Regret

Regret

When we take a good hard look at ourselves as pain seeps into our veins from a broken heart we seek a comfort that only time can bring. However at that very moment all we want is the ability to reach into the very core of our mind and press some proverbial backspace button. There is this inability to live on with the memory that we had made such a horrible mistake. As wave after wave of agony shatters our heart we can't help but think "this is somehow my fault. I gave in. How could I be so stupid?" It's humiliating and embarrassing that in retrospect we did not have the foresight to see that giving our everything to one person is not only a risk for ourselves but a huge responsibility for someone who may not be able to carry such a burden.  It's hard to admit we've made such a regrettable decision therefore we tend try and erase the memory but when something has shaken you to the very core it is impossible to forget. Therefore we live with the memory and allow ourselves to stop our world only to dwell on the ache and distress as those who truly care watch on and hope for our well being. Why is it that those who have hurt us in our past stay in our minds forever but those who love us in the present are easily forgotten? There is no magical solution which will allow us to forget which is in itself a good thing. We can take that pain, that regret and turn it into a lesson. The only way to forget the time we allowed someone to come in and break us down is to recognize those who continue to comfort us as they help us back on our feet.

A beautiful moment's existence is wasted when it's not witnessed. So rather than waiting for the perfect moment to come along go out and find it, be a part of it - live in it.

n

mybiggestregretever:

My biggest regret ever is picking the wrong college.

[Male, 21]

Picking the Wrong College

No matter how big the fingerprint, you touch the lives of those around you and it's your decision whether that print is part of a masterpiece or a crime scene.

n

Day 1 - Love

To me it is something I've felt only for my family. To those around me it's a "can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series"  kind of experience. It's what Shakespeare was obsessed with and the muse of worldly musicians from all walks of life. But to witness the fruits of their labour, be it a song, a movie, a book or a poem love is still a foreign concept in itself. It's as though this concept exists in a television show and I'm the only one in the audience while everyone in my life is an actor, whether they have a starring or supporting role. Either way everyone else is part of the story but myself. All I could do is watch and try to take from the show some aspect of love without really having an internal understanding. It's a definition built up by other experiences with no input of my own.

I know love as in that familial love where you would go to the ends of the earth to lay yourself on the line for your family but that's because they've been there from the beginning. They've provided me with all the aspects of who I am. I can't even begin to imagine how I would be in that situation with another human being who just enters my life at a certain point in time. I can't understand the notion of falling fast for someone; it's an intoxicating notion. But it strikes curiosity in me nonetheless.

The shy ones have something worth hiding. Either that, or they are deathly allergic to being seen by anyone, and sometimes even themselves in the mirror. Some people aren’t just cut out for spotlights and attention, even though many dread it and at the same time desire it. The shell we thrive in is just so tightened it doesn’t need to be broken, though some who are in it wish it was destroyed completely. And as confusing and contradicting as that was, being looked at is something sick in of itself. To be stared at, for whatever reason and to be analyzed, for whatever intentions. If you think about it, we are sparing ourselves manic thoughts and preparation by being shy. It’s not exactly what we all want, especially if you know someone who is terrifyingly shy, but it’s something we just do. For whatever reason, we don’t like to be watched by a couple of idiots who don’t know when to leave us alone, and when we need them most.

Sami Ayele (via quote-book)