IVN CARVALHO Elite S5

IVÁN CARVALHO • Elite S5

˙ ˖ ✶ Marcus

In Kit's eyes there wasn't a single soul in New York that could ever compare to Marcus Thompson's beauty. All the lights within the grand scape of the city that never sleeps felt dim next to the utter radiance of this one man. The sincere kindness in his heart could spark a fire in the coldest abyss, and Kit Santos was truly amazed at his friend every single day. The wisdom and pain behind his eyes, the smile that could always make him forget he ever had a bad day to begin with, and an embrace that felt like home. These were just a few of his favorite things. He knew his friend wasn't the type to post thirst traps, he'd never engage in frat boy behavior of the sort, he wasn't wild and rambunctious, but ever so sweet like the slow trickle of honey on a hot summer day. "Not gonna lie, you could do that but you'd probably disappoint the person because their end goal would always be you, and I honestly can't blame them. You're a catch." Kit mused, rolling his eyes at his best friend's compliments before nudging him slightly. He knew there was pain and regret in both their pasts, but whenever Marcus was near Kit tried to stick to the positives, anything filled with joy to match the energy his friend brought to his life. "I did have a side gig for a little big ghost writing for women on onlyfans, so I could definitely get into the headline business if you'd think I'd be that good at it." he laughed, and he thought about how different his life turned out to be thanks to the people in his life. "Good, because they'd definitely love me and hey if anything I'm sure the variants of ourselves are happily married with their pack of pets in Copenhagen or somewhere that isn't the United States." Lately Kit had been thinking about what his next move in life would be and being an author in another part of the world sounded nice, but he'd miss life in the big city, and most of all he'd miss his friend, he'd miss Marcus. "Alright, I'm taking your last name then, unless my parents fight me and then we'll hyphenate."

This was the kind of hug he'd never wish to be freed from, the one where he could cry his little heart out without fear of judgment or reproach. Even with all of the pent up emotions of guilt and regret, he couldn't help his smile as Marcus spoke.  “I love you completely. And you loved me the same. That's all. The rest is confetti,” he replied, as he kissed Marcus' cheek. "But you're right, it's not fair, and I should know just how amazing of a friend you are by now, it's just always been this little thing with me to not be able to say everything I want to. Which is funny coming from a writer." he chuckled, even if the words sounded bitter sweet. "I've always tried to make sense of it, the why me, why not any one of them who had so much ahead of them and they were such good people and I'm just...me. But you're right, plus they'd hate that I was thinking this way at all, plus I got to meet you." As he leaned on Marcus' arm, letting his words sink in he thought about his friends, and how each of them would react to Marcus, and he couldn't help but laugh. They'd all love him, even if one in particular would be slightly jealous of him. "Thanks, and most people who've read my books have gotten to know them in a way, but I'll tell you that there was definitely one of them who would've been obsessed with you. She was so boy crazy which is why we got along so well. Such a lively girl, beautiful to the very end. Her name was Emily, and she wanted to be a model, and a thousand other things, she could never quite decide." he giggled. "If I actually start talking about them I don't think I'll ever stop."

Marcus let out a hearty laugh at this universe where he was posting thirst traps. He hardly posted pictures of himself as it was, most of his social media containing those special to him more than himself and the occasional picture of something he baked and was proud of. "I wouldn't even know what to do in that situation. I'd probably end up sending whoever DM'd me toward a single friend." It wasn't like he was completely hopeless when it came to navigating romantic interest. It had more to do with the fact that, regardless of how much time passed, his heart was still very much with his ex. A couple failed first dates a few months back only solidified that for him. "If you weren't a best selling author, I'd tell you, you should start writing headlines like that." Wasn't this what life was all about, laughing and simply enjoying the moment with people you cared about? It was to Marcus. His life was so rich with people who made being around them as easy as breathing. "Oh, don't worry, I didn't mean it like that. My family would be delighted with you. Whatever lecture I got would have nothing to do with you." He meant what he said. He couldn't think of many, if any, friends his family disliked. Maybe he was just a good judge of character. "Hey, I'm fine with whatever. I'm not really someone to get hung up on the little details." He played an active role in planning his own wedding, but he cared less about the details and more about getting to marry the person he was in love with.

Marcus was quiet as he held Kit in a warm hug. He wanted to be able to give the other the space to get what he needed to off his chest. When he was sure the other said what he wanted to say, he finally spoke up again, "First of all, you don't have to apologize for that. I saw this thing and it said something like 'don't hide yourself when you're in pain, it's unfair that we laughed together but you cried alone' and that's how I feel about this. Besides, no one can be happy all the time." Something his grandma would remind him of whenever he tried too hard to keep everything together for the sake of everyone else. "I don't know how the universe works," he started, his heart aching for his friend and the loss he suffered, "and I think it's unfair that you lost them. I'm glad you did get a second chance though, even if you can't understand why you got it." Kit was the type of person he believed you could somehow miss even if you never met him. "For what it's worth, I think you are. I know I didn't know them, but I bet if there's an afterlife and they can see how you're keeping they're memory alive, they'd be happy with it." He paused for a moment, "If you want, you could tell me more about them or we can go find something to do to take your mind off it. Whatever you need."

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MEME WEEKEND: 8/23-8/25

Starter Prompts: Boroughs Meeting Starters

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andré lamoglia

˙ ˖ ✶ Marcus

Kit had been showered with accolades after his first book was published, and even more so when it became a best-seller. Still, all the compliments, all that praise felt about as deep as a puddle on the New York city pavement. He could never truly tell who liked him for him, not for his money, his fame, or even his looks, just him. It was the same back when he was sick, all that pity and those empty I'm sorry, never truly meant anything as people back then thought of him as nothing more than a passing thought. Not when it came to Marcus as he'd realized there wasn't a more genuine soul in the city. Him, Cece, and the friends he's made along the way were the found family promised in all those queer happily ever afters. "You can't please everybody Marcus, but I'm sure the thirsty people of the world which is everyone who is chronically online even the naysayers will be obsessed with your ridiculous good looks. If not I'll just create fake accounts to call them names in your behalf." Kit giggled thinking of all the ridiculous names he could use for those same said accounts. They were both hung up on exes, except at least in the case of Marcus, he could always call her. Kit could never have that luxury. "You butter me up so much, I'm about to become one of your baked goods, Mr. Thompson." he mused, smiling up at his friend. "Though my writing prowess is mostly due to all the free time I had being able to read. I was such a drastically different person before I got sick. I was sorta the queen bee, not a tyrant or mean whatsoever, but people thought I was intimidating which is so bizarre." Blushing at his words, Kit didn't necessarily agree that he was easy to love, but he was glad someone like Marcus thought so, but ultimately it would make his love life harder for a very specific reason. "Then I'm definitely meeting them next time, and I have to say I'm slightly jealous of the us that's actually happy together and not as solemn as we are."

There was a type of dance that these two often engaged in, a kind that was quiet and passionate. Not a game of cat and mouse, but a beautiful waltz between friends as their passions and woes were expressed, and their feeling kept safe within one another. "You know..." Kit paused unsure of how to word what he was trying to say without making it sound weird. "Whatever guy I end up with I already feel so sorry for. Because no matter what he does, or who he is, I'll always end up comparing him to you, and how he'll never be able to beat you in how safe and happy you make me feel, Marcus." Kit finally said with a bit of a sigh following suit. "No other man has ever treated me as good as you do." Talking about Emily made him miss her even more a flood of happy images taking over his mind as all those good times crossed his view like a slideshow. "It was short looking back, but it was a great time, we were just reckless kids in love with the idea of living and love. Emily was probably the most spirited, Omari was our teddy bear, Jason was the leader, Isabella our feisty no bullshit taking queen, and I will probably never stop talking if I keep going." Kit giggled, thankful for whatever this was between him and his friend, this sad but beautiful tale of woes and friendship. "Again Marcus, future Mr. Kit is going to absolutely hate you because he will never be you."

While Marcus laughed at the comment and kept up his usual cheery demeanor, for a very brief moment, there was the smallest flicker of doubt in his eyes. He had a healthy amount of self-love and knew there were some pretty great qualities about him that other people loved, but perhaps there were a couple wounds that dug deeper than he acknowledged that opened the door to a tiny bit of doubt. The end of his last relationship hardly instilled confidence after all. "Hmm on second thought, maybe it's for the best that I don't do any of that then. I'd hate the idea of disappointing that many people and it'd be inevitable that some of them would get disappointed." The hypothetical still managed to make his stomach twist with guilt, reminding him a little of the few first dates he'd been on in recent times to try to move on. It was safe to say they didn't exactly go as well as he hoped they would and he couldn't help but feel bad about potentially disappointing those dates by clearly being hung up on an ex. He wished navigating the whole thing was easier than it was, but since it wasn't, he was content to distract himself by hanging out with his friends. "I think you absolutely could. Then again, with your writing talents, you could probably write whatever for whoever and be wildly successful at it." He made it a point to give as much as he took in all his relationships, which meant Kit would absolutely get showered with just as many compliments as he gave to Marcus. "Oh for sure, I mean, you're easy to love so they'd have no reason not to." They may have been joking around with hypotheticals, but he did genuinely think there were plenty of things that made his friend special and loved him for it. "There's definitely a universe where that's a reality."

Despite the heaviness of their conversation, he had his own little smile as well. There was something so beautiful and comforting about knowing that he had someone to confide in and vice versa and no matter what it was, there would always be care for each other. He couldn't ask for more from a friend and he was glad he was able to provide that for the other. He had this belief that life was so much harder to get through if you tried to do everything on your own and didn't have any kind of support, so he was always more the willing to help and listen where he could. He shrugged gently, "Maybe some things are just harder to put into words no matter how good you are with them?" He suggested. As open and expressive as he was, there were some things that he also struggled to fully explain the way he wanted to with words. He wanted to argue and say that Kit was just as great as anyone else, however, he held back and quietly listened. He wasn't sure there was anything he could say that would completely remedy the other's survivor's guilt. After a moment, he laughed softly as if recalling a memory himself as he pictured Kit and Emily talking about boys. "She sounds like she was a lot of fun to hang out with. I'm really sorry you lost her and your other friends." Whenever he wasn't sure what to say, he thought about what his grandma would say if she was in the room now. "I'm really glad you guys got to have each other in your lives though, even if it wasn't for as long as you would've wanted, and even if it's sort of painful now. I bet you all made a huge difference in each other's lives." He felt they were probably exactly who they all needed in that moment too. "Hey, you could talk forever and ever and I'd be all ears."