This Is Genuinely One Of The Most Upsetting Things Ive Seen From Other Writers On This Platform, Im Not

This is genuinely one of the most upsetting things I’ve seen from other writers on this platform, I’m not black or South East Asian therefore their apologies are not for me to accept however, I am Native American, and I understand the feeling of racial oppression all too well. People with this mindset are the biggest contributors to the hurt that people of color face every day, whether they are POC themselves or not, it is never okay to say things like this about anyone or any group of people. Race and ethnicity are not a joking matter! please, if you have any morals or compassion do not condone this behavior from anyone, even if they are your moot. Both of these individuals should be very ashamed of their actions and take the time to reflect on themselves. I have now unfollowed and blocked them. I'm deeply sorry to anyone who has been hurt by this.

i thought about whether i should make this post or not for a little bit, especially because the two parties involved apologized (even though it doesn't sound genuine at all to me, more of a "i'm apologizing just because someone said something")

haze is @pockettwinzz and emi is @emi-en, they both have me blocked

i'm just gonna share some screenshots and let people decide for themselves whether they accept the apologies or not, i'm including those too because i feel it's the right thing to do.

they obviously knew that what they were saying is not acceptable since haze kept making jokes about being "cancelled", emi's words speak for themselves i'm sure...

thanks for the tag @loserlvrss! <3

egg: boiled to a runny yolk so I can add them in my ramen

steak: cooked? (I don't understand the levels of steak help)

milk: horchata (yes it counts as milk idc)

alcohol: don't have experience with alcohol yet

warm drink: champurrado

this was so fun and cute tysm @heesuncore for tagging me! <3

tagging: @loserlvrss @jaeyunluvr @karinasbaby

Pic Crew Fun😘 @moni-logues thank you for tagging me, love a dress up romp.

Link Here

I’ll tag @katieraven @lilsunflower95 @lovemepie67 @kiestrokes bc I think I recall you guys doing these at least a few times…and obviously anyone who wants to do it 💜

꒰ 𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊 ꒱ 심재윤

summary : you had hated jake since you were kids but, you weren't kids anymore were you?

genre : angst, slight fluff, jake x afab!reader, enemies to lovers, highschool!au, childhood-friends!au, non-idol!au, hurt-comfort tws : language, lowkey mean y/n (for a reason), use of the word hate a lot, alluded parental issues/trauma, lowkey depression author notes : wrote this for mimi & lina cuz y'all need to collect ur man from out of my brain please i beg word count : 2.3k

he was annoying. he annoyed you. he pushed your buttons so well it took everything within you to fight off an outburst. you hated him. no, you loathed him. he was the arch nemesis in your fantasy novel. the pebble in your shoe. the sand on wet feet. the warm side of your pillow. he was everything you knew you didn’t want in your life.

but, he wouldn’t leave you alone.

it had started years ago, back when you were just a little kid in elementary school and this shaggy haired boy was paired with you in hopscotch. you didn’t protest at the time, but oh should you have, because you weren’t aware of the can of worms it would open in your life — the container of sparkles you were still finding in undesirable places; by the name of jake sim.

it was bordering an obsession.

but, in reality, all he was obsessed with was your reaction; the way your face would flush when you heard his annoying voice; the way your body would tense under his annoying gaze; the way your blood boiled when his annoying laugh rang through the air; the way your fingers dug crescents into your palms when his stupidly-white teeth would show themselves for another classmate; the way your stomach would turn when he'd brush his stupidly-styled hair from his face. or bite his annoying lips. or crack his stupid knuckles. or stretch and reveal his stupid abs.

he made you so sick. so fucking nauseous that you couldn’t stand being around him for more than a few minutes at a time.

he was so egotistical. so cocky. so adored and admired by just about anything that breathed.

so why’d he choose to follow you around like a lost puppy? even after you had screamed and cried at him to leave you alone — all those years ago now — to go about his perfect fucking life and leave you to yours.

why’d he, of all people, have to bother you?

you tried so hard to ignore the everlasting presence behind you, and if you and jake didn’t happen to be neighbors you would’ve started sprinting. but, it was july and nobody really wants to run in the scorching heat. especially not you, and jake played soccer so it would've been no use trying anyways.

you had exited your house, preparing to walk to the gas station instead of deal with your parents outbursts about god knows what, when perched on the front lawn in front of you was none other than someone you really didn’t want to see either. and, for a moment you thought he was going to give up his annoying-you act as he didn’t trail you for a good couple of strides. but, that was short lived as you saw the man take off from his porch, causing you to grumble and cross your arms.

you kept your chin high, not acknowledging jake in hopes that it would steer him away; because he liked to get a rise from you. and, if you took that away, he wouldn’t have a reason to bother you. the plan was fool-proof in reality… well, at least it should’ve been.

jake kept following you, all the way into the drink isle of the gas station. he even went as far as grabbing your favorite and shoving it in the back pocket of your jeans — but you weren’t in the mood, and frankly you were far past angry; at ur parents, at the heat, at yourself.

but, not at jake and, for that you didn’t know why.

he was everything that annoyed you, but he was also the only thing that stayed consistent — and that was oddly comforting — because you knew that if only you looked around jake would be there in some form or not.

like the stars in the sky, the wind through air, the smell of sea water, and over exaggerated accents; jake was there, within them all. and, somewhere along the way it all stopped being the vain of your existence.

you weren't kids anymore, and the petty competition between you two had ceased some time ago, which only left room for something else to bloom; something far from those two kids on the hot asphalt.

you rolled your eyes at him, "why won't you just leave me alone?" he shrugged in response, going off to the isle with snacks, but you weren't hungry. sick, actually. so, so sick to your stomach at the very thought of actually thinking fondly of the one thing you're supposed to hate with all your will. you were convinced you were going to be buried with a rotting heart, but even the slightest twinge from his stupidly-pretty lips melted your ice-cold feelings.

you paid for the drink, no longer seeing the boy. a sigh (of relief?) left your lips when you exited the station. you scouted the place, only the scorchingly bright sun reflecting off peoples cars as they filled up. no sight of the man who trailed you here—

wait, why were you looking for him?

you told yourself it was to make sure you got away before he came out — you wanted a peaceful walk back with your drink, and thoughts, not a puppy-like man. but, you knew deep down you also craved the comfort he seemed to bring whenever he was around. and, maybe it was especially needed now but, you began to walk anyways, prepared to ignore him some more if need be.

it was better that way, that’s what you had to tell yourself. that’s what you’ve always told yourself.

it was better you stay away from everyone. you were content with yourself, weren't you?

that's what you were always programmed to believe, anyways.

"miss me that much, y/n?" it should've been dangerous how fast you spun on your heels. he smirked, "that's why you were looking, isn't it?"

you scoffed to his face, cracking open the drink in your hand and taking a long swig. "absolutely not." you leveled your head again, humphing and turning back around to begin walking.

you were always two peas in a pod, and petty respected petty.

it was like a game you two played without rules, no start, and definitely no end. it was the unspoken regular, no peace when you were in each others presence. if you weren't at each others throats then hell had to have frozen over, one of you died, or anything of the sort.

you wanted to tell him to stop following you but, whether you did or not, he still lived across the street. he had just as much a right to walk this street as you did. but, you were still annoyed.

and, on your shared (desired or not) walk, you couldn't help the emotions welling up within you. everything was just getting a little too much for you to keep bottled inside. first it was the migraine you woke up to after staying up half the night studying for a future you weren't even sure you wanted to have. then, it was the yelling between and by your parents; about what? you still weren't even sure. but one thing you were sure about was the tears that began to prick your eyes. you tried so hard to swallow them down with the drink, but even with your head tilted back, they fell. and, just like your game, they showed no sign of stopping.

you needed something, however you never knew what it was, just always slightly out of reach. you felt incomplete, hallow, empty. but, what made you worthy of being sad; you had everything.

it angered you. however, you were just like your parents, weren't you? never knowing how to express yourself healthily. they told you what was expected and you followed like it was a goddamn marionette show. your whole life was planned before you even spoke your first word; be top student. be well liked. be nice. be pretty. be in clubs. don't make friends. don't talk back. and, don't fucking cry.

you felt a gentle hand pull you back, and out of your thoughts. you blinked a couple of times, trying to de-blur the splotched scene.

you must've not realized how loudly you were crying, "are you okay?" jake asked. you'd never seen concern on him before — it was something you weren't sure you'd actually ever seen — and, you were supposed to hate it?

you weren't sure of that anymore either.

your brain wasn't working as his eyes met your tear-filled ones, but everything still boiled over like you were sat on the back burner.

"stop it!" you shouted at him, throwing your wrist from his hand, "stop fucking following me!" and suddenly you were back in middle school — the only other time he had seen you cry — screaming the same thing at him in the middle of the playground. "stop trying to be around me! i hate you! stop playing this stupid game! you're annoying, okay! i hate your stupid laugh, and stupid smile, and stupid hair, and stupid everything! stop liking me! you make me so fucking sick, jake! i can't stand you, okay? you win, for gods sake!"

his eyebrows creased, but he didn't back down from your words. actually, he got closer, and you swear your breath hitched. but, before he got a chance to reply to anything another wall went up, and you practically whispered, "...let's j-just stop, jake." through a broken voice; utterly defeated, "i'm tired."

tired of feeling like you had lost all control over yourself. tired of hating everything you're supposed to be grateful for. tired of being so goddamn tired and confused. tired of being angry and frustrated. tired of romanticizing the late night mock-exams and good grades. tired of being friendless. tired of being fake. tired of being molded into an emotionless vessel. tired of being the class president and always-too-busy girl. tired of being you. tired of being alone.

and, so tired of pretending to hate the one person who never let you get too far away from him.

"i-i'm okay, okay?" you sighed, wiping your cheeks with your forearm and hand, "i'm fine!" you mocked a smile, "just go home, jake."

maybe it was because, ever since the moment he was paired with you, you were never able to convince him of your perfect lifestyle. your plastic covered couches and white piquet fences. and, when he moved across the street it's like he could see through all your lies even better.

"are you really okay?" he asked, knowing you were only telling him an otherwise well-sold tale (to everyone else, at least).

you huffed angrily, "yes! so, just leave me alone now, okay? go back to your school friends, and soccer team, and loving parents, and brother. get out of my life, please — i hate you! i hate you so much — how many times do i have to tell you this?"

his voice was soft yet well-defined, "until you mean it."

his words echoed so painfully loud inside your head, taking you aback. he'd never spoken to you like that. he'd never said something other then teasing comments and pushes to get you to roll your eyes at him. he had never been more than the thorn in your back; the one side of your stuffed-up nose; the one question of a test you had to guess on; he was never more than someone who liked to pull pranks on you to get a rise. never more than jake sim: your relentless enemy.

so, why was your heart thumping with something more than anger and frustration?

you knew the answer deep down through your rising stomach bile. your nausea. you knew it was because he was everything you needed, and that's why he made you so sick.

you hated that he could see through you like a goddamn window. you hated how he wouldn't run away. you hated how he could watch you cry. you hated how he'd look at you. you hated how you didn't even want him to actually leave. you hated how you looked for him in the simplest things. you hated how he was consistency in an ever-evolving world. you hated how he was supposed to be the one thing you hated. you hated how you craved a stupid-smile from him. you hated how attractive his stupid-hair looked. you hated how you desired to hear his stupidly-tuneful laugher. you hated him and his extensive knowledge on you. you hated that you didn't even hate him — no, you actually loathed him so fucking much that somewhere along the way, you loved him.

you loved him so much, and that's why you hated him.

you hated that you couldn't have him. you hated that he was always the something that was just slightly out of reach. you hated that he knew you didn't hate him. you hated that he didn't even hate you for it. you wanted him to, and that's why you hated him first.

maybe, in reality you knew it wouldn't have hurt less either way, but it was the path you chose — had chosen for you — and turning back now wasn't something in your sights. you only had one option.

"i hate you."

his hands found your cheeks, forcing you to look into his stupidly-pretty eyes. you didn't even protest, knowing not-so-far past surface level that you wanted to give in. "well, i love you."

you wanted him to hold you. you wanted him to kiss your tears away. you wanted him to be the man you could run across the street to when things got tough. you wanted his comfort. you wanted him to tell you it would all be okay. you wanted to be his comrade, not his enemy. you wanted him to fix your broken heart and mind — stick you back together with glitter-glue. you, truthfully, wanted him as much as he wanted you.

and, that's what you hated the most; jake — the only silver lining in your life — sim. the man you're supposed hate, but love.

— perm tag list .ᐟ @icyminghao @dongminz @hoonven @jakeify | send an ask to be added c:

thanks for the tag @loserlvrss! this was so much fun i love doing picrew games!! <3

tagging: anyone who wants to participate!

Tag challenge: Do this cute picrew and post the last meme in your camera roll, then tag at least three people. Have fun! :D

no pressure tags: @keegansshark @glossysoap @blacktacmopsi @milkteaarttime

@gunnrblze @kuneho141 @howtotwirlaknife22 @rookiesbookies

@step-on-me-khun @imafraidoftomorrow @staytrueblue @mikichko

@simonrillleyyysss @aoioozora @writingfromasgard @pear1escence

@neiptune

thanks for the tag @loserlvrss! <3

h — hundred broken hearts by enhypen

o — ocean eyes by billie eillish

o — once more to see you mitski

n — nobody by mitski

v — vamp anthem by playboi carti

e — espresso by sabrina carpenter

n — naked in manhattan by chappell roan

tagging: @heesuncore @jaeyunluvr

url song game!

thanks for the tag @shyday-ao3 this one looks really fun!

rules: go to your playlist and find a song for each letter of your URL, then tag some friends to do the same

this is when i curse myself for having so many similar letters in my url but here goes!

A: animals (maroon v) G: ghost town (benson boone) I: i ran (so far away) (hidden citizens) R: radioactive (imagine dragons) L: ludens (bring me the horizon) A: achilles come down (gang of youths) N: not afraid anymore (halsey) D: dead man (david kushner) H: hell of a good time (haiden henderson) E: empire now (hozier) R: romeo & juliet (hidden citizens) Q: (this one's really hard, i've got nothing) U: us. (gracie abrams) I: in the woods somewhere (hozier) L: like that (bea miller) L: let's kill tonight (panic! at the disco)

~ ~ ~

tag list time! open tag as always too!

@the-ellia-west @willtheweaver @tildeathiwillwrite @drchenquill @365runesofthesystem

@coffin-hopping @godsmostfuckedupgoblin @a-mimsy-borogove @frostedlemonwriter @i-do-anything-but-write

@r-u-living @thatuselesshuman @lead-to-code @sunflowerrosy @theaistired

@phoenixradiant @autism-purgatory @corinneglass @tiredpapergirl @patheticexcuseforawriter

@missmisanthrope @littlestchildofthemoon @morganxduinn @thebrownleathernotebook @rmhashauthor

@lamuradex @fantasy-things-and-such @glasshouses-and-stones @hattonthehatman @humbly-a-doppelganger

@ramwritblr @s-pendragon7 @thelastneuron @heartreactor @ihauntmyhouse

@shiningstars-world @scaewolf @just-emis-blog @joeys-piano @ramitola

@yrndrgn @riveriafalll @lawrencespen1777 @theverumproject @zackprincebooks

@justjariel @orion-lacroix @jupiter---daydreams @vinniehorrible @stars-forever

@thewritingautisticat @whatwewrotepodcast @anaisbebe @appleandsnow @urnumber1star

@chaotictravelerrants @andagii-projects @dragmewithyoutonirvana @a-bi-cat-with-books @fearofahumanplanet

@just-a-domesticated-cryptid @attemptingwriter @kitkins13 @ray-writes-n-shit

@theonewholivesinthemovies @rheas-chaos-motivation @bookwormclover