We've Been Helped By Learning Of Different Types Of Switches In The Traumagenic/disordered Community.

We've been helped by learning of different types of switches in the traumagenic/disordered community.

In the endogenic communities that we were in (more specifically, the parogenic/tulpamancy ones), the guides on switching almost always went like this: "you detach from your body, and you let your headmate control it while you stand there in the background. Over time, you'll be able to impose yourself into the headspace while detaching yourself from outside stimuli".

Well... This never happened. For us, at least. What *did* happen when we followed the guide was this: one of us would "detach" from the body, while another would "attach". Sure, so far so good, but the consciousness didn't follow the previous fronter. Instead, it stayed with the new, current one. We switched non-possessively. Only then, we didn't know that it was a thing.

Everybody described their switches as "taking a nap" or "just watching as my headmate lives their life" and we were so jealous of that. Sure, we could *possess* the body (where you basically feel your headmate move your body without your input as you're fronting) but never quite switch *properly*. And it hurt.

Our brain is weird in the sense that headmate creation is very quick if we put our mind to it. Sure, a headmate being more defined and independent will take time, but we would communicate with each other pretty much from day one. In the community, the creation process can sometimes take months with some people. So, we figured that we didn't do this *properly* and only "tricked" ourselves somehow. We figured we weren't *as real* as those systems *who can* switch the right way. After all, we didn't take that long to develop, so maybe we weren't developed at all and it's just us "roleplaying"? We have a somewhat vivid imagination, after all.

It was during a time where we first came out to our Original's friend that I looked more into it. My one other headmate felt pretty distinct while fronting, while I didn't.

There's this term called "autopilot" in our communities where you suddenly start acting as your most prevalent fronter, in an uncharacteristic way to how you usually act, while you're standing there, confused. Mind you, you still have control over yourself and your body but it's a little weird. You know how you're acting is "out of character" for you but you still do it. It usually happens in some unexpected or nervous situations. Well, I had trouble using my own pronouns and saying my name and, in general, the "autopilot" didn't help. It felt pretty violating, and confusing too. I thought "what if I'm not real? What if I'm just the OG, faking all of this? Just roleplaying?".

"Well, when doubts come, just go look at traumagenic spaces, and see how the unquestionably *real* systems experience things" - that was my thinking process, anyway. Traumagenic systems are recognized as real by the medical community, and they experience things that can't be faked, like amnesia, for example. So, doing this was my go-to. They were the ones that *couldn't* be fake, while I could be.

And there, looking through the DID and OSDD subreddits, I found it - non-possesive switching. We weren't alone - others, even traumagenic systems - experienced the same thing. Heck, apparently it's the most common form of switching?? Why haven't we heard of it, anywhere??

Man, this was so validating and relieving. And I know that my thinking may have been a little wrong - after all, all systems are valid, and putting traumagenic systems in my mind on a pedestal like this wasn't the good way of looking at these things. But, in that moment, I'm glad that I found the words for my experience - especially from systems who weren't the same as me in terms of origin; systems, who weren't even in my communities, and therefore experienced these things independently.

So, yeah! This is my story of how reddit, of all things, made us feel more valid as an endogenic system, lol. I think, in general, that our communities have a lot of things to share with each other, so I'm glad that plural spaces exist. Hope this wasn't a drag to read. Peace! ✌🏻

Hello sysconversation! I'm a massive fan of this tag being coined, I think there's a lot of room for some really great discussion here, so I'm gonna try to kickstart a conversation myself!

I'm a traumagenic DID system. I experience a lot of denial. But you know what really really helps me? The existence of endo systems. No I'm not kidding.

Because I can say oh I must be faking this disorder. It must not be real. But I also believe that intentional systems are 100% real and that they exist, so... even if I don't have DID, I'm still creating my system right now. I'm real. My parts are real. No matter what disorders we do or don't have.

If you're traumagenic you ever been helped in some way by endo systems and/or their resources? If you're endogenic, have you ever been helped in some ways by traumagenic systems and/or their resources? We talk all the time about how we're different, I think it'd be great to have a chat about how we can be alike and how the intersection of our communities can help each other!

Original comic by Rasenth

A comic about growing up

Czytaj dalej

was playing undertale battle mode and this bug was very in character

Oh, a nice representation of a created, endogenic headmate! It's hard to run into those ones in the wild! Let's look at the comments! :D

"True identity disorder the two identities are almost never able to speak to each other. The idea it's her "friend" is so far from reality."

"Obviously this woman being able to create an alter as an adult without any known childhood trauma is false so they decided to spin an episode off DID again that possibly hurt the community with making others seem as though they are fake thanks to this."

… Right 😕