Patience

Patience

Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Reader

Summary: It was just a childhood crush, right? If your heart skipped a beat every single time your eyes crossed or if your palms started to sweat with every lingering touch, it was just because of what you used to feel as a kid, right?

| Masterlist |

It was just a childhood crush. Nothing else. That’s what you’d heard all your life. And who could really blame you with how close you two had always been? No one. Truly, everyone around you both had expected one of you to grow a crush sooner or later.

You just wish it hadn’t been you. Everything would’ve been easier then. Cause nothing was worst than having a crush on THE Eren Jaeger.

If only he had never smiled your way maybe your heart would’ve been spared.

Tears started gathering in your eyes as you stared at your best friend dancing with another of your close friends. You couldn’t even find it in your heart to be mad. How could you when you knew how sweet and kind Historia was? You couldn’t blame Eren for choosing her, if there was ever really a choice to make.

You try to move your gaze away but all your strength was gone. It was as if your brain was unwilling to hide the truth from your heart, as if it had finally been enough.

A comforting arm settles itself across your shoulders and a body soon finds itself in front of you, shielding you from the heartbreaking scene.

“Don’t look, Y/N” you hear Armin say, he’s the one holding you safe under his arm.

“Let’s go home” says Mikasa, who’s shielding your view.

You can’t find your voice so you just nod weakly. Your best friends seem to understand though, and soon both are guiding you to the doors of your school gymnasium where the homecoming dance is being held.

Honestly, you knew this would happen someday. Eren had never shown any sign of reciprocating your feelings.

It still hurt though.

Armin and Mikasa keep quiet throughout the drive home, both allowing you to feel safe in their silence; neither asking you to voice how you’re feeling at the moment. You’re thankful for them, without them you’re not sure you’d even think about the possibility of mending your broken heart.

“You sure you don’t want us to stay with you tonight?”

You stare at them with a blank gaze, slowly shaking your head.

Mikasa and Armin share a look before nodding in understanding, promising to come check on you tomorrow. Waiting until you’re inside your home before even moving towards their car.

Only once you’re sure you’re safe inside your house and that they have left the driveway is that you allow yourself to crumble.

“Mom” you whimper “Mom! MOM!”

Your body is shaking and your voice is a dead giveaway that something is wrong, which makes your mother wake up alarmed and run downstairs.

The sight she is greeted with is one that breaks her heart in a way not even your father’s death could.

Your knees are wobbling and your whole body is trembling, it’s a miracle she reaches you in time before you fall down, gathering you safely in her arms as you allow yourself to break down for the first time that night.

“Shhh, sweetheart. It’s okay. Whatever happened it’s okay”

You sob, gut wrenching sobs that make your mother want to shed a few tears herself.

You spend the night in your mother’s arms, crying until sleep finally catches up to you. It’s your mother who greets Armin and Mikasa the next day, whispering how you need more time before you’re ready to see them. Both quietly explain the situation to your mom and she promises to let them know as soon as you’re ready to see them.

“Honey”

You hug your blanket tighter around your body.

“It’s gonna be okay, sweetheart” she tries again, hugging you from behind “It was just a crush, it’ll be okay”

“It wasn’t a crush” you choke “Mom, I—I love him. I love him, mom”

Her eyes widen without your knowledge and she curses herself for not seeing it sooner. Of course it wasn’t a crush, at least not anymore.

The way you’d always cling to him since you were kids, the way you’d follow him everywhere, how you always helped him study so that he’d never fall behind, how you were at each of his basketball games screaming at the top of your lungs.

It may have started as a crush but you both had grown up, your feelings had grown too.

She should’ve seen it. You wouldn’t spend a whole night baking his favorite cake for his birthday when you could buy it just for a crush. You wouldn’t leave everything behind just to answer his call just for a crush. You wouldn’t be the first to clean his wounds after another of his stupid fights just for a crush.

You had fallen in love with him. With every part of him. Even the ones he, or anyone around him, was not proud of.

“Oh, honey” she soothes “It’ll be okay. You may not believe me, but you’ll be okay”

She sighs, holding you tighter.

“You’ll fall in love again” she promises “And it’ll be just as great and as painful as this time. But you’ll fall in love again”

“I don’t want this to hurt, mommy” you sob “Why does it have to hurt?”

“Because every feeling that made you go up has to come down sooner or later. Sweetie, the greater the love, the greater the pain. That’s the rule” she sighs “But it’ll be okay. You’re strong, you’ll get through this. You’re just one heartbreak closer to happily ever after, just have a little patience”

The next day, although still hurting, you get out of bed and answer Armin and Mikasa’s texts, asking them to come for a movie night. You ignored Eren’s.

JaegerBomb: Y/N you left homecoming early?? What happened?

JaegerBomb: You probably fell asleep. Text me when you wake up, doofus, got a lot to tell you.

JaegerBomb: Morning, sleeping beauty!!

JaegerBomb: Hey, I’m getting a little worried. U okay?

JaegerBomb; Y/N what’s going on?? Answer your phone.

JaegerBomb: I’m gonna file a missing person’s report!!

You hesitated before locking your phone. You weren’t going to answer. You couldn’t. Not because you were mad at him, you had no reason to be mad. You weren’t answering because you needed to move on. You couldn’t be there every time he texted anymore.

You had to stop being his person, cause you weren’t his.

Armin and Mikasa came to your house as planned and it was honestly what you had needed all that time. Having their shoulders to cry on was enough to mend your broken heart, at least a little. They made you laugh and smile in a way you didn’t think possible to do with the pain you felt.

You sometimes forgot that your life didn’t revolve around Eren. Being so used to always being at his side, to always call him whenever you were upset or happy, you’d sometimes forget that Mikasa and Armin always stood beside you through the path. Never once abandoning you. It was nice to be reminded of how much you still have, with how much your heart felt was losing.

Eren, meanwhile, was confused and worried. Carla, his mom, watched with a curious gaze as he paced back and forth in front of her, trying to argue with her about going to the police cause it wasn’t normal that you weren’t answering him.

“Eren, honey, she could be busy”

“No, mom, she always answers!” He almost screams “This is not normal! What if something happened to her? Mom, we have to go!”

It was truly an interesting sight. Eren who had grown up to hide his feelings behind a blank space was openly expressing his worry. Somehow you were always the one to let her catch a glimpse of her old sweet boy.

Carla sighs, “Can I at least call Y/M/N first? Just before you jump to conclusions?”

Eren grunts but nods. Carla sighs once more before grabbing her phone, dialing your mother’s number. Eren waits anxiously by her side, making her worry he’d run to the door any second with how fidgety he was.

“Hello. Carla?”

“Y/M/N! Hi! How are you?”

“Mom” Eren whines in a whisper, urging her to get to the point.

“Sorry to call, I just wanted to—”

A crash sounds through the phone, making both Jaeger’s jump.

“Y/N! What are you guys doing?” They hear your mom scream.

“Sorry, mom! I got scared and my bowl fell!”

Eren visibly relaxes in his place once your voice sounds through the phone. Carla eyes him with curiosity. He had his hand over his chest as if the relief of you not being in trouble was finally allowing him to breathe.

“Sorry, Carla. Y/N is watching some scary movie with Mikasa and Armin” she laughs “You know them, can never leave them unsupervised”

Eren straightens in his seat. Mikasa and Armin? You were with them?

He stopped listening to the conversation after that. Why weren’t you answering him? Since when did you text them before you texted him? Didn’t you know he’d worry? Even better, why didn’t you invite him? Didn’t you want him there?

That couldn’t be it. You never left his side. You were even more annoying than Mikasa when you were kids, always glued to his side. Although not as protective as the dark haired beauty, your presence was always clinging to his. That hadn’t changed throughout the years. You clung to him every step of the way. Always making sure to be at his side no matter what. Even when your grades were good enough to take higher classes, you stuck by him. Never going too fast, never going too slow; you always stood by him.

And he never pushed you away, not like he did with Mikasa. He never could.

He tries texting you again, thinking that maybe the texts hadn’t gone through. But he knows better. He just doesn’t want to know better.

When the weekend ends, Eren, for the first time ever, gets to school in time. Honestly, he just wanted to be there when you got there, not wanting to miss you by chance.

“Eren!” He hears Historia before she sees her “How was your weekend? I haven’t heard from you since the dance?”

“Huh?” Historia hugs him, but he’s too distracted scanning the hallway for you.

“Thank you so much” she smiles “I had a lot of fun. I was really sad Ymir couldn’t make it, but you help it be a fun night”

“Yeah. No problem”

Historia frowns confused, “You okay?”

“Have you seen Y/N?”

Historia tilts her head, “Yeah, she was by Calculus with Jea—woah! Where are you going?”

He’s out of her sight before she can even finish her sentence. All he could think about was seeing you.

He just didn’t expect to see you with Jean.

He stopped midway. His heart tightens as he sees you laugh happily because of something Jean just said. His fist clenches when he sees the way Jean is smiling at you.

He didn’t like the way Jean was looking at you.

The bell rings and he moves fast, scared to lose you from his sight, as you walk to your class. Imagine his surprise when he goes in to find you sitting with Jean. He frozed for a second. Was he still dreaming? You always sat with him. Always had. What was going on?

“Y/N?”

You look up from your notebook to see Eren looking like kicked puppy in front of you. He looked lost. Which was weird. Never had you ever seen that expression on his face.

Jean, who’s at you side, frowns in bewilderment. He didn’t remember the last time Eren had shown so much emotion.

“Eren” you whisper before smiling faintly “H-hi, I didn’t see you come in”

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

Your teacher comes in before he can open his mouth again and he soon is obligated to sit behind you with Marco.

His jaw clenches. He didn’t understand. Had he done something wrong? Why were you not sitting with him? Why even though you smiled at him did he feel you so distant? Why did it hurt him so much to see you smiling and whispering with Jean when he knows he is your friend?

He didn’t really pay attention to anything their teacher said, too lost in his own thoughts to even bother caring.

The bell rings and he jumps off his seat, but before he can catch you someone grabs his arm.

“Mikasa” he moves his arm but she doesn’t let him go “Mikasa, let go”

“Leave her alone, Eren”

He looks at her with no expression, though the girl for a second could see how his eyebrow twitched.

“I need to talk to her”

“Her world doesn’t revolve around you” she scoffs “So don’t act like it does”

“What do you mean?”

“Weren’t you just about to go ask her why she didn’t sit with you?” She raises a brow “She doesn’t have to be at your side 24/7”

He hates that she knows him so well. Hates even more that she is right. You don’t owe him anything, you can sit with whoever you want. So why did he felt the need for one?

He jerks his arm off Mikasa’s grip and scoffs. Maybe you just wanted to talk to Jean, things would go back to normal soon enough.

At lunch you didn’t say by him either, you sat in between Sasha and Mikasa. Laughing loudly while sharing your lunch with Braus. He naively waited for you to hand him the chocolate chip cookie you always made for him, yet this time you didn’t.

And it went on for two months.

He couldn’t handle it anymore. 62 days of agony waiting for you to turn to look at him first, just to never do it. 62 days of waiting hours before you text him back. 62 days of seeing you sit with everyone but him. 62 days of wondering if you’ll show up or not at his game. 62 days of being invited to movie nights at your house by Mikasa or Armin, never by you.

He couldn’t bare it anymore and it didn’t take long for his friends to notice. Emotionless and unbothered Eren Jaeger jumping out of his seat every single time you entered the room. Eren Jaeger who cannot stop clenching his fist and moving his leg when you haven’t made an appearance. Eren Jaeger who looks like a lost child every single time you don’t give him his attention.

They honestly grew tired of it.

“You need to talk to him”

You blink, confused, at Armin, “what?”

“It’s been two months, Y/N, and he looks like a kicked puppy. You need to talk to him”

“What am I supposed to say?”

“Just let him know you’re still friends. That you’re not mad at him” he sighs “Things don’t have to go back to how they were, but he deserves to know he did nothing wrong. He can’t stop pouting and, honestly, I feel kinda sorry for him”

You sigh. Armin is right, as always. It wasn’t fair for Eren, who is your best friend, to feel like he has done something wrong when he truly hasn’t. You needed to make things right. You needed to salvage your friendship with him.

That’s why you come to school the next day with a box of the homemade chocolate cupcakes he loves so much.

That’s why you stand in front of your school’s doors waiting for him to arrive.

Your heart clenches with how defeated he looks once he does. And when your eyes find one another, you can physically see the hope and relief that he feels.

“Y/N” he sighs.

“Eren” you smile “I, uh… I wanted to apologize. I know I’ve been a little distant lately and—”

“Why?” He begs “Why have you been distant?”

You open and close your mouth, your finger tightening around the box in your hands. You had to be honest. You had to voice what you had silenced for so long. That way you would be able to move on, that way he’d understand why you needed to keep him at arm’s length.

“I, uh, um… I sa-saw you and His-Historia at the dance” you clear your throat “It wasn’t your fault! I swear I’m not mad and I never was! It’s just—it just hurt… that’s why I needed space. I liked you and it hurt”

You sigh, and extend the box towards him before slightly bowing your head.

“I’m sorry!”

You stay with your head down for a few seconds. He doesn’t move nor answers and it makes you wonder if he is mad you didn’t just tell him sooner, if he thinks you’re immature for not talking to him before so he could understand.

You feel the box being taken from your hands and before you can react you feel him lower his body, making you stand straight. Yet his face still falls on your shoulder. You feel his body relax as soon as it comes in contact with yours, and you feel him breathe in relief once he can feel your lavender scent. You don’t move, you don’t know exactly what to do in that moment. Does this mean he understands? Does it mean he is not mad? Are you both okay?

“I missed you” he whispers “I missed you so much”

“I—I missed you too, Eren”

“Never do that again” he begs softly “Please. Never leave me again”

“I, uh—I won’t”

“It’s you, Y/N” he continues “It’s always been you”

Your heart beats loudly in your chest at the declaration, yet confusion follows.

“But Histo—?”

“Historia was just sad Ymir couldn’t make it to the dance” he explains softly “I went to help her forget about it for a while”

“Oh”

“It’s you, Y/N. Always has been, always will be” he continues “Promise not to give up on me? Please. I just—please, don’t leave me”

You find yourself wrapping your arms around him, and he hides his face on your neck with content and relief.

“I promise”

The next time your friends see you both, you’re no longer clinging to him. Instead, Eren has his arm around your shoulders, holding you close to him. And, for the first time in a long time, he is smiling. That boyish smile they had all missed.

Your mom had been right. It was just one heartbreak before your happily ever after. She just didn’t know it would be the same person who’d mend it.

You just had to have a little patience.

they’re eternally my roman empire

*RELATIONSHIP STATUS: SIMPING FOR MR. GILLESPIE*

I’m currently writing a Luke Patterson x Reader One Shot about soulmates, but I was wondering if you guys had any requests for one shots that you’d like :)

I’m new to Tumblr so I don’t know how much of it works, but if you have any requests just be sure to let me know. It can be any Julie and the Phantoms (cast or character) x Reader you may have.

Ghost Out! :)

Your Biggest Fan | L.P.

Pairings: Alive!Luke Patterson x Alive!Reader

Summary: An obsession that became a friendship and flourished to love. That’s the story between Sunset Curve’s lead singer and guitarist Luke Patterson and Y/N Y/L/N.

| MASTERLIST |

Sunset Curve was the boy band of the moment. Luke, Alex, Reggie, and Bobby were everyone’s dream boys. What started as a small band playing on the garage of their best friend, Julie Molina, ended up with millions of fans all over the world as they tour it.

It started as a dream and a small group of friends. Julie helping the boys with the band management while Carrie Wilson, Bobby’s rich cousin, designed all their outfits. It had been the six of them at the start.

But their fame grew and things were asked of them. The boys soon started homeschooling and Julie’s mom, Rose, took over the management of the band.

Julie and Carrie stayed behind as the boys grew busier and that’s when they met Flynn and Y/N.

The four of them became best friends in no time and soon they stopped missing the boys. They chatted from time to time with them but they were okay with them not being there.

Of course, Y/N and Flynn had no idea that the two teenagers were Sunset Curve’s best friends. It had been a silent agreement between Carrie and Julie that they didn’t need to know, especially since Y/N was probably their biggest fan.

Not the normal ‘I love you’ kinda fan but the ‘I’ll kidnap you’ kind. It was okay, they thought it was hilarious but it was definitely better if she didn’t know.

But soon the girls found themselves in their junior year of high school with the news that Sunset Curve was coming back to LA and to Los Feliz High School.

Carrie and Julie walked with dread around the hallways of their school as soon as they received the call from Carrie’s father, Trevor Wilson, stating that the tours had been paused so that the boys could have their last year of high school with the full experience.

They were gonna spend their senior year with them at their high school. As much as the girls like the idea, they dreaded it. But it was happening.

“JULIE! CARRIE!”

The yell of Y/N had both girls flinching as they knew the reason behind the excited scream and the smiling Y/N pulling an annoyed Flynn across the hallway towards them.

“Did you hear?! Do you know?! Can you believe it?! This is so exciting!! We’ll meet, it’ll be love at first sight!! I cannot believe it!! It’s destiny! This is the—”

“Y/N! Honey, I love you but you need to calm down” Carrie cuts her off.

“We need to tell you something” Julie starts while sharing a look with her blonde friend, “We actually kno—”

“CARRIE!/JULIE!”

The scream of the girls’ names has everybody in the hallways turning their gazes towards the sources, everybody gasping as they see the boys of Sunset Curve in all their glory.

Y/N let’s out a strangled scream as she sees them running towards two of her best friends with huge smiles.

Carrie and Julie share a worried glance before looking at Flynn, the braided girl grabbing the fangirl from her shoulders to keep her in her place.

Soon, the boys find themselves by the four girls’ sides and Y/N feels her legs shake as they hug Julie and Carrie.

“It’s been so long, we have missed you!” Exclaims Reggie while holding Carrie’s stare a while longer than necessary.

The six of them start catching up and it takes a while before they notice the other two girls, but Alex does and soon acknowledges them.

“Hey, I’m Alex”

Y/N’s legs give out and soon Flynn is catching her with a groan, Carrie and Julie looking at their friend in worry.

“Um... this is Flynn and this—”

“OH MY GO—”

Flynn covers Y/N’s mouth with an apologetic smile before leaving with her, despite Y/N’s efforts to stay.

Julie smiles at the boys, “That is Y/N. Our best friends”

“She is a huge fan” Carrie adds.

The boys laugh a little weirded out before proceeding to catch up with the girls they saw as family.

As the days passed, things started finding its way. Carrie once again started making the outfits for the boys and Julie now took over songwriting with Luke.

Y/N, on the other hand, kept going as she always did. She daily updated her Sunset Curve fan club blog, now with better content thanks to actually knowing the boys, as well as followed them around as much as she could.

Things didn’t change too much on her but her friendship with the boys grew. Thanks to being one of Julie’s best friends, Y/N spend most of her time at the Molina’s house and so did the boys.

Movie nights happened a lot and Y/N didn’t faint anymore at the sight of them.

So it got better. But she was still crazy about them and it showed whenever they didn’t give her enough time to control her emotions before going near her.

“Hey, Y/N/N”

A shriek leaves the h/c haired girl before her pretty e/c eyes turn to Luke. All sleeveless-beanie-vans Luke.

“Uh—I.wh—Hi”

If the brown-haired guitarist noticed her stutter, he didn’t mention it. Instead he turns his phone towards her showing her a photo of him while on tour.

“I want to post this on Instagram. Is it good enough?”

One thing the boys had noticed as soon as they got to know the girl was that she was a talented photographer, meaning she had an eye to know which pictures were the best ones.

So, they always asked her before posting something and sometimes even let her post from their accounts.

“I—Uh...”

Y/N stares at the photo intently, choosing to focus on that instead than on the pretty looking teenager in front of her.

“May I?”

The lead singer nods and soon the new iPhone is on her shaking hands. Y/N takes a deep breath before starting to edit the photo as she sees best, making sure to not make it look photoshop but to make it look better.

Once she is satisfied with the results, Y/N holds the phone towards Luke who takes it eagerly. A smile takes over his features once he sees the final result.

“This is perfect. You’re the best”

Whatever Y/N was gonna say is quite down by Luke’s soft kiss on her cheek, the boy leaving without knowing what he had caused on the petite teenager.

Carrie, who was on the locker across from the scene, walks towards her best friend with a knowing smirk.

“You’re gonna faint, aren’t you?”

Y/N nods before letting herself fall, Carrie catching her with a small laugh.

For most of that school year the boys saw Y/N as the girls’ best friend and a fan, but not really as a friend. They didn’t really know her.

But after half of the school year they each got to have their fair share of moments with the young girl.

For Reggie it was in one of his darkest moments. The leather jacket lover was being surrounded by a bunch of fans on a trip alone to the beach, it would’ve been okay any day but that day was the anniversary of his parents’ divorce and he couldn’t take it.

So he ran. He ran as far and as fast as he could from them without noticing the curious glance of e/c eyes, without noticing the one person who didn’t stop following him.

He stopped until he thought he was alone and hid from sight, breath short and heart plummeting in his chest. He stopped because his chest started to hurt and his vision became blurry. It soon became harder to breathe and the weight of his body became too much.

He felt his legs give in but before he could fall soft arms went around his waist helping him sit down softly.

He couldn’t see who was the person helping him but he could hear —barely— the soft murmurs on his ear. Was it singing? He didn’t know but it helped soon calm his racing heart allowing him to breathe better.

He didn’t know how much time passed before his vision cleared up and the feeling of suffocation subsided, but it did and he finally saw his holder.

“Y—Y/N?”

The boy’s voice sounded softly, like a whisper, and weak. It was as if he had been lost and had finally found his way home.

“It’s okay, Reg, it’s okay” she softly states, “You had a panic attack but it’s okay now”

Reggie nods slowly before hugging her closer, needing the feeling of loneliness to subside too. And it did. Because she was there.

She didn’t have to be but she was.

They spent a lot of time there just sitting together and talking about random things, never did Y/N burdened him as she normally did and she didn’t questioned him on the reason behind the attack.

All she did was offer a shoulder and a distraction, and that meant the world.

That’s why when Reggie got to the apartment he shares with the other boys he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

“Reggie!” Exclaims Luke before hugging him, “Where were you man? We were worried”

Alex and Bobby take their turns hugging the bass player before looking him over for any sign of injuries.

“I am okay, I was with a friend”

After that Reggie always sat by Y/N’s side in class, helped with anything he could for the blog she constantly worked on, and —sometimes— went to the beach with her.

It helped Y/N’s fangirl side control itself, especially since she started seeing him mainly as a friend.

Bobby’s realization of the value of her friendship was different. It happened after a concert the band had in a small cafe on the neighborhood, they were trying to get back to their roots.

The rest of the guys were surrounded by screaming fans as soon as they got off stage. Him, on the other hand, was ignored as usual.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t good looking nor the lack of talent. He just didn’t shine as much as Luke, Reggie, or Alex. And it was okay most of the time, but that night he really felt left out and angry.

At least he did until he saw Y/N in front of him.

“Luke’s over there”

A blush soon covers the teenager’s cheeks causing Bobby to smirk. It was not secret which band member was the one that could make the girl’s cheeks turn a crimson color.

Y/N shakes her head and soon straightens her Sunset Curve crop top before clearing her throat.

“I was... uh—Could I have an interview?”

Bobby furrows his eyebrows, “Wouldn’t you rather interview Luke?”

Confusion settles on the small girl’s face as soon as the words leave the rhythm guitarist’s mouth.

“I thought... did you write the music for this set list?”

He nods and she smiles.

“Then I don’t want to talk to Luke, he gets enough praise already” she assures him “I’m more interested in the process of the making of the melody, can you answer some questions?”

He nods again and soon she starts questioning him, he answers her while watching her in shock. No one had ever minded nor acknowledged his part in the songs.

Y/N did. And every question she asked demonstrated she knew of every single one of his contributions.

She must’ve noticed his demeanor because she put her things away and to smile sweetly at him.

“I’m not the only one that knows what you do, Bobby” she states “Sunset Curve wouldn’t be Sunset Curve without you”

That’s all it took for Y/N to have Bobby by her side, sitting by her every class he could with Reggie. The girl being a stuttering mess at the start but soon finding ways to converse with both rockstars.

Bobby considered her a friend. A friend not because she was family, like Carrie, nor because she was Luke’s best friend, Julie. A friend because she saw him, she saw his value.

He had never been enough but whenever she talked with him about the band with that glint in her eyes he saw he was.

For Alex it was in an entire different environment. The h/c haired beauty saw the blond drummer on an LGBTQ+ parade, both surprised to see the other one there.

The drummer started stuttering trying to find a way to explain the reason why he was there when Y/N just smiled and told her she was bisexual. She even joked about a small fling she had with Julie during their sophomore year.

Alex smiled in relief when she didn’t question him and instead offered to join her as her support. She was giving him the perfect excuse for his presence there, acknowledging he was not ready to voice the truth.

“Thank you” he finally says.

All she does is smile before grabbing his hand and taking him to a group of skaters, mainly towards a long brown-haired on with a rainbow colored skateboard.

“Hey, Willie! I want you to meet a friend of mine”

The three of them talked until morning about their feelings. About how hiding the truth felt like drowning, like living a life that wasn’t theirs to live.

It was like a breath of fresh air for Alex. Talking to someone who understood, someone who had been through their own experiences, it made him realize that his parents’ approval wasn’t worth not being happy.

And happy is what he was choosing to be, especially after Willie gave him his number with a kiss to his cheek.

He walked Y/N to her house in silence after. Both of them with soft smiles on their faces.

“I just don’t want anyone to change the way they see me” he admits “I’m still me”

“You’re still you” She agrees and he nods “Nothing changes, Alex. I still have a crush on you, I just now know I have zero chance”

He laughs, vivid and happily, before hugging her tightly. Next Monday, Alex and Y/N spent most of their time together gossiping about every latest news the teenager girl had.

The girl still froze at first contact with either of the boys but after a while she could hold on normal conversations.

With Luke it was different.

Luke had been writing on Julie’s garage the next song for Sunset Curve, the one he had been having trouble with for the last week, when Y/N ran into the studio.

“I’m here, Julie! You ready for Calcul—AAAHHHH!”

Luke’s hands fly to his ears as he hears the girl’s loud scream. Y/N only stopping when she feels her lungs give in.

“Uh—Wh—I jus—Julie?”

He chuckles while closing his songbook, “Jules is not here. Left to go get Carlos from his baseball practice”

“Oh”

An uncomfortable silence soon settles between them, a silence cut off as soon as the sound of the teenager’s phone taking a photo makes them both look at one another.

“Oh... Oh! Thought I had it in silence” she laughs awkwardly “It’s... uh, for the blog”

He nods with an awkward laugh before opening his songbook once again. He had better things to concentrate on than Julie’s best friend.

Don’t get him wrong, he liked her. He thought she was funny and nice but she was just too much sometimes and he couldn’t handle it. Especially not now when he had a song to worry about.

“What are you doing?”

Her question has him gazing at her for a moment before settling once again in his unfinished lyrics.

“Just writing a new song”

An excited squeal leaves the h/c haired girl and soon Y/N is by his side reading his lyrics through his shoulder.

He shudders once he feels her breath in his neck and he soon turns to look at her, admiring her features as she reads the lyrics carefully.

“What if you... scoot over”

She doesn’t let him answer and is soon pushing him to sit besides him on the piano’s bench, ignoring his protests.

He is about to ask her to let him be when her fingers starts moving through the keys, the melody he had thought for the song —the one written on his songbook— was playing through the studio.

With some little —yet good— changes.

“A piano intro would be great. And then...” she explains before starting to sing softly, “Sometimes I think I'm falling down, I wanna cry, I'm calling out for one more try to feel alive”

Luke’s eyes widen as he hears her soft but powerful voice. He didn’t know she could play, much less sing.

And, wow, she could sing.

“And when I feel lost and alone I know that I can make it home....”

She stopped singing as she saw the empty space on the verse and just as Luke was about to explain the lack of progress she started playing once again.

“Fight through the dark and find the spark. Life is a risk, but I will take it”

“Close my eyes and jump” he adds as she stops, “Together, I think that we can make it”

They look at one another before harmonizing together the end of the verse that he had written down, “Come on, let's run”

She stops playing with a huge smile and both laugh in excitement, both slowly stop laughing without tearing their gazes apart.

A soft blush soon taking over Y/N’s features as she sees the way he gazes at her as if trying to figure her out, which he was. How come he didn’t know she could write, sing, and play like that? How come he didn’t actually know her?

The moment, though, is interrupted as Julie walks through the doors of the garage apologizing to Y/N for being late and then taking her to her room.

Never noticing the curious and amazed expression on the guitarist’s face.

Soon the four members of Sunset Curve were in awe of the obsessive fan who annoyed them as much as she could, soon she didn’t truly annoyed them.

The rest of the boys’ senior year was spent amazingly with the girls, but the year ended and the boys had to go back to prioritizing their band while the girls did their senior year.

They all FaceTimed a lot. They tried to stay in contact as much as possible during that year, especially Carrie and Reggie —since they started dating a few months before the boys graduated—, but they were all pretty busy. Even Y/N who was still daily updating the band’s blog.

Experiences happened, lessons were learned, the girls grew and soon they graduated.

Everything changed.

That was the first thing Luke and the boys noticed when the girls moved in with them at their mansion to help with the band while they also attended college.

Everything had changed.

For starters, Julie and Flynn were now in relationships. Julie was dating a boy named Nick and Flynn a girl named Kayla, they both met them during the end of their senior year and had been together since.

Carrie, also, was now wearing her hair shoulder-length and straight instead of the long blonde waves she used to rock before. And she was now doing an internship of a famous designer’s brand that Luke didn’t know the name of.

But who had surprised the four of them the most was Y/N. The girl who the first three months they met her couldn’t stop herself from throwing herself at Luke. The girl who never once started a conversation with them without a stutter. The girl who was the president of their fan club. The girl to used to silently follow them around and admire them.

That girl was gone.

Instead Y/N had seen them, smiled, hugged them as a normal friend would, and left with the girls to get settled.

No screaming, no blushing, no overload of excitement.

Totally normal.

In worry, the boys had cornered Julie as soon as she had left her room to start questioning her on the abnormality. Julie laughing as soon as she sees the worry in their eyes.

“She’s no longer the teenager you met, guys. She still loved your music but she’s over you” she chuckles “She’s okay. She’s even dating now instead of waiting around for one of you”

The boys look towards one another in disbelief, Luke’s face falling a little after Julie’s words. She was over him? Why wasn’t he happy about it when that’s all he had wanted since he met her?

The answer to his question was answer soon.

Her being able to talk to them without fainting meant she spent more time with them. It meant she was spending more time with Luke.

Both of them would spend most of their nights on the music studio in the boys’ mansion writing songs and making melodies. They would play around in every break and they would laugh as loud as their voices allowed them to.

It was new to Luke. Being that comfortable with someone that wasn’t the boys or Julie and Carrie, being that comfortable and at peace with someone he met after he gained fame.

He didn’t connect with people as much as he used to since his life changed.

But he connected with her. He had connected with her since that afternoon at Julie’s garage when she showed him a part of her she never really showed.

And he never wanted to stop connecting with her.

That is why when they all went to the beach together he spent most of his time by her side, he loved the random conversations they could make and the way she would scrunch her nose while she laughed.

He didn’t understand what he was feeling until he went to play volleyball with the boys and turned around to catch a boy talking with her.

A handsome stranger that was making her laugh in the cute way only she knew how.

His fists clenched by his sides and soon he was standing besides her, stretching said guy’s hand and telling him all about her obsessive behavior during her junior year.

He hadn’t meant to be mean or to talk about her as if she was a crazy teenager who shouldn’t be trusted. But that’s what he sounded like.

Because he was jealous.

He hadn’t realized he was until he had already scared the boy off only to turn around and find Y/N on the verge of tears.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. He’s a douche”

“No! You’re the douche!” She takes a step away from him with teary eyes, “Is that how you saw me? A stupid little stalker who couldn’t get over her obsessive crush?”

He stays quiet as he sees the way her beautiful e/c eyes shine with hurt.

“Well, guess what? I’m not stupid anymore because I finally realized the awful mistake that was crushing over you to begin with! I’m over you!”

With those words, Y/N ran off not noticing the stares of her friends as she left. Carrie and Flynn soon running after her while Julie stayed behind with the boys to question his actions.

Actions he couldn’t actually excused. He was jealous and he had hurt her because of that and it wasn’t fair. She didn’t deserve it.

“Luke... how long have you liked her?”

Julie’s question had the green-eyed boy looking at her with surprise before realization settles on him.

He likes her. He’d maybe even go as far as say he was falling in love with her.

“I... I think since that day at your garage”

Julie stares at him in confusion not knowing what time he was talking about but he knew. And that’s all it took for him to grab the curly-haired girl’s hand and ran off with her.

Reggie, Bobby, and Alex scream at him questions at his sudden actions —even Julie does as she is being pulled— but he doesn’t bother answering.

All the answer he gives is pulling out his songbook, Julie’s eyes widening as she realizes what he is planning.

The only way Luke knew to truly express himself was through music and that was what he was going to do. He was going to express his feelings for Y/N through a song.

It took exactly three days to finish the song. Three days in which Y/N spent most of her time in her bedroom trying to avoid running into Luke.

That's why she knew she couldn't do much about Julie coming to get her that day, urging her to get out of her room.

"I'm doing homework, Jules"

"You have more than enough time late" She argues back, "Move, now!"

Her papers are snatched out of her hands by Julie making her scoff, but one look at Julie's brown eyes and she knew she couldn't fight her on this.

With a sigh, Y/N stands up from her seat to follow the curly-haired girl out of her room to the pool.

There they find Carrie and Flynn waiting for them and soon the four best friends start chatting. Bobby, Alex, and Reggie joining them soon. Neither expected the music that started playing through the mansion's speakers.

Everyone looked towards one another in confusion except Julie and Reggie, who smiled at one another as they moved to sit together. The leather jacket boy had been explained everything as soon as Luke thought the melody needed two voices to harmonize with his.

Soon the music is joined by the sound of an acoustic guitar and Luke walks through the door and into view.

Y/N's face shows how confused she feels while all the others start smiling excitedly. Sentiments that grow as Luke starts singing.

“I never thought I would, did it

Never thought I could

I did it like that, did it like this

Did it like everybody knows"

He starts walking towards her with a shy smile, the meaning of the lyrics have his palms sweating and his heart racing.

"That we got something real, shorty

I know what I feel

So shout it like that

Shout it like this

Listen up, everybody knows

But you, so here it goes"

Before he is close enough to hear her, Y/N turns her face towards Carrie with a small smile full of disbelief.

"He likes me"

It's a statement and Carrie knows that, yet the blonde beauty still smiles happily while nodding before moving to sit by Reggie's other side.

"'Cause I never really noticed

Took a while for me to see

Playing back the moments

Now I'm starting to believe

That you could be at the show and know every word

But it's you who makes me sing"

Luke kneels in front of her giving her his best smile, a smile she returns sweetly.

Alex smiling alongside Flynn in excitement because of the scene that was unfolding in front of all of them.

"And I know where we are and I know who I am

Baby, I'm your biggest fan, oh"

Luke stares into her e/c eyes, remembering the first time they met and the way he had been weirded out by her internal fangirl moment. But then, somehow, things changed. One day he just didn't see her as that weird girl anymore.

"Every time you smile for me

Takes me a while to bring myself back

'Cause you're all that

And I just had to let you know"

Y/N stares at his bright green eyes remembering the first time he met the real him, not the one she met through her phone's screen but the real with imperfections him.

"That I'm screaming out in the crowd for you

I can't be too loud but I don't care

I let 'em all stare

I just want everyone to know

The truth, it's only you"

Carrie and Reggie share a look full of love, both remembering when they were just best friends and how hard it had been for the both of them to finally admit their feelings for one another.

"I never really noticed

Took a while for me to see

Playing back the moments

Now I'm starting to believe"

Alex smiles as he sees the huge smile on Y/N's face. To think that a year ago she had been the one to introduce him to Willie, who was now his boyfriend, and now she was here being serenading by one of his best friends, his brother even.

"That you could be at the show and know every word

But it's you who makes me sing

We may not know where we are but I know who I am

Baby, I'm your biggest fan"

Luke's playing falters as does his confidence, which everybody notices. Everybody around them soon screaming words of encouragement.

"Don't stop now, Luke"

"Yeah, sing it!" adds Reggie after Julie.

Luke looks unsure but one look at Y/N's hopeful face has him continuing the song. By rapping much to everyone's surprise.

"You showed up and you looked so classy

Made me think twice 'bout the way I was acting

You were real from the start of it all

Like a dream came to life, now I'm left in all"

A blush soon covers Y/N features and her face soon go to cover her face as her smiles becomes too big to hide.

Her all-time crush was seranading her a song that confessed his feelings for her, this had to be a dream. What were the odds?

"A stars shine but your light is the brightest

Love flies but your love is the highest

You're so sweet that it drives me crazy

A summer like no other, you're my L.A. baby"

Flynn joins Julie in snapping her fingers to the rhythm as the curly-haired girl keeps singing harmonies with Reggie for the brunette rockstar. Alex and Bobby soon joining in.

"I never really noticed

It took a while for me to see

(took a while for me to see)"

Everybody smiles as they see both of their friends stare at one another with so much love. This had been coming for a long time, they all knew it.

They knew it since the small talks became lingering gazes between one another.

"Playing back the moments

Now I'm starting to believe

(starting to believe)"

He couldn't believe he was actually as lucky as he was. He was falling for a talented and passionate girl who wasn't ashamed to let everyone know what she thought and felt.

He just hoped he was lucky enough to have her love him back, because if she said she felt the same he knew it wouldn't be because he was Luke Patterson, Sunset Curve's lead singer, but because he was Luke, the guy she wrote songs with from time to time.

"That you could be at the show and know every word

But it's you who makes me sing

And I know where we are and I know who I am

(I know who I am)"

Y/N lowers her gaze as she feels her eyes get a little teary with emotion. Having heard the words he had said about her the other day had hurt her deeply, but now he was letting her know exactly what he felt.

He was letting her see his soul. He was being vulnerable with her. He was telling she was worth being vulnerable.

"Baby, I'm your biggest fan, oh

Baby, I'm your biggest fan, oh"

As the song comes to its end, Y/N wipes the smile from her face to stare at her with a curious gaze. She knew how he felt but she still wanted him to actually say it.

"'Cause you could be at the show and know every word

But it's you who makes me sing

We may not know where we are but I know who I am

Baby, I'm your biggest fan”

Silence takes over all of them, Y/N raising her eyebrow to let Luke know she was expecting more than just a song.

"Oh!" He exclaims before proceeding to get rid of the guitar.

Reggie reaches for it before hurrying him to speak making Y/N let out a small laugh at the sight before becoming serious once again.

"I... Ju-I want you to know... Y/N, I..."

She looks at him with furrowed eyebrows as he stares at his hands for a moment to gather his thoughts.

Finally, he grabs her hands in his before staring into her eyes. Green and e/c meeting with many emotions swirling through them.

"I like you, Y/N. I have for a while, but I do" He states, "I like the way you scrunch your nose when you laugh, the way you can't stop yourself from singing along to all of our songs, how you always go out of your way to help the people you care about, I..."

He takes a deep breath, "Even the moments when you acted all crazy, I love those moments. Heck, I think I may love you. I just want to-"

Y/N's right hand finds her way to Luke's mouth, a smile overtaking her features while a deep crimson resides on her cheeks.

"Take me on a date first, okay?" he nods silently, "But, uh, I think I may love you too. And not Luke Patterson, I think I may love Luke"

That's all he need to hear before hugging her close to him as his friends cheer them on. He would take her on a date and they would see how things moved on from there.

But for now this was enough. They were each other's biggest fan.

You’re Losing Me

Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Reader

Summary: Is love truly enough? Enough to stick around even when you feel yourself slowly dying from it? Can it truly ever be enough?

| Masterlist |

She couldn’t breathe. She could feel her lungs pushing against her ribcage while looking for the oxygen they begged to inhale. Her heart throbbed against them, looking for any sign —no matter if it was painful— to remind itself that it still lived. That it could still beat.

She didn’t think she could blame her heart for the need to make sure it could still beat, not after the words she had just uttered to the reason it had been beating so harmoniously for so long.

“We’re done”

She didn’t even know she had said it until she saw his eyes widen in disbelief. She didn’t even know she’d ever truly have the courage to say it out loud.

But she had. It was done.

“What—why? Y/N, baby, what’s—I don’t understand”

Hurt. That’s all she could see on those blue-green eyes she had always found comfort in. Those who had always looked at her with so much love it had been unbelievable. Those eyes who lately hadn’t shined in her direction even once.

She could hear her pulse all throughout her body. She could hear it as loudly as if her heart had been pressed against her ears.

Could she truly say it again? Could she be brave—strong enough to utter those painful words one more time? Did she really have to?

“We’re… we’re done, Eren” she weakly whispers.

It pained her, of course. It truly felt as if she was forced to talk after swallowing glass, her throat and mouth filled with blood that stopped her from formulating the words as loud as she should’ve.

Eren shook his head in disbelief. Everything in his body felt numb. It felt as if someone had thrown a cold bucket of water at him and left him outside during winter with not even a jacket to give him a sense of warmth. This couldn’t be happening. He didn’t understand why it was happening.

“I don’t understand” he whispers weakly “I don’t… Y/N, please…”

“The fact th-that you don’t understand” she sobs weakly, the tears she had fought so hard to contain flowing freely down her cheeks, “Is even mor-more reason why we must bre-break up”

“Did I do something?” He asks, tears accumulating in his eyes “What did I do? I ca-will fix it”

She wanted him to stop. She didn’t want to hear him.

All this time she had been wanting him to fix what he had broken. All this time she had been waiting for him to realize that he was hurting her. That loving him was killing her. All this time she wanted him to give her one reason to stay.

And all this time he hadn’t.

“You can’t fix it”

Her voice once soft and weak became hard and pained. All the hurt she had to endure this last year coming back full force, giving her the strength she needed to save herself from self destructing. The strength she needed to not give in.

“It’s too late to fix it” she finalizes “I’ve been waiting all this year for you to fix it. I’m done waiting”

“Y/N—”

“Do you know how hard it was to watch you push everyone, including me, away?” She sobs “How hard it was to watch you shamelessly flirt with every girl that looked your way while I was right there at your side waiting for you to notice me? How hard it was to see you shrug off our relationship, our friendship, as if it was nothing?”

Eren’s eyes widen even more, if possible. Had he truly been doing that? He knew he had change, he knew he had closed off on his friends after his parents passing, but they had never once left his side. She had never left his side. No matter how hard he pushed. Or how cruel he was.

And then last year he had gotten his shit together. She had helped him with that. He had pushed all his pain onto something productive and had become the university’s star quarterback.

Is that when it all started? When his dull grief-striking eyes and neutral face had become the bad boy mysterious persona every girl wanted to date and every boy wanted to be. Was it then when he decided to play along to all of it just to not feel alone, to feel worthy, forgetting what he truly had always had by his side?

Had it really come to this? Had he really taken for granted what he had by believing he always would have it?

“We—I would’ve stayed with you through anything” she continues “I stayed through everything. No matter how bad it was. But… I’m out of reasons to stay”

“I love you”

Three words. Three words he had never once uttered in that year. Three words she had remembered herself those 365 days to keep fighting.

Those three words had already lost its meaning.

“Loving isn’t enough anymore”

And she turned around going for the door. He scrambled out of the bed he had been sitting while looking up at her as fast as he could.

She couldn’t leave. If she left it became real. If she left he wouldn’t be able to fix what he had broken.

Had he really broken the best thing that had happened to him? The one thing in his life that still gave him hope?

He tried to grasp her hand, to stop her from leaving, but she had already opened the door and crossed it. His hand met the wooden frame as her body started making her way through the hallway, away from his dorm.

How had it come to this?

It had been a year after Eren’s parents death through a tragic car accident. A year since Zeke, Eren’s older half-brother, had taken his custody. It had been a hard year. Eren’s eyes had lost its incomparable spark and his smile had ceased to exist.

Mikasa, Armin and Y/N, his closets friends since childhood, along with the rest of their gang had done everything they could to help him. Even when he snapped at them, spitting cruel words that fed into their insecurities, they never left his side. He pushed and pushed with all his might, anything to keep them away in fear of ever feeling the tightness in his chest of losing someone he loved again. But they pushed back. All of them. Never once giving in.

They knew he was hurting. They knew it. And they would never leave his side while he did so.

So they stuck around no matter how hurt they got along the way. Because it was Eren, and Eren deserved to have people fight for him as hard as he used to fight for them.

Y/N became the best fighter among them.

She would take his cruel malicious words with grace before embracing him against her warmth, letting him let out all his anger and sadness on her. Promising to carry it on her shoulders in hopes of lifting some from his, as small as the portion was.

And day by day, night by night, she stood tall by his side. Never once letting him fall.

He was thankful, even when he didn’t voice it. She had giving him something constant, something he could hold onto when the waves that came crashing towards him in hopes of drowning him got to him. She kept her hold steady and unfaltering, keeping him afloat.

So, when had he started taking it for granted?

“Eren Jaeger, isn’t it?”

He had been waiting outside the Economics classroom for Y/N’s class to finish so they could go have lunch when the captain of the cheerleading squad Historia was a part of first spoke to him.

It wasn’t that people didn’t know him around university, they did with him being the quarterback, he just wasn’t someone that you would think was easy to approach. So people normally didn’t. Not that he minded, he had all he needed with his friends and you by his side.

He nods, coldly.

But she smiled. As brightly as possible, her hazel eyes shining under the hallway’s lights.

“Last week’s game was amazing! You were so fast, it seemed nobody could ever come close to catching you” she giggled.

His cold demeanor melted slightly, not used to compliments from other than his coach and friends. Most people just clapped him on the back as a way to congratulate him, too afraid to say something to him.

He nods again in thanks.

“We, the cheer girls and the team’s boys, were thinking of holding a small get-together to celebrate the win” she continues “We’d like you to come. We know you don’t like those sceneries, as you’ve made clear before, but Connie and Jean are going. Reiner and Bertolt too”

He stays quiet.

“Just wanted to formally invite you. Hopefully the rest of your teammates going, the ones you’re actually close with, persuades you”

Before Eren can refuse, the bell rings and the door he was standing beside bursts open. Students cross it without even batting an eye.

Eren’s eyes soften once he catches a glance of you and the bright sincere smile you send his way when you see him. All under the cheerleading’s watchful curious gaze.

“Ren” you kissed his cheek before looking at the girl he was talking to, “Chloe! Hi! I haven’t seen you in a while, still battling with Calculus?”

The blonde girl, Chloe, groans, “Ugh, Mr. Ackerman is still the worst”

Both girls share a laugh under Eren’s curious gaze. Did they known each other? For the laugh you just shared and the familiarity in which you talked with one another he guessed you did. How? He guessed that through a class since he hadn’t ever seen you hang out with other girls that weren’t Mikasa, Sasha, Historia or Ymir.

“You know each other?”

His voice is cold and dull, but his gaze on you is soft. So soft that Chloe isn’t sure she imagined it. She didn’t know he could have a gaze as soft as that with the cold lifeless way he glared at everything around him.

And yet, Y/N smiled as if he had just told her she was the most beautiful girl to ever exist.

“We do! We met during Ackerman’s Calculus class last semester”

“This little genius became our teacher’s favorite while I am stuck with him once more” the blonde beauty groaned.

“You’ll get it this time. I can help you”

That’s something he had always loved about you. The selfless way you tried to help everyone in every little way you could.

“You’re an angel, Y/N” she smiles “How do you two know each other?”

Y/N’s smile brightened if possible, “This is my adorable boyfriend that I’ve told you about”

Chloe’s eyes widen in disbelief, “Eren Jaeger is the all-loving charismatic too-good-to-be-true childhood best friend told lover you’ve told me about?”

You laughed before nodding making Chloe’s eyes widen even more.

For Y/N, Chloe’s face was funny and innocent. Eren, on the other hand, understood the gleam of uncertainty in the blonde’s eyes. It was obvious she was trying to comprehend how the perfect boyfriend you had describe was the university’s feared lifeless bad boy.

It made him angry to feel as if he wasn’t worthy of you, he already thought so himself so seeing someone else think that made his blood boil.

He wanted to prove to everyone and to himself that he was worth it, that he could be worthy of you. So he did the one thing that condemned you both without even knowing it.

“When’s the party?”

The party had been eventful and unexpected. None of their friends had expected Eren and neither had they expected the way he had behaved that night. He had drank and talked, and even though he hadn’t laughed or smiled he had become this unapproachable guy that now everyone wanted to approach.

His aura was intoxicating. And like a moth to the flame, everyone would fly towards him as if he was holding the matches.

Mikasa, Armin and Y/N had watch with uncertainty the amount of attention Eren was receiving. But moreover, the way he seemed to be bathing in it. It was a weird sight. Eren had never been one to want attention, he always got it without looking for it though. But he had never seek it.

So why was he seeking and bathing in it now?

“Well…” started Armin “At least he seems okay”

Y/N nodded a little uncertain, but Mikasa frowned.

“I don’t like this” she muttered “Feels like the start of a disaster”

“Don’t frown, Mika” Y/N said lovingly, “Maybe this is what he needs to open up more. He’s been getting better, so maybe… maybe this is his way of trying to go back to who he is”

“I don’t know”

“We have to trust him” Armin added, “It’s not like he’s doing anything bad anyway, he’s just making friends”

Mikasa’s frown deepened but she let herself be guided out of the living room towards the kitchen by her two closest friends. She had a bad feeling about all of this, she just hoped she was wrong.

But they had all come to know a long time ago that Mikasa’s instincts were never wrong. Especially concerning Eren.

The first time they realize that something was wrong was during their monthly movie night between the Scouts, as they like to call themselves since their camp days where all they met and became friends. It was that night that Eren first truly disappointed them.

[ Can’t make it. Party at Floch’s. Srry ]

That’s all his text to the group chat had said. Not only had he totally blown them off on their tradition, but he hadn’t even bother to invite them. It was maddening. Especially since Connie and Jean were also invited to said party and refused to go because of their plans.

It weirded them all out. If they had invited Reiner and Bertolt and they cancelled they could’ve understood, they were close but not that close.

It had always been Armin, Mikasa, Eren and Y/N until camp. And then it had become Armin, Mikasa, Eren, Y/N, Jean, Connie, and Sasha. More had been added along the way, but the seven of them were as tight as possible. Nothing could ever come in their way, so why did it suddenly feel like something could?

They spent their movie night in an uncomfortable silence. Not even Jean, who always took every opportunity he could to insult Eren, said something.

And then one movie night missed became two and three until they just stopped expecting him to come.

At university, Eren barely found them to spend time with them during his breaks or lunch as they were used to. Instead they were forced to look for him all throughout the campus, always finding him surrounded by other team members or cheerleaders.

And even then, Armin and Y/N tried to convince themselves this was just him trying to become socially available once again. No matter how many times Mikasa told them she didn’t believe that was the case.

Their disappointment reach its breaking point when Armin received an ‘SOS’ text from Mikasa asking him to go to their dorm, only to find a dolled up sobbing Y/N on the dark-haired beauty’s embrace. Eren had missed their anniversary date to hang out with Floch. Y/N could’ve probably let it slide if it hadn’t been for the any times he had already cancelled —and stood her up— before.

That was the last straw for Armin.

He had seen you, Y/N, his childhood best friend give your all to the blue-green-eyed boy. Since the moment you both had met Eren and Mikasa, you had always given all you could give to Eren. Especially the last couple of years when he had started to become unstable. You had never given in. Never had you left him alone, no matter how many reason you’d had.

So what gave him the right to make you cry?

Armin never again excused his behavior after that night. Him and Mikasa always standing beside you as you had to endure the attention from girls Eren was receiving, especially when he seemed to enjoy it so much. More than once had they offered to give him a peace of their minds, begged you really, but you had refused. You didn’t know what was going on through his head but you had faith in him. Faith that he would figure it out and fix it, as he had always done before.

You had waited for the whole year.

Your last straw came on your birthday. Just a month after Christmas, which Eren failed to celebrate with the Scouts again in their traditional small gathering on the 25th.

Your friends had all prepared you a surprise party, which they had planned through a secret group chat in which Eren had failed to text back every time. The party was set to start at 10 o’clock at night at Armin’s house, giving you enough time to spend the morning as you always did with your family and the rest of the day with Eren, as they all had been used to since you two started dating exactly five years ago when both of you were fifteen. It was perfect, honestly, you’d be too distracted with the brunette boy to find suspicious why they all had been MIA.

Except Eren didn’t show up at your doorstep. He hadn’t even called or texted.

Which meant you spent the rest of the day before the party locked in your room crying silently while you wondered why.

Only to find out through Floch’s instagram story he was at his house, with an unknown girl under his arm.

By the time Mikasa had gone to pick you up at your childhood home, you were asleep on your bed with swollen eyes and dry tear and mascara stains on your cheeks. She had gasped at the sight, not understanding what had happened. At least until she saw what was on the phone —which was still unblocked— you held softly in your grasp.

And the dark-haired beauty saw red.

She had texted Armin and soon the party had moved to your living room, and instead of a party they turned it into a movie night. They decorated the place and made a blanket fort, Annie even going as far as going to buy some fairy lights to put all over the place.

By the time Sasha went to wake you up and helped you get ready, all of them hid awaiting your arrival.

It had helped heal your broken heart a little.

Still you couldn’t ignore what had been going on for long enough anymore. You had finally ran out of excuses.

So the next week when Armin went to the dorm you and Mikasa shared, you knew. And they knew you knew. So they held you, all day and night, trying to give you the strength you’d need to do what was right for you.

And you did.

And that’s how you’d both gotten to this stage of your story. As painful as getting there had been.

Eren fell to the floor. His knees had given out. He had been frozen on his spot, watching the door intently as if that would somehow make you come back. He thought he had been doing the right thing, he thought he had finally start becoming someone worthy of you. Someone that deserved to be loved by someone as good as you.

He was sobbing. He didn’t even know when he had started, but his body shook with the force of each sob.

He didn’t know what to do. How could he keep going without your unwavering presence beside him giving him the strength he needed to fight back against the cruel world they lived in?

That’s how Armin found him when he came back from his classes. Hugging his knees to his chest on the floor as he sobbed his heart out.

“So she actually did it, huh?”

His teary gaze found his best friend’s stone cold one.

“I d-don’t… Ar-Armin, I don-don’t unders-understand”

“You don’t understand?” He scoffed, “You missed every single movie night we’ve had for a year. You’ve missed every date you guys planned. You missed your anniversary, Christmas, the New Year. And you don’t understand?”

Eren stares, dumbfounded. Had he truly missed all that? He couldn’t even remember properly at this moment.

“You even missed her birthday” Armin continued, “It was last Friday, FYI”

Another sob wrecks through his body. Your birthday, he had missed your birthday. He didn’t even remember the last time he had ever missed one and now he had completely forgotten about it.

What was wrong with him?

“I truly don’t know what was going through your head all this year. Nor why you did every single thing you did” Armin sighed “I’m just glad she finally had the courage to walk away. You were killing her. Everytime you flirted with another girl, every time you blew her off, you were killing her. I’m glad she finally walked away”

Eren had no idea something could hurt this much after his parents’ passing. But it truly hurt more to know he had lost the person he loved the most when she still was at arm’s length.

Especially when this time there was nothing nor no one else to blame but himself. He had pushed you too far this time and you weren’t coming back.

He had lost you.

It Kinda Makes Sense

Pairings: Alive!Luke Patterson x Alive!Reader

Summary: Los Feliz High School, the best school for future actors, singers, or any kind of artists. Home to the top couple formed by Luke Patterson, the perfect boy soon-to-be rockstar, and Y/N Y/L/N, troubled goth girl with the voice of an angel. A match make in heaven... or hell.

{ BASED ON VICTORIOUS’ JADE AND BECK }

| MASTERLIST |

If you asked Julie Molina what had been her first thought once she had stepped foot on Los Feliz she would say it had been... confusing.

The school was beautiful, with bright blue lockers decorated in unbelievable ways to adolescents dressed as bright blue bobcats. It was truly a sight.

The other thing that was a sight was the group of students that captured most of the other teenagers’ attention. Especially two teens who happened to be having what appeared to be a screaming battle. Screaming battle that ended once ice e/c eyes found Julie’s across the hallway.

“Lost something, shorty?” The unknown girl snaps, “MIND YOUR BUSINESS!”

Her words had caused the boy she had previously been fighting with to sigh in shame before looking her way.

Julie’s breath got stuck in her throat.

The boy was beautiful. Scratch that, he was handsome. Untaimed brown hair with wild hazel —maybe green— eyes, the boy could be anyone’s dream boy.

“Y/N, could you not?”

Julie’s brown eyes move to the girl glaring daggers at her only to have her heart skip a beat. The girl —Y/N apparently— was breathtakingly beautiful. She had wavy h/c hair with some dark blue streaks that matched her skin color perfectly and powerful e/c eyes.

Said girl rolls her eyes before glaring at Julie once more before focusing once again on the pretty boy besides her.

“Fine. I won’t. But this conversation is over”

“We haven’t even had the conversation!” The boy argues back.

“And it’s over!”

The dark-dressed girl stomps off leaving the boy groaning in frustration. Julie taking that opportunity to check out the rest of the group.

With her back pressed to a locker decorated with different colorful fabrics stood a light brown haired girl —could be dark blonde— with brown eyes dressed in a beautiful pink dress and black heels to match. She seemed to be debating whether to follow her friend or staying still.

Besides her was a dark-haired boy with sky blue eyes standing out thanks to his pale skin. He was wearing a leather jacket on top of a white shirt, with a red flannel tied on his waist, and black jeans. His eyes glued to the floor.

Lastly, there was the blond boy with a pink hoodie and blue —sometimes green— eyes. He seemed to be pretty used to what had just happened.

The blond one is the one who noticed her still staring at them, offering a sweet smile before walking towards her and stretching his hand.

“Hi, I’m Alex. I’ve never seen you before”

She grabs his hand with a small smile, “Julie. I’m new”

Her name seems to snap the leather jacket boy from his trance, his bright blue eyes soon finding hers with a big smile adorning his features.

“You’re the girl that sang for Flynn on the school’s talent show! I’m Reggie”

Julie blushes as soon as he speaks, everyone’s eyes staring at her with realization and a little of awe.

“Flynn is my best friend, I just wanted to help her out”

“Well, it worked for you. You got a scholarship” pretty boy adds, “I’m Luke”

Julie cannot help the way her smile grows as soon as he smirks at her. He seriously had to be the most gorgeous boy she had ever seen.

The pretty light brown haired girl with the pink dress joins her friends in greeting her, Julie blushing under the vibrant smile she gives her.

“Hi! I’m Carrie”

Julie goes to grab her hand but the girl —Carrie— pulls her in for a hug. The gesture has Julie’s shoulders tensing, she hadn’t willingly hug anyone after her mother’s death a few months ago, but she soon forced herself to relax.

This was a new start. No pity stares or whispers directed at her.

“It’s nice to meet you guys”

After that meeting the curly-haired girl became a part of their weird group of friends. Soon learning that the beauty ice queen dressed in all black was Y/N Y/L/N, Los Feliz High School’s prodigy and Luke’s girlfriend.

It was no secret that the girl was talented, but she was as talented as scary. Julie hadn’t listened too much of everyone’s warnings, she was sure it was all because of how she dressed and acted and not at all for the kind of person she truly was.

Boy, was she wrong.

She learned that the hard way after getting a role on a play Y/N wanted. A role that played Luke’s romantic interest.

She had ended up one rehearsal with hot coffee thrown at her and icy e/c eyes glaring daggers at her with a sweet —fake— smile. Luke’s apologies were not enough to calm the humiliation Julie felt.

And even if the brown-haired latina wasn’t fond of vengeance, she couldn’t stop herself. And if she kissed Luke longer than necessary after sending a wink the goth girl’s way, it was a mere coincidence.

A coincidence that resulted in her having to watch her back every time she stepped on school’s property.

But things did get better with time and Julie and Y/N became kinda friends. At least enough for Y/N to tolerate Julie and for Julie to not be afraid to sit close to the scissors fanatic.

They were okay. As okay as someone could be with the girl who kissed the other’s boyfriend. But okay nevertheless.

But the more time she spent at the school and the closer she got to all of them, the more she doubted the health of Luke’s and Y/N’s relationship. Today being one of those days.

“What are you saying?!”

“I’m just saying, what kind of friend sends you eight messages in a lapse of five minutes?!”

As soon as the words leave the screaming girl’s mouth, Luke’s phone rings signaling the arrival of another text message making Y/N’s glare darken.

“Nine” she growls.

“You don’t even know if it’s from her!”

Y/N glares at him in disbelief, “Okay! Then prove me wrong!”

With a scoff, Luke gets his phone out before checking the recipient of the message only to let out a sigh that proves his girlfriend right.

“Nine?”

He nods in defeat, “Nine. B-but this is ridiculous! She is my FRIEND”

“How naive are you?!”

The couple fights for a couple more minutes before Luke’s gaze finds Julie in front of her butterfly and music doodles decorated locker. The rockstar grabbing his girl’s hand before tugging her towards the latina.

“Julie!”

Her brown eyes find the couple, widening when they see the coldness in Y/N’s eyes before trying to make a run for it.

She doesn’t make it far as Luke’s hand grabs a hold of her wrist keeping her in place.

“We need your help”

“No, we don’t” Y/N argues back.

“YES, we do”

Julie looks at her surroundings looking for a way to get out of there but finding nothing. Where was Alex when she needed him?

“Guys, I really don’t want to be in the middle of whatever this is”

She tries to leave but once again Luke pulls her back, “Too late. If you were my girlfriend—”

“HA! What a perfect way to start”

Luke glares at his girlfriend for the interruption before turning towards Julie once again, failing to notice how uncomfortable the situation was making the latina.

Somehow she was once again in between them, although this time it wasn’t her fault.

“If you were my girlfriend” he starts again, “Would it bother you if I was friends with Kayla?”

“Who cares what she thinks?” / “Honestly, it would”

Both girls speak simultaneously. Y/N’ eyes widening as soon as the Latina’s words register, grabbing a hold of the girl’s shoulders to keep her in place.

“I care what she says” Y/N smiles.

“I want to leave” Julie adds before trying to move only for Y/N’s hold to tighten.

“You stay” she barks.

The argument wasn’t unlike many others, Y/N’s temper wasn’t the best and that meant she sometimes got too jealous. It didn’t help that Luke Patterson didn’t know when to say no nor know the difference between friendly and flirty.

It was just another Luke and Y/N argument, nothing to worry about. Except it was different. Julie realized that as soon as Y/N let go of her and started walking away.

“We’re DONE”

The words had everyone in the hallway quiet down and stare at the ‘it’ couple. Eyes settled on Luke’s surprised reaction and Y/N’s tensed body.

“Come on” Luke voices “You’re being ridiculous”

“What do you care?!” She screams back before starting to leave, “You’re not my boyfriend anymore”

Word around the school traveled fast and soon girls were following Luke around begging for his attention, much to his annoyance.

On the other hand, every time a guy tried to get near Y/N she would turn her icy glare at them and have them running away in seconds.

It was a weird and new situation. Especially at lunch. It was weird seeing the former couple sitting on opposite sides of the table instead of at the side of the other with Luke’s arm resting on Y/N’s shoulders.

It was new territory to have Luke inevitably —as a habit— reach for Y/N only to have her snap at him to not touch her, just as she did to everyone else.

But that was what they had to deal with for two weeks.

Two weeks is how long it took for Y/N to ask Luke to take her back only to have him reject her. Two weeks that made Y/N go crying to Julie’s house, the only one of her friends —not really her friend— whose opinion mattered much less than the others.

“What are you doing in my house?” Is the first thing that Julie says as she sees the other girl.

Y/N gets into the house without waiting for an invitation before starting to sob, Julie standing there in panic as she sees the cold hearted teenager break down.

The latina tries to go for a hug only to be pushed back.

“I need your help”

A long talk later, Y/N convinced the Molina girl to help her get Luke back. Somehow, Julie had the fantastic idea that she had to change.

Y/N Y/L/N was a time bomb. Always ready to explode without a care on who she takes down. That had to change.

Julie realized then that the girl was truly in love with Luke. Y/N was letting her —Julie Molina— see her cry her eyes out just to ask for help to get him back. She was letting Julie give her a makeover just to get him back.

She was truly in love.

The next day at school everyone stared wide-eyed at the beauty that was Y/N Y/L/N in a colorful outfit and a wide smile —though it was a fake one—.

Everyone except Luke. The brunette boy stared at his former girlfriend with furrowed eyebrows not liking the change, his expression not changing even when Alex and Reggie complimented her.

He also couldn’t help the glares he sent any boy who came to flirt with her, his glares darkening every time she flirted back. This was not his girl and he knew whose fault it was.

His now dark green eyes find Julie’s proud smile across the hall and soon he stomps towards her, grabbing her by the arm before taking her to the janitor’s closet.

“What did you do to Y/N?”

Julie furrows her eyebrows in confusion as she sees the angry look the guitarist is giving her, but soon smirks as she confuses it with jealousy.

“What? Jealous of the attention she is receiving?”

“Actually, I’m mad that she is receiving the attention for dressing like a Barbie” he argues back, “That is not her, that is not the girl I love”

Julie’s eyes widen after the boy’s words before he storms off, leaving her with an unexpected knowledge.

The latina goes to look for Y/N as soon as she snaps out of her trance only to find said girl in the bathroom back in her black clothes while doing her dark eyeshadow.

“Wha—ho—I’m confused”

“Being nice sucks” she answers as she finishes her makeup, “Thanks for the help but, if I can be honest, I was better without it”

“Bu— and Luke?”

“If he ever wants to get back together it has to be with me, the real me. Not a version of me dressed in awfully ridiculous clothes”

“Those were my clothes”

“Exactly my point”

With that Y/N walks out of the bathroom ignoring the looks that followed her figure, leaving Julie once again at loss of words.

A week after, Luke and Y/N were back together and closer than ever. But the honeymoon phase faded and the fights started once again. But Julie learned to see the beauty in their arguments.

Every argument got Luke out of his perfectly peaceful demeanor and got him to voice his thoughts out more, it helped him stand up more for himself. And every argument showed the depth of Y/N’s feelings for the guitarist, it showed how much she cared.

It’s just that sometimes they didn’t know when to stop arguing.

Of course now Julie wasn’t blind to their little moments. The way Y/N always stopped when Luke asked her to or how Luke always kissed the girl’s temple sweetly.

Or how when Bobby —Sunset Curve’s (which was the boys’ band) rhythm guitarist (who she hadn’t met)— left the boys, it was Y/N who approached the curly-haired girl thinking she was the perfect fit for the remake of the band.

It was Y/N, who barely tolerated her, who adviced them to change the band’s name as they changed their sound slightly. Julie and the Phantoms, had been her idea after the boys ghosted the girls on the group chat.

Julie knew the only reason why Y/N had done that was because she knew how much the band meant to Luke.

She wasn’t blind to how Luke would only ever snap when it was to protect Y/N, even if he knew she was perfectly capable of doing it herself. Or how he always bought a hot chocolate with his coffee for her.

With time, Julie realized it kinda made sense why they were together even when she couldn’t quite completely understand it.

But soon the fights started again, this time worst than ever. It was different because instead of bickering until one gave in, neither seemed interested enough in fighting.

It worried all of them because their fights —as annoying as they sometimes were— showed how much each cared. Now it seemed they didn’t.

To be completely fair, Julie understood if anyone outside their group saw the relationship as toxic. She had seen it as toxic once. But it just made sense in a weird way. It just made sense for the kind of people they were, they complemented one another.

But this time the fights were just too much. That’s why when the traditional friend group game night happen, Y/N and Luke weren’t invited.

Carrie —Y/N’s undoubted best friend— was sick of fainting every time she got stuck in the middle, the innocent and kind girl couldn’t take the stress.

Reggie, the boyish teenager with the purest heart ever, didn’t want to cry anymore. He couldn’t handle the screaming and that’s all the couple did.

Alex, on the other hand, was tired of having to grab his asthma medicine every time they appeared. The fights making him get too anxious which always caused him a panic attack which led to his inability to breathe which led to an asthma attack.

No one could take it anymore.

So they decided to have an evening free of them, one well deserved. But it didn’t work as planned as the couple stormed into Julie’s home half an hour after everyone started playing Monopoly.

“See! Told you they’d be here”

Y/N rolls her eyes, “So? What does it matter if they’re at dumbass’ house?”

Julie rolls her eyes at the insult but nevertheless listens closely to the couple, all her friends groaning in annoyance at the interruption.

“It matters because our friends, our best friends, don’t want to be near us anymore!” He argues “Doesn’t this bother you?”

“Not really” she shrugs, “Should it? Wait... does it bother you?”

“It does! They’re our best friends and they can’t stand us”

Y/N crosses her arms across her chest before turning to glare at their friends, Carrie hiding under the table with a shriek as soon as she sees her best friend gaze at her.

Seeing the icy glare that the girl throws at them, Reggie shakily takes a deep breath before standing up and looking at them with annoyance.

“Yes! We can’t stand either of you!” He shouts, “We wanted a day free of you both because all you ever do is fight! And, somehow, you always seem to drag us to the middle of it. We’re tired!”

As soon as Reggie finishes, the dark-haired boy sits down with a huff. His shoulders feeling less tense as he let out his emotions.

The couple watched their best friends with mixed feelings, neither expecting the outburst and much less from Reggie. Reggie who had always been one to avoid conflict.

“I cannot believe this” Luke sighs “Reggie snapped at us. REGGIE”

“This is you fault!” She accuses “How hard is it to just agree with me?!”

“BUT I DON’T AGREE WITH YOU”

“BECAUSE YOU ARE WRONG”

The four friends sighed in defeat as they listened to the couple bicker once more with one another, how had a fun night turned to a nightmare all of a sudden?

They silently decided to just stay in their seats waiting for the couple to stop the nonsense as they always did.

“WHAT BOTHERS YOU SO MUCH?!”

“THAT I AM NOT HAPPY WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP!”

The words cut through Y/N’s strong façade in a second, the glare faltering as Luke’s eyes widen after realizing what he had said.

No one dared move nor say anything. Everyone had their eyes on the couple that seemed to be coming to terms with how bad the situation had become.

“Fine” she sighs in defeat “You have a choice. I’m walking out that door and counting to ten, if you’re not out before I finish we are DONE”

Luke sighs frustrated as he watches her leave, the door closing with a thud behind her.

“One”

He stays still on his place with his fists clenching as he fights the urge to run to her and scream at her what was the reason for this ultimatum.

“Two”

Luke knows he needs to calm down. He has to. He had to if he wanted to be able to go after her without fighting as soon as he saw her.

“Three”

Y/N counted behind the door, staring at it with nerves as she asks herself how he could take so long to come after her. What was taking him so long to decide that she was worth going after?

“Four”

The four friends behind Luke stare with wide eyes as they try to figure out what is it that the brunette is going to do.

They want him to go after her. Carrie, Reggie, and Alex more than Julie. The three best friends had been there throughout all the relationship. They had seen Luke be the only one brave enough to pursue the cruel beauty. They had seen Y/N being the only one that cared more about Luke’s heart than his looks.

They knew how much this relationship was worth. Even with all the fights, they knew the love the two had for one another was deeper than any outsider could understand at first sight.

He had to go after her.

“Five”

Luke sighs looking towards his friends once before deciding what he wants to do. He can’t lose her, no matter how much they fight.

No one understood him like she did. No one cared enough to tell him when he was wrong or to fight with him until he fought for what he wanted.

“Six”

Y/N feels her eyes widen as she realizes how much time he is taking. It should’ve been easy, he shouldn’t have even let her count to three.

He should’ve opened the door the second she closed it.

“Seven”

Sighing, Luke starts slowly making his way towards the door. His best friends sighing in relief as they see him do it.

Julie, though, watches closely as the boy’s shoulders tense the closer he gets.

“Eight”

Carrie furrows her eyebrows once she sees Luke starting to halt in his steps. She knew Y/N better than anyone, Y/N had been the only one willing to take the ‘obnoxious naive superstar’s daughter’ under her wing and be completely honest with her.

She knows better than anyone that if Luke lets her walk away just like her father let her mother walk away with her, that’ll break her.

“Nine”

Luke grabs a hold of the handle but for some reason he can’t bring himself to turn it and open the door.

Something feels wrong about opening it, almost as wrong as it feels to not open it.

He is scared of what it means if he opens it, or how easily he gives in. Something had to change. Maybe he needed to let her walk away, Y/N always came back. She would go to his house in the middle of the night and they would fix everything.

It would be okay, they would be okay. They always were. This was no difference, they just needed some time to think, to breathe.

So he doesn’t turn the knob.

“Ten”

Y/N feels her heart stop the moment she screams the last number. She feels her heart sink to her stomach as a feeling of abandonment settles in her.

She feels her skin pale and soon reaches for the knob, but she doesn’t allow herself to touch it. He made his choice.

So with every ounce of strength she could find within her, Y/N turns around and makes her way to her car knowing that he could catch a ride with Alex. The tears started accumulating in her e/c eyes but she didn’t let them fall.

Y/N Y/L/N didn’t cry. She wasn’t about to start... at least not in a place where someone could see her.

Inside the Molina’s household, the best friends stare at Luke in disbelief, neither knowing what to say or do now. The Patterson boy makes the decision for them.

“Let’s play some Monopoly”

The statement has everyone else following his movements in silence, knowing better than to act against him.

Carrie, though, is the one that finally breaks the silence as she lets out a quiet sob. She was angry, mainly at herself for not being able to go after her best friend. But she knew better. Y/N was a person who protected her feelings more than anything else, she was in pain and she wouldn’t let it out if someone was watching her. So Carrie had to stay on her seat even if she wanted to run after her.

“You hurt her” whispered the sweet teenager, “I trusted you, she trusted you, with her heart and you hurt it”

It was at that moment, with Carrie’s pretty brown eyes filled with tears as she glared at him with all her willpower, that Luke realized how wrong he had been. He thought it would be okay but Carrie’s reaction proved him wrong.

Carrie showed him that this time was different from the others. If the sweet girl willingly glared at him with so much betrayal than it meant that Y/N wasn’t gonna go to his house at midnight.

It meant he had lost her.

Still, as Luke realized that, he stayed on his seat staring intently at the fake money in his hands. He couldn’t change what he had done.

“Let’s start”

The following weeks were a pain for the group of friends. The group had to divide their time between the former couple and it was exhausting.

But things got better and after a couple of months Y/N and Luke started sitting at the same table with their friends once again. It brought some relief to the group.

The hurt from the breakup still pained them though. Y/N was not used to watching so many girls flirt with Luke and watching him flirt back, and Luke was not used to Y/N moving away from his touch while also enjoying the way some guys’ eyes linger on her figure.

Things had changed and it pained them both, but they were finally okay. As okay as they could be at least.

They still loved each other, but they became good at pretending. Soon three months became five and five became seven. And things were okay, they were friends again without any awkwardness surrounding the group.

Still, Julie was sure she wasn’t the only one who noticed the love they still had for the other. It was the little things. The way their eyes lingered on the other when they thought no one was looking, the smiles they faked to play the part; all signs of how much they still loved the other. Even after everything.

So it did come as a surprised when Y/N announced she had a date.

Apparently some senior that participated on the play with her had the balls to ask her out. And she said yes.

While everyone congratulated the mean girl, Luke made some excuse to leave the table while everyone tried to stop themselves from asking the questions that they new neither of the former couple wanted to answer.

‘Are you okay?’ ‘Do you still love her/him?’

Neither wanted to be asked that because the answers broke them. They weren’t okay. They still were in love with one another.

They were afraid they would never stop being in love with the other.

But neither had to say it. All their friends knew it, because they knew them. That’s why no one was surprised when Julie and the Phantoms was saved by Y/N on their concert at a cafe the night of her date.

The girl had screamed at them for keeping the presentation a secret, the band excusing themselves with the thought of not wanting her to miss her date —although they didn’t want to give her the opportunity to bring her date with her to their concert since that would break Luke.

Either way, they boys’ amps had stopped working and in a panic Julie had texted Carrie. Carrie had been helping Y/N get ready and said girl had grabbed her amps and drove them both to the small cafe.

Date completely forgotten without a care.

“You didn’t have to miss your date for this” Luke tells her softly.

She looks at him as if he had lost his mind, “This is your band, Patterson”

Luke’s heart feels heavy in his chest as he realizes the depth behind her words. This was his band and that meant it meant something to her. It meant as much to her as it did to him because it was his.

The brunette boy feels a smile overtake his features along with a small blush, wanting nothing more than to kiss her right there.

But he didn’t. Instead he kissed her cheek.

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise and soon her perfect skin started acquiring a deep scarlet, which she hid by hurrying Carrie to go find some seats.

If that night Luke sang looking at her too often, then damn him. Who could blame him? Y/N had just giving him more reasons to love her.

After that neither tried to date again. They were silently pining after one another, too afraid to make a move considering the way things ended between them.

But Julie grew tired of it and soon started bugging them to date other people if they weren’t going to date one another.

That’s why when Luke was rejecting Kayla’s date, Julie intervened.

“Sorry, Kayla” he apologizes, “I have rehearsal with the band”

“No, we don’t” Julie smiles “Actually, why don’t you guys come to the concert the school is holding together?”

Luke glared at the talented singer before fake smiling towards the Hawaiian beauty who agreed instantly.

Though once Kayla is out sight, Luke grabs Julie’s arm and pulls her towards the janitor’s closet where he glares at her with dark green eyes.

“What are you doing?”

“You need to date! Get out there, mingle a little”

He shakes his head, “When Y/N finds out about this she’ll despise me”

Julie frowns with confusion, “No, she won’t. She has moved on, you should too”

Luke shakes his head in disbelief making Julie scoff before getting her phone out.

“What are you doing?”

She shushes him before putting her phone on speaker, making Luke’s eyes widen once he sees the called ID being the one of his ex.

He would never voice out loud the way his heart skipped a beat.

“I’m blocking you”, came her cold voice as soon as the call is picked up.

“Wait—Y/N! Don’t hang up!”

A groan is heard making Luke involuntarily smile.

“You have five seconds to tell me what the heck you want before I block you”

“Okay, look, I’m here with Beck—“

“Julie, don’t”

“He’s going with Kayla to the school’s concert, as a date” Julie continues “Just wanted to make sure that’s okay with you”

There’s a ten seconds silence through the line. Ten seconds in which Julie realizes that maybe she was wrong, that maybe she should’ve minded her own business. For so long she had found annoyance in the ways she always ended up in the middle of their problems and here she was, butting in herself.

Ten seconds in which Luke panics. Realizing that he is also awaiting the answer anxiously. There are two ways this could go: Y/N could snap, voicing loudly how she didn’t give a damn, or she could scream asking for answers to questions she shouldn’t have and bad-mouthing Kayla. Both were common in their past. It was a way to showed she cared, that she was jealous and that she wasn’t ready to let him go yet. Both answers would give him the last drop of hope he needed to do something about what he felt towards her.

But when the ten seconds came to an end, neither got an answer they expected from the impulsive ice queen.

“We’re not dating” she reminded them in a voice too soft to be recognized as hers, “We haven’t been for a long time. You don’t have to make sure if it’s okay with me”

“What?”, Luke asks softly, “Y/N, I…”

“I’m being serious right now, Luke”, she continues, “I do appreciate your concern but it’s none of my business who you date”

Silence. Neither Julie nor Luke know what to say or do next. Neither expected the mature response from the H/C haired beauty. Neither knew if they liked it.

“Well, if that was all, don’t call me again”

And she hung up.

Julie stared at her phone in disbelief, but what did she expect? Was she secretly hoping that Y/N would finally snap and this agonizing secret mutual pining they were all forced to endure would finally end? What exactly had she expected to achieve from this?

Definitely not the way Luke was looking right now.

The guitarist looked completely heartbroken and hopeless. The fire that normally resided in his eyes had ceased to exist. And as he looked at one of his best friends while holding tightly onto his backpack’s strap, all that could shine through his eyes was a deep feeling of betrayal.

“I…”

“You should’ve stayed out of it”, he voiced numbly “She doesn’t despise me. It’s worst, she doesn’t care at all”

“Luke…”

“I’ll go on that stupid date, just bug out, will you?”

The days before the concert were painful for every single one of them on their friend group. It was definitely a weird sight to see Luke look so out of it and Y/N so unbothered by it. It was the first time since their break up that their friends doubted the possibility of them ever finding their way back to each other.

When they finally had the courage to ask Luke what was going on, the guitarist told them he had a date with his eyes glued to Y/N body. He was waiting for a reaction, no matter how small it was. Anything really.

But she gave nothing away.

All she did to answer their friends’ curious and astonished gazes was shrug her shoulders and voice she was just trying to finish her song for the school’s concert.

The unbothered air that surrounded her was heartbreaking for everyone around her. It was as if she was truly okay either letting go of Luke and their history. As if she had already given up on them. They couldn’t blame her, it had been a long time since they last were together, but that didn’t change the fact that they all truly believed they were meant to be together and that it was unsettling to see it come to a real end.

Especially by the look on Luke’s eyes. His face may have remained neutral and unfaltering but his eyes could never deceive from his true feelings. He was hurt.

And being hurt but not wanting to show it meant he tried to keep himself as busy as he could until the school’s concert, avoiding all his friends and Y/N especially. And when the time to meet up with Kayla came, Luke had to pretend to be invested in everything she told him; even if most things were just compliments to suck up to him, agreeing to every little thing he said. He didn’t even know if anything that she actually told him was her actual real opinion or if she was just trying that hard to agree with everything he said to be reciprocated.

He didn’t even know anything about who she was and they had been talking for the hour that concert had already been going on.

Favorite song? She would ask his first before saying how much she also loved it. Methods of acting that they found more suitable? She would giggle and twirl her hair waiting for him to answer before giving what she would fake is her own opinion.

It was tiring.

Where was her own fire? Why didn’t she fight back when he disagreed with something she said? Why didn’t she try to show him why she was passionate about it instead of just nodding and giving in?

Why was she making it so easy?

He didn’t like it. He was hating it actually. So he took the first chance he could, excusing himself by saying he needed to refill his drink, to run for it.

That’s how Julie found him after helping the boys set up the instruments for Y/N’s set, which was up next.

“Ooohh, hello, loverboy” she teased him, “Where is your lovely lady of the night?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care”

Julie blinks, surprised by his answer, before grabbing a cup and filling it with the first soda she saw.

“Date not going well?”

“It’s a disaster” he scoffs, “She’s just agreeing with everything I say”

Julie nods, “Isn’t that a good thing, though? Means you have things in common”

“Not really. Not if I don’t know if that is truly what she thinks” he shakes his head “Feels like she’s just trying to agree to everything I say”

“Well, it’s the first date, you know” she sighs, “She probably doesn’t want to fight you on it. Next one will be better”

He shakes his head, “There won’t be a next one”

“WHAT?!”

Luke drinks from his cup while Julie starts stumbling upon her words after what he said. She couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t even gonna give it a chance? The date wasn’t even over yet.

“I think I learned something about myself”

Julie scoffs, “That you’re ungrateful to your friend who tried to help you by fixing you up with a cute girl?!”

“No, I just…” he sighs “I think I kind of like to date a girl who, you know… fights back”

Julie looks at him dumbfounded, not understanding his point.

“I mean a girl who has strong opinions” he continues, “you know? A big mouth”

“Why?”

He shrugs his shoulders, “Cause it’s not easy. Easy is boring”

Julie stares for a good minute before sighing. It kinda made sense. At the end of the day, love was all about growth. Growth didn’t exist without different opinions and dialogues that fought each ideal. It was all about pushing each other to become your very best. How could you do that without bumps along the way?

“Okay…” she sighs, taking a sip of her drink, “Then, who’s not boring?”

Their conversation is cut short by Reggie’s voice on the stage, he had been assigned as the concert’s host and had been doing a magnificent job all night.

“Okay, people! Let’s hear things up with F/N L/N! Let’s go!”

Reggie soon goes to grab the bass as Alex appears behind the drums. Other two students grabbing the guitar and keyboard left.

Luke and Julie take a step closer, that way they have a better view of the stage.

The guitar starts playing the intro as Y/N walks into stage in a cute short black goth dress with fisher nets and combat boots, her hair’s normal blue streaks a dark purple this night. Shortly after she makes her way to the microphone stand the drums join the melody.

And soon her melodious and angelic raspy voice sounds through the place.

“You think you know me

But you don't know me

You think you own me

But you can't control me”

As if it was destined to be, the lyrics bring light to the situation at hand.

There was a reason why Luke and Y/N always ended up gravitating towards one another despite all the horrible fights they endured with each other.

“You look at me and there's just one thing that you see

So listen to me

Listen to me”

Julie feels like smacking herself across the face. The truth was so obvious that she feels dumb to have been so oblivious to it.

“You push me back

I push you back

Harder, harder

You scream at me

I scream at you

Louder, L-L-L-L-Louder”

Luke Patterson was probably one of the most carefree and easy going people she had ever met. He was always carrying this certain peaceful atmosphere around him. He needed someone or something to push him to thrive, to become better than he already was. To fight for his ideals and his dreams. It wasn’t enough to just want them to happen, he had to make them happen and his calm self usually hid from conflict.

F/N L/N was probably the most loud and impulsive person Julie had ever met. Never once had she silenced her opinions, always speaking the truth no matter how cruel it could be. She wasn’t someone who hid from a fight and whenever she wanted something she never stopped until she got it. She needed someone who could stop her when she was going to far, someone to calm the fire that never cease to light up inside of her.

“I'm dangerous so I'm warning you

But you're not afraid of me

And I can't convince you

You don't know me”

There was not one person in the whole world that was meant to be with the other but themselves. They pushed each other, for better and worst. They had the possibility of being the best and the worst thing that could happen to the other.

And as the song keeps going, the truth becomes blinding.

“And the longer that you stay, the ice is melting

And the pain feels okay, it feels okay (hey)”

Luke’s eyes never once stray away from the powerful force that is Y/N as she sings. Her voice loud and powerful as raspy and angelic. His heart beats to the song’s rhythm, unveiling a silent truth that he had been trying so hard to push to the bottom of his being, to afraid of what it truly meant. To afraid of it being to late to mean it.

“You push me back

I push you back

You scream at me

I scream at you

Louder”

Her e/c cold gaze meets his green eyes and suddenly it seems all the iciness in it melts away. As if only his gaze could have that power over her. As if only he was allowed to see the true kind soul hidden behind the cold walls she had taken so long to build around herself.

“You push me back

I push you back

Harder harder

You scream at me

I scream at you

Louder, L-L-L-L-Louder”

And he knows right there and then, as does Julie and his friends, that it is her. It has always been her. It will always be her.

It is Y/N who pushes him until he finally snaps. It is Y/N who fights for him whenever he doesn’t find the will to do so. It is Y/N who loves him so much that she fights to control her impulses whenever he asks her to.

It had always been her and he had been a fool to ever let her walk away without giving a fight. Especially when she had never stopped fighting.

“I'm dangerous so I'm warning you

But you're not afraid of me

And I can't convince you

And I don't have to I think you know me”

Their relationship was flawed. Maybe even toxic. But it was magical. It was powerful and passionate. And it was real.

Never had they ever been afraid to voice their opinions to the other, even fighting back when they disagreed; yet never settling. Never had they ever been afraid to be vulnerable by showing each other how much they truly cared for one another. Never had they ever stopped loving each other.

The applause make Luke blink out of his daze and realize all this time he had been staring right at Y/N. And she had been staring back.

She offers him a soft smile that to anyone else would look like her usual smirk, but he knew better. He had always known better. And that’s how he knows she is fighting, one last time, for him. She has ignited the flame and it is leaving it to him to turn it off once and for all or help it grow as fierce and wild as it can.

Julie smiles softly, “So, Luke… who’s not boring?”

And he smiles.

Step by step he gets closer to the stage where Y/N is still on, nodding at the standing ovation that is applauding her. Only taking her eyes her eyes off the public once he makes it right at her side.

Everyone’s eyes are on them. Silence.

They stand there for a minute just staring at each other. Y/N with her hand folded in front of her and Luke with both his hands buried in his jean’s pockets.

“I’ve missed you” he finally voices.

She shrugs, acting indifferent, “So what are you gonna do about it?”

Two seconds of silence follow in which Luke pauses to admire her challenging e/c gaze, before taking enough steps to be face-to-face with her. His hand leave the safety of his pockets and find their way to the warm of her cheeks before pulling her towards him, lips meeting anxiously.

And it was like a weight was lifted of their chests, letting them finally breathe without struggle.

No matter the fights, the misunderstandings, disagreements or the toxicity. They would always find their way back to each other because of the truth and purity of their love, which was real. Love was never meant to be perfect but it is meant to keep the other grounded, to push the other to grow.

And that’s what always brought Luke and Y/N back. It’s what always would bring them back.