Wish I Didn't Love You- Neville Longbottom

Wish I Didn't Love You- Neville Longbottom

Neville Longbottom

Seventh Year at Hogwarts

I have never run as fast and desperately in my life as I am doing right now. Even with the pain spreading throughout my body, the only thing I can think about is not being caught. My feet directed me on their own, knowing perfectly well the path they should take. Alecto Carrow had stopped hot on my heels thanks to the Locomotor Mortis I had recently thrown at him. However, that wouldn't last for long. I take the last curve towards my final destination and my mind repeats over and over again what I needed to appear at this moment. Just when I reach the wall for which I had run so much, a door appears in front of my eyes and without thinking twice I enter it. Instantly, I feel all eyes on me and even when I try to get the words out of my mouth, it is almost impossible due to uncontrolled breathing.

– What are you doing standing there? Help her! — Seamus moves through the mass of students, hurriedly approaching me while he takes a quick look at me. 

— Have they followed you here? Did anyone see you enter? —

—No—I manage to say between breaths—I gott rid of Alecto on the way. He won't make it this far. —

—Good. — Seamus' frown deepened as he took in my appearance. I could still feel the intense pounding on my bleeding nose, but nothing compared to the pain in my left arm. — Wake Neville up , he needs to know what happened. —

Padma Patil instantly darts toward one of the hammocks seeking out Neville, while Seamus holds me firmly by the waist and with Colin's help we head towards one of the available chairs. Colin wastes no time and begins to examine me more exhaustively, noticing the multiple blows spread across my body and the arm that made it impossible for me to move. 

—We'll need a bone-growing potion for this...— He hurriedly walks to the other side of the Room of Requirement, being swiftly replaced with a familiar face. —

— (Y/N) — Neville kneels before me, cupping my face in his hands and his expression etched with concern. —What the hell happened? —

—Alecto.— I limit my words to that as Colin had returned with a bottle in his hand. —

—Her arm is broken— He comments to Neville as he sits next to me.—This is what we have left of the Skele-Gro.—It may not be enough to completely repair the damage, but it will help at least. We can heal the nose easily. (Y/N), I know this will hurt but it's necessary, okay? —

—Do what you have to do...— I responded, my voice trembling due to the pain. Neville, sensing my distress, settles beside me, clasping my hand gently, offering a reassuring squeeze. He signals Colin to continue, who seconds after whispers 'Episkey', causing my nose to return to its original state with a small 'crack'. I let out a painful moan when I feel that sensation and I squeeze Neville's hand harder. He begins to gently rub my back while he rests his chin on my head. —

— Here you go — Seamus hands me the Skele-Gro. — it will take some time to do its effect so once you drink it you should lie down. Maybe it will help you with the pain. —

I nod listening to his words and without thinking too much I down the liquid in a single movement. The disgusting taste takes over all my senses and I grimace, handing the bottle to Colin before leaning back against Neville, closing my eyes. The boys leave giving me space and a few minutes later the pain I felt in my arm multiplies four times more, causing me to make multiple complaints of pain and some rebellious tears to escape from my eyes. Neville doesn't leave my side for a second and whispers in my ear that the pain would pass soon and I would be fine. A few minutes later I start to feel a little better and he gets up looking for a piece of cloth that he tears and ties to his liking to put around my arm so that I have some kind of support. The next few minutes were spent in silence allowing my body to get a little used to the pain to the point where I could breathe somewhat normally again.

—How... How did he do this to you? — Neville whispers after a while, causing me to come out of my little trance. —

—I was leaving the library when Alecto saw me. — I sigh, brushing the hair away from my face with the hand that was still healthy — He stopped me and began to question me about where you were hiding. I told him I knew absolutely nothing and he stressed to me over and over again how close you and I were... He couldn't get any information out of me so he decided it was time to take me to the dungeons. Anyway, I escaped before he could do anything else. That's when he started following me and along the way he managed to attack me a couple of times. On one of those times I fell down the stairs and ended up with this.— I point to my nose and arm vaguely. — I knew that if that woman ended up capturing me I would end up dead so I got up and continued my way here. —

—Then you're not going back out there.— He whispers with a thick voice and tense muscles as he observes me carefully. His features were strong and somewhat wrinkled, giving me the impression that he was angry. — I knew that it was a mistake for you to return after the Easter holidays. You should have listened to me (Y/N). —

—And what did you want? That I would sit at home with my hands folded when the school is falling apart and you're basically shouldering the burden alone? What kind of person would I be if I did something like that Neville? —

—Someone who wants to live (Y/N)!— He raises his voice a little, causing my body to tense and the anger to increase.—

—That is the most stupid and selfish thought I have ever heard you say. —

—Selfish?— He laughs sarcastically, shaking his head— Don't you realize? Ginny and Luna are gone. Who knows if they are still alive after all this time. Dean is on the run because his life is in danger and no one is safe here, no one (Y/N). And I’m selfish for wanting to protect you? Look how you are right now! Do you think it's worth it? —

—Why wouldn't it be worth it? Neville, we're in this together. I can't be far from my friends, from you, knowing the type of people we are facing. You and I made a promise and I won't be the one to break it. So forgive me if you don't agree with my way of thinking, but it is what it is and that's the end of the matter. —He snorts, shaking his head and crosses his arms, remaining silent for a few minutes.—

—Sometimes, I wish I hadn't fallen for you…— Neville's words pull my gaze to him, and as he sighs, I see the weight of his feelings mirrored in his eyes. — Not in this reality we're trapped in. I wish I didn't have to fear losing you, seeing you hurt, or wondering if each kiss might be the last. But that's not the hand we've been dealt. I can't stop loving you, can't shake off these fears, can't help being selfish when it comes to you, because, (Y/N), you're everything to me. Just try to see it from my side, even for a moment, please.—

His voice wavers, and my heart clenches, a lump forming in my throat. Shifting on the couch, I lean against his chest, feeling his arms envelop me in a cocoon of warmth.

—That's what I do every single day.— I murmur, hiding my face in the curve of his neck.— I've seen you hurt so often, I've feared your life slipping away in my arms. I've watched you champion others, devise plans to protect them, and take risks just to show us reasons to keep fighting. I hate that you constantly put yourself in danger, yet I can't help but believe you're the person we all need in these times. Let me support you. Don't push me away, asking me to see things your way because I can't, not when I'm here to care for you and others just as you do.—

Neville sighs and pulls me a little tighter in his arms, careful not to touch my injured arm. We remain silent for a couple of minutes until he separates himself a little from me so he can look me in the eyes.

—Let's clean you up a little so you can rest. I'll be back, stay here. - I move away from him so he could go get some things and he returns with a cloth and some water. He sits down next to me and begins to wipe the blood off of my face with such gentleness that it seems as if he were afraid of breaking.

My gaze traces his face, lingering on his pink lips and the newly grown beard, a testament to the weeks spent confined in the Room of Requirement. Stress had etched maturity onto his features, evident in the shadows beneath his eyes—common to all of us—but he retained the same handsome allure from last summer, perhaps even more so. As he finishes tending to me, a tender kiss graces my cheek, eliciting a half-hearted smile that cherishes every display of affection from him.

Resting my forehead against his, I toy with his hand before our lips brush fleetingly, fulfilling the longing that had brewed within me for days. Our mouths meet in a soft, unhurried kiss, an expression of emotions unspoken. When we separate, Neville's faint smile lingers, punctuating the moment with a final kiss placed gently upon my forehead.

—It's better that you rest for a while. I have to go get more food. When I get back I'll wake you up, okay? — I nod and he gets up from the couch so he can lie me down on it. — I'll see you later, try not to scare me anymore today, okay? —

—Only if you try not to give me headaches either. — Neville laughs lowly, rolling his eyes and nods. —

— I can try, I don't promise anything. —I smile and Neville waves goodbye, while I close my eyes trying to fall asleep.—

things you can do at any stage in life:

love yourself

have a fresh start

go back to school

recover

make new friends

fall in love

go to therapy

learn a skill

discover your passion

repair relationships

change the world

find a new hobby

be happy

it isn’t too late for you. you’ll be okay. there’s no time limit on happiness.

Masterlist

Updated: 9/14/2024

Danny Ramirez

A Proper Hello (RPF)

Getting the Falcon Role (RPF)

Chasing Sparks (RPF)

Joseph Quinn

Crossed Paths (RPF)

In Your Embrace (RPF)

Joe Keery

A Taste of Italy (RPF)

MET GALA (RPF)

Harry Potter Fandom

George Weasley

Unspoken Connection

Second Chance

Ron Weasley

My Good Luck Charm

Theodoro Nott

Under the stars

Regulus Black

By my side

Dean Thomas

The Space Between Us

Remus Lupin

Beneath the Surface

Draco Malfoy

The Weight of Expectations

Neville Longbottom

Wish I Didn't Love You

Punshing Bodies jaja :) @priieta (Taken with GifBoom)

In Your Embrace- Joseph Quinn

Description: Joe has a rough day at work, but at the end of the day he gets to unwind and distract himself with the only person he would rather spend time with.

Word count: 1772

Warnings: None, Pure Fluff

Joe had only been home for about an hour, still shaking off the exhaustion of a long day filled with back-to-back meetings and endless tasks. He hadn’t had a moment to reach out to Y/N, the one person who could always make him feel grounded. Now, finally settled in bed, he picked up his phone and scrolled through his apps, feeling the quiet of his apartment settle around him.

It was just before 9:30 p.m., their usual time to reconnect when the chaos of the day would finally quiet down. With a tired but eager sigh, Joe tapped on the FaceTime icon. A wave of anticipation mixed with the weariness still clinging to him as he waited for her face to appear on the screen. 

Y/N had just stepped out of the shower when her phone rang. She wrapped a towel around herself, glancing at the screen before answering the call. Her hair, still damp, clung to her cheeks, and she greeted him with a soft smile. "Hiiii," she said, showing just half of her face through the camera, her eyes narrowing in that familiar way when she smiled.

Joe appeared on her screen, a small grin tugging at his lips. “Hey, love,” he greeted, his voice warm but edged with noticeable tiredness. He could see she was still finishing up her routine, her usual products on sight.

“Do you want me to call you back later?” he asked softly, noticing she was still getting dressed. His tone was gentle, trying not to rush her.

Y/N quickly shook her head. “No, it’s alright. I’m nearly done,” she replied, disappearing from the screen momentarily to pull on some clothes. Her voice was slightly muffled as she added, “How are you? How’s your day been?”

Joe’s smile faded a bit, and he let out a small sigh, his accent a little thicker, making his words sound heavier. “It was alright,” he said vaguely, his tone subdued. “Just thought I’d call you before you go to bed.”

When Y/N returned to view, her body fully in the frame now, she noticed the shift in his expression. “Did something happen? You seem a bit off,” she pressed gently, a playful yet concerned lilt to her voice as she searched his face through the screen.

Joe shook his head, trying to make himself comfortable, shifting his position on the bed while keeping his gaze fixed on her. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it. Just tell me about your day,” There was a hint of effort in his voice, as if he were trying too hard to sound casual.

Though not entirely convinced, Y/N decided to play along. She began recounting the events of her day, adding in some of the gossip they both enjoyed. Joe’s lips curved into a small smile, his dimples deepening whenever he laughed softly at her stories. He made the occasional comment, enough to keep the conversation flowing, but his usual energy was missing.

Despite the lighthearted banter, it was clear to Y/N that something was weighing on Joe’s mind. She could see it in the way he occasionally rubbed his temple or how his fingers tapped restlessly against the bed sheets.

“Okay, I’m sorry. But... Are you sure you’re okay? It doesn’t seem like it.” 

Joe let out a long sigh, his shoulders relaxing slightly as he finally admitted, “I’ve had a rough day with press interviews and handling logistics for the next project. Just a bit under the weather. Nothing specific. But it’ll pass…”

Y/N nodded, her expression softening. “Is there anything I can do to cheer you up? We could watch a film or do something else you fancy.”

Joe’s lips curved into a faint, tired smile. “I wouldn’t mind one of your hugs right now.”

“A hug?” Y/N chuckled, a playful glint in her eyes. “I'm always down for that. What are we gonna do about that then?”

His smile widened, his dimples becoming more pronounced. He glanced at his phone, considering it for a moment. “Fancy a drive? I can pick you up if you’re not too tired.”

“Sure. Can I go like this?” Y/N asked, showing him her oversized T-shirt and biker shorts.

“Yeah, you’re fine like that. I’ll be there in 15 minutes, alright?”

“Sounds good. See you soon."

They hung up, both moving quickly to get ready. Joe grabbed a blanket and an extra hoodie, just in case, then left his flat and fetched the car from the garage. He sent Y/N a quick text as he arrived, and she hurried out, shivering slightly in the night’s chill.

When Y/N slid into the car, she greeted Joe with a smile and a quick kiss. He smiled back, letting her choose the music as he drove. The hum of the engine and the familiar beats of their shared playlist filled the space, creating a comforting backdrop for their light chatter. Y/N kept her conversation minimal, sensing that Joe needed some quiet to process whatever was on his mind.

After a few minutes, Joe reached out, his free hand searching for hers. Y/N intertwined their fingers without hesitation, and he began gently stroking her hand, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles, his eyes never leaving the road. His serious yet calm demeanor reassured her, even as his arm flexed slightly with each turn, veins visible in the dim light.

They made a quick stop at a petrol station for snacks and drinks. Y/N chuckled at Joe's snack haul, grabbing a chocolate bar while Joe picked an assortment of crisps and a couple of fizzy drinks. Back on the road, he took a sip of his drink and grinned mischievously.

“Did you know that cows can have best friends? They get stressed when they’re separated from them. So, if you ever see a cow looking sad, it might just be missing its BFF.”

Y/N looked at him with a blank face, biting into her chocolate. “Hmm, exactly how you act when you're not around me,” she quipped back, a teasing smile playing on her lips.

Joe raised an eyebrow, trying not to smile. "Alright, your turn."

"Okay, I got one. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?"

Joe gave a mock sigh, playing along. "Why?"

“Because they make up everything…” Y/N said with a smirk. She paused before adding, "Kinda like you do."

Joe rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically. "Oh, so we're going there, are we?"

They continued their playful banter, tossing silly jokes back and forth. Joe’s tone grew more animated as they went on, his laughter becoming more genuine. Y/N could see the tension melting away from his features, his smile becoming more relaxed.

“Alright, alright. I think you’ve won this round,” Joe finally conceded, a wide grin spreading across his face. The trivia game, filled with side glances and stifled chuckles, had turned into a riot of laughter. Their playful competition kept the mood light and joyful, making the drive an enjoyable experience despite Joe’s earlier down mood.

Eventually, they arrived at a quaint park with a panoramic view just outside the suburbs. Joe grabbed the blanket and hoodie, and Y/N followed him.

They both took in the view, and he handed Y/N the blanket to keep her warm while he wrapped himself in the hoodie.

“I’ve only been here a handful of times,” Joe said, his voice softer now. “But there’s something about this place that I really love.”

“I mean... The view alone is reason enough,” Y/N replied with a smile. “I don’t think I would have experienced England the way I have if it weren’t for you.”

“You probably would have,” Joe said, mimicking her expression and sitting on the edge of the car. “There’s still so much more I want you to see.”

“Good thing we’ve got some time.”

Y/N lingered for a few moments before turning to Joe with a playful grin. Joe was already looking at her, his expression shifting from confusion to a small smile as she moved closer and opened her arms for a hug.

He welcomed her with open arms and a warm laugh, letting her hold him tight as she wrapped him in the blanket. His arms rested gently on the lower part of her back, and his chin rested on top of her head, leaving a soft kiss there.

Since they’d met, Joe had noticed Y/N wasn’t a big fan of physical touch with just anyone. Only a few people got that kind of affection from her, and thankfully, he was one of them.

He never turned down a hug, kiss, or even the smallest touch from her, even if they were upset with each other.

“Hey,” Joe murmured after a while. Y/N lifted her head to meet his gaze. Joe smiled down at her, taking in her features and the pimple patch she had on before leaning in for a kiss.

Joe’s kisses usually started soft, almost as if offering a preview of what was to come. When he deepened the kiss, his hand, adorned with rings, cupped her face while the other hand held her waist securely.

Their lips moved together in a rhythm that seemed to crave more, and when Joe bit her lip, Y/N melted, letting his tongue explore as the intensity grew.

They only broke apart when they needed air, both of them noticing how their lips had turned red and slightly plumper.

Y/N smiled shyly, her cheeks flushed as if it were the first time they had shared such a tender moment. She rested her face against his chest for a brief second, making Joe genuinely laugh.

“Only gave you a kiss and your knees are already weak?” Joe teased with a laugh, his eyes becoming smaller with the act. 

Y/N playfully punched his chest, laughing. “Shut up, Joe.”

“But am I even lying? ” he said, trying not to laugh as his hands wandered to her backside and gave it a playful squeeze.

“Joseph!” she exclaimed, half-laughing, half-protesting.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry! Don’t be looking so good then. It’s not my fault,” Joe said, his tone light and teasing.

“I literally look like a bag lady,” Y/N laughed along with him. “Leave me alone.”

“I haven’t done anything to you. It’s my presence that makes you nervous.”

“No, it doesn’t. Don’t let it go to your head,” Y/N retorted with a small, playful smile.

Joe laughed even harder and pulled her closer, allowing himself to enjoy all of her presence. Spending time alone together turned out to be exactly what Joe needed, making the hours of stress and exhaustion seem now like a complete distant memory.