Heart Out.

—heart out.

when your long-term boyfriend left you for someone else, not only were you left to deal with a broken heart, but also with the discouragement of never finding true love in your life.

after all, you were completely unaware of the fact that your best friend’s little brother fell head over heels for you the moment he first saw you six years ago, and he’d be damned not to show you, firstly, that he was no longer the teenage boy your mind made him up to be, and, secondly, that he would be the man to step up and love you right.

◇ pairing: hwang hyunjin x female!reader

◇ genre: social media au, non-idol au, best friend’s brother au, friends (kinda) to lovers, one-sided pining, fluff, angst, humor, eventual smut

◇ warnings: age gap (only three years, y/n being older), not all members of skz are featured although those who aren’t might make an appearance later on (i have trouble handling seven side characters, i’m sorry), y/n is portrayed by cho miyeon, swearing, mentions of heartbreak and toxic relationship (not the main couple), mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, mature content in general, eventual written parts, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

◇ status: ongoing

◇ tag list: open. i only ask for reblogs and/or feedback in exchange, please. if you do want to be added, send me an ask! otherwise i might miss your comment under the posts.

◇ author’s note: helloo! pretty much two weeks have gone by since i got this idea and i’m still very excited about it and have it all planned out (minus some minor details lol), so i figured out why not just post the masterlist for now. idk how many parts it’ll have, i would like it to be on the shorter side (like 20-ish parts) but then again it’s me we’re talking about and i tend to get carried away hehe. so anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this story as much as i’m enjoying coming up with it! there won’t be a set update schedule for it, but so far the introductions should be up sometime soon next week<3

00. profiles

01. make it romantic

02. karma diem

03. murder mood

04. sugar rush (written)

05. wanna be yours

Rewrite the ending

-Just once, let him rewrite the story; Just once, he promises you will never have to watch the same ending again.

Paring◦ felix x mommy issues!reader

Genre ◦ smut with pain

Warnings ◦ The reader is described as having mommy issues though the argument is very brief so it can connect with more people, angst, talk about knives, PIV sex, CONSENT, ngl this is just some passionate lovemaking, tears during sex, references to the princess bride the greatest love story of all time I will die on this hill,

Taglist ◦ @thetoastghost222, @ur-fav-lvr, @velvetmoonlght

A/N ◦ This is literally a story solely based on an experience I just had with my mother and needed something to comfort me while I have a mental breakdown 😃 also if you liked this man I have mommy issues I severely need reassurance 😭

can somebody please tell me if this is convoluted because I tried to make it poetic but I don't know if I just made it messy. THANK YOU.

Soundtrack ◦ Family Line by Conan Grey, Cover me by Stray Kids

~cookiecreates 🍪

The screen flickers off.

The velvet curtains close.

The world fades to black.

The End

Your ribs crack open, heavy sobs echoing through the gaps of your unfolded bones. Your hands make purchase around your shredded soul, the warm liquid of your sorrows trickling through your splayed fingers like the shadow's phantom finger tracing the lines of your melancholy, dusting over the hill of your cheeks. 

One more time.

Just one more time.

You rewind the tape-

The velvet curtains stutter open.

The screen flashes white.

Just one more time.

How many times could you watch the same movie before you realized the ending would never change?

You rewind the tape-

How many times could you lick her love off the edge of a knife before you realize the blade will never dull?

You slide the tip across your tongue-

Just one more time.

Please.

Just pretend to love me one more time.

"For once, can you admit that you're wrong?" you snap, attempting to steady your rising voice. 

You've been arguing with your mother for centuries, your breath grating across your throat like grains of sharpened sand. Talking to her was like bouncing wisdom off a wall; it will only ever come to bite you in the ass-

"I did what I had to do to teach you discipline; you were unruly-"

or punch you in the face.

"I was nine!" you shout, a weak and wounded cry. "Nine!"

How could she not see that?

"I did it because I loved you."

She rips your heart out of your chest, only to dust a gentle finger underneath the curve of your jaw; her sweet smile coaxes your lips open; she was your mother, and yet, with a wicked gaze, she draws her fingers together—you choke, a thick river of blood flows onto your tongue like a bitter stream of a thousand broken promises.

There was so much you wanted to say to her.

"Maybe you should reevaluate your definition of love."

"Maybe you should have just been a better daughter."

"Only she could spread sugar across your skin before feeding your soul to the ants."

The signal of an ended call rings through your ears as the world fades to black.

The velvet curtains close.

The screen flickers off.

The movie sputters to a stop.

The End

All you wanted to hear was I'm sorry.

All you have ever wanted to hear was I'm sorry.

You are far too entranced with the stillness of your spine to hear the door creak open, Felix’s hesitant footsteps carefully creep closer. It is only when he mumbles a soft, saturnine "sweetheart" that you finally feel something-

"How did it go?" Felix believed the strings of your souls were so intertwined, the two of you experienced emotions the way an instrument feels the thrum of a cord; but as your heart pumps with an intangible amount of anguish, maybe even for you, some feelings were simply too subjective to share.

It is only when your heart has been crushed by fingers made of feathers do you start caring a lot less about the hands made of knives.

How desperately he wishes he was a human with hinges, where he may unscrew his soul and allow your eyes to gaze upon his walls, with the knowledge that they were only ever painted with the thought of you.

He would not hurt you-

Please, collapse into him, just once-

Let him prove that you will never have to fall again-

Wordlessly, thoughtlessly, your hand chases his touch, a million different uncompleted sentences dissipating as soon as your skin connects; your fingers beg, hold me, even as your mouth shutters shut, dusty rivulets cascading across your cheeks like the desert's silky sand.

You were empty.

so, so, very empty-

Felix's soothing hands lock underneath the bend of your knees, pulling you into his warm embrace with a rush of unregistered movements.

You rewind the tape.

Just one more time.

You needed to be reminded of what it was like to not constantly live with the echo of a hollow soul.

Just one more time.

You needed to be reminded of what it was like to hear something other than a deafening crescendo of pure contempt.

Just one more time.

"Please," you have lived so much of your life caught in a perpetual state of emptiness, for once, you wanted to remember what your body was like before your mother bore you with the heavy burden of broken wings.

"Touch me," you shove the palm of his hand into your core, pleading with so much of your soul none left to protest. He gasps into your mouth, his face scrawled with worry, the etch of a million different fears drawn into the deep lines of his forehead.

Just once

Let him rewind the film

Just once

You will never have to watch the same ending again.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Though his words are unsure, his actions tell a different story; tender hands massage the length of your thighs, reluctantly begging you to open up, to unfold your deformed ribs, where he will fill your hollow bones with the type of love you have only ever yearned for.

Just once.

"I need you."

You need him more than you need your heart to beat, your lungs to breathe; you need him more than you need the birds, the bees, the ground, the trees—

He lays you upon the silken sheets with such soulful kindness that your glassy eyes almost break; his heart thrums with the promise of I love you and the vow of I'll make you fly. His hand dips into the band of your shorts, pleasure peeking out from the shadows of your mind, only ever bobbing its head long enough to fill your skin with a minute tingling sensation—like running your hands under hot water after a long day in the snow, but it was not enough.

"I need you," you gasp into his mouth, his throat desperately sucking the sound in. His eyes widen ever so slightly, his features stricken with a sudden tightness, a burdened tonnage; you were handing him your heart with the hope his hands weren't made of blades, and the idea of the utter trust you have put in him to do that makes his stomach flip.

Just once—

He will prove it all to you.

"As you wish," nostalgia flutters in your veins as you reminisce the sentence pulled straight from the greatest love story ever told. His nose nudges the column of your throat as he presses a peck on your flesh, drifting his arms down to unceremoniously pull off his pants.

Even with such a simple act, he makes the effort to remind you that he is here.

He takes his time removing your clothes, fingers sliding across your skin with a delicate intimacy, a tender reverence; his lips trace the lines of your seams until your very atoms are etched with his name.

I hate her

I love you

I love you

I love you

He coupled every leak of anger with a river of love, kissing your limbs until all your body could remember was the pureness of his ardor.

"Are you ready?" he whispers against your skin, lining himself with your entrance, all he needs is a word to finally sink himself in. Your eyes are glassy, gazing up at him with such an unadulterated passion, a pure amount of pain—this will tear you apart, and he promises with every fiber of his being, he will put you back together.

"Yes." You have lived most of your life with the heavy burden of a body’s broken wings, and it isn't until Felix’s crafted hands finally crease your ribs that you realize origami can only emerge when you fold it up, the way a bird can only fly when it falls.

You are an amalgamation; so much of your soul is lost in his lips you don't know where he begins and you end, but when a rush of pleasure tingles up your spine, you don't care.

The world is tangled somewhere on the edge of in-between space and time, melding together into a mushy, gushy substance that slips through your fingers as they lace in his raven locks. You pour all your pain into the slit of his lips, where he sucks in every drop, leaving no room for your protests.

You were both overcome with a flood of delicate feelings—the passion that surged with the twists of your heartbeats began to be too much to bear; as his hips ruthlessly rut into yours, you cry out, chasing the edge of a daydream. So close, so close, so—his lips taste like I love you and his tears like I'm here. You can only hear the crash of your soul shattering before his ginger fingers sew you back together.

The juxtaposition of that orgasm was astounding.

You both slam down into the earth at the same time, holding each other's tired bodies as the ground swallows you up.

His arms lock around your head, quivering as he struggles to hold himself up, droplets of tears land on your cheeks as they dip down the slope of his nose. He was so perfect-

so, so, very perfect.

Your mouth raises to kiss a tear clinging to the tip of his nose. He chokes, squeezing his eyes shut. You both are thrumming with tension, overflowing with emotion; before you can even blink, he is pulling you to his chest, naked and sticky, he holds you closer than you have ever been.

It is through the tears of others that we remember we are alive.

Just one more time.

Rewind the tape and let him kiss your shattering soul with the knowledge that has already rewritten the ending.

Just once-

Collapse into him.

Let him prove that this story really is—

The End  

©CookieCreates (posted: August, 12th 2024) All rights reserved. Do not translate, copy, or claim my works as yours! I only post on this platform so if any of my works are elsewhere, report and notify me immediately.

~cookiecreates 🍪

Hyunjin As Your Boyfriend

Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Han | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

Contains Smut🩷

Small note, hyunjin is really just- coming for me lately. So I needed this more than I knew lol

-🩵

•The hopeless romantic.

•He’s thinking of the best. Date ideas.

•They’re so thought out, so unique and cute-

•Takes you two to the beach for a beautiful picnic.

•Movie nights laying on your bed with a projected on the ceiling so y’all can cuddle.

•Plans cute painting dates.

•Speaking of paintings.

•Has so many doodles, drawings ext that are of you or things that make him think of you.

•Your first date? It’s a painting.

•That one picture he just melts seeing.

•It’s a cute little doodle he keeps in his phone case.

•Loves writings you little notes that you can put in your phone case.

•Loves telling others “that’s my partner”

•Gush’s about you a lot.

•Especially to the members.

•Which he always likes to tease you about them.

•”Ah- y/n why are you talking to innie? I’m right here? Your handsome boyfriend”

•And when you give any of them a hug.

•Mans whining “Right infront of me? How could you. We need to go home and change your clothes of his dirty touch”

•All in good teasing, makes you laugh, makes the members laugh.

•Sits and judges people with you.

•Like you don’t like someone?

•He’s picking up the same vibes but it’s plastered on his face.

•Random dance battles.

•Ending in you both on the floor laughing at each other.

•He’ll do the little “ew” thing to you when you ask for a kiss cause you pout and he just loves that.

•”Ew we can’t kiss! I have a partner”

•Likes to take you traveling with him especially to fashion shows.

•You’re always his plus one for anything.

•Tells you all the time “you should model you’re stunning”

•Ugh and this mans complimenting you so much.

•”My partner is just amazing, they look so pretty, they’re so stunning”

•Tries to learn about stuff you like so you both can do it.

•You like Knitting? He’s learning it.

•You like to play a certain game? He’s trying it out too.

•He gets the big sad when he’s away.

•Literally thinks he’s gonna die.

•Calls you from his room saying “I can’t go on my babies not here with me, it’s been 6 years”

•Dramatic man.

•Sends you so many dumb (cute) little videos.

•Also sends you so many pictures.

•So. Many. Pictures.

•Also listen- yall getting matching jewelry.

•Because he’ll be on tour and see these cute bracelets and need to get them for the both of you.

•He’s a really good gift giver too.

•Not that you want him too, and no matter how much you protest.

•He finds the most you gift. Like it’s scary.

•Overall this man is such a hopeless romantic.

•Be ready to be treated like a god.

•Cause honestly that’s how he views you.

︵‿︵‿୨Smut Below୧‿︵‿︵

•He’s just as romantic in the bedroom.

•Does the whole rose peddles to the bed.

•Candles, good music ext.

•His favorite way of fucking you is anyway he can see your face.

•He just wants to be able to kiss you.

•Hands frantically touching your body.

•Also think he’s very vocal. Not so much talking.

•More of he has his head in your neck moaning and groaning.

•Is definitely leaving marks on you. Thinks they’re pretty.

•Im a firm believer that he loves when you ride him facing him.

•He can hold onto tightly, hands running all over you.

•Both of your faces contorting in pleasure.

•Likes when you suck or bite his neck.

•Honestly probably likes when you choke him. Not hard but just enough.

•If he does talk it’s him whimpering about how good you feel or how good you’re doing.

•If you got tittie he sucking them. Feel like he’s a tittie kinda guy.

•Man also really enjoys shower sex.

•It’s just so so intimate.

•And this. This is the most loving kind of sex.

•It’s normally when he is really needy and just wants you.

•The feeling of the warm water while he fucks you makes him cum so fast.

•He just loves loves it.

•Aftercare with him is a lot of loving words.

•Cuddling on the bed as he pushes his hair out of your face.

•Telling you how much he loves you.

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

with or without you (pt. 2)

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: bottling you're feelings for so long, it begins to hurt. until you mention it.

word count: 5k

warnings: angst, heh not edited

a/n: long awaited pt 2 :0 hope u enjoy!

part 1 | masterlist | requests

You step through the door into the bustling New Year’s Eve party, the energy of the celebration immediately wrapping around you. The room is aglow with twinkling lights, silver streamers hanging from the ceiling like a cascade of stars. Laughter and the clinking of glasses fill the air, blending with the upbeat music that pulses through the space. The festive decorations, the cheerful faces, and the warmth of the room create an illusion of happiness, but beneath it, you feel an unshakable heaviness.

As you make your way further inside, you’re greeted by familiar faces and a sea of conversation. You offer polite smiles and exchange pleasantries with friends, trying to immerse yourself in the festivities. But every smile you give feels hollow, every laugh you share rings a bit too loud, as if you’re trying too hard to mask the sadness that lingers just beneath the surface.

Your gaze repeatedly drifts across the room to where Chan stands, effortlessly charming in the midst of his own circle. He’s laughing, his eyes sparkling with genuine joy, and you can’t help but notice how his attention is focused entirely on his girlfriend. They’re huddled close, their shared warmth and intimacy glaringly evident. Chan’s hand rests lightly on her back, a gesture so simple yet so intimate that it feels like a physical manifestation of the distance between you and him.

You attempt to engage in conversations, chatting with friends and participating in the party’s various activities, but each interaction feels like a distraction from the growing void within you. You sip on your drink and join in the occasional dance, trying to lose yourself in the crowd. Yet, the more you try to fit in, the more isolated you feel, as if an invisible barrier separates you from the celebration’s true joy.

The festive cheer seems to mock your internal struggle. Every cheer, every toast, every burst of laughter only highlights the stark contrast between the lively atmosphere and the quiet ache that fills your heart. The New Year’s resolutions and hopeful wishes being shared around you feel like a cruel reminder of what you lack—a meaningful connection that you’ve always longed for but never quite grasped.

As you glance back at Chan, you see him and his girlfriend sharing a tender moment, their conversation filled with the kind of closeness you’ve always wished for. It’s a reminder that while you’re surrounded by people and festive cheer, your heart remains distant and unfulfilled. The realization that Chan’s attention is so completely focused on someone else adds an extra layer of discomfort to your already mixed emotions.

The countdown to midnight begins, the room brimming with anticipation and excitement. You stand on the periphery of the celebration, watching as people gather to mark the New Year. Despite the lively surroundings, your heart feels heavy, and the hopeful excitement in the air feels distant, almost unreachable.

When the clock strikes midnight and cheers erupt around you, you try to join in the festivities, but the joy feels muted. The contrast between the party’s exuberance and your own sense of longing is more pronounced than ever. As you try to find solace in the crowd, the reality of Chan’s relationship and your unspoken feelings weigh heavily on you, making the celebration feel less like a new beginning and more like a poignant reminder of what might never be.

— 

You seek refuge from the party's clamor by slipping into a quieter corner of the room, the muffled sounds of celebration barely reaching you in this dimly lit space. You lean against the wall, taking a deep breath to steady your racing thoughts. It’s a small escape from the overwhelming mix of emotions that the night has brought.

Just as you’re beginning to gather your composure, Chan appears, his warm smile cutting through the dimness. His eyes light up as he spots you, and he makes his way over with an easy confidence that only makes your heart ache more.

“Hey, Y/N,” Chan greets you, his voice carrying a cheerful lilt. “Mind if I join you for a bit?”

You force a smile and nod. “Of course, Chan. I was just taking a break from the noise.”

Chan settles beside you, his demeanor relaxed as he leans casually against the wall. The contrast between his ease and the turmoil within you is stark. As you both stand there, the surrounding festivities fade into a distant hum, leaving you to focus on the conversation at hand.

“How are you? Anything new” He smiles at you

“I've been talking to this guy, he's pretty sweet but its new” the lie rolls off your tongue so naturally

“Oh thats cool! Good for you.”

Chan begins talking about how it's good you're opening yourself up but you just tune it out.

“I’ve got some big news. I’ve been planning something special for hana, and I think it’s going to be amazing.”

Your heart sinks at the mention of his girlfriend, but you do your best to mask your discomfort. “Oh? What’s the surprise?”

Chan’s face lights up even more as he continues. “I’m taking her on a surprise weekend getaway to this cozy cabin in the mountains. She’s always wanted to go, and I think it’s the perfect way to celebrate the New Year.”

As Chan talks, his enthusiasm is palpable. He describes the details with such joy that it almost feels like a physical weight pressing down on you. Each word he speaks, each gesture he makes as he talks about his plans, feels like a painful reminder of the gap between you.

“That sounds wonderful,” you manage to say, your voice trembling slightly despite your efforts to sound upbeat. “I’m sure she’ll love it.”

Chan’s eyes soften with affection as he continues, oblivious to the emotional strain he’s causing. “I really hope so. I want to make this special for her. It’s been amazing, honestly, feeling this way about someone. I’ve been thinking a lot about our future together lately. It feels like everything’s falling into place.”

The words cut through you like a knife. You swallow hard, trying to keep your emotions in check. The idea of Chan and his girlfriend planning a future together is a sharp contrast to the unspoken feelings you’ve harbored in silence. You nod, though it feels like a hollow gesture. “That’s really great, Chan. I’m happy for you.”

He seems to sense your support, his smile widening. “Thanks. I really appreciate that. You know, you’ve always been such a great friend. Always there to listen, always supportive. It means a lot to me.”

Your heart aches at his words. You’ve been there for him, listening and supporting, all while hiding your own feelings. The weight of Chan’s gratitude feels heavy, a reminder of the love you’ve kept hidden. “I’m glad I could help,” you say, your voice barely steady. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

Chan’s gaze turns thoughtful as he reflects on your words. “Yeah, definitely. I just wanted you to know how much I value your support. It’s made a huge difference on me.”

As Chan’s attention shifts back to the party, you find yourself standing on the edge of the conversation, feeling a profound sense of distance. You try to focus on his words, but the reality of his relationship and your own unspoken feelings create a barrier between you.

Chan eventually excuses himself to rejoin his girlfriend and the rest of the guests, leaving you alone in the quiet corner. You watch him go, a mix of emotions swirling inside you. The conversation, meant to be a brief exchange, has only intensified the pain of your unspoken longing.

As the sounds of the party slowly return to your awareness, you’re left with the weight of Chan’s revelations and the harsh truth of your own feelings. The festive atmosphere of the party now feels like a distant, almost cruel backdrop to the raw, unspoken ache within you.

You take a deep breath, trying to compose yourself before rejoining the crowd. The party’s energy feels both enticing and out of reach, as if you’re caught between the joy of the celebration and the quiet ache of your heart. Each step you take back into the fray of the festivities is accompanied by the bittersweet sting of realizing that while the New Year brings new beginnings for others, for you, it is a poignant reminder of what remains unfulfilled.

—

As you weave through the crowd of sweaty drunks, your attention is caught by a quiet conversation taking place in a secluded corner. You stop short, your curiosity piqued despite your better judgment. The voices are soft but clear enough for you to make out, and the realization hits you with a jolt: it’s Chan and his girlfriend.

You try to retreat, to give them their privacy, but something anchors you to the spot. Chan’s voice, filled with affection, mingles with the soft tones of his girlfriend’s replies, and you find yourself unable to move.

“You know,” Chan says, his voice tender and filled with warmth, “I’ve been thinking about us a lot lately. I’m so glad I met you. I dont know where I would be without you ya know. It feels like everything is falling into place.”

Hana’s response is equally warm, her words filled with love. “Are you trying to tease me ahaha? But seriously I love that you're in my life, Channie. I never imagined dating someone so sweet, I really got lucky with you, didn't I?”

The words cut through you like shards of glass. The intimacy of their conversation, the depth of their connection, and the way Chan speaks about his future with her are like a painful reminder of what you’ve been silently yearning for. Your heart races, each beat a reminder of the disparity between your hidden feelings and Chan’s open affection for someone else.

Your internal monologue is a storm of conflicting emotions. How did you end up here, on the outside of the warmth you’ve always wanted? Chan’s love, so genuine and real, feels like a world apart from your own unspoken longing. You’ve been there for him through everything, silently harboring feelings that now seem to be nothing more than a distant dream. The realization that Chan’s heart belongs to someone else, someone who is now a tangible part of his life, leaves you feeling both hollow and devastated.

You can’t stay in the corner any longer. The weight of your emotions feels unbearable, and you need to escape. You retreat to a more secluded area of the party, a small alcove away from the noise and the festive lights. Your breathing is shallow, your heart pounding as you try to control the tidal wave of emotion crashing over you.

Once you’re hidden away from prying eyes, the façade you’ve maintained begins to crumble. Your hands tremble as you sink to the floor, your back against the wall. The tears start slowly, almost hesitant, but quickly turn into a torrent of uncontrollable sobs. The weight of Chan’s affection for someone else crashes over you, and you struggle to catch your breath, the sobs coming in ragged bursts.

You’re overwhelmed by a sense of rejection and despair, your emotions spilling out in a torrent of hysteria. The festive sounds from the party seem distant and unreal, a sharp contrast to the crushing sorrow you feel. You clutch at your chest, trying to steady your shaking body, but the effort only makes the tears flow harder. The realization that your love was never meant to be, that your hopes and dreams were just a fantasy, feels almost unbearable.

Every sob and shake of your body is a manifestation of the heartache that’s been simmering just beneath the surface. You cry out, the sound muffled against your knees, each sob a testament to the love you’ve kept hidden and the rejection you’ve now faced. The solitude of the alcove offers no comfort, only a stark reminder of how alone you feel.

As the tears begin to subside, you’re left with a deep, aching emptiness. The breakdown, though cathartic, leaves you feeling drained and vulnerable. You sit there, your breathing slowly returning to normal, but the pain remains. The celebration outside seems like a distant echo, a cruel reminder of a world that continues to move forward while you’re stuck in your own private torment.

You eventually rise to your feet, your legs feeling heavy and unsteady. With a final, deep breath, you prepare to rejoin the party, though the weight of your emotions lingers heavily. The night, once filled with potential and hope, now feels like a stark reminder of the love you’ll never fully grasp.

— 

The lively energy of the party feels like a distant echo as you stand on the outskirts, battling the storm of emotions swirling inside you. The earlier meltdown has left you feeling raw and exposed, and the festive atmosphere only serves to highlight the void in your heart.

Felix, ever the perceptive friend, catches sight of your distress from across the room. Without hesitation, he makes his way to you, concern etched in every feature. He’s always been there for you, the one person who could sense when something was wrong, and tonight is no exception.

“Y/N,” Felix calls out softly, his voice laced with worry as he approaches. “You don’t look okay. What’s going on?”

You swallow hard, trying to keep your composure, but the pain is too overwhelming. The moment Felix’s kind eyes meet yours, the dam breaks, and you find yourself spilling everything you've bottled up. “I heard Chan talking to Hana. He’s so happy, so in love with her, and I… I feel like I’m losing him. I feel so bad for having these feelings when he's so happy, I can't ruin it for him, I just don't know what to do because I just really wish that was me over there.”

Felix’s expression softens with understanding as he listens, his hand reaching out to gently touch your arm. “Ynnie, Hey. It's okay. This must suck for you, you two have been friends for long. Maybe you just need space and it'll pass?”

A tear slips down your cheek as you struggle to put your emotions into words. “It’s more than that, Felix. I’ve been holding onto this hope, this dream that maybe one day he’d see me the way I see him. But now… now I know it’s never going to happen. And it hurts so much. How do I just let go?”

Felix’s eyes are full of sympathy as he searches for the right words. “I don't know, I really don't. I think you just need to move on, find somebody who loves you and sees you. Theres no point in chasing something that isnt going to happen; youre just hurting yourself.”

But you shake your head, the idea of moving on too painful to even consider. “I don’t want to move on, Felix. I can’t. I’ve loved him for so long, and the thought of letting go… it feels impossible. How do I stop loving him when every part of me is still holding onto him?”

Felix frowns, his concern deepening. “I get it, I really do. But holding onto this is only going to hurt you more in the long run. It’s not fair to yourself to keep clinging to something that isn’t there.”

The words sting, and you feel your heart clench in resistance. “But what if I’m not ready to give up on him? What if I can’t? I know it’s stupid, but I can’t just turn off my feelings, lix. He means everything to me.”

Felix sighs, his hand squeezing yours in a gesture of comfort. “It’s not stupid. Love isn’t something you can just switch off. But Y/N, you can’t keep hurting yourself like this. You have to think about what’s best for you.”

“I know you’re trying to help,” you whisper, tears brimming in your eyes again, “but I just… I can’t. I’m not ready to move on, and I don’t know if I ever will be. He’s too important to me.”

Felix’s expression is a mix of sadness and understanding as he pulls you into a hug. “I’m here for you, no matter what.”

You cling to Felix, grateful for his support, even as the ache in your heart refuses to fade. The thought of moving on feels like an insurmountable task, and deep down, you know you’re not ready to let go of the love you have for Chan. It’s a love that feels all-consuming, impossible to extinguish, even in the face of reality.

— 

As the New Year begins, you resolve to take charge of your life, determined to leave behind the emotional turmoil that has consumed you for far too long. The decision doesn’t come easily—each moment of clarity is hard-fought, the pain of unrequited love still sharp in your chest. But with the arrival of January, you know that something has to change. You can’t keep living in the shadow of what could have been, tethered to a hope that only brings heartache. The first you need is space; and that in itself feels like the impossible. He’s been such a constant presence in your life, but now, every interaction with him is a reminder of the love that will never be yours. You can only hope it will help ease the grip he has on your heart.

hiii ynnie are u busy 2day :3 what r u up 2 hehe

hai chan um a bit yea jst some stuff

anything exciting?

not really

It feels strange, almost wrong, to be so brief with him when you're used to sharing every detail of your day, but you force yourself to send the message without overthinking it. The moment it’s sent, a pang of guilt hits you, but you remind yourself that this is necessary. 

haiiii ynnieeee

heyy chan

missing hanging out with you wanna grab some coffee?

ahh im sorry i cant :/ iv been so busy lately maybe this weekend?

oo im going on a getaway hana this weekend maybe next week?

maybe Ill let you know know if im free

Each text feels like a small victory, a step toward reclaiming your emotional independence, even as it leaves you feeling hollow inside.

You throw yourself into new activities, trying to fill the void left by the emotional distance you’re creating. An art class that’s been on your bucket list for years becomes your new escape, a place where you can lose yourself in thoughts and daydreams even if only for an hour. You reconnect with old friends, people you’d drifted away from in your tunnel vision focused on Chan. You even go on a few dates, meeting new people who don’t carry the weight of unfulfilled dreams. But despite your best efforts, thoughts of Chan linger, creeping into your mind when you least expect it. Late at night, when the world is quiet, you find yourself scrolling through old photos, each image a painful reminder of what you once shared and what you’ll never have.

You even found a new cafe, its a place where you go to read and enjoy the quiet. 

The café is warm, the smell of coffee and freshly baked pastries enveloping you like a comforting embrace. You settle into a corner, the soft murmur of conversation around you creating a peaceful backdrop. But as you turn a page, a familiar laugh catches your attention, a sound that’s both sweet and bitter in your memory. Your heart skips a beat, and you glance up, only to see Chan. He’s sitting by the window, sunlight casting a golden halo around him, but it’s not the light that makes your breath catch. It’s the sight of Hana, sitting across from him, her eyes filled with the kind of affection you’ve always longed for. They’re leaning close, their heads almost touching as they talk in hushed tones, lost in their own world.

You can’t tear your gaze away, even as your chest tightens with a familiar ache. Chan’s face lights up as he talks to her, his smile wide and genuine in a way that makes your heart clench. Hana reaches out, brushing a strand of hair from his face, and the tenderness in the gesture nearly brings tears to your eyes. Before you can look away, they lean in, and you watch as they share a soft, lingering kiss. It’s a simple moment, a gesture of love between two people who belong together, but to you, it feels like a knife twisting in your heart. The café, once warm and inviting, now feels suffocating, the walls closing in as you struggle to breathe.

You close your book with trembling hands, unable to bear another moment of watching them together. Gathering your things, you rush out of the café, the cold air hitting you like a slap as you step outside. Tears blur your vision, and you walk aimlessly, trying to escape the pain that’s gnawing at your insides. You’ve worked so hard to distance yourself, to let go of the feelings that have held you captive, but seeing them together has undone all your progress. The wound you thought was healing has been ripped open, leaving you raw and vulnerable.

As you wander through the city streets, your resolution to move on feels shaky, uncertain. You replay the moment over and over in your mind, each time more painful than the last. Why can’t you let go? Why does it hurt so much to see him happy with someone else? The questions swirl in your mind, but deep down, you know the answer. Your heart is still tethered to Chan, even if you don’t want it to be. No matter how much distance you create, no matter how many new experiences you try to embrace, the truth remains: you’re not ready to let him go, not yet. And maybe, a small voice inside you whispers, you never will be.

The winter wind bites at your cheeks, but you barely feel it as you walk, lost in your thoughts. The city bustles around you, life moving forward, but you feel stuck, frozen in a moment of pain that you can’t escape. You stop at a park bench, the cold metal biting through your coat, and sit down heavily. Tears spill over, running hot down your cold cheeks, and you bury your face in your hands, letting the sobs come. The resolution you made at the start of the year feels distant, like a dream you once had but can no longer grasp. You want to be strong, to move on, but the reality of your feelings is so much more complicated than you ever imagined.

Your phone buzzes, pulling you out of your despair. It's a text from Chan

hey, haven't heard from you much. everything okay?

yea, jst been super busy. sorry

You stare at the words, knowing they’re a lie, knowing they can’t convey the storm raging inside you. But you send it anyway, because what else can you do?

Another buzz, and you see his reply:

no worries. let’s catch up soon?

Your heart aches at the thought, but you know you can’t keep putting it off. You’ve been distant, but he hasn’t pushed, and now you’re left with a choice. 

sure, maybe next week.

It feels like a betrayal, agreeing to see him when you know it will only bring more pain, but the idea of cutting him out completely is too much to bear. You pocket your phone, the tears drying on your cheeks as you sit in silence, trying to reconcile your resolve with the reality of your feelings. You’ve relapsed, fallen back into the pain you’ve been trying so hard to escape, and the weight of it threatens to crush you. But even in this moment of despair, a small part of you clings to hope. Hope that one day, you’ll find the strength to truly move on, to let go of the love that’s only ever brought you pain. You’re not there yet, but maybe, just maybe, you’ll get there eventually.

—

The café feels both familiar and strange as you sit across from Chan, nursing a cup of coffee that’s long since gone cold. The world outside is moving on, as it always does, with people bustling by, oblivious to the turmoil inside you. You’re here, in the present, but your heart is weighed down by the past, by everything that could have been but never was. Chan is talking about something, his voice as warm and comforting as ever, but the words barely register. You force a smile, nodding at the right moments, all the while feeling the weight of the lies you’re about to tell.

“So,” Chan says, leaning forward slightly, his eyes full of concern. “You’ve been really busy, huh? We haven’t hung out much lately. Everything okay?”

You swallow the lump in your throat and nod. “Yeah, school’s been crazy. You know how it is, just trying to keep up with everything.” The lie slips out easily, but it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. School isn’t the problem; it’s not what’s been keeping you away. It’s him, and the way every moment spent with him feels like a reminder of what you can’t have.

“And work?” he asks, genuinely curious, as if he’s been worrying about you more than he’s let on.

You force another smile, the kind that doesn’t reach your eyes. “Same old. Job’s keeping me on my toes. It’s good, though. I like staying busy.” Another lie. Work is just a distraction, something to fill the hours when you’re not consumed by thoughts of him.

Chan nods, seemingly satisfied with your answer, but there’s still a hint of concern in his eyes. “And that guy you mentioned last time? How’s that going?”

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of the guy—another fabrication you’ve woven to make it seem like you’re moving on, like you’re not hopelessly stuck on him. You hesitated before, but now there’s no turning back. “It’s... complicated,” you say, lowering your gaze to the table. “He’s giving me mixed signals. One day he’s all in, and the next, it’s like he’s pulling away. It’s frustrating.”

The words hang in the air, heavy with the irony of the situation. You’re not describing some imaginary guy; you’re talking about Chan, about how every interaction with him feels like a push and pull, a constant reminder of what you want but can’t have. But he doesn’t know that, and he never will.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Chan says softly, his brow furrowed in concern. “That sounds tough. If you ever need to talk about it, I’m here, okay? You know that right?”

The sincerity in his voice only makes it worse. You nod again, unable to trust yourself to speak. If you do, you’re afraid the floodgates will open, and everything you’ve been holding back will come pouring out. But you can’t let that happen. Not here, not now. So you swallow the words, the tears, the pain, and put on a brave face.

The rest of the conversation is a blur. You go through the motions, laughing at his jokes, offering bits of your life that aren’t too revealing, all the while feeling like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to fall. When it’s finally time to leave, you breathe a sigh of relief, but it’s short-lived. The moment you step outside, the cold air hits you, and the reality of what just happened crashes down.

You walk away from the café, your pace quickening as the emotions you’ve been suppressing start to rise to the surface. By the time you reach a secluded spot in the park, you’re trembling. The tears come suddenly, violently, as if they’ve been waiting for this moment to break free. You collapse onto a bench, burying your face in your hands as sobs wrack your body. It feels like the world is crumbling around you, like you’re being torn apart by the weight of your unspoken feelings.

You’ve reached your breaking point, and there’s no one here to catch you. No one to hold you and tell you it’s going to be okay. You’re alone, completely and utterly alone, and it’s devastating. The realization that you and Chan will never be together, that he’ll never know how deeply you love him, is like a dagger to the heart. It hurts more than anything you’ve ever felt, a pain so profound that it leaves you gasping for breath.

You cry until there are no tears left, until you’re empty and numb, sitting on that cold bench in the middle of winter, with nothing but your broken heart to keep you company. The world around you moves on, but you’re stuck in this moment, replaying every word, every lie, every smile that wasn’t quite real. You’ve tried so hard to be strong, to move on, but it’s all come crashing down. The love you’ve been holding onto is like a ghost, haunting you, and no matter how much you try to push it away, it lingers.

And so you sit there, alone in the dark, knowing that you have to let go but feeling like you never will. You’ve reached the end of the road, and all that’s left is the empty ache of unfulfilled dreams, the knowledge that you and Chan were never meant to be. And as you sit there, staring into the void, you realize that this is your reality now—living with the pain of a love that was never returned, and the hollow, endless silence that follows.

fin.

part 1 | masterlist | requests

jealous roommate hyunjin.

for my beloved @hyunebunx i hope you like it <𝟑 ； just jealous hyunjin ft. seungmin, 700+ wc, cursing, kissing, fluff —　inspired by this gif set.

𖹭 ⁺ 　

“take that off.” hyunjin grumbled when you two arrived at your shared dorm room. 

“what do you mean take that off?” you asked, being caught off guard. 

“that fucking hoodie.” he said. 

getting caught in the rain wasn’t part of your plan after your last class ended a few moments ago. seungmin, being a gentleman, lent you his hoodie as he ran through the rain with his hands above his head. hyunjin saw that as he walked out of the same building which made him sigh in annoyanceーrunning his fingers through his black long locks, and biting his tongue. the absence of your umbrellas was a mistake in this unpredictable weather. 

he threw the hood above his head as his hands were inside his pockets, walking past by and you saw him exiting the premises in a rush. you called his name multiple times but he didn’t even bother to look at what was behind him and continued to walk at a fast pace. damn his long legs. 

and that’s how you both ended up here. 

hyunjin tossed his bag on the couch and took off his own hoodie, tossing it again to the same side as he took a seat on the carpeted floor, ruffling his hair in frustration. you were confused as to why when you’ve never seen him like this before. or maybe you did.

“seungmin was just being nice,” you shrugged as he rolled his eyes, poking his inner cheek with his tongue. 

“well fuck yes he was! and it’s not fucking raining inside our dorm so take that off!” it was unusual for hyunjin to behave like this but you were sure that something was behind that behavior. 

“fine, fine!” you scoffed. “chill! i was going to and just tell me that you don’t like it when you see someone wearing seungmin’s hoodie just because you like him. i would’ve understand,” you smirked.

“what the fuck do you mean i like him?” he hissed, giving you a weird look. 

“oh please, don’t be defensive.” you replied, slowly taking off seungmin’s hoodie and straightening your clothes. hyunjin sighed harshly in response to what you’ve just said, glaring at you while running his fingers through his hair. 

“i don’t think of him that way.” he defended. 

“then why are you so worked up about this?” you asked trying to make him say something. 

hyunjin inhaled an amount of air before sighing again for the nth time only to stand up and pin you against the wall with his hands on both sides of your head, trapping you in it. he was looking at you with those captivating eyes and he seemed jealous over something. it was unexpected for that to happen and he couldn’t hold himself anymore. at first, he let all the people around be nice to you because you deserve that kind of treatment but seeing seungmin took care of that moment earlier, his own fucking best friend made him fume in anger inside. 

“i don’t like seeing you wearing other people’s clothes, y/n.” he said, making eye contact. “not from seungmin, not from anyone.” you admit it was hot of him to be like this as your heart started beating faster than its usual pace and rhythm, and the blush on your cheeks is probably visible now. if only hyunjin could point them out. you knew he was jealous and was just waiting for him to say something. and you teasing him about seungmin is just a way to make him state the obvious. 

“fine.” you said, crossing your arms to your chest. “only if you tell me why.” 

but he didn’t tell, instead, you felt his lips on yours. 

his soft, plump, hot lips, are coated over yours as they move gently tasting the aftertaste of the coffee you had this afternoon to keep you awake. your hands snaked around his neck as he captured your lips further and deeper with his fingers scratching the wallpaper behind you. it was the only thing that you’d been waiting for. he wasn’t expecting for you to kiss him back but he indulged that moment and hugged you tight. you stood closely as your bodies pressed together, feeling each other’s warmth and unspoken connection. 

and that was it, you both didn’t need to validate how you felt. 

“took you long enough,” you smirked against his lips. 

“shut up.” he protested before he continued to kiss you again. 

tags.　───　 @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji , @starseungs , @midsoulz , @oddracha , @armystay89 , @lashaemorow , @hanjsquokka , @suebin , @starlostastronaut , @stayconnecteed , @myjisung 　( open. )

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The real barbie is Y/n.

Y/n’s a doctor, a cop, a scientist, an agent, vet, hero, villain, astronaut, lawyer, spy, criminal, artist, chef, engineer, psychologist, architect, journalist, firefighter, event planner, mechanic, photographer, musician, actor, interior designer, bartender, fashion designer, barista, florist, forensic scientist, flight attendant, profiler, tour guide, translator, etc.