Iknowhowtrianominaworksbutimlazy - Unbetitelt - Tumblr Blog

…And guilty of conspiracy to commit murder … and a sexual predator …and incompetent …and married to a serial rapist, pedophile, murderer (thrice over by now) …and sheltering a terrorist.

it's always both sides are bad :( when one of them is a rapist incompetent usurper and the other is... a woman

TB and their selective feminism.

alicent shouldnt stripe rhaenyra out from her birthrights and rhaenyra shouldnt do that for alicent's kid either, because other lovely anon: friendly reminder that in HOTD all rhaenyra's kids are bastards and her natural heir is aegon... sooo... yeah, i'd say they are even. 👍

Sure they're even! I'd dare say that in Alicent's eyes, Rhaenyra's cold indifference for her siblings and her future hurts as much as her childhood betrayal did all those years ago... Because Rhaenyra herself could have acknowledged and recognized Alicent's fears about her children and done something about it... formed an "I-will-never-under-any-circumstances-hurt-your-children-and-my-siblings" pact, but she wanted Aemond "to be sharply questioned" instead, and insisted on naming Jacaerys her heir which further jeopardized Aegon and his siblings because everyone knew they were the real male Targaryen heirs who could be easily used by anyone who disliked Rhaenyra as pawns to claim the throne from her. As long as the legitimate male heirs were alive, and Rhaenyra continued the stance of enmity, hostility, and complete disregard toward them, they would remain a threat and challenge to her reign and claimants to the throne, and Alicent would do everything in her power to make sure they stayed alive by having Aegon sit that throne himself.

So let me get this straight - Alicent was “evil” and “crazy” and “overreacting” for wanting an eye for an eye (a belief she doesn’t normally hold unlike Daemon) in a moment of fear and desperation after her son was permanently maimed and her husband’s response was to not give any punishment at all to Luke, sending a message to everyone that Alicent’s children don’t matter even to the King and anyone can harm them without recourse. Viserys even threatened to further maim and disable “anyone”, meaning Aegon and Aemond, by cutting out their tongues to protect Rhaenyra’s obvious lies. Viserys proved he will never protect Alicent’s kids and Rhaenyra confirmed Alicent’s fear that she will kill her children by not even trying to apologize or show any remorse or diplomacy at all (but Alicent is the enabling boy mom, and also an abusive bitch when she does punish her son for being a perv… okay) instead blaming Aemond and demand he be “sharply questioned” (aka probably tortured) for exposing her lie. Of course Alicent would want to make a show of strength back after such a clear threat to herself and her children.

But a grown man ordering the murder and decapitation of an innocent toddler is totally justified. Like they’re celebrating the murder of a toddler, I know not all Team Black people are doing that but enough to be deeply disturbing. And this is the same grown man who cut the hands off of poor people for stealing while he has never known what it’s like to not have food or clothes. Hammurabi’s Code is totally good with Team Black except it’s barbaric and evil when it’s over Aemond being disabled and disfigured for life by his childhood bullies. Even if it was gonna be revenge, Aemond should’ve been killed then (even though he didn’t mean for that to happen, he’s more responsible than a baby). That’s what Rhaenyra wanted. Daemon is a psychopathic abuser who can’t help but undermine Rhaenyra’s power and the lengths people will go to justify his actions astounds me.

On the subject of Alicent and the accusations of hypocrisy, I'm not really interested in delving into what societal taboos she actually is and isn't breaking. Don't care, have fun, girl.

What does interest me is how the popular framing of Rhaenyra vs Alicent as feminist girlboss vs woman for Trump prevents people from acknowledging what the show explicitly told them in season 1.

Simply put, I never understood why people were interpreting Alicent as someone who honestly, genuinely wants to enforce the values of duty, honor, and sacrifice as a social norm to combat "sexual immorality" (??? I guess???), instead of hiding behind them as the only available coping mechanism for her horrifying personal situation.

Mind you, Alicent isn't just subjected to what the standard for Westerosi noblewomen is, i.e. being sold as a bargaining chip for loveless breeding while expected to have no say in it. She gets a particularly nasty version of this by being sold to an old creep at 15 and put into an extremely exposed position as a queen who is, to reiterate, 15 and thus unable to tweak any personal space, power, and advantages in this marriage until after child number three. And as a plus, she gets mocked both by her husband and his incompetent idiot of a brother (for whom she went to bat, btw), discarded by her only friend, and her children being ignored and neglected by the very man who made sure she'd have them—starting at 15.

So it's the least surprising thing in the world that she would reframe her powerlesness in a way that'd give her some sense of active involvement, i.e. she made a sacrifice and she made that sacrifice in the name of duty.

Alicent's moral framework is such that it encompasses the totality of one person. It's actually astonishing how little of it she applies to others. She empathises with Rhaenyra not stepping up and "doing her duty" by marrying whomever her dad throws at her, and seeks to give her options. She's outraged at Rhaenyra not because she can't stand the idea of a girlboss winning, rather because it's physically painful how little Rhaenyra cares about the precariousness of her political position. She doesn't turn against Rhaenyra because the latter had extramarital sex; it's because she lied to her fucking face. And even when gunning for her bastards who are the textbook definition of usurping and a succession crisis waiting to happen, she allows for one bastard as a freebie.

So no, Alicent's "where is duty, where is sacrifice" isn't her demanding that an immowal girlboss corrects her behaviour right now, young lady. It's a cry of a person breaking because she can no longer ignore that her cope was ever just that, that she was made to give and sacrifice everything while fuck-ups who sacrificed nothing and demanded everything are now going after her children, the fruit of a life she never wanted to live.

Now, why was she made to live that life? Because Viserys.

Why was she made to have those children? Because Viserys.

Who created the situation to which adopting a coping mechanism became a matter of survival? Viserys.

Well, Vizzy? Is fucking dead. Tragically he wasn't given the Drogo treatment of having an urgent meeting with a pillow but he is indeed toast. So the whole reason why Alicent reframed her awful life as an act of dutiful sacrifice? Is gone.

So it doesn't surprise me whatsoever that the moment she became a widow she decided to do something very much undutiful and unsacrificial and jumped on Criston's dick, or that the old programming where she isn't allowed to have anything at all would always immediately bounce back.

(Why is Criston, apparently, pursuing the relationship, I still have no earthly clue)

It never really sunk in until you mentioned it but yeah, there is something weird and gross about how a handful of the characters on Team Green are disabled, especially when the show is choosing to portray them as the villains, or at least that's what the casual audience thinks.

it's a stark contrast to game of thrones/asoiaf, which is still praised to this day for its inclusion of multiple disabled characters. tyrion, jaime, and bran each had several dedicated episodes exploring what happened to them and how they are disadvantaged and discriminated against in a world not made for their bodies.

on the other hand, aemond and larys are widely viewed as evil. their disabilities are footnotes in the origin story of sick and violent individuals, as if they are disney villains. helaena is the epitome of the magical savant stereotype/trope, and she goes from cryptic to conversant, touch-averse to touch-neutral, whenever the writers want to show that she approves of team black or hates team green. people care more about rhaenyra getting scratched and luke getting threatened by alicent than the person she was fighting for, the person who actually permanently lost an eye.

this is wild to me because we literally watched aemond and helaena grow up. there was so much opportunity to show how aemond's depth perception would've changed as he trained with criston and learned how to ride vhagar. so much opportunity to flesh out helaena's prophecies and communication style. and don't even get me started on how larys's entire relationship to his body is reduced to an evil foot fetish. there's no examination of how disabilities have affected any of these characters' lives or how they've made accommodations. the only reason why any of their disabilities are brought up is to vilify or ostracize them. it's deeply dehumanizing and ableist

Running theme here is: The Time-Jumps fucking suck. We went from „I do not want children“ to „Oh look! I‘m giving birth to my third child!“ without ANY build-up and then went from tortured longing that can never be to „Quickie in the middle of the day“ without any explanation on how the fuck we got there.

the fact that we are going to have to sit through multiple alicent/crispy scenes this season and didn't even get ONE harwin/rhaenyra scene last season is a crime

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

TiL (click to go to the thread, which probably has more interesting tidbits I missed).

Bonus:

i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.

this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.

anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:

“Rhaenyra was right, now they really see Alicent as she is. She’s such a hypocrite! Where is duty and sacrifice, huh?”

Here, let me show you:

Twenty consecutive years of this woman suffering, performing her duties, sacrificing herself and picking up the broken pieces of everyone around her was just not enough for you, huh?

But no, let’s collectively shit on her for sleeping with her guard after her job as a queen, mother and wife was completed and this action affected literally no one outside of her and Criston, because she scolded Rhaenyra, not for having sex out of wedlock, but because her lies broke her family apart and she failed to perform every single one of her duties, yet still somehow remained the most entitled and demanding person in HOTD.

This I actually and unambiguously love.

COURTLY LOVE AT ITS FINEST!

This is Alicent giving Criston her handkerchief as a token of her love and affection and a symbol of remembrance as he leaves for war.

My pookies ARE IN LOVE

Someone had to say it and I‘m so glad it didn‘t have to be me.

“I want Aemond Targaryen”

…bitch me too but that’s a really weird thing to say in front of your war council, there’s a time and a place for thirsting over your brother

Let's be honest: Criston's offense’s more than justified and well-reasoned. Another question is how much this very offense is, but everyone will judge this through their own internal compass. Let me explain Cole’s motivation and worldview, maybe I'll open someone's eyes.

Let’s simulate the situation: we have a son from a humble family (so low that his position was low even for an engagement), who, with sweat, blood, his skills and efforts, carved out a place for himself in the Kingsguard, taking into account that, thanks to the goodwill of a representative of the royal family, - who has a golden spoon in her mouth, we remember, was able to get a healthy assessment of her capabilities and skills without watered calculations.

- “I know what it’s like to fight for something that others don’t value.”

He owes his new position precisely to the favor of the princess, and we have no reason to refute Criston’s conscience, because BEFORE any traumatic and drastic changes/events, he manifests himself as a conscientious and devoted knight, with a clear worldview.

They spend a lot of time together, and already at Aegon’s name day we see that the level of trust between Rhaenyra and Criston is high, moreover, it is rapidly gaining momentum when she opens some part of her soul, shares things that can be called “personal”, laments his situation and outlines the problems he faces. Most notable:

— “My father is trying to sell me to Jason Lannister. I was named heir to the throne only to improve the position of Lord Casterly Rock.

— Should I kill him?”

This is literally a joke about killing the LORD that Criston makes in the presence of the princess, and it is remarkable that they both laugh without taking it seriously.

— “You can choose your own path, you are lucky. Many would gladly change places with you.

— “I am the princess of Dragonstone, but I am toothless.”

— “Once, not so long ago, you were able to write my name in the White Book. A position in the Kingsguard is the highest honor for the Cole family. I owe you everything. And I wouldn’t call it toothless.”

He provides her with sincere support, without greedy or hypocritical intent, and she accepts it with open arms.

The development of their relationship, on the initiative of the princess, follows immediately when, after some time, abandoned by Daemon (I condemn) in a brothel, she persuades Criston to have sex. Rhaenyra lures him into the room, plays with the helmet, kisses him, not allowing him to leave, and then tries to free the knight from his armor. Yes, Criston could more than experience romantic feelings towards his princess, but above all, it was a kind of admiration, sincere gratitude for what bestowed her favor on the rootless commoner. His representation of Rhaenyra may seem banal and naive, namely as “a poor princess, enslaved by her position,” we will note this in the future. But based on his pure motives, he faces a choice in which his feelings equally suffer, his vows and, of course, the wishes of his object of desire, in relation to whom Criston has never crossed the line before, are called into question. Many may underestimate the pressure that arises between the statuses and titles of total opposites, and only in the example of “maid - prince” do some realize the problematic nature of such a union, but not “princess - knight”. Please note: despite gender, it is still a class difference that breeds power with abuse. And, unfortunately, Cole cannot know and be sure that Rhaenyra’s need to get sex here and now has nothing to do with her love for him. He hesitantly follows the princess's lead, putting aside his white cloak.

Next we see and hear that Criston is ashamed of himself for violating his honor, neglecting his duty, although he listened to his heart, to his duty to Rhaenyra.

— “You occasionally confided in me... Over the years of acquaintance. And it seems to me that I know you. A little.

— “More than a little.”

Another imaginary confirmation in Christon’s eyes of reciprocity.

— “You have said many times how you despise your position. That you will be married off at the whim of your father, without thinking about the inclination of your heart. And this day has come."

He imbues her with the problem mentioned in the past; driven not only by his dilemma, but also by Rhaenyra's “confinement,” a literal shackle that equally binds and constrains them both.

— “I ask you to come with me. Away from all this, from the humiliations and burdens of your heritage. Let's leave all this and look at the world together. We will be free, nameless. We are free to go wherever we want, to love whoever we want. Will you marry me? Not for the crown. For love.

— “I’m the Crown, Ser Criston. Or I will be her. I can complain about my debt, but would I choose infamy in exchange for a barrel of oranges, or a ship to Asshai? It is my duty to marry a noble of a great house. But my marriage is not the end all be all. Ser Criston, Laenor and I have come to an understanding. I gave him the right to do what he wants. He granted me the same”.

— “Do you want to make me a whore?”

— “I want what started to continue.” You are my protector. My white knight”.

— “I made a vow, a vow of chastity. I have nothing but my white cloak, and I have stained it! I thought the wedding would cleanse him.”

Literally, Criston pours out not only his soul to Rhaenyra, but also to us, as viewers. He dictates the reality of his situation, assures that he can provide and protect the princess as much as possible. But, of course, for the blood of the dragon, for the heiress, for the father’s daughter, who was previously brought up in the conditions of “do you want it? Get it!” such a prospect is worthless. Naive of Cole? Yes, but not without reason.

After everything, he feels extremely vulnerable, as well as after a sincere confession to the Queen - which responds even more precariously and nervously to any conscience and confidence, despite her gratitude. Already at the wedding of Rhaenyra and Laenor, Cole, like a taut string, stands at the service, but restlessly and nervously looks at the princess.

— “I’m on duty, what’s your business?”

— “You don’t know me, Ser Criston, but this alliance is very important to both of us.”

— “If you have something to say, Ser Joffrey, speak.”

— “Ser Laenor is as dear to me as I know the princess is to you. We must swear to keep them and their secrets. We’re not in any danger yet... They are safe.”

Sounds like a threat to a pins and needles knight with a stained cloak and a sense of duty, don’t you think? Criston can only guess how Joffrey knows about his affair with the princess, and only one of the options may look convincing - Rhaenyra telling Laenor about this, who could notify his lover along the chain. Again, every possible inclination towards princess on his part is undermined when their secret is at stake. Yes, Criston succumbs to anger and panic, resentment and hopelessness, for which he commits a much more terrible act than calling a woman names. But even so, Cole feels guilt, boundless disappointment, and at the lynching he also feels remorse. He plans to voluntarily commit suicide and admits his every mistake. This scene is literally the rebirth of a knight in the rays of Alicent’s understanding and favor.

And as a result: people complain countless times and blame Criston for swearing towards Rhaenyra, for which he apologizes. Cool. Let's think critically and delve into the story and characters, and not spit hypocrisy.

Now I know this is purely a headcanon, but Alicent‘s rage at Aegon would make a lot mire sense if he and Aemond shared a room. We see Baela and Rhaena share one so it isn‘t completely unreasonable.

If that were the case Aegon _should_ have noticed Aegon sneaking out and either prevented it or gone with him. But he didn‘t because he was pass-out-drunk.

people on tiktok and twitter are the most purposely obtuse people that i have ever seen.

and with the things people keep saying about blood & cheese, it has only gotten worse. now if what people are saying is true i am going to be unhappy, but people are still using it to misconstrue the past events of driftmark when aemond lost his eye.

people have started placing blame on alicent and criston for not being there and while i do agree that the adults have a lot of blame in this incident it is not there. alicent was not there because she was in bed. where the kids were SUPPOSED TO BE. just because she is their mother does not mean that she needs to be awake 24/7 watching them. notice how viserys is not getting any of the blame there?

people are saying that since criston’s a kingsguard he should’ve been there since he is supposed to protect the whole family, and that is partially true. he is supposed to protect the whole family, but he is sworn to ALICENT, which means that when she is asleep he is supposed to keep watch over her. he cannot possibly watch every single member of the family at once, which is why there are multiple members of the kingsguard. this means that there should have been another member of the kingsguard assigned to the kids unless viserys never bothered, which i would not be surprised by.

now onto alicent asking aegon where he was. i do not agree with her here, but people are not understanding why she did this.

1. all of the children besides aegon and helaena (and joffrey) were there, so why wasn’t aegon? because he was drunk and passed out. now that doesn’t mean that he should be punished for being asleep like he was supposed to be, but when your younger son lost an eye when he got 4 v 1’d it might be a little irritating that the reason your oldest wasn’t there is because he was passed out drunk. still not his fault.

2. alicent has been trying to make aegon see the danger that he and his siblings are in and trying to make him take responsibility to protect them as the oldest and he has resisted and now he has “failed” and aemond lost an eye. agree with her actions or not, but she is trying to save her children’s lives even if it backfires.

now rhaenyra and daemon. people get upset that rhaenrya gets blame when alicent doesn’t. and while i get that since they both shouldn’t have to watch their children sleep to make sure they don’t get up to anything after they’ve been sent to bed, i do think people need to remember that their situations are a little different.

alicent sent her children to bed and wasn’t there because she also went to bed. rhaenrya sent her children to bed and wasn’t there because she went to sleep with her uncle at his wife’s funeral. let me repeat that. SHE AND DAEMON FUCKED AT HIS WIFE’S FUNERAL. THAT IS THE PROBLEM, at least for me. maybe i would be more sympathetic there if laena was cold in her damn grave before they did the horizontal tango.

now all in all i hope you all realize that this situation is a little more complicated than people act like and that if you’re going to blame anyone blame, viserys because really this is all his fault.

ready to defend my dysfunctional family

FABIEN FRANKEL TALKING ABOUT ALICENT AND CRISTON COLE'S RELATIONSHIP.

"what do i do now that i finished the hunger games books?"

if i may suggest:

- listen to the katniss chronicles by tkc productions.

- read peeta's games trilogy by igsygrace on ao3.

- check out @everlarkficquestions's and @thgfanfictionlibrary's masterlists and have a blast reading fics.

- watch the film adaptations and lustily point out the discrepancies from the books.

- search everlark + edit on twitter. here's a thread of my favorites.

- search the hunger games + art on tumblr.

- make hunger games/everlark boards on pinterest.

- curate hyper-specific hunger games playlists.

- get crazy wild with headcanons (and write them down if you want).

- doodle everlark or any characters doing the most random things.

- stare at a wall.

Alicent and Criston have every right to be together.

I’ve read a lot of posts regarding their non-existent hypocrisy and I’d like to clear some things up.

First and foremost, stop using Alicent’s “Where is duty, where is sacrifice?” line against her or Nyra’s outrageous “Exhausting, wasn’t it?” speech because you think you’re eating when you’re, in fact, starving. Alicent has done her duty and sacrificed herself. It’s the only thing she’s been doing for the past 20 years. She gave the man she was forced to marry four children and she took care of him despite all the shit he put her through. She has lived all her life based on her principles and now her husband is gone. She mourned him, she buried him, it’s been more than 10 days since his death (confirmed that E1 S2 takes place 10 days after Lucerys’ death) and she is finally fucking free. She deserves a sliver of comfort. Alicent is the only one in this series that’s been faithful and dutiful to a T, yet look where that got her. If someone has the right to break the law a little bit, it’s definitely her.

That being said, I don’t know when it was decided that Alicent is a pious saint that can do no wrong, but I need to remind y’all that following a religion does not magically prevent you from sinning. Is she committing fornication? Obviously. However, you are all under this impression that this is hypocritical on her behalf because she berated Rhaenyra for it when they were younger, without considering that her anger was justified for a myriad of other reasons, such as (but not limited to): 1) the fact that Rhaenyra’s freedom to marry whomever she pleased was a privilege granted to her thanks to Alicent’s efforts, who supported her even if Rhaenyra hated her, yet her friend casually threw that away, 2) the fact that Rhaenyra lied to her by swearing on her morher’s grave and never even mentioned Criston, 3) the fact that Rhaenyra had the guts to call her “sister” while lying to her face, 4) the fact that her lies resulted in Otto getting fired since Rhaenyra misled Alicent so that she speaks to Viserys in favour of her friend and betraying her own father by siding against him (a decision she wouldn’t have made if she knew the truth), leaving her completely alone and friendless at court, even if he was right all along and finally 5) the fact that Rhaenyra is the most sought after bachelorette in the whole world and by having sex she undermines herself (Rhaenyra knows this well, hence why she denies these accusations) and literally endangers herself, because had she been married to any other man but Laenor and had this man found out his wife and future queen is not a virgin, imagine the fucking horrors she could have been subjected to. Like, I hate to break it to you, but a 40-year-old widow, who’s had four kids and has completed her duty to the point where she is actually no longer needed and could leave the palace to go live the rest of her life in peace somewhere else and no one would notice her absence (literally though, she has birthed heirs, her husband is dead, her son is a grown adult king, her job is done there), having sex, is not the same as an 18-year-old princess and future heir in her prime, whose purity is linked to her worth, getting caught drunk in a brothel, hooking up with her uncle and losing her virginity to her guard, all in one night. Viserys himself was outraged. There’s lows and then there’s lows, y’all.

By the way, the crazy assumptions that Alicent has been cheating on Viserys with Criston for a while now need to stop. When Olivia Cooke said that they had filmed a messy sex scene with Fabien Frankel in a recent interview, she never said this was for S1 of HOTD. I don’t know where y’all got that from, but even if it was true, that scene has been scrapped so it is not canon. And don’t make me laugh about Daeron, a dragon rider who canonically has Valyrian features, potentially having brown hair. You’re all so blinded by your hatred for Alicent that you want her to be a lying hypocrite in order to make yourselves feel better about Rhaenyra’s mishaps, that you don’t get that the whole point of her and Criston getting physical is that she is a tortured woman who is finally able to break free, not that she has been a hypocrite all along. You’re heavily misunderstanding her arc.

Finally, when it comes to my good man Criston, y’all have lost it completely. No, Alicent is not raping him, unless he tells her to stop and she closes the door behind her like Rhaenyra did that is. No, Criston did not lie about how important his honour is to him. There’s a whole article on how Clare Kilner, the director of E4 S1, decided that Cole removing his armour slowly was necessary because it symbolises his inner conflict and uncertainty over breaking his vow: should he soil his cloak for the sake of the woman he loves? And he does soil it, because he thinks she loves him back. But that honourable man dies the day Rhaenyra tells him that he’ll never be anything more than a side piece to her. This man stops giving a flying fuck about his honour, oath, position and life. He is trying to kill himself. And you know what stops him? Alicent. Alicent is the only thing between him and death, the only person to show him kindness and understanding, to pull him up from the lowest point in his life. I don’t think you heard Alicent in E7 S1: “No, you’re sworn to me!”. Y’all. His life is hers. He doesn’t care about Rhaenyra, his job, Viserys, anyone else at this point. Only Alicent exists in his mind, Fabien himself has said time and time again that his loyalty to her is unwavering. He only exists for Alicent’s sake. He’s who you wish Daemon was. Crying that “Criston is a bad knight and a liar because he broke his chastity oath yet again!” is so pointless because that knight has been dead since Rhaenyra’s marriage to Laenor. What does an oath mean when you find out the people you swore it to have betrayed you?

After the Wedding

(Study, The Dedication

Edmund Blair Leighton, 1908)

In the years since, they had never spoken of what happened in the Godswood when she found him with his dagger, but she knew he must think about it constantly. That night had changed his life forever. She would never forget the sight of him kneeling in the moonlight. At first she thought he was praying. When she saw the steel in his hand, panic gripped her and she called out to him. After years of not being heard she was surprised when he looked up. Her voice in the darkness had saved his life that night. If she had been even a half minute later she would have come upon his blood spilt on the grass and heard his dying words.

Instead, she was there to take his hand and pull him back from the darkness threatening to consume him. She pried his dagger from his tight grip and took his shaking bloody hands in hers. She did not flinch away from Ser Joffrey’s blood even when it was staining her hands as well. When he was done crying she gently wiped away his tears like she did for her children. She knelt in the wet grass with him without a care for her fine dress and spoke to him softly of second chances and forgiveness. After everything he confessed to her, all she knew he had done, he could not believe she found it in her heart to forgive him. But she did so without hesitation. He had thought himself completely lost but she looked upon him and somehow saw a man worth saving. That was the first time they prayed together. They prayed to The Father for the strength to push forward and when they were done, he put away his tears and swore himself into her service.

“I will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. I swear it by the old gods and the new.”

“I vow that you shall always have a place by my hearth and meat and mead at my table. And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the old gods and the new.”

-

It had been very difficult to protect him from House Velaryon in the aftermath. Ser Laenor wanted his head, others called for The Wall. Luckily, Viserys had fallen deeply unwell at the wedding and was not in any state to interfere while she scrambled to save Ser Criston’s life. Commander Westerling had tried to stop her from taking him into her service but she was the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and he could not deny her when King Viserys was not there to order him otherwise. It was the first time she had ever been able to wield her crown effectively towards her own ends.

After speaking with Westerling, she went to see her husband. He was barely conscious from the milk of the poppy and in a great deal of pain. It was horrible to see him in such a state. He might not be the man she would have chosen for herself but he was still the man she swore herself to. She promised she would help him through his illness and she had meant it. She sent Maester Orwyle on an errand and tended to Viserys like a loving wife was supposed to, gently changing his bandages and calming any agitation. Though he was barely conscious he seemed happy to see her and relieved to have her comfort. She gently held his blackened hand and told him everything would be alright. When he had a moment of clarity she seized the opportunity to sway him to mercy. He need not worry, Princess Rhaenyra was safe because of Ser Criston Cole. Ser Joffrey Lonmouth had made threats against her and their Kingsguard had done his job, albeit more brutally than was necessary.

“Do not punish a loyal knight, Viserys. Give him to me to keep our children safe and he will be far from House Velaryon.” She whispered to him. Viserys mumbled in agreement, far too weak to voice a different opinion. She thanked him for his understanding, recalled Maester Orwyle, and quickly left to secure Ser Criston’s safety before Ser Laenor could find him.

But Ser Laenor was already stalking the hallways waiting for Ser Criston to show his face. A confrontation between them could not be allowed. Ser Laenor was a dragon rider and revered warrior but he would not stand against a knight as skilled as Ser Criston. If Cole killed Laenor defending himself from his revenge she would not be able to save him from House Velaryon.

“Ser Laenor…”

“Where is he?” She had never seen him look so discomposed. He was furious, eyes red and raw from his tears. He had cleaned the blood from his face but there was still some under his chin and on his fine clothing. She might have pretended she did not know what he was talking about, a method that helped her deal with Prince Daemon when he had his fun needling her with his distasteful jokes, but Laenor was not playing games.

“Ser Laenor, congratulations on your…”

“Where is Ser Criston Cole?” He nearly shouted. “I know you know. Westerling said as much.” He gestured at the blood on her dress. “Where is he?!”

“Ser Joffrey threatened the princess in front of a Kingsguard, what did he think would happen?” She replied, trying to sound queenly.

“Ser Joffrey would not do that, I know him!” He said furiously.

“Yes, I know how well you know him.” She retorted quietly, tactfully following his lead and not using the past tense. You knew him. “If you drag Ser Criston into a duel or trial much will come to light your father wants hidden.”

“Are you threatening me?” He was hoping for an excuse to escalate but she would not let him. She kept her voice lower than his and spoke slowly and gently.

“I am telling you that pursuing revenge for your friend will bring you only trouble of your own making. Ser Joffrey is gone. He would not want you to bring yourself more pain by laying out all of your family’s secrets to the court.”

“You don’t know what he would want.” He hissed.

“I know that moving forward and facing your duty is more honorable than seeking revenge. Now is a time to make your family stronger, not weaker. You should go and tend to your new wife. My stepdaughter is surely waiting for you.” For a moment he looked bitterly hopeless at the thought of his marriage bed. She briefly felt a twinge of pity for him. She knew that feeling of sickening dread and resignation all too well.

“This is not over.” He glared at her. “Ser Criston Cole will pay for this.”

“Good night, Ser Laenor.” She forced the conversation to a close and politely took her leave, careful not to walk too quickly. She needed to look confident but her heart was hammering in her chest. She took the long way back to her chambers in case he thought to follow her.

-

“Ser Laenor is looking for you.” His face remained ashen, miserable, guilty and disgusted with himself but he did not look surprised.

“I should go and face him…”

“No.” She said at once. “Give it time. At least till tomorrow, he isn’t thinking straight. Let Rhaenyra comfort him first.” He stiffened at the mention of the princess but nodded. She sighed.

“It seems we are both meant to spend our lives here in Kings Landing with no other possible path laid ahead, as much as we might wish otherwise.” she said carefully. “We both are also in need of allies. I can protect you from Ser Laenor and House Velaryon and you can protect me and my children from…everything else.”

“Everything else?” She hesitated a moment but pushed forward. An honest conversation was what was needed here. It was passed due. She had to be clear in what she needed from him. She could not muddy the waters by speaking too cryptically. She kept her voice low, in case there was someone listening in the walls.

“You trusted me with the truth and I will do the same,” she said quietly but frankly and took a step closer. He shifted uncomfortably. “Prince Daemon and Princess Rhaenyra will one day turn their sights on my children and they will spill their blood to secure the throne. Mine and my fathers as well for good measure. I know that now. They have grown to bitterly hate us. I have no one to help me stop this from happening. I may wear a crown but my influence here is limited, my father is banished and my husband...my husband is willfully blind to the conflict in our family. Only you have defeated Daemon in combat, I fear only you can help us.”

“I am not worthy of your confidence, your grace. I have done…terrible things…why would you trust me with your children?” He nervously wiped his palm on his trousers subconsciously, as if Ser Joffrey’s blood still stained his hands.

“It is only decent people who feel shame, Ser Criston. Only a penitent heart deserves forgiveness. Do you think Rhaenyra regrets anything that she does? Do you think she has shed a single tear for the hurt she has caused?”

“Probably not.” She shook her head in agreement.

“Sometimes I think that must be an easier way to live but you and I are not made that way. I am grateful for that. And I would be grateful to have you in my household. When you told me the truth last week you proved yourself a better man than you believe yourself to be. We all make mistakes but those missteps do not need to define us if we strive to be better.”

“Thank you, your grace.” He still looked sad. She hesitated but then went and slowly sat where she had when he confessed to her. He stood before her and did not sit beside her again.

“I used to think my friendship with Rhaenyra would be enough to protect me and my family.” She said gently. “She was my closest friend, for years and years. I thought she always would be. But we have both seen what friendship means to her. We should have seen it sooner, before she could hurt us. But now we know the truth; we are not important to her. If we are both to survive here we need to protect ourselves and each other.” He nodded miserably. “When you swore yourself to me you did not know what you were stepping into, I apologize for that but my family sorely needs you and your sword.” He nodded again then knelt before her.

“My sword is yours, your grace.”

Otto loves Helaena almost as much as I do!

Credit: @TheneverlandG on twitter

I‘d say that‘s generally the green experience these days.

The emotional rollercoaster of fluctuating between utter despair, disgust, and hopelessness to pure childlike elation within two days is what it feels to be an Alicole shipper

Guinevere and Lancelot's Sex

(an overview so we can be on the same page when discussing Alicent and Criston's sex)

I've been looking into the history of courtly love for quite a while now, trying to figure out where the "chaste" bit comes from. And honestly I'm still not sure. (My best theory at the moment is that it was Elizabeth I's contribution?) Histories consistently trace courtly love to The Knight of the Cart, the OG Guinevere and Lancelot story — a story where they do have sex.

They are the poster children. And they have always been unambiguously sexual.

The Knight of the Cart

Queen Guinevere and Lancelot have sex about halfway through The Knight of the Cart. At this point, Lancelot has traveled for a week and braved all sorts of hurdles to come rescue Guinevere, who's being held captive. He wants to have sex with her, but he does not expect sex from her — he doesn't think he's owed anything. This is expressed in this line:

"It would take more than these bars to keep me out. Nothing but your command could thwart my power to come to you. If you will but grant me your permission, the way will open before me. But if it is not your pleasure, then the way is so obstructed that I could not possibly pass through."

A reminder that The Knight of the Cart was commissioned by a woman, Marie de Champagne. This is a female fantasy — and specifically, the fantasy of a noblewoman who's in a political marriage where sex is presumbably expected and owed.

So Guinevere says yes, he climbs through her window, and they have sex. It's written "fade to black" style, but the author does tell us they had a great time.

Their sport is so agreeable and sweet, as they kiss and fondle each other, that in truth such a marvellous joy comes over them as was never heard or known. But their joy will not be revealed by me, for in a story, it has no place. Yet, the most choice and delightful satisfaction was precisely that of which our story must not speak.

I've seen too much discourse where Criston wanting to worship Alicent and have sex with her are framed as if they're in opposition or mutually incompatible. Which just — no. Lancelot kneels to Guinevere in an explicitly religious way, both when he enters the room to have sex with her, and before he leaves.

then he comes to the bed of the Queen, whom he adores and before whom he kneels, holding her more dear than the relic of any saint. .... When he leaves the room, he bows and acts precisely as if he were before a shrine; then he goes with a heavy heart, and reaches his lodgings without being recognised by any one.