You See, I'm That Kind Of Disabled That You Cannot Identify Just By Looking On. Yes, I'm Phsycally Disabled,

You see, I'm that kind of disabled that you cannot identify just by looking on. Yes, I'm phsycally disabled, yes, I'm mentally disabled, but I write books and cook and live with my kid and pets and sometimes they even write about me in the newspaper or I'm in TV. Small country 15 minutes famous, but still. For a long time I felt bad for living out of goverement support mostly or asking my friends to drive me somewhere or - sometimes - needing help from local social worker. Because I was ashamed for not being able to do everything myself.

People like on the picture gave me totally new view ro myself. Shit, I'm terribly brave to live like this, all disabled and hurting and tired! Shit, I DESERVE help - because I'm human. So what that I don't make money - I'm human! I'm already worthy because of this! All the rest is just bonus.

(I bring a sort of “Everyone has inherent worth regardless of their productivity” Vibe to every conversation that ableists don’t really seem to like)

hi do y'all mind if i misuse this blog entirely for a second. idk why i'm asking i don't actually care they found a new snake it's a New Snake we didn't know about this snake before!!!!

I just want you all to know, that if and when this site does experience a real exodus and/or get sunsetted for good, even if we don't keep in touch I'll remember you so fondly. You're the online equivalent of the other kid on the beach where we built sandcastles together; the girl at the campsite where we explored the trees. You're the drunk person who shared kind words in the bathroom at the club, you're the talented artists at the life drawing class or the poetry night in a city where I don't live anymore. It makes me sad that maybe in the future our paths won't cross so easily, but even when we leave this little shared piece of cyberspace, carried away on our briefly intersecting trajectories, just know I still love you

Just ... Sanji. Perfect, because he is so imperfect and so vulrnebale and ... when I think about him, I touch myself.

baratie arc sanji is sooooo. he's such a snarling dog leashed to a post except that post is a lighthouse he swore his life to guarding. and then you find out he was the one who made his own leash. everything about him is so "give a wild thing food and it'll never leave". he was a wild thing zeff fed. gin was a wild thing sanji fed. some people love with their teeth bared. some people are just all teeth and therefore just all love. everything is a cage to him btw (he makes it so). the baratie is a cage. zeff's bond is a cage. his body is a cage. four walls and a ceiling over his head - like he learnt the dictionary definition of a home and misunderstood. he's always hungry. he'll make sure you never starve. the door to the cage is open and he's looking at it ravenously, pacing just behind the threshold, never eating and always starving

this is a poem

Long post inbound.

As a math tutor I often try to catch up with my student’s interests and hobbies. “What kind of things do you do?” I will ask. “Are there any ‘pet projects’ you’re passionate about right now?”

The answers are usually the same: most kids play online games with friends, do homework, play some sport maybe, or more commonly can’t really think of any particular hobby they have. Some have unique hobbies, like collecting car key fobs from eBay, or learning game development. But the majority of answers I get are generic in nature.

I don’t bring this up with the intent to criticize the lack of any of these creative endeavors in younger children. With the amount of responses I’ve received that fit the previous description, I am fully aware that either allistics just… don’t share their passions in casual conversation as much, or that it is my level of passion that is abnormal.

Regardless of which of the aforementioned causes is true, it got me thinking about the sheer number of projects I take on, and the amount of time I dedicate to them. And I came to the conclusion that this phenomenon may have to do with my ADHD.

When a kid with ADHD either forgets to do something or can’t muster the executive functioning to do it, they’re usually punished in some way. This punishment, if it doesn’t come from their parents or teachers or peers or societal expectations, will come from the anxiety and panic that results from suddenly remembering the thing that was supposed to be done three days ago, or perhaps from their frustration of knowing they didn’t do it without knowing why.

Over time, the brain learns these patterns, and associates being relaxed and idle with a nagging feeling of “I’m forgetting something”, or “I’m supposed to be doing something right now.” The brain does this as a defense mechanism, attempting to proactively prevent the kind of anxiety and punishment that has historically been the result of such idleness.

In other words, your brain learns that — when you’re being idle or “lazy” — it’s an indicator that some task has been forgotten.

The result of this learned pattern? An adult who will never have a “lazy day-off” of their own volition. Not when they’re sick, or injured, or sleep-deprived, or in great need of a break. Because the ADHD brain has learned the erroneous pattern that being relaxed means you’re forgetting something.

And when the camel’s back finally breaks, and the body forces you to take a day off, you never enjoy it fully. There’s always that nagging of “you could/should be doing something productive right now.”

It took me awhile to unlearn that pattern.It still comes back sometimes. It’s easy to know on a surface level that you don’t need to prove your productivity by denying your body the rest it needs; it’s harder to internalize and act upon that knowledge.

I want to know whether anyone else can relate to this; I think I may be onto something here.