278 posts
Hoonven - Tumblr Blog
thanks for the tag @loserlvrss!! this was definitely not scarily accurate! (I fell to my knees)
like a child loves the rain
you need to be loved in happiness and foolishness. a puppy love, a love so purely good, so full of happiness it makes your stomach ache. you need to be loved in a way that reminds you of the childhood you didn’t get to have. you need to be loved as if you’re feeling the rain fall upon your cheeks for the first time. refreshing, and clean.
tagging: anyone who wants to participate!
your ult bias + how you need to be loved
like the snow melts
you need to be loved patiently. you need to feel the love slowly creeping in, a warning, a way to back away if you’re too scared. you need to be loved cautiously, as if you’re fragile. you need to be loved gently, because love is messy and muddy and makes your socks wet and hurts if the sun gets too close. but you need to let yourself be loved, because when you do, it’ll feel like spring.
regretful to say this is quite accurate cz like. it's impossible to find someone who is patient enough to love me like this :>
anyways thanku for the tagggg @eoieopda !! im tagging @weird-bookworm @slytherinshua @arafilez @blue-jisungs @wheeboo @rubywonu @jjunhui @planetkiimchi @gyuswhore @chwedout @haecien and any moots ive missed ++ anyone else who wants to do this <3
thanks for the tag @loserlvrss! this was so much fun i love doing picrew games!! <3
tagging: anyone who wants to participate!
Tag challenge: Do this cute picrew and post the last meme in your camera roll, then tag at least three people. Have fun! :D
no pressure tags: @keegansshark @glossysoap @blacktacmopsi @milkteaarttime
@gunnrblze @kuneho141 @howtotwirlaknife22 @rookiesbookies
@step-on-me-khun @imafraidoftomorrow @staytrueblue @mikichko
@simonrillleyyysss @aoioozora @writingfromasgard @pear1escence
@neiptune
thanks for the tag @loserlvrss! sorry this took me such a long time college is kicking my ass <3
tagging: anyone who wants to participate!
tagged by @tamburins <3
my response is under the cut cus im doing this on laptop
tagging @flurrys-creativity @potatomountain @arafilez @moccahobi
thanks for the tag @loserlvrss! <3
tagging: @heesuncore @yeonzzzn @pprodsuga @karinasbaby @jaeyunluvr
Challenging you all!
Put your music library on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for which one they like the most!
Then tag Tumblr friends to keep the game going!
Your writing will always feel awkward to you, because you wrote it.
Your plot twists will always feel predictable, because you created them.
Your stories will always feel a bit boring to you, because you read them a million times.
They won't feel like that for your reader.
this was so fun and cute tysm @heesuncore for tagging me! <3
tagging: @loserlvrss @jaeyunluvr @karinasbaby
Pic Crew Fun😘 @moni-logues thank you for tagging me, love a dress up romp.
Link Here
I’ll tag @katieraven @lilsunflower95 @lovemepie67 @kiestrokes bc I think I recall you guys doing these at least a few times…and obviously anyone who wants to do it 💜
thanks for the tag @loserlvrss! <3
egg: boiled to a runny yolk so I can add them in my ramen
steak: cooked? (I don't understand the levels of steak help)
milk: horchata (yes it counts as milk idc)
alcohol: don't have experience with alcohol yet
warm drink: champurrado
❀࿐ ⁺ . get 2 know your fav blogs!
tysm @loserlvrss for the tag this was so fun! <3
nationality: american
birth month: june
fav movie/series: fav movie is probably coraline or alice in wonderland and fav series is percy jackson and the olympians
fav song: 0X1=lovesong (i know i love you) by txt
fandom: engene, moa, nctzen, atiny, carat, deobi, army, my, bunnies, dive
fav idol: fav female idol is wonyoung and fav male idol is vernon
tagging: anyone who wants to participate! :)
❀࿐ ⁺ . get 2 know your fav blogs!
nationality: chindo + lao/thai
birth month: january
fav movie/series: my demon 🥰
current fav song: siren by ateez
fandoms: atiny, carat, briize, zerose, dive, onedoor, moa, nctzen, engene, fearnot, the b, ennve, zenith, once, army
fav idol: xu minghao
my tags:
@yuzchaes @gigittamic @aericita @iluvrei @wonjuii
@y-unrei @i-kyujin @y-vna @jicito @jaewsss
@chuwerii @bambicito @hyelita @chaeneuu @tripleseu
@jimzittos @rkkuri @seulzitos @i-mmaculatus @im4yeons
@daddldee @wiotas @m00nbap @kisrui @7hyein
thanks for the tag @loserlvrss! <3
h — hundred broken hearts by enhypen
o — ocean eyes by billie eillish
o — once more to see you mitski
n — nobody by mitski
v — vamp anthem by playboi carti
e — espresso by sabrina carpenter
n — naked in manhattan by chappell roan
tagging: @heesuncore @jaeyunluvr
url song game!
thanks for the tag @shyday-ao3 this one looks really fun!
rules: go to your playlist and find a song for each letter of your URL, then tag some friends to do the same
this is when i curse myself for having so many similar letters in my url but here goes!
A: animals (maroon v) G: ghost town (benson boone) I: i ran (so far away) (hidden citizens) R: radioactive (imagine dragons) L: ludens (bring me the horizon) A: achilles come down (gang of youths) N: not afraid anymore (halsey) D: dead man (david kushner) H: hell of a good time (haiden henderson) E: empire now (hozier) R: romeo & juliet (hidden citizens) Q: (this one's really hard, i've got nothing) U: us. (gracie abrams) I: in the woods somewhere (hozier) L: like that (bea miller) L: let's kill tonight (panic! at the disco)
~ ~ ~
tag list time! open tag as always too!
@the-ellia-west @willtheweaver @tildeathiwillwrite @drchenquill @365runesofthesystem
@coffin-hopping @godsmostfuckedupgoblin @a-mimsy-borogove @frostedlemonwriter @i-do-anything-but-write
@r-u-living @thatuselesshuman @lead-to-code @sunflowerrosy @theaistired
@phoenixradiant @autism-purgatory @corinneglass @tiredpapergirl @patheticexcuseforawriter
@missmisanthrope @littlestchildofthemoon @morganxduinn @thebrownleathernotebook @rmhashauthor
@lamuradex @fantasy-things-and-such @glasshouses-and-stones @hattonthehatman @humbly-a-doppelganger
@ramwritblr @s-pendragon7 @thelastneuron @heartreactor @ihauntmyhouse
@shiningstars-world @scaewolf @just-emis-blog @joeys-piano @ramitola
@yrndrgn @riveriafalll @lawrencespen1777 @theverumproject @zackprincebooks
@justjariel @orion-lacroix @jupiter---daydreams @vinniehorrible @stars-forever
@thewritingautisticat @whatwewrotepodcast @anaisbebe @appleandsnow @urnumber1star
@chaotictravelerrants @andagii-projects @dragmewithyoutonirvana @a-bi-cat-with-books @fearofahumanplanet
@just-a-domesticated-cryptid @attemptingwriter @kitkins13 @ray-writes-n-shit
@theonewholivesinthemovies @rheas-chaos-motivation @bookwormclover
tysm @heesuncore i love doing these!! <3
tagging: @loserlvrss @minhosimthings
𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑢𝑙𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒: 𝑔𝑜 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡, 𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑐ℎ "𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒 + 𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑒," 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑖𝑥 𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑔 𝑠𝑖𝑥 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒.
@dwaekkicidal tagged me so let’s goo lol ily pookie😘
This checks out pretty good ngl lol 😂
Tagging: @miss-daisy04 @number1jeonginstan @bluejutdae @gnabnahcsworld @doitforbangchan @jeonginsleftcheek @yongbun @valkyriexo
As always don’t gotta 🩵
໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১ send these hearts 💗💖💞💕💓 to your favourite blogs to remind them how much you love and appreciate them! જ⁀➴
well i love and appreciate you more! 🫵😤
thanks for the tag @loserlvrss! this was so much fun!! <3
FISH QUIZZZZ!!! FISH QUIZZZ!!!! TAKE IT!!! special request from my friend avery shoutout avery <3 it's right up my alley anyways... im so jellyfish coded !!
quiz made: june 2024
the international court of justice declared israel's occupation in palestine as unlawful 🙂↕️
Urgent appeal, please support🙏🍉
Donate, donate and participate to perform a bone graft operation in my hand💪, please
This is the donation link.
Thank you, artist Haruka, for your support and backing us up.
Don't pass by without contributing by donating, reblogging and sharing.🙏🍉
@90-ghost @el-shab-hussein @ibtisams @acepumpkinpatrick @just-browsing1222 @gaza @palestine @13ag21k @the-bastard-king @boyvandal-blog @apsswan @youdontknowwhotfiamm @mangocheesecakes @fallahifag @sealuai @palipunk @malcriaada @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @acepumpkinpatrick @nabulsi @fairuzfan
thanks for the tag @loserlvrss here’s a little snippet on what i’ve been working on for you twin ;)
Instead of saying something beautifully poetic like he always imagined he would if he met the hypothetical love of his life, he says, “Rough night, huh?”
It was obvious he wasn't skilled in the art of speaking to women, especially ones outside his family tree.
last line tag! thanks so much for the tag @ghostlyboysstories even if it does mean i've gotta spoil my next fic huhuh.. /lh
as they walked through the park, san reached down and took wooyoung’s hand in his, their fingers intertwining naturally. wooyoung looked up at him, a surprised but happy expression on his face.
“what?” san asked with a playful grin. “just felt like holding your hand.”
wooyoung chuckled, squeezing san’s hand lightly. “i don’t mind.”
— this is actually going to be a full story instead of a one shot too.. who knows if this will even be in the finished draft of the chapter hjhdbbc. it's going to be called we can't be friends... kinda angsty. will most definitely be an emotional roller coaster.
anywho ! i'll tag... hmm.. @starberryhwa and @loserlvrss ^ ^ i don't have many writer moots yet hushsdbc
I gеt money, I'm a star, star, star
Star, star, star, star
I get money, I'm a star, star, star
Star, star, star, star
お金 稼ぐ 俺らは スター
お金 稼ぐ 私は スター
スター、スター、スター、スター、キラキラ
私は スター
Mamushi by Megan Thee Stallion feat. Yuki Chiba
reblog w the song lyrics in your head NOW. either stuck in yr head or what yr listening to
𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚ my recommendations!! pt1 (bcz u can only mention 50 ppl)
𓉸๋ྀི࣭ ⭑ enhypen
⋆ lee heeseung
a stoners guide to starbucks (completed) - @jayflrt
smau, lee heeseung x fem!reader, fluff, strangers to lovers
⋆ park jongseong
⋆ sim jaeyun
⋆ park sunghoon
spring snow - @leaderwonim
park sunghoon x fem!reader, angst, fluff, exes to lovers + strangers to lovers
seven royalties - @srjlvr
park sunghoon x fem!reader, angst, fluff, childhood friends to enemies to lovers
how to not survive highschool - @srjlvr
rugby player+rival!sunghoon x rival-fem!reader, angst, fluff, childhood enemies to fake dating to lovers
double birthday - @srjlvr
fluff
a love story - @srjlvr
kindergarten volunteer!sunghoon x kindergarten volunteer!femreader, fluff
wait for me at the bus station!! - @srjlvr
highschool student!sunghoon x highschool student!gnreader, fluff
mr. spark - @junnylunny
sunghoon x gn!reader, fluff, blind date to lovers
“studying” - @wintabite
sunghoon x gn!reader, fluff
only - @pshcomforts
idol!sunghoon x fem!reader, slight angst, fluff
super sad songs! (completed) - @kynrki
smau, idol!sunghoon x idol!fem!reader, angst, fluff, one sided enemies to lovers
⋆ kim sunoo
seven royalties - @srjlvr
kim sunoo x fem!reader, fluff, angst, strangers to lovers
rumor - @srjlvr
class prez!sunoo x new student!gnreader, fluff, best friends to lovers
⋆ yang jungwon
do they have to come? - @luvrseung
boyfriend!jungwon x fem!reader, fluff
rich in the heart: yang jungwon - @woniedarlin
jungwon x rich girl!reader
seven royalties - @srjlvr
yang jungwon x fem!reader, fluff, angst, childhood friends to lovers
invisible string theory - @soobnny
yang jungwon x fem!reader, fluff, acquaintances to lovers
a sister’s shadow - @woniedarlin
jungwon x fem!reader, angst, fluff
flipped - @woniedarlin
jungwon x fem!readers, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers
pretty when you cry - @haechanniessgirl
yang jungwon x fem!reader, fluff, angst, friends to lovers
𐙚 pt 2
come back i still need you - @leaderwon
nonidol!jungwon x fem!reader, angst
love struck cause of you - @haknom
stuco-pres!jungwon x gn!reader
double shot espresso - @bywons
ex bf!jungwon x fem!reader, fluff, exes to lovers
pretty girl, you’re like peaches - @jungkit
jungwon x fem!reader fluff
homecoming - @jungkit
jungwon x fem!reader, fluff
ddr (complete) - @jungkit
smau, dance-rival!jungwon x fem!reader, fluff, rivals to lovers
the one that got away..then came back - @jungkit
jungwon x fem!reader, slight angst, fluff, childhood friends to lovers
hearts on fire - @jungkit
prince!jungwon x princess!reader, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers
theory of love - @hoonven
jungwon x reader, fluff
not my type ft riki - @cupidriki
jungwon x fem!reader, angst, friends to strangers
⋆ nishimura riki
how stupid - @luvrseung
schoolmate!riki x fem!reader, fluff, angst
just us, and your brother - @tyunni
smau, brothersbsf!riki x fem!reader, fluff, kinda strangers to lovers
that day will never come, though, and he knows it - @luvrseung
childhoodbsf!riki x fem!reader, angst
ni-ki’s guide to survive: how getting lost led to love - @gyuuberryy
enemy!ni-ki x fem!reader, fluff, angst, enemies to lovers
babysitting with a stranger - @srjlvr
babysitter!riki x babysitter!gnreader, fluff, strangers to friends
out of sight, never out of mind - @mygnolia
nishimura riki x fem!reader, angst, a little fluff
the perfect moment - @won4ver
idol!bf!riki x fem!reader, slight angst, fluff
paper hearts! nsh.r - @rikstar
highschool student!riki x fem!reader, fluff, classmates to friends to lovers
[12:12pm] soft thoughts - @rikstar
childhood best friend!riki x fem!reader, fluff, childhood friends to??
you got me lookin’ for attention - @wintabite
best friend!riki x gn!reader, fluff, best friends to??
00:00 - @rikigai
idol!bf!riki x afab!reader, fluff
when i see you again - @stariikis
barista!riki x fem customer!reader, fluff, childhood friends to lovers
tell my fortune - @stariikis
waiter!riki x customer!reader, fluff, strangers to??
call me baby! - @won4kiss
boyfriend!riki x fem!reader, angst, fluff
summers with riki - @wintabite
nishimura riki x gn!reader, fluff
busy schedule - @sakinote
riki x fem!reader, angst, fluff, friends to lovers
im sorry baby - @sakinote
bf!riki x gn!reader (i cant tell), angst, fluff
not my type ft jungwon - @cupidriki
childhood bsf!riki x fem!reader, angst, friends to strangers
love and hate - @rkistars
riki x fem!reader, fluff, enemies to lovers
๋࣭ ⭑⚝ tomorrow x together
⋆ choi yeonjun
⋆ choi soobin
⋆ choi beomgyu
jerk! (ongoing) - @beom1e
series, choi beomgyu x fem!reader, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers
⋆ kang taehyun
⋆ huening kai
This is genuinely one of the most upsetting things I’ve seen from other writers on this platform, I’m not black or South East Asian therefore their apologies are not for me to accept however, I am Native American, and I understand the feeling of racial oppression all too well. People with this mindset are the biggest contributors to the hurt that people of color face every day, whether they are POC themselves or not, it is never okay to say things like this about anyone or any group of people. Race and ethnicity are not a joking matter! please, if you have any morals or compassion do not condone this behavior from anyone, even if they are your moot. Both of these individuals should be very ashamed of their actions and take the time to reflect on themselves. I have now unfollowed and blocked them. I'm deeply sorry to anyone who has been hurt by this.
i thought about whether i should make this post or not for a little bit, especially because the two parties involved apologized (even though it doesn't sound genuine at all to me, more of a "i'm apologizing just because someone said something")
haze is @pockettwinzz and emi is @emi-en, they both have me blocked
i'm just gonna share some screenshots and let people decide for themselves whether they accept the apologies or not, i'm including those too because i feel it's the right thing to do.
they obviously knew that what they were saying is not acceptable since haze kept making jokes about being "cancelled", emi's words speak for themselves i'm sure...
꒰ 𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊 ꒱ 심재윤
summary : you had hated jake since you were kids but, you weren't kids anymore were you?
genre : angst, slight fluff, jake x afab!reader, enemies to lovers, highschool!au, childhood-friends!au, non-idol!au, hurt-comfort tws : language, lowkey mean y/n (for a reason), use of the word hate a lot, alluded parental issues/trauma, lowkey depression author notes : wrote this for mimi & lina cuz y'all need to collect ur man from out of my brain please i beg word count : 2.3k
he was annoying. he annoyed you. he pushed your buttons so well it took everything within you to fight off an outburst. you hated him. no, you loathed him. he was the arch nemesis in your fantasy novel. the pebble in your shoe. the sand on wet feet. the warm side of your pillow. he was everything you knew you didn’t want in your life.
but, he wouldn’t leave you alone.
it had started years ago, back when you were just a little kid in elementary school and this shaggy haired boy was paired with you in hopscotch. you didn’t protest at the time, but oh should you have, because you weren’t aware of the can of worms it would open in your life — the container of sparkles you were still finding in undesirable places; by the name of jake sim.
it was bordering an obsession.
but, in reality, all he was obsessed with was your reaction; the way your face would flush when you heard his annoying voice; the way your body would tense under his annoying gaze; the way your blood boiled when his annoying laugh rang through the air; the way your fingers dug crescents into your palms when his stupidly-white teeth would show themselves for another classmate; the way your stomach would turn when he'd brush his stupidly-styled hair from his face. or bite his annoying lips. or crack his stupid knuckles. or stretch and reveal his stupid abs.
he made you so sick. so fucking nauseous that you couldn’t stand being around him for more than a few minutes at a time.
he was so egotistical. so cocky. so adored and admired by just about anything that breathed.
so why’d he choose to follow you around like a lost puppy? even after you had screamed and cried at him to leave you alone — all those years ago now — to go about his perfect fucking life and leave you to yours.
why’d he, of all people, have to bother you?
you tried so hard to ignore the everlasting presence behind you, and if you and jake didn’t happen to be neighbors you would’ve started sprinting. but, it was july and nobody really wants to run in the scorching heat. especially not you, and jake played soccer so it would've been no use trying anyways.
you had exited your house, preparing to walk to the gas station instead of deal with your parents outbursts about god knows what, when perched on the front lawn in front of you was none other than someone you really didn’t want to see either. and, for a moment you thought he was going to give up his annoying-you act as he didn’t trail you for a good couple of strides. but, that was short lived as you saw the man take off from his porch, causing you to grumble and cross your arms.
you kept your chin high, not acknowledging jake in hopes that it would steer him away; because he liked to get a rise from you. and, if you took that away, he wouldn’t have a reason to bother you. the plan was fool-proof in reality… well, at least it should’ve been.
jake kept following you, all the way into the drink isle of the gas station. he even went as far as grabbing your favorite and shoving it in the back pocket of your jeans — but you weren’t in the mood, and frankly you were far past angry; at ur parents, at the heat, at yourself.
but, not at jake and, for that you didn’t know why.
he was everything that annoyed you, but he was also the only thing that stayed consistent — and that was oddly comforting — because you knew that if only you looked around jake would be there in some form or not.
like the stars in the sky, the wind through air, the smell of sea water, and over exaggerated accents; jake was there, within them all. and, somewhere along the way it all stopped being the vain of your existence.
you weren't kids anymore, and the petty competition between you two had ceased some time ago, which only left room for something else to bloom; something far from those two kids on the hot asphalt.
you rolled your eyes at him, "why won't you just leave me alone?" he shrugged in response, going off to the isle with snacks, but you weren't hungry. sick, actually. so, so sick to your stomach at the very thought of actually thinking fondly of the one thing you're supposed to hate with all your will. you were convinced you were going to be buried with a rotting heart, but even the slightest twinge from his stupidly-pretty lips melted your ice-cold feelings.
you paid for the drink, no longer seeing the boy. a sigh (of relief?) left your lips when you exited the station. you scouted the place, only the scorchingly bright sun reflecting off peoples cars as they filled up. no sight of the man who trailed you here—
wait, why were you looking for him?
you told yourself it was to make sure you got away before he came out — you wanted a peaceful walk back with your drink, and thoughts, not a puppy-like man. but, you knew deep down you also craved the comfort he seemed to bring whenever he was around. and, maybe it was especially needed now but, you began to walk anyways, prepared to ignore him some more if need be.
it was better that way, that’s what you had to tell yourself. that’s what you’ve always told yourself.
it was better you stay away from everyone. you were content with yourself, weren't you?
that's what you were always programmed to believe, anyways.
"miss me that much, y/n?" it should've been dangerous how fast you spun on your heels. he smirked, "that's why you were looking, isn't it?"
you scoffed to his face, cracking open the drink in your hand and taking a long swig. "absolutely not." you leveled your head again, humphing and turning back around to begin walking.
you were always two peas in a pod, and petty respected petty.
it was like a game you two played without rules, no start, and definitely no end. it was the unspoken regular, no peace when you were in each others presence. if you weren't at each others throats then hell had to have frozen over, one of you died, or anything of the sort.
you wanted to tell him to stop following you but, whether you did or not, he still lived across the street. he had just as much a right to walk this street as you did. but, you were still annoyed.
and, on your shared (desired or not) walk, you couldn't help the emotions welling up within you. everything was just getting a little too much for you to keep bottled inside. first it was the migraine you woke up to after staying up half the night studying for a future you weren't even sure you wanted to have. then, it was the yelling between and by your parents; about what? you still weren't even sure. but one thing you were sure about was the tears that began to prick your eyes. you tried so hard to swallow them down with the drink, but even with your head tilted back, they fell. and, just like your game, they showed no sign of stopping.
you needed something, however you never knew what it was, just always slightly out of reach. you felt incomplete, hallow, empty. but, what made you worthy of being sad; you had everything.
it angered you. however, you were just like your parents, weren't you? never knowing how to express yourself healthily. they told you what was expected and you followed like it was a goddamn marionette show. your whole life was planned before you even spoke your first word; be top student. be well liked. be nice. be pretty. be in clubs. don't make friends. don't talk back. and, don't fucking cry.
you felt a gentle hand pull you back, and out of your thoughts. you blinked a couple of times, trying to de-blur the splotched scene.
you must've not realized how loudly you were crying, "are you okay?" jake asked. you'd never seen concern on him before — it was something you weren't sure you'd actually ever seen — and, you were supposed to hate it?
you weren't sure of that anymore either.
your brain wasn't working as his eyes met your tear-filled ones, but everything still boiled over like you were sat on the back burner.
"stop it!" you shouted at him, throwing your wrist from his hand, "stop fucking following me!" and suddenly you were back in middle school — the only other time he had seen you cry — screaming the same thing at him in the middle of the playground. "stop trying to be around me! i hate you! stop playing this stupid game! you're annoying, okay! i hate your stupid laugh, and stupid smile, and stupid hair, and stupid everything! stop liking me! you make me so fucking sick, jake! i can't stand you, okay? you win, for gods sake!"
his eyebrows creased, but he didn't back down from your words. actually, he got closer, and you swear your breath hitched. but, before he got a chance to reply to anything another wall went up, and you practically whispered, "...let's j-just stop, jake." through a broken voice; utterly defeated, "i'm tired."
tired of feeling like you had lost all control over yourself. tired of hating everything you're supposed to be grateful for. tired of being so goddamn tired and confused. tired of being angry and frustrated. tired of romanticizing the late night mock-exams and good grades. tired of being friendless. tired of being fake. tired of being molded into an emotionless vessel. tired of being the class president and always-too-busy girl. tired of being you. tired of being alone.
and, so tired of pretending to hate the one person who never let you get too far away from him.
"i-i'm okay, okay?" you sighed, wiping your cheeks with your forearm and hand, "i'm fine!" you mocked a smile, "just go home, jake."
maybe it was because, ever since the moment he was paired with you, you were never able to convince him of your perfect lifestyle. your plastic covered couches and white piquet fences. and, when he moved across the street it's like he could see through all your lies even better.
"are you really okay?" he asked, knowing you were only telling him an otherwise well-sold tale (to everyone else, at least).
you huffed angrily, "yes! so, just leave me alone now, okay? go back to your school friends, and soccer team, and loving parents, and brother. get out of my life, please — i hate you! i hate you so much — how many times do i have to tell you this?"
his voice was soft yet well-defined, "until you mean it."
his words echoed so painfully loud inside your head, taking you aback. he'd never spoken to you like that. he'd never said something other then teasing comments and pushes to get you to roll your eyes at him. he had never been more than the thorn in your back; the one side of your stuffed-up nose; the one question of a test you had to guess on; he was never more than someone who liked to pull pranks on you to get a rise. never more than jake sim: your relentless enemy.
so, why was your heart thumping with something more than anger and frustration?
you knew the answer deep down through your rising stomach bile. your nausea. you knew it was because he was everything you needed, and that's why he made you so sick.
you hated that he could see through you like a goddamn window. you hated how he wouldn't run away. you hated how he could watch you cry. you hated how he'd look at you. you hated how you didn't even want him to actually leave. you hated how you looked for him in the simplest things. you hated how he was consistency in an ever-evolving world. you hated how he was supposed to be the one thing you hated. you hated how you craved a stupid-smile from him. you hated how attractive his stupid-hair looked. you hated how you desired to hear his stupidly-tuneful laugher. you hated him and his extensive knowledge on you. you hated that you didn't even hate him — no, you actually loathed him so fucking much that somewhere along the way, you loved him.
you loved him so much, and that's why you hated him.
you hated that you couldn't have him. you hated that he was always the something that was just slightly out of reach. you hated that he knew you didn't hate him. you hated that he didn't even hate you for it. you wanted him to, and that's why you hated him first.
maybe, in reality you knew it wouldn't have hurt less either way, but it was the path you chose — had chosen for you — and turning back now wasn't something in your sights. you only had one option.
"i hate you."
his hands found your cheeks, forcing you to look into his stupidly-pretty eyes. you didn't even protest, knowing not-so-far past surface level that you wanted to give in. "well, i love you."
you wanted him to hold you. you wanted him to kiss your tears away. you wanted him to be the man you could run across the street to when things got tough. you wanted his comfort. you wanted him to tell you it would all be okay. you wanted to be his comrade, not his enemy. you wanted him to fix your broken heart and mind — stick you back together with glitter-glue. you, truthfully, wanted him as much as he wanted you.
and, that's what you hated the most; jake — the only silver lining in your life — sim. the man you're supposed hate, but love.
— perm tag list .ᐟ @icyminghao @dongminz @hoonven @jakeify | send an ask to be added c:
heads up! babysitting adventures. food mentions.
you're making dinner when you start to hear something go down. vernon's sitting on the floor with your niece, who's very determined to take advantage of the fact that it's both friday and her parents aren't here.
"if you let me stay up until midnight," she raises a finger in the air. "i'll show you where mama hides the fruit snacks."
vernon gives a long hum, as if he's actually debating the deal. for a moment, you think maybe you should have brought seungkwan instead of your boyfriend. he doesn't need to sound so legit right now. "i dunno... i have a car. i could just go buy my own fruit snacks."
"but they're forbidden snacks." she puffs out her lil cheeks at him. "papa says that makes them better when he gives me some after mama said i shouldn't have anymore."
vernon's nodding along. "ah. the forbidden snacks. i get it." he lowers his voice into a stage whisper, as if you're not supposed to hear this secret, "they steal my snacks all the time."
your niece lets out the loudest gasp, already turned against you so easily. "they do?!" when you glance over, she's straight up glaring at you, and vernon's giggling and he gets her to turn around before you 'catch on.'
"they do." he gives them the most serious nod. "but i dunno... are they really that good to stay up past your bedtime?" when your niece gives him a equally serious nod, lips pressed together into the most serious face she can muster, vernon just crosses his arms. "okay. new deal... you've gotta give them your best puppy dog eyes," he nods toward you, "so that we can all go out for ice cream instead. you still gotta go to bed at ten, though."
immediately, her mind is blown. she never considered the fact that ice cream could be on the table with you two here. while the two continue to whisper, making a game plan, you already reach for your phone to get her parents' permission to spoil her more than you already do. with both her and vernon teaming up... there's no real way you can say no.
a few moments later, you feel a tug on your shirt and you turn to see your niece next to you. she looks back at vernon, who's half-hidden behind the edge of the counters, as if he's going to get away with something. he gestures for her to speak, and she does when she turns to you. "can we pleaaaaaase get ice cream after dinner?" she pauses. "i'll--i'll eat my veggies and everything! and uncle vernon will, too!" she points back at him. "he promised!"
you glance at him while you agree (with permission and the power of puppy dog eyes, you have no ability to say no) and vernon's shooting you a cocky grin. told you i'd have your back.
husband!vernon, slow eater. i don't really know how to write vernon ngl. peep! come check out the others.
"sorry," as the words left your mouth, vernon's head snapped to your direction quickly. his expression morphed into something akin to bafflement.
"what for?" you looked down to your lap, where your lunchbox still remain with at least half of your food not yet touched. while vernon's (empty) lunchbox was carefully placed on the picnic mat, slightly further away from where the two of you were resting on.
"i just," you stopped your words as you took the extra time to swallow your saliva while thinking of how to properly phrase your words. "i eat very slowly, you finished your food while i still have so much to eat." picking at your fingers, you hesitantly looked back up at him.
"so? what's wrong with that?" he looked into your eyes, attempting to figure out what has gotten you so worked up about your speed in eating. it's difficult for him to understand what you feel when you don't get straight to the point. "tell me, what's on your mind?"
"i feel bad that you always wait for me because i eat slow," you tentatively spit out your thoughts, avoiding his eyes and choosing to look at the more (not really) interesting picnic mat you're sitting on.
"i don't really get what's the issue, i wait because i want to." he leans back onto his hands that were spread out behind him, "take your time, i get to watch you eat too. it makes me happy."
the way they are written do not represent how they actually are, everything is fictional.
