Thank You For Your Response! :D

Thank you for your response! :D

So, right off the bat, I'll say that we're one of those systems that just... Happened, one day. To be honest, the exact mechanics of how that worked is still quite unclear to us, but I feel it's only fair to share it! So, for 19 years it was just one of us, the OG if you will. So I figured she'd explain it from her point of view.

-- (warning: this got quite longer than I intended it to)

1. So, there are a few things that make me believe that we don't have a dissociative disorder. For one, I never experienced any identity confusion in the slightest before I became a system. Like, zilch. There weren't any times when my interests/behavior suddenly changed, and I didn't experience any dissociative episodes either to my knowledge. We also don't experience any amnesia between each other, so that's that too.

Does it mean that I *definitely don't* have a dissociative disorder? No, but so far, I haven't seen any reason to believe that I do. I am open to the possibility though, just in case.

2. I mean, it's hard to say. There are some obvious differences between traumagenic and non-traumagenic systems, like amnesia barriers, communication difficulties, dissociation episodes, uncontrollable switches, and many other things that aren't as common in endogenic spaces.

However, at the same time, I've seen many different folks relate to the experiences of systems from many different origins. Some DID/OSDD systems found really helpful advice in the willogenic community (specifically the Tulpa community, though we personally don't

use the tulpa language), for example, which would be really odd if the experiences

were fundamentally, completely different in every way. Some even realized that they were systems in the first place because of those communities!

I've also seen people describe experiences that I immediately related to despite not sharing the same system origin. If I were to see the same things being talked about when I was still a singlet, however, I don’t think I’d be able to “get it” in the same way. There’s also the possibility that it’s describing something completely different and I’m simply mistaken, though.

3. We're a created system, so yes, I do consider us fully plural. Now, how does the whole thing work brain-wise? At this moment, I have no idea. We really just hope that more research will be done.

4. Well, for one, we don’t experience dissociative amnesia, in the sense that we don’t lose time. I think we may be experiencing some barriers when it comes to emotion, though. For example, when one fronting headmate was in a very bad mood and another switched in, the mood completely disappeared, which surprised us a little. There’s also the body crying or smiling because one headmate near the front was either sad or amused, while the fronting person wasn’t experiencing the same emotions.

Our switches are generally controllable with both parties agreeing to switch with each other, though there was at least one instance when one of us tried to switch and fight for front (nothing serious at all, but worth noting since it was the first time that this had happened). We experience blurriness/identity confusion at times now too, when you’re supposed to be switched in but just don’t fully feel like yourself? Like, your vibe feels off, for lack of a better description. Your voice feels too high or too low and you act in a different way and you just feel like something’s off. There are also times when we wake up as somebody else and we’re like “??? Why am I here, what”.

We can have somebody move the body while another one is fronting, which is sometimes called “possession” in some endo spaces. Basically, you’re A, for example, but headmate B is moving your body and you’re just kind of looking. You can take control back if need to, but still. It sometimes is a little trippy, so we only do it if both parties are comfortable with it.

We didn’t know the term for it before, but our switches feel similar to how some people describe non-possessive switches  - basically, it feels like an identity change. Your mannerisms may change, how high your voice is may change, how you think and feel about the world may change, your music taste may change, but it feels like there’s this one consciousness that changes identity. For this reason, we cannot just experience the headspace while somebody else is fronting like we assumed we’d be able to - there’s only one “experiencer” at a time. It’s just a matter of who “the experiencer” is.

We usually can talk to each other - it feels like an inner monologue, except it doesn’t come from you but somebody else. There were times when we just couldn’t reach somebody and were freaked out by it, though. We also don’t hear the talking 24/7 - you usually need to prompt somebody to “wake up” a little for them to respond if they haven’t been active for a bit. With DID/OSDD systems, sudden thought intrusions from another headmate seem to be more common? However, don’t quote us on that.

This already got pretty long, so sorry for that ^^’

Thank you for reading all of that, and for answering our questions! Feel free to ask us something else if you want to or if you’d like us to clarify some things.

hey y'all! this is my dedicated syscourse blog, because I felt like syscourse was taking up too much space on my main.

i am the host of a traumagenic system of 6. our collective name is the Storm System, but the one running this blog is Ray. our alters range in terms of opinions, but we all lean towards anti endo (some, like me, more so than others).

I'm the most opinionated on syscourse and the most common fronter, so I'll probably be the main one posting. I wouldn't be surprised if Grey hopped in sometimes, though, too.

endos and antis alike are welcome to share opinions or debate me. I can't promise I'll agree/not argue, but the reason I bother with syscourse is to learn about other experiences and perspectives, so I will listen and try to understand if nothing else.

I have a tendency to be very strongly opinionated (sometimes to a fault), so if I seriously cross a boundary or am being unnecessarily rude, please do let me know. that being said, though, there is a difference between being actively cruel and expressing a controversial opinion, so while I will do my best to be respectful, I won't soften my opinions for that sake.

tl;dr: discussion/debate welcome, just don't be a total dick and I'll try my best to do the same :P

Anyone who reblogs this post will have their user written on a poster saying "We Stand With Palestine" that I hope to put up somewhere in the village I live in, or the town that the village is next to.

Hello! I saw your post and I guess I just thought it was cool that you wanted to talk with others, even if you disagreed with them! :] So, I guess I should start off by saying I'm someone in an endogenic system, but I won't try to convice you that we experience what we do. Just wanted to ask out of curiosity, if anything!

Do you think that those who claim to be endogenic systems are actually DID/OSDD systems in denial? Or that they are just making it all up? Or something else?

What were/are some things that endogenic systems mention experiencing that you can't relate with at all?

What kind of evidence would you need to entertain the possibility of systems forming without trauma? I mean like MRI stuff, DSM acknowledging them, other?

Do you like coffee or tea? We personally like tea with honey and mint though coffee puts us to sleep, lol.

Feel free to answer any questions that you're comfortable with answering! Hope you have a good evening! :]

hey y'all! this is my dedicated syscourse blog, because I felt like syscourse was taking up too much space on my main.

i am the host of a traumagenic system of 6. our collective name is the Storm System, but the one running this blog is Ray. our alters range in terms of opinions, but we all lean towards anti endo (some, like me, more so than others).

I'm the most opinionated on syscourse and the most common fronter, so I'll probably be the main one posting. I wouldn't be surprised if Grey hopped in sometimes, though, too.

endos and antis alike are welcome to share opinions or debate me. I can't promise I'll agree/not argue, but the reason I bother with syscourse is to learn about other experiences and perspectives, so I will listen and try to understand if nothing else.

I have a tendency to be very strongly opinionated (sometimes to a fault), so if I seriously cross a boundary or am being unnecessarily rude, please do let me know. that being said, though, there is a difference between being actively cruel and expressing a controversial opinion, so while I will do my best to be respectful, I won't soften my opinions for that sake.

tl;dr: discussion/debate welcome, just don't be a total dick and I'll try my best to do the same :P

My sister’s surgery and why I am opening commissions!

Hi there! I have decided to access this platform to try and find a solution to my sister’s current situation… It has been too long at this point and I really do not know what else to do… so here goes nothing!

First of all… hi! My name is Paula, or mmad-lover as you may know me here. I am a student and freelancer from Costa rica, and I currently live with my younger sister. Her name is Camila.

My sister loves dancing, she is quite good at it and has been doing it almost daily for quite some time now. One day, many months ago, she snapped her anterior cruciate ligament (which is essentially the most important knee ligament) while practicing a choreography, and she has been living in pain ever since.

Some doctors suggested physical therapy and exercise to try to nurse her knee back to health, yet deeper tests showed that she requires a reconstructive surgery to fix her injury, since the ligament that snapped is the only one that cannot regenerate on its own. According to medical professionals, if she does not get this surgery, with time she will most likely lose her ability to walk normally, since her leg won't be able to sustain her weight properly, and she won’t be able to dance again, which is what she loves to do the most in life.

We are two young adults living in Costa Rica (my sister just turned 20) and the amount required for the surgery is too big for us, since we also fend for ourselves in every other economical aspect related to studies and housing, as well as other living conditions. There is no one else that can help us, our small family is dysfunctional as well as economically unstable, so I have resorted to posting what happened here, in hopes of finding any sort of help possible.

My commissions are currently open, and I am very open to drawing any prompts and requests that you may have. If this is something that might interest you feel free to message me!

Here you can find a drive folder with two of my sister’s documents that serve as proof for both her current condition and for the expenses of the surgery:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/14PLVqEe4E1GWB8oy_NCH2jOAq2D_YnW0?usp=drive_link

Both documents are in Spanish, since the operation will take place here, in Costa Rica.

I will also leave my Ko-Fi link here, in case you would like to request any commissions or send any donations through there. I sincerely thank you for anything you can do to contribute to this, whether it is a commission, a small coffee donation, or just mere messages of support. The idea of being able to help my sister continue with her life means everything to me. Thank you so much for your time, we truly appreciate it!

Ko-fi

Buy mmad-lover a Coffee. ko-fi.com/mmad_lover

Become a supporter of mmad-lover today! ❤️ Ko-fi lets you support the creators you love with no fees on donations.

It looks so beautiful!!!

stylization practice

why does my caladium act like she is starving for light. hang on