Idontknowwhattonamestuff - Untitled - Tumblr Blog

Anyone else having issues with Ao3 logging you out spontaneously?

I bet octopuses think bones are horrific. I bet all their cosmic horror stories involve rigid-limbs and hinged joints.

Ezekiel: I can't do it. It'd be against my moral code.

Jake: Your moral code is a fucking roulette wheel.

AU idea: Tim, tired of all the misunderstandings in the batfam, resorts to magic.

The misunderstandings:

Jason thinking he's been replaced

Damian feeling that he has to earn his place in the family

So many of the batkids feeling unsure of their place in the family

Dick never reaching out about his own issues until it blows up on him

Bruce putting his foot in his mouth and rarely verbally affirming his love

Cass's overwhelming guilt and physical distance from the family

Alfred's passiveness/professionalism/perceived neutrality

The timeline is after Damian joins, but before Duke does. We'll say the BruceQuest really made Tim face how shitty their communication is and the need to fix it.

So, Tim contacts Constantine about setting up pack/coven bonds for the family (Bruce, Jason, Dick, Damian, Alfred, and Tim). This links their emotions together and allows them to monitor each other's physical states.

At the beginning, it's sudden and overwhelming. Only Tim, who was prepared, is able to immediately shield his bond.

If he had a choice, he wouldn't have even included himself in the bond (he's a hypocrite). He needed to be in the bond for it to work. In fact, since he was the one to start it, he's the coven/pack leader. He can add people and remove them at will.

The bond causes many many many fights and arguments. It's basically a huge blowup as the family learns to adjust to their new status and try to figure out what happened. Tim, obviously, does not tell them.

The family can tell that Tim is in the bond, but his emotions are constantly shielded. This does cause misunderstandings.

Eventually, the bonds become used as Tim intended: a way to express and communicate. It even allows them to soothe and comfort each other.

It's mostly a success... Except for Tim, the hypocrite, distancing himself. While he watches everyone else bond and get along, he allows the misconception that he's not as affected or doesn't feel as much as the others.

DPXDC prompt. Field trip.

Some people would call gothamites petty, but given that most of the USA population treated them as scum, they believed that their behavior was justified.

They didn't like tourists, to put it mildly. Therefore, after learning that in their city were people on a field trip from Amity Park who could not leave Gotham for several days due to weekly escape from Arkham, the news channel immediately decided that a short interview from the guests would definitely amuse the locals. The reaction of outsiders never ceases to be ridiculous.

Reporter: ~Good afternoon~ Gotham News! May I ask you to share what you liked most about our wonderful city?

Mr. Lancer*still in a cold sweat and looks at every passerby as a potential villain*: Uh, no, me..It's so unexpected. Well, first of all, people here are very…

Danny *is high after the tasting samples Dr. Crane gave him for free and is extremely eager to share his happiness with others*,* picks a microphone*.

Danny: Gotham is the best city in the world! Like seriously, damn, I'd like to die here. Although there are constant shootings somewhere, half the time people don't even shoot at me! I haven't been this relaxed since middle school! And in the evenings, there is often such a pleasant scent of fear and despair on the streets. This fear toxin of yours is a real miracle! It's sooo good!

Sam *decides to take the initiative in her own hands before Fenton says too much*: Personally, I am very pleased with the number of green spaces you have in your city. It's nice to see that here eco-activists are really being listened to. Also, the fact that most restaurants have a thoughtful menu for vegetarians left a very pleasant impression.

Dash in his favorite T-shirt "it's not gay if he's dead": Four words. Hips of Red Hood. The fact that it is not marked in the guidebook as the main attraction of the Crime Alley is a real crime. This dude clearly never skips leg days. My respect.

Tucker: What can I say? The speed of internet here, even during villains attacks, is absolutely  unbelievable. I don't want to leave this place.

Jazz: I love Gotham! Finally, I was able to buy all the works published by Dr. Harleen Quinzel. *girl picks up an impressive stack of books* For some reason, they are not available online.

The camera points at a red-haired guy with a twitching eye.

Wes: I'm 85% sure Bruce Wayne is Batman. I have a proof and I am ready to provide it.

A girl with a "Good Guess" pin from Riddler enters and takes camera away from conspiracy theorist.

Star: Sorry, he slipped out at night and went to look for problems. Again. Don't pay any attention to him. He's always like this when he drinks more than two energy drinks in a row.

PSA:

“Asexuality” is a sexual orientation describing little to no sexual attraction

“Ayyyyy, sexuality!” is a guy at a bar imitating Chandler from Friends while talking about sexuality

“Aye, sexuality,” is a pirate giving his kids ‘the talk’

learn and know the difference!

fun fact! did you know that you can gain extra ‘forbidden time’ by staying up late in the night? but Watch Out

when i forget to log into ao3 and i have to click proceed to see an adult fic, i actually get a kick out of it. like i am an old timey queen and my bard is apologetic: “gentle lady, dicks doth touch in this next ballad. would you prefer another?” and i give him a gesture of command like, “nay, you may proceed, minstrel. bring forth the tale of dicks”

Tim tells the Batclan he's going on a space mission with Young Justice for a few weeks, he's got everything sorted civilian side and his cases and patrol routes covered, and also if any of his usual Rogue's Gallery suddenly comes looking for him don't worry about it.

And all of that is fine and normal - except that last part hey Tim what the fuck does that mean?

and Tim just goes it's fine don't worry about it anyway gotta go bye! and then he just bounces

and everything is fine until not even a day later when Babs forwards them a video Red Robin uploaded to his social medias that is a music video of him (Red Robin) seductively lip-syncing along to Chappell Roan's "My Kink is Karma" against a backdrop of fail compilation clips of several of the villains Tim has a particular grudge against, including Azrael, Lex Luthor, and most prominently Ra's al Ghul.

so there's Tim, in a form-fitting catsuit styled like his Red Robin costume, in heels, feeling himself up with a video clip in the background showing Ra's tripping on his own robes and face planting into the brickwork, evidence he dyes out some of the gray in his hair, his sash coming undone and pants falling off in the middle of a fight, trying to swipe the effects of a glitterbomb off of himself, etc.

It all ends with the Mean Girls clip of "why are you so obsessed with me?"

The video is immediately viral.

(There's some clips of Red Hood in there fucking up but Jason can't even be mad because he's laughing so hard he's gonna throw up)

Tim's Rogues absolutely DO show up to Gotham looking for him, and while they all want revenge, Red Robin is THEIR arch enemy like HELL are they going to work with these other embarrassments, so they all start fighting each other and it is absolutely CHAOS (Lex decides discretion is the better part of valor and makes a statement that no of course he has nothing against Red Robin he has no idea why he was included in that video haha yes of course it was Very Funny when a bird accidentally pooped on his head he is Very Capable of laughing at himself Thank You, and then he quietly goes to one of his vacation houses and moodily drinks for several days waiting for things to blow over)

Tim, meanwhile, is having a wonderful vacation with Young Justice, catching up with Lobo and Slobo, chasing down some space pirates, and just getting out of Gotham and away from his Rogues trying to challenge him/seduce him/kill him/whatever.

Bruce is taking the constant psychic damage of having the image of softcore Red Robin erotica burned into his brain along with the realization that way, way, WAY too many of Tim's Rogues want to sleep with him like an absolute champ. (Dick is not taking it like a champ, Dick is taking it like an unhinged vengeful wraith and has had to be benched for trying to tear out Ra's throat with his teeth.)

Stephanie is having the Time of Her Life. Damian cannot look anyone in the eye and absolutely cannot look Ra's (or his mother who ALSO showed up prominently in the video) in the face and is Not Having the Time of His Life.

(Jason is with Steph on this one, he is having SUCH a blast, this is so fucking hysterical)

Oh, I'm actually a sex-repulsed ALLOsexual, sorry for the confusion. No, yeah, yeah, no ,it's its Christian guilt, yeah...

This website is too mobile focused these days. Reblog and tell me what your desktop/laptop background is.

Hate when you can’t remember the name or lyrics of a song but you remember the way it sounded so you’re just left dragging around the rotting corpse of it in your memory

this is the stupidest crossover possible but I want Tim to make House his doctor

yes that House

why? He needs someone who is very good, will not give up or send Tim out to a different specialist just because his medical condition is difficult, will not be overly concerned about the danger Tim puts himself in, and will lie on Tim's medical records AND to Batman/Bruce Wayne/all of the Bats without hesitation or fear.

House is and will do all of those things without hesitation. He has no shame, no boundaries, he WILL get into a public fight with Bruce Wayne if it means keeping that man out of his patient's (and House's) business. He will help Tim lie to and gaslight the rest of his family without hesitation.

in exchange, Tim is his favorite patient. Not because they get along, necessarily, Tim is a know-it-all little shit and they constantly bicker and House hates how practically every facet of Tim's existence is a lie (and Tim thinks House is a smug know-it-all jackass who is needlessly cruel and callous bc he thinks the world owes him and never delivers just bc he's in pain, news flash a lot of people are in pain and manage not to be assholes) BUT, 1, Tim brings him really interesting cases and problems, and 2, Tim NEVER lies to House about his medical conditions or what he was doing when they happened.

He lies about literally almost everything else under the sun TO everyone else, but he is 100% completely upfront and honest about his medical history and what is going on with him with House.

admittedly it takes a while for House to realize Tim ISN'T lying to him because some of the shit he says is completely insane ("the vigilante thing is pretty obvious but what do you MEAN you got the Apocalypse virus TWICE, AND SURVIVED, AS A FOURTEEN-FIFTEEN YEAR OLD")

but once he realizes Tim doesn't ever lie to him, he becomes House's favorite patient because at least TIM gives him all of the data he needs as best he's able the moment he asks. At least House doesn't have to waste his time following up on bogus information or figuring out the truth, he can just get right into the meat of the medical issue at hand.

also it's so fun to lie directly to Batman's face, know the man knows, and know he can't do anything about it

“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos

squinting at the 'fix it fic' tag on any given story on Ao3, trying to discern if it's intended in the sense of:

I genuinely think the story had bad writing and I am taking my toolbox and improving it [and i the reader agree]

I genuinely think the story had bad writing and I am taking my toolbox and improving it [and i the reader disagree]

The story's ending was Tragic and I Respect that but also i just want to read about my faves having some kind of joy and fulfilment okay?

The story's ending was Tragic and I do Not Respect That please God Damnit Let Them Be Happy

We Are Literally Fixing The Canon With The Application of Time Travel or Reality Warping or some other Wild Plot Device

I am going to fix one obscure detail or plot element that 95% of the fandom has never thought about in their life

(because these are all extremely different vibes)

the comedic potential of timkon clone baby hitting their angsty teenage phase and basically disowning their gay mad scientist dad is so real, why are we not talking about this more

Everything I have ever seen about this show has been on this site and either wild AF or cute head cannons, or both. I'm not sure if i'm being goncharoved or if this is a real show but i am too scared (and amused) to google and find out.

“dungeon meshi is darker than you think” fairies are real and they’re made of cum

Tim: oh Jason can't kill me anymore Jason: can't???? Tim: if you kill me, it'll be (Red Hood former alias of) the Joker killing (Red) Robin Tim: which means I will have aped every major aspect of your tenure as Robin, and since you'll have killed me, you'll be the one who made me your perfect replacement Jason: ...wh- Dick: okay, wait, getting killed by the Joker is NOT every aspect of Jason's tenure as Robin- Tim: I embezzled a Batmobile from Batman (stealing the Batmobile tires) Tim: I dropped out of high school (never got to finish) Tim: I was hated by the Robin before me (Dick hating Jason) Tim: and my falling out with Batman was based on him thinking I killed someone I didn't when they fell off a building (Bruce thinking Jason pushed Felipe Garzonas off a balcony) Tim: oh! and since Ra's al Ghul wants me alive, I'm reasonably sure he'd use the Lazarus Pit to revive me, so I could take that too! then I can get to work on stealing your identity as Red Hood :) Jason: Dick: Tim: I already took Red Robin :) Dick: ...wh- Jason: Tim, I hate you, I hate you so goddamn much. You are my favorite brother. You are the only Bat I respect and the only one I will ever willingly work with. You are completely insane. You are the best Robin there ever has been or ever will be. What the fuck is wrong with you. I love you. I'm going to shoot you in the leg now. Tim: make sure you miss the femoral artery!

I need to see Tim meet a kid who’s mentor “died” but they don’t believe it.

I need Tim to see this kid who’s just begging Tim to give him a chance to explain his reasoning, begging Tim to be the first person to look at the evidence he’s brought logically.

I need to see Tim say “I believe you, I’ll help you” to him. I need to see the adventure they go on to bring that mentor back, I need to see Tim make sure another kid doesn’t go through what he did.

i need to see that kid healing from what other people said to him while Tim heals from what those people used to say about him

"this post would do numbers on tumblr" "that post would do numbers on tumblr" yeah they probably would. they would probably do 4 or some shit. i don't know

Bruce: We need to talk about what’s going on with Tim-

Dick: The stalking?

Bruce: No, we settled that-

Jason: His cloning experiments?

Bruce: I thought he stopped that?

Damian: His hit list?

Bruce: What?

Dick: Dami, we’ve already talked about this it wasn’t a “HIT list” hit list- Is this about his spleen?

Bruce: spleen?

Jason: No it’s gotta be the-

Bruce: This was about his weed stash but I’m sensing there are more pressing issues I’ve not been made aware of?