Yall Ever Just Hear The Most Out There Shit And Be Like-

Yall ever just hear the most out there shit and be like-

"You do you, I'll do me, and thank God we ain't doing eachother bro."

Heard from @thetopazdragon that you two are buds, so I suggest a friendly competition to see who can make a better one shot-

Idea- Fem reader who is bio siblings with Kaeya but Diluc has a little huge crush on her, but since Kaeya is such a trouble maker, Diluc has to get reader alone for a bit to confess~

Will thou accept the challenge?

-Anon🐧

I shall accept this challenge, feathered foe. Let's see how my opponent fairs, if they so choose to partake in this battle-

The Mondstadt sun was blaring down on the winery as if it was trying to melt you and the boys as you were out working. The upcoming festival called for extra wine due to anticipated travelers and guests, so you and your brother came to help at the winery.

"Put the bottle down or I'll get Diluc to change the locks." You threatened your brother Kaeya as he slowly turned to see you behind him. "Heh- Sister, I was merely going to try the liquors to ensure they're best for sales." You roll your eyes and take what few steps separated you from him, then snatched the bottle from his hand.

"Outside now-" You ordered your older brother with a stern tone. "You can have this whole bottle when I think you've worked enough." You promised as you shooed him out of the cellar.

"Deal!" He gleefully exclaimed. You watched as he left to go help the winery workers pick grapes and other ingredients for the wines. "You solved that rather peacefully-" Said a voice from behind the door as soon as you had stepped out of the cellar. As you turned you saw your adopted brother, Diluc.

In all honesty, you never really saw him as a brother. He was more like a close friend that you spent most of your childhood with. He was 3 years older than you, but he never treated you like a child. He always was so kind and gentle with you as you grew up with him.

Thinking back on your younger years made you smile before you snapped yourself back to the present.

"O-oh yeah. Just figured he should be helping too." You said with a soft laugh. He looked down at you as he closed the door. "So I should change the locks, eh?" He asked, repeating your threat to Kaeya earlier. "Haha, you heard that?" You nervously looked away. "Uh, yeah- it would keep him out so he'll have to keep working." He grins with a nod. "Good idea, I'll get them changed out soon, and you go hide that bottle to keep up your end of the bargain." He says.

"Let's just keep it in the cellar for now if he won't be able to get in, yeah?" You suggest, to which he nods in agreement. "You best be off then, I believe you came to help too-" He said with a knowing smirk. "Oh right! Thanks for the reminder!" You quickly placed the bottle back in the cellar then ran to assist Adelinde in making refreshments for the hard workers who were out in the sun.

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Heavy leather boots thumping on the wooden floors caught your attention as you cleaned up in the kitchen. You saw Diluc carrying kegs of wine to the cellar from the day. Leaving the kitchen, you opened the door for him so he wouldn't have to stop. "Thank you." You nodded with a soft smile as you propped the door open with a nearby vase of flowers.

The sun began to set as the yellow and orange hues of the pastel sky faded into the deep hues of purple and cobalt making night set in. You rolled kegs into the cellar as Diluc lifted them unto the racks until all work was finished.

"There- That's all for today." Diluc deep voice grumbled as he stepped out of the cellar and shut the door. "Wash up and I've got some dinner for you." You say, as you dust off your hands on your shirt. "Be there in a bit." He replies as he kneels before the door with a key you haven't seen before and inserted it. "Did ya change the locks already?" You inquired.

"Of course, unlike the inefficient Knights, I get my problems solved as soon as they appear." He says as he finished locking the door and stuffing the key inside his coat pocket. You chuckled at his statement, he never liked the knights and you always found it rather funny that he was sorta like one in your eyes.

"Alright dinner then bed?" He asked.

"Dinner then bed." You agreed.

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"What the heck you guys?!"

You rushed inside to see a distressed Kaeya near the cellar. "They actually changed the locks on me! Can you believe that?!" You crossed your arms. "Really brother?" He froze up as he stopped his miniature tantrum and stared at you. "We had a deal, no alcohol until you've earned it. Now outside." You demanded. He left with a dejected expression.

You felt a bit bad, but you knew this was needed. Besides the festivities were to start in a few days and the wine needed to be prepared soon!

From the other room Diluc watched as you kept your brother in line. He grinned, he had feelings for you for some time but seeing you take charge like this made him fall for you all the more. He was absolutely head over heels for you, he knew he was ever since he was a teen. But he could never ask because there was always something or someone that prevented him.

Kaeya. He needed to get him out of the way for a bit.

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After the third days work Diluc put all the full kegs into the cellar. Lifting them onto the walls with what looked like no effort at all.

Halfway through his efforts there was a soft click. Poking his head out of the cellar he saw his brother. "Hey, gimme a hand here-" He requested, putting hi plan into motion. With a sigh Kaeya walked over and helped Diluc with the kegs. Once a full wall had been stocked they called it a night.

"Finally!" Kaeya said exasperated as he walked out of the cellar. "Hold up." Diluc called him back, making him groan in what almost sounded like actual agony. "Don't be like that- I got somethin' for ya." The redhead says as he rummages through the cellar for the bottle he had attempted to swipe a few days prior. "Please say it's not more work..." He whined. "Quite the opposite actually-" Diluc laughed as he stepped out and handed Kaeya the bottle.

Taking the bottle Kaeya grinned. "____ told you about our deal?" "Yep, and your free to go. Works almost done so you can go back home now." He said, hinting that he should leave now. Keaya nodded with a gleeful grin before walking out and heading back to Mondstadt, wine in hand and and hangover in the future.

Diluc smirked to himself. Gone off without a hitch, now with the main distraction out of the way his odds of asking you out just got way better. As he locked up the rest of the winery he finished up the day and called it a night.

The next day you arrived early as usual and let yourself inside to meet Adelinde. You assisted with morning chores, cleaning the winery, anything you could get your hands on really. Most of the vineyards had been picked clean in the days prior so you just decided to make yourself useful in other ways until you were no longer needed or until the festival had at least passed.

After an hour the tell tale sound of thumping boots sounded from down the hall. You grabbed a glass of lemonade and stepped out of the kitchen with a smile. "Morni- oh!" You cut yourself off as you saw Diluc with a bouquet of flowers in hand. "Who's the lucky girl? Or guy?" You ask, a cheeky smile curving your lips.

"That would be you, my dear." He swiftly responded, making you choke on your own spit. At the sound of your coughing to clear your throat, Adelinde peeks her head around the corner, only to disappear into the kitchen once again as Diluc nods his head for her to leave. Diluc pats your back with his freehand until you take a deep breath. "I'm sorry. What?!" You exclaimed in utter shock.

He takes the lemonade from your hand and replaces it with the bouquet as he chuckles. "The lucky girl just so happens to be you." He elaborated. "Is this a 'thank you' for helping with the winery? Because if it is, it's really not nes-" "It's not." He interrupts. "These are an... um-" He clears his throat as the situation sets in for him.

Was he really about to ask out the girl he was crushing on for the past few years? Would this be the one time he could actually get the question out? Archons, was he always this nervous? Or was this time just more intimate? No, he had to snap outta it. He was going to do this.

"These are 'I like you... Maybe even love you, flowers.'" He says, mentally kicking himself over how incredibly stupid he sounded compared to his usual composed self. You chuckled softly, fiddling with the petals on one of the sunflowers. "You think you love me?" You ask as a blush sets itself into your cheeks and you shift your weight from foot to foot.

He gulps as hit mouth begins to feel dry. With a nod he clears his throat once more. "I was hoping I could mayhaps take you on a date?" He offers. He pulls his hands behind his back as he pulls his gloves off. The anxiety he felt made his hands sweat, and the gloves made things much worse. He pulled them off and slipped them into his pockets as he awaited your response anxiously.

"I like you too-" You began. YES! He thought. You had accepted his advances. "But let me think about the date part." NO! "But of course, about when can I expect an answer?" He asked, trying his best to not sound desperate. "By the end of the day, I promise." You replied. "I can do that." He said, lying through his teeth.

The day went on and Diluc practically tortured himself as he worked. Thinking or the many, many scenarios of how you could answer him. Would you agree and go out with him? Would you say no and never speak to him again? Would things become awkward between the two of you? He sighed as he continued filling another keg.

The hours felt like decades but by the time it was finally dusk, Diluc raced to the winery to meet with you and to have your answer.

Upon his arrival he saw you sitting at the table with dinner, a new glass vase with his bouquet settled in the center. "Hello there, Adelinde and I got dinner ready." You said as you welcomed him inside. He closed the door behind himself and came to sit at the table where his plate was set across from yours. "So..." He wanted his answer immediately, but he didn't want to seem rude and just demand it outright.

Thankfully, you knew Diluc, and you knew him well. "You must want to know my answer." You say as you look down at your plate with a grin, cutting your food before taking a bite. "Ah, yes." He replies, greatfull you knew what was on his mind.

You looked up at him with a soft smile and pulled on of the flowers from the vase. "Diluc, I honestly thought these flowers would've been for someone else. But I did say that whoever they were for would be lucky, didn't I?" You asked. Only answering his query with another. He nods. "Well yes." He responds. "Then I guess we'll both be lucky."

Taking the flower in your hand you place it in his hair so it gently rests on his ear. He looks at you with a pinkish hue to his cheeks. "Does this mean?" He asked, to which to nodded. Without a second thought he gets up and jumps the table.

Within seconds his hands were on your waist as his lips met yours, making you gasp in surprise. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that!" He says with an exasperated sigh. Your face was full-on red before you reached up on your tip toes and kissed his cheek. "So about that date?" You asked.

"It'll be the best date you've ever been on sweetheart. How does a vacation to Wangshu Inn sound?" He asks, knowing you've always wanted to visit. You look up at him with the brightest smile he's ever seen, which he takes as his answer. "I'll book a reservation as soon as possible!"

Okay, I've been seeing so much "Save a horse, Ride a cowboy" shit recently and imma be honest

I'd save any horse, hell I'd save every horse. I love animals but not every cowboy is worth riding. I'd be the girl to save the horse and go "Ey! You dumbfuck! Ya left 'em out again." As I glared at them. Maybe even threaten them or ask for cash while I'm at it, y'know? Just for funsies! "Better keep a better eye on 'em or next time I'll keep 'em fer m'self! Now since I brought 'er back this time, 20 bucks!" I'd be a major pain in the ass about it.

So yea, I'd save any horse but I'd piss off the cowboy <3

Since I've already been called out (Fuck you too @zhonglis-little-slvt) here's a few of my works

Okay I love this, it's so sweet and I think it's also really relatable cuz I sure as shit don't think I'm desirable. (probs why I'm still single lol)

Your thirties, everyone says they're the best years. All your friends found husbands or wives and have gotten married and had four kids or so. And then there was you. 32, single, with a few friends and a nightshift job every couple of days with hellish hours but decent pay.

In all honesty, you gaslighted yourself into thinking you were happy because let's be honest, therapy is too expensive these days. But thankfully your luck was about to change.

Ya see, behind your back your friends were gathering intel on simple things like, what's your type, what do you like, interests, needs, stuff like that. And what did they do with all this knowledge? They passed to your parents who you had cut off for being in your business too much, like now.

As you went from your day to day your friends and family planned and signed a marriage certificate to someone you haven't even met yet. So you, unknowingly, were now married to a stranger.

Days later as you were at one of your favorite coffee shops, where you met with one of your friends whom you chatted with for hours before the topic slipped and soon you were fuming. "YOU DID WHAT?!" You shouted as you stood, slamming your hands on the table. "W-we thought it was for the best, your parents said-" They began before you silenced them abruptly. "My familial matters shouldn't concern you Monica!" You practically screeched as you rapidly gathered a teacake or two and your latte before storming out of the café, leaving the rest of the onlookers to awkwardly stare at Monica.

Hurried steps carried you to your apartment and inside before you shut and locked the door. The heel of your hand wiped against your eye as you smeared your tears away. "God.. Why!?" You cried out as you went to your room to sit on your bed and eat what remained of your teacakes. You knew stress eating was a terrible habit of yours but it always made you feel better. Setting your latte on your nightstand you curled up on your bed wondering how your friends could've betrayed you like this, saying it was for the best? From your family it was understandable, it's why you cut them off- but your friends??

After hours of attempting to calm yourself down by watching shows, eating snacks, and taking catnaps, you were finally calm enough to fix yourself up to head back out to town. You figure after such a rough bout you should try to cheer yourself up, perhaps some retail therapy from that trinket shop you liked?

But the moment you opened the door, the overpowering scent of roses, lavender, and zinnias hit you. "Agh!" You exclaimed in shock. Stepping back from the strong smells, the backside of your hand covered your nose as you look in front of you to see a bouquet of flowers.

"So sorry!" You heard a rough voice come from behind the massive bouquet. "I hadn't thought you would be coming out at the moment. I was just about to knock actually..." Taking a few steps back with a cough or two to clear your senses, you looked up to see a tall red-haired fellow. From the setting sun behind them contrasting too much, your eyes couldn't see them too well, but you could very well assume they were male due to the deep tone of their voice and the incredible height.

"I'm sorry?" You said in a questioning tone. "I'm not expecting anyone, I think you got the wrong apartment." A nervous yet gentle smile graced your lips as you tried to kindly get the man to leave. "Is this the address for ____?" "Well, yes that's me" You answer, rather confused at this point. "May I come in please? I'd like to speak with you-" His voice was smooth and it made you want to melt but you also had no clue who this man was. He seemed like a fine gentleman and like a good character, so deciding to go with your gut, you stepped back into your apartment and help open the door.

He thanked you as he stepped through the door, his heavy black boots thudding on your wood floors. "Introductions first," He starts as he turns to you and places the massive bouquet in your small arms. "My name is Diluc and you my dear are now, well.... mine." He says as gently as possible.

Despite how gently he broached the topic, the way he phrased his words irked you. "'Yours'? And exactly what does that mean? Mr.Diluc?" He kneeled down to unbuckle his boots and take them off before standing tall before you once more and taking the flowers from your arms to place them on the nearby table. "Let's go sit and talk, shall we?" He asked, though the request sounded more like a demand.

With a quiet huff you walked to your small living area and dropped yourself onto an armchair. "Now start talkin'. What's all thus about me being 'yours'?" You began, tone laced with sass and a tinge of anger.

He let out what sounded to be a... nervous chuckle? Did you intimate him? Before you had the chance to think any further into his actions he cleared his throat. "Ahem, pardon my choice of words. I meant no offense. What I meant was that you are now my spouse." Your brain broke at the last word. Did you hear that right? "I beg your pardon? Spouse?" He nods. "We are now wed my dear."

Looking at him you felt both relief and fear. Reliefe because at least he looked good and seemed like a nice guy but utterly terrified because you had no clue who this man was. "O-okay... I'm married now." You say absolutely dumbfounded. "What am I supposed to do now?" You ask him as your previous anger simmered down into confusion and timidness. "Now we wade into these unknown waters together. I'll care for you and give you time to adjust of course but know that I'm still beside you with my arms wide open for you to fall into." He says softly as he finally sits down beside you and takes your hands in his. His hands engulfed yours entirely, making your tiny ones completely disappear between his long, thick digits.

Nervous as you were, you couldn't deny the facts.

1 This man was hot as hell, I mean- sexy as sin itself

2 If you decline this one another will be thrown your way

And 3 You don't have the money nor the heart to file for a divorce.

"F-fine..." You complied. "But we're taking things slow, got it? Like dating, hitting all the bases, the whole bit-" You state, putting your conditions on the table first moment you get. He nods. "Completely understandable, I will respect you and your conditions so long as you can mine." He counters. "And those would be?"

"You move in with me."

Not proofread, just had fun, like if you liked it and if I should continue or leave it be, love you babes and I'm going to bed, night! <3

arranged marriage but with a reader in their early thirties who thinks they’re not desirable and the man who they’re promised to also being in his thirties and glad to be marrying someone his age and is completely smitten with them