A Lighthouse And A Void

A Lighthouse and a Void

A literary analysis of how the song Mine/Yours by Wilbur Soot and C!Beeduo interact

⚠️Trigger warnings: Unhealthy relationship dynamics, mentions of alcoholism, and implied mistreatment of spouse bordering on abuse⚠️

Word count: 2338

Why must I feel numb?

Tubbo has worked so hard to cultivate a life for himself that he enjoys, and yet still feels unsatisfied. Although he surrounds himself with people he should relish the company of and peace and prosperity and animals that used to make him happy, he continues to feel like he needs more. Like there is something missing. Like he is numb.

I’ve done what I’ve done.

Both Ranboo and Tubbo have done things they are not proud of, that eat away at their conscience no matter how much they try to convince themselves otherwise. Ranboo and George’s house, Tubbo’s traitorous actions during times of war. They both feel like they have turned their backs on Tommy, Ranboo is constantly lost and conflicted. To try and gain some peace, they both pretend as though the past doesn’t bother them. What is done is done, and they shouldn’t dwell on it.

I’ve taken the cues on what I’m supposed to do.

Ranboo is very confused during social interactions, prioritizing their own values over the unwritten rules of communication. Though they try to bend said values in order to gain Tubbo’s favor and trust, having next to no one else to talk to, they are still lost on what to do. So, they look to Tubbo to give them cues on what they’re supposed to do, idolizing his ease in which he navigates conversations in an unhealthy way.

I heave the issue.

Tubbo attempts to ignore his issues, no matter how heavy or inconvenient it would be to do so. Hence, he heaves large issues away, trying to forget them. This not only causes him to bottle up feelings that influence his decisions from his brain’s shadows, but makes it hard for him to communicate said emotions to others.

The narrative’s doomed when I’m holding the pen throttling you.

Tubbo controls the story that Ranboo gets, as when Ranboo forgets something it is Tubbo that reminds him. Perhaps omitting his own mistakes, he paints himself in the best possible light for Ranboo. Thus, their relationship is doomed to fall apart and then come back together. Secondly, Ranboo also writes his own notes about Tubbo in his memory book. As Tubbo is dependent on Ranboo’s love, whatever Ranboo writes and thus whatever Ranboo feels towards Tubbo, greatly affects how Tubbo views himself and his worth.

You never liked me when drunk.

Taking after his father and enemy, Tubbo takes up drinking to escape his overwhelming emotions. This scares Ranboo, seeing as he relies on Tubbo so much and observing him being unpredictable and dangerous when his memory book tells him that this is unlike Tubbo is unsettling. Makes him question everything, and yet Tubbo knows he can do anything he wants and Ranboo won’t remember. This makes him do more and more minacious things.

I start to believe you never liked me at all and so I agree.

Both of them, on their own, come to the conclusion that the other doesn’t love them for who they are, but for what they can give to them. Tubbo treats Ranboo like a void to scream into, Ranboo treats Tubbo like a lighthouse to follow blindly. At the same time, they both have low self esteem and hate or are unsure of their own identities. This understanding that they hide from the other is one of the few things they have in common.

So I’ll say “fuck you” because I know if I don’t I’ll probably say something stupid and true.

Tubbo’s recklessness when it comes to Ranboo’s emotions is unsafe for the both of them. Confused with how he thinks he should feel and what he is actually feeling, there are long stretches of time when Tubbo refuses to give or receive affection. Whether it is because he feels betrayed by Ranboo, because he feels guilty, or because of some other reason we are not shown, he always seems to blame Ranboo. This is due to Tubbo’s view of Ranboo, as being a void to need near him rather than a full person in his own right.

Stand just out of reach of your fist.

What Tubbo doesn’t realize is that if he repeats an action enough times, Ranboo will begin to remember it. The same way Ranboo knew Tommy was a friend or that Philza was kind no matter how long it had been since they last saw each other, Ranboo slowly realizes that he is Tubbo’s scapegoat. Although fully aware that he is unsafe near Tubbo, he has nowhere else to go. Nowhere else he’s ever known. So, he stands just out of reach of his fist, but close enough to touch.

Take myself away.

After a while of everything festering, they both find things to keep themselves busy. Ranboo and The North, Tubbo and the nukes. The more time they spend apart, the longer their marriage will last. Even when they are together, mentally they are somewhere else. Thinking about Michael or revenge or experiments, they are never in the same place even when they are laying in the same bed.

The gangrenous limb.

Ranboo finds that Tubbo and the child they had together and the certainty that their life used to provide, no longer makes him content. He begins isolating himself, traveling longer, losing himself in his own thoughts and worries. It feels like his blood flow, his very heart and soul, has been cut off from him. He has to come to terms with the fact that the man he married and loved and devoted himself to is not who he once thought.

Dance around the subject, a figure of eight

Sitting across the dinner table, standing next to each other on the balcony, laying beside one another in their bed, they are losing the familiarity they once had. The final reason they could still feign love was their history together. Now, with Ranboo fearing that they will again fall into their cycle that takes advantage of his tragedy and Tubbo desperately trying to bring it back, they are simultaneously nowhere near the same page but reading the same unhealthy book.

Describe all the parts of me I’m yet to break.

Ranboo is scrambling to find any proof that Tubbo once loved him. Desperately trying to see if Tubbo knows his favorite flower, color. If he knows why Ranboo hates the nether but loves obsidian. He is holding onto hope that his version of Tubbo is real, just buried deep within his frosty exterior.

Count all the parts of me, I’m yet to break.

Tubbo, on the other hand, has continued to drown in his work. Telling himself that he is building the nukes to protect Ranboo, he is trying to convince a god he doesn’t believe in that he is not guilty. Maybe he did love Ranboo once. There must have been some moment, when they were truly happy. For that reason, he is yet to break from Ranboo and thus the last vice-like grip he has onto his past life.

Recount all the parts of me I’m yet to break you.

Both halves of this tragic coupling are desperately searching for love and companionship. They are sure that their relationship can be salvaged. And yet, even in this new found hope, they are not doing it for the other’s sake no matter how much they say otherwise. They both don’t know how to be happy without the other. They haven’t been happy in years but the last time they were, was when they were together. They try to safeguard the other’s feelings, because if the other breaks, they surely will too.

Kiss me like it was your job, so tender and carefully, teeth before tongue.

(I wanna be yours)

And yet, nothing changes. Tubbo continues to kiss Ranboo as though it is an obligation, not a privilege. Scared to lose him and scared to have him, Tubbo performs his duties to Ranboo as though reading a checklist as opposed to loving someone. He gives Ranboo everything he believes he needs except genuineness behind the actions. At the same time, Ranboo can’t let go. All Ranboo wants is to feel loved and wanted again, he screams to Tubbo with his lingering touches that he “wants to be yours”, more than he wants to be his own person. A long time ago, this would’ve been exactly what Tubbo wanted, but now he feels guilty whenever he uses Ranboo, preferring to be detached over the crushing blame of Ranboo’s scared eyes.

And not in the way that the romantics do.

He knows he needs more, but he doesn’t know how to say it. Tubbo never taught him that, and he relies on Tubbo for everything. Maybe Tubbo should have done them both a favor and never showed Ranboo what true happiness and love and peace felt like. They could’ve lived in bliss, one content with unhappiness and the other oblivious. And yet, unfortunately for the pair, there had been love there once.

With the grace of a workplace and child dispute.

(I wanna be yours)

When they kiss, Ranboo can see Tubbo check a duty off of his mental list while they used to lock eyes and only see each other. With Tubbo lost in work and Ranboo observing his mannerisms from the outside, he realizes that Tubbo uses the same vocabulary talking to his coworkers as he does to Ranboo, his husband. When asked about their situation through the way Ranboo ate and talked and slept, Tubbo avoided it with corporate professionalism. Even discussions about their real, alive child were coated in a tone one uses when discussing tasks they were assigned to do against their own will. And yet, there is this longing still, to fix what is broken because what else is there?

You know, I don’t need much more.

Ranboo has lived with Tubbo this whole time, and loved him under all his fear no matter what Tubbo threw at him. He would be content with the occasional hug or single apology. He doesn’t need much, but he does need more. He is rotting away like a corpse, so slowly, starved of anything worth living for for so long. He doesn’t know any other way but, god up in heaven, if Tubbo called out to him from the darkness where they lost themselves, he would follow it to the ends of the earth.

I want to be mine.

Keeping these discoveries from Tubbo, about who they are to each other, has finally allowed him to grow and nurture thoughts independent from Tubbo’s influence. This fascinating new discovery is enticing. He wants to know more about himself and who he really is. The idea of being his own person, thing, object; whatever he is, a part of him is curious. He mourns the loss of himself knowing that he can wish for something like this but it will never come to fruition.

Wanna be yours.

Ranboo will never let go of Tubbo. Above everything he could ever want for himself, he cherishes Tubbo like a priest cherishes a church. Cleaning and perfecting oneself in the hope that some greater thing you don’t understand will reach out and save you. He has only ever been Tubbo’s. He knows nothing else. Every thought that races through his head, every step his padded feet take, everything his mismatched eyes see, they all trace back to Tubbo. He wants. No, needs Tubbo more than words can do justice. Like a sunflower needs the sun, turning away from Tubbo is certain death. Death of love? Death of hope? Death of peace and contentment? Prosperity? Reciprocation? He doesn’t dare find out, and follows Tubbo out of the storm as though Tubbo is a lighthouse, knowing that the shards of rock at the dock will tear Ranboo to shreds. Anything to get a step closer to his only love.

You know, I don’t need much more.

Tubbo has gone through so much, he has begun to give up on everything that used to drive him. Anger, revenge, resentment, guilt, all lost to him. He feels weak and exhausted, he needs to feel loved. If only for a moment he could take all of his walls down and truly be seen and cared for by someone, he could finally slow down and rest. He has been running his whole life, he doesn’t think it will ever stop. But, just the thought of giving himself up to vulnerability is enough to make him sick to his stomach. His fear jolts him like an adrenaline rush, and he keeps pushing knowing that he doesn’t need much to let go of the marathon.

I want to be mine.

Tubbo has always been on his own, he wants to hold on to this sacred privilege. In a world where he has been thrown around by one war to the next, one dictator to the next, one ungrateful friend to the next, he has always found comfort in knowing exactly who he is. Knowing exactly what he wants to do, what he needs. He is the opposite of Ranboo, never able to let go of himself in order to hold someone else.

Wanna be yours.

And yet, even with how much his individuality means to him, Tubbo is still chasing after that famed intimacy called romantic love. He wants warm fireplaces and bright blushing and the ache from smiling too hard and the bruising of lips being kissed with passion. He feels an overwhelming responsibility for his own lack of love, because it is true. Even with love laying next to him with open arms, he cannot take its hand. He wants to be Ranboo’s, he wants to be someone’s. Is it because he needs to be cared for or because the thought of missing out on something so close is eating at him? The idea that he lost a happy ending because of his own selfishness plagues him at night, when he wants nothing more than to be hugged.

I take you for granted because the alternative is far more alarming.

What is a moon, but a reflection of the light from a sun?

What is a sun, with no moon to shine upon?

Orbiting but never touching, without the other they are nothing.

Life Before You

Word vomit about Wilbur telling Tallulah a scary story

Content Warning: Suspense, allusion to insanity, self harm, and child abuse

(not intense)

Word Count: 245

🌊🌱🌠

Don’t look at me like that, little one

You have no idea what I’ve done

It was a cave, of course it echoed

Sometimes it felt so loud, even with just the two of us

Like there was a crowd, repeating ourselves back to us

Our agreements were as loud as our disagreements

Divots in walkways and winding paths

It felt hollow there, there were things missing

There was no space for us in the natural curve of the walls, we made space though

The dirt under my fingernails and my callouses filled me up

Satisfied me, softened the cruel blade of hunger that I ran up and down my skin

Guilt and hope fought in my chest, like savage animals

They agreed loudly on anger, though

On revenge

On destruction, one way or another

When surrounded by anger or grief, anger felt more inviting

My eyes were stuck open, my walking was staggered

My insides burned, I decided to throw a match down the hatch to char and numb it all up

And I left them. Alone. I should feel bad about it, I should’ve tried to fix it.

All I felt was pity.

I felt above them, tiny things in my hand

It was the act of a coward.

Only a naive fool is happy when he dies.

Being a martyr only works when you stay dead.

What?

Of course I’m making it up.

I didn’t live before you, young one.

I entangle our fingers, intertwined. The forest is alive and the sun is awake. I stay still and the smell of pine saunters past me, not paying me any mind, but there nonetheless. I look at you as you are engulfed by the earth, your hands are so spiky. It’s a fucking scarecrow again.

Flame

A word vomit about c!quackity and how he interacts with the world

Word count: 510

The flame was calling out to me like a siren’s song

Warm and inviting

Bright, inspiring

Glass floors and glass windows

Watching the sun come and go

A Bobeche is reaching out to me like a martyr, caught up in an age-old war

Looked into your eyes, unfamiliar gold pooling there

The rain bore down on my skin, mixed with my blood sweat and fucking tears

This whole time, I fought for you while you were forgetting me all along.

I’ve done things a monster couldn’t fathom

I am cruel. I am curt. I am undeserving.

The axe in my hands speaks, judge jury and executioner

Standing at the grave of an enemy, in death I envy you

You travel beyond the turbulence of your mistakes

I’ve scared a lot of people

Don’t know if that counts as hurting.

Or maybe I just failed at the hurting part, only intimidating before they call my bluff

Small boxes and sprawling skylines, chasing a feeling of home I never had

Going through the motions, just to look back and say I did

This all feels so familiar, i’ve smelled this candle before

Left burning while everyone goes out to a party

Stuck.

But, not stuck alone. No.

Surrounded by things to find pleasure in.

And yet, everything I touch burns instead of smiling

Is there anything more gratifying than taking a few papers, a table, a dream, a child down with you as you plummet?

Maybe it’s because the candle is worried that no one will notice if it blows out.

People will notice a house fire, though.

The candle won’t be blamed. The candle has no feelings. The candle is only an extension of the lighter, that is an extension of the person holding the lighter.

Lighter, touch me. If I am going to burn, let it be a pretty match to set me off. Oh, how I’ve watched you rust and peel, Lighter. You are not the shiny thing you once were. But, that potential for destruction has always burned inside you. Just had to squint your eyes, and we look the same.

You light a cigarette and sit next to me. You tell me what you want. I tell you what I need. Never the same things.

I am sick. I am sick and twisted probably, so far gone. I have never been lower before, will never be higher again.

You, Lighter, you find purpose in me. And I find satisfaction in you, and a quicker death.

I will never envy you, Lighter.

I will die. You will become useless, still alive but without purpose. You will sit by my grave, jealous of travel beyond the turbulence of mistakes.

Oh, Bobeche, catching my scalding wax. I am sorry that I bleed out into you

We are tied to each other, stuck like a candle to a candlestick.

I know that I am hurting you, I know that I should conserve myself.

But, it is Warm and inviting

Bright, inspiring

Drawn to the Lighter like a moth is to a

My top 5 Doctor Who Episodes; And why!

DOCTOR WHO SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!! I say the season and episode before I start analyzing, so feel free to skip some.

5. Vincent and the Doctor [5x10]

This episode was so touching to me on many different levels. Firstly, as a creative person who deals with mental health and ostracization, seeing a version of Vincent Van Gogh on screen felt almost healing. Acknowledging the hurt he experienced while not ignoring his joys was very special. On a technical level, the way that the episode visualized a way Vincent Van Gogh may have seen the world was incredibly eye opening and better allowed me to appreciate his art. Furthermore, the confusion Amy experienced during the episode regarding her memory was such an experience for two reasons; Firstly, it proved to us, the audience, how much she has grown to love Rory. Before, she was dating him because he was the only half-decent guy around. But, after learning more about him and spending more time with him, she is truly in love with him and this episode gives proof of that. Secondly, I experience dissociative fugue, wherein I may forget large aspects of my life, and this episode was so comforting regarding that experience. Yes, sometimes there are things you can't remember that make you happy or sad. You should embrace the feelings rather than ignore them or feel scared. And, finally, the moment where Vincent Van Gogh is able to see what the future of his art holds is a touching moment; and I like that it didn't save him in the end. Like the Doctor said, “The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't always spoil the good things or make them unimportant.”

4. The Husbands of River Song [2015 Christmas Special]

I looked forward to finally watching this episode for so long leading up to it because I had heard such flattering things about it; and it didn't disappoint. After many episodes that felt lacking or one dimensional, this special brought back an element of camp, humor, and fun that had been missing, all the while including beloved characters and dramatic sequences. Allowing the Doctor an opportunity to see how one of his companions, especially River, acts when he is not around gives the audience so much more insight into her character and the Doctor a chance to learn and grow. Asking her about himself and learning that, although she may be worried or grieving, she finds these feelings worth it just to keep loving him. Considering how much River puts a mask on around 11 to not show her age and sadden him, it was refreshing to see a new side of her. Not to mention, the storyline for the special was interesting and compelling without being overwhelming in a way that took away from the characters. Although it's unlikely that the Doctor doubted River's feelings for him, this episode gave ultimate proof regarding how much she cares about him. Unfortunately, it also showcases how little River thinks of herself in relation to the Doctor. And, yet, there 12 is to prove her wrong when it mattered. Best of both worlds! Finally, the tenderness mixed with grief and understanding that we end the special with is such a perfect conclusion to River's story with the Doctor as it reflects their whole saga together perfectly. River's argument to the Doctor that, "Happily ever after doesn't mean forever, it just means time." was so special and the Doctor finally allowing himself to settle down (if only for a little bit) was exactly the kind of growth the character needed.

3. Wild Blue Yonder [2nd 2023 David Tennent Special]

I watched this episode yesterday and by gods it quickly skyrocketed to one of my favorites, where do I even start. Within the first few minutes of the episode, we are given many similarities and differences when comparing this Doctor and Donna adventure to their previous excursions. While they still compliment each other well, offering understanding and push-back, it is also clear the ways they have matured. Donna seems more in touch with her emotions and how she is truly feeling. When we first met her, she had a lot of anger and frustration within her from constantly being scrutinized and ignored. Now, we can see she is more peaceful and secure, even if below the surface some hesitation still lingers. Whereas, in the Doctor's case, he is so much more open to affection and vulnerability. The lessons he learned as 11 and 13 showed him that he could trust others, even if it is slowly. Although he is still trying to ignore or repress many things that have happened to him, he is at peace with them more than he was as 10. They both are less rageful. So, from a literary standpoint, just the beginning of this episode was wonderful. The classic "TARDIS fucks off somewhere leaving the company stranded" and "Doctor loses his sonic screwdriver and doesn't know what to do with himself for a bit" tropes came back swinging, and the way it affected the duo was wonderful to watch. The reality of the situation wasn't quickly swept under the rug or ignored because of a bigger problem, they got to sit in their fear for a while which was beautiful. The slow realization throughout the episode as if the audience is figuring out the answer at the same time as the Doctor just felt satisfying. Small, seemingly disconnected things coming together to form a compelling mystery. And, because it takes so long to give us the answer, we feel the carnal fear of the unknown just like the Doctor and Donna. I was tense when I realized they weren't talking to each other, but copies. I was scared when they were separated. And, the best part of the whole fucking episode, I didn't know who was who. That was terrifying! Up until the last second, I thought the Doctor had made the right choice, too! It kept me on the edge of my seat, informed me so much about the characters, explored a terrifying "what if" in a way only sci-fi can replicate, and was silly as hell. Loved every second. Also, the little robot guy was cute as hell.

2. Heaven Sent [9x11]

Explodes everywhere I love 12. This Doctor is characterized as a less nice, but still very kind regeneration. He holds so many conflicting feelings regarding the loss of the Ponds, his changing relationship with Clara, his perception of himself. I loved how he acted in his episodes. as socially confused, because it felt very familiar to me. The way his brain always seemed too loud and his loner energy was such a switch-up compared to 11. and yet so in character all the same. This episode carried this perfect essence of Doctor Who that felt lost in the majority of the last couple seasons. An entire episode where the Doctor is alone, and grieving, and loving, and problem-solving all at the same time was so compelling. Although it is clear I am more of a fan of episodes that focus on the characters and not the current storyline, this story was enthralling even if it took away from character moments sometimes. Do I wish we had more chances at the beginning/middle of the episode to properly address or reminisce about Clara? Yes. But, after watching the whole episode, it is clear why it was done. The setting for Heaven Sent was so intriguing, and the whole episode we are just wondering as much as the Doctor is; Why? Why is he being chased, why was he brought here, why are there shovels? It reeled us in. And then, once we realize the torture he is putting himself through, the dramatics, character information, and emotion we are given is so heart-wrenching. Evidently, Clara gave the Doctor a comfort greater and worth more than 5 billion years of torture. Could you imagine that? The depth of his love for Clara is given so much of a spotlight in this episode, and I am frothing at the mouth for it. Especially considering how they may frustrate or hurt each other, they still know each other. They help each other. And goddammit, he is not going to let her go. But, this stubbornness isn't necessarily a good thing. One important thing about loving someone is knowing when to let them go. This love for Clara was selfish the same way her love was for him in these intense moments where they sacrifice themselves for each other. They were doing it to prove something to themselves, to get the other back because they couldn't accept they were gone, not because it would be a better existence for the one in danger. Clara didn't want to be saved, she was being brave. And this imperfect grief the Doctor experiences was so achingly realistic. When I lost my cousin, it was so hard to accept. I wanted to ignore it, I wanted to be angry, I wanted him back. But, in the end, it was his time. This journey the Doctor goes on regarding yet another loss felt so powerful. He was forced to feel this and it hurt, he couldn't just try and quickly forget about it or sulk on his own terms. At the same time, the revelations he comes to throughout the episode were so reassuring to hear someone outside of my own head say. "It’s funny. The day you lose someone isn’t the worst. At least you’ve got something to do. It’s all the days they stay dead."

Turn Left [4x11]

This comes as a surprise to no one as someone who has been PREACHING character > story. This episode, while being a perfect set up for the finale, tells us so fucking much about the Doctor and, more importantly, ABOUT DONNA! Without Donna, there's no Doctor. Without the Doctor, everything goes to shit! Seeing as we, the audience, are usually seeing the universe by following the Doctor, a companion-focused episode was so refreshing. We got to learn so much about who Donna is, what her life back home was like before we met her, and gave realistic consequences to her actions. FUCK YEAH! It felt grounded, it felt interesting. I also adore the theory that every action we take splits us off into a new universe or timeline, so this episode was so perfect for me. DONNA'S INTERACTIONS WITH ROSE!!! Their comradery and understanding, the way Rose takes Donna under her wing, a moment where we see them as real people without the Doctor intervening or affecting the discussion. The importance of Donna to the universe being made so clear. WILF'S FLASHBACKS!! It's been forever since I saw this episode, but it is so rewatchable and makes me so interested every. single. time. The end of the episode is bone-chilling, with her literally killing herself to save the universe. And then!! The Doctor being out of the loop for once and understanding the severity of the situation with the return of the Bad Wolf. Explodes everywhere, words do not do justice the pure love, respect, and admiration I have for this episode and every actor, producer, tech person, writer, involved. Thank you GODS for this episode, I love you turn left. This lesson that every single person is indispensable and important sets up that conversation in later seasons and eventually becomes the main reoccurring theme of the show. Every Donna Noble, Rose Tyler, and Martha Jones of the universe is important and loved and unique and dbiubibjbjbgiufgbfgu you get me?

Honorable mentions:

The Parting of Ways [1x13]

The first finale of new who, and it was so gooooood!! Tied up the Bad Wolf hints, gave interesting endings to the TARDIS crew, told us so much about the ninth doctor, gave us confirmed ninerose, had a compelling storyline behind it, and just a classic good episode to go back to.

Tooth and Claw [2x2]

I know I've been mostly talking about the character implications of my favorite episodes, but this one was just interesting and fun. I loved the dynamic between the Doctor and Rose, the adventure, the silliness, the royal family being involved. Just a good, well-paced, wonderful episode.

The God Complex [6x11]

This episode was so yummy. While I was watching 11's seasons, I did get the vibe that Amy looked up and admired the Doctor in an unhealthy way and I loved how this episode addressed this. The idea that this thing was taking the forms of people's worst fears, the mystery of what the Doctor saw, the interesting characters, the understanding on what a God Complex actually was, its wonderful!!

The Timeless Children [12x10]

This may be controversial and I don't care!! I loved the way this episode was structured. I was confused and interested the whole time and when it fell into place I actually had to pause and pace around because OH MY GODS!!! it was a well-done reveal that had such interesting implications and I believe every reaction was in character and made sense. At first, I was upset about the loss of the former perception of the Doctor; Just a regular ol' guy who decided to act out and, above all, be kind. Suddenly, she was from another universe and was the original timelord and i was a little sad. But, the way it has been handled after feels so fitting, and it puts the rest of the show into perspective. All of the confusing things that set the Doctor apart from the others, it made sense now! I loved this episode, I thought it was a great.

The Village of the Angels [13x4]

I LOVED THE FLUX!! getting to have a old-school style season wherein the who season was just one problem was so cool and allowed for so much information! This episode specifically was so compelling. I loved the Professor Jericho; was SUCH a great addition to the TARDIS crew, and the way the handled the angels was arguably better than Time of Angels + Flesh and Stone. They were terrifying, the mystery was intriguing, and the characters were interesting!!! The only difficult part of this episode was keeping track of who was who as someone who has difficulty recognizing faces. Besides that, I fucking loved The Village of the Angels.

you ever think about the rtd1? it's rusting spaceships and tangles wires. Cardiff Warf. that warm glow. Overcoats. cluttered apartments and 2000s fashion. its mascara and camp in just the right way for people to forget it. it's roses smile and donna's hoop earings. it's all the different shades of brown and that one shade of blue. it's watching the stars in the backyard with a thermos of tea. its the practical effect aliens. the coral tardis bathed in green light. its vworping/ its the history in the doctor's eyes and the way you know this man has a family. he's your best friend and your dad and you know the doctor is going to protect you. it's snow on Christmas eve. it's about being a solider in a war, any war, because it's always the same. it's downing street and those london houses layouts in every era they go to with the doors with windows at the top and staircase being the first thing on the right. it's the desperation in the doctors voice when he talks to the daleks. it's old, not ancient, but old and cobbled together. it is hope. it Is always hope.