Scott And Peter: *Walking Down The Stairs*

Scott and Peter: *Walking down the stairs*

Peter: We weren’t fucking upstairs.

Scott: *facepalm*

Ororo: I would normally say you do you, but clearly you were doing someone else.

Pietro: How much do you love me?

Scott: Well, look at the stars and count them. That’s how much I love you.

Pietro: But it’s morning.

Scott: Exactly.

Pietro: …

Scott: Nah, just kidding I’d die for you.

Jean: So this is my wife Jubilation, her favorite color is yellow, she likes her coffee with two milks and nine sugars, she won’t eat cookies that aren’t burnt to a crisp, her favorite season is summer because it’s warm, and she’s the love of my life. What about you?

Scott: Uh. This is my husband Pietro and I think I saw him eat an apple once.

Peter: *sleep deprived* SKELETONS AREN’T SCARY.

Peter: WE’RE FILLED WITH PULSING, OOZING MEAT.

X-Men: *horrified silence*

Peter: IT’S THE MEAT THAT’S SCARY.

Peter: THE MEAT.

Erik: *sobbing* Peter, wha-

Scott: Honestly, nothing he says surprises me anymore.

Cyclops: I’m gonna take you out.

Quicksilver: Great, it’s a date.

Cyclops: I meant that as a threat.

Quicksilver: I know, I’ll pick you up at eight.

Scott: You’re cute.

Pietro: I am an atrocity to God, but thank you.