Source: Tumblr - Tumblr Posts
tony: i wanna sleep for 50 hours
rhodey: you know that’s called a coma, right?
tony:
tony: that sounds so refreshing, i could go for a light coma right now
peter: i made a marshmallow mr stark. see? his arms are crossed because he's mad at marshmallow peter for annoying him. you like it?
tony, choked-up: it’s fine
peggy: wow, you’re so brave! you didn’t even hesitate to throw yourself into danger!
steve: that's because i have no regard for my own personal safety. you can ask bucky
bucky: i have never been more stressed in my life
steve: it would help if you two showed up looking like a loving, supportive team
sam: for how long?
steve: ten minutes, tops
sam:
bucky:
bucky: can you get it down to five?
peter: here’s my award for the most rules broken
ned: that’s not an award, it’s an angry letter from mr. stark
peter, hanging it on his wall: well, it has the word “most” in it so i’m calling it an award!
villain: is this the part where you tell me that if i hurt him you’ll kill me?
bucky: no. sam is perfectly capable of killing you himself. but i’ll happily watch
pepper: has anyone ever told you they loved you?
tony: does my father count?
pepper: yeah
tony: then no
peter: when you're trying to have a lit summer but only have three friends
ned:
ned: one friend
ned: i’m that one friend
tony: how long do you think it will take you to do this?
peter: i don’t know, probably three or four
tony: …three or four what? days? weeks? months?
peter: yeah, maybe five
tony: FIVE WHAT?
bucky: stop correcting me
sam: stop being wrong
yelena: i would take a bullet for mac & cheese
kate: who the fuck would shoot a bowl of mac & cheese
peter on his first avengers mission: what’s the signal when something goes wrong?
tony: we yell “oh shit”
peter:
peter: yeah, that will work
steve: fine, i’m afraid of clowns, there i said it
sam: then why the fuck do you hang out with bucky so much
wade: you’re so mean >:c
logan: if you weren’t so fucking stupid, i wouldn’t have to be so fucking mean. change starts with you
wade:
logan: i’m sorry
Reki: If you could steal anything in the world, what would it be?
Langa, completely serious: Your heart
Reki: *spits out drink*
Gintoki: Do you take requests?
Kagura, with a kazoo: Sure!
Gintoki: Stop.
Shinpachi: I wish you’d just admit that you’ve made a mistake.
Kagura, stirring her cup of tea: I simply prefer it with salt.
Otae, grabbing Shinpachi by the collar: Say you’re sorry.
Shinpachi: I’m sorry!
Otae: And what are you sorry for?
Shinpachi, tearing up: For saying you’re too aggressive!
Gintoki: Well, well, well. If it isn’t the feelings I’ve been trying to ignore.
Yamazaki: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it's doing to your body.
Kondo: Pfft, getting rid of the rust, duh.
Hijikata: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!
Sougo: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from...