after marriage. Thomas is just stressed out. – she assured me and I nodded – You know, two years ago it all ended. This anniversary has such an effect on him.

I felt a shiver run down my spine. How... how come it's been two years since this nightmare ended?

– Have you forgotten? – she asked, seeing the pale expression on my face

– N-No. – I coughed at my broken tone of voice. – It's just that... it's a bit weird? That, time flies so fast and we live like two years ago?

– Can we do otherwise? I think we'd be best off living for them. – she said, then smiled sadly and squeezed my hand – Have you been at his grave?

I sighed, slowly shooking my head.

– Me neither. I'm not ready for that yet. –she confessed honestly and my heart clenched. Today was the day I had to face my past.

Getting into the car, I typed into the GPS the cemetery, which was located on the outskirts of Duskwood. Half an hour later, I was there. I gripped the steering wheel, letting out shaky breaths. I had no idea how long I sat there, but I finally moved and took out the rose I had bought on the way out of the back of the car. It was intensely red, reflecting my feelings at that moment. My mind was unconscious, my feet led me all the way to the grave. No wonder, my body knew the way by heart. I looked up at the name carved on it.

Jake Donfort

I swallowed. One candle was lit, illuminating this late evening. So Lilly must have been here already. I crouched down and carefully placed the flower on his grave. It may have been two years, but some things haven't changed. My heart still burned as I remembered the black-haired hacker who once meant so much to me. Now my heart squeezed even tighter as I realized something else.

The memory of him was fading, a little at a time and I could feel myself forgetting.

Time passed inexorably, and my upside down life returned to normal. Two years ago, I couldn't imagine my life without him. We had a promise, right? He promised we'd meet. He promised he wouldn't let us be separated. However, his promise was burned with him in the mine fire because he never came back. Even though he said he would.

Another Love

Chapter 2: Burning pile

Previous chapter <-

warnings: sex scene, mental breakdown

I shut the door behind me loud enough for him to hear me come. We hadn't seen each other for a week and a half, and my whole body felt the separation. I managed to hang my coat on the hanger when I heard his hoarse voice from behind me.

– You came late. – he announced in a not very pleased tone – Where were you?

I bit my lip as I turned to face the tall, tattooed boy with his arms folded across his chest. He looked at me curiously, probably imagining what I could do. I decided to do what I can do best. To lie.

– My visit at Hannah's has been extended. You know, bouquets and decorations and all that stuff. – I replied giving him the best smile

The man visibly relaxed and then came closer to me, he was within reach of my hands. Trying to control the chaos in my mind, I pressed my lips against his without hesitation and threw my hands around his neck. The kiss was aggressive, dirty and needy from the start. Because that's what I needed at that moment. Or at least that's what my fucked up brain told me.

His strong hands found their way to my hips, gripping tightly. Our kiss deepened and our tongues joined in some kind of dance. I gasped as I felt his hands slide down to my ass and squeeze it tightly.

– Christ MC, what happened to you? – he asked between kisses with a slight laugh

I pulled away from his mouth and looked into his brown, warm eyes.

– It's been a really long day. – I murmured and my hand slid to his chest. – Would you like to help me relax?

A killing smirk played across the boy's lips as he grabbed my thighs without warning and lifted me up.

– With pleasure.

The rest of the night was just snippets for me. I remember we landed on the bed after that, his hot hands quickly stripping off whatever clothes I was wearing. He touched me firmly, and the feeling of his skin on mine was refreshing. I got rid of his leather jacket, which I threw in the corner of the room. We were naked, but I felt like I was back in summer California for a moment. Sweat poured from our bodies and hot breaths mingled with each other. I will always remember the moment he hovered over me, his eyes staring deeply into mine. He entered me and my gaze was clouded with lust. He was indecisive, sensitive. As if he allowed to overshadow lust with emotions.

Just not that.

I pushed him hard and he landed on his back. I sat on his lap and was instantly immersed in him. My body was driven by some crazy, animal need to control the situation, which was missing in my life now. The man's head tilted back slightly, and our breaths turned into moans and grunts. I rode him fast, his dick hitting the spot where I really needed it. It wasn't long before we both climaxed. In a rush of pleasure, I threw my head back and grabbed my breasts and started squeezing my already hard nipples. I came screaming his name.

– Phil! – several seconds later I tried to calm my raging heartbeat and rapid breathing. Phil pulled me to him, hugging me and drawing unfamiliar patterns on my back

– You are amazing. And hot. – he confessed, still trying to control his trembling voice. – It's really madness that I have a woman like you in bed.

Yes. It's madness.

* * *

Phil fell asleep quickly. It wasn't a surprise, he always did that after sex. So he didn't see me lying awake until dawn wondering what the hell I was doing. He didn't hear me as I slipped into the bathroom, slid down the door, and pressed my hand over my mouth to muffle the silent sobs that tore from my heart. Tears flowed down and I hated myself even more because I didn't know why. I made violent decisions, and later paid for it with tears and self-harm. I didn't know how much time had passed, but I finally got up from the cold tiles and went to the mirror. I wiped my tears, forced a smile. Barely visible, but a smile. I was strong. And what I've been through will only make me stronger. As usual, I vowed to myself that this was the last time I allowed myself to be broken like this. This is only a one-time situation caused by a visit to the cemetery. After all, I moved on.

I went back to bed and Phil didn't notice I was gone.

* * *

I woke up to light kisses on my neck. I furrowed my brow and hit the reason for my awakening. I heard a soft groan and opened my eyes.

– Even in your sleep you have to be aggressive? – He laughed and I slapped him twice as hard

– Never wake me up at – I checked the time on the clock on the nightstand. – Nine o'clock?" Are you crazy getting up at this time on a weekend?

– No, you're the sleeping beauty. – he replied back and I rolled my eyes. – Jessy will be there soon. You made an appointment with her and you weren't at the apartment, so I texted her that you are at my place.

I clenched my jaw slightly, but ignored all the comments I wanted to make about it. I got out of bed and quickly started getting dressed.

– Damn, this is the view in the morning. – I heard Phil's comments as he spread out on his bed. – We could do this more often.

I turned around and gave him a questioning look as I pulled on my pants.

– I mean.. well, maybe it's time we decided what our relationship is? – he paused, looking at my reaction. – Maybe we should move in together?

I stood frozen, staring blankly into his face. Phil, a womanizer just proposed to me? In a weird, twisted way, but still. I swallowed and nervously laughed.

– You know I care a lot about you. – he said very seriously, and I felt my palms sweating. – Damn, MC, I don't know what you did to me. I've never acted like this with any girl. And you are a walking mystery. Why won't you let me in? Why are you afraid of falling in love?

– Love is scary! This feeling of falling terrifies me. The only way it ends is with hitting the ground. – I replied sourly and saw him open his mouth to protest and start convincing me of his point. I closed my eyes and rubbed a hand over my forehead. – Shit Phil, I have no idea. I need more time.

– I've been giving you time for almost two years! – He raised his voice and I flinched

The silence was broken by the ringing of my phone. Jessy saved me from this dramatic conversation by informing me that she was already at the block.

– Look, I don't have the head to talk about this right now. I have to go. – I said quietly and heard the boy curse under his breath. I sighed and walked out of the room and out of his apartment.

With a heavy heart, I got into Jessy's red Volvo. Girl greeted me with a meaningful smile that said only one thing.

– So you're with my brother?! – she asked, not hiding her enthusiasm, which I quickly extinguished

– Jessy, we're dating. It's a big difference. – The girl sighed but nodded – I don't want to rush.

I've already rushed once and let my heart give itself to a man far too soon.

Jessy stroked my shoulder, which brought me some comfort.

– I'm sorry, I understand. I know I wasn't there when you needed me, so I don't want to put pressure on you. – she said honestly, and I felt my heart melt. We have only recently started to renew our relationship.

– Thank you. – I whispered, and my friend gave me a warm and sweet smile. – So we're going to breakfast?

The red-haired girl nodded with satisfaction and headed towards the Rainbow Cafe. Rihanna's well-known hits were playing on the radio, which additionally improved my mood. I watched the passing views through the car window. The blissful, pleasant moment was interrupted by the moment when on one of the streets I saw a man who was dressed all in black and had a hood on his head. I couldn't see his face, but the sight made me jerk my face up from the window.

– Jessy! – I said louder which scared the girl – Jessy, stop the car!

– What? Why?

– It was him! Jessy it was him. – The words flowed out of me like a maniac. Like I was in a trance. – Stop that fucking car!

Jessy stopped abruptly, and I hastily ran out of the car towards the alley where I had previously spotted the figure. No no no.

– MC? Who are you talking about? – she asked in a scared voice. – You scare me.

I was breathing fast, trying to find a suitable explanation for my behavior. I turned to Jessy and shook my head calmly.

– Something confused me. Never mind. – I waved my hand, ignoring my performance from a minute ago. – We'd better go get some food because I'm starving.

Jessy looked at me strangely until we got back to her car. I fastened my seatbelt and unfazed, began changing the song on the radio.

And I sat there with a calm and cold face as the pile burned inside me, just like in a radio song.

Another Love

Chapter 3: Runaway

Previous chapter <-

warnings: none i think but if you catch any, let me know in the comments!

A week has passed. 7 days, 168 hours since I last saw Jessy. I tried not to think about it, I was absorbed in preparations for the upcoming wedding and bachelorette party. I forgot my behavior in the car and the messages from Lilly I received on the evening of the ill-fated day.

Lilly: I know it's hard for you

Lilly: I know you see him too

Lilly: But that's impossible.

MC: I won't let you make me insane. Not this time.

Lilly: I'm not saying that at all. But it's impossible that you saw him.

This message was followed by a minute of silence, followed by another heartbreaking one.

Lilly: You can't see him because he's dead

I did not reply. In fact, the blonde didn't even wait for an answer. She simply closed the newly opened wound, which was slowly sticking together.

I looked at my reflection, searching for the old sparks that I knew had left my brown eyes forever. I scanned my body clad in a red dress that reached my mid-thighs. Seen view.. was decent. I was like a rose, though not fresh and fully bloomed, but dried up. Tonight was supposed to be a good evening. I was supposed to drink, play, dance and forget about God's world. Have fun like there's no tomorrow.

I heard a loud horn of a car that approached my block. I came down and immediately recognized Dan's black Volkswagen. I walked inside and breathed a sigh of relief as I smelled a familiar scent that only reminded me of this man. It had a very distinctive perfume, and in combination with the air freshener it calmed my senses and heart.

– Well, well, well. Someone struced up like a rat for the opening of the sewer.

I looked at him with narrowed eyes, but my feigned indignation couldn't last long once I saw his expression. I burst out laughing, nudging his shoulder hard.

– Gallant as always. – Dan chuckled and drove out of the parking lot. – You know, you keep on being nice to me, and I'm going to think you like me.

The man looked at me again, his other hand lowering his sunglasses to the tip of his nose.

– Who says I don't like you, honey? – he said, deliberately lowering his voice to sound like a lover in a cheap romantic comedy

I rolled my eyes, but there was a wide smile on my face.

– Eyes on the road, Jack Daniels.

I loved those moments when I got into that car and forgot about everything. Sometimes it was friday nights, other times we disappeared for the whole weekend. There was nothing dirty or romantic about our relationship. Of course, it was true that Dan was trying his luck by asking me out to watch horror movies together two years ago, but I'd never agreed to that. We realized that our connection is only platonic and that our hearts belong to someone else. Dan was unlucky in love with Jessy. He confessed this to me six months ago when I drove him drunk from Aurora. It was our first meeting with the whole group, even though I had been living in Duskwood for a year and a half at the time. I had no contact with them all this time, because the group completely shut down. Jessy was experiencing Richy's death, Cleo and Thomas tried to help Hannah in the meantime assimilating with the whole situation. Dan told me everything. About how he tried to be there for the redhead, but she rejected him.

The pack of friends was rapidly falling apart and no one knew how to fix it. I flew to Duskwood two years ago for Richy and Jake's funeral. And I don't even know how or when I stayed here until today. I left my old Californian life behind for a small town. In the States, I had no one worth staying for. I didn't have a family, and a handful of friends accepted my decision rather quickly. I thought it would be different here. That I will start all over again.

– And here we are. – he announced in an optimistic, cheerful voice getting out of the car – I'll bring alcohol and I'll take Tommyboy on the best party in his life.

Hannah's bachelorette party was to be held at her house. It was big enough to party, and she didn't want to do that in Aurora. We walked into her place and I was immediately hit by the loud music. I said hello to each person and showed Dan where to put the crate with various alcohol. We were still standing at the kitchen counter, discussing the evening ahead. We stay here, while Thomas and his friends go to Aurora.

Finally our eyes fell on the opposite end of the room where Hannah and Thomas were. They were joking about something, looking into each other's eyes while looking so happy. They looked like fulfilled lovers who overcame many adversities to finally stand on the wedding carpet and connect for life.

– How sweet. – Dan mumbled, and I immediately sensed the irony in his voice

– You have to be a jerk your entire life. Why not take today off? – I replied teasingly as he rolled his eyes

Although we always joked and turned it into sarcasm and irony, deep down we envied them a lot. That they succeeded and we did not.

– Oh, MC, you're here! – I heard a loud scream of Cleo who came over to me and hugged me – Hi Dan. Shit, I forgot to bring my phone upstairs.

– I'll bring you. I have to go to the bathroom anyway. Will you make me a drink? – I suggested to which she immediately agreed.

I did my physiological business and went to Hannah's room where the phone was on the bed. Picking it up, I saw that she was calling and showing her mother's number. I started to head to the ground floor of the house, where I heard loud screams. Looks like they're having fun already.

– Where the fuck have you been?!

I recognized Dan's voice, who was furious. I stood on the penultimate step looking at the group of people in front of me.

– Cleo, your...

The woman turned to me, and only then I saw the person standing in front of the front door. A shiver ran down my spine and my feet dug into the ground. The man was dressed in dark colors, and the hood of a black sweatshirt slightly covered his face. But even from this distance, I knew who he was. He was a ghost who haunted me on what was supposed to be my stepping stone. He couldn't let himself be forgotten.

I saw him lift his head, look from an enraged Dan to me. I felt his blue eyes piercing me. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I heard his voice.

– Hello MC.

I knew that voice was the thorns decorating my tense body. That voice was the beginning of my end. So without thinking, I turned around and started running upstairs, leaving them all behind me.

I ran away from him although once I would run for him.

Another Love

Chapter 4: The heart wants what it wants

Previous <-

warnings: language

– MC! Please open the door.

Lilly's pleading tone came from outside the door as I tried to get my breathing back to normal. No. It was impossible.

What the fuck happened?

My hands were shaking and my eyes filled with tears. I didn't know if I was dreaming again, and I made a fool of myself this time in front of everyone. I tangled my fingers in my hair, pulling it hard, trying to understand if the person I saw was just an illusion or not.

– I swear I'm gonna break down that door!

I took a few deep breaths, then unlocked the door and let the blonde in. I looked at her face and what I saw in her eyes was enough. It was enough for me to guess.

– Did you know?

Lilly swallowed, then looked down. Her hands were restless, she couldn't find the right place for them. She didn't have to answer, her body language betrayed her completely.I could not believe that.

– Did you know about it from the beginning? And yet, when I didn't believe it, you made me feel like a fucking insane?!

– It's not like that, MC. – she mumbled – It's… Jake. Jake told me to arrange his funeral and never tell you the truth.

It was another blow that made it harder and harder for me to breathe.

– You saw the condition I was in. – I started, trying not to let a single tear fall from my eye. – That every fucking day I blamed myself for his death!

She finally looked at me and I saw tears streaming down her cheeks. Her face was red from the shaking spasms of tears.

– Oh right. You couldn't know because you haven't spoken to me once since the funeral. – I added coldly, walking past her to leave the room. Looking at her was making me sick.

– Jake said it would be best for you.

I froze in the doorway hearing Lilly's sentence. The remnants of grief evaporated in a flash, leaving only anger. Stormy, burning anger. Without turning to face Lilly, I headed downstairs toward the front door. I was driven by pure rage at Jake. I wanted to hear why? Why the fuck did he do that and leave me for two years without any explanation?

There was a funeral atmosphere on the ground floor. Dan sipped whiskey, Cleo with Hannah and Jessy sat quietly on the sofa without exchanging a word, while Thomas paced around the living room, unable to find a place. Had he found out the truth? Or does he worry because he still thinks the hacker is his fiancée's lover?

As I ran down the stairs, all eyes turned to me. I clenched my jaw tight and asked.

– Where is he?

– He left. – Dan said sourly, then, looking at my condition, added – Don't do anything stupid.

I raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on his words. I was in such a state that if someone gave me a gun, I wouldn't be sure I wouldn't use it. I ran out of the house and onto the sidewalk, looking for a tall figure I hadn't seen anywhere. Disappointment rushed through my body, and undying anger caused me to kick hard at a rock that rolled into the street.

– MC?

I froze, feeling my pulse quicken and my heart almost leap out of my chest. I forced myself to look where the voice was coming from. I saw a hacker sitting nonchalantly on a black motorcycle. It was hard to see him because it was already late evening, but I could feel the intensity of his gaze even from this distance.

– You were waiting for me. – I said dryly and he nodded. There was a tense silence during which neither of us knew what to say. – After all this, all you have to say to me is "Hello MC"?

Jake scratched the back of his neck, apparently wondering what the most appropriate answer would be. You can see that his social skills haven't improved an inch in those two years.

– This is not the place for this conversation. I have a rented hotel room. We can go there. – he said carefully, and I tried not to let the hoarseness in his voice affect my thinking.

Alone with the person I hated at that moment? This couldn't end well. I didn't want to go anywhere with this liar.

– I can't. I should go back. – I spat out in a slight panic as I headed home

– If you still have a shred of trust for me, come with me. – he said softly, as if imploringly – Please.

I bit my lip as I fought my thoughts. My common sense was telling me to run as far away as possible and that our conversation would not bring anything good to my life. But the heart... The heart wants what it wants and I couldn't help but feel the wind in my hair when I sat on the motorbike, hearing the roar of the engine, tightening my fingers on the hacker's stomach.

For the first time in a long time, as he sped through the streets of Duskwood, disregarding all the rules, I felt free and so alive.

Another Love

Chapter 5: Hotel

Previous <-

warnings: argument, sex scene

Silence.

Tense silence reigned between us when the black-haired hacker hastily locked the door of room number 9. My attention was immediately caught by the desk with the boy's laptop on it. I didn't even try to understand the stamps and other numbers dancing on the screen. It could be hacking government data or counting down to the atomic bomb. I wouldn't even be surprised if it turned out to be the latter. Nothing was obvious with this man.

Jake took the mask off his face and sat down on the small couch, inviting me to sit with him. I shook my head and leaned against the wall. After another few seconds of silence as the hacker hung his head, I cleared my throat and he immediately looked up at me. I looked at him meaningfully, and Jake swallowed.

– What would you like to know?

I looked at him in surprise and of course a little anger. Is he fucking joking?

– I don't know, maybe I need an explanation? – I asked throwing up my hands – How come I was at your funeral two years ago and now you're sitting across from me like nothing happened?

– When I was in that mine and found out the FBI was already here, I knew it wasn't good. – he looked at me seriously with his blue eyes – However, I found a completely unknown exit that had not yet been patrolled. I had little time to come up with a plan. Then I came up with the idea of faking my death. I asked Lilly for help and she stubbornly agreed.

– But why didn't I know about it? – I asked, feeling my hands begin to tremble

– I figured it would be best for both of us.

That sentence made my heart completely take over my mind.

– I trusted you. With everything. – I started, feeling my voice shaking with anger – I blindly believed you, and you dare say that you knew what was best for me?!

– I dit it because I had to, not because I ever wanted to. – with these words he got up from the couch and very slowly started to approach me – I knew you well enough that I was aware that if you knew that I was alive, you would look for me. And the worst part is, I'd let you catch me.

– You could have explained it all to me! Fuck, did you even think for one second what I was going through!?

– You think it was easy for me?! Every day I wondered what would have happened if everything had gone differently. You corrupted every inch of my life, mind and sleep. But I did it so that you could get over it and go back to a normal, safe life.

We were both almost panting from the emotions we had held for so long. I felt the first tear fall from my eye, which I quickly wiped away. I hated showing weakness, especially in front of people I cared about.

– And I'm not a little child! I knew what I was getting into when I was contacting you. How could you be such a dick and decide for me?! – the words spilled out of my mouth mindlessly, but now I didn't care if they hurt him or not. – It was always like this. You made the decisions, and I dutifully obeyed. But this time was fucking different! You disappear, and I wonder what would have happened if I had gone to the mine. It wasn't about finding your sister, it was about your damn life! Do you know what it's like to blame yourself for the death of someone important to you?! You're a fucking coward, you know Jake?! Because now you're blaming it on my safety instead of admitting you're fucking selfish! And why do you come back here after two years and act like nothing happened? If you wanted to erase yourself from my life, you should do it permanently!

– I wasn't planning to meet you. – he cut me off in a calm tone again, and he was so close that I had to look up to meet his eyes. – I was here to meet Lilly. I'm still wanted, so I was supposed to leave tomorrow.

I looked at him with reddened eyes, not believing what I was hearing. I didn't know what hurt more, the earlier words or the fact that I wasn't important enough to him anymore that he didn't want me to know he was okay?

– Lilly planned it all. I didn't know there would be anyone else in that house but her. I didn't know you'd be there. – he continued stabbing daggers into my heart – And when I saw you, everything fell apart. I didn't know anything anymore. When I saw you ran away, I wanted to run after you and explain everything. But Dan stopped me. He told me to fuck off, and that's what I wanted to do. I was already sitting on the motorcycle, but why couldn't I start it? I couldn't, because I was bound to you by some strange, invisible thread. – he fell into some word flow through which I pressed my hand to the head, trying not to listen to him – You see what you're doing to me? I don't even know how to explain it.

– If you keep talking, I have no idea what I'll do to you. – I interrupted him and hot tears ran down my cheeks – Stop it.

– I just can't erase my feelings. Believe me, I have tried. – he did not stop, continuing the subject of feelings, and his blue eyes were so full of them that it hurt – I can't forget about you.

– What's your goal, huh? – I glared at him angrily, his vision blurred by tears. In a fury, I started pounding on his arms. – Why are you telling me all this? You weren't here!

– Take out all of your anger on me. – He cut me off suddenly and I gave him a dull look. He stared so deeply into my eyes that I shivered. – I see that's what you want. Do it.

His words gave me a momentary shock. For a moment I didn't know how to react, but finally I felt a new fire in my lungs that spurred me to action. It was too late anyway. Emotions and unspoken words flooded my body.

– You have no fucking idea how much I hate you. – I started and I could already feel the tears streaming down my cheeks down my neck and cleavage and disappearing under the dress I was wearing. – I hate you so much, Jake. – I punched him hard in the face and he let me. His head turned the other way from the force I put into the punch, but it didn't matter to me. It felt good to finally let out those suppressing and suffocating feelings. – Most of all I want to forget you, but now all that's left is hatred. And you know what's the worst, Jake? I don't mean that you faked your death and I didn't know about it. I hate you because you weren't there when I needed you the most. I didn't have anyone here and I thought I lost you too!

Another sharp blow, which he also took. As if he accepted his punishment with humility. I continued to hurt him with my words until finally when I was about to hit him again he firmly grabbed my hand stopping me from hitting him. He locked eyes with me and they were so angry and full of tears and emotion. He wiped the tears from my face with his other hand, then cupped my cheek. And he completely cut me off.

His lips pressed to mine. Surged to mine. Covered them. Hard.

He kissed me lustfully and hard, making me dizzy. Christ, he was so hungry for me. And I was for him, even though I was still trying to analyze what the fuck was going on.

Jake was kissing me.

Kissing me.

He let go of my hand, moving his other hand to my face as well. He kissed me like there was no tomorrow, like I was dream or imaginary. He took my breath away, and I didn't owe him. I tangled my fingers in his hair and Jake pinned me against the wall. My nimble fingers began to strip him of his clothes, and he tried to unbutton my dress. I don't remember how we ended up in the bedroom, on the hotel bed and the only clothes left on my body were panties.

For that moment, I felt like I was in another reality and as if our separation didn't exist or didn't matter. I slowly and tastefully brushed those wonderful lips with mine, digging my nails into the nape of the boy's neck. But not so gently, he turned me to face the sheets and pressed my head firmly against it.

– Bend over and spread your legs. – he demanded throatily, slapping my ass and choking my moan – Please.

I rested my hands on the sheets, obediently obeying his command, additionally melting under the influence of his unearthly voice, which I could listen to all day.

He firmly grabbed the fabric of my lace red panties and slid them down my legs, leaving me completely naked.

– Is it okay? – he whispered over my ear, pressing my naked ass to his crotch, his hand circling my clit creating unimaginable pleasure.

I replied with a short mumble, wanting this more than anything in my entire life. He massaged me with his fingers and moaned with me as I writhed like a helpless animal beneath him. But I wanted something more. I wanted to feel all of him.

– Fuck me, Jake. – I mumbled

I clutched the scraps of white sheet in my hands, uttering loud curses as I felt his cock at the very entrance.

He covered my mouth with his hand, placing his finger between my lips, which I immediately sucked. Before entering me deeply, he brushed my wetness several times with his head all the way down my clitoris. The tension between us built, our moans merging as he moved faster and faster inside me.

– Fuck. – he swore racily, his fingers tightening on the top of my head, which was still pressed against the mattress

– Harder. – I gasped as I felt another punch to my ass. He pulled my hair into a ponytail and pulled my head back, biting my earlobe.

– Could he make you feel as good as I do? –he asked, but I couldn't form a meaningful sentence at the time. His thrusts were brutal and ruthless. Like he was pouring out all his anger and stress from the whole fucked up situation. I suspected he was talking about Phil, though I had no idea how he knew that. He responded to my loud and pitiful moans with a soft, hoarse laugh – You're mine.

He growled the last words into my ear, then let go of my head again and pressed my neck against the bed. I was a mess, ready to do anything to keep the pleasure going. I was sure that the marks of his strong hands on my hips and ass will stay with me for a long time.

Not long after, he changed position and this time he spun me around, hovering over me, wiping his sweaty forehead with his forearm in the process. He kissed me ferociously on the lips, and I deepened the kiss, wishing the man would never leave again.

He lifted one of my legs, caressed it tenderly and placed gentle kisses on it, then placed it on his shoulder and again enterned me deeply. We were panting at the same time, and Jake additionally grabbed my wrists and placed them above my head.

It was hard for me to focus on anything, because of the overwhelming pleasure I couldn't stick a sentence together. I knew one thing - I had never experienced such emotions before, even though I was not inexperienced. I've had sex with a few people who did it damn well, but tonight was different. Today I connected with a man for whom I had deep feelings without even seeing his face or hearing his voice. Now, after more than two years of longing, I could see him. Kiss him. Touch him.

– Jake! – I cried as he pressed his other hand to my throat. Our eyes met each other. Warm brown with cold, analytical blue. Jake looked like a fallen angel. His black, disheveled hair, lips swollen from our kisses and deep gaze staring straight at me, which completely consumed me, made my lower abdomen tighten more and more.

I was incredibly close to orgasm, which the boy must have felt, because I felt his long fingers on my clitoris, which after a while he began to massage. I could barely bear it. I arched and rolled my eyes in lust as I heard his loud, heavenly moans of pleasure close to my ear.

After a short while orgasm completely took over my body. I clamped down on his dick, coming with his name leaving my mouth. I tugged hard on the ends of his black hair, tilting my neck back.

I barely opened my eyes, and in that very moment, I reveled in the warmth spreading inside of me. Jake let out a hard moan, stopping his lips to my exposed neck, which he began to bite. He stopped moving, but didn't pull his dick out of me for a while.

After a few moments, he left my body and lay down, dragging me with him. I didn't protest. He pulled me into his chest and I cuddled up to him as tight as I could. I breathed in his scent, enjoying the simple human closeness. After all, I didn't know if I wasn't dreaming. As I was on the verge of sleep, I heard his hoarse whisper.

– I missed you.

Summer Love

author's note: I had a dream that Jake and MC had met before and I had to share it

Prologue

summer 2014

Dear diary,

They say that in every girl's life there must be that one boy she will never forget and the summer in which it all happened. I never believed it but...

But when I am writing this, I am dying to miss his blue eyes and the hot summer evenings when we experienced it all.

Maybe they were right after all?

In The Stars

author's note: i missed writing one shots (you also know that i love writing sad stories) hope you like it!

She couldn't tell fact from fiction anymore.

She hadn't slept through the night in so long because thoughts of him haunted her constantly. Every attempt to nap ended the same way. With her eyes closed, she saw the hundreds of messages she exchanged with him. From the worst ones, where both lacked hope, but their presence gave them strenght, to the sweet ones, where they forgot about the world around them. Where the group, the Hannah search or the government didn't matter. Where they were just two people who were blindly in love with each other. Where in these small moments they could breathe a sigh of relief and find their own definition of peace.

She was reliving them all. And she regretted so much that those moments were so few. That she didn't get to know him fully. That they did not experience what other lovers in great romantic novels did.

Despite the passage of time, she could not come to terms with it, much less erase it from her memory. Then it was all about him. Every thought, every dream or whisper in her head. She never expected his departure to be so painful. The hole that was still bleeding in her heart was making her breathing more shaky than normal. Every day she fell apart, only to put herself back together again in the evening. However, after the nightmares that haunted her at night, the morning came when she had to face the world again, pretending that she was still alive, even though she couldn't live anymore.

Every day she tried to forget everything. Get rid of every memory left of him. But she felt him all the time. And she was sure that she will always feel him.

A few months later she was sitting on the edge of the roof, her legs hanging loosely and the cool night wind chilling her body. The night was absolutely beautiful. A full moon and thousands of stars illuminated her face. With a sigh, she reached into the pocket of her black sweatshirt to pull out the box of pills she put away each day. She poured some into her palm and swallowed them without sipping. She closed her eyes, blowing steam from her mouth due to the low temperature. She tried to let herself feel the blissful state she usually felt after the drugs that somehow allowed her to fight another day.

– Bad day?

Hearing a soft voice behind her, she immediately opened her eyes and turned her head.

He was standing there. In the darkness of the night she couldn't see his face, but the silhouette of the hacker made her feel a longed-for peace. A pleasant warmth spread inside her, as if someone had poured hot water on her frozen body.

– You are here. – she whispered in a trembling voice – You're here again.

She watched as he started walking towards her, nodding his head in response. He sat down next to her. His face was still blurred as if pixelated, but she could recognize his blue eyes, which were always calm, harmonious, and warm. So much warmth that could have lulled her to sleep. They felt so real that once again she was sure it was really him.

– You know these meetings of ours are... – He paused and scratched the back of his neck, searching for the right word. – Alarming.

She smiled. However, the smile did not last long, because after a few moments tears stung under her eyelids and she was not going to stop them. Not here and not with him.

– You can't keep doing this.

– I'm trying to quit it, all the time, but it's just too hard. – she looked down at her lap and he took her hand

But she felt nothing but coldness and lasting emptiness.

Then she burst into even more sobs that shook her whole body. She choked on it, as she had that night when she found out about the mine explosion.

– Please don't cry. – he said softly as his other hand caressed her cheek where he was wiping away the tears – It's okay.

– No, it's not. – she croaked – Tell me what I can do to make you stay? What can I do so you won't leave?

He looked straight into her eyes, still gently holding her cheek, on which he was drawing patterns unknown to her with his thumb.

– You can't do anything because you know perfectly well that I'm not..

– Please don't say that – she whimpered, looking pleadingly into his eyes

She didn't want to hear it because each time it felt like the hole in her heart was growing even bigger.

– I'm not here, MC.

The words vanished into the air with the gust of wind. MC squeezed her eyes shut as more hot tears ran down her face. She hated those moments. She hated them because even though she knew he was right, she still couldn't accept it.

She opened her eyes and the seat next to her was empty. He hadn't been there for long, endless months. He never showed up. It was only an illusion and an image of her riddled psyche, which she could not part with. It was the last thing left of him.

It's been five whole months. She knew that tomorrow would be another day when no one would notice that something was wrong. And she would come back here again to feel his presence for a while. In the middle of the night, where only the stars will witness their meeting. She knew it was bad for her. But she couldn't muster the courage to say goodbye.

More than anything in the world, she wished Jake would still haunt her.

"I don't wanna say goodbye, 'cause this one means forever

And now you're in the stars and six-feet's never felt so far

Here I am alone between the heavens and the embers"

Another Love

Chapter 6: Cherry

Previous <-

author's note: sorry for the long break in chapters. there was supposed something else going on in this chapter, but I dragged it out as I was writing. You can expect the next chapter after the weekend. lot of love and i hope you'll like it! <3

I screwed up. I knew it when I slipped out of bed in the morning and put on my dress from the last evening. I did it as quietly as possible so as not to wake up the still sleeping hacker. How come he didn't wake up? In fact, I tried to keep it quiet, but Jake always seemed like the kind of person who never felt safe and secure enough to be in such a deep sleep.

I was already at the door the last time I looked at him. He was lying on his stomach, his arms wrapped around a pillow. He was covered with a duvet from the waist down, so that the newly rising sun shining in pink streaks illuminated his scratched back. My heart sank at the sight. I was wondering who did this to him? His entire back was adorned with scars. Some were smaller, and some were heartbreaking with their size. I could imagine how painful it must have been for him.

I thought about why I was doing this. I had to think about it alone. Without anyone's glance, advice or words. I felt overwhelmed by everything that happened yesterday. I didn't regret anything, but it still felt weird. I needed a moment to think it over and get used to it. Yesterday's emotions and anger subsided, now I had to come to terms with this feeling and wonder if I was able to forgive Jake.

Did I want to forgive him?

I gave him one more look before silently walking towards the bed. The black-haired man let out a loud sigh and then snored softly. I smiled and warmth spread inside me. I leaned in and kissed his hot cheek. Perhaps I've been doing it too long. However, after a few moments, without turning around, I left the room and the hotel building.

I walked for a few minutes, the crisp air caressing my body and hair. I thought about the whole situation. But one thought overshadowed all others. Jake lived and was whole and healthy.

Jake was alive.

Incredible relief and childlike joy filled my veins. At one point, I stopped and leaned against the wall of the building, because it made my head spin. Yesterday's anger almost evaporated and left a place for ... understanding? Of course, I was still outraged by how Jake had treated me, but I couldn't be angry with him for long. My outburst of anger was caused by suppressing my emotions. I didn't let them get to me, I lived in one pattern that suited me, completely excluding feelings. Work, apartment, casual sex. It all went away when Jake came back into my life. He broke a barrier that was deep inside of me.

My mouth twisted into a wide smile. I also felt my eyes fill with tears. But I haven't felt this light in a long time. I looked around and the world around me became... friendlier? The colors became more vivid and the air began to smell like my favorite fruit. July cherries that grew in a Californian park near my house. The last time I felt this happy was two years ago. When I was texting with a mystery hacker. I was completely different then. I sniffed, letting the tears soak my hot cheeks. I was almost levitating off the ground and almost punched myself in the face as I remembered Jake's words.

I'm leaving tomorrow.

He'll be gone in a few hours.

Could I let him go again if I just got him back?

I quickly wiped my face and turned around. I'm not gonna act like Jake. I won't let us be separated this time.

* * *

Jake's POV

I woke up and automatically knew something was wrong. The first one was the fact that I woke up fully rested. I haven't felt it in about six years. Why did I sleep so long?

Because you were with her, you idiot. And finally you felt safe.

Still without opening my eyes, I reached my hand over to the other side of the bed. It was cold. Empty.

Nothing has so refreshed me in a long time and woke me up immediately. I sat up, staring at the empty room. It was nothing new. I was used to solitude and silence. However, the silence had not been as overwhelming as this morning for a long time.

So she left.

I had no right to judge her. After all, I was the one who left her without explanation for two years. Despite this, I felt a terrible emptiness because I didn't have time to talk to her without anger. Without screaming. We parted without saying goodbye again.

I had no idea how long I sat in one place staring at the wall. The ringing of the phone snapped me out of my trance. I furrowed my eyebrows but picked up immediately.

– Hello Lily. – I greeted, and my voice was automatically transformed by one of the changers

– Is MC still with you? – she asked in a shaky voice that sent a shiver down my spine. – Please tell me she's with you.

– She's not here. – I swallowed and my palms began to sweat – What's going on, Lilly?

– There's no contact with her. I wanted to apologize, but she didn't answer which is not like her. I asked others to try too, but that didn't work either.

In the background, I could hear the muffled voices of Jessica, Dan and Hannah. But I was paralyzed with fear. The terrifying, relentless fear of losing the only person I cared about.

I don't know when I hung up, but the phone fell from my trembling hands. Her handbag, which she had forgotten to take, caught my attention. I opened it immediately, looking for something that would allow me to create a plan. I've always had one, haven't I? I never lost my common sense and cool calculation of evidence. However, inside I found only her wallet and a scarf.

A scarf that still smelled like her and her cherry perfume.

Another Love

Chapter 7: Hostage

Previous <-

warnings: mention of blood

Jake's POV

At first I thought that the day I had to leave my family, home and everything I cared about was the worst day of my life. Then another shadow came in the form of my sister Hannah being kidnapped. The fear of losing the only family I had left was paralyzing. Worse yet, it happened right in front of my eyes. In truth, through a video call, but the more anger and fear was greater because I couldn't do anything.

However, these two days of my life had no comparison to the one where MC went missing.

I immediately abandoned my plan to leave Duskwood. I didn't care about the consequences, being caught or being recognized. The only priority at the moment was the MC. The woman who took over my whole life. It may have been two years, but my feelings for her have not diminished. Yes, I left her, but I did it for her sake. I know it was selfish, but from the beginning I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew our relationship wasn't going to work, that's why I resisted it for so long. Unfortunately, I did not foresee that the heart is a dictator and not a servant, and I was unable to resist my growing feelings for the brown-haired woman for so long. I broke her heart with many things. A fake funeral, leaving, a declaration of love. But I couldn't tell her to her face that we had to part ways. I knew that if she asked, she would say even one sentence - I would agree. And this would put her life at risk.

The people who want to get me are not gangsters who will forgive your mistakes for even the most sincere apology. They are people who thirst for blood. They want to spill as much as possible, and I was the one who particularly got under their skin. Over the years, my morale has made me many enemies. And the government was just one of them. I became convinced of their brutality and not forgetting old mistakes. Because they never forgot, much less forgave.

The day after the news of the disappearance of MC dragged on mercilessly. I tried to separate emotions from reason, although with each passing hour more and more feelings and panic began to take over my brain and body. I was looking for any clue that would bring me closer to finding the MC. But she literally disappeared without a trace. It was as if she had melted into the cool, rainy air.

Was she scared? Was she able to defend herself? Or was she unable to do anything because she was shackled? Did her captors treat her with brutal violence? Did she realize that I was doing everything I could to find her and that I would never leave her like this? Has she lost hope of being released? Has she lost hope in me?

Was loneliness killing her? Has the silence in the dark loneliness become louder than the screams?

All I knew was that if loneliness was going to drown me, I'd like to die with her. Wherever she was. Because even during the short time in which we met, loneliness was no longer as onerous as it used to be.

In the afternoon, while I was intently searching for any camera that could record the MC's whereabouts, I heard muffled voices and screams from the hotel corridor. I tensed, listening to who the voices belonged to. Moments later, I heard a sharp tug on the doorknob of my room and a loud bang on the door.

– Open or I'll break the door! – she screamed, pounding harder and harder – I'm not joking!

I hurried out of the bedroom and opened the door. And in front of me stood an angry Jessica with Dan and Thomas. The redhead was flushed with anger, and Dan seemed just as upset, even though he hid it better. Surprised, I didn't realize when Jessica, entering inside, pushed me hard.

– Why has it all started again since you came back? – she asked, looking me straight in the eyes, and the hatred that flowed from them was hard and overshadowed everything else. – History comes full circle. Someone close to me has gone missing. And it's all because of you!

I stared at her with my jaw clenched tightly. I listened and couldn't stop because she was right.

– Jessy… – Thomas began

- No, not Jessy! – she interrupted him with a scream. – I thought you were worth it all! That she will be fine with you, that she will finally regain the love and light she lost! But Dan was right when he said you're just a son of a bitch. You had everything and you left her. You shouldn't go back. You came back and she got lost because of your problems and people looking for you! You never deserved her. You don't deserve a good and loving person like her.

At one point, Thomas grabbed her and began to drag her towards the exit. But the redhead kept throwing accusations at me that hurt all the more because I knew she was right.

– I hate you! – she kept screaming, thrashing like a captive animal. – And I'll hate twice as much if you make me lose MC too!

Thomas took her down the hall, and Dan finally gave me a look. Surprisingly, there was no hate in him, just an unspoken plea.

– Promise you'll find her.

I swallowed.

– I promise.

But that day, Jessica came back to my room in the middle of the night crying, repeating like a mantra that we both didn't deserve her. She was right about that too. We didn't.

* * *

Honestly, after a day of searching, I was even hoping that the government had found her. They could be brutal, but they'd make a deal to take me and let her go. However, this hope evaporated when two days later I found a small box under the door of my room. I opened them and the sight paralyzed me.

Inside lay a bloody finger with a medium-length red nail on which was a ring. Exactly what the MC wore.

There was also a piece of paper with a chic, elegant handwriting.

Hurry up and find your lover because she already has many buyers for different parts of her body. ;)

Another Love

Chapter 8: Someone to stay

Previous <-

warnings: mention of suicide attempt

Jessy's POV

– Do you know that she saved me?

I whispered, looking into the distance. The sky wasn't beautiful. It was overcast so you couldn't see the stars. It was dark, gloomy and cold. It accurately reflected my condition as well as my companion's.

– Not only you. – Jake replied, his voice was hoarse

I looked up through my teary eyes at his face, which was illuminated by the moonlight, to see the shadows under his eyes have become even more pronounced. He was so tired.

– A few days after Richy's funeral, I wanted to die. – I started again without looking at him. All the walls around our broken hearts have fallen, leaving only the truth. A devastating truth. – I drank myself into unconsciousness even though I hadn't done so in a good few years. And I was standing there. On the bridge, swinging over the edge. I..

The hacker was tense. It was probably one of the few conversations he had with another human being. But I had to confess my sins. They've weighed heavily on my heart for too long, and Jake seemed like the only person who would listen to me at the moment.

– I was already wondering how far I would fall. How long will it be before I die? Will it be immediate or will it be endless agony? - I sniffled, fighting tears - But suddenly I heard a MC behind me. She screamed not to do it. To come home with her. What home - I thought then? Duskwood was no longer my home since I found out that the person closest to me was someone else entirely. He was a liar. Richy kidnapped and held Hannah, and a few hours later he would come to the workshop and joke with me like he always does. He did all that and then he just gone.. He killed himself and left me alone.

We were both silent for a while. I looked at his profile out of the corner of my eye. He stared at the sleepy, unlit buildings before him. I think he was very lonely. Lonelier than he lets on. Maybe lonelier than he even realizes.

– Then I felt her touch. She didn't yank me, but lightly touched my arm to make me turn around. And then I saw that she was crying too. That I wasn't the only one suffering. – my voice started to crack – It was soothing. And you know what we did then? We sat there and started drinking what was left in my vodka bottle. We drank and cried because that was all we had left. At that time, we were convinced that the people we loved the most in the world had been taken away from us. But I'll never forgive myself for what I did the next day.

I could barely speak through the spasms of tears. I was all red and trembling from them.

– The next day I packed up and left Duskwood without telling her. No apologizing. No thanking for saving a life.

I hid my face in my hands, feeling despair and shame again. Jake sighed heavily, probably hating me even more.

– I'm sure she understood.

– Of course she understood! – I burst out – I came back after half a year and when I talked to her, she didn't hate me. She said she fully understood me and that I had the right to do so. Leave, forget and come to terms with what happened. MC is the kind of person who will stay with you no matter what. She is the sun when the storm is spreading chaos all around. That's why I know I don't deserve her. Because when I left her alone, she welcomed me with open arms.

I swallowed and felt his intent gaze on me. He listened to me but did not judge.

– I've hurt a lot of people, Jake. After what Richy did, I completely changed. I pushed Dan away. MC. Everyone. I preferred to be alone so that I would never be disappointed in anyone again. To never experience the same emptiness, griefing. But it was a mistake. I was an egoist who forgot the existence of others. I forgot that Dan, Thomas and Cleo lost a friend too. I forgot Hannah was being held by a friend. And I forgot that MC lost you.

Something in his face moved. I could see how despair gripped his throat.

– So please don't make my mistake again. When you find MC, and I know you will, don't leave her. This special person who saved us all needs someone to stay with her too.

Another Love

Chapter 9: Panic room

Previous <-

warnings: physical and psychological violence, abuse of bodily integrity

MC's POV

I woke up and was greeted by complete darkness.

My body was tense, probably from lying indefinitely on the cool cement. I shook my neck and heard the characteristic snap of bones. I felt a great thirst. Is it because of the drugs they injected me? They probably caused dehydration of the body. I strained my eyes, trying to see anything that would tell me where I was. Unfortunately, the room was unlit, and the only thing I knew was that it was cold in here and that I was lying on cement.

I stood up on shaky legs and immediately had to lean against the wall because of the dizziness and headache. I haven't been standing for the last... Exactly how long have I been in this darkness? How long has it been since that early morning when I left Jake? I cursed myself deep down for ever leaving that fucking motel. After a few minutes I regained control of my body, so I headed towards the door where I saw a small window, which unfortunately was covered with bars. A streak of light suddenly shone through that small window. So someone turned on the light in the hallway.

I stood in front of the door and pounded on it with all my strength.

– What do you want from me?! – I screamed, still pounding until my knuckles started to burn

Less than 5 minutes passed, and I heard footsteps, and the door flew open forcefully pushing me from the exit. Four men dressed in dark shades entered the room. They had hoods on their heads, so I couldn't see their faces. My heart began to beat mercilessly fast, painfully pounding against my chest.

– Sleeping Beauty has finally graced us with her presence. – one of them said, and his voice made me shiver with fear. But I wasn't about to give them the satisfaction.

– Who are you? – I asked again, trying to control my voice. – What do you want from me?

The man who had spoken earlier took a few more steps to stand in front of me. I could feel his warm breath on my cheek and his hand touching it.

– It's nothing personal, birdie. – he said, his thumb grazing my lower lip. – But your lover got under our skin. Tell me how does it feel to be his whore?

I clenched my jaw, trying not to let my anger influence my behavior. I might have done something I would regret.

– I don't know what you're talking about.

– Don't pretend to be dumber than you are. – he growled with undisguised anger – Fucking Jacob. But you probably prefer to call him Jake, don't you? What else do you call him? Jakey? Sweetie? Or maybe my lion?

You can see he was a Game of Thrones fan.

I felt him staring at me intensely, but I remained silent.

– Are you silent now? – he asked with dripping irony. – I'm sure those pretty lips can make a sound. Your dear Jake has heard them already?

– Screw you.

I felt a hard slap on my cheek, which made my face contort the other way. The force of the impact made my ears stop, but in the background I heard an unknown man shouting something to the others. Suddenly, my eyes stung terribly as the lights in the room turned on.

I had to blink a few times to get used to the brightness. I didn't even have time to register how the other two men grabbed me by the arms and pulled me towards a chair I hadn't seen before. I was kicking like an animal, scratching their hands and screaming senselessly for which I got another punch, this time in the stomach. I tried not to cry out in pain as they tied my ankles with rope to the legs of the chair.

– We'll hurt you worse if you won't shut up. – one of them said, moving away from me

I moved my bound limbs to see if it would be possible to get out of the grip of the ropes. Well, it was a miracle. I looked up, meeting the man in front of me. Now I could see his face. He was about 40 years old and had a beard on his face. His eyes were the color of spring grass.

– You want to get Jake, I already know that. But what did he do to you? – I asked, subconsciously contracting my muscles to loosen the bonds just a little

– You think you know him, but the truth is you don't know shit about him. – he answered shortly, and I saw that he was holding a gun and a hunting knife in his belt. – Didn't you know that your hero Jake has something to do with an organization that sells organs?

– You think I'll believe you? – I replied as he raised his eyebrows and smiled genuinely

– You are naive. You think a hacker with skills like him will waste his time hacking games or some shit? – he asked looking me straight in the eye. I swallowed. – Darling, Jacob helped us find people with the healthiest organs. You probably know that he's capable of finding all sorts of information about people, right? Health cards, jobs, private life. He gave it all to us on a platter so that later other people would properly take care of such a unit. He knowingly sent them to certain death.

It's all lies. Don't believe them, MC.

My heart stopped and my stomach twisted in unpleasant spasms. I was starting to feel stuffy.

– That's true, birdie. – He walked over to me and crouched down so our faces were on the same level. I dully and stubbornly looked at my lap, but his firm grip on my jaw made me look at him. His strong touch almost crushed my chin. – We don't have to cut you. You just need to tell me where he is.

– I don't know. – I answered immediately – Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you anything.

A soft laugh escaped his lips before he gripped my hair tightly and pulled my head back. I groaned in pain.

– I totally understand why he likes you so much. – he muttered, holding on tight – I'd like to tame such a wild girl too. See her begging for mercy.

He let go of my hair and took a knife from his belt. I began to breathe faster, watching as he cut my dress with a decisive and quick movement. He ripped it off my body leaving me in my underwear. I flinched and thrashed in my chair as he devoured my almost naked body with his gaze while his knife wandered over it.

– Enough.

I lifted my eyes to the door where a man a little younger than the others was standing. I realized that he was probably in charge of the entire organization. He had a distinctive mustache and piercing brown eyes. He raised his hand, and the man in front of me reluctantly moved away.

– Sorry, they still haven't learned any manners. – he said to me, and there was some crazy smile on his face – How’s it feel to be in here, princess?

I shivered as I smelled his scent. His aura reeked of blood and corpses.

– I'd prefer my bed, but it could be worse. – I replied making him chuckle

– Little miss sassy. – he muttered under his breath and walked over to me. I held my breath, expecting the worst, but with a sigh he crouched down and untied the ropes. As much as I wanted to fucking move my limp limbs, I was frozen like a stone, afraid to move. – You can call me an Artist.

I nodded my head slightly. He looked at me with some madness in his eyes. He must have been imagining me with my throat slit or my guts torn out.

– You must think we're monsters. – he said, and his tone was appallingly sad and serious. – Look at it another way. We help people in need. We save the lives of people who urgently need a transplant, and waiting in hospital queues would kill them.

– By killing others? By depriving them of choice? You are ruining the lives of their families as well.

Artist clucked impatiently.

– You're very pessimistic about it. – he admitted and his fingers began to move over my body like a brush on a canvas. – You will be my greatest art, dear MC. You don't know how long I've waited to have someone like you here.

And then he left with everything else. He slammed the door shut and I immediately ran to it and slammed it with my hand.

– Let me out! – I screamed. – I won't tell you anything, so you might as well kill me right now!

I will not give them control.

In the window I saw the man who had torn off my dress earlier.

– Don’t scream, you’re only wasting your precious energy. – he said, licking his lip disgustingly – Or scream. It's turning on and no one here will hear you anyway.

I slid down the wall, no longer holding back tears. I felt bile in my throat, because through the eyes of my imagination I saw my own death. Slow and painful. I was shaking, unable to catch my breath.

Soon after, the lights went out. They tried psychological tricks, trying to break me. They gave me apparent freedom by getting rid of the ropes, but by locking me in complete silence and darkness, they knew they had control over me.

I never thought that silence could be louder and more overwhelming than screaming.

Then I swore one thing. I won't let them break me even if it means that they will kill me.