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When I Was 18 I Took A Ballet Class At College And Every Morning Our Beginner Adult Class Started Just
When I was 18 I took a ballet class at college and every morning our beginner adult class started just as the Ballet Majors in the studio next door took a mid-class break.
Many mornings they would gather in the doorway of my classroom and watch us struggle through our bar warmups or jumble up a new technique while they smiled and whispered to each other.
And every morning I dreaded seeing them there because I knew they were making fun of me.
I had other classes with some of them, and I was always embarrassed when ballet came up, and it always did, them being ballet majors, because I loved to talk about it but knew they’d seen me dance, and I was sure they thought I didn’t belong in the conversation.
At the end of the semester, our instructor announced that she’d like to invite the dancers from the next door studio to sit in on our final performance as an audience, and everyone in my class hesitated. We’d worked so hard, we wanted to celebrate our progress during our final without being judged. Most of us left class that day suddenly more anxious about the final than we’d ever been.
The next morning, in one of my other classes I had with the ballet majors, one of them approached me, and as if she’d been reading our minds the entire semester, she said
“Hey. I just wanted to say that I know we watch you guys dance a lot, and I wanted to make sure you know we’re never laughing at you. When we watch you guys learn the basics…..it reminds us of when we first started when we were younger. It’s like…looking at ourselves when we first fell in love with dancing. That’s why we love watching you guys.”
It shocked me. I felt awash with relief and utterly stupid all at once.
Here I had spent an entire semester assuming the worst of people who had otherwise been nothing but nice to me in every other setting, and I had no one to blame for that but my own insecurities that I’d allowed to rule me for months.
I’d been so unfair to these girls, because I was self conscious. I was so worried about being judged that I’d judged all of them.
Here I was worried they were laughing at me, and all along they were looking at me with nothing but absolute delight, even envy for what I was getting to experience.
This encounter changed my entire attitude, permanently.
It made me realize that, yeah sometimes people are jerks for no reason, but more often than not, people really are just….Good.
Since that day, I’ve started giving everyone the benefit of the doubt until they prove me wrong, for their sake and for my own.
And I’ve learned that the world becomes a lot better and life becomes a lot easier when you accept that maybe not everyone is judging you. Maybe you’re the one who’s hardest on yourself.
Let yourself be. Let yourself exist and breathe and be happy.
The world is a much better place.
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More Posts from Jedikali
I would be interested in it.
My time is limited but I could carve time out to listen and maybe talk a bit about my stuff; toddler allowing
Just a random question: would anyone be interested in listening to a podcast about the host interviewing fanfic writers (in a respectful and fun way)?
I've been contemplating doing something like that to help writers promote their work, talk about trends and fanfic history, and help dispell common fanfic myths... stuff like that.
If you think you'd be interested in either listening to or guest starring on a podcast like that, comment, like or reblog. If this gets 1000 notes, I'll start laying the groundwork for production.



Landlords really don’t be giving a shit. Electric chair. Now.
You know I think that the Sequel Trilogy is terribly written. There was no cohesive story, little to no communication between the directors to write and tell a cohesive story. They made choices it seems on whims at times with no thought of how the story choices would affect the rest of the story.
It’s almost like they were doing a round robin but not everyone was on the same page and one of them wasn’t sharing everything and got all prissy when their ideas weren’t carried through because they didn’t share and backtracked on what another did because they didn’t like what was written.
My golly, if I didn’t know better I would say that the directors and writers sat down, threw out a bunch of words like characters, locations, weapons and space battles then took turns writing their story using those things.
I actually played a game like that years ago. There was five to six of us and we all chose a subject and then on a sheet of paper we wrote part of a story with what we chose before passing it to the person on our left and took the person on the right’s page and added to their story using our topic.
For those curious I don’t remember all the subjects that were chosen but I remember that we had to include two Jedi, Spider-Man and Mutant Green Jello; a Bar may or may not have been something that was going to be included as I remember something about the two Jedi and Spider-Man drinking/being mildly intoxicated.
Leia: okay, now that the Empire is on stable footing I believe that it’s time to do something about the Hutts.
Vader, who’s been waiting for years for this moment, runs off and reappears with wheeled chalkboards, charts, entire portfolios etc, in thirty minutes: we must take swift and decisive action! The Hutts and their criminal empire have been a stain on the galaxy too long! We need to leave no survivors!
Leia, taken completely aback by the presentation material: shouldn’t we try negotiating with them first before we attack?
Vader: the Hutts are scum and delight in the torture of others. They feed those that disappoint or annoy them to wild animals that they hold captive and watch; Jabba the Hutt is known to feed people to a Snarlacc where they slowly digested over the course of a thousand years.
Leia, taken aback by Vader’s fury: surely not all of them are that bad.
Vader: they own and sell slaves on top of running Spice Smuggling Operations and commit countless of crimes.
Leia, not wanting an argue, looks over everything that Vader brought to the meeting: how long have you planned this attack?
Vader: since the formation of the Empire; your predecessor was content to keep the Hutts around as they had their uses.
Leia, tired but not at all surprised: of course he did
A round in the garden makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. This disaster of a man is doing mental gymnastics and its so sad and horrific what palpatine put him through to wave his metaphorical I'm more great lightsaber. Like here Leia is showing basic kindness and he's going. Wait. Is the allowed? Imagine Leia is like. Okay we need to deal with the Hutt somehow. And it's internal screaming in all ends. Oh this is good. I love sunday morning dramas.
HDHSGTHE thank you!!! and yeah it's just a calamity all around.

You’re absolutely right.
The only bad guy who won in The Empire Strikes Back was Jabba.