@captain-krow-drozdov

@captain-krow-drozdov

homie really out here covering the entire genre.

captain, thank you for your work. 🫡

the real reason howl kept his castle moving was tax evasion

hey hey hey hey hey

this is important

for research purposes

Not in my usual format but oh well

Danny only knew three things about Gotham, the dark and aptly named city he had accidentally showed up in after some inter dimensional shenanigans in the infinite realms. One, Gotham was practically overflowing with bad vibes and crime. Two, Batman was Gothams usual vigilante, the one who kept the bad vibes and crime at a reasonable level. Three, for about a week and a half, Batman had been MIA.

Now Danny didn’t know much about this Batman fella, hadn’t even seen him before, but he figured it was a heroes job to step forward and help the other with his city so it didn’t go crazy.

So Danny bought a domino mask for cheap from a souvenir booth, got some heavy duty pants and a dark and thick hoodie from a local thrift shop, grabbed his Creep-Stick and decided it looked enough like a baseball bat, and went out into the night to help his fellow vigilante. The petty criminals were horrified of the new vigilante with glowing green eyes and a bat to match, and the batfam (most of whom were holed up in the mansion trying to keep Bruce from working himself to death directly after a near-death experience) were a bit interested and a bit wary.

Finally, one of the Batkids hunts him down, asking him “Who are you?”

“Oh ancients! Does no one see the bat? I’m Batman! Duh!”

Phrases I bet were said on the batfamily patrols without context.

Tim in his comm: No. he's not dead- *casually checks Jason's pulse* yeah there's nothing to worry about.

--

Jason nudging a mugger with his feet: He'll live.

--

Dick: No one tells any of this to Batman

Batman, behind him: No one tells what to Batman

Dick:

--

Robin: You said Redhood should stop killing do I look like Redhood to you?

--

Jason: This * shows a pair off rubber bullets to the renchman * were not letal, now this * shows them a pair of real bullets* are.

*reloads*

Jason: Start running.

--

Dick at the comm: What do you mean next to the Batsburguer? I am literally-- Hood. Hood. Jason. sto- STOP SCREAMING AT ME- I am literally- SHUT UP! Jason- I swear to god, I will hang up on you... WE ARE LITERALLY IN FRONT OF THE BATSBURGUER,... What do you mean "what car" what do you think? We're... We're next to - sorry - Next to the old lady behind the drive thru... fuck sake You know what? Just send us your location- Just- Yeah...

Damian, looking at his phone with the location:..... Dumbass you're in the wrong Batsburguer.

--

The signal, making eye contact with the other batkids: I do not know them.

--

Damian Robin: What are you doing in here?

Tim in his civil clothes: Are you serious? This is literally my rooftop. I live in this house.

--

Literally everyone to Oracle: Do NOT call Batman

--

Oracle: I'm calling batman.

--

Batman, clearly lost, lying through his teeth while gripping the batmobile's steering wheel: This is my city, we do not need a map.

--

Jason: Oh my god, you two are such drama queens the kid just dislocated his arm. Hey. Hey Robin. Do that thing you did last time- He's going to be okay. Robin do that thing.

Dick: D-Robin do not-

Batman, at the same time: Robin do not

Damian currently running towards a wall to relocate his arm: *crack.* There. Let's go.

--

Steph: Technically he ran in front of my van so if we're being fair-

--

Robin squinting: ...Is that Harley Quinn in a Batman suit?

--

Harley: This is so unfair! Why he always send the interns to fight me!

Robin Damian, done with her shit: Maybe because you fight like a little boy

--

Spoiler: Yo mama

--

Nightwing: Let's do the flying Robin-

Robin Jason: What do you mean flying Robin? *Nightwing grabs him* WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. NIGHTWING- NIGHTWING YOU MOTHERF-

Nightwing: YEET

--

Redhood:

Nighwing: What?

Redhood: Let's do the flying Robin.

Nighwing: ⁿᵒ⁻

--