I Was Born Inside An Airpod Case 3 Minutes Ago Your Honor And I Love Abortion

i was born inside an airpod case 3 minutes ago your honor and i love abortion

can you make a fluffy klaus imagine where he takes reader on a shopping trip to designer stores and spoils her and the reader sheepishly tells him that he doesnt have to do so much which makes him spoil her more thx

I enjoy spoiling you

Klaus has been encouraging me to pick out as many different outfits as possible. Since we had been together he was nothing but eager to throw his money at me but I wasn’t exactly used to this kind of spending and the price tags were making me feel sick.

I nervously checked how much the little sundress that had caught my eye was. My lips parted in surprise, i could get the exact same looking dress for £12 in a different shop. I quickly walked away back to Klaus, his arm circling me instantly and pulling me close

“Did you find something you like?” He asked softly with a smile and i shook my head timidly

“I don’t think i need anything else, we’ve already gotten loads” i told him glancing at the man who was carrying our things, apparently it was his job and Klaus would be paying him

“Sweetheart you’ve barely chosen anything, remember you can pick anything you like, formal, casual, you can get some pyjamas too?” His voice was encouraging and i felt silly, like a child. He must’ve noticed my frown as he took my face in his hands

“I want you to be happy and comfortable love, i enjoy spoiling you, i never know what to spend my money on, let me buy you something to make you smile” he kissed my lips gently before pulling away and petting my hair

“Klaus, i like that you want me to be happy but i can be comfy in much cheaper clothes- even if it’s just a but cheaper! But please don’t spend a ridiculous amount on a summer dress” I practically begged and he glanced over my shoulder

“That one over there?” He asked and I followed his eye line and nodded reluctantly. Straight away i was being pulled to where it was, his arm around my waist nearly dragging me as I protested that i didn’t want it. He checked the price and picked it up passing it to the man for the ‘buying’ pile

“Klaus-“

“Hush love let me” he muttered and kissed me again to silence me

“But-“

“You’ll look gorgeous in your new outfits” he whispered

“Can we go home now?” I asked shyly

“Without accessories? Of course not love, Rebekah may scream. Now tell me would you rather be shopping with me or my sister?” I blinked at him for a second. Rebekah would have me trying everything on and buying the entire shop

“You…” I uttered and he nodded

“Exactly, now come we have many other shops in this area, we can drive anywhere you’d like” his eyes were hopeful and i nodded slowly

“Okay but this can’t be a regular thing” he grinned like the cheshire cat and hurried me to the till

“Special occasions- an average Tuesday whatever you like, for today just see what you like and you can have it”

I found myself smiling at him as he brought me to the many jewellery shops, i managed to convince him to try on a range of brightly coloured necklaces- tiaras and such. Eventually we got home and i collapsed on his bed with a groan

“My feet hurt” I muttered and he breathed a laugh as he slid my shoes off for me

“How about we try the new bath salts we bought? Then you can get into your fluffy clothes” he lifted me up as he dug through one of the bags to grab the salts

“We didn’t buy anything, it was all you” I reminded

“My money is your money now my love, that is why you have this-“ he tucked a black card into my hand and i gaped up at him, still held bridal style in his arms

“No-“

“Yes”

“But-“

“But yes”

“What if-“

“Just say yes” he breathed with a toothy grin

“I’ll just say okay and slip it back to you later” i mumbled and he growled in his throat

“I can be very creative in ways i get you to accept this” he whispered to my ear and a shiver ran down my spine

“Is that a threat?” I asked and he hummed

“Don’t worry love, it’s one you will most certainly enjoy”

(Wish he would shower me in money ngl)

Perhaps shifting realities for Klaus Mikaelson is a bit to much, but who cares. He's been my comfort character since I was 10/11 and I won't apologize for it

(and yes I know he's a little manipulative completely insane bitch but I'm not gonna be ashamed for it when people are scripting Jeffrey fucking Dahmer as their s/o)

like c'mon look at him

It's just very important to me that you know prairie-style gardens exist.

Ok. Thank you. Carry on.

Fr, tho I wouldn't blame Caroline, considering she literally didn't owe him nothing (he terrorified her friends and stuff, and she literally said she never felt safe with him) but yeah, I hate klaroline

RANT TIME (it’ll probably flop and idfc)

ppl are still shipping kl*roline in 2023? I mean…

firstly, that ship came out of bloody nowhere. klaus ignored her one day, then started obsessing over her the next day.

secondly, OBSESSION that’s what it was on klaus’s part. oh, also, he nearly killed her twice, tried to kill her friends multiple times, and made out with her whilst in tyler’s body…. but you think klaus was the only one who was problemstic? just you wait.

thirdly, caroline KNEW how klaus felt about her, and she used his feelings to her and her friends’s benefit, all the while claiming HE was the only monster in the picture. also, the one time klaus bared himself to her, when he told her about his father hunting him for 1000 years, what did she do? show empathy because she’s “a good person unlike klaus”? nope. she straight up mocked him “ever considered having a chat with him?”. hahah yes go girl go make fun of people’s trauma hahaha….

fourthly, caroline was in on a plan to kill klaus and just generally hated him??? like??? the only thing they had was good chemistry.

lastly, remember how caroline villainized klaus for the whole of tvd seasons 3 or 4 (not without reason) but then, because fan service ofc, claimed in the originals season 5 that he was never the villain in her story uwu (about five minutes after saying “why couldn’t you just stay the big bad wolf” lol) just because he had character development??? hahaha

but yeah, klaroline is such a cool ship who definitely deserved each other because they helped each other grow so much…. you want that? ship forwood and klamille (or klayley) bye.

Reminder that it really doesn’t matter what ways you’re marginalized, if you’re not black you’re just as capable of anti blackness as white cishet people. No amount of “but I’m gay!”, “but I’m trans!”, or “but I’m not white!” changes that.

And being neurodiverse/disabled isn’t an excuse for anti blackness either.