I'll Break Your Heart

i'll break your heart

i don't think i can feel good about myself and body unless important people say I am pretty and the best and not family members or "nobodies" on the internet.

maybe dating a super star would help to. that would be good.

but how would some nobody with a crooked spine land someopne who is aesticly pleasing to the point it's their job to be pretty?

won't that be so cool for others? then they can have hope.  that maybe someone who has clubbed feet and face tumors and born with no ears can get a sexy thing

that maybe someone a little "slow" can wind up marrying a movie star.

imagen how special and good they are if one dosen't marry someone "good and pretty and famous just like them"

the only way to be in entertainment is use the internet for comady and acting. but I can't even be a proper troll

yezzz

http://themindunleashed.org/2014/07/8-ways-protect-emotional-manipulation.html

oh nos I'm a target

stupid things mean to much to me. but i try to kill that part of me so I don't kill anyone who tells me to kill myself for "tv shows and video games are my life, and by life I don't mean job, I mean I will die without geeking out on anime and sci fi series and I can easily spend all my money on merchandise"

are you all sure these people are just not also targeted for their melodrama? saying you are obcessed with the private lives of actors is pretty damn creepy.

I'm going though the "target"'s tumblrs to get a looksie.

really, if you make yourself out to be a frothing groupie, border line psyco stalker, then you are asking for it. or maybe I come from a differnt world of distancing myself from everything, if I'm detaching myself from parts of life and not being a rabid fan of my own interpersional relationships then I am going to see people doing it for others to be weird. But hey, when professionals show their private lives, and that they are humans and not magical gods, it feels like we can be their friends. it just weirds me out and makes me want to tell people "look, stop, ok, this is why they pick on you, wtf, stop being weird ok, I don't care if your creapy feelings keep you from falling apart. it's disturbing"

and shippers. I'm looking for them too. really, if you are a "the only thing that keeps me alive is writing smutt of real people" then guess what? monsters are going to get you. -I- will come and get you with "eww, wtf. why can't you stick with characters, dude, if I was a big wig hollywood deal and best friends with Tina Fey, and you wrote porn of me and her, I'm  crunch your hands" or of course the incest shippers disturb me. Maybe it is someone who wants to be creative, but "dear god, no wonder they pick on you. thinking it's hotter for brothers to be lovers." look folks. if you support them, then I'll write that father-son coming of age movie where they become sexualy involved and you justice warriors give me money to create the damned thing"

when you have mental health issues, I am sure being called a "feckless farbrain" is detrimental. drama fighting studies is my hobby. that is the thing here maybe. dull knifes and thin skin, fueld by poor mental health. "you are a sick person and the thing you love is stupid. go die" is a real bullet to the head. anyone else would be 'bite me punk!"  or again the "OMG without my favorite tv shows, my YAOI, my Creepypasta I am deads" will bring "wow, really? that is all you have to live for? seesh"(a lot of teenage girls, gay porn is the only thing keeping them alive)

I'm studying you. I don't use tumblr a lot. I forgot I had one. mostly because of the way you comment on things.  so I have no clue what is happening in the tumblr world. but I am guessing tumblr communities are deeper than dopey blogs where people share .gifs and tumblr is still micro blogging, and people become known for that. which I don't know if it is "my interne thero puts up _____.gifs and unloads their life problems

does it occure to some, the ones that don't get it come from other worlds, where people should be more private? or don't understand some mental illness comes with impulse control?(again some might be asking for it. I know from experience, but I have medication so I am 3/6ths fine)

the words are that harsh? harsh for everyone? because I really am thinking I can kill terrorists with cyberbullying. if 40,000 teens die from fandom attacks, from "u r stupid because you like things, go die" then I am sure I can kill 2 terrorists.  but this is what these things are, vulnerable teens, and not rock solid adults.

just like the mentaly ill shooters who go on rampages. there is something going on upstairs. but some people are making these things look like "strong willed person dies because they are in love with Castiel from Supernatural" it should be "teen girl dies of sad, because she thinks she is him or keeps saying she suffers every second of her life because he is not real. it's hard not to go after those people. "you don't udnerstand, weren't you a love struck kid once"  what am I saying? just don't be supprised when you get picked on for admitting to be obcessivly in love with characters. But when you are teen, you can't help it. it's just I feel like loling at the face of someone who is. because sometimes there are teens who go to war with each other over stupid shit. I used to watch a snark community, and apparently some kids got snarked over friggen Sonic the Hedgehog and OCs. some stupid ass girl, went and attacked a stupider ass girl "because Sonic loves them/their oc" they got jealous over a video game character. now come on. you think that dosen't deserve a mocking? how do you not?

oh my god

so why are not the war going after, again, dog fuckers, child porn fans, munhaouchens by internet, kids that treat it fun and cool to have mental illness. "LOL I'm so schizotypal lol cool love me" folks.

I am not in the place for the rant. I'm kind of off my medication due to neglegence of getting it.

so yeah. can't brain yet.

why are so many people passive about it? if someone told me to kill myself for reasons(like finding Black Men unattractive and scary looking and I won't date em)

I'm more the kind who'd backlash with things like "say that again and I'll sodomise you with a hot gluegun and inject the glue in your ass"

you don't tell me to die.

I can't brain right now. I want to post.

and be a Poe. so then I can make people hate me. so I can get people to cry for me. and laugh about it later.