Many Years Ago, I Read A Fic Where Claude Was Sebastians Child With William. I Still Subscribe To That

Many years ago, I read a fic where Claude was Sebastian’s child with William. I still subscribe to that fic idea to this very day, and I came up with—what I believe to be—the greatest line,

“So, the child wants to eat from his mother’s plate instead of his own, does he?”

for when Sebastian’s talking about Claude’s intent to steal Ciel’s soul from him. Claude’s response,

“Well, I’m sure you’ve heard that there’s nothing quite like a loving mother’s home-cooked meal.”

NoéVani in Hogwarts

Title speaks for itself.

Their relationship dynamic is comparable to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's.

Noé is definitely the Hufflepuff that befriends and eventually romances the Viper Among the Slytherins that is Vanitas.

The nickname comes largely from his disregard toward Slytherin House's rep, consorting with anyone and everyone while breaking Hogwarts' rules as he sees fit. He's the sole cause for them having never won the House Cup from his enrollment to his graduation.

Noé as a Quidditch player would definitely wave at Vani after a victory, unaware of a stray bludger comin' right for him until his bf destroys it when it's, like, an inch from his face.

N, beaming: Thank you, mon cœur~ / V: Pay attention, nitwit! 💢💢

The rest of the Slytherin spectator box grumble and mumble amongst themselves, still resentful but used to them by this point.

Vanitas probably has a short career at St. Mungo's before becoming Head Nurse of Hogwarts' Hospital Wing to be closer to Noé, the Muggle Studies professor.

NoéVani are both animagi: a Turkish Angora cat and Thestral respectively.

Listen, the HP wiki said 'tis possible for an animagus to become a magical creature. (Ofc, it's more accurate to say it's been debated in the wizarding world, but we're not gonna talk about that.) Vani here is just a confirmation of that.

Noé is definitely registered at the Ministry, but his partner...will neither confirm nor deny his status. It's likely he became one at, in the eyes of the Ministry, an illegal age; thus, if he did register himself, it was long after the fact.

Vanitas thinks his Thestral form is a sick joke from the universe. Their association with death is like a confirmation that he's responsible for the tragedies in his life.

If you think cat!Noé wouldn't be every Hufflepuff's emotional support animal, you would be wrong.

Yes, Noé has an enchanted flying vehicle that his partner calls a deathtrap.

Vanitas would rather use any other means of transportation and even offer himself as a mount.

N: But your rump is too boney! I get sore after just an hour! / V: Weren't sayin' that last night about my rump. 😏 / N: 😳

"Vanitas" is actually a middle name, taken from Vani's ill-reputed mentor, the Magus of the Blue Moon. His true name is Céleste (SEH-lest), and he was adopted into that same mentor's House of De la Lune.

Unoriginal family name but apt.

The De la Lune House, particularly the Magus of the Blue Moon, was made infamous for a spell they created that could strip a witch or wizard of their magical abilities.

Mikhail is also a De la Lune, but more on him some other time.

"Ciel" is out of the question. I associate it too heavily with Black Butler.

Noé is one of two people alive who knows his partner's given name, and he guards that privilege like it's his greatest treasure.

The Archiviste House is famous for producing powerful Legilimens, and Noé is no exception. Unfortunately, he's supposedly the last Archiviste alive, the sole survivor of some horrific incident.

There is one year when a teacher is struck down by an illness and won't be back to school until the next year; so, Vani is asked to substitute on their behalf. He gets a nice pay raise for the inconvenience.

Depending on who he's substituting for, he could find himself becoming the temporary head of a house.

If he's the Interim Head of Gryffindor, there is chaos.

He wouldn't accept the professor title; his usual "Nurse De la Lune" is perfectly fine.

I'd like for the record to show that my personal headcanon regarding Vanitas' original name is Céleste. Why? because I like the sound of it, and it has been used as a masculine name, according to a quick Google search.

The Looming Autumn Gloom

ScaraKazu + Electro Archon!Scara, yokai!Kazuha, alternate timeline, canon divergence

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Raiden Muu often asked himself,

What use is there in a God of Eternity when eternity doesn't exist?

His path between his ascension as Electro Archon to the present day has been fraught with losses. One by one, he had less companions walking by side until only one remained: Kazuha, Patron Deity of Higi Village, the Raiden Shogun's Divine Emissary.

As the sole survivors of a distant time, Muu fretted over the minor god's mortality. Kazuha was undoubtedly strong, having survived the Archon War and millennia thereafter, but he wasn't invincible. Muu would be delusional to entertain such a notion, having experienced what he had. Then, the Cataclysm knocked on Inazuma's doorstep.

While the Raiden Shogun fought in Khaenri'ah on Celestia's behalf, his Divine Emissary contended with a darkness that threatened Land of Eternity. Both emerged victorious from their campaigns, but Kazuha was tainted by the filth the darkness brought. He deteriorated day-by-day before his archon's very eyes. He would vanish and leave nothing behind except a husk.

In the centuries that followed, his desperation mounting, Muu sought every method that would save Kazuha.

Everything failed.

Ultimately, the archon watched in abject horror as his beloved warped and contorted into something eldritch: an arborescent wretch with barely a humanoid shape. Only its cadaverous face, empty eyes, and dingy mane of once-shining hair reminded him of Kazuha, and the looming shadow of his death threatened to drive him insane. (Perhaps he already was after Kazuha lost the last of his wits and never spoke another word again.)

Just when he finally resolved to grant him the mercy of death, the Fatui harbinger, Dottore, appeared to him before the throne. With a wide grin, the Doctor offered him a solution to his dilemma as long as he turned a blind eye to their activities. Muu accepted his terms.

That was how he became part their project in Sumeru, helping them revitalize Kazuha as a new god.

ScaraKazu + puppet!Kazuha, A/B/O

Kazuha (O) was made as a companion for Kunikuzushi (A)—Yae Miko's idea. She said, "The world's easier to live in if you're suffering together," and Ei eventually gave in. Before discarding her first model project, she created another, and if he looked a little like the Kitsune Saiguu, it was a coincidence. Then, she abandoned the puppets together in the outer world.

ScaraKazu weren't designed to be lovers from the get-go, but they were compatible, and neither Ei nor Yae were surprised to learn they married. In equal measure, they weren't disturbed when the couple accepted an invite to join the Fatui. Kunikuzushi especially flourished in their ranks, eventually rising as No. 6 of the Fatui Harbingers: Scaramouche. Kazuha, on the other hand, didn't earn a title like that.

He didn't become one of the Eleven, but he was Scaramouche's right hand. No one sneezed at him. To be the cantankerous Balladeer's wife—a very well-loved wife—he had to be some kind of formidable. There was also his mastery over anemo to worry about. (A windstorm in a soft shell.) He wasn't so strongly disliked as Scaramouche was, tho, and that's why Kazuha handled most of the diplomatic affairs. Negotiations that were supposed to go smoothly tended to go smoothly when he represented the Fatui.

Scara was tactful when he wanted to be—e.g. when he first met the Traveler—but he almost never wanted to be. Genuine thoughtfulness was reserved for his wife and his wife alone b/c he was actually worth a damn. They were also the same. In his own words, "Neither mortal nor god, nor fate itself, is qualified to be my judge." Ofc the sentiment extended to Kazuha. They only had each other, and it'd remain that way 'til the end of time.

Tea shop owners!Zuko and Iroh are basically the Cabbage Man if the Cabbage Man was actually an important character. Like, Zuko abandoned his so-called "mission" once he came to the realization that his father is just hateful and all that jazz.

The ship is where they live still, but they acquire or build a transportable stall they take into (mostly port) towns to sell Iroh's magnificent blends. They eventually settle on something like "the Popup Tea Shop" as a name. (Hehehe. It rhymes.) True to their canon forms, they introduce themselves as Li and Mushi versus Zuko and Iroh to anyone who asks.

The Gaang's first encounter with them happens while the uncle-nephew duo are in search of a rare plant for a new summer special they've been concocting that can only be found in the South Pole. There's a conflict, of course, between the parties, but there's no time for it when the Southern Raiders appear to investigate the big-ass beam of light that lit up the sky. Everybody works together to defeat the Raiders, mutual understanding is reached, and they go their separate ways. Unfortunately, news of the Avatar's return escapes into the world still.

The Jasmine Dragon appears after the Siege of the North Pole; Zuko's ship is destroyed by Zhao because Zuko remains the Blue Spirit who frees Aang from Pohuai Stronghold. The pair can't just show their faces anywhere they want now and build a new life in Ba Sing Se until that investor gives them the opportunity to run a new shop of their own. Then, Azula ruins everything by infiltrating the city, and Zuko joins the Gaang officially in the Crystal Catacombs.