Once I Forgot What A Coupling Was And Googled "female To Female Nipples" At Work

Once I forgot what a coupling was and Googled "female to female nipples" at work

my dad knows what yuri is because at a museum he used to work at he was trying to organize some event about Yuri Gagarin and im still not over the mental image of my 50 year old father sitting down at his computer at work and googling "yuri images" fully expecting to see black and white photos of the russian cosmonaut and just seeing anime girls kissing instead

MWAHAHAHAHA! My machinations finally bear fruit! With this final sacrifice, I have wrought upon thee a lesson you won't soon forget!

Alright pal, one more wisecrack out of you and I'm covering the land in eternal night

"As soon as we die, we enter into fiction. Just ask two different family members to tell you about someone recently gone, and you will see what I mean. Once we can no longer speak for ourselves, we are interpreted."

— Hilary Mantel, from Reith Lectures, Resurrection: The Art and Craft

Guess I'll put it on my blog too

its really cool that we discovered glass which is the material that doesnt have any chemical reactions with anything in the universe very useful for doing chemistry due to being able to put things in it to contain chemical reactions and never having it react with the things that are in it due to it being completely and entirely unreactive to every chemical

I should probably post this here:

The Life Alignment Chart

What is "alive" to you? What counts as alive?

Going top to bottom, then left to right, we have:

A PERSON: everyone generally agrees that people are alive. This category is for all animals, plants, all the easy stuff.

CORAL: is a creature as simple as coral alive? It's in the kingdom of life, but it's really at the edge of what we consider "sentient". It doesn't think, it acts on instructions ingrained into its DNA, but that's basically what people do too but just more complicated.

VIRUSES: a virus is still made of biological material, but it's not DNA-based like everything else is. It's basically a snippet of code. It can't reproduce itself, it needs to highjack other cells to do so.

Moving on to the second column, we now have creatures no longer made from biotic material.

ANDROID: if we build a machine which is sufficiently advanced such that it can simulate the intelligence of a brain, and put it into a human-mimicking robot body, would it be alive? Unless you look under the hood you couldn't tell it wasn't another human. The only thing separating it from humanity is the fact it's made from metal.

SELF-REPLICATING DRONE ARMY: if someone built an army of drones which is capable of mining, refining, and machining new drones to add to the army, would it be alive? As a collective? Assume that it can respond to stimulus, like building kill-bots to fight enemies and improving on the design of its drones if it finds the right materials.

FIRE: people often describe fire like it's alive. It can grow, die, eat, breathe, starve, suffocate, and spawn new fires. If a virus can be alive, why not fire?

Finally, the last column, beings which exist only in the minds of people and have no physical form

GOD: Assuming the Christian God exists, would he be considered alive? He can certainly think complex thoughts, and since he's omnipotent he could self-replicate if he wanted to. The only caveat is I'm not sure he has any physical form. This category also includes voices in people's heads and imaginary friends, who are able to live and think autonomously by essentially sharing the brain of the person they live in.

A NATION: a nation can be thought of as an animal, with all its citizens as its cells. It can think, eat, produce products, get sick, and make new nations (if parts of it split away like mitosis). This category includes all groups of people which operate as collectives.

A STORY: a story is like a parasite living in the minds of the people who know the story. It spreads by being told. It can mutate to adapt to its environment. It can die if people forget about it. This category includes all art.

i had some cat jokes laying around so i thought they deserved a cat, and also i stole some garfield jokes, you may have thought these were just silly comics but they are in fact my very own modern AU fanfic with deep lore and continuity so i hope you're taking notes