Intro: Singularity: Drinking Red Wine From A Penthouse Suite, Looking Down At The Busy Streets And Staring

intro: singularity: drinking red wine from a penthouse suite, looking down at the busy streets and staring at the night skyline. the city that never sleeps.

fake love: climbing a mountain in the morning, but the paths are rough. rocks dig into your shoe, but you push onwards; the peak never seemed so far away.

the truth untold: listening to the man playing the piano at a restaurant. each press of his finger against the board sounds reminiscent of something you can’t quite remember.

134340: going on a road trip with no destination in mind, you just keep going. the sun is setting, but time drips like honey. you roll the window down, and the breeze beats itself gently across your face.

paradise: dancing with a partner you had just met at the bar. they dance in circles around you, and you barely keep up. the buzz in your bones pushes you on and on.

love maze: taking off in a plane, going to a place you had only read of in books. you know you’re going to get lost, but that’s part of the fun, isn’t it? 

magic shop: watching the ones you love succeeding all around you, all of their faces stretching with happiness. they take the last few steps up the podium, and the shutter of your camera resounds in the auditorium. everything is illuminant.

airplane pt 2: walking through a crowded night market somewhere in south america, the heat enveloping you in a semi-uncomfortable blanket. your lover takes you by the hand, a grin on their face dripping with mischief and adventure.

anpanman: dancing without any real rhythm, surrounded by friends. they laugh with you, watching as your arms flap around you like a bird. in that moment, you think that you could have reached the sky if you tried.

so what: meeting someone new in a place you have always called home, they take you by surprise with their unrelenting curiosity. they point and stare at things you had always called ordinary, and suddenly the world seems so big again.

outro: tear: walking through an abandoned building, and you are existing in a place that shouldn’t be real. everything is surreal and you feel the air force itself down your throat. there’s a sense of urgency where there shouldn’t be. something’s about to end.

‘life is not meant to not meet the person you love, min yoongi you changed me for good you’re the one person i feel connected to and i feel sad and happy at the same time cause i don’t get to meet you but i still get to admire you from afar.

maybe our paths won’t ever meet but you’re the one i’ve always aspired and dreamed of, you’re the one that makes me happy, you’re the one to me and i hope you get to feel happy for the rest of your life’

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✨fire✨

being in love, is way harder than what people make it seem is.

loving, is developing yourself with someone by your side, depending not merely but gradually in someone else; sharing your deepest and darkest secrets; giving your truthful happiness and your saddest moments to someone, or something. getting to know someone deeply is hard, and showing your obscure self is indeed harder.

still we keep on dreaming that the perfect love is yet to come.

true perfect love, ah. that’s something we all should know doesn’t exist, not in its purest form not in its demonic way. we love, we act in love, and yet still we don’t belong.

-

yoongi, he knew love wasn’t something he could just snap out of his heart, he knew he couldn’t just throw himself to love someone without fear, without knowing. well, that’s exactly what he did, when he met him.

jimin, he didn’t know to which extent he could love, he was naive, fresh out of a relationship hoping he could feel loved once again. believing that loving someone was a pure form of affection. and when he found him, he might have lost a little hope.

-

fuck ton of shit happened in the while they’ve been together, arguments, fights, smiles, laughs. but all that couldn’t get them ready for what had been coming.

cheating, drinking, “friends”, parties and parties. maybe it was just toxic that they kept going, but they thought their bond was stronger than infidelity, harsh and disrespectful words, people meddling in and the constant substance abuse. love was blinding them so bad, that they didn’t even realize that love wasn’t the way they were feeling anymore.

pure hatred, pity, pettiness, lust, pleasure.

the best way to describe what those two lovers were feeling.

-

while everything kept being as toxic as it was, they just thought of one way to amend things and make everything better. hiding themselves in the bedroom, constantly, kissing, touching, lack of meaningful words were spilled throughout this time. thinking that maybe just maybe every single action done there could actually fix whatever the situation was.

neither of them could talk about the urging fire that was going under their roof, they wanted out, but didn’t know how to get out without getting hurt or hurting the other.

-

if you ever wondered who was the one at fault, well, both of them were.

· jimin cheated multiple times, brought friends to their house in more than one occasion, them turning out to be more than just a buddy.

· yoongi was drunk out of his mind and zone most of the time, meanwhile spewing venom to jimin. but he was just too in love to let go.

yoongi didnt care about the hurt and the pain that jimin brought to him, he loved him deeply and truly, he tried to look pass the cheating, the lust he felt for others. he couldn’t just let go of someone who knew his whole deep self. he confided in jimin, he told him stuff that no one ever knew about him, he felt so broken that the person he loved the most in his entire life could make him feel so worthless and useless.

jimin, a whole new story and a broken one, the confused one out of the two. he felt empty inside out, never in his entire life he felt comfort in others, and now that the situation got even worst he felt better, he felt fuller when he was with another one that wasn’t his lover. yoongi maybe never realized that the words he threw at him hurt so much, it hurt to the point that he couldn’t believe that the one talking was claiming that he loved him. and he could just never forget.

-

leaving your old empty house is never easy, and for the two it wasn’t much easier either.

it all ended, with a simple goodbye, the house was burnt to ashes and the fire was still in both of their homes.

they were tired, that to say the least, none of them could keep going at the rhythm they were going. they were yelling, crying, hurting, they were hurting so bad. that just one simple sentence can set their world on fire once again.

the fight was intense, flying objects were all over the place, on the air on the ground, setting everything on the table was just one hell of an idea, but a much needed one. they cried so much. they loved harder than ever before. but they knew there was a time to let go.

yoongi spoke this word to jimin before the exile of their love “i love you, i do. as much as i don’t want to love you, as much as everything in my heart tells me not to love you, i do”. he said. not being able to look at him in the eyes, holding onto his tears, turning to face the wall, grabbing the concrete just so he doesn’t fall.

jimin then went ahead and answered “every cell in my body tells me i should love you too. but i can’t not anymore. but at the same times my brain tells me that is not time to let go, not yet. please don’t let us dry. i love you, and i love you so much more, and it hurts and im hurting. and i know you hurt to.” jimin said with a tear rolling down his cheek. feeling unpowered by love itself and so broken.

to which yoongi answered with his heart on his hands “i do think is time to let go. i can’t deal with the pain anymore we just destroy each other”. letting go of his tears.

jimin succumbing to the pain and the hurt said “goodbye then, i guess” opening the door, and leaving to never come back, with his heart on the hand and tears streaming down his face.

sometimes thinking about jimin gives me emotional support ✨

do you remember summer ‘09?

️alone 

jimin had to keep on living, he had to stop thinking, he had to stop getting hurt. he did some shit yeah, but doesn’t mean he has to be ghosted by his old and much dearest to his heart friends. they left him, they left him to feel rotten and broken, the words of “i’ll be here no matter what happens” rings onto his mind, realizing that that one was just a lie. he wanted out, he didn’t what to feel not anymore, he was lonely and desperate. his “friends” assuming he was okay, going to yoongi instead, caring much more for him than for himself. he hated it, he felt left out, abandoned, and he wanted to cry. but he wouldn’t. nothing was worth crying anymore. Not his friends, not yoongi. -

jimin returned to what once upon a time made him break, this time, maybe adding a few more stuff, drugs, alcohol and the same old same lust he looked for pleasure, he looked for stuff that could fill in the hole that yoongi left when he decided to leave him out to dry. he needed something. every night regretting the things he’d done and remembering the arms of the one he really wants to feel. fuck, jimin was so fucked up, he couldn’t stand life anymore, he couldn’t find any purpose to living it, other that the memories he held from him and his old lover. to the point where the only thing he thought about was yoongi, yoongi, yoongi, yoongi his mind kept screaming yoongi. he needed him he couldn’t live without him. there was a breaking point, he was broken once again, but not in the same way as he was before. he didn’t care, not anymore, he now let’s people just toy with his body, make him introduce substances having no clue of what they are and being aware that he was being destroyed. he destroyed himself for him.

-

he didn’t believe in love, he couldn’t, he was suffering so much. it hurt he was hurting; he couldn’t get out of the cycle he was in. he wanted to rot nothing yet again made sense. as in for yoongi, he knew jimin was having it rough but he didn’t know he was destroying himself. till one day he saw him, he was there sitting on a club, with probably more than one boy next to him. jimin was letting them touch him, kiss him, he let them do whatever they wanted, jimin was alone now, that’s what yoongi was thinking. he saw jimin stand up from his sit, being really touchy with one of the guys that were insinuating themselves for him. and that broke yoongi, even though he did the same every night, seeing jimin’s dead eyes follow that dude to what seemed redemption, he felt something on the inside pinch and explode. he then realized he was the one who hurt him. He was the one that even though he knew jimin was watching his every move he broke him letting him see whatever he was doing with other people. and at that moment he knew, jimin didn’t want to be saved anymore. but then again he wanted to save him.

-

but then again, life is unexpected. it wasn’t a surprise anymore when yoongi left  15 missed calls on jimin’s phone, he felt regetful, that’s a first. when jimin picked up, shit was rough yoongi couldn’t stand what jimin wanted to say to him. he couldn’t stand the fact that jimin felt regretful for whatever he did, he didn’t want it to be true, he didn’t want to be hating jimin for nothing. but that was all he had hatred on his body.

jimin knew yoongi fucked he fucked up. yet still he was wiling to be forgiving, it’s hard to let go when in the first place you didn’t even want to. 

yoongi messed things up again, and that was were this unending cycle begun.