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Again such a good story!

Rule Breaker M.List

❥ pairing: han jisung x female reader (feat. hwang hyunjin) ❥ genres/tropes/au: series, fluff, romance, angst, boxer!jisung, journalism major!reader, fake dating!au, college!au ❥ rating: pg-13 ❥ warnings: included in each individual chapter ❥ status: completed ❥ word count: 87.7k ❥ synopsis: Han Jisung only wants one thing: to get his ex back. And for that, his best plan is to get a fake girlfriend, choosing Y/N as the one. Although she is not very happy with this idea, she knows she also has something to gain from this. She agrees with one condition: they must follow her list of rules. However, a simple list of rules cannot prevent one from falling in love and the other from getting their heart broken.

❥ lia's note: Your eyes are not deceiving you. This is a new masterlist for Rule Breaker because I'm back. I've decided to bring back some beloved fics, so here we are, starting with this one. This version will be edited to include fewer grammar mistakes, fewer typos and maybe a few additions here and there. The plot will remain the same with a few small tweaks to tie everything together nicely. This story is inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before, so you might see some similarities between this fic and the movie (I haven't read the books)

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🎡 Chapter List 🎡

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen (Finale)

Disclaimer: This fic is a work of fiction. The representation given to the idols does not reflect my opinion nor the actions of these individuals in real life.

© mxxndreams 2024 Copying, reposting, translating and/or any modifications of my work are strictly prohibited. Moodboard images from Pinterest. I do not own the rights to any of them, credit goes to rightful owners. If any of the images featured is yours, please reach out to me so I can properly credit it or remove it.

PLEASE READ THIS, I'm crying over this in the middle of night😭😭😭😭

Isn't it Lovely?

🖤: Hyunjin x Reader | Han Jisung x Reader 🖊️: approx 6.3K 🚨: Hanahaki AU, there is so much trauma and Angst. Major character death. No hopeful ending. Angst- No Comfort. A/N: I am so sorry... Hyune I'm so sorry.. Jisung... I am so sorry.. Reader... I am so sorry...

Play this while you read? | Mood Board

It was starting to get even harder to breathe. Hidden away in your apartment you forced yourself to finish the letters you started. You thought keeping it away from everyone was the best choice but as you sit in the darkness of your room you wish you had told someone. Anyone. You didn’t want to do this alone anymore. The more you wrote the more you cried, the more you wished you had just told one person- so one person would be there with you. 

You knew you couldn't tell anyone. You knew exactly what they had done had they known from the beginning. They’d have dragged you straight to a hospital and forcibly removed what slowly, and not so silently killed you. Your phone buzzed beside you and slowly you checked your messages. Jisung. You smile lightly at your phone. Tomorrow, you’d give him the box of letters. He’ll give out each letter. He’ll understand, right?

You sign the card meant for the top of the box addressed to Jisung,

Ji, 

Take this box and keep it safe. Please don’t open it, don’t look inside not until next week okay? Don’t ask me questions, just trust me okay? Next week open it, and give everything to the people they’re addressed to. Please. 

Thank you Ji, for always being there for me.

One more week. One more and everyone will know. Avoiding letting anyone know was always the best option. You know Jisung would have ripped you right out of the apartment and brought you to a doctor but you couldn’t live like that- having the flowers delicately taken out of you while they knowingly ripped out the feeling of love altogether. It would be no way to live- without the memory or feeling of ever being in love again. You couldn’t handle that- living as a shell of who you once were. 

One more week and you wouldn’t be on this earth anymore and everyone around you would be moving on with their lives. They’d have received the letters you had written them- maybe even shed a tear but eventually, they would come to forget you. Changbin would still be happy with Felix, and Seungmin would be attending his lectures and still trying to charm the girl in this English class. Jeongin would be cuddled up with his new girlfriend struggling to figure out what to do for their month anniversary. Chan would still be babying all of them, Minho would still be attempting to adopt new cats Hyunjin- Hyunjin would still be with the girl he had met in his art lecture. He would be happy, and in love as he always dreamed of. No one appreciated love the way he did, the way he saw love in such a beautiful way. The way you knew he would treat her with absolute respect and adoration, she would never need to fear losing him. He wasn’t that kind of guy. Life would simply, go on. 

Jisung would be the only one who would probably be more hurt than the rest. Being your best friend for so long. He had grown up with you, he had always been there for you. He was there when you found out you had the gene, the stupid goddamn gene that landed you where you were now. Cursed by your genetics, and betrayed by your heart- Hanahaki had taken over. Jisung always warned you to be careful who you’d fall in love with, he always told you to keep your heart closed off unless you knew for sure they could love you back- you did for the most part. You had your walls up until you met Hwang Hyunjin. 

Hwang Hyunjin destroyed the walls you had built to shield your very delicate heart. Hwang Hyunjin was the definition of a dream. Sweet, caring, attentive and the way he viewed the world was so beautiful. Anyone would have fallen for him, everyone did. Not only did he have such a gorgeous personality but he was also so incredibly handsome. Delicate features, and a toned body. He was ethereal, to say the least, a deadly combination of looks and sincerity. How could anyone not have fallen for someone who could easily be mistaken for an angel? 

You had first met Hyunjin through Jisung. They had met in college. The music major and the artist. They hadn’t always gotten along but once they realised they had a lot more in common than they had originally thought they became inseparable. The day you met Hyunjin was on his twenty-first birthday. It was cold out, the leftover freezing rain from the winter being poured out upon the earth as he and Jisung ran into your apartment soaked and shaking. You had quickly run to Jisung failing to properly notice the other standing beside him, taking his hands in your own as you tried to warm up the shivering boy. 

“Jisung you’re soaked! Oh my god get in the shower before you catch a cold I’ll dry your clothes!” You worried, 

“Y/N..” Jisung smiled, his teeth still chattering from the cold. “Y/N This is Hyunjin, he’s-” he lets out a soft sneeze, 

“Yes yes the artist Jisung I know- now get in the shower and warm up!” you look to the other boy, Tall, with long dark -wet hair that stuck to his face. His body trembling, “And you!” you say, “You’re next. For now in front of the heater!” you pointed to the small space heater you had set up in the living room where you were originally sitting- reading. Jisung hurries himself to the washroom, and Hyunjin sits quietly on the spot on the floor in front of the heater- his hands up in front of it as he attempts to keep them warm. “You’re shaking” you sigh as you drape your duvet over him. 

“T-thanks,” he says softly, “You know, spring shouldn’t be this cold.” 

“Well you two shouldn’t be running around in the rain, what were you thinking?” You said at you patter him down- 

“Han said we’d have more fun here, apparently Birthdays should be spent with friends and not at home watching dramas” Your eyes widen at the confession, 

“Happy birthday.” You smile, 

“Thank you-” 

“Now, this is going to sound weird but I really don't want you getting sick especially not on your birthday- undress in the bedroom and keep that blanket on you until your turn, I’ll get a head start on drying your clothes.” Hyunjin sits up watching you as you speak. He nods getting up slowly from his spot on the floor and heads into your bedroom. A few minutes later he emerges cocooned in your duvet clutching his clothes. He hands them to you and follows you to the laundry room- you throw them into the wash alongside Jisung's and run them on a light cycle. You were sure Jisung had left clothes somewhere in the guest room the question was where. With Hyunjin trailing you like a lost puppy you wandered into the spare bedroom and riffled through the closet. Surely he had something. You spot the blue gym bag buried deep in the back of the closet, with a light tug you drag it out of its spot and peek inside. Gym shorts, a tank top and a pair of sweats. 

“Well it’s not much, and you’re definitely taller than Ji but it’ll have to do until your clothes are clean and dry.” You hand him the bag, he fishes out the sweats and bows politely. 

“Thanks, honestly Your blankets are soft and all but uh- It’s weird being under someone's blankets naked and it wasn’t even for a good reason.” He laughs, and your brain freezes at the realization of what he’s saying. Your cheeks heat up at the image of Hyunjin under the blanket- naked for a ‘good reason’ No, no no- don’t think of that. 

“Uh, not to interrupt whatever the fuck is going on here but-” Jisung clears his throat at the door, his lower body wrapped in his designated towel, “Mind tossing the bag?” Hyunjin laughs as he holds the blanket closed with one hand and tosses the gym bag towards Jisung who almost manages to drop it as it falls into his hands, 

“I’ll uh-” you mutter, “Grab you a towel.” 

The rest of yours and Jisung's friends arrive an hour after the whole ordeal alongside a few others you didn’t quite fully know. Jisung sat happily in his shorts and tank while Hyunjin sat in front of the heater in Jisung's sweats. 

“Classy Hyune,” a boy you had seen on campus but never spoke to, “Meet a girl and suddenly you’re shirtless.” He smiles as he walks in behind Chan, 

“Y/N!” Chan smiles, “Taking care of the children I see” 

“Honestly as a single mother of three, you should really be helping out here more Chris.” You laugh, 

“Please I’m the one that takes care of Changbin and Felix. Your only responsibility is that one” Chan giggles as he points to Jisung. 

“Mom- Dad stop fighting” Felix chimes in, Hyunjin still sat quietly as he watched you interact with your friends. Jeongin swiftly takes his hoodie off and throws it at Hyunjin’s face. 

“Put a shirt on you heathen, we’re in the presence of a nice girl who’s helped you not get sick and you thank her by traumatizing her with your bare chest?” the same boy who has mentioned Hyunjin’s outfit- or lack thereof scoffs, “Apologies, he has no manners, I’m Yang Jeongin, unfortunately, i’m friends with the birthday boy so I will be taking responsibility for him” you smile at the boy, he seems sweet. Hyujin throws the sweater on, still carefully watching as everyone talks around him. 

“Please. Nice girl? Y/N spends half her time pants-less and the other half shirtless. If you think Hyune’s chest is traumatizing wait till you see her-” You give Seungmin a punch before he finishes his sentence, “SEE WHAT I MEAN? ANYTHING BUT NICE.” 

After that day the nine of you began to spend more time together. Hyunjin was often quiet, he enjoyed sitting back and observing the conversation. He’d speak up occasionally but most of the time it felt like he was studying everyone. Jisung had mentioned it for a long time Hyunjin just kept to himself. That was until he had started hanging around Jisung. Hyunjin had introduced him to Jeongin and from there the three of them had begun a small friendship. He mentioned how Hyunjin wasn’t usually this quiet around his friends and that maybe, he just needed to get used to the group. 

The more you spent time with the group including Hyunjin and Jeongin the more you got to know them (naturally as one would). You learned of Hyunjin’s love of art- and dance. You learned his favourite colours, foods, and seasons and that his favourite flower was the rose. You learned how he spoke softly around the group but when he spoke to you he was more- himself. He seemed to prefer one-on-one conversations to those with a group. He enjoyed watching everyone yell over each other but never wanted to speak over anyone. Oftentimes times the two of you would spend your time just talking to each other while the others yelled over one another. 

You got too close to him, too fast. You just didn’t know that at the time. 

He asked about your interests and your dreams, and he listened and responded thoughtfully to questions you’d ask. He’d bring you coffee and ask you to keep him company. You fell fast for him but you were only ever a good friend to him. 

“There’s this girl in my class.” Hyunjin sighs, “She’s sweet, cute. Her art is just, wow. She’s so talented, and I- god I feel so stupid Y/N” Your heart drops into your stomach. You lost him, yet he was never yours to lose. He’d always be your friend though right? So why does it feel like your heart just shattered? 

“You’re not stupid Jinnie, you admire her- so talk to her.” You smile as you bring the warm cup of coffee you’d been neglecting as you watched Hyunjn paint. 

“Should I?” He asks genuinely, and you nod. 

“Of course Jinnie,” 

The first date went well. Hyunjin came back to you and Jisung absolutely elated. He told the two of you how they had talked all night about art, their interests, and what they wanted to do in the future. He told you two how she had agreed to a second date and he how he hasn’t felt this excited about a girl in a while. He had unintentionally planted the seeds of your demise that night. Neither of you knew yet. 

By the third date, he had decided to officially ask her out. She said yes. She’d have been stupid to say no. That was the first time you felt the pain in your chest. You choked in attempts to take a breath, only to land yourself in a coughing fit- something stuck in your throat and you desperately forced the cough to rid yourself of it. You knew, yet what hurt the most was to see it fully. To fully let it sink in as you stared down at the rose petal covered in spit and blood laying on the palm of your hand. You cried for the first time over Hyunjin that night. 

Your group of nine had become a group of ten within a few weeks. Hyunjin brought his new girlfriend around quite often. He didn’t sit as close to you anymore, and when the group began to talk over each other he wouldn’t lean in to talk to you about how stupid they were all being. Instead, he whispered into her ear about- you wouldn’t know what. You watched, silently as your heart broke more. You could feel the sting in your chest, not only from the aching of heartbreak but the thorns puncturing your lungs as the roses grew. You excused yourself from the group, quietly heading to the furthest washroom in Chan's house. Heaving as you desperately tried to breathe, coughing up more of those delicate red rose petals. You didn’t think it would happen this fast. 

What neither you, nor Hyunjin noticed was the way Jisung watched you. Watched as the light in your eyes died out watching them- watched as you held back tears. He didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to accept it. Maybe the disease hadn’t come? Yes you had the genes for it- but maybe just maybe he was so lucky that you were unaffected by it. You’d have told him if something happened. You’d have told him if you were coughing up petals. You were his best friend and he was yours. He trusted you more than anything to tell him. You would- You would tell him. 

Jisung coughed that night. A small, purplish-blue petal forced it’s way up his throat. He stared down at it in horror. You didn’t love him as he did you. 

Almost a month later, Hyunjin had come to you asking for a woman's opinion on what to get his girlfriend for their month anniversary. You smiled through it, and the two of you went shopping- sometimes you thought you could pretend this wasn’t happening. That it wasn’t this god-awful disease of unrequited love attacking you. Sometimes you’d pretend you just caught a bad cold, and that Hyunjin was still your Jinnie, your close friend. Someone you’d love as a friend forever, but- reality was never so kind. He’d mention something she’d done that made him happy, or he’d see something she may like and ask you for advice and you’d feel the thorns, the threat of the roots squeezing your lungs until they could no longer garner any oxygen. Excusing yourself to the nearest washroom and barely making it inside before you coughed up more of the rose petals, you found that as the condition worsened, the blood that was once just specks and spots came out in larger quantities as time went on. 

 You’ve begun to hate roses. 

“Oh sweetheart-” an elderly woman whispered as she watched you whimper over the sink, she wiped away the blood from your mouth with a paper towel. “You should have those removed my dear.” You nodded and walked away quietly as she stood and watched you. Pitying you. You made your way back to Hyunjin who stood waiting near the benches just before the washrooms, the elderly woman behind you following along, “Deary-” she called out, but stopped as she eyed down Hyunjin. “That cough is quite heavy, I’d suggest heading home alone- lest the boy catch anything.” She smiles softly. She knows. She extended her hand offering a mask, “Rid yourself of that cough dear, it’ll be best.” was the last thing she said before walking away. 

“A-are you sick? What cough? Y/N Should you be resting!? You could have told me!” Hyunjin panics, as he quickly brings a hand to your face to check your temperature “You don’t feel warm, common Let's get you some tea and then home-” He says grabbing your wrist and gently tugging you along. 

“I’m fine Hyunjin honestly.” you sigh. 

You hid yourself away for a week after that day. Hyunjin and Jisung regularly came to check up on you to make sure you were recovering from your cold well. You lied. Saying you were fine and healthy again, and they both believed you. 

Once more you found yourself with the other nine in Chan’s house. Everyone sat around playing cards. Drinking, overall having a good time. You tried hard never to laugh too hard- god forbid you coughed up a flower in front of everyone. When everyone got bored- the group moved from inside to Chan's backyard. Quickly he started up a fire for the night, you watched as the flames rose and danced around the air before dissipating into the night. 

“You guys are gross!” Jeongin yells as he runs out of Chan's house, “Someone tell Hyunjin to be less gross.” he complains, the group laughs. 

“What did he do now?” You smile- only to regret the question immediately. 

“He’s so fucking mushy, can you do all your I love you’s in private and not with the group- like god not everyone wants to see your pda and shit” Jeonging yells, Hyunjin slowly making his way outside with his girlfriend's hand in his- laughing. 

“Please Innie, you’ll understand when you’re in love.” He smiles. Thank god for the summer weather- a small gust of wind pushes the smoke from the fire into your face and your coughs are easily excused as getting a lung full of smoke. You excuse yourself to hide away and spit out the soggy petals into the toilet. Cleaning your mouth out and quickly swish mouth wash around in it to avoid the iron scent of blood within it. You slowly make your way outside where everyone was still chatting away.

“You guys hear about Yeonjun?” Seungmin sighs, 

“Terrible isn’t it?” Hyunjin’s girlfriend says softly, “Hanahaki. Rare but devastating. I heard he’s having the flowers removed.” 

“That’s better than suffering.” Chan sighs, “I mean- what would you guys do if you had the gene and then- you know-” 

“I’d have them removed.” Hyunjin’s girlfriend says, “I’d rather lose the memory of the person than to die by suffocation.” you wince at the thought and let out a small cough, and the attention turns to you.

“Sorry, it’s like when you talk about lice and you can’t help but itch-” you mutter, “Talking about Hanaki is particularly uncomfortable for Jisung and I-” you sigh, as the others look to Jisung. 

“Yeah uh- we both, have the gene- but there's no guarantee it will happen you know?” he smiles up at you, “I mean neither of us has started coughing up petals and we’ve been in relationships before ya know?” 

“Isn’t it like a love thing though, not just a puppy love but like- oh god this is so mushy but like true love?” Minho asks, 

“There is no real science behind it-” you say, “You never know who will trigger it- it just happens.” 

“What would you two do if it happened, if I may ask-” Felix mutters, 

“I wouldn’t remove them.” You sigh, the silence that follows is deafening, the only sound is that of that fire and the slight rustling of the leaves in the summer wind. 

“W-why not” Hyunjin stutters, “You’d rather die in love with someone who doesn’t love you back than to live a long life and possibly find someone else?” Hyunjin didn’t mean to sound like he was judging- but it hit hard, it still hurt, 

“The thing about removing it Hyune, is that removal affects everyone differently. Some- lose memories of the person they once loved. Everything about them just- poof, gone. Others- they uh-” Jisung tries, 

“They’ll never be able to feel love at all ever again.” You finish. 

“Oh.” Hyunjin mutters, “Well if either of you ever falls in love with someone that triggers it- tell us. Okay?” 

“I wouldn’t keep it from you guys- I’m sure we're fine!” Jisung smiles. What no one knew was that Jisung was suffering. Hiding away just as you were. Neither of you went to the other to tell them what was going on because Jisung would rather suffer than have you pity him for loving you all this time. You had fallen in love and he saw it, and you had survived- unaffected by your cursed genetics. So he would spare you the details, he wouldn’t allow you to witness him- wilting away as he desperately held on to you. Your last memories of him would not be of him coughing up flowers. God forbid you ever found out. He would not allow it. 

You could barely move, barely breathe. Your lungs hurt to take in air, the coughing never stopped yet still you pushed- and pushed. You tried so hard to be normal around your friends, but soon enough you couldn’t push anymore. You hid yourself away. Claiming to be busy with work- You ignored calls, and didn’t open the door when people came looking for you. The coughing was so bad and the blood loss made you feel dizzy. Your time was coming. You clicked your phone on and sent a quick message to your friends.

STRAYS

Y/N: Movie night, my place friday @ 6 please I’ve been so shit without y’all 

Minho: SHE LIVES! Bet! See you there! 

Felix: Im down! 

You ignored the rest of the incoming texts. You had a mission, two days to complete it and it required all of your strength. You got up from your bed, dragging your bucket of petals alongside you as you planted yourself in the living room and began to write. 

To: Chris. 

To:  Minho.

To: Changbin. 

To: Felix

To: Seungmin

To: Jeongin

To: Jisung

To: Hyunjin

To: Mom & Dad

The last three of your letters being the most important. You needed to take your time with those three.

Jisung had decided to head over early. He was coughing still but not too badly, he felt fine enough to go hang out with you for a bit and help you set up. You had been working so much he was glad to finally see you- he just wanted to be the first one to see you. He made his way up to your door- opting to knock first before letting himself in, but when you didn’t answer he made use of his key and made his way inside. The apartment was quiet and dark. Perhaps you weren’t home yet. He made his way into the living room and sat himself on the couch, taking out his phone to call you. The confusion hit more when he heard your phone buzzing, but there was no effort from you to answer the call. 

“Y/N?” Jisung called out, but you didn’t answer. He made his way to your bedroom, knocking on the door softly. Still, nothing. He pushed the door open and immediately his legs gave out. Eyes watering, the cough returning in full force. The screams Jisung let out were heartbreaking. And thats how everyone else found him. Screaming, crying, and coughing up bloodied flower petals. Chan rushed to him instantly, picking him up off the floor in front of your room, 

“Han!” Chan called out to him, “Han talk to me what happened?” only then did Chan look up, and see what Jisung was sobbing over. “Felix.” Chan held back his tears as much as he could as he looked to Jisung, “Felix come here and shut the fucking door to her room, shut it- shut it now!” He yelled out, as Felix rushed to the door, Hyunjin let go of his girlfriends hand, making his way slowly to your door but Jisung looked up and glared. 

“Get out.” He spat, “Get out!” 

“H-Han” Hyunjin said in confusion, 

“GET OUT HYUNJIN GET THE FUCK OUT YOU DON’T GET TO SEE HER, YOU DON’T GET TO FUCKING SEE HER” He screamed, attempting to lunge at Hyunjin, “IT’S YOUR FAULT- IT’S YOUR FAULT SHE’S DEAD- IT’S YOUR FAULT!” Jisung was yelling on pure adrenaline, his mind wasn’t processing the words he was saying to his best friend. He needed someone to blame, and Hyunjin just seemed like the best answer. 

“FELIX! CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR” Minho yelled out, 

“Dead..” Hyunjin looks into your room just as Felix closes the door, the only glimpse of you he got was your hand hanging off the bed. Jisung’s screams were interrupted by more coughing, petals spilling out of his mouth as he clutched his chest, heaving. It took a moment to process but it clicked. You were gone. and Jisung was dying. 

“Uh, guys. We uh- we can’t leave her like that.” Seungmin sighs, as tears slowly stream down his face. “I’m going to go call the cops.” 

You never got to put the card explaining to Jisung to wait a week before giving out the letters. It lay in your room while the box lay collecting dust in the living room. Where everyone sat waiting for the authorities to arrive. Minho was ultimately the one to hand out the letters to everyone sitting around. 

No one read them until they had gone home. 

The funeral was nice. Jisung thought there was a terrible irony in the flower arrangement that decorated your casket. To die by roses, only to be buried with them in the end. You’d have hated it. The group hadn’t really seen each other since that day. Some of them had tried checking up on Jisung having learned of his condition but he simply ignored them. He couldn’t bring himself to tell them he’d be meeting the same fate because everyone had the same questions. ‘Who is it Jisung? Maybe if we tell them.’ No one noticed how Jisung loved you. 

He stood alongside your family, as guests came and went paying their respects to your family, him as your lifelong best friend included. Chan came up first, said a few words to everyone before he disappeared back into the crowd. Seungmin and Jeonging were next. Minho and Changbin followed after. When Jisung had spotted Hyunjin making his way up slowly to your family he half expected his girlfriend to be following along, but she made no appearance. You never did give his name to your family. You didn’t want them to blame him. 

Jisung wanted to blame him, but he knew he couldn’t. Hyunjin just didn’t know. It wasn’t a lack of caring, it was the complete lack of knowledge and Jisung couldn’t blame him for that. 

“My name is Hwang Hyunjin,” he said softly, “I’m-” he choked on his words, “I did it to her-” he sobbed, bringing his hands up to cover his face as he hid in shame from your family, “I didn’t know- I swear- If I had-” your mother places a hand on his shoulder, in attempt to comfort him, 

“It wasn’t your fault,” was all she could say as Hyunjin sobbed. Jisung excuses himself from your family, motioning for Hyunjin to follow him. The two of them find an empty hallway to talk in. 

“Jisung?” Hyunjin sniffles, as he tries to wipe away his tears that seemingly won’t stop. 

“I watched her fall in love with you Hyunjin. I watched her love you with everything she had in her.” Jisung coughs, it hurts to cough up the tiny followers you loved so much. Would he be the next to go? Probably. Hyunjin’s eyes grow wide as he watches the dainty petals fall from Jisung’s lips. Tiny blue and purple petals- covered in spit and blood.

Jisung was tired. He was so tired.  

“You know she hid it from us all? She died alone Hyune,” He takes a deep breath in, Hyunjin could see the way Jisung struggles to breathe- two people. Two people in his life with the same disease, how could he have been so blind to it? 

“I-” Hyunjin stutters, it was his fault. It was all his fault. “I didn’t know- If I had known Jisung- I could have-”  

“That’s not how love works Hyunjin and you know it. She didn’t tell you because she didn’t want you to pity her, she didn’t tell you because she didn’t want you to force yourself to love her because she was dying.” Jisung lets out another loud cough. “I’m sorry you know?” 

“Sorry?” Hyunjin mutters, “For what? I should be the one apologizing.” 

“For saying it was your fault she died-” Jisung sighs, “It wasn’t, I should have noticed but it wasn’t your fault. She hid it for a reason.” 

“You know, the worst part is- I can’t win in this situation,” Hyunjin sighs as he leans against the wall, sinking down to the ground. “If I had known she liked me, I’d have asked her out-” Jisung looks to him confused, “I always thought she just saw me as a friend- as someone she was close to- never- as someone she could love like that.” Jisung watches as Hyunjin takes out a crumpled piece of paper out of his coat pocket, “Didn’t know till she wrote it all out and she was gone. Should have seen Jisu’s reaction when she found out.” 

“How is she by the way?” Jisung asks, 

“Wouldn’t know, we broke up. Couldn’t be with her after I killed someone- She couldn’t handle knowing her friend died because of me either. She liked Y/N a lot. They weren’t that close but she liked her.” Hyunjin shakily hands over the piece of paper to Jisung. 

Hyunjin, 

Where do I even start? I guess, I start with I’m sorry. Probably should have told everyone sooner. I hope you’re not blaming yourself. If you are- please don’t. Please, please don’t. It’s not your fault. You know, since they told me I had the gene, I was warned. Warned to keep my heart guarded, warned to keep myself safe, not to love just anyone. I don’t regret it you know? I don’t at all. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t expect you to tear down those walls I had so quickly, but still, I don’t regret letting you in. 

I guess you probably have a lot of questions huh? 

Firstly yes, your shirtlessness when we first met did traumatise me :) kidding. But seriously. I’m sure you have so many questions that I wish I could just answer for you but- they’re a bit complicated.  So ill answer the ones I can think of right now, 

Does it hurt? Unfortunately. These kinds of flowers are, beautiful. Truly a symbol of love, but also dangerous and-, I can feel them in my lungs. It does hurt but it's bearable. 

How long? I think the first time I coughed up a petal was when you first asked out Jisu. How long had I been into you? Well, I’m not sure, to be honest. I think I took a liking to you after we had met, but I definitely knew when we would spend days together in your studio and I’d watch you get lost in your canvass. (I hope you’re still painting, by the way, you’re so talented. Don’t ever stop please.) 

Am I scared? Terribly. I wish I told one of you sooner so I don’t have to do this alone- Jinnie I’m terrified.

Why didn’t I tell you? For a lot of reasons but honestly, because you looked so happy with Jisu! Gosh, I hope you two are okay right now- selfish of me to be confessing to you over a letter after I straight up died, but honestly, wholeheartedly I hope the two of you are happy! You deserve to love and be loved. I’ve never met anyone who sees so much beauty in falling in love- who thinks of it in such a fairytale way. You deserve to be happy, so I guess that’s why I didn’t say anything. She loves you, and you her. And knowing that you’re happy makes it easier for me to leave. 

Jisung pushes the paper back to Hyunjin, he can’t read anymore. 

“You know, she ended it with ‘I love you Jinnie, live happily for me, and love strongly for me’ and I couldn’t even do that for her,” Hyunjin says softly, Jisung could tell he was breaking inside. Jisung could also tell he’d read through that letter like his life depended on it, like it would keep him grounded. 

“You have time to live happily Hyune- to love for her. You still have time,” Jisung says, 

“What about you-” Hyunjin could feel the tears threatening to breach again, he couldn’t lose another person. Maybe he could help Jisung, maybe he could do something- anything to save him. 

“They can’t love me back.” He sighs, “It’s fine.” 

“Who is it?” Hyunjin asks, “Maybe we could talk to them or something. We both saw how not saying anything ends, maybe if we just get you to talk to-”

“I can’t Hyunjin,” Jisung says somewhat aggressively, “She can never love me back, it was too late even before-”

“No- Maybe they can! Maybe we can-” Hyunjin panics as he cuts off Jisung, he can’t lose his best friend, he can’t. “We- we can-” 

“HYUNJIN SHES DEAD. SHE CAN’T.” Jisung shouts, and it clicks for Hyunjin, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled, you’re scared and hurting. I know you just want to help but-” Jisung choked as he coughed, “There’s no helping this one and I think what hurts the most Hyune- is that loving you killed her faster than loving her is killing me," Jisung sighs, 

"What do you mean?" 

"I found her in full bloom. She had a rose bush growing inside her, thorns and all" Jisung sighs, “Roses out of her mouth, and chest- You know people romanticize it like it’s some beautiful display, but no one seems to remember how much blood comes with your chest bursting with flowers.” Jisung shutters. 

"R-roses.." Hyunjin stutters

"Yeah- fuck I shouldn’t have said that- sorry." 

"No- I just- wish I knew sooner." Hyunjin is about to burst, with more tears. He knows what Jisung is saying isn’t to place blame on him, but to help him understand what he was going through- what you went through, he also knew Jisung didn’t always know how to explain his feelings fully- but it didn’t make it hurt any less, it didn’t make him blame himself any less either  "What about you then-"

"Forget me not’s. small, but invasive. they spread fast - definitely not as painful as a rose but- still they hurt.  I’ll have them removed soon.” Jisung sighs, 

“You’re gonna do the surgery?” Hyunjin looks to Jisung, like he has some sort of hope in his eyes, and it kills Jisung inside, but he simply nods. 

It was getting harder to breathe as he stared down at the contract. Jisung knew this would be it. Removing them would only lead to him forgetting you. Forgetting how he loved you. Forgetting your smile, your laugh. How when you were happy you’d scrunch your nose. Or when you were upset or sad or had too much on your mind your leg would bounce subtly. 

Would Hyunjin had noticed all of these things? 

God. Jisung thought to himself. He should have just told you. 

He stared down at the contract once more, A violent coughing fit threatened to breach but he knew it wouldn’t ever feel better. The roots were already too far gone, hugging his lungs tight. Every day he could feel the small purple and blue forget-me-nots making their way up his throat threatening to burst out of his chest and mouth in full bloom. 

Slowly he rises from his seat. 

It’s time. 

Jisung never did sign the contract. Opting to go home. Lay down. And hug your sweater and one other thing that reminded him of you. 

“You always said you’d follow me to the ends of the earth” You smiled, a gentle one at him as get let out a breath. “Lets go?” and he did, he followed you to the ends of the earth. 

Hyunjin couldn’t even scream, something blocked out the screams he so desperately wanted to let out. His heart shattered. He could feel the physical pain of it breaking within his chest.

 Hyunjin found Jisung clutching a photo of you and him as kids. On the back, in pen, he had written his last words. 

If I have to let you go, I’d rather be dead.

Tag List: @chanlixiiee @amalieworldidk @jaebaebaegot7 @maeleelee @iadorethemskz @maenijw @hangin-out-with-the-street-rats @jinniespuppy @painstakingly-juno @lethallyprotected @elizalabs3 @jisungsbff01 @seungminslittlepup @lieghscloud @foxinnie8 @scarletbedlam @kpoppin-to-the-beat @stay-berry @bbymatz @kurxxmi

It's soooo FUCKING ADORABLE💓💓💓

Not really like "you" in this story but like you can clearly see the world in this story like just imagining bruhhh

Yeah, Flowers Follow

You have always been committed to your duty at your mom's flower shop since she got hurt carrying bags of dirt over a month ago. It was mostly just you and the flowers, until he barged in one day, slapped 20 bucks on the countertop and with a passive-aggressive tone, asked: "How do I say fuck you in flower?"

because seo changbin + fluff will always have me in a chokehold. And a flower au? fuck yea, bring it on, babe.

inspired by this pin which I'll link here

edit: omg guys you loved this so much I just couldn't resist making a part two, still, this can be read as a stand-alone, although I hope you guy's like this one as much as its 'second part', which I'll link here

Word count: 5k. Binnie isn't mean, ok? He's just emo and tough-looking. And kinda introverted. fluff fluff fluff. swearing. kinda horny towards the end, but no spice added. Lol

You wiped your sweat from your forehead, rolling your sleeves up with a huff as you took back in your hands a big old water can. You watered the lilies and small ivies that remained outside of the flower shop, quickly waddling back inside for more water.

Your mother was usually the one who took care of Lilac, the flower shop. At first, it had been her and your aunties, but it all flew away after your grandma's passing. You had been young, so much that your memories of the time were mostly made of blurry faces that were not present in your life to this day. Your mom had been okay taking care of the small flowery world she built, but an accident with a heavy bag of dirt over a month ago made you complain. She reluctantly let you handle the store until her back got better, which was coming along slowly.

After watering the plants, sweeping the floor, pruning the bonsais, and preparing the several bouquet orders you had for the day, you ran out of things to do, settling to play some jazzy music while you reviewed your class’ notes as you waited for clients.

Your evening was quite calming. Clients came in like droplets, so the shop never felt too crowded. Most of them asked for flowers for their loved ones, some even speaking about their partners, how they had met, or the dates they were excited to have.

It was cute. You had always been fond of the small flower shop and shared the interest with your mom, reason why you didn't care about taking the lead for a while or doing your homework there. You loved the way the flowers brought people together, and the stories and meanings that they had behind them.

Just as you figured out the answer to that one question you had been stuck on, the bell rang, indicating someone's presence inside. Someone that approached you in a rather passive-aggressive manner.

"How can I say 'fuck you' in flower?"

Words that you had never imagined coming out of someone's mouth —which was something, considering the wide range that your imagination could reach sometimes—.

You carefully observed the man's gestures, who didn't stop scanning the place. Years spent helping out at the flower shop had given you a kind of sixth sense, one that allowed you to easily see through people's appearances.

"Do you have anything in mind, or do you not care as long as it is full of loathing?" You inquired with a sweet smile.

Changbin found himself suddenly falling into the harmony of your eyes without realizing it. You quickly left the books on the shelf under the counter, lowered the music and turned to him. Your eyes rested on his, brown and limpid, to which he adopted a belligerent posture in response, an action that —to his surprise— did not unsettle you. He quickly shook his head, focusing on the anger that remained inside of him.

"Make it striking. Something so colourful that can even hurt to look at." You giggled.

"Intense." He held back a smile, his lips twitching. "One second."

He stared at your figure as you went to the small workshop behind the counter. The feeling that Changbin had at first had nothing to do with what he was perceiving at that time. A pleasant floral smell, mixed with mint and lavender essence filled the building. It wasn't only the exquisite aroma that captivated the man, but the beautiful colourful landscape that that small establishment hid. The white wood decoration made any bouquet or flower pot stand out as if it were the icing on a cake. The large windows allowed a large amount of light to enter, and they gave amplitude to the small place.

It was a beautiful place, but strange. Peculiar, for sure, and it was due to the chromatic order of its flowers. Sorted by colour scale, regardless of the species. The red roses were with the poppies, the tulips with the clivias and the orange jasmines. The ferns, aloe vera and fittonias were also together, despite having nothing to do with each other. The coves, cherry blossoms and hydrangeas shared a common space that at first glance, they should not have. It was a beautiful chaos, but it was still a floral hustle and bustle.

"Do you like it?" You asked sweetly when you came back.

"It's not bad." He replied vaguely. "It's..." Ravishing "...small."

From his attitude and the way he studied the place, almost as if he expected some kind of danger to appear among the pots and leaves, some would say he was not to be messed with, but to you, he looked like someone rather shy and quite sceptical, nothing to do with what he might seem as, considering that tattooed bad-guy build and the killer stare that he carried around. A thought occurred that his somewhat murderous look did not allow him to say what he really thought.

Nevertheless, you could agree with him. Not only was it a small store, but it was a disarray of varieties. Nevertheless, to Changbin, above all, feeling watched all the time was something he was used to, yet your stare felt different, making him feel more goosebumps the longer he was under your eager gaze. He couldn't help it, but when you looked at him so kindly, he felt strange.

He wanted you to stop looking at him.

"Orders arrive on Wednesdays," you mentioned, already arranged behind the counter. "Shop opens at nine, so feel free to arrive whenever. I will need more flowers for your bouquet, so until then, I'm afraid I can't have it. Either that or..."

Changbin interrupted you. He couldn't stand to have those deep-coloured eyes immersing in his own.

"Wednesday is fine." He said in a huff.

You smiled, dimples on display. "Okay! Then as long as you stop by on Wednesday, we can arrange the bouquet. I'll be here, spraying water to the chrysanthemums, alliums and hydrangeas."

Changbin felt his chest tighten, his eyes wandering around your features, your dimples, your lips. He stopped himself, took back his cash almost in a hurry, and left almost as quickly as he had arrived.

"See you then, and thanks for shopping in Lilac!"

[☆ ☆ 💐 ☆ ☆]

Wednesday. The delivery truck was parked on the street facing the back of the store to unload the flowers you had ordered for the week.

To your surprise, Mystery —the nickname you had chosen for him, that sounded way better than 'fuck you flower boy'— came back precisely at nine am, and again, surprisingly enough, he wasn't alone.

He looked way more relaxed with his friend, the anger that almost shocked you looking long gone as his features didn't remain tense.

The bell rang as you were preparing the workshop for the arrival of the many flowers.

"Wow, this place is lit." His friend had good taste, judging by what you could hear.

"Thank you!" You mentioned with a cheeky smile, startling both men when you came out of nowhere. "Sorry, the truck’s outside, but I’ll be here in a minute."

You approached the delivery guy, who was opening the truck and setting the ramp so lowering the different flowers wouldn’t be too hard.

“Hey, Jerry!”

A comfortable chat took place between the two, who had met each other several times ever since your mom got hurt.

Inside, another conversation was happening. “Remind me, what are we waiting for, buddy?” Han asked as he wandered about in the colourful building.

Changbin sighed, frustrated at the reminder.

“The boss said something the other day I didn’t like. As a matter of fact, I despised it,” he grunted. “He looked at my desk and saw the bouquet I kept there, the one we got for that other show, you know?” Han hummed, paying attention. Weirdly enough, Seo’s eyes never left the backdoor you had gone through, not even when he continued. “So he mentioned how untidy my desk looked, how disgusting it would look when the flowers died, and hinted that flowers would look way better in his studio. It made me fucking angry. I don’t care if no one likes you that much to give you pretty flowers.” Han cleared his throat, allowing Changbin to return from his hating cloud. “Yeah. Uh. So we’re here to plan his bouquet.”

“Sheesh, I get that. The boss can be such an asshole sometimes.” Jisung mentioned vaguely. “But why nine am?”

Because I needed the excuse to see her. “I want to get this over with. If I’m lucky, he’ll even brag about the flowers.” He smirked, hiding his true intentions.

He suddenly heard some giggles through the door you had crossed. Han arched his brows.

“So you offered to pay for coffee and takeaway tonight for me just so I’d come with you here only to get flowers for the big man? Really?” He said, faking innocence as he settled his elbows on the counter, holding his cheeks in his hands, almost like a toddler.

He gave Han a side-eye. He shrugged. “Give me one more sign, and I might start thinking that…”

Bin covered his mouth. “Don’t. And that also goes to don’t lick it, or I’ll make sure Minho air fries you.”

Jisung lifted his hands, giving up. “I wonder what’s going on back there.” He smirked, teasing.

Changbin didn't want to flutter around you two, but he knew that putting the flowers in the store wasn’t that hard. He clenched his jaw unconsciously.

"If I had known that you were looking for an employee, I would have come running," said the boy, putting his cap back. “If you are looking for more staff, you know where I am.”

"It's very kind of you, but I never looked for anyone in the first place. Mom wouldn’t even dare to accept it,” you laughed. “Also, I wouldn't bother you knowing that you have your own trade. In addition, I get to put my skills to the test, but I can get quite moody sometimes. I bite, you know.”

He arched an eyebrow. "Don't worry about any of that. Working with you would be a thousand times better than distributing flowers throughout the city.”

Maybe it had been how you laughed or the snarky reply he had just heard, but Changbin needed that man to leave. Now.

Your eyes landed on that buff silhouette who entered the inside of the truck. Seo continued to unload the flowers. You tried to finish the conversation, but the guy wouldn’t stop talking while there was a client of yours doing your fucking job. You grew tired of Jerry, and you got up inside the trunk, willing for the man to take a hint and leave already.

Han couldn’t believe his eyes.

"Oh, please don't," Jerry went up too. "I'll take care of moving the plants.”

"Don't worry, it's the last one.” You tiredly smiled at him.

You took the remaining bouquet and got out of the truck behind Seo while the delivery guy wondered when the flowers had been unloaded. You quickly said your goodbyes before you returned to the counter.

"Thank you for lowering the flowers, it was not your job yet you did it anyways,” you smiled shyly as you started preparing the table in front of you with different sorts of labels plus the diferent tools you needed. “Sorry for the wait.”

“You’re fine. Don’t worry.”

Han stared blankly at the man who scolded him singlehandedly every day he was late to the studio just by a minute. He then stared back at you, then at his friend.

No bloody way. Holy shit.

"For your order, I found something the other day I though you might enjoy," your smile widened, your eyes like crescent moons as you handed him a small book.

“Oh.”

It was an old copy of a book that read “The Language of Flowers.”

“Maybe you could search up in the insults chapter if you see any meaning that you think could suit.”

He looked at you and quickly back to the book so he wouldn’t drift away in your eyes like days ago.

“Yeah, fine.”

Changbin was not very talkative, but the bitter tone with which he spoke was unusual. Han could tell, years of knowing the man allowed him to feel a bad mood in the way he communicated. His gaze was more frivolous than usual, and he squeezed his lips as if he didn't want to say anything. Shockingly to him, you noticed and were unable to let it go.

"Is something wrong?" You questioned softly. “Are you upset?”

Changbin hesitated. Han gave him a soft kick where he knew you wouldn’t see it.

“Yes.”

You started slowly writing in the labels before you as he, at the same pace, passed the pages.

"May I know why?"

Changbin cleared his throat. Shit, why was he so nervous?

"That guy was just talking, and that's why I had to do his job,” he grunted.

"I... I'm sorry." You looked down, sounding sincere. “If I hadn't given him a conversation, he would have started unloading the flowers.”

It wasn't true, and Changbin wasn't an idiot. That guy wouldn't have taken his eyes away from you unless he didn't have enough time to finish his shift.

But that didn't matter to him. What mattered was that your voice didn’t sound the same when you talked about this guy. It didn’t sound right.

"What type of flower is a Forget-Me-Not?" Han interrupted, looking at the book, reading past Changbin's shoulder. If he continued like that, Seo may not scold him anymore. For a short time, at least. Maybe a week.

"Oh." You recovered your kind smile, and the knot that had formed on Changbin’s chest untangled as soon as he heard your excited tone as you showed Han the small blue flowers. “They actually import them, from Mexico! Did you know?” You asked no one in particular, the two men in the shop suddenly interested in the topic as you continued to blabber about flowers.

To Changbin, only when you talked about them, your voice seemed less annoying. Even pretty, he could admit —not out loud, obviously—. But he liked it, mentally classifying your sweet tone of voice into “I-would-listen-to-it-to-fall-asleep”.

No one would notice.

[☆ ☆ 💐 ☆ ☆]

“Dude. You are like, I don’t know, totally in love with her?” Han said as he took a sip from his takeaway coffee as he entered the recording studio and sat on the sofa.

In his mind, just because he hadn’t paid for it, it tasted ten times better, even though if it was the same he chose every day.

The accusation almost made Changbin spit his own drink. He stared at it, wondering if there could be something in it that could’ve explained why his face felt so hot all of a sudden.

Fuck, was it that noticeable?

“Yeah man, it is really noticeable.” Han smiled, surprised at his silent victory. “You look at her like Minho Hyung looks at his cats. It’s sickening, really.”

Changbin frowned. “I do not.” Jisung deadpanned.

“Says the man that made me third wheel in a fucking flower shop.”

“What are you guys bickering about?” Chan asked with a small smile as he got inside.

“Changbin is in love with the flower girl two blocks away.” Han teased in a sing-song voice.

“Fuck that.” Chan’s eyes grew big with emotion.

“Shit, he is.”

“Actually, Hyung,” Jisung mentioned as he handed Chan the other coffee he had bought, “I think she might like him back.”

Changbin coughed violently. The others smiled.

“Why the fuck would she?” He frowned again, his eyes not leaving his phone. “I literally met her last week and behaved like a piece of shit.”

Both Chan and Han smiled, knowing that by not refusing the allegation, Changbin was actually interested in Miss Flower Girl.

“Remember the analogy I made with Minho and his cats? Same shit goes for her. I’ve never seen anyone staring so intensely at someone’s eyes.” Han trembled, exaggerating. “Chills. Literal chills.”

Small hope was planted in Changbin’s heart, but he tried to shove it deep inside him. “Either way, after I go and get the flowers from her, whatever this is, is over. There’s no chance,” he shrugged.

Chan and Jisung shared worried looks. Despite what Changbin could show to people, he was a loving, sensible person. They both knew that if he had silently admitted the existence of a crush on this girl, it was because he meant it. And for a guy like him, who was often viewed as mean and rude or even dangerous, he usually chose to approach new people the less, so whatever was going through his mind meant a big deal.

Chan tsked. “Maybe it’s none of my business, bro, but after Hari, I’ve-.”

“Spare me the trip, Hyung,” Changbin interrupted in a low voice. “She’s been stalking me for months since I broke up with her. I really don’t want to hear it.”

Chan patted his back, a sad smile on his features as he looked at his friend.

“S’good, man. No hard feelings.”

After working on some tracks for a while, the topic was thoroughly avoided by the members, until Changbin sighed.

“Okay. You guys can stop your mind games.”

The others gave him a puzzled look.

“Whaddya mean?” The Australian wondered.

Seo let a small smile show as he passed his hands through his face.

“I really want to see her again.”

[☆ ☆ 💐 ☆ ☆]

So thanks to Chris, the bell in the flower shop rang once again. You were humming a popular song, one that Changbin knew, so instead of approaching you, he wandered through the isles filled with flowers, listening to you as you continued the melody.

His heart beat like crazy when after a while, he opened and closed the door again, pretending he hadn’t been there listening to you.

“Oh, hey, Mystery.”

Your smile made his heart skip a beat. The sundress you were wearing, along with the short brown apron, made him swallow dry.

“Flower girl,” he greeted. You lifted your eyebrows.

“That’s a change of attitude. What can I do for you today?”

Do me. “I was wondering if you could deliver the flower bouquet. Is that possible?” He asked politely.

Your dimples showed when you smiled at him, looking for a notebook in the mess that your study guides made.

“College?” He wondered, staring at your eyes daringly as he pointed to your books.

“Music major, final year,” you grinned. “For your delivery, write the address here, and I’ll deliver it myself,” you played with a strand of hair, quickly moving it behind your ear.

Chanbin’s hands tickled. He wanted to do that too.

“I wouldn’t do it usually, but I figured you wouldn’t enjoy seeing Jerry again.”

He scoffed as he scribbled in the notebook. You cackled.

Suddenly, a loud noise from the workshop startled both of you, who were kind of lost in the other’s eyes.

“Girl, are you still here?” Your mother asked loudly.

You facepalmed, mouthing ‘sorry’ to Changbin, to which he quickly gestured that it was fine.

“You ok, mom?” You replied.

“I’m fine! God, you spend your days here. If it were me, I’d be outside kissing boys!”

Your face turned red in the blink of an eye. “Mom?!” Changbin held back his laughter, covering his mouth with his hand.

She never answered, just chuckled teasingly.

Changbin quickly closed the notebook and gave it to you, his cheeks suddenly almost as red as yours.

“See you soon, I guess?” He smiled, still holding back a loud cackle.

“Stop laughing.” You snickered. “But yeah. See ya… eh…”

“Changbin. Seo Changbin.” He left, smilling like an idiot.

You opened the notebook as you raised the music’s volume again, blushing furiously at your discovery.

Along with the address of what you recognised as some well-known company and the name of who the flowers where for, he had left a note below it.

In case you want to go kiss boys.

Was that… his phone number?

[☆ ☆ 💐 ☆ ☆]

After closing the shop for the day, you stared at the flower bouquet as you were walking down the street, headed to where Changbin had written down. After figuring your way out with the maps app on your phone, you decided that taking your bike would be stupid, as it only was two blocks away.

The mix of colours was striking. At least, it had that. You hoped the person who would receive it would like it, meanings aside, considering you put effort into it.

The company was bigger than you expected. Before you could allow yourself to enter and look around, a security guard stopped you.

“Excuse me, miss, no one is allowed inside without a pass,” he explained.

You smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of your neck. “I was just here to deliver this…? I wasn’t told about this restriction, my client just said that I should deliver it in person.” Yeah, that was a lie, but he didn’t know that. “Would it be ok if I went inside? It’ll be only for a minute.”

He sighed, then shrugged. “I don’t think I’m allowed to let you pass…”

“Oi, Hyung!”

A somewhat tall man —at least taller than you— approached you two.

“You’re Flower Girl, right?” He said, sounding excited, failing to hide it. “She’s with me, don’t worry.”

You entered the company with him, but after that, you stopped and turned to him.

“I appreciate the help, but who are you?”

He smiled. “Yikes. Forgot about that. My name is Chris, it’s nice to meet you. I am close friends with Changbin.”

Your eyes softened, and you smiled. “Oh, I see.” You then looked back at the notebook you carried, the one Changbin had written down in. “Do you know where could I find Park Jin Young’s office?”

Chan looked at you weirdly. “Changbin paid for flowers for the big man? Damn.”

You giggled. “It’s not what it looks like. These flowers all have different meanings, and none of those is a good one.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! For example, the orange carnations?” You pointed out one of the flowers. “Those mean ‘I hate you.’”

Chan snorted and laughed at every meaning of every flower you gave him.

“Chan!”

He turned around to face whoever had called him, seeing Changbin approaching him, looking anxious.

“Chan, she’s fucking downstairs.”

Chris’ stare turned darker. Your heart tightened in your chest.

“Stay with her. I’ll go see if I can talk to security.” Chris managed to say before he rushed downstairs.

“Bin, is everything good?”

He noticed your presence, to which he froze for a second. Time started to feel slow. His spine locked up, and his shoulders stiffened. He even felt his shirt stretch in a sudden motion.

“Flower Girl.” You could feel the sudden state of relaxation he arrived, his figure visibly less tense.

You hesitated on what to do but then chose to act by instinct. Hugging him.

He tensed up again, the sudden act taking him by surprise. You tried stepping back, feeling like you had made him awkward, but he then pulled you in a bear hug.

“Thanks, pretty.” He whispered in your ear. “I needed that.”

“S’ok.” You smiled, a fluttering feeling settling in your stomach

He stepped away, shyness all over him. You smiled at him, but something changed as he looked at someone behind you.

Before you could turn around to see what had been the issue, he got way closer than a second ago, a hand travelling to your cheek, directing your face to meet his.

“I’m going to kiss you,” Seo whispered, just before he pressed his lips against yours.

Your confused self couldn’t manage the sudden emotions that ran through your body. You felt his tongue brush your lips, and you had to make an effort not to drop the flower bouquet when you started matching his pace, feeling him smile in between the kiss.

Concentrated on the man that had a hand on your face and an arm around your waist, you were too into it that you didn’t hear a woman gasp at the end of the corridor, leaving in a rush, crying fake tears.

Don’t get Changbin wrong. Seeing the girl that had tried to manipulate and gaslight him out of his music career just so he could spend his time doing stuff for her, things she took for granted, he figured the only way of making her leave should be a harsh one.

And okaaaay, he might have been dying to kiss you for a while now.

After texting Chan that she was gone, you both eventually arrived in front of the office.

He stayed behind as you entered, approaching a somewhat 50-year-old man with clothes as striking as the bouquet you had in your hands.

“Who sends these?” He questioned, his features suddenly looking younger when he smiled.

“Seo Changbin, sir," you bowed. "Have a good day!”

You couldn’t help but snicker when you closed the door. You found the three known men standing in front of you.

“So? Did he like them?” Han inquired.

“Pfft. I made that bouquet. Of course, he loved them.” You bragged jokingly.

The three of them offered to give you a quick tour, as it wasn’t common to have the opportunity to see the JYP building from the inside. Before you realised, it started pouring outside, heavy rain that looked like it wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

You cursed under your breath. If you even dared to walk under that rain, you would end up swimming your way home, your skirt and your blouse ruined.

3RACHA stood behind you, noticing that you were still at the entrance after a bit. Both Jisung and Chan ushered and pushed Seo to where you were.

“Is everything ok?” He asked, in a tone softer than what you expected.

“It’s just… ugh.” You looked at him, then tsked.

He froze when you got even closer, passing your hands above his shoulders. He had to hold back a shiver when your hands brushed his neck.

“Got no one to do this for you, I guess?” you gently fixed his collar, hands lingering on him more than they should have.

He couldn’t hold back a smile, looking at you differently, in a more intense way.

“I’ll take that as a no.” You ended the topic quickly, your eyes wandering from his eyes, then his lips, and back to his eyes again. You swallowed dry. “I can’t go back home with this rain, but my phone died, so I can't call for a cab or an Uber.”

He looked at you up and down. “Are you in a hurry?”

You stared at him, trying to match the intensity from before. “Not really. I just don’t have anything better to do. Why?”

“I’ll give you a ride.”

Neither Chan nor Han could say that Changbin was the messiest of the three, but he still was messy a generous amount. So when he got into the studio and picked up everything in less than five minutes, they gave him a look.

“Use protection, you bitch.” Jisung teased. Bin ruffled his hair.

“Fuck off," he chuckled. "See you tomorrow, guys.”

He guided you to the parking lot, and you both started driving.

Changbin’s grip on the steering wheel tightened when he noticed how your skirt rode up your knees when you sat down.

“Wait, I didn’t give you my address.” You realised, confused as to where was he going.

“I know.”

You looked around when he entered an underground parking lot, then parked and quickly got up to open your door.

He got really close, unbuckling your seat belt.

“You don’t need to be home tonight, right?” His eyes didn’t leave your lips when he asked.

“No.” You answered, almost in a whisper.

He took your hand as you got out of his car. Changbin walked with you to where the elevators were, hands still linked.

“Where are we?”

He pressed the elevator button and looked at you, even more intensely than later at the studio.

“My place.” He kept looking down at your lips. “I’ll take you home tomorrow.”

[☆ ☆ 💐 ☆ ☆]

You woke up the following morning with a warm body next to you, the feeling making you snuggle closer to Changbin, passing his arm and setting it on your waist.

The sound of a notification made you groan in a low voice, reaching for your clothes and grabbing your phone from your jacket’s pocket. It was your mom.

You didn’t arrive last night. Where are you?

You smiled and replied.

I went to kiss a boy, like you said.

You went back to bed, looking fondly at the man next to you.

A buzz from your phone made you wake up from your daydreaming.

Cheeky girl. Flowers follow?

You laughed. As a florist, your mom had made up the expression one day. When saying “flowers follow”, it meant that there would be a positive outcome of whatever you had on your hands.

You knew that to your mom, in this context, 'flowers follow' meant just one thing.

Yeah, flowers follow.

Yeah. You might have fallen in love with him.

Don’t you dare come back home without that boy. I’ll cook something!

“What’s got you all smiley?” A sleepy Changbin made you giggle even more.

He, on the other side, could definitely get used to a morning like that.

You left your phone on the bedside table, and then got close to him again, tangling your legs in between his. He poked your dimples, and you chuckled.

“You, silly flower boy.”

~Kats, who has the urge to put lil’ details in every fic, like how the flower shop is named Lilac, which means ‘first love’ in flower, or how the flower that Han asks about means 'true love'.

(if you ask me, she was humming Come Inside of My Heart, bc I fucking love that song)

Shadowed Halls

(Chapter 1)

Summary: For a girl who grew up in a small town in west Texas she'd never known an unfriendly face. People would greet each other with sweet smiles and small talk in the morning, always ready to lend a hand to their neighbor. Any would think this an ideal environment for one to grow and mature in, but as she ventures into unknown territory she'll see just how wrong she was and how much more cautious she should've been.

Word Count: 2.5k

I just finished rewatching Strangers From Hell and it left me wanting to write about it, therefore this was born. If you like it please feel free to leave a like and comment your thoughts <3

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As the taxi rolled to a stop in front of the run-down cobblestone complex, you felt the excitement that had been sitting in your stomach fade slightly the longer you took it in. Your thoughts were cut short by the rough, hacking cough let out by the taxi driver before his eyes cut sharply to you in the rearview mirror. Without saying anything, it wasn't hard to get his message with the impatient raising of his brow. Glancing at the meter, you grabbed your wallet and pulled out some cash before handing it to the man with a timid smile. After he finished counting and deposited the money into the cash box, it was clear that any business he thought he had with you was over as he popped the trunk and unlocked the taxi's door locks. Not wanting to cause any more annoyance to the man, you flashed what you hoped came across as a grateful smile and chirped a goodbye before getting out to retrieve your suitcase from the back. Hauling the suitcase out of the trunk pulled a grumble from within your throat, the cab driver didn't seem to want to offer the same help he'd previously given when you'd loaded it in initially. With one final huff, you were able to get it out and place it on the sidewalk before grabbing your duffle bag. Slamming the trunk closed and walking back onto the concrete sidewalk was all the confirmation the cabbie needed as the tires let out a slight screech as he pulled off. The taxi's departure marked a definitive point; there was no turning back now.

Turning to face the building, a feeling of surreal disbelief flowed through you and left a tingly sensation from the tips of your fingers to your toes. The feeling of success was undeniable; making this move was something that you could only dream of doing while working on the farm with your father. Your parents hadn't exactly been thrilled with the idea when you proposed what you thought would be the next step in your young adult life. Hearing that you wanted to move from Texas to New York nearly sent your mother into cardiac arrest. It took weeks of explaining before they realized how serious you were about following through with your plan. While your mom tried to take the calmer approach, your father had no problem telling you how outlandish and ridiculous your idea was. The determination you had to follow through with your proposition eventually wore them down and got them to support their oldest daughter's dream to spread her wings in the "big city." A vibration from your jeans pocket caused you to jolt before reaching to grab your phone and look at the screen as a smile slowly spread across your face. Hitting the accept call button, you leaned onto one leg and raised the phone to your ear while holding the handle of your suitcase securely in the other hand.

"Hey mom, miss me already?" you greeted with a hint of teasing in your voice. Saying goodbye to your mother had taken the longest, so it wasn't a big surprise to you that she'd be the first to call.

"Hi Sugar, I just wanted to check on you. You said you'd call when you landed, but it's been 2 hours since your flight got in. You know I worry," the soft voice with a southern twang that could only belong to her mother rang through your ears.

"I'm sorry mama, you wouldn't believe how plumb crazy the airport over here is. I swear it took me nearly an hour to get my luggage and then another half hour to flag down a cab. I just reached the apartment complex; I still need to go get the keys," you explained to your fretting mom while people rushed by you on the sidewalk, smiling at the few that seemed to cast you inquisitive or annoyed looks.

"I warned you, city folk move like someone's lit a fire in their pants. You'll get the hang of it soon. Remember that papa's already paid the first three months' rent for you. Once you save money from your new job, you'll have to take it over yourself, but everything should be sorted with that---" Your mother's chirping faded out when your attention shifted to a man who walked out of the doors of the complex. He was dressed in a grey suit and held a black briefcase; you couldn't help but feel like he looked like he walked off the pages of those fancy fashion magazines they have at the doctor's office. In your daze, you couldn't help but find it odd that a man that looked as sophisticated as him would be walking out of the worn-down building you'd be calling home for the time being. As if he felt your steady gaze being directed his way, his narrowed gaze cut up to yours from where it'd previously been focused on scrolling through his phone. You held the contact for a second before it sunk in that he'd caught you more or less gawking and you looked to the ground in embarrassment. Manners had always been something that your mother and grandmother had stressed over drilling into your head; leering at someone was sure to get your knuckles rasped with the wooden spatula. When a respectable amount of time seemed to pass, you glanced back up to find the man gone and breathed out a sigh of relief before refocusing back onto your mother.

"I've just finished sending out your stuff; Bobbie down at the shipping office said it should reach you by the end of the week, and then you can get the movers to bring it over to your apartment. Don't forget you have to call them, bunny." She finished before you heard a garbled voice call out for her in the background.

"I'll call you back later tonight, sweetie; your brother needs me. You just get your keys and get settled in, okay? Love you!"

"Love you too, ma," you chirped back with a smile before hearing the telltale click which signaled that she'd hung up the phone.

Sliding your phone back into the safety of your back pocket, you readjusted the slipping strap of your duffle and made your way to the stairs that led to the front door of the apartment complex.

Opening the door and making your way in didn't leave a better impression than simply looking from outside did. The harsh fluorescent lights on the ceiling seemed to buzz from overuse and served mostly to highlight the light dusting of dirt that coated the floors. Straight across from the entrance was an elevator with a handwritten 'out of order' sign taped in the middle. To the right was a set of stairs that presumably would lead to the upper floors, and to the left was the front that you'd been looking for—a faded green door with the word 'office' labeled on it in equally faded gold script.

Breathing a slight sigh of relief at finding the office so easily, you hiked your duffle further up your shoulder and made your way over to the door. Raising your hand up, you rapped your knuckles against the hard wood next to the frosted glass windowpane and waited until you heard a croaked-out voice call to come in before releasing a rough cough.

Turning the handle and stepping inside with a smile, you were greeted with an older man sitting in front of a desk shuffling through a stack of papers with a cigarette hanging from his mouth, seemingly looking for something. He looked to be around your pa's age, his hair more of a receding line with splotches of grey mixed into what once was black. The clicking that signaled the opening of the door caught his attention and caused him to halt his search as his dull grey eyes scanned you from head to toe while a smirk hitched one side of his lips up. The smoke that filled the room burned your lungs the longer you stood in the room, and the slightly cracked window to the left of his desk did little to help.

Flashing the man another smile, you glanced at the nameplate on his desk before beginning. "Hello, Mr. Miller, I'm your new tenant and was told to come here to pick up the keys for my apartment. I just got in today; I'm Y/N L/N."

"Hello, darling, yes, I remember; welcome to Pinecrest Manor. Had I known we'd have a little doll moving in today, I'd have dressed up a bit more for the occasion," he responded playfully while standing to leer at you before walking over to the glass case on the right side of the wall that held numerous pairs of keys. As Mr. Miller sauntered over to the glass case filled with keys, you couldn't help but feel a mixture of discomfort and impatience. The smoke-laden air made your throat itch, and you subtly coughed again, hoping to avoid inhaling more of it.

He continued to talk as he riffled through the keys, his voice raspy and slightly amused. "Ah, you said Y/N L/N, right? Yes, your paperwork is all here. Pinecrest Manor isn't much to look at, but we do our best to keep things in order around here." He chuckled to himself, finding his own comment amusing.

You nodded politely, though you were eager to receive your keys and get settled into your new apartment. Glancing around the office, you noticed the outdated décor and the layer of dust on some of the surfaces. It wasn't exactly the welcoming environment you had hoped for, but it would have to do for now.

After what felt like an eternity of Mr. Miller fumbling through keys, he finally selected a set and turned back to you with a grin. "Here we are, darling," he said, extending the keys towards you. "Apartment 305, up on the third floor. Elevator's out of order, so you'll have to take the stairs. But I'm sure a young thing like yourself won't mind the exercise." He paused before raking his eyes up and down the length of you as you stood to receive the keys. "You need some help finding it; I wouldn't want a sweet girl like you getting lost on your first day here."

You took the keys from where he dangled them teasingly out to you with a polite thank you, managing a small smile despite the persistent discomfort of the smoky room. "I'm sure I'll be able to manage. Thank you, Mr. Miller. I appreciate your help."

Though he looked mildly disappointed by the rebuff, he nodded, his smirk widening a fraction. "Anytime, Y/N. And if you need anything else, you know where to find me."

With that, you turned to leave, eager to escape the stifling office and finally settle into your new home. As you closed the door behind you, you took a deep breath of fresher air in the hallway, relieved to be out of Mr. Miller's smoke-filled domain.

As you made your way down the hallway, the dimly lit corridor of Pinecrest Manor seemed to stretch endlessly. The faint buzz of the fluorescent lights overhead added to the eerie atmosphere, contrasting sharply with the relative brightness of the office you had just left. You glanced down at the keys in your hand, feeling a mix of anticipation and apprehension about what lay ahead.

The worn carpet under your feet creaked softly with each step as you approached the stairwell. With a slight hesitation, you gripped the handrail and began ascending to the third floor. The staircase, much like the rest of the building, showed signs of age and neglect. Faded paint, scuff marks, and occasional cobwebs greeted you as you climbed higher.

Finally reaching the third-floor landing, you navigated your way to apartment 305. The hallway here was eerily quiet, the only sound being your own footsteps and the distant hum of the building's ventilation system. As you approached the faded green door labeled 305, you inserted the key and turned the lock.

The door swung open with a slight creak, revealing your new home. Stepping inside, you found yourself in a modestly sized living room. Sunlight filtered through dusty blinds, casting faint patterns on the worn carpet. The furnishings were basic but functional—a worn couch, a small coffee table, and a TV on a stand in the corner.

Setting your duffle bag down with a thud, you took a moment to survey the space. It wasn't luxurious by any means, but it would serve its purpose as your sanctuary for the foreseeable future. You walked through to the kitchenette, noting the outdated appliances and the flickering fluorescent light above the sink.

The bedroom was similarly modest, with a double bed pushed against one wall and a small dresser nearby. A narrow window offered a view of the neighboring buildings, their own faded facades staring back at you.

As you unpacked your belongings and began to settle in, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that had settled over you since entering Pinecrest Manor. The interaction with the building manager left a sour taste in your mouth, and the first impressions of the building weren't fitting into what you'd pictured the whole flight over. Closing the drawer of the dresser after placing the last of your belongings inside, you glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand and saw the time flash back at you—2:00 PM.

Suddenly, a new feeling rushed through you as you realized where you were and what you'd done. Walking over to the double bed, you sat down and scanned around the room one more time, a new light making everything seem so much better. In contrast to when you'd first walked in, you felt like there was so much possibility and hope to be found in your new apartment. Letting out a squeal of excitement, you fell back onto the mattress and let all the excitement rush through your body in the form of more squealing and tapping of your feet from where they still rested on the floor.

In your excitement, you failed to realize how loud you'd been until you heard three rough bangs coming from the connecting wall with your neighbor which jolted you back to reality. Snapping back up to sit straight on the bed, you went quiet and waited a minute to see if they continued; when they stayed silent, you released a breath of relief before falling back down. As you went back to quietly getting lost in your thoughts about how you'd decorate your new space and fantasizing about the adventures you'd have in this new environment, a ping from your phone sounded before it began to ring with a familiar ringtone that caused a smile to spread across your lips. Sliding the device out from your back pocket, you held it up in front of you to confirm what you already knew you'd see and sat up while swiping to accept the call and holding it up to your ear.

"Hello?"

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

hello everyone! fyi,i will be taking requests and will be writing drabbles,and fics! i will be writing for these groups

nct/wayv

exo

stray kids

pentagon

red velvet

i will be writing angst and fluff ONLY.and dont be shy,you can ask me anything! have a good day 💚

Han💫Best Friends

he's always there for you

likes to steal your food

but doesn't get away with it easily...you always yell at him

and he just keeps laughing

but you can't be too angry with him

because he's just too cute

you find him totally cute when he's tired but tries to hide or deny it

he keeps asking you who you find the most attractive between his memebers

but you never answer

he'll get really annoying

but you just ignore him

why would he ask anyways?

for you it's so obvious that you like Woojin

maybe he's just teasing you

you'll never know

he knows how to trick you

and he'll use it to get what he wants

in the end he really cares about you

and just wants to see you happy

like how you want to see him happy

you won't find a better person as a best friend than him

____________________________

this gif does not belong to me

Literally LOVED IT!

I love the enemies to lovers trope, as always, but the emotions put in the story and the character development is such a YES FOR ME! the ending satified me frfr!

the enemies to lovers project | lee minho

𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚: 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵; 𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘶, 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧

𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣: 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘫𝘪𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 – 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘺, 𝘭𝘦𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘩𝘰, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵. 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: ~18𝘬+

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨

𝘢/𝘯: 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺!!! 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦! 𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘩𝘩 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 >.< 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘪 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵! 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥!

prologue.

“You know I despise you, right?”

“Oh, despise. Such a big word, baby,” Minho drawled with an obnoxious smirk, the one that simultaneously made you want to rip his hair out and kiss those perfectly delectable lips of his, “If it’s any consolation, I abhor your presence as well.”

“Wonderful,” you crossed your legs, a smile creeping onto your face as you leaned backward in your chair, “So why exactly are you here?”

Minho laughed, “The same reason I presume that you’re here for. A hundred dollars to put up with you is a tempting offer.”

Keep reading

Red . It's Red

Lee Minho × Reader

Dom! Lee Minho × sub! Reader

But also soft! Minho. ? Whatever

- You will understand what i mean.

Read it yourself at your own risk :)

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Minho's hips thrust forward carelessly, buried his cock deeper in my hole so that a moan falls from my mouth again. Again and again his name slipped through my lips. I bite my lip to muffle the embarrassing noises I let myself be heard. Maybe for the reason that they just came from me and received no reaction. Even with that slight signal , Minho should have seen the first sign. However, Minho did not respond. I doubted that he was even listening to me. Minho was in his own world for now. As if I were nonexistent for him. Neither me nor my pleasure. Tears form in the corner of my eye as I gasp as soon as his hips quicken. I can't say whether it's because of desperation or the emotional chaos.

My slightly trembling hand finds his bare shoulder. A little weakened, I push him away from me, not very hard but also not imperceptibly, enough to draw his attention, to recognize another sign. Its thrusts were deep and made me see stars in pure colors. He rammed it deep and fast. Almost made me cry out and I have to put the back of my hand against my mouth to dampen it. It was too much for my body. It's all too much for me. But Minho took my cue completely wrong, almost provocatively. The opposite of what I was trying to say. His hand grips my wrist with an iron grip and pushes it forward over my head against the mattress. Has now bent further forward and lets a scream get stuck in my throat as his position changes. He now has his cock deeper in me.

"Red" i mumbled breathlessly beside of soundless sobs.At first he didn't hear. With quick breaths he kept ramming his cock against my hole as I lay under him with my eyes half open. No matter how I tried to pull him closer to me, he wouldn't let it. ,,Minho. Please. Baby"my voice weaker than ever ,,Slow down. Please just slow down. Minho!" I try to speak stricter but my moans slipping sinfull from my lips. But he couldn't hear my anyway. Minho only focuses on my pussy which is getting wetter by time. So he can now thrust into me more easily and smoothly.

it wasn't brutal. but it hurts. Sometimes it did, but the pain was always tempting. But right now it outweighed the pleasure.

"Red" it was unhearbly. The words were just mumlings under my breath. ,,Red.Red.Red" i sob.

Barely audible. Nothing that you could not overhear under a moan. but Minho did. Though weak, the words had an enormous effect on him. His body tensed. His hips stopped abruptly trusting against my skim, his dick burring deep inside of me without moving a single bit, let me breath out the hot air.

Not sure if he misheard or not. But a cold shiver runs down his body as soon as he hears the faint words slip from my lips. And suddenly he assumed a completely different expression. There was fear in his eyes that he might have seriously hurt me. Pain that passes over pleasure. Or much worse. He made me feel inferior and unloved, like I was just a toy for his own desires. Unfortunately, both cases have surfaced once. And in both cases, Minho made sure that they never repeat themselves. Hell, it took months for him to treat me roughly in bed again. And even then, paying attention to every move i made, looking for signs that would show him he was overdoing it. And i still remember the look on his eyes, which were soaked in fear, shame and remorse. And the same eyes are now staring down at me.

,,What did you say?" He wants to know, still breathless from the long kisses before. Or from slight Panic. But i wasn't sure.

I stayed in silence.

,,(y/n)" His voice more demanding now. He wants a answer but i could'nt. I didn't want to. Damn safe word. Why it needed to slip thru my lips? If I let it stand, maybe he will think he has misheard and then move on? but is that really what i want? His cold eyes on my body while he fucks inside me? His cold words who let me feeling im a dumb slut? His harsh touches who don't give me even a slight feeling of warmth. It would be a lie to say that I didn't love Minho's rough side. My body reacted on his own with excitement and butterflies in my stomach as soon as he treats me like his bad kitten.

And when Minho came home from dance training today with an annoyed expression and angry physique, I was able to figure out how it will end today. I didn't complain. I almost never did. I was his good girl.

But today. Today I also had an extremely stressful day at work. Everything could'nt go worser for me and at the end of the day I was the one to get blamed for every mistake that happend today. I spend the rest of my day upset lying in my bed and waiting for the love of my life to coming home.It was a shitty day. So the joy of finally holding Minho in my arms again was all stronger than ever. I wanted him close to me, be able to kiss him. Touching and telling him what I want him to do to me. Today, however, the table turned differently. For me. Because Minho was today in control to let everything out on me. Fuck his stressfull day out of his mind. His eyes cold and indifferent, as if he were bored with me. No matter what I did or how I tried my best to look good in front of him, he made me feel like I hadn't tried it well enough. and worst of all, he didn't say a word during the whole time and that made it all feel even more wrong. Minho's passion in bed is dirty talk. He could do it better than anyone i knew.

His words were soaked in sin, so sardonic and playful at the same time. Otherwise he can never stop talking. Could do this for hours. it felt so strange when he kept quiet. so..damn...wrong.

But now i wish at the same time that he just stay quit or just let me be. Instead of burning holes with his deep eyes on my face. He wants that i repeat myself but i didn't have the appility to do so. Not again. But Minho wants to know and wait till i finally speak up. ,,Minho-" I say his name with a pout, want to get rid of the uncomfortable, tense mood. Minho was not influenced by me, however, "(Y / n)" his voice is now more certain. ,, i want you to repeat what you just said" but i shake my head.

"I'm sorry", my voice trembles slightly, shaking the situation away. "Just forget what i say, okay?" I suggest and then ask, "Please just keep going.Please-"

The realization that he hadn't misheard hit him right in the face. He breathes in the air which his feelings had squeezed out as he let his gaze fall away from me.

Not believing what he hears, he takes the grip from my wrist and shakes his head slightly. My words ricochet off him. "Shit" he murmurs, hissing under breath and is out of my hole in one movement. "Minho-" I try to grab his arm and pull him back to me, but he shakes it away.

,,No" he interrupt me strictly like i thought he will. There was no way that Minho would let it slide now.

..............

My body is wrapped around the warm white blanket as my tears slowly dry, but don't go away completely. I've calmed down in the meantime where Minho nervously strokes his hair. Sit at the corner of our bed with head turned away from me and looked a little lowered. I take a couple of sips from the water bottle that Minho brought me before my eyes land on him. Closing the bottle, his flat voice takes up the floor without looking at me,,I'll get you towels. And then I'll clean the mess , so you can go to bed- "he says in a broken voice, takes an excuse to stay away from me. Wants to give me my distance, because He's sure that i need it now.Only that I don't. Certain sure that as soon as he steps out of the door, he will blame himself.

Minho wants to get up but my hand around his arm is pulling him back to bed. His eyebrows are slightly pressed together as he meets my eyes. Confused whether I am still missing something or something still hurts me. But before he can ask I'll interfere. ,,Stay here" putting my hand on his upper arm. But he shakes slightly his head ,,Later, okay?" he speaks softly. ,,Now I'll get the things for you. Take a rest,baby" He takes my hand from his arm, squeezes it gently and then wants to get up. But his guilty expression didn't change for a bit. However, I stop him again. Pull him down to me whereupon a deep breath leaves his lips. He almost falls on me but crash instead against the wood materiall, hold himself against the bed ,, (y / n) "he mumbles gently, patiently, but not sure if it was the best for now.

,,I'm sorry " I had my arms wrapped around his neck and hugged him. When he shakes his head again,,Stop apologizing. I should have noticed instead of fucking you. I should have noticed that you are in pain and far from comfort. God Damn" in the meantime he has let me take hold of him. He lands on his knees on the bed as he rubs his eyes. Stunned and still not recovering from the event that took place half an hour ago. He allows me to hold him in my arms as he curses and shares his thoughts with me, "I'm really stupid. I'm such a stupid asshole. I should have noticed. Even before you say the safe word" ,,Minho-"I tried to get my words through but he just shakes his head and leans back, away from my touch.

The strands of his hair hang down over his forehead. ,, No, (y / n). When do you finally start to set your limits with me instead of always justifying my actions? "He didnt even look at me just like he would speak to himself instead of me. ,,When do you finally-",,Because i know you "i let him know and look right thru his eyes that stare back at me as soon as the words slip thru my lips,, I trust you because i know you. I justify your actions because I know them well as well as the reasons why you cause them.'' I silence him, which is why I keep talking. Lean forward a little and slide my fingertips over his cheek. Hold his face with my hand. ,,You didn't know and that's why you didn't stop. Should you have known it better? Well,..yes, maybe that. But - "I gently run my fingertip over his lips. His breath touch my finger.,,At that moment, I'm pretty sure, then you would have stopped." His lips were rougher than usual from all the nibbling on them. But the need to press mine against his was enormous. No matter how rough they may be. ,,And you did" I make it clear for him and look up from his lips to his eyes, which analyze my movement. He takes his time to think about my words till i ask in between the short silence. ,,Okay?" And then Fortunately, he start nodding slowly.,,Okay", he breathes back before I pull him into a tender kiss. He gently returns the kiss with just light pressure.

His tongue runs over my lower lip, asks for no admission but occasionally to get a taste of them. His lips were heavenly to kiss and so juicy against mine, despite their roughness, they were precious.

Wrapping my hands around his neck again, I hug him again when he finally relaxes. The hug returns by snuggling closer to me. Stroking Minho's soft hair, the tension is finally released from him and his shoulders hang down.

"I'm sorry," he whispers softly against the crook of my neck as I nod like i accept his apology. My arms are still around his neck. Soak up Minho's warmth and breathe in his sweet scent. Sigh, relieved and satisfied. I didn't want anything other than him hold in my arms. Minho on the other side wants nothing else than to show me how sorry he is and how much he is valued by me.

I almost decay in my constructive calm before a whimper leaves my lips as his hand touches my clit. And drives over my pussy. His hands were cold but his touches were warm. "I had such a stressful day today and I couldn't think of anything better,..." his lips run along the crook of my neck as he let his words out. Just touch my skin lightly instead of kissing it as if he had to breath all about me in first. From the outside then inwards.

,,..Than to let it all down on you. Haven't even thought of asking how your day was. Was it very bad today?" His voice just a wispher.,,Did you miss me a lot, mhmmm? "He snuggles into my neck like a cat. It would be cute if it weren't for his fingers on my pussy and the rough voice that is now speaking thru his mouth.

,, Yes, i missed you so much." I breath out as i hold him still close to me ,,Just wanted to hold you and be loved by you ",, loved by me? "He asked back, runs his lips over my neck. His fingers too. Move down and open my entrance a crack. His middle finger easily sticks in, to check the hot water. As I draw in air as my wetness flows out and slides over his finger. A calm, contented sound trembles slightly against his vocal cords.

,,You wanted to be loved by me" he chuckles slightly, but not very amused. ,,And what i did instead?" His deep voice cracks on the end, waiting for an answer. But i know i wasn't the one who should answer the question.,, Roughly trusting in you instead of comforting you like you wanted. I fucked you till you couldn't breath anymore-" his choice of words made me squeeze my thighs a little.

,,Im so damn-" his finger slipped thru my entrace suddenly, lets out a loud whine from my lips. As he put sloppy kisses on the crack of my neck. ,,-Sorry, baby" He applies pressure to my hole with another finger as he pumps the first one in and out, before slipping both of them inside. Let my mind going almost blank.

,,So sorry for my princess" he wispered while his fingers keep digging inside me. He wasn't looking for speed, but for enough pressure and depth from his fingers so that I perceive every movement intensely. Until it was the only thing I could think of right now.

,,Minho "I whimpered his name again and again. Could'nt let other words slipped past my lips. Minho's other hand strokes my hair to the side, holding the hairpiece lightly before his hand leans on my neck. Hold me tight as his lips wander over my collarbone to my neck. He kissed the spots, licked them before gently tucking his teeth in.

"Minho.Please-just .." I try to built a correct human sentence when he already interrupts me with a drawn out. ,,Ssshh. I know''. Kissing my skin along my neck. Going my neck up so that I tilt my head slightly to one side, lift my head so that he has more space before he builts himself a lift up as soon as he reach the end of my Neck which he kissed upwards. Breath hot air against my lips. ,,I know"

His weight over me Let me fall back on the bed with one movement. The blanket slips from my shoulders, doesn't wrap anything around my body anymore. In the new position, Minho's fingers now went deeper than before. Make me arch my back as i let a loud moan past my lips. Immediately followed by the third finger that penetrates my entrance and moves with the others in a passionate rhythm. ,,Shit, Minho" i moaned out and get a chuckle out from him as he still leans over me.

He has his arm under the back of my head as support and his body lies diagonally to the side of me. His knees close enough between my legs. His hungry, watchful eyes fixed directly on me as he focuses on every, single move i make. At the sight of me his lips would love to slide deep groans past them but he swallows them down. Fully focused on me.

My eyes were closed from that point on as I took each one of his touches as if they were my fresh new breath that made me live this moment. I could feel him close to me. He was so looked at me. His mind was here with me, his body pressed against mine, but still that wasn't enough. I needed more. No matter how greedy that may sound. I needed him much closer than that.

"Minho" I claw at his shoulder, pull him closer to me, bring a sardistic smile out of the boy's lips. But that was not enough. I needed him closer. "Min. Please. I.. can't...-"

,,I know, princess. I want you closer too" he reads my mind and his fingers stopped abruptly. Let me moan briefly before he moves. His now wet fingers slide gently over my cheek as he sits upright so his legs are between my thighs and his upper body hovers over mine. His hands lift my legs up at a better angle with his arms wrapping around my thighs. And I can only let my head fall back with excitement as his cock now presses very close against my skin.

His fingertips fall on my skin, their tracks slide down as if they were kissing every part their cross. So gently and carefull. But at the same time were his touches so hot. Minho really couldn't take his eyes off my body, whether he tried or not. His eyes scanned every curve to the smallest detail which he laid his eyes on or could reach with his Fingertips who are tickling against my sensitive skin. Took all of me.

His stare intimidates me and makes me flush at the same time. and in spite of that I didn’t stand still, couldn't lay here impatiently and with losing patience. I wanted to feel his hands on me.

,,Please.Minho" i begged ,,Just do something. I need you" he silence me as he press his lips against mine. meet my eyes, which look at him gently and he returns the look even more tenderly.

,,You don't have to beg for it "he let his lips fly across my cheek, close his eyes shortly before open them again and stare right back at mine again. Minho had always have the most beautiful eyes that I have ever get caught to. They captured everything that would be found in the most breathtaking places on the whole planet. More beautiful than the most beautiful, brightest starry sky. They made shooting stars appear next to them. He had a whole starry sky in them and at the same time they were blank black. The stars invisible to find into them, replaced with his feelings, which he whispers to me with just one look. I could let all the emotions he wants me to know about, see with just one look right inside of him. "You deserve this all" his lips kiss his way to my lower eyes up to my ear while his fingers brush my neck "All that and so much more," he whispers against my lips and his eyes stare again in mine.

His fingers find my core again. Brushes his fingers over it and smears them with my liquid as he lets out a groan. The moisture between my legs almost drips down my inner thighs. I was so fucking wet for him. With the other hand he holds my thigh, presses the body part tighter as he looks up at me. His eyes were soaked with lust but there was also gentleness and patience in them. But there was much more caution when he checked my face for signs that would show him in the smallest of sight that everything is maybe going too fast for me.

,,Color?"he asks me as I lie under him with an irregular, excited heartbeat and have to detach myself from the sight of his dark, beautiful eyes, which are slightly covered by his hair, in order to meet his eyes directly. Instead of just part of his face.,,Green" I let him know, before close my eyes annoyed when he doesn't move and doesn't look convinced.,,Baby, I'm really okay" I emphasize the words as believably as possible as i look up to him. ,,im pretty fine actually,you know?" I joke around and bring an amused smile out of minho's lips. before it breaks again.

It's true. I couldn't feel better at the moment. Although the only thing I lack is the patience here to finally feel him inside of me. ,,So fucking please."slide my fingers through his hair and dragged him down a bit.,,Do something." Minho took a few seconds to think about it before he believes my words and turns his head slightly to press a tender kiss on my forearm ., Green sounds like a pretty good color. I can work with it. "His voice sounds playful now, lets a smile cross my lips.

Minho took his time with me. Even before he push his dick inside of me, he was waiting patiently for me until I gave him a signal to be able to continue. And even then, Minho hesitated.

Pressed feathery kisses against my thigh. Holds my leg over his shoulder as he taste my skin. "God, you have such soft skin," he compliments me ,,and so damn beautiful legs. Holy shit" he breaths out as he find a hold on my leg and stares shamelessly . Kissing and biting the skin softly when I just whimpered impatiently in response. I finally want to have him inside of me. ,,Minho" I press out, at the edge of crying, whereupon he looks down at me with an eyebrow raised. Isn't finish to prove his love for my legs. ,,Please. Minho"my half opened eyes burn thru his deep ones.,,Fuck me, Minho. I want you inside of me" Im used to talk like that to get what i want, just how he likes it. And Minho has to hold back a growl at the sight. I looked too delicious. He'd like to pounce on me and stick his cock in but he'll remember what he's doing this for. ' Love me 'those were my words, so he followed my wish.

Minho's thrusts weren't quick as they usually were. But even deeper than before, which is why I couldn't silence my mouth at all. This time he hit every right angle so that I not only saw stars but pure fireworks. I swam in my pleasure. I only heard his voice whispering and talking in the edge. And now I had again the man in front of me, who could whisper with his sharp tongue at the same time the thrilling words that I love so much. Holy crap, he drives me fucking crazy.

And it got worse and harder to keep my sounds to the minimum when he suddenly hit a spot which drive me to let a high, embarrassing sound fall out of my mouth. ,, i found it "he grins as my mouth pouts open and i just look more fucked up than before. As soon as he found it, he hit the right spot over and over with every push.

He makes me feel things that I would never have believed existed. I would never have guessed that they existed. But Minho did that over and over again, just as he always did. And that without even trying.

And just from Minho's fixed eyes, which lay on me and look at each of my movements with pure fascination, I am sure that I have the same effect on him as he has on me.

---------------------------------------

Oh my holy liminho. I can't believe that i finally post something but guess what,..... i did hihihuuuu.

I hope you enjoy my story. I really tried to write it good as possible. Also, i hope my english doesnt suck here since it's not my best language.

Whatever. Enjoy and see you next time.

Byoo

Im nothing compared to you but I'll keep my eyes closed

Sad! Minho × reader / Angst

From strangers to lovers again

Part I : I'm nothing compared to you...

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Minho is sitting on the bar stool with sagging shoulders as he tiredly runs his hand over half his face. The bartender in front of him refills his round glass, which Minhos immediately grabs and presses to his lips. His head filled as if it was going to fall to the side at any moment and land on the ground. But even then he would just lie limp there and probably wouldn't have the strength to pull himself up again.

It hurts too much for a moment. And even if it was due to his destroyed mental situation, it spreads physically to him and he drinks the bitter stuff down to escape that even faster. Hangs his head while the neon purple light shines through the unfilled bar. It was a fancy place. One and another of the other guest were playing billiards behind him, laughing while a group of girls sitting a few chairs further beside him, chatting away. But Minho didn't care about these people when he let the smoke out and drooped his head that became heavier after time. Close shortly his eyes before starring at the counter in front of him. Let his thought flowing across his mind which were more then cruel. Unendureable.

With the lighted cigarette on his lips again, he barely catches a pair of eyes that came from one of the women who glanced at him, laughing softly as she checked him off. The other women probably try to persuade their friend to speak to him. They were possibly older than him. Dressed more elegantly in contrast to his torn trousers and his large black jacket. It wasn't clear what they wanted from someone like him. However, for no important moment did Minho have his attention on her. Perhaps his eyes were briefly in their direction without being aware of it. Minho's mind was at the same time far away but still with him to let him hold on to the emotions he wants to get rid of. There was no room for the rest of the shit.

The pain was too buried in him, flowing into his thoughts. Staring at an empty space and pulling on the cigarette he is holding between his fingers. The smoke quickly leaves his mouth, flying upwards as his head starts to ache and his body is numb from the heavy alcohol. Everything revolves in him and his environment feels too spurious. He couldn't stay here longer.

The beautiful woman with the elegant dress who is about to ask him is leaning towards him at the moment when he is already getting up drunk. Showing her just the cold shoulder and only keeping his eyes on the way to the bathroom. The girl turns back disappointed to her friends, and like always begins to talking bad about him ,,Fucking fuckboy".

With his shoulders hanging, he walks along the cold, lighted hallway in a daze. Everything revolves around him and he felt sick. He was even worse off than before and the feelings he had tried to drink away were only intensified by the alcohol. He only felt the pain more intensely. As if it were the only thing he is forced to be bound to. He couldn't shake the feeling of sadness and despair away. Had no idea how to do to get rid of it.

For a moment he lost control over his body. Catches himself against the wall with his hand to prevent him from falling to the cold floor. He takes with hazy mind his time before Arriving at the small open bathroom after turning. With his head hanging, he holds on to the sink with both hands spreading out. Lifts his gaze to look at himself in the mirror and only stares at his reflection with cloudy eyes.

He looked the way he felt too. Shitty and miserable. Turning on the water, only the neon red lights that shone from the bar illuminate him. Holding his fingers down for a moment, he feels the cold water flowing against his skin, but the feeling was just numb. It's like his mind is completely somewhere else than where his body is. And he could already guess where it had disapears. to her. It was with her. Of course.

God, the thought of her was enough to desperately run his wet fingers over his face before he straightened up again. Holding a new cigarette to his lips and burn it up with the broken red lighter that belonged to her. The toxic nicotine took in and breath in his body before he breathed out the amount of smoke. His movements too hasty than they usually were. He just want to diseapear. He want all of this shitty feelings to diseapear.

Did she feel the same? So damn miserable and broken like she could die any minute? How long did she have to deal with the feelings alone before she finally revealed it to him that day and drew the line? He let the line draw without stopping her at all. Without assurance that day. That damn day. Minho's head shook as the conversation reappeared in his head.

,,I'm just saying that I feel lonely here without you, Minho. I'm done going to bed alone every damn day and then waking up alone again, "I explain to him, looking for the conversation when he comes back from his quick shower. It's something after midnight and not even an hour since he left his Dance practice to come home. It was the earliest time to catch him although I should be glad he showed up at all. There were days when he didn't come home to me for days. And when he did then he left so early before I could even woke up. Coming So late that I was already asleep. There were days when I hardly heard from him for days.

,, Really, (y/n)? Isn't that getting old? Even for you "He doesn't take me seriously. Standing at the counter in the kitchen, pours water from the water jug. Has the gray towel hanging over his shoulder. His hair is still wet and he wore his sleeping clothes on his body. Of course, he wants to go to bed going instead of spending time with me. We were both tired at the end of the day. Minho maybe even more than me because of his strict schedule, but still I couldn't break the hope that he would take our little time together as a priority. Is that too selfish from me to ask?

His posture alone shows how tired he is from the hard work today. His only wish just to go to bed. And for a moment I open my mouth to tell him that it's okay and we can forget it for today. He can then go to bed to get his desired sleep. It was my love for him that wanted to give in and let him in pieces. But the love for myself that kept me from saying the words. No, I couldn't go on like that anymore.

,,Minho. I can't- "

,,then you should never have gotten involved with me "he breaks through my sentence, leaving me speechless with surprise. He let the words slide over his lips as easily as if he's not interessed to know how much i suffer. As if it was my fault so I have to deal with this on my own."If you can't stand it," he has finished filling the glass, but it doesn't look like he's still drinking it. "Then you don't have to stay and suffer any longer, do you?" They were words that I hadn't expected and that I wasn't prepared for. Was that what I got when I opened up my feelings to my lover? No, that was- "What?" I ask dryly, my voice breaks at the end, "What did you say?" But Minho stares coldly at me. ,,You understood me"

Leave or stay. So it was that easy for him.

He knows it. He knows that he should never say these words. Even in that moment he knew.But they left his lips without even considering the effect. How much he now wished that he could only take the words back. Minho turns around from the mirror with weak movements and steps out of the bathroom of the bar. God, he couldn't do that anymore. The conversation repeats itself over and over again in his head. It didn't matter how hard he tried to swallow it, her voice was sticking through his head.

"Is it that easy for you?" I throw reproachfully and incredulously into the room. Can't believe how he doesn't care about all of this.

,,What else can I say about it?" His voice as if it would be from a stranger, ,,You clearly don't love me enough to accept me." He’s accusing me now, moves away from the counter. Begin to doubts me whereupon I laugh sarcastically out of frustration. "Right?" He pulls on when I fire back, "This is ridiculous" looking at him again. However, he seriously pointed at me with piercing eyes: "You didn't deny it", "Because it's not about that" I try to take up my point of view again, which Minho doesn't allow a bit. 

,,Of course, it's about something like that. You act selfish. I should already be in bed instead you decided to stress me out with such topics. Do you even think of me for a moment? "

,,I fucking do, Minho" I defend myself against his accusation, "I always think of you. You have always been my top priority." I let him know, now not as aggressive as the times before. Try again to explain him how important this topic is for me. And for a moment minho stands still and just listened. For a moment,,but I also want to be yours, as I always have been. ". And with that minhos discontent built up again ,,Oh god not again," he sighs out loud, as if he couldn't hear this shit anymore. Driving his hands across his face in frustration as he turns away from me.

Walking back down the long, narrow corridor, he can already see the counter and his seat again, where the alcohol is still ready for him. Another attempt to numb the pain. It was a damn vicious circle and he was well aware of it. Neither alcohol nor nicotine could rid him of what was chaining him.

His eyes move disinterestedly to the group of women who are looking bitter and arrogant at him. Minho clicks his tongue in annoyance as he ignores them. Looking away tiredly and not paying attention to those around him. Better said, is not capable of it.

“Minho, I feel really broken. It's hell if you don't sleep next to me "I try to swallow a sob. Our voice are loud enough so that anyone who walks thru the hallyway could defiently hear us.

"Have you ever thought that you could be the reason why I am not coming home" he replies bitterly. Defends himself with self-protective attitude and an uplifting anger. Comes in my direction, but he's still too far away from me. As if he would can't stand to be near me. "I can't stand to be next to you anymore."

That was a lie. That was such a shameless, gross lie back then. All he wanted was to be around her. He loved her so much. He still does, but anyway, no matter what he tried, it wasn't good enough. He should have tried more. But he didn't even have to do that. He should have just explained how hard he was trying instead of letting off his frustration on her. She would have understood, just as she always did before.

Minho's shoulder bangs hard against another pair whereupon he stumbles and the other guy also trip slightly. Minho couldn't care less. ,,Dude, watch the fuck out" the stranger curse at Minho, who just wanted to continue his way with lowered eyes till this words cross his ears. He definitely blamed the alcohol in his blood for his impulsive reaction otherwise he would have ignored him as usual.

"Sometimes you're really a terrible person" I let him know with a painful expression but fiery eyes.

Minho looks at him with blank dead eyes, annoyed. ,,You popped into me, you fucker" he lets the other person look irritably at him. "How was that?" The stranger takes a menacing step towards Minho, who returns his gaze unimpressed. ,,You’re not able to walk and now you’re mute too?". His hands find Minho's collar which he tugs angrily at. Minho's disinterested expression only made him more racy. "Take care of your dirty mouth, you son of a bitch"

But before either of them can react, his friend interferes and pulls his friend back by the shoulders. So that he loses the hold of Minho a little. “Let the shit with him get away from you. We're not here to fight, "he says to him, noting that Minho is in a drunken, bad mentall shape. While his friend only takes his eyes off Minho as soon as he has been convinced. He pushes away from Minho endlessly, wanting to turn away.

,,Yes, of course. It's me again. "he fires back bitterly, ignoring the pain hiding behind my voice. He was just as hurt as I was on this point. But his ego was too strong to swallow the next words. ,,And that's the reason why i wish we would be finally fucking done. "his words hit me more than they should. They made my heart beat in pain and literally crushed it. And that was the point where I finally had enough. "Fuck you, Minho"

,,Fuck you, man,“´the guy throws those last  words at him, but the younger one isn't finished with him yet. Minho's tight grip turns him quickly and  grabs him by the collar. His eyes are almost Burning. It wasn’t the smartest thing to do by someone drunk who was barely able to stand on his own feet. But Minho couldn't help himself.. "You fucking bumped into me and then blame me for it. And you think you can just go now?" Minho asks in an uplifting voice, looking straight into his eyes. it was really stupid. God, he know it himself. His grip on the next words tighten ,,You should watch your way, son of a bitch" and minho's fist hits his face. With strength so that the other stumbles, hisses in pain and holds his burning cheek. And there was the Damage already made. It doesn't take a second before the guy pushes Minho and hits him across the face, who's feeling numb but is aware of the pain.

,, Now you have the nerve to say such things, but who was there when the self-doubt took over you and you saw no other way out than to give up dancing-” ,,Better hold back your next words, (y/n)” my first warning that didn’t stop my next words to slide out of my mouth.

Minho hits painfully the Ground, touches the beaten spot that hurts like shit. Fuck him off. He can feel the pair of eyes from the guy, who receives a curse from his friend , on him without even looking up. ,,it’s enough now” his friend growls angrily. Rougly pull his friend away while minho’s chest rises and falls as he breathes heavily. 

,,You were at the Ground, Minho. You were alone and lonely. Nobody was there. How even could they? You pushed everyone away from you and let no one come near you. And everything got worse- ”my voice breaks, but every word is audible. Minho heard every single word clearly. ,,(Y / N), one more word-”my eyes watering from that Point on.

Minho gets off the floor. With his brow furrowed together, he holds himself straight till he feel the Ground under his feet again. Before Walking towards the guy who turn his back again towards him. “Apologize, you wanker” His foot bangs against his back, hits it hard so that the victim swings forward. With the weight falls on the decoration table and crush to the Ground. The things fall on top of him.

 “When you got kicked out before your debut because you weren't good enough. Your doubts almost eaten you up and you were down. Always called me because you didn't- "" Enough- "his body trembles with rage as I bring his worst memory back to life I couldn't have hurt him more painfully than with the words I roll over my mouth. He warned me but we both know I crossed the line a long time ago.Just how he did.

Now the other has lost his patience not only with his friend but also with Minho. Grab him by the collar before throw a Punch at his face.That spark an argument. Minho struck where he had to believe that it was a human like-looking being and took just as much as he gives. But the blows that fell on him were only vague given his condition. The pain was there, the insults and provocations that slide over his lips, did not let his opponent be friendly with him. Minho defended himself but ...

,,because you wasn't able Sleep from fear and sadness. I had to call chan because you were no longer able to-”

Minho hit the second one enough so that he would hit the wall but the another one catch minho at that short time and pulled him to the ground. Built himself over him and hit the younger one.

A loud noise makes me flinch and my words stand unspoken in the room, but I've said enough. Enough that Minho’s body shakes with anger and the pain is clearly visible in his face. The broken vase now lies on the floor between us. The shattered pieces spread across the floor so that we can't find a way to each other. The flowers he bought for me two weeks ago lay lifeless on the whole mess. It was damn ironic how much the picture in front of us reflected our relationship just at one glance.

Minho clenched his teeth as he tried to slam the guy away from him, hissing and cursing. He tasted blood, but from that point on he didn't care. It was relief and just too heavenly to feel something different from the feeling that had been dragging its way into his chest for many weeks and months. Covering one pain with another. Even if it was only for a Moment.

,, Do you even know what you're saying? "I ask trembling, the tears are already rolling down my cheeks as I claw my hands on the fabric of my sweater. ,, oh i fucking do." He spilled back, still angry at me. "If I always have to listen to this shit from you when I come home, then I will never enter this house again" "Fine. Then don't do it, you asshole" I spit back.

Minho hears footsteps approaching them from nearby before the next moment the weight that was on him was torn away. Minho still hears the racy words from the guy who is being prevented by guests and his friend from attacking Minho again. At the same moment he is pulled from the ground by the plump bartender. His grip is around the drunken man so he won't do any more stupid things. As if he would.

Minho had enough for the night and saw no reason to deal with this shit any further. His head throbbed, his body strained from the whole fight. He didn't want to be here anymore. Not with the feeling in his chest that made him feel so small. Minho pulls himself away from the grip of the older man, straightening his jacket and after one last dead glance at the people around him, he moves away from them and walks purposefully towards the exit.

That night the most disgusting, ruthless words that could have spoken left our mouths. We hurt each other until we take advantage of each other's weak points. In the midst of the chaos, we forgot the reason for the argument that started. But neither of us decided to take back the cruel spoken words. We both knew that even then, the words could no longer be taken back. Not with the damage that has been done. It was too late.

Minho walks across the empty asphal.Stressed, grabs his thick hair with his head hanging down. God. Groaning inwardly, he lets himself fall against the already closed store. His back hits the metallic material as he leans his head back against the cold metal.

Minho is now finally fed up with all of this. Can't stand it in the same room with me anymore and turns his back on me to walk towards the exit, ,,Where do you think you are going? " I ask him irritably as I notice his next move. Nothing new to what I'm not used to at Minho. But just to accepting that; i was done with it. ,,Wherever. Just get away from here, ”he replies bitterly, no longer looking back at me. 

And with my next words I make him hold still in his next movements.

"If you walk out of this door now, then we're over" my voice shudders with despair and anger. My eyes bore on his back, which been turn into my direction. His chest still moving quickly with anger. And i couldn't see his face now but i know, that he was so tired like me to that point. I didn't want the words to slip out of my lips, but as much as I knew that I was putting him in such a desperate situation, I knew that I had reached my limit with this too.

I prayed that he would turn around. That he would try to understand me and we could try to talk this out. Going to bed peacefully together, like the last time,which was weeks ago. Blame on his busy schedule. I had too much faith in this relationship. Believed that we could climb every hurdle together but in the end ...

Cars are driving the road past him. Most of them on their way to coming home and let themselves fall on the bed to get the sleep they look Forward to. Maybe even if they were lucky enough, they'll find themselves in the arms of a loved one tonight. But Minho had none of it. No more. Not a place to call home. Neither a lover who he can call his and into whose arms he could fall. He spent his nights lying wide awake with the tormenting thoughts that circled through his head and did not let him get a little bit of sleep. And it was all his fault.

Without looking back again, the door slams loudly behind Minho, who has made his decision after a moment's hesitation. As soon as he's gone, I feel like the world around me suddenly falls apart. Collapses on me and I slowly slide to the ground. The tears that had dried broke out again and rolled down my cheek. The only thing that echoed through the room was my loud crying and the sound of me gasping for breath. it was quiet for a while before an meow sounds and I look to the side to see our, rather Minho's cat looking at me with worried and curious eyes. I tried to keep my crying silent but I couldn't hold it back. and it only got worse when I see Soonie's leg bleeding. She must have injured herself on the broken pieces on the floor. Minhos and my chaos didn't just bleed us. Literally. If Minho could see her now. Quickly picking up Soonie, I push back the more tears that want to come up. I hug her tightly, hold her against my chest and carry her to the bathroom to take care of her. Cleaning up the wound and simplify her healing process. I just wish there was something that could heal my pain.

Minho didn't think long when he took his cell phone out of his pocket and entered the month untouched number that he wanted to call several times. But he always decided against it. He leans his head back, that was pounding, closes his eyes while holding the receiver to his ear. It beeps on the other line. Once. Twice. For seconds. Too long. Minho gets this only in a hazy way anyway. It wasn't about fact whether she will pick up or not. It was all about just saying the words he was dying to get rid of.

He pushes himself off the wall as he took his time. His head needs time to get the words out of his mouth. It was all about time. "Hey" he wanted to let out the first words willfully but nothing came of it. His voice was barely louder than a whisper and it didn't sound really gentle either. ,,Honestly, I knew you could be like this. You can be pretty cruel, "he says with a broken voice before he smiles slightly sarcastically with despair," All this shit driving me fucking mad. And I have the feeling that I'm going crazy ”he bites his lower lip and unintentionally tears it open, which is why it bleeds easily. Minho doesn't care.

“I wish i would have a Person now. Someone who holds me tight and heals me from this pain" he pours out, grimacing in pain. “A-And i-God.I want you back. I n-need you, you know? I am nothing compared to you. Nothing without you ”he says freely, taking a long time to leave the sentences out. His head is not working smoothly and yet his words couldn't be truer. God, if he could he would tell her all these words right here now. But that should be enough to burden him a Little less. Even if in small quantities.

"So could you please" he asks softly into the receiver, "be that person again?"

There is silence as he exhales and stays still. This should be enough for now. He better stop before Breaking completly Tonight.

He takes the receiver from his ear and tries to break off the mailbox with half-closed eyes.

But his limbs freeze and his heart stops with his movements as he looks down at the display.

The call has already been picked up. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay but I don’t normally like long fics but a fallen angel trope I had too, and it DID NOT DISAPPOINT!

Man I love this so so much, literally felt like it was happening around me!

Ahh I’m obsessed 🥲🥺

h.hj. — descent to hell.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x gn reader, former bang chan x gn reader genre: fallen angel au, angst, fluff, strangers to lovers au warnings: blood, injuries, cheating, food, slight themes of jealousy, mild swearing summary: someone like minho would have told you to keep your distance from hyunjin; that he is something inhumane— dangerous and flammable. but you are already waist-deep in those dark pools of liquid glass that he has for eyes. length: oneshot word count: 13.4k+ a/n: this actually took forever so i'm just so glad that i finished it. hope you enjoy!

When you find him, he is sprawled across the sand, unconscious. There is salt crusted over his bare collarbones and a thin stream of blood trickling down the pale column of his throat.

Even so, his beauty takes your breath away.

It takes you the rest of the morning to drag him to the lighthouse. The rest of the evening to coax his body onto the lumpy pull-out couch bed in the living room and dress the two gaping wounds slit along the length of his back.

His wounds heal as you work over them, the skin stitching back together in front of your very eyes, bloody tissue fading into smooth muscle.

You let out a small exhale of awe, wondering what this creature is, if not human. Even then, despite his supernaturality, something about him leaves you unwilling to push him away.

Instead, you tend to his cuts and bruises— although there isn't much need to, seeing that his body is already healing on its own. You rinse the dried salt out of his black locks of hair and pull a thick blanket over him in attempt to warm him up.

It is already late at night by the time you've finished with him. You leave him on the couch and stumble into your own bedroom to collapse onto your bed, exhausted.

The stranger is already up by the time you've rolled out of bed the next morning, preparing to make breakfast. You jump at the sight of him sitting on your coach, blanket spread over his lap, but quickly recover to give him a small nod in greeting.

He stares at you, eyes hostile and untamed. "Who are you?"

His voice is hoarse and slightly scratchy with disuse.

How ironic.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" you ask, a small smile tugging at your lips.

He hesitates for a moment, unsure of what to say. You take a step forward, assessing him carefully. He is even more handsome when he's awake.

"What's your name?"

The stranger balks, swallowing hard, as if trying to remember. Finally, after a long pause—

"Hyunjin," he says. "It's Hyunjin."

"Hyunjin," you repeat, rolling the word off the tip of your tongue. You smile. It suits him.

"Where are you from?"

Hyunjin pauses again, biting his lip, before shaking his head. "I don't remember."

You frown.

"Do you remember what happened to you?"

He shakes his head again in denial.

"You don't remember anything?" you press, "nothing at all?"

His eyes turn defensive, narrowing to gaze at you defiantly. "Nothing at all."

You don't push him— something about him suggests that it would be dangerous to pry. Instead, you come forward to lay a bundle of clothes by his side. When you had found him, his only attire had been a threadbare pair of skinny jeans.

"Put them on," you say, "I can't have you walking around the house half-naked."

Hyunjin takes the clothes in his hands, examining them with interest. You stride out of the living room to give him some privacy. "Come to the dining room when you're dressed to have some breakfast."

Your phone vibrates on your way to the kitchen.

[7:39 am] minho: having fun at the lighthouse ? or have you already started regretting not taking me up on my offer to visit itaewon ?

Grinning, you quickly type out a response.

[7:40 am] i'm having a GREAT time thank u very much

Most people would describe your residence as unique. After all, a lighthouse is not a typical type of home. But if you're being completely honest, having such a tiny home can be restrictive at times. Everything comes in a miniature size. Small kitchen, compact bedroom, miniscule living room. When your parents had asked that you spend your summer vacation at the lighthouse, you had begged to not go, protesting that there were better ways to spend the two luxurious months you got off from college. But they had insisted, saying that visiting the lighthouse was a family tradition, passed on for countless generations.

So you were stuck here. Contrary to common belief, it wasn't an entirely lonesome affair to live in a lighthouse. There was a ferry that traveled between the island and the mainland, which you regularly boarded whenever you craved social interaction and you occasionally hosted tours of the lighthouse as well for curious outsiders. Admittedly, the lighthouse wasn't necessarily a bad vacation destination, it was simply just not your first choice.

You trudge into the kitchen to make some avocado toast, sticking four slices of whole wheat bread into the toaster and spreading mashed avocado over the golden-brown slices of toast. Stacking up the bread onto a tray, you carry it out into the kitchen. Hyunjin is still sitting on the couch, dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants and an white oversized t-shirt. Your breath catches at the sight of him.

In those sweatpants, he resembles Chan a little too much.

Shaking your head, you forcibly push any Chan-related memories to the back of your mind. Instead, you set down the tray onto the dining room table with a loud clatter, pulling out two chairs for you and Hyunjin.

Hyunjin approaches the table cautiously, sitting down hesitantly in the chair. You push a plate of toast closer to him and gesture towards the food. "Go ahead."

You dig into your own toast and watch as Hyunjin carefully picks up the toast and takes a bite. He chews slowly, eyes thoughtful.

You grin. "What, you've never had avocado toast before?"

Hyunjin shakes his head. You raise your eyebrows in dismay— avocado toast is one of the three main staples of your diet along with rice and ramen. You watch as he finishes his toast in silence, his bangs falling into his eyes. You are tempted to offer him a hairband, just to have the visual of Hyunjin with his hair tied back in a purple scrunchie, but decide that it would be too forward.

Instead, you gather up the dirty dishes and dump them into the sink. Hyunjin watches you from the kitchen table, eyes following you wordlessly. He really is too handsome to be true— perfectly-shaped eyebrows and full lips, striking eyes that hold the weight of worlds.

You quickly sponge off the dishes and come back to stand in front of Hyunjin almost hesitantly. He stares at you, dark eyes boring into yours.

"Is it okay if I check on your cuts?"

"What?"

"The cuts on your back," you say, "I want to check if they're doing okay."

Hyunjin's eyes darken with recognition and you pause, intimidated by his gaze. "It's fine if you're uncomfortable I can just—"

But Hyunjin is already turning around, allowing you to lift up his shirt to check up on his wounds. You hesitantly lift up the hem of his t-shirt, eyes sliding over the muscled expanse of his back to where the two long wounds are located.

The sight that greets you makes you gasp. The cuts have closed, but are colored an angry red, the skin tight and swollen.

You run a fingertip down one wound and Hyunjin lets out a hiss of pain. Mumbling an apology, you quickly pull down his t-shirt again and trod into the bathroom to gather ointment from your first aid bag.

Rummaging through the kit, you grab some antibiotic cream and carefully uncap the lid of the bottle, preparing to rub it over Hyunjin's wounds. He watches you quietly, eyes wary, but allows you to lift up the hem of his t-shirt again to apply the cream.

"It's infected," you explain, in case he wants an explanation. Hyunjin nods and allows you to adjust his position for better access.

When you finish spreading a thin layer of cream over his wounds, you wrap his torso with a thick layer of bandages to close off the wound completely and stand up again, letting the t-shirt fall back down. "Hopefully it'll do better after this."

Hyunjin doesn't say anything. For a moment, you hover over him, hesitant, before opting to set to work doing your usual duties. To be honest, you aren't really sure what to do with him. He is so beautiful and strange that it unnerves you more than you'd like to admit. So you leave him to his own devices and make your way to the top of the lighthouse, where you tend to the light beacon.

Technically, it's unnecessary due to modern technology, but you still keep the light on just for the sake of old traditions. Glancing outside, you take a weather reading and record it into the log book — it is damp and humid today, the sky filled with dark menacing clouds.

"What are you doing?"

You jump at the sound of Hyunjin's voice, and turn around to see him leaning against the door frame of the room.

"You shouldn't sneak up on me like that," you breath, "you scared the living shit out of me. And to answer your question, I'm recording the weather in the log book."

Hyunjin frowns, obviously perplexed but doesn't say anything else. You clear your throat. "Do you want anything? Why'd you come and see me?"

"I didn't have anything to do," Hyunjin shrugs. "Can I help? I'd like to repay you for your kindness."

"How thoughtful of you," you smile. "You can help me sweep out the walkway... I rarely have visitors but my parents still insist that I keep the walkway clean."

Hyunjin nods and you lead him outside to the pathway, handing him a broom. "Just sweep the pathway to clear it of any dust. I'll work on weeding it."

Although he is strange and intimidating, Hyunjin proves to be a good worker. He clears out the walkway with a clean efficiency— you watch him out of your peripheral vision while simultaneously weeding the pathway of any stray clumps of grass, marveling over his ethereal looks. In fact, you grow so overly distracted in your attempt to keep an eye on him that you almost end up pulling up a bunch of tulips. Thankfully, you snap awake just before you're about to uproot one of your mother's prize tulip beds.

By the time you've finished weeding, Hyunjin has swept the entire walkway as well as cleared the pathway of any stray pebbles. You stand up to see Hyunjin watching you with expectant eyes. "Is there anything else I can do?"

You shake your head.

"That's it," you say, "unless.."

Hyunjin gazes at you questioningly.

"Have you ever gone fishing before?"

When Hyunjin slowly shakes his head in denial, you take him to the shore of the beach, sitting down by the rocks. The sun has already begun to set, painting the horizon a vivid ochre. Seafoam gathers in frothy clouds against the wet sand as the tide rolls in.

You hand Hyunjin a fishing rod and instruct him on how to fish properly, watching him carefully as he deftly tosses the fishing line into the sea. He moves so adeptly that it’s hard to believe that he’s never done this before.

For a long period of time, the two of you sit by the shore, waiting.

Hyunjin sits with his eyes fixated to the fishing rod clutched in his hands. You hum, leaning back onto your forearms, admiring the ivory reflection of the moon on the sea. Hyunjin glances sideways at you for a moment before turning back to stare at his fishing rod.

"I remember something."

You sit up, suddenly intrigued, and turn to stare at him. "You do?”

Hyunjin nods. "Not much. Just feathers and pain. So much pain.”

He speaks in an oddly detached way, eyes blank as he gazes into the dark seawater.

Sighing, you shake your head, disappointed.

"That's it? I was expecting something more dramatic."

Hyunjin shrugs and adjusts his position, leaning back a bit to press his back against the rock, turning his attention back to his fishing rod. He looks so earnest as he gazes into the sea that you feel inclined to lower his hopes a bit.

"Sometimes I don't catch any fish at all, you know," you say, "so don't be upset if you—"

You are interrupted by a sudden jerk on Hyunjin's line. His eyes glint with excitement as he reels in the rod, lips tugging into a slight smile. Elation looks good on him, you decide. His eyes are dark and alive, almost glowing in the gentle moonlight. You've been sitting on the rocks with him for one or two hours now, watching the tide roll in. You had suggested returning to the lighthouse after the sunset, but Hyunjin had insisted on staying until he caught a fish.

He continues to roll in the line until a skipjack tuna flops onto the shore. You both stare at the fish for a moment until Hyunjin turns to you, grinning. "You were saying?"

You roll your eyes but laugh anyway— it's good to know that he at least has a sense of humor. Hopping off the rocks, you step forward to carefully pick up the tuna, examining it carefully.

The tuna’s scales glint a dark blue in the moonlight, sleek and healthy. Running a hand along the length of the fish, you smile complacently. It’s been quite a while since you’ve last caught a fish as nice as this one.

You end up frying the tuna in soy sauce, topping it off with chopped scallions. Hyunjin watches you like he always does, curled up in the corner of the couch. You serve the fish with rice and kimchi, setting the table for two and gesturing for Hyunjin to come over.

He proves to have a good appetite, devouring the food hungrily. You devote half your time to actually eating, and the other half to admiring Hyunjin. He somehow manages to look attractive even while eating, and you're beginning to think it a little unfair.

The next day, you take Hyunjin out to the beach to dig for mussels. He trots beside you, barefoot in a pair of jeans and a loose fitting white dress shirt. Normally, you hate going mussel hunting, but Hyunjin seemed to want to see more of the island and you thought it would be a good opportunity for him to do so.

Humming, you skip along the length of the beach. It is sunny today— the sky is clear and cloudless, a crystalline blue. You laugh as you run back to walk alongside Hyunjin.

"You kind of look like Howl in that outfit, you know?"

Hyunjin's eyebrows furrow as he peers at you, uncomprehending. "Who?"

You stare at him, eyes widening. "You mean, you've never watched Howl's Moving Castle before?"

Hyunjin shakes his head. You let out a small gasp of despair. "Princess Mononoke?"

He shakes his head again.

"Spirited Away? Ponyo? My Neighbor Totoro?"

Hyunjin's face remains blank and unrecognizing. You shake your head in disbelief. "God, you really are sheltered. I thought everyone knew about Studio Ghibli films."

The atmosphere grows quiet again as you approach the rocks. You demonstrate to Hyunjin the correct way to forage mussels, twisting and pulling them off from the rocks and dropping them into buckets full of cold seawater. Hyunjin proves yet again to be remarkably adept, gathering mussels at a rapid pace. You end up filling the buckets in two hours, and spend the rest of the morning wading through the shallow waters of the tidepools with Hyunjin, gathering exotic looking shells.

You find a pale pink conch shell resting just under the crevice of a barnacle-infested rock and let out a short laugh of surprise. It is tinged gold on the edges, smooth and creamy on the inside. It isn’t everyday that you find a shell so intact and flawless.

"Here," you say, holding out the conch shell to Hyunjin. He stares at you blankly.

"If you hold it to your ear, you can hear the sea."

He takes the conch shell from your hand, slim fingers grazing against yours, and slowly reaches up to hold the shell to his ear. You grin as his eyes light with recognition.

"Pretty cool, right?"

Hyunjin's lips twist into a full-fledged grin. His entire face shifts when he smiles — eyes crinkling at the corners warmly. He looks a little less distant as he smiles, a little less alien.

You turn to go back home at around noon, walking at a considerably slower place. The mussel buckets are heavy, laden with dark gleaming mussels. You boil them in vegetable broth and season them with garlic and ginger.

Hyunjin sits next to you by the dining table and the two of you eat until you feel like bursting. Hyunjin is still cautious around you, but a little less so— his eyes are a bit warmer, less reserved. You watch as he deftly cracks open the mussels to reach the pale yellow meat inside, and realize that it is the longest time you've ever gone without thinking about Chan since The Incident.

You still do not know what to think about Hyunjin, but you suppose that he must be good for you as long as his presence allows you to forget about Chan.

You tend to Hyunjin's wounds after lunch, carefully unraveling the bandages wrapped around his torso and examining the cuts. They are still infected, but considerably less so. You apply more antibiotic cream and wrap up the wounds again.

Hyunjin spends the rest of the afternoon dozing on the couch as you study in your bedroom. You can tell that he's exhausted, even if he's trying his best to conceal it and he looks enormously relieved when you suggest for him to take a nap. By the time he wakes up again, the moon has already risen and hangs low in the inky sky.

You make ramen for dinner and end up forcing Hyunjin to watch Howl's Moving Castle with you. He looks mildly confused as his eyes flit over the screen, quietly observing Turnip-head leading Sophie to the castle and Calcifer complaining as he cooks eggs and bacon. You point out the shocking resemblance between Hyunjin and Howl during one scene, and Hyunjin shakes his head, denying it.

But he wears a small smile throughout the rest of the movie, so you count it as a win.

Hyunjin melds himself into your life until you feel as if he must have always been here with you. He grows stronger as he stays with you, the wounds in his back closing up nicely. But they don't go away, and he says that it still hurts like hell to touch them. Even so, he is healing.

You wonder if he will leave once he is strong enough to.

The memories come back to Hyunjin in fragments, too.

One night, he tells you that he remembers a girl. He doesn't specify any further, but there is a weight in his eyes as he speaks of her.

"A lover?" you ask, peering at him.

Hyunjin shakes his head. "I don't remember."

Another day, as the two of you are sitting by the rocky shore, watching the sunset, Hyunjin tells you that he remembers a large city. A tiny apartment. Cartons of Gamja hotdogs drizzled with ketchup.

Hyunjin's story is absurd when you think of it. Washed ashore onto your island, with no remembrance of his past, and little knowledge about the outside world. Someone whose flesh stitches itself together even as he rips it open.

(You remember Hyunjin accidentally cutting his index finger as he was chopping up tomatoes one afternoon. He had let out an exclamation of pain, dropping the knife. By the time you had rushed over with a bandaid, his skin was already closing on its own, the deep cut fading into smooth skin.)

Someone like Minho would have warned you over the insanity of the entire situation, telling you to tread carefully with Hyunjin, to keep your distance. But something about Hyunjin is so addictive that you find yourself naturally gravitating towards him, even as you attempt to hold him at an arm's length.

His dark eyes, those silky black strands of hair. Those mornings when he stumbles into the kitchen, a vision of eyes swollen with sleep and crimson lips, oversized t-shirt slipping off one shoulder.

You want him. You have long since ceased to deny this fact, because that's what it is. A fact. A statement.

One morning, you wake up to Hyunjin's panicked yelping. You stumble into the living room, still half asleep, to see him pressed into the very corner of the pull-out couch, arms pulled around himself protectively. A large orange tabby cat sits by the foot of the couch, observing him serenely.

"Hyunjin," you gasp, "what's wrong?"

Hyunjin gestures vaguely towards the cat, aghast. "What's that?"

You suppress a peal of laughter. "You mean Kkochi? She's a cat."

Hyunjin stares at you. "You mean it has a name?"

"Sure she does," you say, "she's my pet. She's usually outdoors but she comes into the lighthouse occasionally when she wants company."

You come forward to rub Kkochi's chin as she purrs, closing her eyes in bliss. Hyunjin stares at you in amazement. "You can touch it?"

"Yep," you grin, "she loves it."

Hyunjin slowly inches forward to pat Kkochi's soft fur, running his fingertips over her head. His eyes are wide with awe. You think it's adorable. Kkochi purrs and nudges her head further into Hyunjin's hand, eyes closed half shut.

"Oh, she must like you a lot," you say. "She doesn't usually warm up to strangers so quickly."

Hyunjin smiles a little, scratching over her head. "She's very soft."

That’s how you bond with Hyunjin. Through half-domesticated cats and Studio Ghibli films. By the end of his first three days at the lighthouse, you've already watched four other Ghibli films already, including Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away.

Hyunjin learns of cream puffs and bubble baths and Spotify during his stay at the lighthouse. He picks up a hobby of drawing, filling a notebook you bought him with flawless sketches. You watch as he blooms under your very eyes, and wonder if you are holding him back by keeping here in this lighthouse. Even so, you feel reluctant to let him go.

After all, he is the only good thing that has ever happened to you since The Incident.

Twelve days after Hyunjin arrives at the lighthouse, you open up the fridge and find it devoid of any avocados.

Normally, you only have to visit the mainland every other week or so for groceries, but with Hyunjin here with you, the food has disappeared much faster. You sigh and grab your bag, slipping on your sneakers and donning a hoodie. Hyunjin appears before you, gazing at you curiously. "Where are you going?"

"Town," you say, "I have to pick up some groceries there."

Hyunjin nods, opens his mouth to say something before closing it again. You watch him carefully. "Want to come with me?"

He gives a small nod in affirmation. You hesitate, doubtful, but consent anyway. After all, it’s beneficial for Hyunjin to have more exposure to the outside world. So you take him along with you on the ferry, keeping him close to you.

The ferryman gives Hyunjin one or two dubious glances, but he doesn't comment on it. By the time you reach the mainland, it is already noon. Hyunjin keeps beside you, gazing around him with mild interest.

You turn to glance at him. "What do you think?"

"There's a lot more people than I expected," he says, "but it's nice. I like it."

It's hardly been a minute since Hyunjin stepped off the ferry, and already he's attracting stares. A pair of girls gaze at him from their table at the local café, eyes sliding over his bold eyes and sculpted cheekbones. If Hyunjin notices their gazes, he doesn't show it.

"Want to stop by the local restaurant for lunch? It's already noon."

Hyunjin’s stomach growls in response.

Laughing, you lead him over to a small restaurant and order two servings of bibimbap. He sits on a chair adjacent to you, curious eyes wandering through the restaurant with interest. The restaurant has gone silent since he walked in, the customers abruptly pausing their conversations to stare at this beautiful stranger in awe. A man sitting next to your table almost makes a move to talk to Hyunjin but decides against it.

You cover your mouth with the sleeve of your hoodie to conceal your smile. They really are too fucking obvious.

Hyunjin frowns at you. "What?"

"It's nothing," you say, still grinning.

A waitress comes and sets two bowls of bibimbap in front of you. Hyunjin thanks her for the food, a shy smile curling at the corners of his mouth.

Blushing furiously, the waitress quickly departs, pressing her hands to her cheeks to cool them down. You stifle yet another smile and dig into your food, gesturing for Hyunjin to do the same.

He takes a bite and gives a small groan of delight.

"What do you think?" you ask, "it's good, right?"

Hyunjin nods, chewing. “It’s good. I like your avocado toast more, though."

You take a moment to absorb the impact of his words, heart skipping a beat in your chest as you gaze at him from across the table, cheeks burning. There is a brief moment where you stare awkwardly at each other, unsure of what to say, before you quickly laugh it off and push his bowl of bibimbap closer to him. "Just eat."

After lunch, you take Hyunjin to the local café and introduce him to iced americanos, which he adores immediately. You grin as he lets the aromatic flavor of caffeine sit on his tongue, nodding approvingly at the taste.

"Why didn't you introduce me to this drink earlier?" Hyunjin asks, examining his plastic cup of americano. "It tastes wonderful."

You smile. "It does?"

He nods.

"It also tastes.." he trails off, searching for the appropriate word, "familiar. It tastes familiar."

"Like you've had it before?"

Hyunjin nods again. You consider this piece of information before sighing— it's been twelve days and you still feel no closer to figuring out what exactly happened to Hyunjin before he washed ashore onto your island. What little Hyunjin remembers is so arbitrary and insignificant that it's practically impossible to piece his memories together. You hand a ₩10000 banknote to the cashier before stepping back outside, walking in the direction of the grocery store.

"I just have to go grocery shopping and then we can go home," you tell him, hoisting your bag higher up onto your shoulder. "We're out of avocados and I can't function properly without avocados."

Hyunjin nods, absentmindedly guiding you to the inner side of the sidewalk as a car streaks noisily past you on the street.

You swallow heavily and pretend that you don't find the protective gesture to be stupidly wholesome. Hyunjin walks close to you, hand brushing against your own with every step. You mentally berate yourself for going lightheaded over such a simple action.

By the time you come to a stop in front of the grocery store, the sun has already begun to set. Hyunjin lets out a gasp of amazement as you guide him into the store, pushing along a grocery cart.

He gazes around him in awe, taking in the huge shelves full of food. "Can you just take whatever you want?"

"Pretty much," you smile, "as long as you can pay for it."

He skips through the aisles, stopping occasionally to examine a random product and point it out to you delightedly. You smile as you push the grocery cart and observe him, a sharp pang of fondness resonating deep within your stomach.

Hyunjin draws your attention towards a snowglobe that swirls with glitter whenever you shake it, eyes sparkling with excitement.

"It's like you suddenly became ten years younger," you laugh.

Hyunjin flushes indignantly.

"But I like it!" you quickly say, to appease his temper. "It's cute."

He smiles at that.

By the end of your grocery trip, there are at least nine items in your grocery cart that you have absolutely no use for including the snowglobe that Hyunjin had found so fascinating, a new sketching notebook (your gift for Hyunjin), and a case of handmade soap (because Hyunjin thought they were too pretty to not buy). It's already late in the evening and the day's events have taken their toll on Hyunjin. He looks exhausted, winces in pain at even the slightest pressure applied to his back.

"We just have to checkout," you promise, glancing at Hyunjin worriedly, "then we can board the ferry and go back home."

So you wait in line at the checkout area and Hyunjin stands beside you, eyes tired and dull. By the time you've checked out, it's already dark outside.

You walk together on the side of the street, thoroughly exhausted. Hyunjin seems to be even worse off than you, letting out small exhales of discomfort every time he takes a step. "Just a few more minutes," you say, touching his arm gently, "hold on for a little longer."

He turns to give you a small smile, eyes crinkling at the corners, and your mind immediately goes blank. In fact, you are so captivated by his ethereal looks that you don't even hear the steady whirring of bicycle wheels from behind you until Hyunjin's eyes focus on something just to the right of your left shoulder. His eyes widen in alarm, and you turn around to see a bike cruising towards you at full speed, the rider waving their hands in the air, desperately gesturing for you to get out of the way.

It all happens so fast that you have no time to react. Instead, you brace yourself for the worst, squeezing your eyes tightly shut.

But it never comes.

Instead, everything goes deathly silent.

After about five seconds or so, you open your eyes again. The people surrounding you are motionless and frozen. Their faces are still animated with emotion, as if still in the middle of conversation.

You slowly turn to stare at the bicycle, which most definitely should have collided with you by now. Instead, it is frozen, although caught in the motion of streaking down the street. The rider too is completely stagnant, mouth opened in a silent scream of horror.

Time is, quite literally, frozen.

Everything stands still, motionless and paralyzed. That is, until you hear the scuffle of shoes against pavement from behind you and see Hyunjin, very much alive and moving, looking equally as shocked.

It doesn't take much to put the two and two together.

"You did this?"

Hyunjin shakes his head helplessly. "I don't know."

But he must have, you think. Because who else could have possibly done so if not him? You stare out into the frozen landscape, incredulous.

"Hyunjin," you breathe, wide-eyed and awed, "what exactly are you?"

Hyunjin presses his lips into a firm line. "I don't know, okay?"

He genuinely sounds so horrified that you resist the urge to gather him up in your arms and smooth a hand over his ruffled hair. He looks down at his feet, voice small and vulnerable. "I don't fucking know."

You gently wrap your fingers around his wrist, guiding him to the side of the street. Hyunjin lets himself be tugged along, eyes still trained to the ground.

Eventually, the world unfreezes. The people continue their conversations the moment they spring back to life as if nothing ever happened, and the bicycle continues its destructive course down the street. You marvel at the fact that for a good ten minutes, you and Hyunjin were the only human beings alive in the entire town.

Well, you were the only human being alive. You still don't know what Hyunjin is.

You silently guide Hyunjin to the harbor and board the ferry.

The ride back home is excruciatingly silent.

When you reach the lighthouse, you tend to Hyunjin's wounds and leave him to sleep on the couch. He falls asleep immediately, curling in on himself almost protectively. You brush his bangs out of his eyes and envelope him in a blanket.

You never knew you could have learned to care so intimately for someone in such a short period of time.

Before you leave, you place a plateful of avocado toast by Hyunjin's side for when he wakes up.

Then, you step outside to sit by the shore for a very long time.

Inside your house, asleep on your threadbare pull-out couch, there is someone who can freeze time itself. Whose body can heal itself before your very eyes.

The worst part is, it doesn't make you want him any less.

You tear him apart in your mind, telling yourself that he is a monster— something inhumane.

You should keep your distance from him, you think. Push him away from you. You can't allow him to stay. You can't keep him here with you and make him warm plates of avocado toast in the mornings and take him to the shore to go fishing for tuna.

But you are already waist-deep in those dark pools of liquid glass that he has for eyes.

You crouch down to drag a finger through the seafoam that gathers on the wet sand and allow yourself, for the first time in months, to think of Chan.

He is so similar, and yet so different from Hyunjin. He loved so obviously— held your hand in public and sent you boxes of chocolates on Valentine's Day. A vivid contrast to Hyunjin's quiet thoughtfulness. You had believed, wholly and naively, that you loved him, and that he loved you back.

And then came The Incident. The morning when you visited his apartment unannounced to pick up a sweater you had accidentally left there and found Chan on the sofa, all messy hair and puffy lips.

Against Chan's collarbone was the necklace you had gifted to him for your third anniversary, and in Chan's arms was Jo Miyeon.

Chan had nothing to say to you when you found out. You didn't really have anything to say, either. You just turned and left, crying all the way back to your apartment. You didn't even end up retrieving the sweater.

You hug your knees to your chest and dig your fingers into the soft sand. Chan had tried to contact you countless times after The Incident, sending you text after text begging you to hear him out. You told him to fuck off and blocked his number.

You feel a light weight against your back and turn to see Hyunjin bending to drape his coat over your shoulders before coming to sit beside you. You blink away any possible traces of tears from your eyes and turn to smile at him. "Feeling better?"

Hyunjin nods, before reaching up to gently graze a fingertip against your cheekbone. Your breath hitches in your throat. "What's with the face?"

His fingers remain against your cheeks.

"What do you mean?"

"You always have this look on your face whenever you've been feeling bad over something," he says, eyes still searching your own carefully.

You shake your head. "It's nothing."

Hyunjin sighs but doesn't push. Instead, he leans back a bit and gazes into the dark water of the sea. His bare forearm presses against your own, warm and reassuring. You pull his coat closer around your shoulders, hugging your knees tighter to your chest.

Hyunjin clears his throat gently. "Do you want to rewatch Howl's Moving Castle with me?"

So you walk with Hyunjin back to the house and watch Howl's Moving Castle together and momentarily, everything is okay.

Momentarily.

The next morning, you wake up and cook omelettes for breakfast. Hyunjin sits by you, chewing thoughtfully as you elucidate to him the purpose of laundry detergent. You've gotten used to Hyunjin's limited knowledge of society, and to be completely honest, it's quite enjoyable to explain to him the significance behind turning away when drinking with elders or why kimchi is such a staple food in Korean culture. Something about his innocence is terribly endearing.

Hyunjin spends the rest of the forenoon sitting by the shore, painting the sea in its misty gray morning glory. After mastering sketching, he's decided to pick up oil painting as well. Unsurprisingly, he excels in it.

You study for a bit but find it impossible to focus when you can just catch a glimpse of Hyunjin painting from the corner of your window in your bedroom. Instead, you decide to sweep out the walkway. It's an excellent excuse to spend more time in Hyunjin's presence.

After sweeping, you clear the path of any stray pebbles. As you near the end of the pathway, you find a dead dove lying limp against the gray stone of the walkway. Hyunjin comes running at your exclamation of shock, eyes flashing with worry. When his eyes fall onto the dove, something lights onto his features.

You are not sure what to call it.

Recognition? Horror?

He stares at the lifeless bird in silence, eyes sliding glassily over the white feathers scattered in a halo around the dove, the stain of blood against its slender neck. The awkward angle of the wings as it lies splayed out across the pathway.

You frown.

"Hyunjin," you say, eyebrows knitting together in confusion, "what's wrong?"

Hyunjin slowly turns to look at you. There is nothing but pain in his dark eyes.

The first thing Hyunjin knew when he first opened his eyes was pain. A bottomless, aching pain from deep within his shoulder blades.

At first, it was all that he knew.

And then came a sense of loss. Hyunjin didn't know what he had lost, or how he could ever find it again.

All he knew was that he had lost something, and it had been very, very important to him.

But then you walked into the living room. Fed him the strange bread with the mushy layer of pulpy green spread on top with a scattering of salt and pepper. Tended to his wounds, with forbearing hands and lithe fingers. Took him fishing and taught him to laugh again.

The pain was still there, but with you, the aching subsided into a dull throb.

Hyunjin still didn't remember what he lost.

But bits and pieces of his past slowly came back to him, so tiny and seemingly negligible that he had given up on making any sense of them.

He remembered laughter on a city rooftop. Borrowed hoodies and iced americanos. He remembered a girl. He didn’t quite remember or name, or even what she looked like.

But he recollected the scent of rain and jasmine she carried with her. The silvery quality of her laughter.

Street hotdogs, drizzled in thick strands of ketchup.

Torn feathers and excruciating pain.

The slivers of memories came back to him at a snail-paced rate.

But as he stares at the dead dove, with its blood-soaked feathers and broken wings, it all comes crashing back onto him like a wave, a tsunami of memories.

And here is what he remembers.

He remembers nights spent laughing under the sheets of a twin bed. He remembers gliding through the night air on starlit wings.

He remembers laced fingers and tight embraces. Shared iced americanos in the comfort of a cramped apartment.

Most of all, he remembered the girl. Her name is still lost to him, but he can remember her voice now. Husky and clear, slightly brittle. He can't recall her face, but he remembers that the color of her eyes perfectly matched the hue of ground coffee beans.

He remembers being apprehended and brought to Him. Kneeling before Him and begging for forgiveness— and receiving only contempt instead. Having his wings torn from him, bloodstained feathers scattered across the ground. Feeling the slick warm sense of blood rushing from his back in crimson waves. Falling into the sea, blood still trickling from the deep gashes in his back.

He gazes at you, the memories still bearing down on him in a torrent. You're still staring at him, eyes flashing with concern.

"I think," Hyunjin says, "that I was an angel."

To your everlasting credit, you manage to keep any incredulity off your face.

"Was?"

Hyunjin nods. "I had my wings torn from me."

You frown. "For what?"

Hyunjin smiles, although it ends up twisting into a grimace.

"I fell in love."

You try, in vain, to ignore the stab of jealousy that shoots through you at his words. You swallow down the envy that tears at your throat, fighting to slip out of your mouth.

"Was it with the girl?" you ask, "the girl you mentioned you remembered?"

Hyunjin nods.

“Does she still remember you, too?”

He gives a tense scoff, pain flashing across his face. “She’s dead now. They killed her. As a punishment for falling in love with me.”

You don’t quite know what to say. The pain in Hyunjin’s voice is so audible that it tears through your chest. Hyunjin shakes his head, kicking at a stray pebble, before looking back up to you.

"Shouldn't you be more shocked about the fact that I was an angel?"

You pause. If you're being completely honest, there is a part of you that cannot wrap your mind around the entire situation. But a bigger part of you has always known that Hyunjin wasn't human, although an angel never really crossed your mind.

"I am shocked," you admit, "but it makes sense."

Hyunjin frowns again, but seems to be grateful for your minimal reaction.

"Are your scars from where your wings were?"

Hyunjin nods. "They were ripped from me when I fell."

"So is it, like, illegal to fall in love for an angel?"

"You make it sound so casual," Hyunjin smiles, "but yeah, it pretty much is. God always insisted that our only purpose would be to deliver his messages and worship him infinitely. It was always forbidden to fall in love."

You raise your eyebrows in alarm. "So you've actually seen God?"

"I was an angel," Hyunjin snorts, "I pretty much spent half of my time flying around in the human world and the other half kneeling before him worshiping or something."

"You could fly?"

You know the questions coming out of your mouth sound insanely dumb, but you also can't stop them from slipping out.

Hyunjin sighs. "That's one of the main attributes of being an angel."

You take a moment to survey the entire situation a little more thoroughly. Knowing and acknowledging that Hyunjin is a fallen angel is infinitely more difficult than just knowing and acknowledging that he isn't human. Hyunjin seems much more confident now that his memories have been restored. A little less lost, although he looks a bit dazed.

"Are all angels this good-looking?"

The question slips off your tongue, and you mentally slap yourself for not shutting up when you clearly should have. A smug grin makes its way on Hyunjin's face as he stares at you.

"You think I'm good-looking?"

"Just pretend I didn't say anything."

Hyunjin laughs, a grin stretching across his face. "Actually, I don't think I will."

You flush red, cheeks burning. Hyunjin gazes at you with something like endearment in his eyes. "And to answer your question, pretty much. We're all meant to look ethereal or whatever."

"Now that you know what you are," you say, swallowing hesitantly, "what are you going to do now?"

Hyunjin hesitates, ruminating quietly.

"I'm not sure," he admits. "Usually, fallen angels descend to Hell to serve Lucifer instead. But.."

He trails off, almost bashfully. You tilt your head. "But what?"

"I'd rather stay here with you."

Oh.

Your heart expands in your chest. You can't help the flush of delight that makes its way to your cheeks. "Didn't know you enjoyed my company that much."

"I'm only staying for the avocado toast."

"I liked you better when you were suffering from an identity crisis," you scoff. "Less cocky."

But you smile anyways, and take him fishing.

Just like that, your life with Hyunjin fades into a comfortable rhythm. Hyunjin grows into his own skin as the days progress, and you marvel at the transformation in his character ever since he retrieved his memories.

There isn't much of a shift in your relationship. Hyunjin still carries himself with a quiet thoughtfulness in his eyes, and you still wake him up every morning to make avocado toast for him.

Admittedly, there is a lot more mindless touching between the two of you. Gentle hand squeezes while walking along the length of the shore, sleepy backhugs while binging a k-drama that neither of you could give two fucks about. Hyunjin is so casual about it that you don't bother mentioning it to him.

Besides, you rather like it when he touches you.

You hardly ever think of Chan anymore. Not when you have Hyunjin here, with his shy laughter and dark eyes. The days pass by in a blur— a melty haze of sunkissed mornings and evenings spent sitting by the shore.

You think you could get used to this. This kind of life, with this boy who fell from Heaven by your side.

Next to you, Hyunjin shifts slightly, shoulder pressing into yours. You're sitting on the lumpy couch, a blanket pulled over your lap. Hyunjin stares at the screen of the television, eyes fixated onto the k-drama.

"Hyun," you say.

Hyunjin turns to glance at you expectantly. You don't know when exactly you had started to use the nickname— you suppose it just absentmindedly tumbled off your tongue one day. But Hyunjin seems to receive it well, and you're a sucker for the sheer domesticity of calling him by a nickname.

"Tomorrow, they'll be holding a huge festival celebration on the mainland for Chilseok," you say, "do you want to go?"

Hyunjin pauses. His back has been hurting more frequently recently, even though the infection has long since left his scars. You've been worrying over it, even though Hyunjin has been insisting that he's fine.

"They hold the festival every year," you explain, "to celebrate the one day Jiknyeo and Gyeonwu meet on a bridge made of magpies and crows. You haven't heard of it?"

Hyunjin shakes his head.

You sigh. "Well, anyway. They always make the best grilled wheat flour noodles at the festival, so I always go. Plus, they also make steamed rice cakes, which is a bonus."

Hyunjin's eyes light up at the mention of food as he nods eagerly.

The next morning, you board the ferry, taking Hyunjin along with you. He winces as he walks, and you feel a stab of worry pierce through your heart.

"Maybe we should go see a doctor or something," you say, glancing at him in concern.

Hyunjin smiles. "And then what? They'll find out about my supernatural properties and then I'll be used as a test subject for all their fucked up experiments. I'd rather not."

"But still, it's obviously getting worse. And I don't know how to fix it, either."

You frown, eyebrows furrowing uneasily. Hyunjin gazes at you for a moment, before reaching out to pull you into a backhug, pressing your back to his chest and resting his chin against the top of your head. "Don't worry about it. It'll be fine."

You allow yourself to lean into his touch, running a hand along the sleeve of his gray hoodie but continue to worry.

The mainland is already in chaos by the time you arrive. Normally, Chilseok isn't a huge festival in Korea, but here, it is easily one of the most celebrated ones. There are streamers decorating the roofs of the buildings, and the smell of wheat flour noodle soup boiling in the air. Hyunjin keeps you close to him as he presses through the crowds, reaching out a hand to grip your waist.

"Hyun, look," you say, gesturing towards a rice cake stand.

Normally, you dislike rice cake. But the ones they make at Chilseok are nothing short of heavenly, warm and sticky, topped with azuki beans. You lead Hyunjin over to the stand and quickly get in line.

Hyunjin stays by your side for a moment, before catching sight of a wheat pancake stall, pupils dilating in hunger.

Wordlessly, you hand him two crisp ₩10000 banknotes and gesture for him to go ahead. Normally, you would be worried about leaving Hyunjin on his own. But you know he needs more social exposure, and you think this would be a good opportunity to do so.

Hyunjin hesitates briefly, almost apprehensively. You laugh and give him a small shove. "Go on, it'll only be a moment."

Hyunjin trots off towards the stall, tightly clutching the banknotes in his hands, and you turn to retrieve a ₩10000 banknote from your wallet, humming to yourself.

And then a voice says your name from behind you.

You pause, your body stiffening instinctively, banknote clutched tightly in your hand.

You would recognize that voice anywhere, anytime.

Slowly, you turn around. Your stomach dips at the sight of him standing in front of you, eyes inquisitive and bright, skin glowing in the beam of sunlight that washes over him. Your chest seizes up at the sight of him.

"Chan."

He's dressed in a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and a white t-shirt. He looks good. Chan always looks good. Maybe he’d be a little easier to erase if he didn’t look so damn good all the fucking time.

Your voice turns hostile as you take a step back, eyes narrowing. "What are you doing here?"

"What, I can't come to celebrate Chilseok too?" he laughs, taking a step forward. "Wasn't expecting to see you here, though."

You take another step back, almost bumping into the person in front of you in line. They shoot you a dirty look, which you ignore.

"Leave," you spit. "Now."

Chan rolls his eyes. "It's been months since we last saw each other, and this is how you greet me? I just came to say hi."

"Chan, go. I don't want to talk. I've got nothing to say to you, anyways."

Chan sighs and takes another step forward, making a move to grab your hand. But before he can do so, a warm hand comes to grasp your shoulder lightly.

Hyunjin stands next to you, staring at Chan almost belligerently.

"Hyunjin," you breathe. The relief in your voice is so apparent that even Chan seems to notice it.

Hyunjin doesn't take his eyes off Chan. "Who's he?"

Chan frowns. "I should be asking the same question."

Hyunjin's grip on your shoulder tightens. "Maybe you should mind your own fucking business."

You feel as if you might just explode with embarrassment. Chan barks out a short, bitter laugh.

"Got yourself a new boyfriend already? You moved on really fucking fast."

"Don't you think you're being a little hypocritical? If I recall correctly, wasn't it you who cheated on me?"

Hyunjin watches the exchange between you and Chan, realization slowly dawning on his face. You sigh, running a tired hand through your hair. "Just go, Chan. I don't have the energy to deal with you."

Chan opens his mouth to retort, but before he can do so, Hyunjin steps in between the two of you, forcing him to take a step back. "You heard them. Leave."

You watch as Chan's face hardens acidly.

"Fine. Have it your way."

He turns and leaves, hands clenched so tightly by his sides that his knuckles turn white. Hyunjin turns to you the moment he leaves, worry etched into his face.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," you say, grinning up at him. "You didn't have to come save me, you know? I was perfectly capable of handling the situation by myself."

Hyunjin's face softens into a smile as he reaches up to brush off a strand of grass from your hair. "You would have done the same thing if it had been me."

You roll your eyes but don't try to oppose him. He's right, anyways. "Did you get the wheat pancakes?"

Hyunjin holds up a white paper bag victoriously. "The woman operating the stall even offered to give me another 2 pancakes for free! The people are so nice here."

"They're not nice," you laugh, "they just think you're handsome."

Hyunjin flushes, ears going red. You laugh again, something like adoration pulsing through you as you gaze at him. From behind you, someone clears their throat. You turn to see the rice cake stand operator staring at you expectantly.

Hurriedly, you hold out a ₩10000 banknote to him, cheeks burning and accept the rice cakes he gives you apologetically. Hyunjin stifles a laugh as you trod off, still red with embarrassment.

You sit down by a bench to eat the rice cakes, Hyunjin coming to sit beside you. You groan in ecstasy the moment you bite into a cake, eyes closing in delight. Hyunjin smiles. "Is it good?"

You nod earnestly, reaching into the bag to hold out another skewer of rice cakes for Hyunjin. "You should try some, they taste heavenly."

Hyunjin takes a bite, chewing silently. "It's good. Still not as good as the food from Heaven, though."

You stare at him. "You ate food in Heaven?"

He nods, examining the skewer of rice cake in his hand. "We usually ate manna, although we had ambrosia too sometimes."

You smile. "It sounds good."

"It was," Hyunjin nods emphatically, "ambrosia always tasted different every time you had it."

He speaks with something almost akin to longing in his voice. You are silent for a moment, contemplating.

"Do you miss being an angel?"

Hyunjin pauses, before shrugging. "It was fun. But it was full of restraints and limitations. There were always so many rules— I always knew I'd end up getting my wings taken away anyways. I was too impulsive to be a good angel."

He turns to smile at you shyly, eyes crinkling into crescent moons.

"Besides, I like it here with you."

You exhale slowly. Hyunjin stares at you with such open adoration in his eyes, such pure trust. You throb with want, with the need to love this fallen angel with the scars carved deep into his back and dark eyes that glow with stardust with everything that you are— everything that you ever will be.

Before you can think it through, you lean forward and capture his lips with your own.

You feel Hyunjin tense up momentarily, stiffening in shock, before immediately reciprocating the kiss. He tastes like sticky rice cake and sea salt, thick and sweet against your lips. You allow him to lean further into you, a hand slowly coming up to cup your cheek and the other coming to grip your waist lightly.

You break apart after a few moments to breathe, lips puffy and swollen. Hyunjin hums lowly from the back of his throat, hand still pressed against your cheek. You allow him to nose along your jaw, pressing chaste kisses against your jawline.

"Hyun," you mumble, running a hand through his hair. Hyunjin gives a hum in response, grazing his lips against your cheekbone. You sit back a bit, gently pushing him away. He gives an disgruntled huff but leans back to stare at you expectantly.

Biting your lip, you glance around you. There are several people staring at you already. "We shouldn't do it here."

"Let's go back home, then," he says, immediately standing up and holding out a hand to you.

His eagerness is endearing. You laugh as you take his hand, allowing him to pull you up. Hyunjin doesn't let go of your hand as he pulls you along into the direction of the ferry, dark locks of hair flying in the wind. He wraps you in a tight embrace the entire ride home, pressing you against the railing of the ferry and leaving butterfly kisses across your cheeks, oblivious to the dirty looks the ferryman keeps on sending your way as he operates the boat.

You almost consider apologizing to the man for all the troubles he's gone through with the two of you, but then Hyunjin brushes a kiss to the juncture between your neck and your shoulder and your mind goes blank as you pull Hyunjin closer, wrapping your arms tight around his torso.

The two of you end up spending the rest of the evening kissing and talking, lying in a tangled mess on the couch. You binge watch a k-drama, although you don't end up remembering a single thing the next morning except for the way Hyunjin cupped your cheeks warmly as he kissed you, the way he leaned into you when you pulled him into a backhug, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling his back into your chest.

You think that this must be the happiest you've ever been. Wrapped tightly in Hyunjin's arms, lips molded against his on the mangy couch of your living room.

You remember how your mother had once told you to be careful with the way you lived your life— that the gods hated to see humans too happy. But you are too intoxicated in the drug that is Hyunjin to care much about what gods think.

You don't bother defining the relationship.

You think that it's unnecessary. Partly because Hyunjin has grown up without knowledge of human norms and seems to see no need in defining whatever it is he has with you, and partly because there is no need to. In the haven that is the lighthouse by the sea, it feels almost irrelevant to live life by rigid definitions and ideologies— it seems much more fitting to live in between the lines, uncharted and hazy.

But you know that you love Hyunjin. This you know better than anything. And you think, at least, that Hyunjin loves you.

It is only during the first week of August that you know for sure that Hyunjin loves you back.

July goes by so quickly that it almost seems as if it never happened in the first place. You lose yourself in Hyunjin's charms, in his raspy morning voice as he stumbles into the kitchen to wrap you into a sleepy backhug as you fry eggs for the two of you or his habit of leaving trails of butterfly kisses against your fingertips as he sits next to you.

Living with Hyunjin seems to be Heaven on earth— a very accurate metaphor considering the fact that Hyunjin was quite literally an angel. But as wonderful as it all is, it is also painfully obvious that there is something wrong with him.

Although the wounds on his back seem to heal at first, they quickly worsen during the period of July. The pain starts off only as a dull throbbing, but soon expands into a sharp and agonizing ache. Hyunjin insists that he is fine, brushing it off with a dismissive smile, but you find it impossible to believe.

Not when he tosses and turns on the couch at night in pain, unable to find a comfortable position to sleep without hurting his back.

You continue to tend to his wounds daily and press him to see a doctor. Hyunjin, again, refuses, saying that he'd rather stay here— that he couldn't risk being discovered to be an angel.

You never realized angels could be so stubborn.

By the first week of August, Hyunjin can hardly get out of bed without wincing in pain. Dark corded veins run along the lengths of his scars, so dark that they almost look black. You can do nothing but keep by his side, pressing poultices to his wounds and running a cool towel across his sweaty forehead. Neither of you can understand why it is that his wounds only seem to worsen, even though they show no sign of infection or contamination.

It isn't until Felix comes a few days later that everything makes much more sense.

Felix comes in all his angelic glory, dressed in dark jeans and a white t-shirt, halcyon ivory wings sprouting from his back. He walks almost hesitantly up the pathway and comes to knock at the door of the lighthouse. When you open the door a few seconds later, you both end up screaming in surprise at the sight of each other.

Hyunjin quickly comes over to the doorway after hearing your scream and halts the commotion by hurriedly explaining to you that Felix used to be one of his angel companions. You quickly compose yourself and let Felix into the house, blushing furiously.

Admittedly, you probably should have seen that coming. But when a real live angel is standing right in front of you, it's difficult to do anything but scream and stare. Felix comes to sit by the couch, wings folded up awkwardly behind him. He introduces himself shortly, his seraphic face a stark contrast to his deep voice.

Hyunjin sits by him rigidly, hands held stiffly in his lap. He keeps on casting side glances at you, as if checking if you were alright. It would be a cute gesture, you think, if the atmosphere wasn't so tense.

The moment Felix finishes his introductions, he jumps straight to the point. Turning to face Hyunjin, he studies him worriedly. "Has it started yet?"

"Has what started?" Hyunjin asks, frowning.

"The pain. Have the scars started to hurt yet?"

Hyunjin swallows, and turns to look at you. You stare at him mutely from across the couch, eyes wide. Slowly, Hyunjin turns to face Felix again and gives a short nod.

Felix groans, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. There is a dusting of freckles across his cheeks and his nose, you notice. His skin practically glows in the dimly lit space of your living room.

Hyunjin leans in closer to Felix, staring at him expectantly. "Do you know why it's happening? How we can stop it?"

"I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yourself," Felix says, "an angel like you isn't supposed to exist in the human world in the first place, even if you have fallen. You have to descend to Hell so you can fully metamorphose into a demon."

Hyunjin's frown deepens as he considers Felix.

"I can only stay for half an hour at the most. I had Changbin cover for me so that I wouldn't be caught, but he can only conceal my absence for so long. If they find out that I visited you, they'll expel me too." Felix cautions. "I just came to warn you. Even if you've fallen, you're still one of my closest friends."

You feel overwhelmed by the sudden torrent of information. Swallowing hard, you tuck your hands underneath your thighs and look down into your lap. You can feel Hyunjin's gaze boring into you, but you don't look up.

"Is there any way I can stay here?" Hyunjin asks. "Without having to leave for Hell?"

Felix shakes his head. "You were never made to exist as something in between, Hyunjin. It was always to be either a demon or an angel. There is no gray area. If you stay here, you'll die."

You don't dare look up, afraid that your eyes will betray you.

Felix lets out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his blonde locks of hair. "Hyunjin, this is a life or death scenario. Why the fuck are you hesitating?"

Hyunjin stares hard at your trembling frame, willing you to look at him. You keep your eyes trained to your lap. Felix slowly follows his gaze until his eyes set onto you and glances between you and Hyunjin, eyes narrowed.

"Don't tell me you're—"

"Yeah. Yeah, we are."

Hyunjin has never spoken in such a hard tone since that day with Chan. You almost don't recognize his voice.

"Again?" Felix groans, sighing. "Was the first time not enough?"

Hyunjin shrugs wordlessly, sitting back into the couch. You sit in silence, contemplating, although there really is nothing to contemplate about. The answer is obvious, although painfully hard to admit.

"Hyun," you say, looking up. Hyunjin glances up to look at you, something like hope glinting in his dark eyes. "You should go. It's wrong of me to keep you here."

His face falls at your words, the light in his eyes flickering out. You tell yourself that this is what was to be expected. After all, the past few months with him really were too good to be true.

Standing up abruptly, you turn to trudge into your bedroom. "You can leave first thing in the morning."

"But what if I want to stay?" Hyunjin challenges, glaring at you defiantly. "What if I would rather stay here? You can't force me out."

"Actually, I can. It's my house," you say, and hate yourself for the way Hyunjin flinches at your words, the hurt that flashes across his face. "Leave by tomorrow morning."

Hyunjin catches your wrist as you brush past him, gazing at you with pleading eyes. You press your lips into a firm line and shake your head.

"You have to go, Hyunjin," you say, softly. "There's no other way."

You tug your wrist from his grip and walk stiffly away from him, hands held tightly to your sides.

Felix watches your exchange silently, bottom lip caught between his teeth. You stumble into your bedroom and collapse onto the bed, burrowing under the sheets.

Your mother did not lie.

The gods truly did hate to see humans too happy— hated it enough that they would dare to take Hyunjin away from you.

You lie in bed, staring at the white plaster of your ceiling, and wonder if Hyunjin will miss you just as much as you miss him.

A few hours later, Hyunjin slips into your bedroom and comes to sit by your bedside. You don't ever dare to look at him.

He reaches out to place a plate of avocado toast by your bedside, pausing for a long moment to stare at you. The look in his eyes is so full of longing that it takes a considerable amount of self-control to refrain from pulling him into your arms and kissing him.

You turn away from him, and hug your arms around yourself.

"When you leave tomorrow, just go. Don't bother saying goodbye."

Hyunjin makes a soft noise of protest from the back of his throat.

"It'll be easier for both of us that way."

You can hear Hyunjin swallow hard as he gazes at you from the doorway of your bedroom. But his voice is hard and steely as he speaks.

"Fine. Have it your way."

You end up telling yourself repeatedly throughout the course of the night that Hyunjin's departure will be easier without farewells.

When you hear Hyunjin rouse from the couch at 5 am the next morning, it takes an enormous amount of restraint to keep from tearing out of the bedroom and pulling him into a tight embrace. You sit in bed, teeth gritted, and tell yourself that it'll be for the greater good.

You eventually give in by the time you hear Hyunjin slip out of the lighthouse. Slipping on a fuzzy pair of bunny slippers and a thin hoodie, you run out after him. Hyunjin is standing by the shore when you reach him, dark hair blowing in the wind. He turns in surprise when you call out his name, although the shock immediately morphs into relief.

You come to stand a few feet away from him, panting.

Hyunjin's eyes sweep over your frame, taking in the fluffy bunny slippers and the striped pajamas. You are too anxious to feel embarrassed.

"Sorry," you breathe, "I couldn't stand it."

Hyunjin looks tempted to tease you for a moment, before deciding against it. Instead, he smiles and brushes a stray strand of hair from your face. "I'm glad you came."

You feel unsure of what to do. For the first time in weeks, there is an awkward tension between the two of you. Eventually, Hyunjin steps forward and pulls you into a hug. You wrap your arms around his waist and press your cheek against his chest. The two of you stay like that for a moment before breaking apart.

"Take care of yourself in Hell, okay?"

Hyunjin nods.

"I don't think I'll ever see you again," you swallow, looking up to gaze at him with glassy eyes. "But thank you for everything."

Hyunjin stares at you mutely, eyes wide. Something flickers in his eyes that you can’t quite pinpoint.

Perhaps it is love.

"The days I spent with you were the happiest moments of my life. I'm glad I met you, Hyunjin."

You let his name sit heavy on your tongue, relishing the sweet aftertaste it leaves in your mouth. Hyunjin reaches out a hand to cup your cheek.

"I'll come back to you one day," he says, almost fiercely. "I will."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," you grin, pushing his hand away from your cheek.

"I plan to keep this one."

Hyunjin genuinely looks so determined that you don't bother arguing back. Instead, you smile and nod. "Okay. Come back to me, then. Someday."

Dawn breaks out across the sky, a soft orange sun peaking out from behind the gray clouds. You take a step back, wrapping your arms around yourself. "You probably should get going."

Hyunjin doesn't say anything, so you turn, almost awkwardly, and prepare to walk away. Hyunjin catches your wrist right before you leave and tugs you to him, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss.

You give a small gasp in surprise but allow him to press his lips against yours, hard. The kiss only lasts for a few moments before Hyunjin pulls back, breathing heavily.

You press a gentle kiss to his cheek before quickly turning to walk away. You don't think you'll be able to bring yourself to leave if you don't go now. Hyunjin watches you go, silently, eyes following your retreating figure.

By the time you've reached the lighthouse, he's disappeared.

Without Hyunjin, the months pass by in dreary monotone.

You move back to Seoul by the time autumn comes around to enroll into college, renting a tiny apartment in Pyeongchang. Although there have been a few who have expressed interest in you, your love life remains static and passive.

How can you have anyone else, you think, when you've had Hyunjin?

Instead, you throw yourself into your studies and try to forget about the boy from the summer, with the dark locks of hair and striking eyes. Admittedly, you only end up thinking of him more in your attempt to forget him, but it doesn't keep you from trying.

It is during a stormy winter night that Hyunjin first comes back to you.

You are sitting by your desk, finishing up a couple of college assignments when you hear a soft knock by your balcony door.

You are unsuspecting as you pull open the door, expecting it to be a pigeon collision or something similar— over the short expanse of time you've spent living in Seoul, you have learned of the shocking amount of moronic pigeons that subside on the streets of Seoul.

So your shock is plausible when you yank open the door to find Hyunjin standing on the balcony.

You let out a yell of surprise, falling backwards. Hyunjin stifles a laugh as he observes you, amusement dancing in his eyes.

Standing up quickly, you brush off your pants and before you can stop yourself—

"What are you doing here?"

Hyunjin looks slightly taken aback. "Why, don't you want to see me?"

"I mean, yes, but.." you falter, "I wasn't expecting it to be so soon."

"Have you missed me?"

You shrug. "Not really. I've been really busy lately."

(That was a lie. There hasn't been a day where you haven't thought of Hyunjin and missed him profusely.)

Hyunjin grins.

"You're a terrible liar."

You splutter in protest and Hyunjin laughs, flicking his bangs out of his eyes. "If it makes you feel any better, you're always on my mind too."

You flush at that, cheeks going red, and allow yourself a moment to admire him, taking in his feline eyes and lean frame. He looks so much healthier than how you left him, skin taking on a gentle glow. Dark wings sprout from his back, sleek and glossy. You let out a small gasp.

"You have wings?"

Hyunjin smiles. "That's kind of the point of being a demon, you know."

You approach him to run a hand along the black feathers. They are as soft as you imagined them to be, rippling like water underneath your touch.

"They suit you."

"Yeah?" Hyunjin smiles. "I've gotten pretty used to them."

Eventually, after a bit of jostling and adjusting, you manage to fit Hyunjin into the apartment. He keeps his wings folded neatly behind him, careful to keep from knocking anything to the ground. The moment you close the balcony door and turn to him, he steps forward to mold his lips against yours.

You wrap your arms around his neck and revere in the taste of Hyunjin against your lips. It's been a very, very long time since you've had him like this, pressed against you, lips moving against your own.

After a few moments, you break apart.

"How did you even get here in the first place?" you ask, breathless.

Hyunjin shrugs. "I pulled a few strings here and there. It took a lot of planning, but it all worked out, eventually."

You lean forward eagerly. "What's Hell like?"

"Way better than what they make it out as," Hyunjin laughs. "I can take you there, one day. Just to see what it's like. And to meet all my friends."

You end up spending the rest of the night sprawled on the couch, talking. You come to realize the magnitude of your yearning as you sit by Hyunjin, listening to him ramble about the breakfast buffet they have in Hell that happens to serve 279 different types of food. He runs a finger along the length of your forearm as he talks, eyes animated and alive.

You've spent so long pining for him that it feels surreal to have him beside you.

When Hyunjin runs out of things to ramble about, he turns to you expectantly. "What about you?"

"Nothing's really been happening with me," you smile ruefully, running a fingertip across the sleek expanse of his dark wings, "my life's really fucking boring compared to yours. Or at least, it's been extremely dull without you."

Hyunjin absorbs your words quietly.

When he turns to stare at you, there is nothing but raw emotion written across his face. His voice is low when he speaks up.

"It's not just you, you know. I miss you more than anything, too."

You bite your lip, looking down into your lap. "When are you leaving?"

"I'll have to leave by the morning," he says, gently.

"Will you ever come back again?"

"I'll have to," he smiles. "I can't go more than half a year without seeing your face at least once."

And then you shove his shoulder and ask him when the fuck did he get so cheesy and he laughs and insists that it's just his love for you and you indulge in the sense of normalcy— the sense of conventionality you feel as he sits next to you, head rested against your shoulder.

That's how you end up falling asleep. In a tangled mess of limbs on the couch, under a thick cocoon of blankets. Hyunjin's wings wrap around you as he presses you to his chest, sighing contentedly. You settle into his embrace and try your best to not think of what is to come by the time dawn breaks.

By the time you awaken, Hyunjin is already up. He is sitting by the couch, watching your sleeping form with something fierce and aching in his eyes.

You let out a sleepy groan, rubbing your eyes blearily. “Leaving already?”

Hyunjin nods wordlessly.

For some reason, it is much, much harder to let him go the second time.

This time, it is you who initiates the kiss. You draw him to you by the doorway of the apartment and press your lips against his, letting out a soft exhale of relief as your lips connect. Hyunjin kisses you back for a moment, before gently detangling your arms from him, stepping back. You watch him go silently.

You are already missing him by the time you close the door to your apartment.

Hyunjin comes back to you for the second time the next summer.

You decide to return to the island after your college semester ends, choosing to relive the nostalgia of last year. Your friends complain loudly when you announce your decision to them, but don't object. You spend the first month or so tending to the lighthouse, occasionally going on fishing trips or collecting shells.

It is not the same without Hyunjin.

You choose to stay at home during Chilseok— you enjoy nostalgia, but not to an extent that you would travel to the same place you and Hyunjin kissed exactly one year ago.

So instead of traveling to town to eat azuki bean rice cakes and grilled wheat flour noodles, you go fishing.

You are walking along the shore, clutching a pail full of fishing gear, when you spot Hyunjin's body, washed up on the shore. Your breath catches in your throat as you run to him, heart beating wildly in your chest.

There is dried salt caked over his collarbones and sand pressed to the pale column of his throat.

Nevertheless, he is breathing. You let out a deep sigh of relief.

It only takes you the rest of the evening to drag him back to the lighthouse. There is a sense of regularity in your actions, although the entire situation is exceedingly absurd.

After all, what are the chances of Hyunjin washing up on your island not once, but two times?

You are rinsing out the salt from his hair when you realize that his wings are gone.

Very slowly, and very carefully, you roll him over and find that his back is free of any blemishes or scars. There is only a smooth expanse of skin where black wings should be. Your breath hitches in your throat.

You don't allow yourself to hope.

Instead, you drape a blanket over his unconscious form and wait until he regains consciousness.

It doesn't take long.

In a few hours, his eyelids flutter open. Slowly, he sits up. You watch him carefully, sitting next to him by the couch.

His eyes flicker to you. For a long and terrible moment, you are afraid that he will not recognize you. That his memory will be completely erased, just like last time.

But then he utters your name, voice hoarse and hesitant. And you are throwing yourself onto him, laughing and hugging and sobbing all at once. Hyunjin groans as you pull him into a crushing embrace but smiles anyway, rubbing away the tears that spill from your eyes with his fingertips.

"How did you come back?" you gasp. "And where are your wings?"

Hyunjin grins sheepishly.

"It took me forever to convince Lucifer," he says, "but he gave in, eventually."

"Convince him of what?"

Hyunjin rolls his eyes. "What do you think? To turn me human, of course."

You stare at him, speechless.

After a long moment of silence, you finally speak up. "So you can, like, stay here now? With me? Forever?"

Hyunjin grins.

The euphoria that floods your veins at Hyunjin's smile is indescribable in its magnitude.

"How did you do it?" you breathe. "Hyunjin, how the fuck did you manage it?"

"It's not like Lucifer hasn't fallen in love before either," he shrugs, "he sympathized with me. Besides, I was constantly slacking off on my duties as a devil. Couldn't stop thinking about you."

He's hardly finished talking before you're tripping forward to kiss him, almost feverishly. You recall the past year you've spent, longing and waiting, and feel that it is indefinitely worth it now that he's here with you, in your cramped living room on the lumpy couch, salty-sweet against your lips.

Hyunjin wraps an arm around you, and you fall into his embrace.

You think that you will love him like this for infinity, in this lifetime, and in the thousands of other lifetimes you will chase him across.

"But love is impossible, and it goes on despite the impossible." — Ada Limón, In a Mexican Restaurant I Recall How Much You Upset Me.

AHHHH,

Screaming crying sobbing

I love this so much! So in feels at the moment 🥰🥺

Hiii,

Hope you’re okay and don’t stress yourself out too much!

I saw you wanted to requests so I was wondering if I could request a really fluffy soft imagine with hyunjin, in which he’s trying to wake the reader up but they’re like super sleepy and although he keeps trying he just gives up because they’re not gonna wake up 😂 and in the end he just gives and cuddles with them😌

Hope you have a good rest of your dayyy

Thank youu🥰

you might just be my favorite sshhh hehe it's nice hearing from you again!! though the reader is half awake in this one kinda

-

pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x reader

genre: fluff

wc: 600 words

warning/s: none

note: may or may not have been thinking of Hyunjin...

: ̗̀➛ © seungly 2022

not proofread

-

Hyunjin groans as protects his face from the sunlight through the windows, he must've forgotten to close the curtains. His eyes flutter open to the sight of the blank white ceiling, but the weight on his tummy steals his attention.

A smile tugs on the corner of his lips when he sees your arm draped around his tummy. He carefully turns to face your sleeping frame then there you were. The sunlight kisses your skin so gentle and pretty, although your mouth was slightly open as you snored. He didn't mind though, he thought you were cute.

He leans closer to press a kiss on your forehead, smiling more when you squirmed a little, "We need to get up, angel." he lets out a tired giggle as he forces himself to stay awake, yet, you remained unbothered, arms wrapped around him while you bury your face deeper into his chest.

Hyunjin wishes he could just hold you close to him all day, admiring how you look so peaceful under the morning light, but you can't so he pushes himself to stay awake. He places a hand on your shoulder to rock you gently, "Baby, wake up, hm?" no use. You remained lids closed, snoring like a baby in his arms.

Hyunjin finally gets the energy to wriggle out of your grip and sit up, his eyes turn to crescents as he lets out a laugh at your hibernating state, "Yah, we need to get up!." he raises his voice a little with a bit more cheer as he shakes you.

This time it seemed to have been successful as you groggily turn yourself to face your body towards the ceiling. You let out a huff, reaching out for your boyfriend, "Hyunjinnie~" you whine, "let's sleep."

Hyunjin pouts thinking he finally woke you, "We need to get up, It's almost 9am." despite what he said, he slowly lays down beside you.

You turn your head to face him with a lazy smile, "There you are..." you reach out to him, holding his cheeks in the palm of your hands, "cuddle me."

"We can't." he laughs nervously, "Chan's gonna scold us."

"There's not a day we don't get scolded." you giggle, finally hugging him again, "C'mon..." you whine once more.

"Nope!" he made sure to pop the 'p' as he unwraps your arm around him.

Your eyes jolt open, your face turning to a frown, "You don't love me?"

"What?" he scoffs, "That's not what I-"

"You don't love me anymore..." you pout, eyes failing to stay open.

Hyunjin sighs, rolling his eyes but the smile on his face saying otherwise, "You know I do." he takes a hold of your arm to wrap it around him, his hand traveling to cup your face, "I love you so much."

"But you don't wanna cuddle me..." your eyes completely shut but your words still come out almost subconsciously.

"I do wanna cuddle you!" he sighs, "but it's almost lunch. We have to get up, angel." he smiles softly, rubbing his thumb over the soft skin of your cheek.

"Okay..." you peek one eye open to see his cute fluffy morning face, "10 more minutes."

Hyunjin laughs - possibly in frustration - shaking his head at your antics, "Fine, you win. You're lucky I can't resist your beauty."

"I'm sleepy but not that sleepy, your charms aren't working on me." you giggle.

Hyunjin presses his lips against yours before pulling away to hold you in his arms. He doesn't usually like cuddling for so long but he'll make an exception for you- especially you.

-

Feedbacks are appreciated!! <33

[ Meeting The Group For The First Time w/ Seungmin ] -

Warnings: None

AFAB Reader

A/N: My first ever request?! 🥺

Summary: You're Seungmin's long-distance girlfriend and you finally meet the rest of Stray Kids

Masterlist

It had taken weeks of pestering and poking fun for the group to draw it out from Seungmin that he was seeing someone. It had taken even longer to convince him to talk about you, your name, your favourite things, how you were managing the distance between you. By the time he begrudgingly let Changbin, egged on by Hyunjin, say hello over FaceTime, you had been together for a little while. That is how it continued - precious phone calls in the middle of the night, friends occasionally waving over Seungmin’s shoulder as they briefly ask how you’re keeping, before Seungmin scurried to his bedroom to steal what little time you have to talk for himself. It was difficult, but it worked.

But, Seungmin had been different for a week or two - animated, loud, unlike himself in more ways than one. It was Chan who noticed first and was almost worried; he hadn’t heard your voice filtering from beneath Seungmin’s door for a little while, or caught sight of your face filling his phone screen over FaceTime. He couldn’t help but think the worst. When he found five minutes, he asked Seungmin casually how you were doing, whether you’d finished that project he had mentioned was keeping you busy and Seungmin replied so coolly, so calmly that Chan almost overlooked what he said. ‘Y/N is coming to visit. She’s flying out at the end of the month.’ 

If Chan hadn’t glanced at Seungmin’s face, he might have missed the shade of sangria painting his features, the smile he was seemingly trying to downplay. He repeated Seungmin’s words, ‘Oh, she’s coming to Korea?’

It was T-minus five minutes until the entire group knew and Seungmin had Changbin poking at his sides and Jeongin pacing at the foot of his bed. But, Seungmin shrugged the teasing off and chose to ignore the constant questioning of whether they would meet you until after he’d spoken to you. He had laid down a strict set of rules over dinner - if they wanted you to visit the dorm, and only if you wanted to, they would have to at least tidy the place first. There was to be no embarrassing him and, under all circumstances, a shirt was to be worn by each and every member for each and every minute of your visit. As much as they half-heartedly protested, he trusted them to make you feel welcome. 

He counted the days until your arrival and whilst he wanted to tell the others to stick it for the constant teasing that followed, Seungmin couldn’t deny how excited he was for your visit. For the first few days, his friends barely saw or received so much as a message from him. With an empty schedule, he made sure to spend every moment with you, showing you around the city, taking you to his favourite places, and catching up on everything that the distance between you had made difficult. Eventually, Jisung caught him in the hallway of the dorm before Seungmin left for your hotel and asked when they would meet you. 

At first, he darted around the question and he might have avoided answering at all if Chan hadn’t materialised to put forward a better argument. ‘I think Jisung means that we want to meet the person who is making you happy.’

So Seungmin found himself guiding you through the dorm, his hand a constant in your own, firm as if you might slip away if he lets go. He isn’t certain who is more apprehensive, you or him. He knows that his heart is thrumming in his chest, but he is not sure if it is nerves or the very fact he has you at his side after all this time causing it. The group is in the living room, even from the other side of the dorm he can hear Jisung and he almost winces because how can one person be so loud? A fleeting glance in your direction, a smile somewhere between excitement and uncertainty, and he presses on along the hallway. When he had asked whether you wanted to finally meet those who had been interrupting your calls for the past few months, you had immediately agreed – these were Seungmin’s closest friends, almost his brothers, and you wanted nothing more than to properly meet them. 

You’re almost at the kitchen when a door opens and suddenly you’re face to face with Felix and this really isn’t how you planned to meet the first of Seungmin’s friends - almost walking into one another. Maybe Felix is as surprised as yourself, but he doesn’t show it, shyly smiling and saying hello. Seungmin had mentioned how quiet Felix can be around fresh faces and to put him at ease, you squeeze Seungmin’s hand and tell Felix how lovely it is to finally meet him. He laughs quietly and briefly acknowledges Seungmin, before continuing to the living room. Part of you might have liked a moment to collect yourself, to lean into Seungmin and level your breathing, but Felix is kindly holding the door open for you both and Seungmin is stepping forward because if he doesn’t go now, he might be too shy to bring you back later. 

So you enter the living room, half-tucked behind Seungmin’s shoulder and the room wants to fall silent, only Chan knows better. A single glance in your direction and he is standing, trying to make himself seem a little less broad and big as he moves a little closer to welcome you into the space. ‘It’s nice to finally have you here,’ Chan says, those sitting nearby nodding in agreement, he adds with a glimpse to Seungmin, ‘He can finally stop talking about it.’

The pressure seems to suddenly alleviate - Chan is laughing as he returns to his seat and you watch as the others begin to smile too and all the while, you’re faintly aware of Seungmin lowering his head to your shoulder as to hide his face. It is cute to see him so flustered, even at the teasing of his friends and as much as you want to add to it a little yourself, Changbin is nudging Hyunjin’s shoulder and telling him to move along the sofa to make space for you to sit. It is as if you have always been here as you take a seat, their attention returning to the video game filling the television screen. 

Felix quietly asks how you’re finding your trip, how different it is from home and your anxiety seems to slowly dissipate. As you tell him how much you’re enjoying yourself, you softly squeeze Seungmin’s knee – as beautiful as his country is, it is him that you love. After a while, Hyunjin pulls his phone from his pocket and shares the embarrassing photograph he had snapped of Seungmin a few weeks ago. Seungmin sighs and accepts his fate, hiding his head in his hands and he too has the feeling that it has always been this way, that you have always been at his side. 

[ Crushing w/ Hyunjin ] -

Warnings: None

AFAB Reader

Requested: Yes!

Summary: You're Felix's childhood friend and Hyunjin develops a crush on you, only he thinks Felix has feelings for you.

Masterlist

Felix had introduced you to his friends almost six weeks ago and Hyunjin had started questioning his feelings exactly seventeen days later. Even after such little time, something about the way you carry yourself has him clinging onto the brief moments shared together. Sometimes you make little slip-ups when talking with him in Korean and sometimes these fumbles have you unknowingly saying things that make him blush, but he is somewhere between too shy and too flustered to correct you. The mishaps only seem to make him like you more. 

Maybe he wants to get to know you better – take you out for something more romantic than a watery coffee on your way to watch their practice on an otherwise dull Thursday afternoon. But he just can’t seem to bring himself to do it; he’s seen the way you look at Felix, all heart eyes and sweet laughter, as if he is the entire world and he knows Felix mirrors the expression. So Hyunjin holds back, spending time with you where he can, memorising your Starbucks order and promising to take you to his favourite place in the city, but always maintaining a respectful distance. 

When he sits down to paint in a desperate effort to clear his mind, he cannot focus, too distracted by the sound of your laughter slipping beneath his bedroom door. He knows you are with Felix and it carries across the dormitory, leaving him downhearted, able to paint only in shades of frigid blue. Hyunjin wants to be angry with himself for falling for the one person he feels he shouldn’t – you’re Felix’s childhood friend and worst of all, Felix might even let you go if he tries anything.

Hyunjin hides himself away for the rest of the day and is quiet when he bumps into Changbin in the dorm kitchen in the early hours of the morning. Hyunjin is distant and refuses to bite at Changbin’s teasing. It is pinned shoulders and a faraway look in his eyes and he seems to grow tenser as Felix guides you into the space. 

‘I’m just saying goodnight,’ You sigh and you suppose it’s directed at both Changbin and Hyunjin, but you’re a little shy to catch Hyunjin’s eye.

Hyunjin hears Changbin mutter a response and he thinks you’re about to leave, but you pause and finally glance his way. ‘Hyunjin, I’m visiting the art museum tomorrow, like you said.’

He falters, suddenly unsure of himself, unsure of what to say, so he nods his head and smiles, before you leave for the front door. 

‘What was that?’ Changbin questions as soon as they are alone, a smile already pulling at the edges of his mouth. Hyunjin’s misery suddenly seems to make sense, the pink hue cloying his features and betraying his feelings.

Hyunjin really tries to feign ignorance by shrugging Changbin’s question off, but Changbin is loud and persistent as if he hasn’t already worked it all out and Hyunjin eventually gives in and confesses. As soon as he has himself an answer, he tries to tell Hyunjin that he thinks you’re into him too, but he won’t have it and he quickly abandons Changbin in the kitchen.

It is three days later that Changbin first plays his hand. He is shameless at the best of times and he does not do things in half-measures. He pulls Jeongin from his seat, all but begging for him to sit beside him so Hyunjin has little choice but to take the chair beside you. When Hyunjin musters the courage to peel his eyes from his dinner plate, he realises that Changbin is staring his way, Jisung too and Seungmin. Whilst you’re busy filling your plate, they lift their eyebrows and appear smug and Hyunjin is suddenly unsure if this is all really happening. He cannot even be surprised that the truth is slowly trickling through the group, Changbin’s mouth known for being as big as his damn muscles, but it doesn’t make it any easier. 

All the while, he talks to you the best he can with their eyes bearing down on him and he is relieved that you seem to not notice their teasing. He hopes you do not notice the colour of his ears, he does not know that you are swept up in how sweet and kind he is, that you have been since first meeting him. The way he glances at you, as if you are the only one in the room, and asks about your day has your fingers nervously fidgeting beneath the table.

Felix recognises your nervousness. He would take great pride in stitching his two friends together, he just isn’t sure quite how to do it. 

Hyunjin spends weeks navigating awkward encounters with you and Felix. He walks into the living room, unaware that you are enjoying a lazy afternoon together. One glimpse of Felix’s arm vaguely near your shoulder and Hyunjin is slowing, saving himself from entering any further into the space. Before either of you can speak, he is already stuttering, but saying nothing at all. As if suddenly remembering something, he is backing out from the living room without so much as another glance in your direction. The moment leaves you bewildered, but you let it go. It seems to become a habit and you are left wondering why Hyunjin can’t seem to stomach being in the same room with you. He just can’t shake the feeling that each time he’s interrupting a moment more intimate than just friends – like Felix might be about to make a move at any given second.

It only stops when Felix catches Hyunjin alone. He quietly asks if he is okay, that he hasn’t seen him much recently, him abandoning their age-old routine of coffee after practice. Hyunjin answers calmly, coolly circumventing the uncomfortable truth that he’s stopped because it is painful to see you at Felix’s side. Felix is gentle in his questioning and he slowly builds up to what he truly wants to ask, ‘Do you not like Y/N? It’s just you used to talk to her and now you always seem to disappear when she visits.’

Hyunjin cringes, he wants to kick himself. ‘Is that what she thinks?’

Felix half-heartedly shrugs. 

‘God, no,’ Hyunjin sighs, ‘It isn’t that.’

Felix nods and is quiet for a moment as he wonders whether he ought to share the secret you’d whispered to him a few weeks ago in the safety of his bedroom. He isn’t one to spill, but Hyunjin appears grave and he cannot see you upset for another day. ‘Y/N likes you. Like a lot.’

At first, Hyunjin doesn’t entirely comprehend the weight of Felix’s words – he knows that you’re easy-going, able to make friends with most you meet and why would he be any exception? So Felix has to clumsily explain himself until he is as flushed as Hyunjin himself and the kitchen suddenly seems a whole lot more hallowed than it really is. Hyunjin is hesitant to make any sort of admission, or acknowledgement of his feelings and awkwardly asks how Felix is taking your confession. The situation seems to grow messier still and Felix is astonished as he starts to untangle Hyunjin’s understanding. ‘Do you think I’m interested in Y/N?’

Hyunjin agrees as if it ought to be obvious. Felix doesn’t quite laugh, he’s too considerate for that, but makes a sort of ‘Oh’ and pats Hyunjin on the shoulder. 

‘I thought I was always interrupting something between you,’ Hyunjin sighs.

Felix is a little embarrassed at the thought and quickly sets Hyunjin right. He hadn’t seen one of his closest friends from childhood in years, naturally they were going to spend an unfathomable amount of time together catching up. The process of uncrossing crossed wires is slow and awkward because it is Hyunjin and Felix, but somehow they seem to come to some sort of understanding that Hyunjin is an idiot. Before he leaves, Felix asks whether this is why the others have been making such a fuss and acting weirder than usual and Hyunjin sheepishly nods.

When Felix later relays his conversation to you, with some parts redacted, you’re caught somewhere between disbelief and anger. This guy had you almost convinced that he hated you and yet, was crushing on you the entire time? For a moment Felix wonders whether you’re going to cry or curse Hyunjin out, but you do neither, instead stepping past him and into the dorm hallway. As frustrated as you feel, you aren’t brave enough to march into Hyunjin’s bedroom, so you silently pray that he is somewhere else. Perhaps Felix should call your name or make some effort to stop you, but Chan emerges at the sound of your rushed footsteps and catches him by the arm. If Chan hadn’t been so busy in the studio recently, he might have cottoned on to the situation sooner than anyone else, but his being away has allowed Hyunjin to fester and he is almost relieved to see something happening finally. He is confident as he reassures Felix that you’ll sort things between yourselves and he invites him to his bedroom to show him the music that has been occupying his time as a welcome distraction.

You’re able to see Hyunjin stretched across the length of the sofa and before you even consider checking if he is alone, you raise your voice: ‘Hwang Hyunjin!’

Surprise sends him to his feet and you’re glad that he is alone after all as you muster the courage to march toward him, stopping only when there is a couple of metres between your bodies. His mouth is moving like he wants to say something, but you’re faster, ‘You’ve been avoiding me all this time because you like me? Have you ever spoken to a girl before?’ 

Hyunjin is faintly aware of your finger punctuating the words against his chest, but he is caught on the realisation that Felix must have shared with you what he had confessed. There are words spilling from your mouth, but he isn’t really listening, he hasn’t seen you angry before and there is something so cute about it, if he lets it slip though you might swipe at him. Without realising, he is looking down at you and softly smiling even though the jab of your finger is starting to hurt a little. His lack of resistance causes you to slow and finally fall silent, only to catch his eye.

‘Don’t look at me like that when I’m angry with you,’ you frown.

Hyunjin smiles just a little wider. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realise what I was doing.’

He hears the little huff that leaves your mouth and forces himself to brush his fingers against your own in a silent plea for forgiveness. ‘I’d like to take you out.’

For a moment, you do not reply and he almost panics. The fear that you’re truly furious with him is ugly and he has to fight the urge to flee before you speak. A smile plays at the edges of your mouth and he knows you’re toying with him, ‘I was actually thinking of asking Felix out.’ 

He watches as you roll on the balls of your feet, almost pleased with yourself and he playfully rolls his eyes and looks away, supposing he deserves that. As a childhood friend of Felix, he should have known what to expect and as embarrassed as he is at being outed as an idiot, he’s suddenly grateful for Felix’s meddling. 

[ Bang Chan Hard Thought ] -

18 + Content & Swearing

Masterlist

I’ve just been thinking about Chan fucking you until you’re dumb. The press of your nails into his shoulder blade is enough to break the skin, to leave behind a welt that’ll haunt Chan for the next couple of days, but it is a half-hearted effort to try and keep yourself grounded and he doesn’t stop you. The noises slipping from your mouth were once quiet, almost silent sighs, but the feeling of Chan slowly slipping in and out has stoked such a feeling in your abdomen that his name is the only word you’re able to string together. He really ought to take a break to bring you back to him, to gently remind you to be quiet because you’re not alone in the dorm, but he can’t seem to bring himself to do it. Even now, there is a flush searing across his features at the thought of you being heard, but something about the idea of reminding his friends that you’re his stirs the heat in the pit of his stomach. 

Chan’s fingers are bruising on your thigh, pinning you into place, as if you have half a thought of moving away. The necklace he hasn’t gotten around to taking off after his schedule is brushing over your chest, sometimes falling in front of your eyes, cool to the touch. After a while, Chan adjusts a little so he’s able to see your glassy eyes, the tremble of your lower lip as you say his name. He finally slows the movement of his hips and pries his hand from the bare skin of your thigh, only to pass his thumb over your cheek. Maybe it’s the sight of you, so needy, so desperate for him, maybe it’s the warmth and the wetness, but he has to brace himself so as to not come undone just yet. In a moment, he silently asks whether you’re okay, before he presses his lips to the spot behind your ear and guides his hand to your throat. When he continues the roll of his hips against your own, he is less gentle, he moves slowly, but presses hard, deep enough that your brow furrows and your teeth close on your bottom lip. Chan lets out breathy sighs against your skin, huffing out a quiet ‘fuck’ and whispers of your name.

The best thing anyone could read at this moment

Head over heels - Lee Know pt2

First part here (Can be read as a standalone)

Warning: Cursing(I can't help it). mentions of drinking. The reader is overthinking in the beginning but the end is fluffy. Minho is a menace and I love him for it. I can't think of anything else please tell me if I missed anything. Reader is gender neutral.

Masterlist

A/N- Hey lovelies, I'm back with the continuation of the previous Minho drabble. I wasn't thinking of writing the second part but I got inspired so here we are. I really hope you'll like it. Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated. I'd love to hear what you guys think. Thank you for all the love and support you give me, it really means so much to me. Please take care of yourselves, love you all so much!! <3 <3

The one and only sun, the sourse of light and basically all life on earth was sometimes a huge dick. Like what do you mean you're brutally waking someone up from their sweet slumber on 8 am on sunday? That's just evil. Do you know what they were up to all night? Maybe they need their much needed rest. Talk about inconsiderate.

Grumbling curses at the bright rays of sunshine which felt like you were being poked in your eyeballs you turned to your side, trying to escape them. You furrowed your face into your pillow hoping to fall back asleep. But you couldn't. Because you realized couple of things. First of all your so called pillow was clearly breathing. Second of all the familiar comforting smell clearly belonged to your best friend. Third, how the fuck was Minho's chest so firm yet so soft?

Hold on, hold on. Why were you sharing a bed with Minho? Normally whenever he slept over he opted for using the guest bedroom or the couch if he was too lazy to get up. It was rare of you to share a bed. Wait did you do something?

You tried to recall the events of the last night. You were at the club. Minho got a bit drunk, you went to get him some water. Some deuchbag tried to hit on you but Minho scared him off. You got to your apartment. You asked him to help with detangling your Chains and you two made out for hours, you talked in between and some time into talking about some random stuff Minho fell asleep.

You made out wit your best friend! What were you thinking?! You're clearly into him, you have been for a while, but what about him? Okay you knew Minho wouldn't just kiss you out of nowhere but still! You have been extra flirty lately but he hasn't given you a hint or a clue that he romantically likes you like that. Maybe it was just a spur of moment thing. Let's say he wanted to test things out. Maybe he wanted to test if he liked you like that? Oh god, what if he regreted it? What if you ruined everything. Oh God, what if this messed up your friendship. You couldn't live without him in your life. Maybe it was an overdramtic announcement but he was too dear for you. He was the reason you believed in suolmated be it platonic or romantic. God you shouldn't have indulged in kissing him when you knew he was still a bit tipsy. But he was so close tho and his lips looked so pretty and kissable... Oh what the hell?

The hands tightening around you stopped your train of thoughts. Great you woke him up now. You were mad at the damn sun for waking you up and now you were the one to wake him up? Great job.

Minho's groggy yet soft morning voice startled you. "I can physically feel you overthinking. It's too early, go to sleep."

"But Minho." You cringed at yourself at how whiny your voice sounded. Minho opened his eyes to give you an unimpressed look. He wrapped his hands more tightly and brought you even closer. You both loved and hated how at peace you felt whenever you were around him. Being between his harm made every cell in your body relax, except your heart, which felt like it would burst any second. When did you even manage to fall so hard for him?

"Do you like me?" The suddenness of his question startled you. You couldn't with him sometimes.

Unimpressed with the lack of answer Minho opened his eyes and full on glared at you. Normally you would laugh it off or try to make him well not upset but now all you could think about was how could a human look so breathtaking first thing in the morning. With messy hair and slightly dark circles from the few hours of sleep he got. He was like a walking renaissance painting what the hell? Minho was about to let go of you when you started talking. Well you had to say something.

"It pisses me off how pretty you look first thing in the morning."

You blinked at you once, then twice then rolled his eyes. His hand came up to your cheek and you thought that maybe it was one of those rare moments when he was sweet and affectionate, but no, you were proven wrong when he slightly pulled on the skin of your cheek.

"First of all, I'm always pretty. Second of all I could say the same to you." He let go of your skin and now slightly grazed your soft skin. "Third of all you're getting distracted sweetheart." This smooth fucker. You could feel your face start to heat up.

"You have never called me sweetheart."

"Hm, do you not like it?" Minho mused and looked at you with eyes full of mischief. The fucker knew he was getting you all flustered up.

"I didn't say I didn't like it."

"You're cute." Why was he so keen on teasing you today?

"Shut up!" - You couldn't help but groan. You didn't fully appreciate how flustered he made you feel.

The smirk on his face grew even wider if that was possible."Make me!"

If he thought that you wouldn't retaliate! You looked at him with challenging eyes. "I just might!"

"So you do like me." He said so casually while playing with strand of your hair you were taken aback for a second. God you hated how your heart basically did a backflip at his soft voice.

"You're infurating." You wanted to hide your face now, you knew this little asshole was having the time of his life watching you get this flustered.

"And you're not denying." Why would you? He knew you liked him.

"One fact doesn't exclude the other smartass!"

"So you're admitting it." How was he so casual about it?

"Maybe I am. What are you going to do about it?" You challenged him. Proud of yourself when you saw that your comment got to him and suprised him for a second.

"Then, I am going to kiss you senseless like you're pretty butt deserves to. And I'm going to take you some place fancy for our first date." To make his point across he even took your hand and softly kissed it.

"Partner?" You couldn't hide your surprise as well as your hopefulness.

"Aww you think my butt is pretty." This was the only response you could muster up. At this point you were amazed how was your heart still working.

"Well of course I think my partner's butt is pretty." Did he just say what you thought he did?

"Bold of you to assume You have any way out of this relationship." What a romantic. Why was he so him?

You decided to tease him a little, after all that's all he did all morning. "What if I'm tired of you?"

"You can always sit the fuck down." Again, so romantic.

"What if there's no chair?" Based on the smirk on Minho's face you knew he was going to make it dirty. "Okay never mind, I got it. Okay, what if we lose chemistry?"

"I have seen breaking bad, we will cook something up."

"Okay you're clearly quoting that one tiktok I sent you."

Minho glared at you for a second. "Doesn't mean I'm not being genuine."

"What if your cats hate me?" Minho rolled his eyes at you.

"They love you and you know it."

"Yeah, I'm way too adorable for them to not love me. Okay what if..." Minho didn't let you finish.

"No what if's. I love you and it's clear you feel the same. I knew what I was doing when I kissed you last night and I know what I'm doing right now. You're mine and I'm going to treat you like a royalty until you let me. Don't overthink your pretty mind now. Let's just cuddle for a while and then I will take you out for the fanciest breakfast ever." Again not really romantic but the butterflies in your stomach still decided to have a French revolution in your tummy.

"I still hate you"

"Whatever you say sunshine." He leaned in and sealed his lips with yours.

Heyy im a new writer here on tumblr and i write for kpop idols!!

If anyone wants to or is willing to you guys can send in requests/asks and i'll do my best to write for your desires 💜

Heres what kind of genres i'll be writing for: Fluff, Angst, Smut and many more‼

Heres all the groups i will be writing for: Enhypen, Riize, Nct, Stray Kids, Txt, Zerobaseone, Boynextdoor, Bts, and once again many more‼

I'm really looking forward to everyones requests/asks and don't be afraid to send in anything i'm very open minded 🫶🩷

So sorry if this is too awkward. But can I get a oneshot about Hyunjin comforting his girlfriend when she’s on her period. I honestly have the worst pain, it’s unreal! Maybe he comforts her and soothes her when she has really bad cramps??

It’s totally fine if you don’t wanna write it!

ily

Pairings. Hyunjin x fem!reader

Warnings. None just Hyunjin being the best boyfie ever

Word count. 0.5K

A/n. Hii you're my first request ahh this is exciting i really hope this was able to fullfill your desires and to you and the other readers please let me know if this was good all the feedback is needed. One more thing this is 100% not awkwaed at all like i said i will write about almost anthing anddd i hope you're feeling better my love, ilyt🫶🩷

Your pov

Being in bed all day might seem wonderful to most people but not when you're in this much pain.

I've been laying all day twisting and turning hoping that this pain would somehow come to an end. But these cramps seriously felt like they were never going to go away.

I was on my phone when i heard the front door open and your probably why would leave the front door open?

Well i left open knowing my boyfriend was coming over to spend some with each other, not having a glue what this guy was doing.

"Hey Hyunnie whats all that stuff for?"

He let out a soft chuckle "Their for you my love i know you have your period i got the notification from the tracking app."

"Hyunjin really? i dont even track my period."

"Well im doing it for you." He said as he let a cute laugh

"Okay baby i bought all your favorite snacks, a heating pad and of course all the kisses and cuddles you need."

"Oh thank you Jinnie you have no idea how much i needed this."

"I know baby its never easy going through this every month, I'll go heat up the heathing bad baby just give me a few minutes i'll be back"

He smiled at me while giving me a small peck on my lips.

He came back after around 10 minutes (i had to google how long it takes to heat up a heating pad😭)

He then placed the heating pad on my stomach and i couldn't help but look at while i was smilibg like a idiot, he was the only who could ever cheer me up within any moment im truly lucky to have him and call him mine.

"What are you thinking about honey."

"Nothing really just how lucky i am to be able to call you mine all you ever is make me like a princess."

"You don't do this only when i am on my period you do this at any given you can and Hyunnie i still can never find words to thank you."

"Thank me? Oh baby you never have to thank me not now not ever i'm supposed to do this is for you, its my job and duty for you to make sure you get treated like a princess, so you don't ever have to thank me."

I was starting to tear up a little just knowing my boy cares about me this much.

He definitely noticed as he was previously sitting on the bed now he changed positions now laying next to mine.

He leaned in a little slowly planting a soft kiss giving me all the butterflies.

I smiled in to the kiss as he caresses my cheek and delicately rub his thumb against it

I pulled away to bury my head in his chest, never wanting this moment to end, to always be with, stay with like this forever and never escaping from it.

Hyunjins pov

Y/n is always telling me how lucky she is to have me but god i am the most luckiest man to ever exist, to able be to get to love her, be with whenever i can, taking care of her like this i truly am the most blessed man ever and let alone to be able to call this girl my mine feels like a dream.

Song:

chapter 21: changbin u get no bitches wc: 936

i was terrified to face seungmin again. i felt really bad for how i reacted the other night, but i was genuinely so nervous.

i waited and paced around my dorm room for a good 5 minutes before i got a text that he was here. i felt my hands shake as i sent a reply in acknowledgement. i was really out of it. i walked downstairs to the lot to see seungmin waiting for me. he was sitting on the top of his car as he heard my foot steps approaching. he smiled at me and opened the passenger seat's door. my heart was already racing at the action, as i blushed and entered his car.

he walked back around to get in his own seat and shut the door before he spoke up. "what did you want to talk to me about?" he started before he drove off to who knows where. i froze in my seat and stared down at my fidgeting hands. "about that... well it was about the other day we were with each other," i couldn't find the right words to say as i spoke.

he waited patiently for me to say something, but i was too nervous that if anything came out it would be too incomprehensible to understand. he stared at me with huge puppy eyes for around 3 seconds at a stop light before turning his eyes back to the road to go.

"look, i understand if you don't like me, it's completely o-"

"i like you too, seungmin." i cut him off before he could ramble on any further. he kept his eyes on the road but a small smile crept up on his face, along with the color of bright red spilling all over his cheeks. i laughed and lightly punched him in the shoulder. "you are smiling like an idiot." "how could i not? the girl i like likes me back" he kept smiling the entire car ride. i just found him absolutely adorable that i couldn't even look at him.

i looked out the window for a bit with my hands in my lap, before i felt another hand grab my own. i flinched a bit before even realizing that my fingers were intertwined with his. seungmin's smile somewhat faded, trying to keep his composure, still keeping his eyes on the road. he was now driving with one hand, which is somewhat damn attractive to me.

we reached the nearest shopping center, where we decided to have an arcade date. it was simple, but probably one of the best dates i've ever had.

"seungmin, how and why are you so good at claw machines? i tried like 5 times before you got it in one!"

"y/n, i think that's called a skill issue. anyways, here's your hello kitty plushie."

we shopped around the mall for a bit before heading out. as we walked around the parking lot, seungmin spoke up. "y/n?" he called my name. "yes seungmin?" "what are we?" he asked curiously, since we didn't really mention anything about it earlier.

i froze in my tracks as we reached his car, as he stopped right next to me staring down at me. i looked at my feet that were slowly lifting off of their toes, struggling to find something to say. obviously, i wanted to be with him, i think it was pretty obvious. but was i ready?

"look y/n, we don't have to be anything. i understand how it is with soobin and all, i completely understa-" i cut him off once again by giving him a small peck on his lips to shut him up. i pulled away from his face and laughed at him. he was absolutely in shock at what i just did before he smiled at me with the brightest puppy eyes i've ever seen. i have never seen him this soft before, it was so cute. around his friends, he was always the savage and playfully rude type, which i also found cute.

he slightly rolled his eyes sarcastically before speaking again. "that still didn't answer my question, idiot" he smirked, waiting for me to use my words. i rolled my eyes back at his statement. "we are whatever you make it to be," i replied wanting him to make that move, since i knew he was too scared to. oh i thought wrong.

"fine then. y/n, may i be your boyfriend?" i was surprised at his words, since he switched it from 'will you be my girlfriend'. he then looked down at the ground, too scared to make eye contact with me. it was so cute in the moment that even if i wanted to say no, i couldn't. i grabbed his hand, causing him to look back into my eyes. "yes seungmin, i would love for you to be my boyfriend."

he looked me in the eyes, not finding any other words to say. all he could do was smile. not that i was complaining, i loved his smile more than anything right now.

-

he dropped me back off at my dorm for the night. i attempted to sleep but i couldn't even bother to close my eyes. i stared at the ceiling for the next like hour or something in attempt to gather my thoughts. they were good thoughts,of course, but for some reason i just couldn't even try to get the moment out of my head.

i opened my phone and posted to twitter, just to spread the news to all the friends.

what a fucking night.

previous chapter • masterlist • next chapter

taglist: @sweetrabbit @youmake1mistake @hyunniecrush

summary: late at night, kim seungmin finds a girl standing in the pouring rain, and offers her his small umbrella. after she gets home, seungmin never caught her name, or much of what she looks like. chaos strikes when the two college students attempt to find each other's identities.

a/n: oh my god!! its happening yall!!!! besides me fangirling over this moment, we are finally in the seungmin x y/n era!! LOL! thank you so much for supporting secret secret so far! you guys have given me so much support and it has made me so happy to hear you're enjoying the series <3 stay tuned for the next few chapters as we near the end of this smau <3 -mel

a/n 2: also this chapter is not proof read lol! if something doesn't make sense or there are grammatical/spelling errors just try to ignore it </3 it is 2:30am right now so i am exhausted trying to get this chapter out, but otherwise, enjoy! <3

🥹💔💔💔

it's the little things for me

chan: folding the laundry as he admires you while you scream to lady gaga on a friday night, cleaning your spectacles/ sun glasses for you, feeding you with his own chopsticks, making sure you're on the opposite side of the traffic while crossing the street, taking strands of hair out of your mouth when you're asleep, making sure he always has time for you, rocking you in his arms while you cry, sharing the tiniest of umbrellas even if you BOTH get wet in the process, silently wiping sauce off your face while you ramble on about the latest gossip at work/uni, sends flowers to your place on random days, saying he loves you more than he loves the ocean. lee know: wearing even the most cringe frilly pink aprons you'll get him which stay stuff like 'kiss the cook' or 'mr. good lookin is cookin', learning how to make all your comfort foods, buying you stuffed toys resembling your childhood pets, always making you taste test the food he's cooking, "do you want it to be spicier? it'll help with the cold.", oiling and massaging your hair on sunday mornings, talking to you like he does with his cats whenever you're sick, screeching to songs in the car, buying stupid matching sunglasses, sharpening your pencils for you, leaving sooni, doongi and dori at his parents' claiming you spend more time with them than him, cracking your fingers when he's bored.

changbin: washing your dishes no matter how much you insist you can do it, keeping in touch with your family once you introduce them to him, giving you piggy back rides, letting you make stupidly cute hairstyles with his hair, sleeping with your stuffed toys when you're not at home, always packing your favourite toothpaste because he knows how much you despise the hotel ones, letting you win at arm wrestling, racing with you to the nearby convenience store.

hyunjin: learning your drink orders for different moods and seasons, slipping little encouraging notes with the cutest doodles into your bag, jacket pockets, underwear pile, EVERYWHERE, clicking lots of candid polaroids of you, always keeping a lipbalm in his pocket for you, making a list of places you want to visit and taking you on surprise trips, rubbing your noses together, drawing on your arms while you watch a movie, listening to you rant about your passions all. night. long.

jisung: always wanting you to share new music you like with him, buying you guys matching fluffy house slippers with the most bizarre stuff like cheese puffs or flamingos on them, decorating your shared space with childhood photos of you, singing karaoke with you until 4 am, watching panda and hamster videos together, singing you awake every morning, playing careless whisper as a way of asking you to dance with him, binging studio ghibli movies with you on days off, afternoon naps, watching fireflies together, weird nicknames like 'cake batter eater' or 'hairbrush stealer', rewatching childhood cartoons, doubling over in laughter one second and having the most serious conversations the next, "would you still love me if i was a worm?"

felix: reporting accounts which abuse skzoo >:(, always stocking up on your favourite snacks, letting you tease him over his small hands, giving you the best massages after long days, whispering and quiet laughing in silent spaces, biting your shoulder whenever you expose him in front of the boys, showing off his latest dance moves while dusting the house, giggling and rolling around in fresh sheets you just finished putting on, being your personal heater during the winters, miserably gardening together, smiling in between kisses.

seungmin: learning small phrases in your mother tongue and making sure his pronunciation is on spot, wearing animal onesies together, waking you up with your favourite cup of coffee every morning, giving you head scratches when you can't sleep, cuddling together on a rocking chair, fighting over who pays for the bill, going to fancy stores and trying out clothes only to leave without buying anything, always finding you first whenever there's a blackout, going to the local adoption center and cooing at puppies together, tracing your features while you sleep, a quick forehead kiss before he rushes to work, replacing photocards you have of other members with his own.

jeongin: "mentioned you in their story", staying on call with you when you're taking a cab at night, wearing normal shoes when he goes out with you, eating caramel popcorn at 2 am, getting on a subway and going to the nearby town because you heard it's raining there and needed a reason to dance together, laying his head on your lap while reading manga, wearing fuzzy socks, trying out stupid tiktok couple trends, pretending to be a toxic couple while grocery shopping,

Crying… literally crying 😭

Isn't it Lovely?

🖤: Hyunjin x Reader | Han Jisung x Reader 🖊️: approx 6.3K 🚨: Hanahaki AU, there is so much trauma and Angst. Major character death. No hopeful ending. Angst- No Comfort. A/N: I am so sorry... Hyune I'm so sorry.. Jisung... I am so sorry.. Reader... I am so sorry...

Play this while you read? | Mood Board | ART

It was starting to get even harder to breathe. Hidden away in your apartment you forced yourself to finish the letters you started. You thought keeping it away from everyone was the best choice but as you sit in the darkness of your room you wish you had told someone. Anyone. You didn’t want to do this alone anymore. The more you wrote the more you cried, the more you wished you had just told one person- so one person would be there with you. 

You knew you couldn't tell anyone. You knew exactly what they had done had they known from the beginning. They’d have dragged you straight to a hospital and forcibly removed what slowly, and not so silently killed you. Your phone buzzed beside you and slowly you checked your messages. Jisung. You smile lightly at your phone. Tomorrow, you’d give him the box of letters. He’ll give out each letter. He’ll understand, right?

You sign the card meant for the top of the box addressed to Jisung,

Ji, 

Take this box and keep it safe. Please don’t open it, don’t look inside not until next week okay? Don’t ask me questions, just trust me okay? Next week open it, and give everything to the people they’re addressed to. Please. 

Thank you Ji, for always being there for me.

One more week. One more and everyone will know. Avoiding letting anyone know was always the best option. You know Jisung would have ripped you right out of the apartment and brought you to a doctor but you couldn’t live like that- having the flowers delicately taken out of you while they knowingly ripped out the feeling of love altogether. It would be no way to live- without the memory or feeling of ever being in love again. You couldn’t handle that- living as a shell of who you once were. 

One more week and you wouldn’t be on this earth anymore and everyone around you would be moving on with their lives. They’d have received the letters you had written them- maybe even shed a tear but eventually, they would come to forget you. Changbin would still be happy with Felix, and Seungmin would be attending his lectures and still trying to charm the girl in this English class. Jeongin would be cuddled up with his new girlfriend struggling to figure out what to do for their month anniversary. Chan would still be babying all of them, Minho would still be attempting to adopt new cats Hyunjin- Hyunjin would still be with the girl he had met in his art lecture. He would be happy, and in love as he always dreamed of. No one appreciated love the way he did, the way he saw love in such a beautiful way. The way you knew he would treat her with absolute respect and adoration, she would never need to fear losing him. He wasn’t that kind of guy. Life would simply, go on. 

Jisung would be the only one who would probably be more hurt than the rest. Being your best friend for so long. He had grown up with you, he had always been there for you. He was there when you found out you had the gene, the stupid goddamn gene that landed you where you were now. Cursed by your genetics, and betrayed by your heart- Hanahaki had taken over. Jisung always warned you to be careful who you’d fall in love with, he always told you to keep your heart closed off unless you knew for sure they could love you back- you did for the most part. You had your walls up until you met Hwang Hyunjin. 

Hwang Hyunjin destroyed the walls you had built to shield your very delicate heart. Hwang Hyunjin was the definition of a dream. Sweet, caring, attentive and the way he viewed the world was so beautiful. Anyone would have fallen for him, everyone did. Not only did he have such a gorgeous personality but he was also so incredibly handsome. Delicate features, and a toned body. He was ethereal, to say the least, a deadly combination of looks and sincerity. How could anyone not have fallen for someone who could easily be mistaken for an angel? 

You had first met Hyunjin through Jisung. They had met in college. The music major and the artist. They hadn’t always gotten along but once they realised they had a lot more in common than they had originally thought they became inseparable. The day you met Hyunjin was on his twenty-first birthday. It was cold out, the leftover freezing rain from the winter being poured out upon the earth as he and Jisung ran into your apartment soaked and shaking. You had quickly run to Jisung failing to properly notice the other standing beside him, taking his hands in your own as you tried to warm up the shivering boy. 

“Jisung you’re soaked! Oh my god get in the shower before you catch a cold I’ll dry your clothes!” You worried, 

“Y/N..” Jisung smiled, his teeth still chattering from the cold. “Y/N This is Hyunjin, he’s-” he lets out a soft sneeze, 

“Yes yes the artist Jisung I know- now get in the shower and warm up!” you look to the other boy, Tall, with long dark -wet hair that stuck to his face. His body trembling, “And you!” you say, “You’re next. For now in front of the heater!” you pointed to the small space heater you had set up in the living room where you were originally sitting- reading. Jisung hurries himself to the washroom, and Hyunjin sits quietly on the spot on the floor in front of the heater- his hands up in front of it as he attempts to keep them warm. “You’re shaking” you sigh as you drape your duvet over him. 

“T-thanks,” he says softly, “You know, spring shouldn’t be this cold.” 

“Well you two shouldn’t be running around in the rain, what were you thinking?” You said at you patter him down- 

“Han said we’d have more fun here, apparently Birthdays should be spent with friends and not at home watching dramas” Your eyes widen at the confession, 

“Happy birthday.” You smile, 

“Thank you-” 

“Now, this is going to sound weird but I really don't want you getting sick especially not on your birthday- undress in the bedroom and keep that blanket on you until your turn, I’ll get a head start on drying your clothes.” Hyunjin sits up watching you as you speak. He nods getting up slowly from his spot on the floor and heads into your bedroom. A few minutes later he emerges cocooned in your duvet clutching his clothes. He hands them to you and follows you to the laundry room- you throw them into the wash alongside Jisung's and run them on a light cycle. You were sure Jisung had left clothes somewhere in the guest room the question was where. With Hyunjin trailing you like a lost puppy you wandered into the spare bedroom and riffled through the closet. Surely he had something. You spot the blue gym bag buried deep in the back of the closet, with a light tug you drag it out of its spot and peek inside. Gym shorts, a tank top and a pair of sweats. 

“Well it’s not much, and you’re definitely taller than Ji but it’ll have to do until your clothes are clean and dry.” You hand him the bag, he fishes out the sweats and bows politely. 

“Thanks, honestly Your blankets are soft and all but uh- It’s weird being under someone's blankets naked and it wasn’t even for a good reason.” He laughs, and your brain freezes at the realization of what he’s saying. Your cheeks heat up at the image of Hyunjin under the blanket- naked for a ‘good reason’ No, no no- don’t think of that. 

“Uh, not to interrupt whatever the fuck is going on here but-” Jisung clears his throat at the door, his lower body wrapped in his designated towel, “Mind tossing the bag?” Hyunjin laughs as he holds the blanket closed with one hand and tosses the gym bag towards Jisung who almost manages to drop it as it falls into his hands, 

“I’ll uh-” you mutter, “Grab you a towel.” 

The rest of yours and Jisung's friends arrive an hour after the whole ordeal alongside a few others you didn’t quite fully know. Jisung sat happily in his shorts and tank while Hyunjin sat in front of the heater in Jisung's sweats. 

“Classy Hyune,” a boy you had seen on campus but never spoke to, “Meet a girl and suddenly you’re shirtless.” He smiles as he walks in behind Chan, 

“Y/N!” Chan smiles, “Taking care of the children I see” 

“Honestly as a single mother of three, you should really be helping out here more Chris.” You laugh, 

“Please I’m the one that takes care of Changbin and Felix. Your only responsibility is that one” Chan giggles as he points to Jisung. 

“Mom- Dad stop fighting” Felix chimes in, Hyunjin still sat quietly as he watched you interact with your friends. Jeongin swiftly takes his hoodie off and throws it at Hyunjin’s face. 

“Put a shirt on you heathen, we’re in the presence of a nice girl who’s helped you not get sick and you thank her by traumatizing her with your bare chest?” the same boy who has mentioned Hyunjin’s outfit- or lack thereof scoffs, “Apologies, he has no manners, I’m Yang Jeongin, unfortunately, i’m friends with the birthday boy so I will be taking responsibility for him” you smile at the boy, he seems sweet. Hyujin throws the sweater on, still carefully watching as everyone talks around him. 

“Please. Nice girl? Y/N spends half her time pants-less and the other half shirtless. If you think Hyune’s chest is traumatizing wait till you see her-” You give Seungmin a punch before he finishes his sentence, “SEE WHAT I MEAN? ANYTHING BUT NICE.” 

After that day the nine of you began to spend more time together. Hyunjin was often quiet, he enjoyed sitting back and observing the conversation. He’d speak up occasionally but most of the time it felt like he was studying everyone. Jisung had mentioned it for a long time Hyunjin just kept to himself. That was until he had started hanging around Jisung. Hyunjin had introduced him to Jeongin and from there the three of them had begun a small friendship. He mentioned how Hyunjin wasn’t usually this quiet around his friends and that maybe, he just needed to get used to the group. 

The more you spent time with the group including Hyunjin and Jeongin the more you got to know them (naturally as one would). You learned of Hyunjin’s love of art- and dance. You learned his favourite colours, foods, and seasons and that his favourite flower was the rose. You learned how he spoke softly around the group but when he spoke to you he was more- himself. He seemed to prefer one-on-one conversations to those with a group. He enjoyed watching everyone yell over each other but never wanted to speak over anyone. Oftentimes times the two of you would spend your time just talking to each other while the others yelled over one another. 

You got too close to him, too fast. You just didn’t know that at the time. 

He asked about your interests and your dreams, and he listened and responded thoughtfully to questions you’d ask. He’d bring you coffee and ask you to keep him company. You fell fast for him but you were only ever a good friend to him. 

“There’s this girl in my class.” Hyunjin sighs, “She’s sweet, cute. Her art is just, wow. She’s so talented, and I- god I feel so stupid Y/N” Your heart drops into your stomach. You lost him, yet he was never yours to lose. He’d always be your friend though right? So why does it feel like your heart just shattered? 

“You’re not stupid Jinnie, you admire her- so talk to her.” You smile as you bring the warm cup of coffee you’d been neglecting as you watched Hyunjn paint. 

“Should I?” He asks genuinely, and you nod. 

“Of course Jinnie,” 

The first date went well. Hyunjin came back to you and Jisung absolutely elated. He told the two of you how they had talked all night about art, their interests, and what they wanted to do in the future. He told you two how she had agreed to a second date and he how he hasn’t felt this excited about a girl in a while. He had unintentionally planted the seeds of your demise that night. Neither of you knew yet. 

By the third date, he had decided to officially ask her out. She said yes. She’d have been stupid to say no. That was the first time you felt the pain in your chest. You choked in attempts to take a breath, only to land yourself in a coughing fit- something stuck in your throat and you desperately forced the cough to rid yourself of it. You knew, yet what hurt the most was to see it fully. To fully let it sink in as you stared down at the rose petal covered in spit and blood laying on the palm of your hand. You cried for the first time over Hyunjin that night. 

Your group of nine had become a group of ten within a few weeks. Hyunjin brought his new girlfriend around quite often. He didn’t sit as close to you anymore, and when the group began to talk over each other he wouldn’t lean in to talk to you about how stupid they were all being. Instead, he whispered into her ear about- you wouldn’t know what. You watched, silently as your heart broke more. You could feel the sting in your chest, not only from the aching of heartbreak but the thorns puncturing your lungs as the roses grew. You excused yourself from the group, quietly heading to the furthest washroom in Chan's house. Heaving as you desperately tried to breathe, coughing up more of those delicate red rose petals. You didn’t think it would happen this fast. 

What neither you, nor Hyunjin noticed was the way Jisung watched you. Watched as the light in your eyes died out watching them- watched as you held back tears. He didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to accept it. Maybe the disease hadn’t come? Yes you had the genes for it- but maybe just maybe he was so lucky that you were unaffected by it. You’d have told him if something happened. You’d have told him if you were coughing up petals. You were his best friend and he was yours. He trusted you more than anything to tell him. You would- You would tell him. 

Jisung coughed that night. A small, purplish-blue petal forced it’s way up his throat. He stared down at it in horror. You didn’t love him as he did you. 

Almost a month later, Hyunjin had come to you asking for a woman's opinion on what to get his girlfriend for their month anniversary. You smiled through it, and the two of you went shopping- sometimes you thought you could pretend this wasn’t happening. That it wasn’t this god-awful disease of unrequited love attacking you. Sometimes you’d pretend you just caught a bad cold, and that Hyunjin was still your Jinnie, your close friend. Someone you’d love as a friend forever, but- reality was never so kind. He’d mention something she’d done that made him happy, or he’d see something she may like and ask you for advice and you’d feel the thorns, the threat of the roots squeezing your lungs until they could no longer garner any oxygen. Excusing yourself to the nearest washroom and barely making it inside before you coughed up more of the rose petals, you found that as the condition worsened, the blood that was once just specks and spots came out in larger quantities as time went on. 

 You’ve begun to hate roses. 

“Oh sweetheart-” an elderly woman whispered as she watched you whimper over the sink, she wiped away the blood from your mouth with a paper towel. “You should have those removed my dear.” You nodded and walked away quietly as she stood and watched you. Pitying you. You made your way back to Hyunjin who stood waiting near the benches just before the washrooms, the elderly woman behind you following along, “Deary-” she called out, but stopped as she eyed down Hyunjin. “That cough is quite heavy, I’d suggest heading home alone- lest the boy catch anything.” She smiles softly. She knows. She extended her hand offering a mask, “Rid yourself of that cough dear, it’ll be best.” was the last thing she said before walking away. 

“A-are you sick? What cough? Y/N Should you be resting!? You could have told me!” Hyunjin panics, as he quickly brings a hand to your face to check your temperature “You don’t feel warm, common Let's get you some tea and then home-” He says grabbing your wrist and gently tugging you along. 

“I’m fine Hyunjin honestly.” you sigh. 

You hid yourself away for a week after that day. Hyunjin and Jisung regularly came to check up on you to make sure you were recovering from your cold well. You lied. Saying you were fine and healthy again, and they both believed you. 

Once more you found yourself with the other nine in Chan’s house. Everyone sat around playing cards. Drinking, overall having a good time. You tried hard never to laugh too hard- god forbid you coughed up a flower in front of everyone. When everyone got bored- the group moved from inside to Chan's backyard. Quickly he started up a fire for the night, you watched as the flames rose and danced around the air before dissipating into the night. 

“You guys are gross!” Jeongin yells as he runs out of Chan's house, “Someone tell Hyunjin to be less gross.” he complains, the group laughs. 

“What did he do now?” You smile- only to regret the question immediately. 

“He’s so fucking mushy, can you do all your I love you’s in private and not with the group- like god not everyone wants to see your pda and shit” Jeonging yells, Hyunjin slowly making his way outside with his girlfriend's hand in his- laughing. 

“Please Innie, you’ll understand when you’re in love.” He smiles. Thank god for the summer weather- a small gust of wind pushes the smoke from the fire into your face and your coughs are easily excused as getting a lung full of smoke. You excuse yourself to hide away and spit out the soggy petals into the toilet. Cleaning your mouth out and quickly swish mouth wash around in it to avoid the iron scent of blood within it. You slowly make your way outside where everyone was still chatting away.

“You guys hear about Yeonjun?” Seungmin sighs, 

“Terrible isn’t it?” Hyunjin’s girlfriend says softly, “Hanahaki. Rare but devastating. I heard he’s having the flowers removed.” 

“That’s better than suffering.” Chan sighs, “I mean- what would you guys do if you had the gene and then- you know-” 

“I’d have them removed.” Hyunjin’s girlfriend says, “I’d rather lose the memory of the person than to die by suffocation.” you wince at the thought and let out a small cough, and the attention turns to you.

“Sorry, it’s like when you talk about lice and you can’t help but itch-” you mutter, “Talking about Hanaki is particularly uncomfortable for Jisung and I-” you sigh, as the others look to Jisung. 

“Yeah uh- we both, have the gene- but there's no guarantee it will happen you know?” he smiles up at you, “I mean neither of us has started coughing up petals and we’ve been in relationships before ya know?” 

“Isn’t it like a love thing though, not just a puppy love but like- oh god this is so mushy but like true love?” Minho asks, 

“There is no real science behind it-” you say, “You never know who will trigger it- it just happens.” 

“What would you two do if it happened, if I may ask-” Felix mutters, 

“I wouldn’t remove them.” You sigh, the silence that follows is deafening, the only sound is that of that fire and the slight rustling of the leaves in the summer wind. 

“W-why not” Hyunjin stutters, “You’d rather die in love with someone who doesn’t love you back than to live a long life and possibly find someone else?” Hyunjin didn’t mean to sound like he was judging- but it hit hard, it still hurt, 

“The thing about removing it Hyune, is that removal affects everyone differently. Some- lose memories of the person they once loved. Everything about them just- poof, gone. Others- they uh-” Jisung tries, 

“They’ll never be able to feel love at all ever again.” You finish. 

“Oh.” Hyunjin mutters, “Well if either of you ever falls in love with someone that triggers it- tell us. Okay?” 

“I wouldn’t keep it from you guys- I’m sure we're fine!” Jisung smiles. What no one knew was that Jisung was suffering. Hiding away just as you were. Neither of you went to the other to tell them what was going on because Jisung would rather suffer than have you pity him for loving you all this time. You had fallen in love and he saw it, and you had survived- unaffected by your cursed genetics. So he would spare you the details, he wouldn’t allow you to witness him- wilting away as he desperately held on to you. Your last memories of him would not be of him coughing up flowers. God forbid you ever found out. He would not allow it. 

You could barely move, barely breathe. Your lungs hurt to take in air, the coughing never stopped yet still you pushed- and pushed. You tried so hard to be normal around your friends, but soon enough you couldn’t push anymore. You hid yourself away. Claiming to be busy with work- You ignored calls, and didn’t open the door when people came looking for you. The coughing was so bad and the blood loss made you feel dizzy. Your time was coming. You clicked your phone on and sent a quick message to your friends.

STRAYS

Y/N: Movie night, my place friday @ 6 please I’ve been so shit without y’all 

Minho: SHE LIVES! Bet! See you there! 

Felix: Im down! 

You ignored the rest of the incoming texts. You had a mission, two days to complete it and it required all of your strength. You got up from your bed, dragging your bucket of petals alongside you as you planted yourself in the living room and began to write. 

To: Chris. 

To:  Minho.

To: Changbin. 

To: Felix

To: Seungmin

To: Jeongin

To: Jisung

To: Hyunjin

To: Mom & Dad

The last three of your letters being the most important. You needed to take your time with those three.

Jisung had decided to head over early. He was coughing still but not too badly, he felt fine enough to go hang out with you for a bit and help you set up. You had been working so much he was glad to finally see you- he just wanted to be the first one to see you. He made his way up to your door- opting to knock first before letting himself in, but when you didn’t answer he made use of his key and made his way inside. The apartment was quiet and dark. Perhaps you weren’t home yet. He made his way into the living room and sat himself on the couch, taking out his phone to call you. The confusion hit more when he heard your phone buzzing, but there was no effort from you to answer the call. 

“Y/N?” Jisung called out, but you didn’t answer. He made his way to your bedroom, knocking on the door softly. Still, nothing. He pushed the door open and immediately his legs gave out. Eyes watering, the cough returning in full force. The screams Jisung let out were heartbreaking. And thats how everyone else found him. Screaming, crying, and coughing up bloodied flower petals. Chan rushed to him instantly, picking him up off the floor in front of your room, 

“Han!” Chan called out to him, “Han talk to me what happened?” only then did Chan look up, and see what Jisung was sobbing over. “Felix.” Chan held back his tears as much as he could as he looked to Jisung, “Felix come here and shut the fucking door to her room, shut it- shut it now!” He yelled out, as Felix rushed to the door, Hyunjin let go of his girlfriends hand, making his way slowly to your door but Jisung looked up and glared. 

“Get out.” He spat, “Get out!” 

“H-Han” Hyunjin said in confusion, 

“GET OUT HYUNJIN GET THE FUCK OUT YOU DON’T GET TO SEE HER, YOU DON’T GET TO FUCKING SEE HER” He screamed, attempting to lunge at Hyunjin, “IT’S YOUR FAULT- IT’S YOUR FAULT SHE’S DEAD- IT’S YOUR FAULT!” Jisung was yelling on pure adrenaline, his mind wasn’t processing the words he was saying to his best friend. He needed someone to blame, and Hyunjin just seemed like the best answer. 

“FELIX! CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR” Minho yelled out, 

“Dead..” Hyunjin looks into your room just as Felix closes the door, the only glimpse of you he got was your hand hanging off the bed. Jisung’s screams were interrupted by more coughing, petals spilling out of his mouth as he clutched his chest, heaving. It took a moment to process but it clicked. You were gone. and Jisung was dying. 

“Uh, guys. We uh- we can’t leave her like that.” Seungmin sighs, as tears slowly stream down his face. “I’m going to go call the cops.” 

You never got to put the card explaining to Jisung to wait a week before giving out the letters. It lay in your room while the box lay collecting dust in the living room. Where everyone sat waiting for the authorities to arrive. Minho was ultimately the one to hand out the letters to everyone sitting around. 

No one read them until they had gone home. 

The funeral was nice. Jisung thought there was a terrible irony in the flower arrangement that decorated your casket. To die by roses, only to be buried with them in the end. You’d have hated it. The group hadn’t really seen each other since that day. Some of them had tried checking up on Jisung having learned of his condition but he simply ignored them. He couldn’t bring himself to tell them he’d be meeting the same fate because everyone had the same questions. ‘Who is it Jisung? Maybe if we tell them.’ No one noticed how Jisung loved you. 

He stood alongside your family, as guests came and went paying their respects to your family, him as your lifelong best friend included. Chan came up first, said a few words to everyone before he disappeared back into the crowd. Seungmin and Jeonging were next. Minho and Changbin followed after. When Jisung had spotted Hyunjin making his way up slowly to your family he half expected his girlfriend to be following along, but she made no appearance. You never did give his name to your family. You didn’t want them to blame him. 

Jisung wanted to blame him, but he knew he couldn’t. Hyunjin just didn’t know. It wasn’t a lack of caring, it was the complete lack of knowledge and Jisung couldn’t blame him for that. 

“My name is Hwang Hyunjin,” he said softly, “I’m-” he choked on his words, “I did it to her-” he sobbed, bringing his hands up to cover his face as he hid in shame from your family, “I didn’t know- I swear- If I had-” your mother places a hand on his shoulder, in attempt to comfort him, 

“It wasn’t your fault,” was all she could say as Hyunjin sobbed. Jisung excuses himself from your family, motioning for Hyunjin to follow him. The two of them find an empty hallway to talk in. 

“Jisung?” Hyunjin sniffles, as he tries to wipe away his tears that seemingly won’t stop. 

“I watched her fall in love with you Hyunjin. I watched her love you with everything she had in her.” Jisung coughs, it hurts to cough up the tiny followers you loved so much. Would he be the next to go? Probably. Hyunjin’s eyes grow wide as he watches the dainty petals fall from Jisung’s lips. Tiny blue and purple petals- covered in spit and blood.

Jisung was tired. He was so tired.  

“You know she hid it from us all? She died alone Hyune,” He takes a deep breath in, Hyunjin could see the way Jisung struggles to breathe- two people. Two people in his life with the same disease, how could he have been so blind to it? 

“I-” Hyunjin stutters, it was his fault. It was all his fault. “I didn’t know- If I had known Jisung- I could have-”  

“That’s not how love works Hyunjin and you know it. She didn’t tell you because she didn’t want you to pity her, she didn’t tell you because she didn’t want you to force yourself to love her because she was dying.” Jisung lets out another loud cough. “I’m sorry you know?” 

“Sorry?” Hyunjin mutters, “For what? I should be the one apologizing.” 

“For saying it was your fault she died-” Jisung sighs, “It wasn’t, I should have noticed but it wasn’t your fault. She hid it for a reason.” 

“You know, the worst part is- I can’t win in this situation,” Hyunjin sighs as he leans against the wall, sinking down to the ground. “If I had known she liked me, I’d have asked her out-” Jisung looks to him confused, “I always thought she just saw me as a friend- as someone she was close to- never- as someone she could love like that.” Jisung watches as Hyunjin takes out a crumpled piece of paper out of his coat pocket, “Didn’t know till she wrote it all out and she was gone. Should have seen Jisu’s reaction when she found out.” 

“How is she by the way?” Jisung asks, 

“Wouldn’t know, we broke up. Couldn’t be with her after I killed someone- She couldn’t handle knowing her friend died because of me either. She liked Y/N a lot. They weren’t that close but she liked her.” Hyunjin shakily hands over the piece of paper to Jisung. 

Hyunjin, 

Where do I even start? I guess, I start with I’m sorry. Probably should have told everyone sooner. I hope you’re not blaming yourself. If you are- please don’t. Please, please don’t. It’s not your fault. You know, since they told me I had the gene, I was warned. Warned to keep my heart guarded, warned to keep myself safe, not to love just anyone. I don’t regret it you know? I don’t at all. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t expect you to tear down those walls I had so quickly, but still, I don’t regret letting you in. 

I guess you probably have a lot of questions huh? 

Firstly yes, your shirtlessness when we first met did traumatise me :) kidding. But seriously. I’m sure you have so many questions that I wish I could just answer for you but- they’re a bit complicated.  So ill answer the ones I can think of right now, 

Does it hurt? Unfortunately. These kinds of flowers are, beautiful. Truly a symbol of love, but also dangerous and-, I can feel them in my lungs. It does hurt but it's bearable. 

How long? I think the first time I coughed up a petal was when you first asked out Jisu. How long had I been into you? Well, I’m not sure, to be honest. I think I took a liking to you after we had met, but I definitely knew when we would spend days together in your studio and I’d watch you get lost in your canvass. (I hope you’re still painting, by the way, you’re so talented. Don’t ever stop please.) 

Am I scared? Terribly. I wish I told one of you sooner so I don’t have to do this alone- Jinnie I’m terrified.

Why didn’t I tell you? For a lot of reasons but honestly, because you looked so happy with Jisu! Gosh, I hope you two are okay right now- selfish of me to be confessing to you over a letter after I straight up died, but honestly, wholeheartedly I hope the two of you are happy! You deserve to love and be loved. I’ve never met anyone who sees so much beauty in falling in love- who thinks of it in such a fairytale way. You deserve to be happy, so I guess that’s why I didn’t say anything. She loves you, and you her. And knowing that you’re happy makes it easier for me to leave. 

Jisung pushes the paper back to Hyunjin, he can’t read anymore. 

“You know, she ended it with ‘I love you Jinnie, live happily for me, and love strongly for me’ and I couldn’t even do that for her,” Hyunjin says softly, Jisung could tell he was breaking inside. Jisung could also tell he’d read through that letter like his life depended on it, like it would keep him grounded. 

“You have time to live happily Hyune- to love for her. You still have time,” Jisung says, 

“What about you-” Hyunjin could feel the tears threatening to breach again, he couldn’t lose another person. Maybe he could help Jisung, maybe he could do something- anything to save him. 

“They can’t love me back.” He sighs, “It’s fine.” 

“Who is it?” Hyunjin asks, “Maybe we could talk to them or something. We both saw how not saying anything ends, maybe if we just get you to talk to-”

“I can’t Hyunjin,” Jisung says somewhat aggressively, “She can never love me back, it was too late even before-”

“No- Maybe they can! Maybe we can-” Hyunjin panics as he cuts off Jisung, he can’t lose his best friend, he can’t. “We- we can-” 

“HYUNJIN SHES DEAD. SHE CAN’T.” Jisung shouts, and it clicks for Hyunjin, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled, you’re scared and hurting. I know you just want to help but-” Jisung choked as he coughed, “There’s no helping this one and I think what hurts the most Hyune- is that loving you killed her faster than loving her is killing me," Jisung sighs, 

"What do you mean?" 

"I found her in full bloom. She had a rose bush growing inside her, thorns and all" Jisung sighs, “Roses out of her mouth, and chest- You know people romanticize it like it’s some beautiful display, but no one seems to remember how much blood comes with your chest bursting with flowers.” Jisung shutters. 

"R-roses.." Hyunjin stutters

"Yeah- fuck I shouldn’t have said that- sorry." 

"No- I just- wish I knew sooner." Hyunjin is about to burst, with more tears. He knows what Jisung is saying isn’t to place blame on him, but to help him understand what he was going through- what you went through, he also knew Jisung didn’t always know how to explain his feelings fully- but it didn’t make it hurt any less, it didn’t make him blame himself any less either  "What about you then-"

"Forget me not’s. small, but invasive. they spread fast - definitely not as painful as a rose but- still they hurt.  I’ll have them removed soon.” Jisung sighs, 

“You’re gonna do the surgery?” Hyunjin looks to Jisung, like he has some sort of hope in his eyes, and it kills Jisung inside, but he simply nods. 

It was getting harder to breathe as he stared down at the contract. Jisung knew this would be it. Removing them would only lead to him forgetting you. Forgetting how he loved you. Forgetting your smile, your laugh. How when you were happy you’d scrunch your nose. Or when you were upset or sad or had too much on your mind your leg would bounce subtly. 

Would Hyunjin had noticed all of these things? 

God. Jisung thought to himself. He should have just told you. 

He stared down at the contract once more, A violent coughing fit threatened to breach but he knew it wouldn’t ever feel better. The roots were already too far gone, hugging his lungs tight. Every day he could feel the small purple and blue forget-me-nots making their way up his throat threatening to burst out of his chest and mouth in full bloom. 

Slowly he rises from his seat. 

It’s time. 

Jisung never did sign the contract. Opting to go home. Lay down. And hug your sweater and one other thing that reminded him of you. 

“You always said you’d follow me to the ends of the earth” You smiled, a gentle one at him as get let out a breath. “Lets go?” and he did, he followed you to the ends of the earth. 

Hyunjin couldn’t even scream, something blocked out the screams he so desperately wanted to let out. His heart shattered. He could feel the physical pain of it breaking within his chest.

 Hyunjin found Jisung clutching a photo of you and him as kids. On the back, in pen, he had written his last words. 

If I have to let you go, I’d rather be dead.

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