More Than This - P.js 18+

more than this - p.js 18+

18 - I'll give you the world

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(warnings: may starts to get rlly awful here, it's now going to get pretty bad in may and jay's relationship so just be aware she is going to be saying some not so kind things!)

more than this - p.js 18+

21 - more than ok

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Jay was late.

Like really late. You’d agreed that morning to meet at your house since May was away for a few days. You were finishing work at five, and Jay would come over for six so that you two could hang out and maybe order some food. And now it was seven and you hadn’t seen or heard from him. It didn’t help that the rain outside was getting heavier by the moment and you worried for the boy who might be out in it.

Usually you’d be fine with this, you’d just assume that they had got busy and would reply with an explanation when they could. But Jay was different, you were worried for him in case something had happened on his way to yours. You wanted to take care of him, and that meant that you worried for him more than usual. So you sat there, phone in hand as you stared at the unread texts you sent him.

It was at that point, when you were about to call Sunoo in a panic, that a quick knock sounded on your door. Your stomach leaped, rushing to open it and seeing Jay standing there dripping rain water onto your front door step. He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off by tugging him forward and wrapping your arms around him. His clothes were soaked with rainwater but you didn’t care much, holding him tight against you as he stood shivering.

After a second or two he relaxed, wrapping his own arms around you and revelling in the warmth you were emitting onto him. He sighed, resting his chin on the top of your head for a moment before pulling away to look down at you. There was a frown on your lips which made him sad, Jay hated seeing you upset.

“What the fuck Jay,” you whined, pushing him back a little. “Where have you been? I was so worried.”

“You were worried?” He cracked a small smile, resting his hands on your hips.

You nodded, fighting not to smile back with him, “of course I was! You didn’t text to say you’d be late, I thought something had happened to you.”

“I’m sorry Y/N,” he squeezed your hips gently before letting go. You stepped aside to let him in, taking his soaked coat off of him. “I was about to leave but May video called me, then she was on the phone with me for ages I couldn’t get off call even though I saw your texts. And so by the time she hung up I was already late, and of course my bus was super slow too and my phone ran out of battery before I could text you back.”

You sighed, hanging his coat up and leading him to your living room, “you’re really unlucky aren’t you? What did May want to talk about?”

You rushed around, grabbing an old oversized pair of sweatpants for Jay to change into since his jeans were wet. His shirt was dry so at least he could keep that on, you didn’t know if any of your shirts would fit him anyway.

“Hold on, let me change then I’ll tell you everything,” he said with a small sigh, taking the clothes with a thankful smile.

“My bathroom is the last door at the end, I’ll make us some tea whilst you change,” you leant up, brushing some of his wet hair off his forehead gently. Jay nodded, rushing off to change whilst you prepared two warm cups of tea, settling on the sofa waiting for him with your legs tucked up underneath you. You’d made sure to plug his phone in for him so that it wouldn’t be dead when he eventually had to leave.

“Thanks Y/N,” he said, slumping down next to you. Considering it was the first time you two had been together inside one of your homes, you felt comfortable already. It didn’t feel awkward like you thought it might.

“So what happened?” You asked softly, wrapping your hands around your mug.

Jay turned to you, a pout on his lips, “so I was just about to leave when May called, and she literally never video calls so I thought it was something super important. But she started talking to me about all the chores I needed to do at home, and then she wanted to talk to me about that new medication.”

Jay stopped, biting his bottom lip and worrying the skin there. You raised an eyebrow, “the medication? She made you take it didn’t she?”

“How could you tell?” He sighed, leaning his head against the back of the couch, “I’m sorry, I was trying to hang up but she said if I didn’t take the medication on the call then she would come back to make sure I did.”

“She’s fucking insane,” you swore, shaking your head. You wanted to be angry, you were angry, but looking at Jay and seeing how remorseful he looked made your anger subside. You weren’t mad at him, there was no reason for him to feel upset.

“I’m sorry, I know you said not to take it,” he said, fiddling with his fingers and avoiding your eyes. You put your mug down, placing one hand on his knee to bring his attention to you. His ears twitched gently, the rain water finally drying and fluffing up the fur there.

“Don’t apologise Jay, it’s not your fault,” your hand yearned to raise up and ruffle his hair and stroke his ears but you held back. “I’m just mad at her, she knows what she’s doing is wrong but she’s still doing this to you. I hate her so much Jay, and I hate that you have to go home to her every day.”

You went against your better judgement, leaning up and running a hand through his still damp hair before brushing your fingers against one of his ears. Jay closed his eyes at the feeling, leaning into your touch with a small smile against his lips.

“I hate it too,” he admitted, fully leaning the weight of his head on your hand now. “I wish it was you that I was coming home to.”

You froze. Jay had said similar things when he was in his heat, talking about the two of you in a way that was reserved for couples, but hearing him say it now was a whole different story. He was completely sane now, there was no excuse for him to be talking like that unless he actually meant it.

“Jay,” you mumbled, looking up at him and folding your hands into your lap. He looked down at you, his ears slightly pointing downwards since you’d stopped petting him, “you can’t say stuff like that.”

“Why not?” He asked genuinely, eyes wide, “it’s the truth, am I not allowed to say the truth?”

“You are,” you sighed, not being able to look away from his gaze. “But we only just met Jay, you need to be logical.”

Jay just pouted, he didn’t understand why you were rejecting him now. He knew you liked him, he could tell by how much you cared for him already, so why was it so hard for you to accept when he talked like this?

“I am being logical, I’m just speaking my mind,” he leant his head back on the couch. “You make me feel safe, and happy, which is everything to me. I’ve never felt this comfortable around anyone, just being near you makes me calm down no matter the situation.”

You didn’t break eye contact, just watching as he talked. Jay was like an open book to you, you could probably tell what he was thinking just with one glance. And right now was one of those times, he was definitely telling the truth, you couldn’t detect a hint of lying in his voice or demeanour.

“You mean that?” You asked, reaching over and taking one of his hands in yours. Jay followed the movement, smiling gently when he felt your hands enveloping his.

“Yeah, one hundred percent,” he tugged on your hands to bring you closer before wrapping his arms around you. For the second time that night you were engulfed in Jay, his cologne filling your senses as he held you close to him. Your head fit snugly into his neck, your own arms circling his waist to keep him close.

“Is this ok?” He asked, running one hand up and down your back.

“More than ok,” you replied. It felt right, being with Jay felt right. And for those few moments you could forget about everything else. You forgot about May and everything that came along with that, Jay made you forget all of it.

The rest of the evening went by in a blurry haze, your mind was too preoccupied thinking about how softly Jay held you in his arms and how his heart was beating so quickly in his chest the more you cuddled up against him. You ate together, lounging on the couch until it was way past midnight. You both had work the next day but it didn’t bother you, you would take being tired any day if it meant staying up and listening to Jay ramble on for hours.

That night you fell asleep on the couch, Jay’s arm around your shoulder and his head resting on top of yours. Some old rerun of an American tv show was playing in the background whilst the two of you slept, the uncomfortable position only bearable because it was Jay who you were leaning on.

Jay woke up first, his body clock naturally telling him it was morning. He untangled himself from you, letting you slump against the couch fully so that he could check his phone. He thought about waking you up before he left, but you looked so peaceful that he wanted to leave you a little longer.

He scrambled around for a pen and paper, writing a short note and leaving it on the coffee table for you when you finally woke up. He would text you anyway, but he didn’t want you to worry when you woke up and saw he was gone.

Jay took his now dry coat, sliding it on before leaning back down towards you. He brushed some hair from your forehead, he thought you looked pretty like this, even if your makeup from the previous day was smudged along your cheeks and your eyebrows were pulled together into a frown. Jay would probably think you looked pretty no matter the circumstance.

Before he could back out, he leant over to kiss your forehead gently, lingering for a few seconds to revel in how warm it made him feel. His heart almost fluttered, Jay didn’t think he had ever felt like that about anyone in his life. Never once had he felt those butterflies kissing May, but kissing you gave him a feeling he couldn’t even describe.

He left your house quickly before he felt tempted to cuddle back up on the couch with you, closing the door softly.

What Jay hadn’t realised was that you’d been awake the whole time, drifting somewhere between sleep and full consciousness. You had to hold yourself from smiling as you felt him kiss your head, doing your best to feign sleep in order to not embarrass him by waking up. But as soon as your door closed you sat up, a blush spreading across your cheeks that you didn’t know how to stop. Jay was slowly melting your cold exterior, and although it would be the messiest situation you could possibly be in, you would do anything to have him now.

spots on!

EIGHTEEN / strawberries and honey

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warnings: none afaik ??

word count: 1.9k

CHOI YEONJUN HAS KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS. He’s known you since you were a sophomore in high school, when Beomgyu introduced the two of you to one another. He’s known you since you were just a shy, well-dressed flute player in the high school’s band who didn’t like him very much. He’s known you for a lot longer than he realized. 

Back then, Yeonjun didn’t blame you for not liking him. After all, the only thing you really knew about him was that he was the son of the CEO of one of the biggest fashion companies, and he had become used to the assumptions that came with that. “Spoiled”, “pretentious”, “out of touch”, he’d heard it all before, and it was no surprise that you thought the same thing. On top of him not blaming you, he also didn’t care what you thought about him. You were just Beomgyu’s friend, someone he wasn’t going to be seeing a lot, so what did it matter?

But, he did start to see you a lot. Every time Beomgyu planned something, whether it be a birthday party, or a trip to the local fair, you would be there, and so would he. The more he found himself around you, the more and more Yeonjun started to enjoy being around you, and the more he wanted to make you realize he wasn’t some spoiled asshole like everyone thought he was. Then, eventually, he noticed you start to warm up to him, and hate him less and less. 

But, then you started to pull away from him again. Your senior year, you and Beomgyu had one last band performance before you graduated and left the group behind forever. Naturally, Yeonjun, Soobin, Kai and Taehyun all decided to go and support Beomgyu, but also to support you as well. And, to show his full support, and secure you as a friend once and for all, Yeonjun bought you flowers. 

Apparently, that had been a mistake. As the second he gifted you the bouquet, you locked up, and became just as shy as you were when the two of you first met. It was like years of progress had gone down the drain, and he was right back where he started. He couldn’t ever figure out what he had done to make you return to disliking him. Had the flowers been too extravagant, and came off as him flaunting his wealth? Had the gesture made you uncomfortable, and he miscalculated how close you two were? Whatever it was, a part of him wished he had never given you those flowers. 

But why? Why was it so important to him that you liked him? Ever since he’d first told his friends he was determined to get you to like him—or Chat Noir—and they’d brought up the question, it had played through his head over and over again. And now, as he sits on the railing outside your apartment window, watching you pace around your living room, it’s especially troubling him. 

You looked stressed out, just like Beomgyu had told him earlier. You were pacing back and forth, nibbling on one of the KitKats he had left for you, with a measuring tape hung around your neck. Suddenly he felt bad. He really hoped he wasn’t adding to your stress, and making things worse for you. He was at least glad to see that you were enjoying the KitKats, though, judging by the pile of wrappers next to your couch.

He leaned forward and tapped his knuckles against the glass, finally capturing your attention. You jumped at the noise, dropping the candy onto the floor, and he couldn’t help but giggle at the shocked expression on your face. The word cute crossed his mind. 

“Hi, Y/N.” He greeted you once you’d opened your sliding door to let him in, a playful smile creeping onto his lips. “Enjoying the KitKats I see?” He hopped down and followed you into your little apartment. He found himself scanning the space, taking it all in, since he didn’t imagine he would be back here anytime soon. 

“No, not really.” You replied, bending down to pick up the small pile of wrappers. He put his hands on his hips and watched as you carried the wrappers to the trash to toss them in. When he was around you as Yeonjun, you were never this nonchalant. If he’d been standing in your living room, he imagined you wouldn’t speak to him, probably go stand in a corner and avoid him the entire time. Maybe you didn’t dislike Chat Noir as much as he thought you did. 

He cleared his throat. “So…”

“So…” You echoed, making your way back over to him. “We can just do some measurements now. And then, you can tell me your ideas, then you leave and I get to work.” 

“Or, I can stay and we can talk about our places in the universe together.” He suggested, picking up an old candle that was sitting on your side table and giving it a whiff. 

You rolled your eyes, and for a brief moment, he finds the action familiar. “As delightful as that sounds, I have stuff to do.” You gave him a tight lipped smile, then took the candle from his hands and set it down. 

“That smells really good, what is that?” He asked you. 

You lifted his arm, and slid the tape off your neck. “Champagne, or something, I’m not sure. My best friend gave it to me for my birthday.” You answered with a shrug. 

He nodded, then continued to glance around your apartment while you started to measure him. Then, his eyes landed on a picture on top of your entertainment center. It was from the night of your band recital, a picture of you, Beomgyu, Heeseung, Sieun, Jeongin, Soobin and himself. You were standing in the middle, holding onto the bouquet for dear life. He couldn’t believe how young you looked, even though it was only a few years ago. 

An idea popped into his head. 

“Is that you and Choi Yeonjun?” He asked, and you froze. 

“What?” You spoke slowly, then turned your head to follow his gaze over to the picture. “Oh. Yeah, it is.” He watched as your cheeks reddened, and you turned your focus back to your measurements.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other. He’s a good friend of mine.” 

“He is?” You snapped your head up to look at him, furrowing your eyebrows together. 

“Oh, yeah, for sure. He doesn’t talk about me?” 

You glanced away again. “Oh, I wouldn’t know. We don’t talk very much…”

He frowned. It was true, the two of you didn’t talk very much, but it still hurt a bit to hear it. “Really? Why not? I know he can be a bit annoying, but—“

“He’s not annoying.” You quickly cut him off, and he raised his eyebrows at that. “It’s just… I don’t know. It’s complicated.” You mumbled, and he watched you curiously as you turned away to scribble some numbers down. 

Complicated. What about him was so complicated for you? 

“Let’s talk about something else, hm? Like… What are you thinking about for the new suit?” You queried, and he noticed the redness in your cheeks slowly fading. He wanted to know more, to press you further for your thoughts on him, but it was clear you didn’t want to discuss it, and making you uncomfortable was the last thing he wanted. 

“You ever seen a fursuit?” He joked, and you slowly looked up to give him a deadpan look. “I’m kidding. Honestly, Y/N, I am giving you full creativity. I want you to do whatever you think will look best, I trust your decisions.” He told you with a smile. 

You frowned. “Are you sure? There’s nothing in particular you want?” 

“Well… My only request is that you make it super sexy.” He told you with a wink, and you once again rolled your eyes. “I’m kidding! …Kinda.”

“You are so annoying…” You muttered, returning to your notebook to write something down. “Okay, can you lift both your arms for me?” 

He obeyed, and raised both of his arms so he was standing in a T-pose. You stretched out your measuring tape and leaned forward to wrap it around his back. As you did so, your face came dangerously close to his own, and for whatever reason, he felt his breath hitch in the back of his throat. His face began to warm as you took a step back, wrapping the measuring tape around his chest and gently brushing your fingers against his muscle. He was sure you could feel his heart slamming against his rib cage. 

Had you always been this pretty up close? Had you always looked so cute when you were focused, with your eyes squinted, and your tongue poked against the side of your cheek? Had you always smelled this good, like fresh strawberries and honey? 

Suddenly, Yeonjun was in full on panic mode. Was this why it was so important to him that you liked him? No, he was probably just upset after Ladybug had completely rejected him, and just mind was desperate to find somebody else to cling to. There was no way that he had unknowingly been harboring feelings for you all this time, right? You, Choi Beomgyu’s shy friend, who played the flute in  high school band. It was impossible. 

And yet, here he was, staring down at you with wide eyes, secretly hoping you would stay right there just a little bit longer. Here he was, eyes drifting down to your lips, and becoming well aware of the close proximity between you too. If he just bent down, just a little bit, if he just—

You must have been able to sense his sudden change in demeanor, as your eyes flickered up to meet his own. “Um, you okay?” You asked, blinking up at him. 

No, absolutely not, he thought. 

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine.” He stuttered out, giving you a forced smile. You eyed him suspiciously, but didn’t say anything, instead returning your focus to your measurement. And then you released the tape, and took a step back, and he felt a wave of relief wash over him. “Um, is that the last one you needed?” 

“No, I need one more, why—?”

“I just remembered I have important Chat Noir duties to do! Ladybug actually asked me to do something, and I totally forgot about it! Stupid cat, right?” He laughed, stepping away from you and walking towards the window. 

“Ladybug asked you?”

“Yes, Ladybug! She’s always asking me to do stuff! Honestly, a bit of a nag if you ask me. Haha.” He slid open your sliding door and poked his head out, relieved by the feeling of the cool air against his hot face. He couldn’t stay there any longer, not in your tiny little apartment where there was nowhere to run. The longer he was in proximity with you, the more insane he was going to go, he thought. There was no way he was going to stick around, and let the subconscious need for a rebound (that was surely the cause of his sudden attraction for you) be taken out on you. 

“Wait, it’s seriously just one more, can’t you just let me do it?” He was too afraid to look back at you, but he could practically feel the confusion radiating off of you. 

“Sorry, no time! We’ll do it later!” He told you, then leapt off of your balcony. 

No, there was absolutely, positively, no way Choi Yeonjun had feelings for you. 

authors note: yeonjun chat noir wants to kiss y/n but that doesn’t mean he likes her. this is sooo silly.

tag list: (closed) @therealhyunjingf @jakeshands @impureperhaps @mazeinthemoon @tyunlatte @loveliii @exohclipse @17szn @txtbrainrot @bubblytaetae @serafilms @luvlyjay @iirene304 @snowfalltxt @choistick @lost-leopard-beanie @taekwondoes @captivq @aestheticsluut @surshica @suburbiataehyung @cecedrake2217 @omiomipepperoni @ttyunz @stellz581 @tyunsion @cher-bears @hochipochi @eggomi @rikismiel @vianna99 @certainyouthpeanut @cookiehaos @90sni-ki @http-gyu @iad0ru @viagumi @reverbtunes @fatoompie @ka143 @sserafimez @cathaerin @ahnneyong @cutiespaghetti @wonioml @emohazuzworld @taylvvrr @cowsmicwu

the dating experiment - hwang hyunjin x author!gn!reader

˗ˏˋ pairing: hwang hyunjin x author!gn!reader

˗ˏˋ description: as a writer, a writer's block was nothing out of the ordinary for you. as a professional author, they determined your entire career. you had exactly two months left to finish your newest romance novel, but you were entirely out of luck. it was hard to write about someone's love life when your own was non-existent. when you told your friend hyunjin about your misery, however, he offered to take you out on dates. four experimental dates as friends, to show you how butterfly-increasing dating can and should be. it was his way of helping you out, but little did he know that he would influence your writing way more than either of you expected.

or: how could fake-dating your crush possibly go wrong?

˗ˏˋword count: 12,1k

˗ˏˋ tags: fake dating!au, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, happy ending (i hope), slightly suggestive at best, kissing, food mention, swearing, misunderstanding, murder thread (not real, we're only fed up), best friend!felix, i literally loved this idea so much, i'm so sorry if i crash you tumblr app, maknae line cameo, minho is part of the squad but not in the story

˗ˏˋ taglist: if you want to be (un)added, send me an ask please !!

a/n: inspired by: the roommate experiment by elena armas. please give this fic lots of love, it took me forever to finish it + it's my longest fic so far, but it's finally done !! :") happy reading !! <3

don't repost. don't translate. minors and ageless blogs dni!

the dating experiment (hwang hyunjin)

The cafe you were sitting at was the one Felix had recommended a while ago. It just opened a mere few days back, but it had been the talk of your city for weeks. He had wanted to meet you here today during his own lunch break, to keep you company while you were working on your novel. It had been a while since the both of you had seen each other and you were desperate for his company. Besides Felix, you did not have a lot of human interaction these days, so Felix forcing you to meet him for lunch was more than welcome.

With your laptop open in front of you, you just sipped on your drink and waited for your best friend to walk through the door. You had your document open with no words in sight and kept waiting for the inspiration to hit you. Truth to be told, you had absolutely no inspiration for your new novel whatsoever, but your publisher demanded a new one in two months time. You had exactly a few weeks and a few spare days to write out the book you were rarely ever thinking about. 

Sighing, you leaned back and kept staring at your empty document. How were you supposed to write a novel about two people falling in love if you did not have any romance in your life? Was your new writing career really worth the stress it caused you? Was it really worth quitting your real human job for… this?

“Y/N! Hey!” 

You perked up at the voice. It was Felix. He walked through the door of the cafe with someone else behind him. He had his hand up in a greeting and smiled widely. The guy behind him did the same and you recognised him as Hyunjin, one of Felix coworkers who you saw a few times before.

“Hey,” you greeted the both of them and pulled your laptop closer to your chest, “How have you been?”

“Good, good,” Felix answered and took his coat off before he sat down in the stall in front of you. 

“Hyunjin just started his break, too. You don’t mind him joining us, do you?” He added and picked the menu up. Hyunjin slowly took his own jacket off and smiled at you bashfully.

“Of course not,” you immediately said and gestured for him to sit down. Hyunjin did and greeted you in the process.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?” He asked and put both of his hands on the table. 

You hummed, “I’ve been fine. Just trying to work on this novel and I can’t get it anywhere.”

“Still?” Felix asked and handed the menu to Hyunjin beside him, “I thought you were actually getting some work done.”

Dejectedly, you slipped down the booth a little and pouted, “No. I have some ideas of what I want to do, but the inspiration isn’t there. This is a romance book and the most love I feel these days is when I see the delivery guy.”

Felix snorted, “Maybe that’s what real love is.”

“Is it?” Hyunjin huffed and put the menu down, “I think love is just. Good. It’s supposed to make you feel good; it’s supposed to be with a person who feels good about you, too. I doubt the delivery guy has any happy feelings for you. It’s probably the money they’re excited about.”

Felix gave Hyunjin a side eye. 

“If I had known that you feel so strongly about being in love, I wouldn’t have invited you. We’re here to be miserable today, not whatever this is.”

Hyunjin’s ears turned slightly red. Bashfully, he looked down at his hands.

“Sorry,” he started but you interrupted him.

“Don’t be. I wish I had some of your energy when it comes to this. I’m so hopeless, it’s insane.”

The three of you sat together in silence for a few moments. Then, Felix spoke up.

“I mean, if you need inspiration, you can always go on dates?”

“What happened to being miserable?,” you answered cheekily, “Or is this your way of driving me into my own misery? Because I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing you ever get out of dating apps.”

Felix rolled his eyes and Hyunjin giggled.

“Ha ha, so funny,” Felix said humourlessly, “Just date for fun! Date for inspiration.”

“You’re disgusting.”

Felix put his hands up in defence, “I’m just saying. If you want to find inspiration for a romance novel, date. You won’t find any good inspo if you just sit at home all day watching your romcoms.”

“You love my rom coms,” you bickered back and Hyunjin beside Felix giggled again.

“And besides, if I had a romcom guy in my life, I wouldn’t be so miserable.”

“Then look for one!” Felix argued back, more serious this time. You knew what his real stance on love was and you knew that he was only looking out for you, but unlike him, you were not quite as hopeful.

“You can let the other person know what you’re looking for,” Hyunjin chimed in. You frowned.

“Wouldn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of dating? If there are no real feelings involved, though?”

Felix turned his head around to look at Hyunjin, “This is actually a great idea.”

“Pardon?”

“Yes,” Felix clapped enthusiastically, “We’ll just find someone for you to fake-date. Show you how nice dating can be without any strings attached.”

“Wonderful,” you answered drily, “but who in their right mind would agree to do that?”

“I would.” 

Hyunjin seemed to be surprised by his own offer, based on the way his eyes widened a little, but he quickly caught himself, “I mean, we could just meet up as friends and I take you out on fake dates. What’s the harm in that? We know each other, after all.”

His ears turned a light shade of red and you stared at him.

“Hm,” Felix hummed from beside Hyunjin and the latter jerked slightly, as if he had forgotten that Felix was there with you, “That’s actually not a bad idea.”

“It isn’t?” Hyunjin and you said at the same time, “What?”

Felix shook his head, “No. The both of you are the same amount of, how do I put it.”

He snapped his fingers and pointed them at you.

“You are insane. In a bad way. And Hyunjin,” he pointed the same finger at his friend beside him now, “Is insane in a good way. I think it would work. I mean you guys are friends, right?”

Right. Semi-friends, to be exact. You had seen Hyunjin enough times to consider him a friend and also enough times to harbour a little crush on him at the same time. You never told Felix and frankly, you never admitted it to yourself, either. But now that you had the chance to date your non-crush, you were a bit taken aback. 

“I’m not sure,” you started and looked at Hyunjin. His ego seemed to take a little hit and he pressed his lips together tightly, “But maybe?”

You breathed out and eyed both guys in front of you. 

“What do you want in return?” You asked eventually and Hyunjin perked up at the question. 

“Your undying love and devotion,” he joked, but lost the smile on his face when Felix stared at him in disgust, “I mean. I have an art exhibition coming up in a few weeks. It’s nothing big, just some paintings for the company to advertise their creativity department. I just need a few more models for that and I wouldn’t mind painting someone who isn’t Jisung for a change.”

You licked your lips and glared at him jokingly, “Do I have to be naked?”

“NO!” Hyunjin called out and his cheeks turned a light pink, “Absolutely not. You get to keep your clothes on. I’ll put you into the different positions I need you in.”

“Bro, that’s my best friend!” Felix joked right along with you and Hyunjin’s face turned a deeper shade of red.

“That’s not how I mean it. I promise I’m not attracted to you in this way. This is only gonna be a friend thing. If you agree, that is.”

Ouch. That definitely hurt. You pressed your lips together and nodded.

“Sure. I don’t see how this can go wrong.”

If only you knew.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

You guys changed the topic after that, since there was nothing left to discuss anymore. Actually, you were absolutely sure that Hyunjin had forgotten about it already and would not go through with it. He was just trying to help you find a solution for your problem, most likely.

The three of you ended up talking about everything that came to your mind. And soon enough, it was Felix’ cue to go.

“My break’s over, I’m afraid,” he sighed and got up. Hyunjin did too and allowed him to leave the booth as he watched Felix put his coat back on.

Felix looked at you, “we really need to do this again.”

 “We will.” You saluted jokingly and smiled at him.

Felix patted Hyunjin’s back and sighed again.

“I’ll go over and pay for our food.”

“Our food?” You interrupted him and got up, “Don’t you dare.”

“What are you gonna do? Fight me?” Felix let out a playful evil laugh and let a waiter nearby know that he was ready to pay. You huffed and got up too, and Hyunjin did the same.

“I will,” you said and walked up to him. Hyunjin followed you, but unfortunately, Felix was faster. He swiftly handed the waiter his card and waited for the money to go through.

You sighed defeatedly, “Thank you.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Hyunjin added and shook his head, “You’re a menace to society.”

Felix huffed, “Whatever. I really have to go now. See you.”

He pulled you into a tight hug, Hyunjin too, and left the cafe. Hyunjin and you just looked at each other and went back to your spot.

“He’s unbelievable,” you mumbled and got your phone out. You sent Felix all of the money that he just had paid back, including his and Hyunjin’s order, and just blocked him from sending it back to you.

Hyunjin noticed what you were doing and snorted, “I was about to do the same.”

He put his phone up and showed you the open app with the exact same amount of money already typed in. You giggled and Hyunjin put his phone back down.

“Can I buy you another coffee at least? I feel bad now.”

You shook your head, “Absolutely not.”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes while he was smiling, letting you know that he was not actually annoyed.

“Is this how you should treat your fake boyfriend?”

Your eyes went wide.

“Fake boyfriend?”

Hyunjin shifted on his seat uncomfortably.

“Oh, were you joking earlier?”

You looked at him and shook your head, “No. I just. I didn’t think that you wanted to do this.”

Hyunjin looked right back at you and smiled.

“I do. I guess we just need to figure out how to do this.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“You know, for dates, there are usually different stages of feelings involved,” Hyunjin started and put his coffee spoon between his lips. Quickly, he licked it clean and used it as a pointer to highlight his main points.

“The first one should be all about attraction. It’s the first date! You still need to figure out if you’re actually attracted to the person you’re meeting up with.”

You nodded, “That makes sense, but how do you want to fake that feeling?”

Hyunjin shook his head and waved his spoon in his hand, “Let that be my problem. It’s not about the feeling, but about the experience. You said you needed inspiration, right? I’ll just take you out on a first date and you can write about it and just add what you think your characters would feel right in that moment.”

Right, because their feelings would be soo much different from what you felt towards Hyunjin. You nodded, “Okay. And then?”

“The second meeting,” Hyunjin pointed his spoon at your face, “Is about curiosity. You need to see if that interest, that spark, is still there. You share some more aspects of yourself, some stuff a possible partner should know. Like, I don’t know about some weird fetish you have.”

You raised your eyebrows, “I don’t think that I want to discuss my sex life with you.”

Hyunjin’s ears turned red once again and he only waved his spoon at your face, “You don’t need to discuss it with me. You just need to feel comfortable and share anything, if you feel like it. Maybe think about what that would be for the people you write about.”

Right, because this was not real. You would only go on fake dates with your fake boyfriend. 

“And how many dates do we go on?” You asked eventually and Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows in deep thought.

“How about four? We can add a third one for the start of the relationship. I will ask you out, and it won’t be real, of course,” Of course ,”and we will just do all of that couple-y stuff.”

Hyunjin waved his spoon around even more and it made you snicker.

“And on our fourth date, we’ll just fake a proposal for free dessert,” he whispered suddenly and it made you laugh.

“That sounds like a plan.”

A plan that would definitely not backfire. 

˖⁺‧₊˚ Phase One: Attraction ˚₊‧⁺˖

After your initial meeting, Hyunjin did not call you for a few days. You gave him your number before you left, since he was adamant on planning the dates himself. Claiming that you would not be able to understand the appeal of dating if you planned them yourself, he took it upon himself to do it for you. At least that is what you assumed for the day after. When Hyunjin did not even give you a quick update after a few days, you started to become worried.

Maybe Hyunjin changed his mind, you thought and put your phone down. He did seem enthusiastic about the idea of showing someone how great love can be but you would not blame him if that was not the case with you. After all, you guys were barely even friends and you were sure that someone like him would have people lined up in front of him for the real thing. People who actually wanted to go on dates and did not only do it for work. It was pathetic in a way and Hyunjin probably thought the same now.

Just when you were lost in your thoughts, your phone pinged you of a new notification. It was a message from Hyunjin, funnily enough, asking you to come outside.

“Now?” You texted back and walked towards your window. There was a car outside that you had never seen before and you were guessing that it might be him.

Your screen lit up again and it was an incoming call.

“Hi?” You greeted him and Hyunjin hummed.

“Hello darling,” he answered cheekily and it made your heart jump in your chest, “I’m here to pick you up.”

“Pick me up?” You ignored the way your heart reacted to his voice, “Like, right now?”

“Duh,” Hyunjin said and you saw him get out of his car. He was wearing some casual clothes, a white t-shirt and some loose black jeans, but he made them look so effortlessly attractive. His bright brown hair was brushed back and blended down to his neck, right where the strap of his camera was. Hyunjin was beautiful and you tried your best to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. He was here to see you as a friend, you told yourself, shaking your head slightly. Hyunjin only wanted to help you. 

“Let me get ready first,” you answered instead and he chuckled, “Don’t dress up too much, okay? It’s only me.”

Sighing, you put your phone down and went to your bedroom to change. When you were done, you put on your shoes, got your necessities, and left your home. Hyunjin leaned against his car and smiled when he saw you.

“Hi,” he greeted you again and took a step towards you. 

“Hi,” you said back and smiled at him.

“I got something for you.” Hyunjin pulled his arm from behind his back and you gasped. He brought you your favourite flowers. Blushing, you took them into your hands.

“Thank you,” you mumbled into the petals and Hyunjin smiled brightly.

“I hope you like them.”

“Love them,” you confirmed, “They’re my favourites.”

Hyunjin beamed at your words and grinned, biting his lips in the process.

“I hope they’ll survive today because you’re gonna be out late.”

You snorted, “On the first date?”

“It can’t be a good first date if you want to leave right away, can it?” Hyunjin’s ears turned a pinkish colour. Cute. He seemed to have this habit when he was nervous and it was absolutely endearing to you.

Carefully, he took a step to the side and opened his passenger door for you.

“After you, darling,” he said and bowed slightly. You giggled.

“Thank you so much.” 

You got into the car and reached for your seatbelt. Before you got to it, Hyunjin already had it in his hands. He leaned towards you inside the car and held his head in front of yours. Hyunjin looked at you while he secured your seatbelt and you felt your heart beat rapidly in your chest again. 

“You’re okay?” He asked with a sweet smile and you nodded slightly, your eyes never leaving his. Hyunjin pulled on your seatbelt one last time to make sure that it was secure and leaned back, leaving you completely flustered. 

“Isn’t it a bit dangerous to get into a stranger’s car on my first date?” you asked him when he started the car. Hyunjin laughed.

“You know me, that’s different.”

You looked out of the window, “Yeah, we’re friends, but isn’t this supposed to mimic a real date?”

Hyunjin sighed quietly, “We are. Do you not trust me, baby?”

Just like before, you felt the butterflies in your stomach twist and turn at the pet name directed to you. 

“I do.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

After a few minutes of silence, the both of you arrived at your date destination. Hyunjin parked his car near a beautiful park and stopped the engine. Swiftly, he got out and opened the door for you. 

“Do I have to unbuckle my seatbelt alone this time?” You joked and Hyunjin leaned towards you with a smirk, a slight blush evident on his cheeks.

“Do you want me to help?”

You left his question unanswered, although a small blush made its way onto your cheeks as well. Hastily, you unbuckled your own seatbelt and got out of the car.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin opened the back door behind yours and took a basket from the backseat. 

“Are we going on a walk?” You asked and turned around to look at him. Hyunjin smiled lopsidedly and showed you the basket in his hands.

“Almost.”

He walked a few steps towards the general park area and you followed him.

“So, let’s break characters for a second here,” Hyunjin started, “What do you expect from today?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know. Some pretend-butterflies, maybe. Just a bit of crush evolving fun?”

Hyunjin gently allowed his hand to brush against the back of yours while you were walking. In response, you gasped quietly and turned your head around.

Hyunjin smirked, “Like that?”

You blushed slightly and mumbled something about him being unfair. It made him laugh.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he giggled and put his hand in front of his mouth. You missed his touch already.

“But be prepared, because I will hold your hand today, if that’s what you’re looking for. Just let me know when it’s too much and I’ll stop.”

You would hold him to his word.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Eventually, the both of you arrived at the spot Hyunjin had picked out for you. It was beautiful and a bit more isolated from the general crowd. The place was right between a few trees whose leaves were a bright green. There was a blanket on the ground with some decorations on it, including some more flowers like the ones Hyunjin had gifted to you just earlier. In front of it was a lake and the sunlight shimmered on the surface beautifully. It was a gorgeous spot and you were wondering how he managed to pull this all off by himself.

“This is beautiful”, you whispered in awe. Hyunjin only smiled and put his hand on your lower back to push you slightly forwards.

“Thank you. Now go before the birds steal our flowers.”

You shook your head with a smile on your face and allowed him to lead you the way. Hyunjin put his basket down in the middle. He started to pull out different snacks you liked one by one, including your favourite drink. Maybe he had some help from Felix, you assumed and the thought of them talking about and planning your fake-date made you feel flustered. 

Your heart felt full and you giggled quietly when you saw him struggle to open one of the snack packages. Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “I’m trying my best here.”

He did not allow you to help setting anything up, but he did start a conversation with you. He asked you about your favourite things, your favourite colour, your favourite food, and your favourite drinks, and smiled like a child on christmas when you told him that he got pretty much everything you liked right on his blanket. He was included in that list, you thought, but did not want to say it out loud.

In return, you asked Hyunjin about some casual stuff while you ate. You asked him about his job and how he got to know Felix.

“Funny story, actually,” Hyunjin smiled and put his hand in front of his mouth to talk more while he was eating, “We both work at the company together, right? And we’re both in this, like, really small department responsible for choreographies and everything. And we’re only about ten people maybe, and I’m really close friends with our department’s boss, Minho.”

You nodded along while he was talking. You knew Minho, Felix had introduced you to him before and you really saw why the CEO picked him to lead the choreography department. Not only was he really talented at what he did, but he was also incredibly charming, just like Hyunjin was.

“Minho basically told me to check Felix out, you know, to make sure that he was a good fit for the company. Minho already knew that, of course, because he had already decided at that point that he wanted to hire him. But what Minho wanted to know first was how Felix and I would get along. So on his first day, Felix was almost running late, we just danced together. Only the three of us. We wanted to know how well our dancing styles fit and our personalities matched and it actually went great. It was so much fun.”

You smiled at his words. Felix had called you that night to tell you about how much he loved his new coworkers and that he hoped that he made a good first impression. Naturally, he did. Felix always did.

Hyunjin kept going, “And when we were done and getting ready for lunch, Felix got this huge box out, right? And we were already jealous of him, because wow he really made himself this giant ass lunch and we have to go out and buy ours? But then he opened the box and it was a bunch of brownies stacked on top of each other. He offered them to us and we ate all of them during our lunch break and it was so much fun. That was the day I decided that I needed Felix in my life.”

“So food is the way into your heart?” You joked and plopped another snack into your mouth.

Hyunjin hummed, “Mhm. There’s just something so bonding about sharing homemade food with someone. Felix basically confessed his love to us that day.”

Shaking your head, you just looked down and smiled.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

After a while, it started to get cold. Hyunjin noticed you shaking slightly and offered you a blanket he took with him. Gratefully, you accepted it and put it over your lap.

Hyunjin, however, seemed to be cold himself. He kept hugging his jacket tighter to his body and he was slightly uncomfortable. Because of this, you took the basket into your hand and placed it onto your other side. You lifted one side of the blanket up and gestured Hyunjin to just come closer to you. He looked at you. 

“Isn’t that a bit too soon on a first date?” He joked, but accepted your offer. He sat down beside you, your thighs slightly touching. It made you feel electricity all over your body and you tried your best to ignore the rapid beating of your heart.

“Don’t be silly,” you answered and innocently patted the blanket on top of his lap. Hyunjin shifted slightly and looked up.

“I’d rather you don’t die of the cold. Just accept it this time.”

“Thank you,” Hyunjin licked his lips.

“You can see the stars today,” he said and you looked up, too. The sky was clear and you could see every single constellation in the sky. It was beautiful.

Hyunjin laid down beside you and you followed him, pressing your shoulder up against his.

“You can see the ursa major over there.” He pointed at some stars in the sky. You leaned closer into him to follow his guidance.

“Do you know much about constellations?”

Hyunjin snorted, “That’s about it.”

The both of you laid together in silence after that, just feeling the body heat of each other below the blanket. No one else was at the park anymore, except for a few teenagers nearby, but they were so quiet, you barely even noticed that they were there. Not that you would have paid attention to anything other than Hyunjin, anyway.

“Where do you think you’re gonna be in a few years?” Hyunjin asked suddenly. 

You chuckled, “Isn’t that a deep question for a first date?”

“Not a date,” Hyunjin shook his head beside you. Your heart dropped a little at his words.

“This question is only between us. Only Hyunjin and Y/N.”

You nodded.

“I guess, I just want to be done with my novel,” you joked and Hyunjin laughed quietly, “I just want to move people with my works. Is that cheesy?”

Hyunjin shook his head, “It’s not. I feel the same way about my paintings.”

“I’m sure they’re beautiful, Hyunjin.” Just like you.

Hyunjin just smiled beside you.

“They will be.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

The both of you stargazed for a little while longer, until the cold became unbearable. Hyunjin took you back home in his car and the both of you sat together in blissful silence. When the both of you arrived at your home, Hyunjin got up first again to open the door for you. He walked you towards your door and you turned around to look at him.

“How did you like our date?” He asked you and you chuckled.

“It was cute.”

“Only cute?” Hyunjin huffed and shook his head playfully, “I guess I’ll just step up my game for next time. I can’t have you running around thinking that dates are only cute. You need to raise your standards.”

Right. Because this was not a date. This was Hyunjin helping you out to write your novel about romance. Not him actually wooing you. 

Suddenly, Hyunjin took a step towards you. You stared into his pretty eyes, thinking about all the things you should not think about; how pretty he was and how soft his lips looked and how badly you wanted to kiss him. On cue, Hyunjin leaned in slowly. Your eyelids flattered and you gazed down at his lips while licking your own. Hyunjin slightly brushed his nose against yours, before he smirked and pulled away.

“I don’t kiss on the first date,” He said cheekily and stood up straight. You were still in a daze and just gawked up at him when you realised.

“You’re a bitch,” you said half-jokingly and Hyunjin giggled.

“Everything for you, bestie.” Bestie.

Awkwardly, Hyunjin offered his hand for a fist bump and you returned it. After that, he bid you goodbye and left for his car. You were dumbfounded about what just happened, but decided to not think about it too much. Yeah, you would just ignore how fast your heart was beating in your chest and how badly you wished that all of this was real.

When you went back inside, you saw that Hyunjin’s car was still parked in front of your home. Only then he drove away after a few more seconds of silence, leaving you wondering what he was thinking about. In the meantime, you got ready for bed, replaying the almost kiss at your doorstep again and again. Before you went to sleep, you called Felix, who you knew would still be awake, to let him know about almost everything that has happened today. Your crush on Hyunjin, however, would still remain a secret. At least until all of this was over.

˖⁺‧₊˚Phase Two: Infatuation˚₊‧⁺˖

Unlike last time, Hyunjin texted you again right away when he got home. He asked you if you got back inside safely and if you were in bed already. It made you beam at your phone when you answered him yes and thanked him for the date. It almost felt like everything was real. 

The next morning, you got up early. The first thing you did was unlock your phone and you saw a notification from Hyunjin right on top of your screen. Smiling slightly, you opened the message. It was nothing special in any way, only a meme about the stars, but it made you feel warm that Hyunjin thought of you when he saw it. The fact alone that he sent you the picture in the first place made you excited. Not only was this finally a conversation the both of you had that was not fake, or at least you hoped so, but it was also the first step towards a closer friendship. It made your heart soar and sore at the same time. 

Deciding to make your unrequited crush useful, you got out of bed and turned your laptop on. You made yourself some breakfast and sat down at your desk in front of your empty document, just like you did at the cafe. Unlike last time, however, the inspiration hit you right away. You wanted to write about first dates, about the spark, about the crush and the giddy feelings you had felt yesterday, but you hesitated. Your feelings should not be real, you reminded yourself as you started planning your script. They should not exist, but you could not help yourself but let your imagination run wild; pretending that your characters did the same things you wanted to do with Hyunjin in the most non-platonic way possible.

In the meantime, Hyunjin texted you again and again. It started to become a habit of his to send you random memes, much like Felix did, just to check up on you every single hour of the day. The conversations were never too deep or too meaningful, but they meant the world to you. This is why your novel and its draft went long and longer as time went on.

About a week after your first date, Hyunjin called you.

“Do you remember when you said that my paintings are good?” He asked you after some small talk and you furrowed your eyebrows on your side of the phone.

“Of course. Do you want me to come and model for them? Like we talked about?”

“No,” Hyunjin answered hastily, “I just. Wanted to show them to you, I guess. I just want to know what you think?”

It sounded like a question rather than a statement. For some reason, it made your heart beat a little bit faster in your chest.

“Do you want me to come over?” You asked and Hyunjin hummed.

“I would prefer to video call you, is that okay too?”

You pressed your lips together and agreed. It was okay that Hyunjin did not want to meet you, you thought, after all, you guys were barely even close. As close as you can be with someone you went on fake dates with.

Hyunjin looked gorgeous. That was the first thing you noticed when the both of you switched to your video call. He had some paint on his face and his long hair was tied together in a half ponytail. The smile on his face was vibrant when Hyunjin finally saw you.

“Hi,” he greeted you again and chuckled slightly, “I hope I’m not interrupting you.”

“Not at all,” you immediately interrupted him, “I’ve honestly been curious to see your paintings.”

Hyunjin blushed slightly and ran a hand through his hair. He was wearing some painting gloves and ended up smearing some more colour on his forehead. You snickered.

“You’re thinking way too highly of me,” he mused, but you could see that he absolutely loved your compliments.

“I’ve been painting something,” he said eventually, “I’ve been thinking about submitting it for the company’s creative design thing, but I’m not sure if it’s good, I guess, I just wanted to hear someone’s opinion.”

And he wanted to hear yours, you thought and smiled at his words.

“Show me.”

Hyunjin put his phone against his chest, the soft sweater he was wearing, and you could hear some rustling in the back. Before you could think too much about how soft the sweater must be and how desperately you wanted him to hug you against his chest this way, he already turned the camera around to show you his newest painting.

“Ta-Da,” he said and showed some unenthusiastic jazz hands in the corner of the screen. You gasped.

“Hyunjin, this is beautiful.” It was a small painting, maybe about the size of a regular piece of paper, but it left you breathless. It was a simple drawing of two people kissing with a blush on each of their cheeks. One had their hand on the other one’s neck, whereas his hand gently cupped the person’s cheeks. Below the shoulders, the drawing blended seamlessly together, as if both people were together as one.

On the other side of the phone, Hyunjin blushed, “Are you sure? Is this not too much?”

“Absolutely not,” you said, still in awe, “What inspired this?”

Now, Hyunjin’s blush turned a little bit darker and it left you wondering what his real thoughts were about.

“Just some romance in my life, I guess,” he answered eventually and changed the topic right away, “But talking about romance, how’s your novel going?”

You ignored the pang in your chest at the thought of him having romantic feelings for someone else, even though it was his right, after all. The both of you were not exclusive, anyway.

“It’s… good, yeah,” you answered and chuckled humorlessly, “I guess giving my guy some real features helped. The inspiration was definitely… there.”

Hyunjin nodded, “Yeah.”

The both of you looked at each other for a few long seconds, before Hyunjin turned away slightly.

“I’ve been planning our second date,” he confessed and scrunched his nose, “I’m kinda excited for it.”

“Me too,” you answered immediately and you felt your heartbeat a little bit faster, “I can’t wait to see what you have planned this time.”

Hyunjin smirked, “A little eager, aren’t we?”

You shook your head, a smile on your own face now, “You’re impossible.”

“Maybe,” Hyunjin hummed, “But I really can’t wait to see you again.”

You looked straight at him and before you could utter another word, Hyunjin already said goodbye.

“I need to go now,” he said and looked apologetic, “See you.”

“See you soon,” You smiled and watched Hyunjin hang up on you. It was silent after that. The only thing you could hear was your heartbeat, which did not seem to slow down at any time.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

When Hyunjin picked you up for your second date, you were actually dressed up and ready to go this time. He told you that he would pick you up again and he did, only to drive you over to his apartment. 

Hyunjin did not live far away from you. In fact, it was only a few minutes drive until you arrived at his apartment. He lived together with three of his friends, three people you have already met before, since they were also friends with Felix, too. The people in question were Chan, Changbin, and Jisung. They would occasionally join Felix and you, and you liked having all three of them around. Today, however, you were hoping that they were absent; not because you did not want to see them again, but because your date time with Hyunjin was already so limited, you did not want anyone to take that away from you.

When the both of you parked in front of his building, you grinned.

“I could have gotten here myself, you know?”

Hyunjin smiles, “Every monarch needs their driver. Plus, parking here is hell.”

As on your first date, Hyunjin got out before you did and opened the door for you.

“With those gas prices?” You joked and reached for your seatbelt. Before you could undo it yourself, Hyunjin already leaned over to do it for you again. He only looked into your eyes as he did, and it felt oddly intimate.

“Before we go, I need to warn you,” Hyunjin leaned back and helped you out of the car seat. You felt a bit dizzy from his closeness, which is why it took you a few moments before you understood what he just told you.

“Huh?”

Huynjin chuckled, “I cleaned the apartment this morning, but I live with three idiots. If you see anything suspicious or just a bunch of protein powder, can you please do me a favour and pretend you didn’t?”

He gently put his hand on the small of your back to lead you closer to the door. You sighed quietly and leaned into his touch. Hyunjin did not mind, and if he did, he did not let it show. 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

The apartment was surprisingly clean. Despite Hyunjin’s worries, you did not notice anything messy or out of the ordinary. The entire apartment was clean and nice, and even the decorations were comfortable and neat. It felt like a real home.

Hyunjin led you towards the kitchen, where he had everything decorated and prepared for your date. He put a bunch of your favourite flowers up on the table and a separate smaller bouquet of flowers was standing in a beautifully decorated and presumably self painted vase in between all of those. Hyunjin took that one into his hands and handed it to you.

“This is for you,” He said, before Hyunjin smiled bashfully, “I guess you can’t put them anywhere, but I just wanted you to know.”

You smiled at his words and smelled the flowers, “They’re beautiful, thank you.”

“Not as beautiful as you,” Hyunjin remarked, his shyness all gone now. In return, you only hid your face in the flowers and turned around to face the table beside you.

Deciding to ignore his fake-flirting for now, you asked: “What are we doing today?”

“We’re cooking!”

Hyunjin took some ingredients out of the fridge and put them all neatly beside each other in front of you.

“It’s gonna be good, I promise. Minho gave me his recipe and his food is insane, you will like it. I know it.”

You nodded at his words and took everything in, “Let’s do it.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

In preparation for your cooking process, Hyunjin opened all the containers filled with his pre-prepared ingredients. He was wearing something comfortable today, just like you were. Yet, he struggled with the long sleeves of his sweater and just rolled them up. You watched him as he did. Hyunjin’s arms flexed as the material of the sweater was pulled over them, and he used his long fingers to keep them all in place. To say that you ogled at him was an understatement.

Lucky for you, Hyunjin did not notice your obvious staring again. Instead, he was now struggling with some of the containers, since some of them were a bit too tightly closed for his liking. When he opened them, he looked at you proudly and you returned his big smile with a much softer one.

“Do we get started now?” He asked enthusiastically and clapped his hands together. 

You did not join him, however, but rather watched him as he did most of the work in preparing your food. Hyunjin was so concentrated on getting everything right, that he barely even noticed you watching him. 

He was beautiful, you thought when he tied his hair back. Hyunjin looked so comfortable and everything was so domestic, you allowed yourself to pretend that this was your actual life. You were on a real date with a guy who really liked you and who cooked for you, instead of a fake date with a friend who only wanted to help you with your work. It was hard to keep that reminder out of your thoughts. You sighed.

“I usually don’t go all out like this,” Hyunjin admitted bashfully, thinking that your sigh was directed at him, “but I really wanted today to be nice.”

“It is,” you told him, “I really like it.”

And you did. Even though you desperately wished that it was all real.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Dinner was served after an hour and it tasted amazing. You took your first bite and moaned quietly at how good it tasted. 

“I’m in love,” you groaned, “You’re amazing.”

Hyunjin’s eyes darkened and he licked his lips, “So I’ve been told.”

You were too engrossed in your meal to notice how Hyunjin looked at you. 

While you were eating, the conversation between the both of you slowly drifted back to the artwork Hyunjin showed you the other day.

“Did you ever end up submitting it?” You asked him and Hyunjin nodded, “I actually did. I’m still waiting for feedback, but it sounds like they actually liked it.”

“They should, it was breathtaking.”

Hyunjin’s ears turned red in response, “Thank you.”

You smiled softly and took another bite of your food.

“I’m serious. You’re so good.”

“I’m better at other things.”

You looked right at him and Hyunjin did too, and for a mere second, the both of you were only two people attracted to each other. At least that is what you desperately wanted this moment to be.

“Truth or dare?” 

“Sorry?” Hyunjin laughed.

You repeated yourself, “Truth or dare?”

“Is this a second date or a sleepover?”

You pouted, “I just want to have a little fun.”

“We can have fun in soo many other ways,” Hyunjin teased you again with a twinkle in his eyes, letting you know that he was partly joking, “but let’s go. Truth.”

“This is something I’ve been wondering the past few days,” You licked your lips as you gained some courage, “But who was your painting about? If you had someone in mind, that is. It had so many feelings, I’m just curious, I guess.”

Hyunjin was visibly taken aback and turned a bit shy.

“Something like that,” He mumbled and looked down at his plate. You felt yourself grow embarrassed now, already regretting that you asked him this question. You need to learn how to respect boundaries more, you reminded yourself, the both of you are not even close friends. Hyunjin was free to paint what he wanted and about whom he wanted, but why was your heart breaking at the thought? Of him having feelings for someone who was not you? He was your friend. You needed to stop allowing your crush to take over.

“Truth or dare.”

Hyunjin interrupted your self deprecating thoughts and smiled at you.

“Truth.”

“This is very personal,” Hyunjin started and poked around in his meal, “but why did you want to go on fake dates with me?”

“Why did you offer?”

Hyunjin smiled, “It’s your turn.”

“Because I have never been on good dates, I guess,” you shrugged, “And you were so enthusiastic about dating, I just wanted to know what it would be like. Even though it’s fake.”

Hyunjin smiles weakly, “I hope the dates we went on were good so far?”

“I enjoyed them more than you know,” you answered truthfully. Hyunjin and you locked eyes for a few moments, before the both of you only smiled at each other.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

After dinner was over, Hyunjin brought you back home, despite your protests. He would not even accept money for driving you around, nagging that this was all “part of the experience” and “who would he be if he let his date pay for what he offered?”

Like last time, Hyunjin walked you to your front door. This time, though, he took your hand into his sweetly.

“What’s on your mind?” You asked him and looked into Hyunjin’s eyes. They were sparkling under the moonlight and it made your heart soar.

“Like, another truth?” He joked and squeezed your hands lightly. You smiled, “Yes.”

“I kinda don’t want tonight to end,” He admitted quietly and leaned in closer to you. Your noses were almost touching now.

“Dare,” you whispered and Hyunjin scoffed softly.

“I dare you to kiss me.”

And you did. You put your hands on his cheeks and pulled him into you. Hyunjin whimpered under your touch and put his own hands on your waist, dragging you flat against him. He kissed you until you were out of breath. When you turned away, his lips followed yours and he whimpered again.

“Come back,” he breathed while he gazed at you desperately with hooded eyes. He cradled your face in his hands, begging for your touch.

 “Need you.”

You allowed him to kiss you again and again and again and you got lost in his touch after all. He tasted so sweet and his lips were so soft, you did not want this moment to end. 

You were still in a haze when you pulled away and Hyunjin followed your lips again. He was so desperate for your touch, just like you were for his. Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows and pressed peck after peck on the corner of your lips, just needing to touch you.

You put your hands on his strong chest and took a deep breath. Everything smelled like him and it was hard to form a coherent thought.

“Let’s just… not,” you mumbled and turned your head away slightly. Hyunjin let go of you immediately and took a step back. He looked light-headed and his hair was all over the place. His lips were red and plush from kissing you and his cheeks were burning.

Hyunjin licked his lips and looked at you apologetically. Before he could utter another word, however, you muttered him goodbye and walked through the door back inside. 

When you closed the door, you leaned against it and took a deep breath. A million thoughts were running through your head, all about Hyunjin. You were wondering why he kissed you so so passionately. Was it for the fake date or did he actually want to kiss you? You were in a haze and on cloud seven just thinking about how soft his lips felt against yours and how electric the tip of his fingers felt on your body. 

“Doesn’t he have a crush on someone?” You reminded yourself as you slid down the door. You put your face into your own hands, which were so cold now that you knew what Hyunjin’s touch felt like. You sighed and took your phone out of your pocket to dial Felix’s number. He would know that something was wrong if you did not tell him about the date the same night, so you did it now to get your mind off of what just happened. Felix picked up almost immediately.

“How was it?” He asked teasingly and you took another deep breath.

“It was… fine.”

˖⁺‧₊˚Phase Three: Relationship.˚₊‧⁺˖

If it had not been for Hyunjin texting you first, you probably would not have reached out to him. At least that is what you told yourself when you answered another message of his, answered to yet another meme he had sent you. Ever since your date, Hyunjin had not mentioned your kiss and neither had you; it was something of a silent agreement between the both of you to not talk about it, since it was part of the experiment. Yet, it sent your feelings into a spiral, more than you would like to admit. 

Hyunjin had been nothing but wonderful during your fake dates. He was attentive and thoughtful, and your friendship grew stronger by the second. The only thing that ruined it was your silly crush on him, which ironically inspired your book more than your regular dates would have had.

This is why, when you talked to Felix on the phone after the date, you did not mention the kiss. You were somewhat embarrassed by your feelings, even though all you wanted was for Hyunjin to actually mean it. At this point, it was pure selfinflicted torture. With every date that went by and every message Hyunjin sent you, you fell deeper and deeper for the man on the other side of your phone screen. And you felt uneasy and almost ashamed that you allowed your feelings to get the best of you and interpret so much more into the casual kiss than you should have.

If Felix noticed your conflicted feelings, he did not mention them. He asked you about the details of the date, but did not pressure you to reveal more than you were ready for. At the end, he asked you about your novel.

“Your deadline is soon, how are you holding up?”

You paused for a moment.

“Hyunjin was right, the dates are actually helping me. I’m almost finished.”

Felix hesitated, “That’s nice.”

The both of you kept silent after that and bid each other your goodbyes soon after. You wanted to write a bit more to follow your deadline and Felix had to call someone. It was important, as he claimed, and he hung up right after.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Sighing, you turned to your laptop. Like you told Felix, most of your novel was already one. Only a few plot points were still missing, which you wanted to work on now. Coincidentally, the plot point was very similar to what you were going through. Your character had very confusing feelings towards the love interest, but unlike you and Hyunjin, the love interest actually liked them back. Conversely, you allowed your imagination to take over again. It was only for work, you told yourself. Imagining that Hyunjin could have possibly meant the kiss as something much more than a platonic one was to help you write. Nothing else. 

While you wrote your heart out, the man in question called you. You stared at your phone as it lit up, waiting for Hyunjin to hang up on you. As much as you yearned to hear his voice, you knew that it would be for the best to keep some distance from him, at least until you were done with your writing session for today.

Your phone screen went black again and for a minute, everything was fine. Then, the screen lit up again with a message from Hyunjin. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting your writing session. I hope you’re doing well today, see you soon. :)”

Your heart felt heavy when you read his message, and instead of ignoring him like you told yourself you would, you answered him one more time, before you turned our phone off.

“Thank you, you too. :)”

Hyunjin was, despite how you felt, still so nice to you. There was nothing this man would not do for you, as you had realised, and you were so grateful for his presence in your life. Your crush would not interfere with that, you would make sure of it.

Instead, you sent Hyunjin memes back, texted him occasionally, and pretended that everything was fine. And it was. At least that is what you told yourself over and over again.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

A few more days had passed and everything went somewhat back to normal. Hyunjin called you again that Friday and this time, you actually picked up. He invited you out for your third date, asking you if tomorrow would work for you. Even though you were nervous, you agreed. You felt anxious and thought your feelings might get in the way of your experiment, but this was Hyunjin you were talking about, your friend. It would turn out just fine.

When Hyunjin picked you up the next day, he brought you flowers to your doorstep. They were your favourites, just like the last two times. You thanked him and brought them back inside, before you followed him to his car.

“Where are we going today?” You asked him when you opened the car door and Hyunjin smiled widely, “It’s a surprise.”

You sat down and reached for the car door again. Hyunjin, however, took a step forward to help you with your carbelt again. He smirked slightly as he leaned over you and his cologne spread around you like a familiar scent, making you feel a lot calmer and a lot more nervous than you wanted to let on. 

“Let me do this for you, okay?” He whispered and leaned into you. Hyunjin looked right into your eyes and smiled lightly, clicked the belt in place. You felt your heart beat out of your chest and wondered if he noticed.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

You were silent during your car drive. Hyunjin talked about his new works and how much the company appreciated his paintings so far. While he spoke, you only listened to him.

“And I was thinking, since we only have one date left after today and my deadline is coming closer, would you want to come over in a few days? To pose?” 

Surprised, you turned your head around.

“Huh?”

Hyunjin blushed, “You don’t have to, obviously. I know that you’re working a lot too, right now. We can always do it during another time. There are a lot more exhibitions coming up, if this one goes smoothly.”

You looked at Hyunjin.

“I would love to.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Hyunjin took you to the same park you went to during your first date. The weather was a bit more gloomy and chilly, but everything was just as beautiful as the last time. You got out of the car and took a deep breath, happy that you were not as close to Hyunjin anymore, and ashamed because of the same. 

Hyunjin led you towards the path along the lake again, like he did last time. This time, however, he did not carry a basket with him. It was only you and him and nothing between the both of you, except for the feelings you were hiding from him.

Unsuspectingly, Hyunjin only hummed and kept talking about everything that came to his mind. Despite the obvious slight awkwardness, it was still comfortable. Hyunjin was comfortable. The smile on his face was ever so prominent when he told you a few funny stories about his roommates from a few days ago. According to him, they were hoarding unseasoned chicken breast in their fridge and Hyunjin suffered from their protein addiction every day.

“They always try to get me to the gym,” he said and theatrically tossed his hands into the air.

You chuckled, “Impossible.”

“Like me dancing for money is not enough of a workout,” he huffed jokingly. 

You raised an eyebrow, “You do?”

Hyunjin noticed the implications of his words and laughed sulkingly, “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“I am!” You argued and frowned, “When am I not?”

Taken aback, Hyunjin glanced at you.

“You’re right,” he whispered, before his smile went back onto his face, “And that’s why you’re my favourite.”

Your heart stopped and you grimaced slightly. It was one thing to hide your feelings, but Huynjin jokingly flirting with you made it hard. He did not notice anything, however, and only interpreted your grimace as a joke. A joke between two friends.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

While you were walking, you noticed that Hyunjin’s hand occasionally grazed yours. At first, you thought that it was an accident. Then, he did it again and again and looked at you fleetingly. He did it on purpose, you noticed, just like he did last time. It made your heart beat faster in your chest and clench at the thought at the same time. Here he was, being your friend, and your heart betrayed you once again.

This time, Hyunjin sensed that something was wrong and asked you worriedly, “Are you okay?”

You nodded, but did not dare to look at him.

“I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep that well.”

Hyunjin huffed and the familiar sparkle went back into his eyes. 

“I can always help you out with that,” he winked. It made you feel warm inside, but you tried to ignore that feeling. Part of the experiment, you reminded yourself.

You did not answer him and opted to look away instead. Hyunjin took your hand into his and wiped his thumb against the back of your hand. He stood still and so did you.

“Hey,” he said and pulled you closer into him. You looked up, right into his eyes. They sparkled and radiated so much warmth, just like they always did. 

“I’m serious. We’re… friends, right?”

Friends. Yeah.

You nodded at his words. In response, Hyunjin smiled again and squeezed your hand.

“Now c’mon, let’s sit down for a moment, yeah?”

Your heart would not stop beating in your chest. It went so fast you almost felt dizzy, all because Hyunjin still had your hand in his.

Hyunjin pulled you towards a bench near the path and told you to sit down. You did and as did he. It was quiet between the both of you. All you heard was your beating heart. Hyunjin’s hand still grabbed yours tightly, absentmindedly playing with your fingers. 

“Actually, there’s something I wanted to tell you,” he said eventually and you hummed.

“Go ahead.”

Hyunjin was shy all of sudden and looked ahead towards the lake in front of him-

“I really like dating you,” he confessed and looked right at you. His beautiful eyes were shining so bright and he actually seemed nervous.

“I really like dating you too,” you agreed, praising his help as your friend. Hyunjin smiled and was relieved.

Then, he asked, “Can I be your boyfriend?”

Oh.

At first, you felt excited. Out of breath, even. You allowed yourself to consider for a split moment that this was Hyunjin actually confessing his feelings for you, but the truth hit you immediately. You felt so sad all of sudden and had to look away from him. This was all just an act, you repeatedly told yourself while Hyunjin’s eyes were still fixated on you. He was not interested in you, he was just being a good friend. He had his eyes on someone else, someone he painted about. Someone he probably thought about right in this moment, while he was playing pretend with you. 

You shook your head and laughed sadly, “I think we’re done here.”

Then, you whispered, “Can I go home, please?”

Hyunjin started at you.

“What?”

There was no way you could keep your composure if he kept talking to you, you thought and bit your lip.

“I just don’t feel good. I’d like to go.”

Hyunjin nodded confusedly, before his confusion turned into a frown. He got up first and let go of your hand.

“Let’s go,” he said emotionlessly and you got up, too. You walked back to his car in silence and did not utter a single word on your way back to your home. When you arrived, you only told Hyunjin, “Thank you for bringing me home.”

He only nodded.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

As you went back inside, the tears started pooling in your eyes. It was so silly of you to think that today would have gone well, when today was literally the day Hyunjin would ask you out for your experiment. You already knew that it was supposed to happen today, why did it take you by surprise?

Back in your bedroom, you cried. You weeped for minutes on end about all the feelings you had been buried deep inside your chest. The heartbreak felt so sudden, and yet, you had not done a good job at avoiding it, anyway.

Then, you were out of tears, just like that. You only sat on your bedroom floor like the picture of misery. That is exactly what you felt like.

Deciding that you really needed to talk about all of this, you called Felix. You needed your best friend right then and right now and as if he had sensed it, Felix picked up right away.

“This was such a shit idea,” you hiccuped and Felix understood immediately.

“What the fuck did Hyunjin do,” he threatend, “I will murder this man.”

You started to cry again at his words.

“It wasn’t him,” you cried and pulled your legs right against your chest, “It was me. I already had this stupid crush on him when we started fake dating and now…”

You interrupted yourself with another sob and Felix cooed.

“It’s okay.” “It’s not.”

You sniffed, “I have this stupid crush on my friend, who’s in love with someone else. I’m fucking miserable.”

“On someone else?” Felix exclaimed, “Not you? That man is obsessed with you. Hasn’t talked about anyone else ever since you guys started doing whatever it is that you do. He’s literally been painting your dates and it’s all he ever talks about. Y/N this, Y/N that, it’s as if you guys are dating already. He literally adores you so so much.”

“You’re a dumbass liar,” you sniffled again, “I will literally punch you the next time I see you.”

Felix went quiet for a moment.

“He asked me to help him plan the picnic. I got him a list of all of your favourite foods. He wanted to know all about your favourite flowers, too. That man is so crazy about you.”

You sighed, “Felix, please.”

“Would I ever lie to you?” He asked instead and you hesitated. Felix chuckled on the other side of the phone.

“See? Just trust me on this, okay?”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Felix hung up after you had promised him that you were fine over and over again. He even told you that he would come over after his shift was over. Even though you wanted to be alone, you still accepted his offer, knowing that he would drop by either way. 

A few minutes passed after your call with Felix ended. You got up from the floor and wiped your hands over your eyes. Then, your phone lit up again.

It was a call from Hyunjin. You did not answer him.

˖⁺‧₊˚Phase Four: Commitment˚₊‧⁺˖

For the next few days, you worked on your novel. Since your first draft was finished now, you had enough time to edit it before your deadline in a few days, and as you worked your way through your book, you were reminded of Hyunjin on every page. You reminisced about your meeting with Felix, when Hyunjin first offered his help. If only you had known how that one would turn out.

With every page and every plot point and every romantic scene, you smiled a bit more at your screen. You yearned for your time together and for how easy it had been. Working through your draft was painfully easy, given that everything was inspired by the problem that plagued you the most. When you were done, you sent your publisher your final draft and let go of your thoughts along with it.

During those days, Hyunjin stopped calling and texting you. He did at first, but you did not answer him. It was hard for you to face him, to think about what had happened and to pretend that you were fine. Maybe it would have been easier for you to say that you only felt under the weather and that was it. Yet, you also did not want to lie to Hyunjin. You did not want to continue onto your last date and pretend that everything was fine. Your novel was finished now, anyway, so there was nothing Hyunjin had left to do.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Since Felix was friends with the both of you, he heard about your situation from both sides. Ever since you finally started opening up to him about your feelings towards Hyunjin, he had been trying to encourage you to talk to Hyunjin again.

“You’re an idiot,” Felix told you on the phone, “Both of you are. Fucking idiots.”

You rolled your eyes at his words, “I’m sorry that I value not having my heart broken.”

“If you did, you wouldn’t behave this way,” Felix shot back and you huffed. 

“Did you only call me to be mean to me?”

“I called you because I haven’t seen you in a while and if you don’t actually go out with me to celebrate your new book I will haunt you down.”

You groaned, “Do I have to?”

“Yes. See you tomorrow night.” 

With that, Felix hung up on you.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

When you got ready for your date with Felix, your mind drifted to Hyunjin again. It happened a lot, you thought as you put your shoes on. The last time you and Felix went to the cafe he suggested, Hyunjin had joined you on his lunch break. Maybe it could be cathartic to meet Felix there alone.

You made your way to the restaurant. It was not very crowded when you walked through the door. Felix, however, was nowhere to be seen.

You texted him again to make sure that he was fine and already decided on a table to sit at, just in case he was late. You kept your phone in your hands to wait for Felix’s response, but to no avail. Just when you thought about calling him, since he did not even read the message, you heard someone call your name. You looked up, right into Hyunjin’s eyes.

“Y/N,” he said and your mouth opened slightly.

“Hyunjin?”

He looked miserable. His hair, even though he had tried his best to make it look tidy, was unkempt, his clothes were slightly wrinkly, and his eyes had lost all of the sparkle they had left in them. It was as if he was only a shadow of his former self, just as miserable as you were.

“I’m meeting Felix,” was all you said and Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows.

“That’s what he told me, too.”

Realising what Felix was up to, you stood up yourself, fully facing Hyunjin now.

“I think he won’t come,” you said quietly, “I think it’s best if I go.”

“NO!” Hyunjin took a step forward, his chest almost touching yours now. The both of you looked at each other in the middle of the restaurant and Hyunjin only took a step back when he noticed the baristas looking at you.

“Stay. I want to talk to you.”

You glanced over to the baristas, who were now straight up staring at the both of you. They looked oddly familiar, now that you were paying more attention to them. When the first barista noticed your eyes on him, he awkwardly walked backwards to hide behind the other one, who rolled his eyes at him. They were Jisung and Seungmin, who did not even work here. 

Sighing, you nodded at Hyunjin and sat back down. He seemed more alive now with a light smile on his face.

“Thank you,” he whispered and sat down in front of you. Nervously, he tapped on top of the table with his fingers, thinking about what to say.

“What are you coworkers doing here?” You asked suddenly and Hyunjin looked right at you again.

“Huh?”

“They’re kinda staring at us from behind the counter and I’m pretty sure that space is for employees only.”

Hyunjin turned around slightly. The eye contact with his two friends was brief, but enough. Jisung waved at him and Seungmin kicked him into his side. Hyunjin chuckled awkwardly.

“Helping?”

You sighed again quietly. 

“Hyunjin, what are we doing here?”

“I want to make it up to you,” he said suddenly, clenching his fist on the table, “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

Now, it was your turn to be confused, “Hurt me?”

Hyunjin sighed and rolled his head into his neck, before he said, “I regret the experiment. It was a mistake.”

“Oh.”

Your heart felt heavy at his words and awful thoughts were starting to form inside your head. Hyunjin seemed to notice and put his hands closer towards you.

“That’s not what I mean,” he said immediately and took a deep breath.

“I regret that they were fake, I mean. I regret that I didn’t have the balls to ask you out for real.”

“Hyunjin…” you began, but he shook his head.

“I like you. Always have. I like you so much, I think I will go insane if I have to go another day without talking to you, texting with you, seeing you. Even if you don’t feel the same, please don’t let this ruin our friendship. You mean so much more to me that you know, and I’d rather keep you as a friend, even if I can’t have you for myself. If you want it too, that is.”

He looked absolutely heartbroken and so nervous. His eyes flickered between yours and for a brief moment, you saw a spark of hope in them. When you did not answer, it vanished as soon as it appeared.

“Do you mean it?” was  the only thing you asked and Hyunjin nodded.

“I do. You don’t know how many times I begged Felix to take me to his lunch dates with you again. For the longest time, I thought that you were dating, you and Felix, but then he told me that all of the guys occasionally went out with you two, and then Minho mentioned you ranting about some failed date to him, and I just-”

You chuckled and put your hand on the table in front of his.

“You’re so cute.”

Before Hyunjin could answer, he was interrupted by a bottle falling to the ground. The crash surprised the both of you, and Hyunjin took your hands into his without thinking, ready to protect you in case it was needed. It was sweet.

The culprit, however, was no one other than Jeongin, who had joined Jisung and Seungmin behind the counter. The both of them were staring at him now, scolding him in the process. Hyunjin groaned.

“I have no idea why they’re here,” he confessed and rubbed the back of your hands with his thumbs, “I rented the cafe and I thought we would be alone, but I told Felix about it. For some reason, he thought that it was a good idea to be included in the plan. Minho too. They’re in the kitchen, preparing some food, and I thought that was it. I don’t know why they invited these idiots along.”

“We can hear you,” Jisung called over and squinted his eyes. Seungmin hit him over the back of his head, “Fuck off.”

Hyunjin rolled his head into the back of his head and groaned again. You giggled and squeezed his hands.

“Leave them be, they’re just trying to help.”

“They’re only nosy,” Hyunjin mumbled, but squeezed your hands right back with a smile on his face.

Then, he put his head back up.

“I asked you a question the other day and you never answered,” Hyunjin said suddenly and you were confused.

“Huh?”

“Can I ask you again? Can I be your boyfriend?”, he smiled.

You smiled back. “Please.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

masterlist

03. ALL THIS FOR ME?

pairing: kang taehyun x reader

summary: friends— that's all what you guys are, yet why does he brush your hair so fondly? why does he holds your hand as you walk home? And you don't even like each other that much. wait, fuck, maybe you do? does he though? you have to find out someway or another.

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note: how is it so far? feedback is appreciated 🫶🏻

taglist: bold (can't tag)

@boba-beom @beeomgui @luvsoobs @bunnystrm @yenqa @hueninv @moontyuns @jjunsolos @sullystraw @tyunsion @txtbrainrot @goldennika @automatictalebeliever @vexstrils @soobinlover718 @strawbrinkofdeath @hyusun @wezbin @enhapocketz @dainsleif-when-playable @igotkpoops @luvdokja @vianna99 @emohazuzworld

Match Found ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - 8. night night

Synopsis: Jungwon is sick of his friends' constant teasing over his lack of gaming skills. Determined to secretly improve and prove enha wrong, Jungwon sets out to learn to play, except he has no clue where to begin. Luckily for him, y/n is a girl with too much time on her hands, a desperate need for distraction and is more than happy to indulge him. Only, things are never that simple and Jungwon soon finds it difficult to explain exactly what the pair have become.

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smau + (3.3k) written work (srry lol i have no excuse )

warnings: mentions of death and parental neglect. mentions of injury and blood. cursing.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I gotta go,” Jungwon curses to himself as he hops around the room, pulling on his sneakers and grabbing his hoodie off of his chair. Running his fingers through his hair, Jungwon spins aimlessly in the middle of his room, eyes darting around frantically for a glimpse of his keys and wallet. 

Fucking hell. I don't have time for this. I'll just text someone to let me in tomorrow. Jungwon abandons the seemingly impossible task and bursts out of his room, startling Heeseung who looks up at him through a mouthful of ramen. 

“Hyung, I need your car. I'll bring it back sometime tomorrow. Where are your keys? Jungwon asks, feet tapping impatiently against the floor. 

Heeseung only stares back in wide eyed confusion, swallowing harshly. "Woah Jungwon, you good? Where are you even heading out this late?"

Jungwon groans in exasperation, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Look hyung, I need to get to Y/N's right now. It's important and I'm worried. Can we please save the story time for later? Either give me your keys or I'm just gonna run there."

Heeseung' stare softens at Jungwon's anxious demeanor and he pushes away from the table, standing up. "I'll drive you, it's not safe for you to be on the road when you're this worked up. Come on, let's go" 

Jungwon doesn't wait for Heeseung to finish his sentence, walking briskly out the door without a second glance. Heeseung gives his half eaten bowl of ramen one last doleful look "I'll be back for you baby girl,” sighing as he follows Jungwon out. 

The car ride is tense to say the least. Any attempts of making jokes or small talk are quickly shut down by a sharp glare from the passenger seat.  Jungwon knows he's being irrational, that Heeseung is doing him a favor and he should be grateful and much nicer. But the hammering of his heart against his ribs won’t allow him to act rationally and he knows that Heeseung understands, he always does. So Jungwon vows to thank him and apologize properly later but for now, he allows his mind to be consumed by thoughts of you. 

As the car finally turns down the familiar street of your place, Jungwon's fingers drum insistently against his bouncing thigh. His energy begging to be expended as he resists the urge to just jump out of the car and run up all 42 flights to your side. A gentle pat on his shoulder brings him back to reality, and Jungwon turns to meet his friend's warm gaze.

"Don't worry Jungwon. Y/N seems like a strong girl. I'm sure she’s fine. And even if she's not, she will be eventually." Heeseung says softly.

Jungwon nods stiffly, willing himself to believe Heeseung's words.You were fine. You had to be.  "You can pull over here hyung, it's that building. Thanks for taking me" he mutters quietly, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"Alright Jungwon, do you want me to wait for you out here? Or go up with you?" Heeseung asks as the car rolls to a stop.

"No. Go home hyung. I'll see you tomorrow." Jungwon says firmly and takes off in a brisk jog.

Knowing he was almost at his destination did nothing to calm the jitters that ran down his spine. If anything, it just spurred him to run even faster, ignoring the curious looks he got as he moved through the familiar lobby, dashing into the waiting elevator.

Come on, come on, come on. Y/N why the fuck do you have to live all the way at the top. The numbers on the elevator ascend at a tortuous pace and Jungwon feels as if he might just lose his mind. The chime of the doors opening finally puts him out of his misery and Jungwon sends up a silent prayer that Chenle was right about your code as he punches it into the keypad. 

A green flash assures Jungwon that his luck hadn’t run out completely and he walks in, blinking as his eyes adjust to the darkness. Your house is eerily silent, only illuminated by the lights of the metropolis outside your windows. 

"Y/N?" Jungwon calls out anxiously, moving towards your room, receiving no answer in return. Jungwon’s ears prick at the faint sobs coming from the opposite direction and he goes to your living room to find you sitting on the floor staring out the large windows. He approaches you cautiously, there's a crunch under the boot of his shoe and Jungwon looks down in confusion to find the marble covered in shards of glass and swirls of red fluid. For a moment, Jungwon’s heart drops to his stomach but he breathes a sigh of relief as the astringent smell hits his nose and he realizes the culprit is wine. 

Your head turns away from the cityscape at the sound of crushed glass, brows knitting in confusion when you find Jungwon staring back at you.

"Jungwon? What are you doing here?" You ask breathily, eyes dilating as you take in his appearance.

He rakes his eyes over your figure, scanning for any trace of injury and for a second Jungwon is at a loss for words. Your eyes are rimmed red, cheeks still streaked with the remnants of tears and yet Jungwon can’t help the way his breath hitches at the sight of you under the moonlight. It’s almost hauntingly beautiful and he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to forget how you look up at him that night. 

"Chenle told me what happened. ,” Jungwon starts carefully, “Your friends said that you weren't answering their calls. I was- We were worried about you,"Jungwon amends. 

Your eyes prick at the reminder of what exactly had gotten you into your current state. You wipe furiously at your eyes, glaring out the window. "He shouldn't have bothered you with this shit. I'm sorry you had to come all this way Jungwon, I was just being stupid and dramatic."

 A mix of shame and anger swirls at the pit of your chest at the realization that once again you had troubled and burdened your friends. You know better, you silently reprimand yourself, chewing on the inside of your cheek. 

You push yourself up to your feet, ignoring Jungwon's warnings in your haste to get up. "I'll message them. You can go home I'm fine-" you wince, your words halting at the feeling of a sharp sting against your palm.

In a flash, Jungwon is by your side, firmly grabbing your wrist. "I told you to be careful. You are not fine. And I am not going to go home." He says firmly, staring into your eyes with a steely gaze. 

Dumbly, you nod back at him and he huffs, looking down and examining the beads of blood that have begun to pool in the crevices of your palm. "It doesn't look that deep but we should still disinfect it and wrap it. Do you have a first aid kit?" 

"In my room," you mutter . And Jungwon hums, promptly picking you up bridal style ignoring the startled gasp that escapes your lips. “There's glass on the floor," Jungwon cuts you off before you can protest, carrying you over to your room. 

He pushes the door open deftly with his shoulder, setting you down on your bed. You look at him with slight amusement, entertained by how seriously Jungwon was taking his job as your caretaker.

He looks at you expectantly and you smile, “The kit’s in my bedside table, second drawer,” you offer helpfully, to which he nods and begins rummaging through your cabinet. 

Unable to resist teasing any longer, you clear your throat and speak up, “You know you could've just gotten me my slippers or something instead of carrying me Jungwon,” you smirk. 

You laugh as he visibly pauses mid search, mumbling a "shut up", his ears glowing a faint red. Jungwon brings the first aid kit over to you, batting your hand away as you try to take it from him.

"I can do it," you offer, pursing your lips as Jungwon deadpans at you, pulling your injured hand into his lap. "Your dominant hand is literally cut and bleeding Y/N. How are you going to disinfect and bandage this big ass gash with only one hand?"

"I’ve seen people do it all the time in movies, it can’t possibly be that hard. I’ll be fine,” you whine, trying to yank your hand away from his grasp. 

Jungwon scoffs, flicking your forehead, "Stop being stubborn and just let me take care of you."

"I don't know if I can trust you to take care of me if you're assaulting your patients like this," you pout, rubbing your forehead. "At least put on a sexy nurse costume or something, it’ll make you look more reliable.” 

Jungwon doesn't dignify your joke with a response, focusing instead on your wound. He carefully wipes away the blood, checking for any stray pieces of glass. With a warning, he gently presses the antiseptic to your cut, whispering an apology when you wince. He diligently bandages your hand, turning it over and tracing the bandage gingerly to make sure it's entirely secure. You watch wordlessly as Jungwon’s fingers graze the curves of your hands and fingers, his touch feather light. 

Looking up at your uncharacteristic silence, Jungwon’s not quite sure what to make of the emotions that pool in your eyes. There’s a foreign intensity behind them and his eyes can't help but flicker down to your lips. The air is stifling and Jungwon wants nothing more than to close the distance, to draw the air he so desperately needs from your lips. 

Instead, he opts to look away, coughing awkwardly. "All done. You should probably change" he gestures to your wine stained dress. You look at him in contemplation, noting the slight flush on the back of his neck, watching as his Adam's apple bobs up and down as he swallows, eyes trained on your wall. 

Taking pity on him, you walk towards your dresser, letting the tension dissipate into the stale air. You rifle through your clothes, pulling out a pair of shorts and an oversized tee that either Chenle or Haechan had left behind during your group sleepovers. 

“Turn around, I’m gonna change,” you warn half-heartedly, waiting for a beat before starting to tug your dress over your head. Jungwon immediately turns, busying himself with his phone. He shoots both Chenle and Heeseung a text, assuring both of them that everything was alright, desperately trying to block out the sounds of rustling fabric behind him. 

Jungwon keeps his head bowed, eyes glued to his screen until he feels the bed dip next to him and a slight tug on the hem of his shirt. “You texted Chenle?” you ask casually, humming when he nods in confirmation. 

You try to feign nonchalance but struggle to meet Jungwon’s eyes as you prepare yourself for the conversation ahead. “So, he told you?”

"Yeah." Jungwon admits quietly. 

"About what happened today? Or everything.”

"Everything."

"Hm, I see.” you fiddle absentmindedly with Jungwon’s shirt, pulling at the stray threads in the frayed ends. 

“I'm sorry that he told me. And I'm sure Chenle's sorry he had to tell me as well. He was just worried about you,” Jungwon prods tentatively, unsure of your reaction. 

“No, I know. I get it. It’s my fault for not responding and putting him in that position in the first place.” you let out a puff of frustration. “ I just wish I could've told you everything on my terms, explained properly. This wasn’t how I wanted you to find out.” 

Jungwon tucks your hair behind your ear, nudging you encouragingly, “Then do it. Explain it to me how you would’ve if today didn’t happen.”

You take a deep breath, instinctively reaching out to play with Jungwon’s fingers for a sense of comfort and give him a wobbly smile. 

“So, like Chenle told you, my mom passed away a few days after giving birth to me. There were some complications during the procedure and she never recovered.

I know that my dad resents me for her death. That if he had the choice he would've chosen her over me. And I can't really blame him. The woman he fell in love with and built a whole life around, gone, and just for a baby he didn't have any attachment to yet.

At first I didn’t really understand the situation, so I did everything I could just to get even a speck of his attention. But as I grew older, I pieced together the truth from the whispers from my nannies and my dad’s staff. And then it became more than just looking for his attention, I felt like I had to prove my worth somehow. I had to prove that I wasn't just useless, that my mom hadn't given up her life for me just to amount to nothing.

I wanted to make him believe that her choice was justified. I don't think I'll ever be able to get my dad to think so. I’ve known that for a long time.” You draw a shaky breath, tears streaming down your cheeks slowly. Jungwon’s heart clenches at the sight and he pulls you into his lap, rubbing your back soothingly as you try to continue. 

“But then something like this happens, he gives me the slightest indication that something might change. And it's like I'm 7 years old all over again. On that stage holding a stupid trophy that's bigger than me. Flashing lights and photographers, searching in a sea of faces for the one person that will never be there.”

“And I'm so, so, tired of being disappointed,” your voice cracks with emotion, “Tired of even having any expectations. It happens every time.”

“ He left. He knew that I was waiting for him and he just left. With nothing but a stupid bottle of wine as a gift. Not a note that said happy birthday, or even goodbye.” you mutter bitterly. 

Your vision blurs with hot, angry tears, “He's never once wished me happy birthday. That's all I ever wanted from him. But he can’t give me that, he thinks spending money will help us both ignore the reality that he can’t stand to be around me. So I’m left with a  bottle of wine that's as old as me and probably costs more than someone’s yearly salary. Another reminder of everything he's given me and everything I will never amount to in his eyes.”

“And I was just so mad, I picked it up and threw it against the wall. I only ended up making a huge mess and getting hurt so I guess my plan backfired,” you laugh sardonically. 

“I probably should've sold it or given it to Chenle, so that was stupid of me but I just couldn't look at it anymore,” your voice dies into a soft whisper. 

Jungwon tilts your face up to meet his gaze, brushing away the stray tears in the corners of your eyes.

"Happy Birthday Y/N . I'm so glad that you're here and that I’m able to be by your side. Even if that means running across the city in the middle of the night" He says, knocking his forehead against yours affectionately. 

You give a watery laugh, eyes welling up at the sincerity in his tone. You lean your forehead onto Jungwon's shoulder "Thanks Yang Jungwon, it means a lot. I'm sorry for getting tears and snot all over your hoodie"

Jungwon snorts in response, smoothing over your hair, “Occupational hazard of being your best friend I guess.”

Best friend. You laugh to yourself at the absurdity of the situation. It was insane how in such a short amount of time Jungwon has carved out a space for himself in your heart. Your smile fades, your mood sobering slightly as doubts begin to creep back into the corners of your mind.

"Hey Jungwon?" you ask hesitantly. 

"Yeah Y/N?"

You’re unable to meet Jungwon’s questioning gaze, resolving to play with the strings of his hoodie instead. “You’ll tell me right if I'm being too much? Before you’re sick of me?” you ask softly. 

Jungwon leans back to look at your face with furrowed brows, “What the fuck are you on about Y/N, I’m not gonna get sick of you.”

You swat at Jungwon’s arm lightly, “You can't say that for sure. Everyone has limits and boundaries and unfortunately I have a tendency of finding those limits and pushing them unknowingly.”

You gesture to yourself with a wave of your hand. “This whole parental trauma, daddy issues thing, it can be a lot. And I have a bad habit of being overly attached and clingy to people. It's suffocating, I know. So just tell me okay? I’d rather know and dial it back than push you away and lose you entirely.”

Jungwon sighs and pulls you closer, placing a chaste kiss on your temple. “You're being ridiculous Y/N that's not gonna happen. I could never get sick of you. If anything you'll be sick of me.”

“Just promise me? Please?”

He rolls his eyes in exasperation, “Fine. If I wake up one day and decide that I’m suddenly sick of you, I promise you’ll be the first to know”.  

“Thanks Wonnie”, you smile in satisfaction, stifling a yawn behind the back of your hand.

"Aww, is my birthday girl tired?” he teases gently, glancing at your clock. 2:14 A.M.

“You should go to sleep now Y/N" Jungwon shifts you so that you’re laying on the bed and you quickly situate yourself under the blankets. Once he’s tucked you into your bed sufficiently, Jungwon stands with a slight stretch, ignoring the way his muscles protest at the movement. 

You cock your head in confusion, tugging him back by the sleeve of his hoodie "You're not staying?”

Jungwon blinks at you blankly, “I am, I'll just take the floor. Or the couch.”

You smile sleepily up at him, "Don't be stupid Jungwon." You scoot over, lifting the blanket and patting the empty space next to you in invitation.  

Jungwon merely gapes at you in response and you snicker at his vacant expression. 

“Jungwon, we literally cuddle in bed all the time, it's no different just because it's nighttime. Look, I'll even stay on my side of the bed okay?” You scoot back further to the edge of your bed, looking at him expectantly. 

Wordlessly Jungwon huffs, kicking off his shoes and shedding his hoodie. He clambers into your bed, exhaling lowly as he turns to face you. 

From the gap across the bed Jungwon watches as you give him a pleased smile, cheek squishing into the pillow and your hair splaying out behind you. He can't look away from the way your eyes shine in moonlight, staring back at him with a fondness that makes his heart stutter. 

“Night night, Wonnie," you whisper playfully, reaching out to lightly pinch at Jungwon's cheek. 

His eyes flutter close at the feeling of the pads of your fingers against his cheek and he groans internally.

Fuck it. Jungwon rolls his eyes in surrender, and pulls you closer to him, tucking you into the crook of his neck, a position that's way too familiar to him at this point. 

And maybe Jungwon really should reevaluate where he's at because the way his hand slides to rest at the small of your back is all too natural. And the feeling of your breath against his neck should really be unsettling but it’s not. 

He really should think about it, but right now it's nearly 3 AM and he doesn't have the energy to question how perfectly you fit against him. How you feel a bit too much like home. 

“What happened to me staying on my side of the bed,” you ask slyly in the most innocent tone you can muster. Jungwon can feel your barely concealed smile against his collarbone and punishes your taunt with a swift tug at your hair, enticing a snicker from your lips. 

"Shut up and go to sleep" he grumbles, and you laugh freely, burrowing comfortably into his arms. Jungwon can’t help but let his lips lift at the sound, and tightens his hold around you, waiting until he hears the faint puffs of your slumber before letting himself succumb to his dreams.  

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a/n: chenle rlly is jungwon's biggest supporter asjks carrying the y/nwon ship.

my longest chapter yet hhh i hope y'all enjoyed . I kinda cringed but :) lmk ur thoughts n feelings . Jett voice: night night!

taglist: open! send me an ask to be added!

@woncloudie @itsactuallylina @ifearjwn @fadedluvv @mangowonyo @xiaoderrrr @shinsou-rii @aki1e @makiswrld @jaehaki @criyiy @ilovewonyo @zeraaax @climbingmandevillas @pkjay @flower-lise @koudnd @beomgyusonlywife