I Just Finished The Newest Episode

I just finished the newest episode

Listen to me,,,,, your tattoos do not have to be meaningful, they don't have to be deep or philosophical. You can get a tattoo because you think it looks wicked cool, you can get it because you think the colors are pretty, you can get it because you just like whatever it is. Anyone who tells you tattoos should only be meaningful and not badass can suck one.

Small memories

You’re standing in line for basketball during lunch with your best friend of six months when it happens.

The most popular boy in school calls her a word you don’t know in one breath and then says, “You’re on my team.”

She’s been waiting for nearly an hour to get called into play.. She turns on her heel and marches out of line. “I don’t want to play with you.”

You scramble after her, confused. “What? What did he say?”

She doesn’t answer you. She looks like she has a fever, eyes glassy and face flushed as she stomps up to the teacher on duty.

“Oh,” the teacher says, “Oh, he didn’t mean it. He just heard someone else say that and wants to sound cool.”

“But he called me a name,” she says. “We aren’t allowed to call people names.”

“He didn’t mean it,” the teacher repeats. “I promise.”

Your friend’s eyes aren’t glassy now. They’re very, very sharp. “Okay. He’s a fucking dickhead.”

“We do not use that language,” the teacher says. “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

“I didn’t mean it,” she says.

The teacher’s jaw clenches. “Yes, you did.  You’ve lost free time this week.”

“Does he?” she asks.

The teacher refuses to answer and pulls out the penalty notebook to write down your friend’s name.

You don’t know what’s happening, but you know that something’s gone very wrong here. You say, “You’re fucking up, teacher.” Then, when the teacher gapes at you, “What does fuck mean?”

It is the first time you get detention, on a different day than your friend.

shrieking AND screaming LOOK AT HIM GO OBI-WAN YOU ARE MY MENTAL-HEALTH’S ONLY HOPE

Things my Bio professor has said within the first three weeks of online classes

- (taking about the blue holes in the Bahamas) “Let’s find out if I should’ve been dissolved by acid or eaten by a Lusca” (a squid/shark hybrid that’s said to live there and prey on unsuspecting swimmers)

- (on a tangent from natural selection) “I don’t really eat salmon sushimi anymore because people say they carry tapeworms, so now I eat tuna. And I really don’t care if I eat too much mercury, I’m past the reproductive age.”

- “Winnie the Pooh will always be my favorite superhero.”

- (watching a documentary) The Narrator: The water looked so clear it was tempting to take your regulator off and start breathing

Professor: Don’t do that, you don’t need a degree in biology to know not to do that

- (still talking about the blue holes) “So scientifically, it’s impossible for anything but bacteria and the occasional invertebrate to live down there, but you never know” *maniacal laugh*

- (taking about the molecular structures of carbon) “I hate teaching this, and it’s really boring, so we’re gonna connect this to fun stuff, like alcohol!” 

- (talking about ethanol (alcohol) and why some people don’t have hangovers) “If you have the fast acting aldehyde dehydrogenase then congrats, you don’t have to suffer like the rest of us.” 

- *absent mindedly singing the hand song from F.R.I.E.N.D.S*

- *quietly to himself* “God, I’m such a dork.”

definetly more to be added