What The Heeeeell

what the heeeeell

how fast time flies

thank you all for being here💟💟

Another Love

Chapter 6: Cherry

Previous <-

author's note: sorry for the long break in chapters. there was supposed something else going on in this chapter, but I dragged it out as I was writing. You can expect the next chapter after the weekend. lot of love and i hope you'll like it! <3

I screwed up. I knew it when I slipped out of bed in the morning and put on my dress from the last evening. I did it as quietly as possible so as not to wake up the still sleeping hacker. How come he didn't wake up? In fact, I tried to keep it quiet, but Jake always seemed like the kind of person who never felt safe and secure enough to be in such a deep sleep.

I was already at the door the last time I looked at him. He was lying on his stomach, his arms wrapped around a pillow. He was covered with a duvet from the waist down, so that the newly rising sun shining in pink streaks illuminated his scratched back. My heart sank at the sight. I was wondering who did this to him? His entire back was adorned with scars. Some were smaller, and some were heartbreaking with their size. I could imagine how painful it must have been for him.

I thought about why I was doing this. I had to think about it alone. Without anyone's glance, advice or words. I felt overwhelmed by everything that happened yesterday. I didn't regret anything, but it still felt weird. I needed a moment to think it over and get used to it. Yesterday's emotions and anger subsided, now I had to come to terms with this feeling and wonder if I was able to forgive Jake.

Did I want to forgive him?

I gave him one more look before silently walking towards the bed. The black-haired man let out a loud sigh and then snored softly. I smiled and warmth spread inside me. I leaned in and kissed his hot cheek. Perhaps I've been doing it too long. However, after a few moments, without turning around, I left the room and the hotel building.

I walked for a few minutes, the crisp air caressing my body and hair. I thought about the whole situation. But one thought overshadowed all others. Jake lived and was whole and healthy.

Jake was alive.

Incredible relief and childlike joy filled my veins. At one point, I stopped and leaned against the wall of the building, because it made my head spin. Yesterday's anger almost evaporated and left a place for ... understanding? Of course, I was still outraged by how Jake had treated me, but I couldn't be angry with him for long. My outburst of anger was caused by suppressing my emotions. I didn't let them get to me, I lived in one pattern that suited me, completely excluding feelings. Work, apartment, casual sex. It all went away when Jake came back into my life. He broke a barrier that was deep inside of me.

My mouth twisted into a wide smile. I also felt my eyes fill with tears. But I haven't felt this light in a long time. I looked around and the world around me became... friendlier? The colors became more vivid and the air began to smell like my favorite fruit. July cherries that grew in a Californian park near my house. The last time I felt this happy was two years ago. When I was texting with a mystery hacker. I was completely different then. I sniffed, letting the tears soak my hot cheeks. I was almost levitating off the ground and almost punched myself in the face as I remembered Jake's words.

I'm leaving tomorrow.

He'll be gone in a few hours.

Could I let him go again if I just got him back?

I quickly wiped my face and turned around. I'm not gonna act like Jake. I won't let us be separated this time.

* * *

Jake's POV

I woke up and automatically knew something was wrong. The first one was the fact that I woke up fully rested. I haven't felt it in about six years. Why did I sleep so long?

Because you were with her, you idiot. And finally you felt safe.

Still without opening my eyes, I reached my hand over to the other side of the bed. It was cold. Empty.

Nothing has so refreshed me in a long time and woke me up immediately. I sat up, staring at the empty room. It was nothing new. I was used to solitude and silence. However, the silence had not been as overwhelming as this morning for a long time.

So she left.

I had no right to judge her. After all, I was the one who left her without explanation for two years. Despite this, I felt a terrible emptiness because I didn't have time to talk to her without anger. Without screaming. We parted without saying goodbye again.

I had no idea how long I sat in one place staring at the wall. The ringing of the phone snapped me out of my trance. I furrowed my eyebrows but picked up immediately.

– Hello Lily. – I greeted, and my voice was automatically transformed by one of the changers

– Is MC still with you? – she asked in a shaky voice that sent a shiver down my spine. – Please tell me she's with you.

– She's not here. – I swallowed and my palms began to sweat – What's going on, Lilly?

– There's no contact with her. I wanted to apologize, but she didn't answer which is not like her. I asked others to try too, but that didn't work either.

In the background, I could hear the muffled voices of Jessica, Dan and Hannah. But I was paralyzed with fear. The terrifying, relentless fear of losing the only person I cared about.

I don't know when I hung up, but the phone fell from my trembling hands. Her handbag, which she had forgotten to take, caught my attention. I opened it immediately, looking for something that would allow me to create a plan. I've always had one, haven't I? I never lost my common sense and cool calculation of evidence. However, inside I found only her wallet and a scarf.

A scarf that still smelled like her and her cherry perfume.

Another Love

Chapter 5: Hotel

Previous <-

warnings: argument, sex scene

Silence.

Tense silence reigned between us when the black-haired hacker hastily locked the door of room number 9. My attention was immediately caught by the desk with the boy's laptop on it. I didn't even try to understand the stamps and other numbers dancing on the screen. It could be hacking government data or counting down to the atomic bomb. I wouldn't even be surprised if it turned out to be the latter. Nothing was obvious with this man.

Jake took the mask off his face and sat down on the small couch, inviting me to sit with him. I shook my head and leaned against the wall. After another few seconds of silence as the hacker hung his head, I cleared my throat and he immediately looked up at me. I looked at him meaningfully, and Jake swallowed.

– What would you like to know?

I looked at him in surprise and of course a little anger. Is he fucking joking?

– I don't know, maybe I need an explanation? – I asked throwing up my hands – How come I was at your funeral two years ago and now you're sitting across from me like nothing happened?

– When I was in that mine and found out the FBI was already here, I knew it wasn't good. – he looked at me seriously with his blue eyes – However, I found a completely unknown exit that had not yet been patrolled. I had little time to come up with a plan. Then I came up with the idea of faking my death. I asked Lilly for help and she stubbornly agreed.

– But why didn't I know about it? – I asked, feeling my hands begin to tremble

– I figured it would be best for both of us.

That sentence made my heart completely take over my mind.

– I trusted you. With everything. – I started, feeling my voice shaking with anger – I blindly believed you, and you dare say that you knew what was best for me?!

– I dit it because I had to, not because I ever wanted to. – with these words he got up from the couch and very slowly started to approach me – I knew you well enough that I was aware that if you knew that I was alive, you would look for me. And the worst part is, I'd let you catch me.

– You could have explained it all to me! Fuck, did you even think for one second what I was going through!?

– You think it was easy for me?! Every day I wondered what would have happened if everything had gone differently. You corrupted every inch of my life, mind and sleep. But I did it so that you could get over it and go back to a normal, safe life.

We were both almost panting from the emotions we had held for so long. I felt the first tear fall from my eye, which I quickly wiped away. I hated showing weakness, especially in front of people I cared about.

– And I'm not a little child! I knew what I was getting into when I was contacting you. How could you be such a dick and decide for me?! – the words spilled out of my mouth mindlessly, but now I didn't care if they hurt him or not. – It was always like this. You made the decisions, and I dutifully obeyed. But this time was fucking different! You disappear, and I wonder what would have happened if I had gone to the mine. It wasn't about finding your sister, it was about your damn life! Do you know what it's like to blame yourself for the death of someone important to you?! You're a fucking coward, you know Jake?! Because now you're blaming it on my safety instead of admitting you're fucking selfish! And why do you come back here after two years and act like nothing happened? If you wanted to erase yourself from my life, you should do it permanently!

– I wasn't planning to meet you. – he cut me off in a calm tone again, and he was so close that I had to look up to meet his eyes. – I was here to meet Lilly. I'm still wanted, so I was supposed to leave tomorrow.

I looked at him with reddened eyes, not believing what I was hearing. I didn't know what hurt more, the earlier words or the fact that I wasn't important enough to him anymore that he didn't want me to know he was okay?

– Lilly planned it all. I didn't know there would be anyone else in that house but her. I didn't know you'd be there. – he continued stabbing daggers into my heart – And when I saw you, everything fell apart. I didn't know anything anymore. When I saw you ran away, I wanted to run after you and explain everything. But Dan stopped me. He told me to fuck off, and that's what I wanted to do. I was already sitting on the motorcycle, but why couldn't I start it? I couldn't, because I was bound to you by some strange, invisible thread. – he fell into some word flow through which I pressed my hand to the head, trying not to listen to him – You see what you're doing to me? I don't even know how to explain it.

– If you keep talking, I have no idea what I'll do to you. – I interrupted him and hot tears ran down my cheeks – Stop it.

– I just can't erase my feelings. Believe me, I have tried. – he did not stop, continuing the subject of feelings, and his blue eyes were so full of them that it hurt – I can't forget about you.

– What's your goal, huh? – I glared at him angrily, his vision blurred by tears. In a fury, I started pounding on his arms. – Why are you telling me all this? You weren't here!

– Take out all of your anger on me. – He cut me off suddenly and I gave him a dull look. He stared so deeply into my eyes that I shivered. – I see that's what you want. Do it.

His words gave me a momentary shock. For a moment I didn't know how to react, but finally I felt a new fire in my lungs that spurred me to action. It was too late anyway. Emotions and unspoken words flooded my body.

– You have no fucking idea how much I hate you. – I started and I could already feel the tears streaming down my cheeks down my neck and cleavage and disappearing under the dress I was wearing. – I hate you so much, Jake. – I punched him hard in the face and he let me. His head turned the other way from the force I put into the punch, but it didn't matter to me. It felt good to finally let out those suppressing and suffocating feelings. – Most of all I want to forget you, but now all that's left is hatred. And you know what's the worst, Jake? I don't mean that you faked your death and I didn't know about it. I hate you because you weren't there when I needed you the most. I didn't have anyone here and I thought I lost you too!

Another sharp blow, which he also took. As if he accepted his punishment with humility. I continued to hurt him with my words until finally when I was about to hit him again he firmly grabbed my hand stopping me from hitting him. He locked eyes with me and they were so angry and full of tears and emotion. He wiped the tears from my face with his other hand, then cupped my cheek. And he completely cut me off.

His lips pressed to mine. Surged to mine. Covered them. Hard.

He kissed me lustfully and hard, making me dizzy. Christ, he was so hungry for me. And I was for him, even though I was still trying to analyze what the fuck was going on.

Jake was kissing me.

Kissing me.

He let go of my hand, moving his other hand to my face as well. He kissed me like there was no tomorrow, like I was dream or imaginary. He took my breath away, and I didn't owe him. I tangled my fingers in his hair and Jake pinned me against the wall. My nimble fingers began to strip him of his clothes, and he tried to unbutton my dress. I don't remember how we ended up in the bedroom, on the hotel bed and the only clothes left on my body were panties.

For that moment, I felt like I was in another reality and as if our separation didn't exist or didn't matter. I slowly and tastefully brushed those wonderful lips with mine, digging my nails into the nape of the boy's neck. But not so gently, he turned me to face the sheets and pressed my head firmly against it.

– Bend over and spread your legs. – he demanded throatily, slapping my ass and choking my moan – Please.

I rested my hands on the sheets, obediently obeying his command, additionally melting under the influence of his unearthly voice, which I could listen to all day.

He firmly grabbed the fabric of my lace red panties and slid them down my legs, leaving me completely naked.

– Is it okay? – he whispered over my ear, pressing my naked ass to his crotch, his hand circling my clit creating unimaginable pleasure.

I replied with a short mumble, wanting this more than anything in my entire life. He massaged me with his fingers and moaned with me as I writhed like a helpless animal beneath him. But I wanted something more. I wanted to feel all of him.

– Fuck me, Jake. – I mumbled

I clutched the scraps of white sheet in my hands, uttering loud curses as I felt his cock at the very entrance.

He covered my mouth with his hand, placing his finger between my lips, which I immediately sucked. Before entering me deeply, he brushed my wetness several times with his head all the way down my clitoris. The tension between us built, our moans merging as he moved faster and faster inside me.

– Fuck. – he swore racily, his fingers tightening on the top of my head, which was still pressed against the mattress

– Harder. – I gasped as I felt another punch to my ass. He pulled my hair into a ponytail and pulled my head back, biting my earlobe.

– Could he make you feel as good as I do? –he asked, but I couldn't form a meaningful sentence at the time. His thrusts were brutal and ruthless. Like he was pouring out all his anger and stress from the whole fucked up situation. I suspected he was talking about Phil, though I had no idea how he knew that. He responded to my loud and pitiful moans with a soft, hoarse laugh – You're mine.

He growled the last words into my ear, then let go of my head again and pressed my neck against the bed. I was a mess, ready to do anything to keep the pleasure going. I was sure that the marks of his strong hands on my hips and ass will stay with me for a long time.

Not long after, he changed position and this time he spun me around, hovering over me, wiping his sweaty forehead with his forearm in the process. He kissed me ferociously on the lips, and I deepened the kiss, wishing the man would never leave again.

He lifted one of my legs, caressed it tenderly and placed gentle kisses on it, then placed it on his shoulder and again enterned me deeply. We were panting at the same time, and Jake additionally grabbed my wrists and placed them above my head.

It was hard for me to focus on anything, because of the overwhelming pleasure I couldn't stick a sentence together. I knew one thing - I had never experienced such emotions before, even though I was not inexperienced. I've had sex with a few people who did it damn well, but tonight was different. Today I connected with a man for whom I had deep feelings without even seeing his face or hearing his voice. Now, after more than two years of longing, I could see him. Kiss him. Touch him.

– Jake! – I cried as he pressed his other hand to my throat. Our eyes met each other. Warm brown with cold, analytical blue. Jake looked like a fallen angel. His black, disheveled hair, lips swollen from our kisses and deep gaze staring straight at me, which completely consumed me, made my lower abdomen tighten more and more.

I was incredibly close to orgasm, which the boy must have felt, because I felt his long fingers on my clitoris, which after a while he began to massage. I could barely bear it. I arched and rolled my eyes in lust as I heard his loud, heavenly moans of pleasure close to my ear.

After a short while orgasm completely took over my body. I clamped down on his dick, coming with his name leaving my mouth. I tugged hard on the ends of his black hair, tilting my neck back.

I barely opened my eyes, and in that very moment, I reveled in the warmth spreading inside of me. Jake let out a hard moan, stopping his lips to my exposed neck, which he began to bite. He stopped moving, but didn't pull his dick out of me for a while.

After a few moments, he left my body and lay down, dragging me with him. I didn't protest. He pulled me into his chest and I cuddled up to him as tight as I could. I breathed in his scent, enjoying the simple human closeness. After all, I didn't know if I wasn't dreaming. As I was on the verge of sleep, I heard his hoarse whisper.

– I missed you.

i want to write some fanfic, i have scenes in my head all the time, but i lack motivation😫

I don't know if you realize how much I appreciate your support and comments, they truly make my day. Never forget how wonderful and beautiful you are, I love you all❤️

In The Stars

author's note: i missed writing one shots (you also know that i love writing sad stories) hope you like it!

She couldn't tell fact from fiction anymore.

She hadn't slept through the night in so long because thoughts of him haunted her constantly. Every attempt to nap ended the same way. With her eyes closed, she saw the hundreds of messages she exchanged with him. From the worst ones, where both lacked hope, but their presence gave them strenght, to the sweet ones, where they forgot about the world around them. Where the group, the Hannah search or the government didn't matter. Where they were just two people who were blindly in love with each other. Where in these small moments they could breathe a sigh of relief and find their own definition of peace.

She was reliving them all. And she regretted so much that those moments were so few. That she didn't get to know him fully. That they did not experience what other lovers in great romantic novels did.

Despite the passage of time, she could not come to terms with it, much less erase it from her memory. Then it was all about him. Every thought, every dream or whisper in her head. She never expected his departure to be so painful. The hole that was still bleeding in her heart was making her breathing more shaky than normal. Every day she fell apart, only to put herself back together again in the evening. However, after the nightmares that haunted her at night, the morning came when she had to face the world again, pretending that she was still alive, even though she couldn't live anymore.

Every day she tried to forget everything. Get rid of every memory left of him. But she felt him all the time. And she was sure that she will always feel him.

A few months later she was sitting on the edge of the roof, her legs hanging loosely and the cool night wind chilling her body. The night was absolutely beautiful. A full moon and thousands of stars illuminated her face. With a sigh, she reached into the pocket of her black sweatshirt to pull out the box of pills she put away each day. She poured some into her palm and swallowed them without sipping. She closed her eyes, blowing steam from her mouth due to the low temperature. She tried to let herself feel the blissful state she usually felt after the drugs that somehow allowed her to fight another day.

– Bad day?

Hearing a soft voice behind her, she immediately opened her eyes and turned her head.

He was standing there. In the darkness of the night she couldn't see his face, but the silhouette of the hacker made her feel a longed-for peace. A pleasant warmth spread inside her, as if someone had poured hot water on her frozen body.

– You are here. – she whispered in a trembling voice – You're here again.

She watched as he started walking towards her, nodding his head in response. He sat down next to her. His face was still blurred as if pixelated, but she could recognize his blue eyes, which were always calm, harmonious, and warm. So much warmth that could have lulled her to sleep. They felt so real that once again she was sure it was really him.

– You know these meetings of ours are... – He paused and scratched the back of his neck, searching for the right word. – Alarming.

She smiled. However, the smile did not last long, because after a few moments tears stung under her eyelids and she was not going to stop them. Not here and not with him.

– You can't keep doing this.

– I'm trying to quit it, all the time, but it's just too hard. – she looked down at her lap and he took her hand

But she felt nothing but coldness and lasting emptiness.

Then she burst into even more sobs that shook her whole body. She choked on it, as she had that night when she found out about the mine explosion.

– Please don't cry. – he said softly as his other hand caressed her cheek where he was wiping away the tears – It's okay.

– No, it's not. – she croaked – Tell me what I can do to make you stay? What can I do so you won't leave?

He looked straight into her eyes, still gently holding her cheek, on which he was drawing patterns unknown to her with his thumb.

– You can't do anything because you know perfectly well that I'm not..

– Please don't say that – she whimpered, looking pleadingly into his eyes

She didn't want to hear it because each time it felt like the hole in her heart was growing even bigger.

– I'm not here, MC.

The words vanished into the air with the gust of wind. MC squeezed her eyes shut as more hot tears ran down her face. She hated those moments. She hated them because even though she knew he was right, she still couldn't accept it.

She opened her eyes and the seat next to her was empty. He hadn't been there for long, endless months. He never showed up. It was only an illusion and an image of her riddled psyche, which she could not part with. It was the last thing left of him.

It's been five whole months. She knew that tomorrow would be another day when no one would notice that something was wrong. And she would come back here again to feel his presence for a while. In the middle of the night, where only the stars will witness their meeting. She knew it was bad for her. But she couldn't muster the courage to say goodbye.

More than anything in the world, she wished Jake would still haunt her.

"I don't wanna say goodbye, 'cause this one means forever

And now you're in the stars and six-feet's never felt so far

Here I am alone between the heavens and the embers"