Time After Time Pt 2 | R.C

Time after Time pt 2 | R.C

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: When your boyfriend ditches you on the night of senior prom you end up running into the last person you would ever expect to see, Rafe Cameron, your best friends older brother who you haven't seen since he left for college three years ago… (part two, part one is here)

flashbacks are in italics.

_______

The morning’s warm sunlight poured through the gap in the curtains, burning the back of your eyelids and you groaned in your sleep flipping over to avoid the glare. There was a dull throbbing in your temples that you tried desperately to ignore as you burrowed into the warmth of the pillow below you. You were dreaming that you were cuddling a huge teddy bear and you felt so content and cosy that you never wanted to wake up. Unfortunately your headache was beginning to build, your peaceful sleep all but being drained away. 

“What time is it?” You wondered out loud, voice thick with sleep, slowly trying to blink open eyelids that felt like they were being weighed down by led bricks.

“About 9” a voice right above your head replied - a male voice - and your whole body tensed. You suddenly became aware that the warmth beneath your head was not in fact a pillow but a chest, a shirtless chest. 

In a flash you’d sat up, ignoring the burning in your head as you stared wide eyed at the man laying below you. Surely this was a dream, it had to be because there was no way that Rafe goddamn Cameron was laying shirtless in bed with you. Your half asleep hazy mind couldn’t make sense of it.

“You’re not a teddy bear” you blurted out then clapped a hand in horror over your mouth as Rafe choked on a laugh.

“Not since last time I checked.”

You winced and absentmindedly pressed your fingers into your temples “okay okay” you said trying to inject some faux control into your voice “i'm going to close my eyes and when I open them again i'm going to be in my room instead of yours and you’re not going to be there.” 

You quickly screwed your eyes shut again pressing your palms over them before taking a deep breath, counting to 3 and moving your hand away.

Rafe was still there, propped up lazily by his elbow smirking at you as he tried to contain his laughter.

“Boo” he said suddenly, snorting when you jumped. 

“Not funny!” you reached out to swipe playfully at his chest but he caught your wrist before it could make contact, the subtle pressure of his fingers on your skin making butterflies erupt in your gut and you pulled away quickly hoping your cheeks wouldn’t betray a flush. 

He rolled over then leaning to get something out of his nightstand and you swallowed, stealing a glance at him while his back was turned. He was clad in only grey sweatpants and your eyes shamelessly roved over the powerful muscles in his back extending into his biceps. 

Despite the fact that he’d evidently just woke up, he looked unreasonably attractive. His eyes hooded with sleep giving off an effortlessly sultry look and his mussed up hair looking even better than when he carefully styled it. How could someone look that gorgeous just after waking up? You hardly thought it was fair you always woke up looking like you’d been dragged through a bush. 

It suddenly occurred to you that you had no idea what you looked like right now and you grimaced. You stood up from the bed and made your way over to his en suite. 

You were relieved to see you were fully clothed, still wearing your prom dress in fact and that Rafe while being shirtless had a pair of sweatpants on.

You sank down to the corner of bed pressing your palm into your temples “what in the world happened last night?”

Rafe chuckled again and wordlessly passed you a bottle of water and an aspirin.

“You don’t remember?”

You screwed your eyes shut again and groaned “gimme a moment.”

Rafe laughed, “take your aspirin, it'll take the edge off of hangover but you should eat something too.”

You nodded but made no move to take it, choosing instead to press the cold surface of the water bottle to your temple, the condensation soothing the dull ache. 

“Let me guess,” Rafe said teasingly, “ you still can’t take pills? Should I have hid it in a spoon of jelly or something?”

Your skin flushed with embarrassment as you opened your eyes to glare at him “I am not twelve anymore, I can’t believe you even remember that.” 

“I remember everything about you Ace.”

A smile tugged at your lips and you looked down choosing to take the aspirin to avoid catching his eye, you didn’t know what to say or how to react when he said things like that it still felt surreal that he was even here. 

“Remember anything yet?”

“Mmm” you nodded through a gulp of water, memories of last night were beginning to trickle in now that the fogginess of sleep was ebbing away. You remembered meeting Rafe on the sidewalk, him daring you to get on the bike, you remembered how he’d missed the turn in for your street and taken you to an ice cream place instead. 

“One scoop strawberry, one scoop vanilla, sprinkles and raspberry sauce?”

You stared at him incredulously for a moment “how the hell did you know that?”

He shrugged “I was always the sucker you and Sarah would rope into running to the ice cream van remember? And the one who had to drive you here every weekend after I got my licence.”

You smiled at the memory, so many weekends spent at your best friend's house, your mom used to joke you spent more time there than at home. You remembered all the candy you and Sarah would stockpile to bribe Rafe with and the ice creams he’d come running back with, two in each hand, half melted in the baking summer sun vanilla dripping down his fingers. 

“Still that was like a million years ago.”

“Feels like yesterday sometimes” he said and you couldn’t help but agree, sometimes it felt like if you closed your eyes you could still taste the summer days of your youth on the tip of your tongue. 

“I'll be right back”  Rafe said and you nodded sitting back on the low brick wall as you watched him approach the little building. The ice cream parlour was closing up but you knew Rafe, he could probably sweet talk his way into the white house. Predictably the employee working that night had no trouble getting two last ice creams for you both, he’d been on the football team with Rafe in high school and you could hear them reminiscing as his old friend made up your orders. 

You tuned them out as you waited, choosing to face the beach so that you could watch the sea. It was dark and the moonlight reflected silvery grey on the tips of the surf, there was something mesmerising about each pull of the waves on the shore and you found yourself lost in thought. 

“Hey” Rafe said, nudging you with his elbow and you jumped making him laugh “you were away with the fairies.”

“Yeah I was sorry.” You took the ice cream from his outstretched hand resisting the urge to shiver when your fingertips grazed his warm knuckle. 

“What were you thinking about?” 

You shrugged “nothing really.”

He raised his eyebrows “tell me you weren’t thinking about that loser…because I can still beat his ass.”

You laughed “not exactly when he’s thousands of miles away.”

Rafe smirked, “I can drive.”

You snorted “Rafe Cameron you’re crazy…”

He looked at you seriously for a moment. “I just think what he did was really shitty and I don’t want your night to be ruined thinking about that waste of space jackass.”

“Rafe…” you reached out and touched his arm “I wasn’t even thinking about him” come to think of it your shitty ex boyfriend had barely crossed your mind since you’d run into Rafe “you’re a good distraction.”

He smirked, “that's what all the girls say.”

“Rafe!” you gasped smacking his arm lightly as he laughed. 

You lapsed into a quiet contemplative silence as you ate your ice creams and you trailed your feet in the soft sand below. 

“Thank you,” you said after a moment.

“For what?”

“For distracting me, for making sure my prom night isn’t a complete disaster.”

He knocked his shoulder into yours “it was my pleasure ace.” Then he reached across with his little plastic spoon and stole a swipe of your ice cream.

“Hey!” you protested “that’s mine”

He locked eyes with you as he popped the spoon into his mouth, grin intact and you pouted.

“Thief.”

“I just wanted to try it,” he said, “mine's still better by the way.”

You rolled your eyes “pistachio? That's like the worst flavour.”

“You’ve never tried it” he accused you, pointing his spoon and you gasped.

“Yes I have!” 

“I knew it,” he laughed, “you're lying.”

You shook your head.

“You are,” he insisted “you did the thing.”

“What thing?” you asked sulkily.

“The thing you always do when you’re lying, like the time you and Sarah broke my xbox controller and said it was baby Wheezie.”

“I always wondered how you knew that was us! You laughed “so what is my tell?”

Rafe smirked “and give up my leverage? No way.”

You scoffed “shut up dork” and he held out his spoon.

“Try it.”

You looked at him for half a second contemplating it before quickly eating the ice cream. The flavour of pistachio burst across your tongue but you found to your surprise that you didn’t hate it, in fact it was delicious. 

Rafe smirked, “I knew you’d like it.”

“I didn’t even say anything yet!” you protested.

He shrugged, “you’re an open book.”

“No im not” you pouted and he leaned in, just a fraction closer but it was enough that you could feel the heat of his body against the cold sea breeze.

“You always have been to me” he whispered and you felt it, the electricity between the two of you humming in the air. It was palpable, the tension thick enough that you felt like you could reach out and touch it.

“Rafe” you whispered, he was looking at you in a way he’d never looked at you before, blue eyes so intense “Rafe -”

He leaned in closer, head angling just a fraction and you held your breath in anticipation when -

The shutters of the ice cream place slammed down and you jolted away from each other “nice to see you man!” Clay called out to Rafe as he walked to his car and Rafe’s jaw stiffened as he lifted a hand in goodbye. 

The moment - or whatever it had been, you weren’t even sure - was over and you coughed awkwardly and jumped off the wall. You needed a little breather from his proximity, you could still smell his cologne on the borrowed jacket around your shoulders and that was intoxicating enough. 

Your heels were still strapped around your wrists and the sand felt cold between your toes as you walked across the beach. It took Rafe less than two strides to catch up, damn him and his long legs. You walked in silence for a while, just watching the moonlight on the ocean until he broke it. 

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

You sighed, swinging your heels. “Prom” you admitted, you’d been trying not to think about it but you couldn’t help but feel sad, this was not how your night was supposed to be. You felt stupid for being so upset but you’d been dreaming of this night for so long and it was supposed to be the last hurrah for high school. You might not have loved every second of high school but you’d spent a lot of time there and it was sad that it had to end with the shitty memory of sitting on the sidelines all night watching your classmates dance and have fun. 

Rafe looked at you sideways, quiet as he thought about something. “I have an idea,” he said finally.

“What is it?” you asked and he smiled.

“It's a surprise…do you trust me?”

You’d known Rafe practically your whole life, he was your best friend's annoying older brother and you’d loved him in secret for years, you didn’t even have to think about it. “Yes” you whispered and took his outstretched hand. 

The ride back home felt like flying, your arms wrapped around Rafe’s torso, your head pressed into his back. You could feel the wind dancing through your hair, see the stars soaring overhead. 

Before you knew it you were at Tanny hill, the infamous residence of the Camerons. You’d pretty much grown up here, spending all your free time with Sarah, but you’d never come here with just Rafe before. 

“What are we doing?” You asked as you dismounted the bike but Rafe just tapped a finger to his lips. 

“Shhh,” he whispered, pointing silently upwards. Rose and Ward’s bedroom was right above you shrouded in darkness. 

The garden was dimly lit, the distant fairy lights adorning the trees lining the edge of the property providing the only light. Truthfully you’d walked the path up to this house enough times that you could probably do it blindfolded in your sleep but when Rafe held his hand out to guide you up the path you couldn’t help but take it. 

His fingertips were only lightly threaded through yours but you wondered if he could feel your pulse hammering in your wrists. The anticipation was almost more than you could bear. Too wrapped up in thinking about the smell of Rafe’s cologne and the mystery of his plan you tripped on a dislodged stone. Before you could even think about hitting the ground Rafe’s arms were around you, holding you upright. 

“You okay?” He whispered and your heart beat even louder. He was so close, close enough that you could probably count his eyelashes even in the low moonlight.

You nodded and he smiled, choosing to take a hold of your whole hand this time as he led you up the path. It was cold yet somehow you felt like you’d never been warmer, your whole being on fire with every glance, every touch.

Finally you reached the house and Rafe let the two of you into the spare garage where the soundproof walls assured that your voices wouldn’t be heard. 

“So are you finally going to reveal this grand idea of yours?” You asked. 

The corners of his mouth lifted up “I’m not letting go of my cards that easily ace.”

You laughed “I’m starting to think your plan is to murder me, what’s with all the secrey?”

He grinned, teeth flashing “you said you trusted me.” 

You rolled your eyes but didn’t deny it, you did. You’d known Rafe Cameron so long and though you’d not always been close the two of you would always have shared memories, shared experiences. You’d always have time and that meant something. 

Rafe led you up to his room, taking your hand once more in the dark corridors and you had to press a hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter as he dramatically acted out a spy mission to make you laugh. “Coasts clear” he whispered in your ear before slowly moving around the wall. 

“You’re a dork,” you whispered back.

In his room Rafe gestured for you to take a seat on his bed. “I need twenty minutes” he said “to set it all up, then I promise I'll reveal it all.” 

“Okay” you said “i'll wait.”

He raised his eyebrow “that’s it? No begging, no more questions?”

You smirked “nope, I get twenty minutes to snoop at all your stuff…find out all your deepest darkest secrets Rafe Cameron.”

He rolled his eyes “good luck” he said and then swiftly left the room. 

For the first five minutes you sat on his bed just waiting but time always seems to move slower when you’re in anticipation and soon you couldn’t take it anymore. At first you checked Instagram, shooting off a like at Sarah’s latest post prom selfie featuring John B, resisting the urge to check your exes social media. Then you put your phone down and tried to wait again. But curiosity got the better of you. Is it wrong if you told him you were going to do it? Fuck it. A little bit of light snooping wouldn’t hurt. 

Rafe’s room was almost suspended in time. It was pretty much entirely as he’d left it before leaving for college so the pictures and books were slightly outdated but still him. The basketball hoop on the wall, the old forgotten guitar from his musical phase. The surfboard still chipped from that one party where Kelsey Stevens had tripped and knocked a keg into it. Above the desk were several old snapshots.Topper and Kelce with their arms slung around him, his dad and him on a fishing trip, two of Wheezie one when she was a baby and little Rafe was holding her and one newer selfie with their tongues sticking out. What shocked you though was the photo of you. It was taken at Rafe’s highschool graduation. You and Sarah smirking at Rafe and giving him the finger except you were standing in front of Sarah who was slightly out of frame so the picture was mostly only you. You couldn’t believe he’d kept it and put it on his wall, that he’d even thought about you back then enough to think the photo worth printing. 

“Hey” Rafe said as he came back into the room “what are you doing?” 

“Nothing” you lied trying to look casual bracing against the wood.

He raised his eyebrow and you could tell he didn’t believe you, once more you wondered what your tell was but he shrugged it off before you could ask.

“Come on,” he said, “the surprise is ready.”

You were led back to the garage and Rafe stood behind you as you reached out for the door handle, slipping his hand over your eyes.

“3, 2, 1…okay you can open them” he said, taking his hand away. 

Slowly you blinked open your eyes and instantly fought the tears that sprung to the surface. The garage was covered in silky blue and purple streamers, the floor dotted with balloons. It was like you’d opened your eyes and stepped into the past and you could almost see the tiny younger versions of you and Sarah playing ‘prom’. 

“Oh my god” you whispered.

“Do you like it?” Rafe asked, sounding a little more uncertain than his usual cocky self. 

You laughed, still in disbelief “do I like it…Rafe I love it, did you really do all this for me?”

He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly “yeah I mean…yeah I wanted you to have a prom more like the one you deserved and I know it's nothing special but at least this way it's yours” he swallowed “kinda stupid I know but -”

You cut off his ramble by throwing your arms around his neck “it's not stupid” you murmured into his shirt as you blinked away the tears “it's perfect…who ever knew you could be this sweet Rafe Cameron.”

You felt the laughter in his chest as you pulled away to look at him “I guess i've just always had a soft spot for you ace” he said tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, his eyes were so blue and so soft that for a moment you froze and the air was thick with tension between the two of you until rafe cleared his throat. “But erm don’t tell anyone or anything don’t wanna risk ruining my tough guy reputation” he joked and you rolled your eyes. 

“Il get some drinks” he said and you wandered around the garage looking around the decoration. You remembered the streamers, the paper parasol, the silver hanging stars like it were yesterday. “Prom” had been your favourite game and you and Sarah would beg and beg Mr Cameron to put up the decorations. Sometimes he made Rafe do it and Rafe would grumble and complain, wishing to go back to some video game or his skateboard. It was fun to think about what your reaction would have been back then if you’d have known that one day Rafe would voluntarily put these up for you. 

While you were looking the music started and you laughed when you heard the song. Back in the day you had the highest just dance score to this, it was shocking and exhilarating all at once to know that Rafe had held onto all these tiny little details about you, that he’d even noticed them in the first place. 

“Still know the moves Ace?” he called out, half teasing smirk present on your face and you flipped him off. 

“I'm gonna need a couple of drinks before we get into that, Cameron.”

He smirked “you’re in luck” and held up a bottle of champagne that looked like it cost more than your car. 

“Rafe!” your eyes widened “where the hell did you get that from.”

“Wine cellar” he shrugged “they won’t notice it’s gone.”

You hesitated “it looks expensive…”

“Oh c’mon” he said “it’s your prom night live a little.”

You bit your lip, you weren’t adverse to drinking it was more so the idea of stealing one of Ward and Rose’s premium celebration champagne bottles but there was something about Rafe that made you wanna throw caution to the wind. This was your prom night, the last night of your adolescent life before you were thrown into a whole new world of college parties and guys and cities you wouldn’t remember.  It was the night you’d looked forward to your whole life and your stupid ex had ruined it…well you weren’t going to let him.

“Oh what the hell” you said and took the bottle from his hand. 

The first sip of champagne was sweet and fruity as it fizzed on your tongue and you giggled as you passed the bottle back. This was where the memory of the night got a little hazy, you remembered drinking the bottle fairly fast and then convincing Rafe that you needed to spike the punch “it's the classic prom experience.”

After that there was a lot of dancing with your hands in your hair, hips swinging, a lot of laughter echoing over the music, a lot of stories from both you and Rafe of the things that had happened while you’d been out of each other's lives. 

“No fucking way he crashed a yacht” you said “how does that even happen? bull shit Cameron.”

He held his hands up in a surrender position “im deadass, that's not even the wildest thing he did…college is kinda next level.”

You laughed into the rim of your cup “yeah…i'm excited for it.”

He arched his brow “are you sure about that? You didn’t sound so enthusiastic.”

You sighed and flapped your arm down dramatically “no no I am it’s just…” you’d not said this aloud before but the alcohol and the fact that there was just something about Rafe that made you want to open up. You’d known him your whole life and while he’d always been a little wild, a little unpredictable he felt like home to you. 

“I'm scared” you admitted.

He turned to face you, long legs brushing the bare skin showing through the slit of your dress “why?” he asked “the whole time ive known you you’ve always dreamed of the future” he nudged your arm gesturing around you “about prom, about your first kiss, about high school…hell I even remember you being excited about your first job at the country club. what's different about this?” 

You swallowed, not quite meeting his eye and he reached out and touched your hand “you can trust me” he whispered “I won’t tell.” 

“It wasn’t what I thought it would be” you blurted out “I I -” the anger and the sadness and the inexplicable feeling that you could never go back burst over you and it all came out at once, the emotion thick and raw in your voice  “I dreamed and I dreamed my whole - fucking - life and nothing ever worked out like it was supposed to. I mean look at tonight, the dream boyfriend, the dream prom and he turned out to be a cheating asshole and I left the prom in tears.” Your voice turned to defeat as a single tear slipped out “I - I just sometimes wonder what's the point in dreaming anymore? And then I'm scared because I don’t know what’s gonna happen…nothing happens how it’s supposed to.”

“Look at me” Rafe murmured and his voice was softer than you’d ever heard it before, you looked up and he used the pad of his thumb to gently swipe the tear away “you’re right, nothing happens how it’s supposed to. I was supposed to join Cameron Enterprises yet when I finish college next year? I'm telling my dad I'm doing something else.”

You wrinkle your brow “but - wasn’t that your dream? Did you fail an -”

He cut you off “I could join dads company tomorrow if I wanted to, that was my dream but not anymore.” he squeezed your hand, voice still uncharacteristically soft “life changes all the time ace and sometimes it’s fucking scary but we just get new dreams, new things to hope for and sometimes they come true and sometimes they’re not what we thought they’d be but they always lead to new things. So high school wasn’t what you thought, so your boyfriend wasn’t what you thought, well maybe college and maybe the next guy lucky enough to have your heart will be 1000% times better but how will you know if you give up on it all before it even begins.”

For a moment you were quite mulling over his words and you found that some of the fear and anxiety squeezing your heart relented, the tension easing out of your body. “When did you get so wise Rafe Cameron” you sighed.

“Don’t be fooled” he winked “I'm still an idiot.”

You threw a hand over your heart “was that a confession? Can I get that in writing?” 

“Shut up” he said and then you shrieked as he pulled you suddenly to your feet. “Dance with me.”

You’d been dancing all night but never touching. “Okay” you said a little nervously, looping your arms around his shoulders, he wrapped his around your waist. The song was still quite upbeat, the dance not as intimate as a slow dance yet your heart hammered in your chest. 

You danced for three more songs, Rafe spinning you around like crazy until your insides hurt from laughing. Finally the song changed and your face lit up as you instantly recognised it as fool's gold by one direction. Rafe groaned, all too familiar with the song from the many times you and Sarah would belt it on the old tinny karaoke machine. 

Too drunk to be embarrassed you instantly launched into the performance, singing all the lyrics wholeheartedly while Rafe pretended to be exacerbated by the song, trying to hide how adorable he thought you were singing it. 

“C’mon” you shouted “I know you love it, sing along!”

“I don’t even know the lyrics” he lied but you dragged on his hand.

“Liar…you have a tell.”

He rolled his eyes “no you, have a tell.”

“Shut up” you laughed “c’mon sing don’t be boring.”

You sang the opening lines of the final chorus while Rafe stood stubbornly “And yes, I let you use me from the day that we first met…But I'm not done yet, Falling for you, fool's gooooold.”

You pointed to him dramatically then to your utter surprise and delight he (un-enthusiastically) sang the final lines “And I knew that you turned it on for everyone you've met. But I don't regret falling for you, fool's gold.”

“I knew you knew it!” you laughed clapping your hands together. 

“Whatever, whatever, I did it but now you owe me a slow dance.”

“What?” you protested “no, no, I didn’t agree to that!” you’d been artfully dodging slow dances all night, scared of your two left feet. 

“It's only fair” he said and before you could protest further he’d reached out and practically scooped you into his arms. You wrapped one hand in his, the other around his shoulder while his came onto your waist and laid your head on his chest.

“If I tread on your toes it’s your fault” you grumbled and you felt his laughter against your ear. 

It was then that you noticed the song playing “Time after time” by Cindy Lauper. It was a prom classic and as kids you’d danced with Sarah to it a million times “practising” for the real thing with your boyfriends. Tonight you’d watched Sarah and John B dance to it, her smile and joy radiant while you waited for a text back from your stupid ex. You’d have never dreamed all those years ago that you’d end your own prom night in the arms of her older brother dancing to this song. You’d dreamed of dancing with a million guys but somehow you knew none of it would have felt as perfect, as magical as this.

Laupers voice rang clear throughout the garage, the few balloons that had survived the earlier balloon fight kicking at your feet. “Suitcase of memories'' and your brain flashed through all the thousands of memories, the history you had with Rafe that had led you to here. 

The music continued 

‘If you're lost, you can look and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting’

You thought about how Rafe had shown up tonight when you were wandering feeling lost and alone. You thought about how earlier you’d been so close to falling into panic and his words had caught you, made you feel safe. It was just like the song, really your whole life he’d always been there in some way or another, time after time. 

“Rafe?” you whispered looking up from his chest. Your faces were so close you could count his eyelashes.

“Yeah?” his hot breath fanned your cheek, blue eyes clear and serious.

“Thank you for finding me tonight.”

His thumb brushed your cheek, grazing the corner of your lips “ it’s nothing” he said humbly but you shook your head.

“No no I -” you swallowed “I'm glad my prom was ruined.”

His eyebrow shot up and he opened his mouth but you cut him off “don’t look at me like that I am, because otherwise I wouldn’t have been here with you and this has been way better than any real prom could have been, way more special.”

He smiled, not his usual edge of the mouth smirk but a real bright smile “you know I didn’t really know where I was going when I found you on the side of that road” he brushed your cheek again, this time catching your lip and you couldn’t take your eyes off of him if you tried “and I don’t really believe in destiny or all that bullshit but…” his eyes softened and he leaned just a fraction closer “I can’t help but feel like I was supposed to be there to meet you, like being here right now is exactly where i'm supposed to be.” 

You laughed “me too” you admitted “me too…undreamed, unplanned, unexpected and somehow it's better than all the dreams.”

“Ace” he said your nickname with a slight urgency like his mind was moving faster than normal like he was trying to convince himself to do something.

“What is it?”

“Look up.”

You barely had a second to angle your chin before his lips were on yours and it only took a second more for you to respond and kiss him back. 

His lips were softer than you’d have thought and warm. The kiss was gentle and sweet and as you pulled away you both laughed part in shock and part in relief. “Was that okay?” he asked and you smiled.

“Kiss me again so I can be sure.”

This time, he kissed you like he meant it and you could taste the spiked punch on his tongue as his teeth grazed your bottom lip and the song pulled to a close.

Pulling yourself from your memories you turned to see Rafe looking at you from his position on the bed “why are you looking at me like that?” you asked shyly and he grinned.

“You have spinach in your teeth.”

“What?” your hand flew up to your mouth in a panic before your brain caught up that you’d not even eaten spinach and you rolled your eyes and threw a cushion from the floor at him. “Asshole.”

He laughed “sorry that was just too easy.”

“Whatever whatever.”

He raised his eyebrow “memories come back now?” 

You smiled, picking at a thread on the carpet “yeah…” you said softly “guess I just needed a min to come round.”

Rafe swallowed “do you still want to -” 

His question was cut off by a pounding on the door “Rafe get up!” Wheezie called “breakfast is ready!”

You both jumped looking at each other slightly startled. You’d not had time to tell Sarah anything yet, only just getting a chance to text your mom that you were staying at Sarah’s before you and Rafe crashed asleep tired from the partying. 

“Shit” you muttered “Sarah’s gonna kill me.”

“C’mon” Rafe grabbed your hand, pulling you up from the floor “i'll sneak you out.”

You tiptoed down the hallways of the Cameron house, trying not to laugh too loudly at Rafe when he acted out mission impossible sneaking round the bannister.

“You’re such a dork” you whispered and he squeezed your fingers.

“Just for you Ace.”

___________________

At the breakfast table Wheezie Cameron sat down next to her sister. 

“Did you shout your brother?” Ward asked and she nodded. He gave her a nod of his own before turning back to his conversation with Rose. She waited until they were thoroughly distracted before nudging Sarah’s knee under the table. 

“Rafes trying to sneak a girl out of his room” she whispered and Sarah’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

“Really? How d’ya know?”

“I heard them whispering before I shouted him.”

Sarah pulled a face “gross.” They stared at each other for five seconds and then burst out laughing, both dashing for the door in an attempt to see the girl Rafe was sneaking out.

____________________

You’d just reached the side door, Rafe reaching over to open it for you when the door to the kitchen burst open. 

You stood frozen like a deer in the headlights staring right into the eyes of your best friend and her little sister. 

Sarah’s mouth flopped open and you swallowed “hey s…”

“My brother?” she shrieked “my brother and you didn’t tell me?”

You caught Rose snickering into her orange juice behind them, Ward’s eyebrow raised in playful amusement. Wheezie looked as though she wanted a bowl of popcorn.

“I was gonna call you but -” 

She cut you off with another high pitched shriek “my brother? My brother and my best friend?”

You gulped and glanced at Rafe “erm i'm gonna go, Sarah il call you I promise!”

You got halfway down the steps when Rafe reached out and grabbed your arm “wait!” he shouted and you turned to face him.

“I never got to ask you…now that it’s morning do you still wanna go on that date we talked about last night?”

Your heart swelled “i'd love to…if, if you still wanna go that is.”

Rafe grinned and stepped closer “i'll be dreaming of it.”

“Sap” you teased, he glanced back at his family before muttering “fuck it they already know” and leaning down and kissing you. 

Butterflies soared in your stomach and you were so wrapped up in Rafe that you didn’t even hear Sarah say excitedly “wait! If they get married she’d really be my sister!” 

Moonlit Man.

Pairings: Rafe Cameron X F!Reader Warnings: Sex allusions, Strong Language, Suggestive content, Word Count: 2.5K Author's Note: This took on an entirely different direction than it was supposed to, but that's life. Went very poetic with this one, take it or leave it.

Summary: A hookup-only relationship that becomes more.

The golden shine of his back in the soft glow of the balcony lighting outside. He came late and left early - though she never minded. They simply enjoyed their time together, every few nights, sometimes a week, never more than a month.

His breathing was shallow, his back defined. Comforter hanging low on his hips, it was a surprise he wasn’t freezing. The large bay window had all 3 glass panes wide open, the sound of the beach whistling through the breeze that blew gently into the room. The wind carried away the smell of sex from mere hours before.

She never slept afterwards, she couldn’t. Not when she knew he’d expect her gone in the morning. So she would wait until he snored soundly, before slipping into her shoes and sliding out the back door. Sleek. Silent.

He only slept when she was there. He couldn’t otherwise. Not when her soft heartbeat didn’t provide rhythm for him to focus on. So he would shut his eyes tight and knock himself out before she had the chance to be gone.

She never really wanted to leave. And he never really wanted her to go. How they’d found themselves in this familiar routine, neither knew. Like clockwork, and neither questioned. A fear of it ceasing altogether if it were mentioned.

There was no talking, other than the small introductory necessity beforehand, or the sexy profession of need during. Just sex. They knew each other’s names and mobile numbers. She knew he lived at Tannyhill, and he knew that she was a local. They were just sex, some light banter, and a guaranteed ride home at the end of a drunken night.

That was all.

Until it wasn’t. He’d looked her up. Breaking their unspoken arrangement. He searched instagram, he asked his friends, he’d almost near hired a private investigator when his seach turn up nothing. Her name like a needle in a haystack. Like an earring back in a freshly dug bed of soil. As if she never existed.

She did of course. It was so easy to block someone on social media. So easy to stay on a certain side of the island where one is reluctant to step foot. So easy to know where best to go on the odd occasion that one does. So easy to stay an elusive part of Rafe Cameron’s life, and carry no consequence for his action. How she liked it. No strings attached.

But despite a lack of strings, people can find other ways to be entwined. Feelings can be caught, and laughs shared. Snippets of memories, and drunken honesty. Over their short period of time together, they’d grown to enjoy the company. In ways that werent just late nights. Him sleeping first, and her slipping out.

This night were no different, and as his breath gently tickled her neck, she crept from his king sized bed as she’d done countless times before. Her underwear slid over her legs, dress over her head. She carried her shoes and jacket down the stairs of the large home. Quiet so as not to wake any of it’s other inhabitants.

The rest of her clothes were briskly added once she reached the front landing. The same path each time. Left step, right step, dodge the creaky floorboard, and out the old servants' quarter's door. It was in the house's original design to be the quietest area, so that the Plantation’s staff could once enter and exit without disruption to their masters. Perfect for her need.

She opens it, careful to dodge the miscellaneous boxes strewn about. Evidently where the family’s random items were collected. She knew that the baseball bat must’ve been Rafe's and that the dolls would have belonged to a pair of sisters she’d only heard traces of. But, as much as she’d happily let Rafe tell her all, she knew it was best to keep their paths clear and uncrossing.

“The front door is closer, you know.”

She jumps at the surprising voice, turning quickly to be met by her moonlit man. Hand clutching pearls, she steadys herself.

“Thought you were sleeping.” She states.

“I was” Rafe replies, rubbing the back of his neck, still shining with the lightest layer of sweat.

She pauses for a moment, unsure of what to say. “Oh, then I’m sorry to wake you.”

They look at eachother. Him directly at her eyes. Her at his shoulder, avoiding his direct gaze. They spoke sometimes, but not often, and never afterwards.

“You forgot your earrings.”

“Oh,” She breathes, “Thanks.”

She hold her hands out, expectant for the boy to place the studded pearls in her grasp. He doesn’t. “I left them upstairs.” He apologises, opening his fingers to show her his empty palms.

She just nods, “I’ll get them next time.”

There would be a next time, after all, there always was.

He clears his throat, “Sorry.”

A smile without teeth, and a curt nod. These were the most words they’d uttered to one another at a single time. At least not for those moaned, or whispered under bedsheets.

She turns to leave through the open doorway. Eager to be home before the cold took over too much. Laden in nothing but the thin jacket, shoe and satin dress she wore out the night before. 

“You never answered my question.”

He catches her on the doorstep.

“Servants' quarter's door is the quietest place in the house.” She explains, “Slave owners liked not to be disturbed early in the morning.”

“Are you calling me a slave owner?”

“No!” she apologised, “I just meant it’s the quietest way out of the house.”

Typically, an air of confidence surrounded her. Conviction in uncertainty. She could pretend to be someone she was not, especially to those who knew no different. Her insecurity slips out. The strong bravado once built, comes tumbling down. 

He enjoyed this side of her. Sweet, clumsy. He seldom saw it.

“Is that why I never hear you leave?”

“I wait until you’re sleeping.”

“Why don’t you just stay?”

The question throws her for a loop. Caught off guard, she can only stutter and answer. 

“I have things to do?”

It comes out as more of a question than an answer.

“At 3am?”

She just nods, jacket pulled even tighter around her shivering body. She wants nothing more than to leave as usual.

“Why don’t you exist outside of my bedroom?”

It’s bold. It’s new. It’s nothing she ever expected to hear him say. It’s unlike anything Rafe Cameron has ever asked. It scared her. Shocked her into silence.

Any normal person would find words at that moment. Even something as simple as ‘I don’t know’. Yet, she stood, mouth agape, no sound coming out.

“I’d like it if you did.” He follows.

An admittance. A moment of pluckiness. An opportunity to spark a new light in their relationship. Testing the waters of whether or not they could be more. Whether he could have her full address. Whether she could stay over for the night.

But, her confidence is out of the window, and he needs his ego bruised a bit.

She just turns and walks away instead. Silent, except for her feet crunching the gravel path. Leaving Rafe alone at the servant's quarter’s door, which he never even knew existed. She runs from Tannyhill Plantation, and away from the man who she simply saw for sex.

Regret fills them both but for different reasons. She wishes she spoke to him. She wishes she stayed, she wished her confidence did too. She wishes that he kept sleeping and that she hadn’t forgotten her earrings. He wishes he’d offered to take her home. He wishes he’d just let her leave so that he’d know she’d come back. He wishes he’d never asked her for more than that. 

He goes back to his bedroom, and she to hers. Pulling covers up tight around her shoulders, she nods off securely in her own bed. Rafe tossed and turns as the warmth leaves the spot next to him. His bed grew colder as hers grew warmer.

-

The next time they spoke was a mere week later. Both tired of their hand, and longing for the other. Rafe was the first to fold.

Wednesday, March 11th at 09:58pm.

RAFE Can we ignore what I said? I think I was still a bit high.

Wednesday, March 11th at 10:04pm.

Y/N That makes sense. Okay. RAFE I need you. Y/N Me too. RAFE I’ll pick you up? Y/N I’ll meet you at yours. RAFE Okay.

Message read at 10:12pm.

A round trip of Kildare Island will take you an hour and a half at most, and although he didn’t know much about her, he knew she drove. No matter where she stayed on this small island, she would have been with him after 45 minutes. And he’d known from past times that she always pulled into the driveway after 22. So when the clock struck 11pm, that is when Rafe began to worry.

He worried that she’d chosen to walk. He worried that she’d gotten into a car crash and died. But, most of all, he worried that she’d changed her mind. That she wasn’t coming. He text her again.

Wednesday, March 11th at 11:16pm.

RAFE You on your way?

The speech bubble that popped up soothed him. She was alive. The fact that it came and went a few times put him on edge. What was she going to say?

Y/N No. RAFE What do u mean?

He tries to call her. The number rings once before sounding the dial tone. She clicks the decline button, hands running over her thighs.

RAFE Answer your phone. RAFE Please RAFE Have I done something? Are you in trouble? Y/N I’m fine. Why would I be in trouble? RAFE Why aren’t you coming?

Wednesday, March 11th at 11:22pm.

Y/N We’re getting too attached. RAFE We’re not. RAFE I promise.

Wednesday, March 11th at 11:29pm.

Y/N We are. And that’s okay, It’s just not what I want. Y/N It’s not what either of us want, really RAFE We’re literally not geytung attached RAFE getting*

Wednesday, March 11th at 11:38pm.

Y/N Rafe, u searched me up. You asked around for me.

He draws his cigarette. A sharp breath in and a gentle one out. Contemplating his next message. Unable to deny his actions, but embarrassed by the reason behind them.

Y/N You’re literally still wake at 1AM waiting for me to come around.

Y/N

Waiting on your fucking porch for me Y/N And I know for fact that you have other numbers in your phone that you can call instead.

His eyes snap up. Scanning the darkness for a set of headlights. How else would she know he was here?

RAFE Where are you parked? Y/N Wdym? RAFE You know i’m on my porch, which means you’re here. Where are you? Y/N Lucky guess. RAFE Don’t believe you. Y/N You should. Y/N I’m at home.  Y/N I just know what you’re doing right now because we’re getting too close. RAFE Is it really such a bad thing RAFE That i want to see you RAFE That i like you?

Wednesday, March 11th at 11:45pm.

Y/N You like my pussy RAFE Well yes RAFE But I want to know you Y/N

The speech bubble appears again before it leaves. It doesn’t show up for the rest of the evening. Or the following day. Or the next week. Month. Three Months.

-

Her life goes back to normal. His does too, only emptier. Her friends see her more, his see him less. She tries to forget about Rafe Cameron, and what it felt like to be beneath his sheets. He is plagued with thoughts of the girl who didn’t want him back. The first of her kind.

Kildare’s annual bonfire was the one chance he had of seeing her again. It was how they’d met the year previous. The first night of many stolen kisses and rumpled bedsheets. 

Rafe had considered that the fact he’d never seen her, or that none of his friends had heard of her, might be because she was a pogue. He’d never thought to ask, and ultimately he’d started not to care. But it was underlying in his mind as he sipped a beer next to the bonfire. Using its flame to illuminate the face of every girl gone past. None of which her's.

He’d tried texting her. Called once or twice whilst drunk. But never got an answer. And he’d never admit it, but he missed her. Missed her almost as much as he did his own mother. A casual hook-up held the same weight in his heart as an absent parent. The one who got away.

Except, she never really got away. Because, she was never his in the first place. He can’t lose something he never had. He can’t have something that never wanted to be his. Rafe bullied himself into the ground for screwing up the opportunity. 

She did the same for a while. Thinking, and thinking about what might have been. She’d dream of white dresses, and bearing children. She’d wonder what he was doing, who he was seeing. If he’d gotten over her. She’d convinced herself he had. She’d convinced herself he didn’t care for her anymore. She’d convinced herself that he wouldn’t even be at this stupid bonfire this year, and that the fact that she was going was stupid in itself.

But she’d do anything to at least see him again. Even if it were just the back of his shoulders, glistening in the low light of outside his bedroom window.

Maybe if she got the chance again, she’d stay. Maybe if he got the chance again, he’d keep her with him.

She sat at the bonfire. Eyes hurting from the smoke that blew her way. Unbeknownst that the very man she’d come for was exactly adjacent. Hidden by the burning embers, and floating orange ribbons. The fire died slowly as she pulled her phone out. Biting the bullet and sending the text.

Thursday, June 25th at 11:57pm.

Y/N Are you here?

An answer comes quickly.

RAFE Yes. Are you? Y/N I wouldnt have said ‘here’ if I wasn’t 

He missed her quick wit. She missed his dumb questions.

RAFE Where? Y/N Meet me by the big rock? Y/N They’re away to put the fire out.

He rises quickly, avoidant of the poured water buckets that smother the once-roaring flames. It sizzles and hisses with the drastic change in temperature, but he can barely hear it over the thundering of his own heart. Rafe practically sprints to the rock, the phone still in hand.

She follows, catching a glimpse of him for the first time in so long. He has his back turned, it feels strangely poetic. The light of flame is replaced by that of the moon, and she watches Rafe in a familiar state. Broad shoulders outlined by blue shimmer.

The open horizon of the beach feels like Rafe’s bedroom window. He takes a seat, back still turned to her. His phone in hand as he begins to draft a text. No doubt asking where she is. She fights every urge to make as she normally would, and slip away. But, they both fight their vices.

Rafe's eyes stay firmly open, as he turns to the sound of her footsteps. Hers close tight as she sits next to him, head resting on his shoulder.

Time after time | R.C

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: When your boyfriend ditches you on the night of senior prom you end up running into the last person you would ever expect to see, Rafe Cameron, your best friends older brother who you haven't seen since he left for college three years ago…

Originally posted: 06/05/2023

Series Masterlist | Part two (coming Saturday)

_________

The sidewalk was cold, hard and uncomfortable to sit on but you barely felt it, too consumed by the swirl of unrelenting emotions threatening to overtake you. It was supposed to be the best - the most magical night of your life but instead it had been one long disaster.

Salty tears stung your eyes and made your phone screen blurry as you read the text response from your mom “sorry sweetie, I had to cover someone’s shift, can you get a ride home with Sarah?”

You swallowed and the action felt like glass in your throat “sure” you text back “see you later” as you thought about the fact that Sarah had already left, speeding off in Topper's shiny jeep with a smile brighter than the stars. 

She was happy, her prom had been perfect. Her date had shown up, bought her a corsage, danced with her all night long, all things that you couldn’t say had happened to you. And though you’d tried to have fun dancing with your friends the night had been ruined before it even began with your boyfriend's words swirling through your brain “Listen I just have better things to do than going to a stupid high school prom okay? I'll make it up to you.” 

That was what you got for dating a college guy… ”stupid high school prom” but it hadn’t felt stupid to you, you’d been dreaming of this day for what felt like your whole life. You had a binder full of dress ideas before you’d even finished middle school and dreams in your head about the perfect night with the perfect date. Josh had seemed like that guy, tall, a little older, handsome and sweet (only when he wanted something, your mind supplied in hindsight) but he’d ditched you after promising he’d be there and he hadn’t even bothered to tell you until the day of. 

A burst of anger swept through you knocking the air from your lungs and you swiped the tears from your cheeks as you unblocked your phone, pulling up his contact and hitting “block”. He’d known what this night meant to you and if he wanted to put a stupid frat party over you then you were done. 

You felt a strange mixture of sadness and relief as you saw his contact flash away, the delete button pressed. You realised that he’d never really been the dream boyfriend you’d wished that he was, that you were better off without him but it didn’t take the hurt away…the knowledge that you’d never get a do over for this night.

You stood up from the sidewalk, unhooking your heels and tying the straps around your wrist - if you were going to walk home you might as well do it semi comfortably. The concrete was cold under your toes and goosebumps flecked your arms with the breeze, it was an unseasonably cold day in the outer banks and you felt like it was just yet another slight the universe was throwing at you that you had to walk home, freezing in your dress. The perfectly miserable end to the perfectly miserable night. 

The walk was long but the streets were empty, everyone locked away neatly in their houses sleeping happily or basking in the afterglow of post prom parties. It seemed like you really were the only one left and the darkness seemed extra vast for it, the orange street lamps luminance making everything look a shade more eerie. But then you heard the roar of an engine and you crossed your arms over your chest protectively, pointedly not looking its way, hoping it would pass you by quickly. 

But the vehicle didn’t speed ahead, it slowed down and eventually you were forced to turn to the side to see that the bike had stopped beside you and the driver turned your way, removing his helmet. 

Your heart sped up and skipped a beat, was this day really so terrible that on top of everything else you were about to get kidnapped too? You were completely and utterly alone on the dark side street and you wondered if running would make any difference to your fate but then the helmet was off and your eyes went wide, mouth gasping as you realised who it was. 

“Rafe Cameron?” you asked, he looked different, more muscular, older, sexier your mind supplied. Though you weren’t sure why that shocked you. After all it had been almost three years since he’d gone off to college and you’d last seen him. 

The corners of his mouth turned up in a grin, his own eyes widening and flicking up and down your frame appreciatively. Your cheeks heated up and you turned away from his striking eyes. 

“Y/N L/N? Is that you?” he asked the slight edge of disbelief in his voice “what are you doing here?”

Your eyebrow quirked up, amused at his question “well I live in the obx…it’s not unheard of for me to walk down the street you know, question is what are you doing here?”

You knew from Sarah that Rafe didn’t come home often, mostly only when he was obligated to like at holidays and even then his presence wasn’t guaranteed. 

He shrugged “would you believe it if I said that I was homesick?” 

“Not really.”

“Fair enough.”

There was silence for a beat and then you blurted out “you look good by the way, really good” your eyes went wide as you realised what you’d just said out loud “I-I just mean college suits you…you look healthy. ”

You cringed internally at your choice of words, healthy? Seriously? Exchange a few sentences with him and suddenly you were back to the stuttering, blushing sixteen year old fawning over her best friend's older brother and ‘heartbroken’ when he left for college. Even the memory of it made you cringe.

“Healthy?” Rafe repeated a teasing smirk pulling at his lips as he seemingly knew what you had really meant.

You swallowed quickly “yeah…”

He laughed, the mirth reaching his eyes and you couldn’t help but laugh a little bit too.

“Well you look hot .”

Your cheeks flamed and he grinned “ smoking hot…what happened to my little sister's annoying best friend?” 

You looked down at the tires of his bike trying not to let him see your smile “you left…she grew up…that’s how time works you know.”

“Really? Thanks for the lesson…hope she didn’t forget about me though…”

“Oh she didn’t think of you once” you said, flashing him a teasing smirk your conscience laughing at the blatant lie…he had crossed your mind more than a few times over the past 3 years…the fact you checked his long abandoned facebook every couple of months was proof of that, but it wasn’t something that he needed to know. 

He threw a hand over his heart “ahh still annoying I see but you wound me.”

“So you thought about me then?”

“Everyday and night, ace.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the long forgotten nickname from childhood (a relic of your slight obsession with the pet detective movies) and you looked down coyly “oh I believe you, bet you have a shrine to me in your dorm don’t you?”

He stuck his tongue in his cheek to stop his laugh and nodded seriously “with candles.”

You giggled “you’re an ass Rafe Cameron.”

“And you’re a dork Y/N L/N.”

There was another, more comfortable pause of silence until Rafe interrupted, repeating his question from earlier.

“So what are you doing here?”

You shrugged “walking home, my moms got the car.”

He frowned “it’s prom night though.”

“So?”

“Well shouldn’t you be off having fun at an after party, sucking face with your date or whatever people do after prom? I know it's been a while since I was in high school but I'm pretty sure people don’t just go home alone.” 

You sighed “I just…didn’t feel like it I guess.” 

He crossed his arms over his chest and your eyes instinctively followed the movement of his muscles flexing against his white t-shirt.

“I don’t buy it” he shook his head slowly “you are the same girl who would dress up in a disney princess dress and decorate the living room to watch prom movies all weekend, right?”

You pressed your hands to your face groaning “ oh my god …yes that was me but I would like to remind you that i'm not nine anymore, thank you very much. I can’t believe you remember that.”

He laughed “Are you kidding? Of course I do, you and Sarah monopolised the tv every weekend I could never watch monster truck racing.” 

“Oh the horror” you said sarcastically.

 “No but seriously what happened, why are you all alone?”

Your heart sped up a little “nothing” you lied but you couldn’t look him in the eye. 

“C’mon” he urged you “it’s me , you can tell me.”

You sighed and turned your head away acting like watching a sparrow hopping across a telephone wire was the most interesting thing to look at. 

“y/n…this is prom , it isn’t right that you’re just going home. Where’s Williams?” 

You turned to him with surprise, you didn’t realise he knew the name of your boyfriend, but you shrugged it off thinking that Sarah must have told him. 

“He didn’t come.”

Rafe’s eyebrows shot up “ what ? Your boyfriend didn’t come to prom how -”

You cut him off, wincing at the word boyfriend “ex actually.”

“Since when?”

You shrugged again, holding up your phone “since I blocked him about 20 minutes ago?”

Rafe’s eyebrows shot up so far they practically reached his hairline and he leaned against his bike with a look of confusion and shock “listen ace, you’re gonna have to give me a little more, what happened?”

You deflated with a heavy sigh you didn’t want to hash it back out, you already felt stupid for feeling so upset in the first place over prom and you didn’t want Rafe to see that too.  “Why does it matter?” you asked dejectedly.

“Because” Rafe said, “if i'm gonna put him in the hospital anyway i'd like to at least be able to give an explanation to the cops.”

Before you could help yourself you were laughing, pressing a hand to your lips to stifle the giggles when you saw he was deadly serious, leaning against his bike with a look of fury and righteousness on your behalf. 

“You can’t beat him up Rafe.”

“Why not?”

“Assault is kind of illegal just in case you weren’t aware” you teased and he rolled his eyes. 

“I'd still do it for you.”

You smiled, looking down at your shoes as you said softly “I know.” 

Before you could register the movement he’d stepped closer and you felt the blood rush to your cheeks as you registered the enticing scent of his cologne and his fingertips briefly  brushed your skin as he reached out to tuck a flyaway strand of hair behind your ears. 

“Ace” he said gently and you looked up momentarily stunned by just how blue the shade of his eyes were, like the ocean bathed in the glow of the moon “c’mon it's me, tell me what happened.”

Just like that your walls crumbled and before you could stop them the words were tumbling from your lips, tripping over one another as they rushed out “he ditched me…he promised that he’d come and then he text me 20 minutes before he was supposed to get here that he wasn’t coming, he didn’t wanna miss party of the year in his stupid frat or whatever and I guess I just feel so stupid for trusting him…for letting him ruin everything and…”

You had more to say but the words clogged in your throat, lips choking on them until all that came out was a sob as your eyes filled with hot tears and you didn’t have a second to feel mortified that you were crying in front of Rafe Cameron, Rafe Cameron who you’d loved since the moment you’d set eyes on him, because he reached out and folded you into his arms and you instinctively leaned into his embrace. 

He smelt like cedarwood and pine and the faint scent of the leather jacket that he'd worn earlier but most of all he smelt like home. Like fresh laundry and hugs that took your breath and your fears away. “It's okay” he murmured, stroking a large hand through your hair and you felt the pins keeping the style in place fall out the locks tumbling over your shoulders and making you feel surprisingly free and for a half a second you laughed wondering what mini you and mini Rafe would have made of the two of you actually getting on for once. 

“I'm sorry” you murmured, mortified by the tears, and if you were being honest a tiny bit of mascara, staining his white t-shirt but he just shook his head.

“You have nothing to be sorry for ace.”

You groaned, hiding your face in the comfort of his chest. “I do, I'm being so pathetic…it’s just a stupid high school dance.” 

He pulled you away from his chest but kept the contact, his arms warm and firm on your shoulders as he made you look at him and the sincerity on his face. 

“You are not pathetic” he said and when you shook your head he gripped your shoulders harder “no listen to me you’re not, he’s the pathetic one because he could have been spending his night with a beautiful, smart, funny girl and instead he gave all that up.”

You tried your hardest not to blush, his words filling you with warmth but making you shy at the same time. “And if you won’t let me kick his ass will you at least compromise and let me run him over with my car?”

You snorted and then nodded slowly “okay but you have to call the ambulance afterwards.”

He grinned and reached out to shake your hand “deal.”

He bumped his shoulder against yours, his eyes sparkling against the darkness of the night “there’s that pretty smile.”

“Shut up” you mumbled, flushing, and he grinned harder. 

Suddenly he was pulling away and before you register what he was doing he’d grabbed his leather jacket from where it was slung around the handlebars and wrapped it carefully around your shoulders and you smiled at him grateful that he’d noticed you were cold. 

His jacket was soft and best of all it smelt like him and you couldn’t stop yourself from closing your eyes and enjoying that comforting smell if you’d tried. 

“Hey daydreamer” his shout pulled you from your reverie and you saw he’d kickstarted the engine on the bike “c’mon i'll give you a ride.”

Your eyes went wide and he smirked “on that ?”

“you scared?” he taunted lightly “what you don’t think you could handle a bike, ace?”

“Are you challenging me Rafe Cameron?”

He shrugged “maybe” and you grinned.

“Oh fuck it” you said as you swung a leg over the bike and he positioned your arms so that they were wrapped tightly around his waist.

“Don’t forget to hold on” he called out and then suddenly you were flying….

Or at least it felt like you were flying, you’d never been on a motorbike before and you quickly discovered that it was fun, the wind rushed around you like you were a speeding bullet and the trees shading the coast blurred into dark green shapes. It was thrilling and fast and you buried your face into Rafe’s back resisting the urge to whoop like you were on a rollercoaster. 

“You missed the turn in for my street!” you shouted after a while and you felt rather than heard his laughter. 

“I never said I was taking you home ace, the night is still young.”

And you thought that maybe this tragic, horrible, miserable night might not end as such a tragedy after all.

headcanons on rafes favorite positions

18+ only!! smut under the cut

missionary

above all, he likes to look at your face

the way your eyes roll back in your head, and mouth falls open 

he loves the way your boobs bounce with his every thrust

and the way you look so tiny underneath him

his favorite is when you wrap your legs around his waist, not allowing him to pull out as he floods you with his cum

doggy style

again, he likes to see your face, so he prefers to fuck you in doggy when he has a mirror to watch your reactions

when he isnt able to do that, his eyes stay on your ass

watching the way his cock slides in and out of you as he leaves red marks on your ass

pronebone

when rafe is really pent up, needing to get all of his anger and energy out, he pushes you flat against the bed

your legs stay closed tight, squeezing his cock so tightly he always cums too quickly, but its perfect for getting all his frustrations out

his hips will pound into your ass, an obscene slapping sound echoing throughout the room

he loves to pull out and cum all over your ass and back, always getting turned on and ready to go again by seeing you covered in his cum

cowgirls helper

rafe isnt one to give up control, not even to you, so the closest he will get to letting you ride him is when he can also thrust up into you, hands on your ass, helping you move up and down

he likes having you balance with your hands on his chest, loving how small they look on his pecs

he alternates between slow and shallow thrusts and pushing you down onto his cock, making him reach unreal depths inside of you

ballet dancer

he prefers fucking you when hes got a surface to lay you down on, but occasionally he wont be able to hold himself back while in public, pulling you to any semi private place

he will hoist one leg around his waist while he thrusts into you, using his other hand to rub your clit

it gives him the perfect opportunity to kiss you, as well as leave bites on your neck, knowing when you finally head back around other people that his scent isnt going to be the only thing marking you

convalescence — pt. 6 — you are my home: vol. two

↳PAIRING: frat!rafe cameron x fem!!reader

↳SUMMARY: after getting rafe home, you experience both sadness + bliss simultaneously.

↳WARNINGS: [5.0k] 18+, mature themes, THIS CHAPTER HAS SMUT AT THE END; creampie, riding - cowgirl style, mentions of the word good girl, emotional sex, electric love making, medical lingo, violence, hurt/comfort, mentions of an accident, major trauma and injuries, scared reader, angst, comfort, soft!rafe, anxiety, ptsd, heartbreak, childhood best friends to lovers, mentions of surgery, comforting rafe, mentions of nostalgia, court proceedings, mentions of sexual assault, eventual smut, etc.

↳A/N: this is a repost from my old blog @tee-swizzle. all of my works are being reposted to this one + the previous blog has been deactivated. moodboard by: @wildflwrdarlin

The ride to your apartment is mostly silent save for Rafe’s grunts and grimace’s each time Ward does his best to avoid the potholes in the asphalt, but fails miserably. Rafe can feel the grinding of the asphalt against the wheels of the car in between his ears, despite the pain medication you talked him into taking in an effort to make the short drive more tolerable. You look at him in the mirror from where you sit in the backseat and notice that he looks rather green and Ward’s guilt stricken eyes meet yours in the same reflection as he hits another and a burst of anger rumbles from the pits of his belly. 

“I’m so sorry, bud. I swear to God the governor is going to hear about this. This is ridiculous!”

Rafe’s pained giggle both warms you and cuts you into pieces simultaneously. 

“You hear that, sweet girl? He's gonna call the governor of the state because we were inconvenienced.” 

He mocked his father, laughing. You smiled at his antics. 

“It’s rather silly, isn’t it?” 

You chimed in, meeting wards eyes again in the mirror, throwing a wink his way. He smiled warmly in response. Knowing your wink meant “he’s laughing, let him have this” — and so he did. You’d missed the sweet symphony of his laugh. Your entire body’s new accustomed tensed nature seemed to deflate at the sound. Ward took notice of it, smiling to himself at the realization that it was a super power only his sweet son seemed to possess. Long gone were Rafe's days of sadness and addiction at the wake of his mother’s death. Instead, his psyche had healed and he’d become the man that he always hoped he would; a man you deserved. He gripped Rafe’s thigh in an effort to brace him as the car in front of them came to a dead stop, slamming on its breaks. Ward’s attempts were futile, Rafe’s yelp the most disturbing sound he’d ever heard. 

“I know, buddy. I’m so sorry.” 

His apology was deeply embedded in his irises, as if it was his fault the moron in front of you didn’t know how to drive. 

“It’s okay, Ward. Let’s just get him home as fast and as safely as possible.” 

The emphasis in your words gutted him, but he knew you were right – that Rafe needed to be at home in the safety of your arms and your satin sheets. He watched as your hands wrapped around the seat in front of you, delicate fingers gracing the sun kissed skin of your boy. He melted under your grazing, fingertips sending a chill across his broken spine. 

“Just wait til’ I can get you home, pretty girl. Swear i’m gonna do ya s’right.” 

He said, seemingly not caring that his father was in front of you. Ward stifled back a laugh, assuming it had to be the numerous medications running through his veins. That’s the only thing that explains a statement so brazen. 

“Is that right? I think it’s the other way around, Cameron. I think I’m the one that’s got something special waiting just for you.” 

You said and Rafe’s sloppy, drunk, hazy smile did you in. You winked at Ward as his eyes met yours in the rearview mirror. He didn’t even know what it was that you had in store for Rafe, but he knew you had asked him to stay in a hotel for the night and he knew that you were an angel and you were going to take care of his boy like you always did. 

—

Actually getting Rafe into the apartment was harder than you had anticipated. He clung to you with a vice grip as he listened to your voice instructing him, his usual habit of watching his feet when he walks unable to be performed. It made you want to scream and cry right there when you watched him try to jerk his eyes downward. You didn’t understand how his hope hadn’t been viscerated yet but then you remembered he was Rafe – he was your Rafe – and he was always going to have even a tiny sliver of hope. You’d make sure of that. 

“Just listen to my voice, baby. Don’t try to look down, you’re gonna hurt your neck.” 

You instructed. 

“M’kay.”

He mumbled, as you continued to guide him through the foyer of your apartment. Ward stood closely behind, making sure you knew he was ready to lend a hand if you’d need it. His hands hovered around the two of you from behind like he had a supersonic beam protecting you from afar, molding you where you were in a bubble of safety. Ward had always been protective of the two of you. You did him in with your bright eyes and bouncing curls tied back into a bow the day his seven year old son came home holding your hand in his. He tells people he knew at that moment that he’d always protect you, but he knows that isn’t true. He knows that in that moment Rafe knew. But, he’s not sure which moment in which he knew that you were his new daughter, there’s far too many to name. Not many people meet their soulmate when they’re in the second grade, but he was so glad that you did. As you hone in on the couch, the promise of finally sitting makes Rafe ecstatic. He’s smiling despite the pain that’s written on his face when you pivot him and his back meets a very large pile of fluffy pillows. He’d always secretly cursed your ability to buy a new pillow for each holiday, but today he’s thankful as he relishes in the comfort of your decor addiction. You move back, Rafe’s hand still gripping your wrists, not yet wanting to let go. You marvel at the thought that he could be this hurt and still want nothing but your touch. 

“I need you to let me go so I can fix the pillows, sweet boy.” 

He grumbles at the mere notion of not touching you, which is extremely Rafe-centric and you seem to empathize with his antics instead of eliciting your normal giggle. 

“Do you have to?” 

He asks, bottom lip coming above his top one in his best attempt at a puppy pout. You’re sure he’ll start whimpering if you don’t give in to the dramatics now. Instead, you do what he usually does best – talk some sense into him. 

“I’m right here, baby. It would just make me feel less anxious if I know you’re comfortable and taken care of. Can you let me do that, please?” 

You lean down into his field of vision, his hands still gripping your wrists. He wonders how he could be so stupid, not to know how scared you still are. He can see it in your eyes as they scan his form, as they wonder if he’s real, if he’s still in front of you. Rafe’s never believed it when people say the eyes are the window to the soul, but he does now as he’s looking into yours and they look – sad. So, he puts his pout away and gives you his best smile. Sure, later, when things are less hectic and heavy, he will get you to talk to him about what happened to you. Because while he’s physically hurting, he knows the walls you’ve built up over the years will try to convince him that you’re mentally okay, that you’re not feeling an extension of his pain in your own body. But, he knows it's a lie – that’s the beauty of meeting your soulmate when you’re seven. 

“Okay, baby.” 

He replies, trying to nod again. Which, he knows the doctor told him is a no-no, but he can’t seem to help the way his body naturally responds to these situations, especially ones that you’re in with him. He can’t seem to break the habits or the sovereignty that these moments with you have over his life and he begins to wonder what would’ve happened had he not gotten another one. He watches you out of the corner of his eyes, his new favorite feat – because nothing can keep Rafe Cameron’s eyes off of you, not even the likes of a broken neck. Still, he watches as close as he can as your tan skin moves in sync with your hands, adjusting the pillows behind his head and back just the way the nurses had taught you. You took one pillow in particular and rolled it up before you put it behind his head in between his neck and the back side of his halo. They had instructed you that it would make him feel less like his head was floating, less like it was separated from his body. Naturally, anything that would provide him more comfort had become your forte, so you took their instructions and all they taught you very seriously, going as far as writing every meticulous instruction and detail in a notebook that you now kept on your person at all times. 

“How’s that?” 

You ask, your bright eyes searching his for any sign of discomfort. You let out a breath of relief as he presents you with a crooked, boyish smile. 

“It’s good, pretty girl. Can you come here already?” 

He asks and you grin cheekily, straddling his lap and plopping down gently. It feels good to touch him again and you marvel in it as you become hip to hip with the man you love. Your hands wrap around his biceps, who’ve not yet lost their muscle tone though you know it's coming. His brace doesn’t let you lay your head against the crook of his neck in the way you so desperately want to, so you settle with staring into his blue eyes. That is until someone clears their throat in awkward tension – that someone being Ward. 

“Oh, god! I’m sorry, Ward. I wasn’t thinking about you being here.” 

He starts laughing in response to your panicked tone as you quickly climb off of his son’s lap and scurry in front of him. You’re not sure why you’re stuttering over your own words or why you’re laced with fear at the notion that you did something you shouldn’t have in front of him. 

“I-I’m sorry.” 

You pleaded with him, wanting him to know that you were indeed sorry but his laughter catches you off guard and Rafe can hear you flick your gaze down to the floor like a puppy being scolded. He’d done his best to rid you of these habits that your father infiltrated your brain with, but some days were better than others and this wasn’t one of those days. 

“Dad.” 

Rafe growled, his tone warning and Ward’s eyes flicked to you, suddenly taking in the sight of your embarrassed, apologetic form. He crosses the wood flooring of your apartment quickly, his hands wrapping around your biceps. 

“Sweetheart – you’re fine. You are allowed to touch someone you’re about to marry no matter who’s watching, even if it’s my son. Okay? I’m giggling because you guys really had no idea I was here. You were so lost in each other. That’s a beautiful thing. I’m not upset. I promise.” 

You lifted your head as his sweet words, the tears you were about to let fall no longer clouding your vision. 

“Do you mean it?” 

You question. 

“Of course I do!” 

He giggles and it brings a smile back to your sweet face. 

“Now, I’m gonna leave for the night and let you two celebrate your engagement, okay? Just go easy on him. He’s going to be pouty once he realizes how much he can’t do in the next few days.” 

You nodded vigorously, throwing a wink his way and watching as he made his way into Rafe’s field of vision again, kneeling before him. 

“You take good care of our girl, m’kay buddy? I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

He moves to get back into a full standing position but Rafe grabs his father’s wrist before he has the chance, catching him by surprise. 

“I love you, Dad.” 

He speaks into the air between them and Ward smiles, crouching down in front of him. 

“I love you more.” 

He says, placing a kiss to his son’s hand that was now resting in his own. He pats Rafe’s knee for good measure before standing and exiting your apartment. 

—

A short while after Ward left, you’d convinced him to let you change him into more comfortable clothes,which really wasn’t true. You just wanted him in clothes that felt and smelled like him, not ones that wreaked of antiseptic and the heaviness that had been over you since you saw him fall from the balcony. He knew you very well, so he obliged, his own skin feeling sticky and overstimulated from the hospital smell that lingered against him. He settled on letting you leave him shirtless and changing him into Nike socks and gray sweatpants. It was only after that that he convinced you to lay with him on the couch. Which is exactly where you’d found yourself waking from a nap close to four hours later. You were warm, that’s the first thought you had as you came back to consciousness, warm and safe. Which could only mean one thing – Rafe must be near. He was indeed near, your cheeks squished against his belly button as your body laid in between his long legs. You blinked your eyes open and your ears were assaulted by his soft snores. It made you smile. You laid there for a while, just listening to his even breaths, something you’d always been thankful for. But, now the overwhelming feeling of joy that laced through your veins at the mere sound of it left you dizzy. You’d never imagine fear would grip you as greatly as it had as you waited to hear about his status after his accident. You just knew you never wanted to feel that way ever again. Which prompted you not to move a muscle – simply basking in his afterglow, now that he’d danced with death and made it on the other side. His afterglow was yellow; daffodils and sunshine and so notably him. As you laid there with him, you couldn’t help but feel like you’d never seen color or him for that matter, until now. Maybe you hadn’t. 

After about thirty minutes of you admiring how beautiful he was as he lay there sleeping, Rafe stirred. You watched in ill stricken horror as he opened his eyes and his chest started heaving, forgetting in sleepy stupor what had happened to him. This was his new morning ritual, at least it had been for the last two weeks. The fear that laced his blue orbs was something that haunted you every time he looked this way. Because Rafe Cameron was a lot of things – but he’d never been scared before, not like he was in these fragments of time. You contemplated letting him come to reality on his own until his breathing became more frantic. That’s when you squeezed him tightly around his middle, careful not to jostle his injuries in any way. You felt the plaster of the cast on his wrist wrap around you as it caught the fabric of your t-shirt, lifting it slightly causing the hardened, once wet material to scrap your tummy. 

“Hey – you okay?”

You questioned, concern hidden in the octaves of your voice as you clung to your sweet boy like a sloth to a tree branch. 

“Yeah, I’m alright, baby. It’s weird, you know? It’s like sleeping makes me forget and then I wake up and I-I’m scared.” 

You roll over onto your tummy at the vulnerability he’s showing you. This is his first attempt at talking about his accident and the way it’s making him feel and you refuse to do anything else except listen intently and offer him your unconditional support. You moved your arms, crossing them underneath your chin on top of his belly as you peered up at him, intently listening. 

“What’s scaring you the most, baby?” 

You ask timidly, unsure if you really want to know the answer, still afraid that part of him blames you for – all of it. He must be able to read your thoughts because he squeezes you a little tighter and it makes your eyes wet. 

“Everytime I wake up, I c-can’t remember where you are o-or what happened. I can’t remember if I got to you before he hurt you a-and it’s so terrifying. I mean what am I supposed to do if there’s no you?” 

He replies, voice wavering as he starts to cry. You don’t think, you can’t think – you act; body lifting to straddle his lap and look him in the eyes. 

“Hey.” 

You speak softly, arms moving through the bars caging his head in to cup his cheeks. 

“I’m okay.” 

You speak again, smiling softly. His tears run streaks down his now flushed cheeks and his bottom lip wobbles. You haven’t seen him this innocent in years and flashes of the little boy you fell in love with are ever present in your brain. It makes your chest ache. 

“But, you almost weren’t and I-I can’t get his hands being on you out of my head, y/n. I’d die if anything happened to you. You know t-that right? I-I’d die.” 

He says matter of factly in between blubbering cries. 

“Nothing is ever gonna happen to me. I’m okay because you protected me like you always do.” 

You speak, bringing his hand to your heart, placing his palm flat against your breast. 

“Feel that?” 

You question, your eyelashes fluttering as you peer up at him from where you sat. 

“I don’t think feeling you up right now is gonna help much, pretty girl.” 

You roll your eyes in response to him and scoff violently. 

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Cameron. Take a deep breath and tell me what you feel.” 

You tell him and watch as he follows your instructions. 

“It’s – your heart.” 

He smiles and it’s a different one, it’s that of an excited child. It melts you in all the same ways his usual smiles do. 

“Yeah, baby. I’m still here. It’s still beating. You don’t have to be scared anymore.” 

You say into the air between you, reaching your head into his cage and kissing him as deeply as the brace will allow. He returns it with a small moan. 

—

There’s a sizzle, the sound of oil bubbling – then the sound of meat meeting a cast iron skillet. It’s amazing in two short weeks the heightened senses your sweet boy has come accustomed to. Like the sounds of his favorite meal being made, it’s something he finds himself grateful for. Yet, he’s even more grateful as he hears your hum. He’s zoned in on Olivia Benson in all her glory as she plays on the screen of your living room tv when he hears your feet softly padding across the linoleum floors. It’s funny really that this is your show – one you enjoy together and yet, he’s stuck in one position unable to move to look at you. It makes him angry and overstimulates his senses. He’s known who the criminal is since minute five and he’s bored, because he only enjoys reruns when you’re beside him, hands in his hair. He can see you there when he closes his eyes just long enough, your sweet smile in his peripheral vision. it’s so vivid; the way he can see you as he hears the movements you make – the scraping of a fork in oil as you retrieve the meat from the pan, the way you grimace and scowl as it burns your fingers even though you know that it’s hot. He can see you as you suck on your finger nursing the sting out of it. He thanks God that he still closes his eyes and sees you even when you’re not in front of him. He thanks God he doesn’t have to rely on the memory because he never wants to forget you like that. He never wants to forget you at all. 

“You sleepin’ silly goose? After I slaved over this food – I can’t believe it.” 

You say as you stand over him in mock exasperation. He can feel your shadow now looming over him. He grins softly and peeks one open, closing it quickly before you can see him. 

“It’s okay, baby. You sleep all you want to.” 

You reply, seemingly to yourself as you crouch, placing your hands on his chiseled cheeks, gently rubbing your thumb back and forth. 

“Such a softie.” 

He mutters, a sly grin ever present as he opens his eyes and giggles. 

“Not fair!” 

You pout, pulling away as you place your hands on his knees to aid you in getting up. He quickly has his hands on your wrists, preventing you from going anywhere as he giggles. 

“You tricked me!” 

You continue pouting as he pulls you onto his lap and you straddle him. 

“Not my fault, you just make it too easy, pretty girl.” 

You roll your eyes, dropping your head to his shoulder. His embrace is warm and all you want to do is hold him forever. You raise your head to look in his eyes and in them sits something you’ve never seen before – anguish and longing – looking like they go hand in hand. 

“What is it?” 

You ask, trepidation on your lips. 

“Just feeling really lucky is all.” 

Liar – you think to yourself as you reach your hand in between his bars, tapping his cheek gently before getting up to grab his dinner. 

“Where are you going, beautiful girl?” 

He asked. 

“I have a very hungry fiance to feed.”

You reply and he chuckles to himself. 

—

What feels like hours but is only moments later, he’s back to relying on the noises of your actions. The first one he hears he quickly identifies as scraping metal; the kind only created between a knife meeting a plate. This and the smell of his favorite seasoning told him that you’d made him a steak and you were more than likely cutting it into pieces small enough for him to be able to swallow. He internally purred at the thought – you cooking his favorite meal and chopping it up so he could chew it. His bliss is quickly taken away as he continues to hear the scraping; nausea over taking him. He’s not sure if it’s the screws in his head or not, but the sound is making him hurt and he feels like he needs to lay down. He does need to lay down. 

“Dream girl.” 

The words are not a question, they are a plea as they come out of his mouth and you’re quickly running into the living room, looking down at him as he closes his eyes. 

“Are you sick, baby?” 

You question, stupidly, cursing yourself for even speaking. You close your mouth quickly, rapidly running into the office that is just adjacent to where you are and grab the trash can that’s beneath the desk. You hit your head as you try to move at lightning speed from underneath the mahogany to return to your boy. 

“Shit!”

He hears you screech and he almost smiles – almost. He’s far too worse for wear currently to try to move even a centimeter. 

“Rafe, baby – can you open your eyes?” 

You question lightly, moving to wrangle him to the edge of the sofa cushion so that he can lean forward and vomit into the trash can if he needs to. 

“M’okay.” 

He mutters after what seems like hours. 

“Vertigo.” 

He says. You can do nothing but nod your head and before you know it, tears are clouding your vision. You wanted to treat him like the king that he was, sure that his favorite meal and a movie would put a smile on his face. 

“Come here, baby.” 

He says as you help him sit back into the couch cushion again. You look at him, unsure if you’ll hurt him, but longing for his touch more than you ever have. He doesn't look at you directly because, well – he can’t. But, he feels the force of your wobbling lip as he pats his hands against his thighs. So, you do what he asks – you crawl onto his lap, straddling him, yet again as he looks into your eyes. 

“What’s the matter?” 

He questions you, his uncasted hand reaching up to feel the warmth of your now flushed cheeks. His touch – it’s enough and the damn breaks; every ounce of emotion your body is holding inside is released in the form of water. 

“I-I don’t know what to do to make it better.” 

You squeal, sobs over taking you. Rafe is so shell shocked that he’s speechless. You look like a frustrated toddler, he notes; wondering how long you’ve been holding this in – how long the guilt has been eating at you. 

“It’s my fault! I did this to you!” 

You exclaim through tears and his eyes soften even more as he’s looking at you – beautifully, breathtaking, you. 

“Baby, this is not your fault.” 

His eyes are pleading when he says it, because he needs you to believe it. But he knows that deep down you don’t. He knows that he has to hold you until your cries quiet down and he does. He gathers you in his strong arms, which is all you really ever want in time like these, and he whispers soothing words into your ear as he pets your hair. He wants so badly to kiss the top of your head – marking it as another thing the brace has taken from him.

“Hey – sweet girl. I love you, you know that don’t you?” 

He asks after a while and he feels you nod your head yes against his chest. But, that’s not enough, he needs to show you. 

“Look at me, baby.” 

He commands softly and you oblige; locking eyes with him. He can see that you are longing for his touch but want to cower away, that your mind and body are in a balancing act of conflicting emotions. 

“I’m sorry.” 

You whisper. 

“You don’t have to be, don’t need to be sorry, dream girl. You haven’t done anything wrong. Do I need to show you that?” 

He asks, tucking your hair behind your ears. You can’t find the words as you take your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“Words, please.” 

He says, though he knows that your body language is giving him a resounding – yes, please do that. 

“Yes.” 

It’s a whisper – but a whisper is all he needs. 

“I’m gonna need you to help me, okay sweet girl? Can you do what you're told, angel?” 

You nod your head vigorously in response. 

“I know you can, cause you’re a good girl aren’t you?” 

He asks with a bit more dominance, though his tone is the softest you’ve ever heard it in the decade that you’ve been his. 

“Y-yeah – you think so?” 

The question surprises him but your doe eyes don’t. In fact, he relishes in your need for him and his praise. 

“You’re a good girl – my sweet girl.” 

He coos and your eyes twinkle at the praises as they enter your ears and make contact with your brain. He can see the moment they do and he’s thankful that you still react to him this way after so many years, especially while he looks like this. 

“Lift up for me and take it out.” 

He instructs and you oblige, sitting back on his knees and pulling his pants down his thighs just enough that neither one of you will make a mess all over them in a few minutes time. 

“Rafe – are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” 

There’s not a sight more beautiful in the world he’s convinced as he looks at you; doe eyes looking to him for further instruction. 

“I’m sure, sweetheart. You’re not gonna hurt me. I’ll just need you to do the work this time, okay?” 

You nod into a sweet smile, leaning in and kissing him deeper than you ever have before. His lips taste like mint and cinnamon, like they always do and by the time you’re needing air, your chest is heaving. You’re not sure what it is; maybe the idea that he was almost taken from you forever, but your skin is itching. It feels more like you’ve been struck by lightning and every time he touches you it only seems to get worse. There’s no need for foreplay this time, the kiss – his fucking kiss – does you in and you’re wetter than you’ve ever been in your life. There’s no time for pleasantries, so you do what comes natural to you, you rip your own clothes off and sink down onto him. 

“Holy shit!”

He groans and squeals simultaneously. 

“You okay?”

You ask, breathless before you’ve even uttered a thrust against him. 

“I’m perfect!” 

He groans again as you adjust to him. 

“Good.”

You grunt out and begin moving up and down slowly, which soon turns into a pace that neither of you have ever tried before. He basks in the beauty of you bouncing in front of him and for a moment he’s thankful that he can’t see below your tits as they bounce vigorously up and down in front of him. 

“God – you’re so wet baby.” 

He mutters breathlessly as he grips your hips. You’re doing something interesting, the curve of your hips as you move – it’s like you’re writing in cursive and it’s enough to send him over the edge. It does send him over the edge and you follow closely behind at the squeal of his name. 

“Rafey – I love you.” 

You whisper, resting your head against his chest as you come down from the electricity of it all. 

“I love you more, dream girl.” 

He whispers back. Suddenly, it feels less heavy and you’re thankful that you seem to have him, you really have him. He’s in your arms, he’s real and you’re never letting him out of your sight again. 

“Don’t ever leave me.” 

You whisper, after what seems like forever laying there, just as he’s fallen asleep under you. Though you know he never would, not voluntarily at least. 

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i’m literally so inlove with this

hi! can you do drew starkey × reader celebrating Easter with your family?, plsss love u!!.

Mi media naranja (my half-orange)

Drew starkey x fem reader

Masterlist

A/n: this has little to no relation to Easter bc I kinda don’t know anything about it 😬 it’s not something that’s done in my culture the way Americans seem to celebrate it but I really REALLY like the outcome so I hope you like it too!!

Word count: 1.3k

Spanish speakers often say “mi media-naranja” (my half orange) to mean “my husband/wife/partner” — A common explanation: since no two oranges are identical, each half-orange only has one possible match. In this view, media naranja isn’t just one’s mate, but the perfect match, something like “soulmate”

Source : Unknown

You were walking through the lawn with a plate of strawberries to share with Drew, trying to avoid the speeding kids that never failed to run into you.

When you got to the little picnic blanket Drew had set for the both of you under two big trees a few feet away from your family, you heard one of your nieces talk to him, her older brother trying to climb Drew’s back.

“My mommy says you’re our new uncle” she started, her face freckled with chocolate as she held her Easter basket.

“That’s not true, Frankie. She said–she said that you like aunt Y/n and one day you might be our uncle” the young boy explained. She pulled her tongue out at him making Drew chuckle.

“So is it true?”

“It's ‘what’ true?” you asked sitting down “Sutton be gentle, you’re gonna suffocate my boyfriend”

“No I'm not” he answered with a smile. “Frankie says Drew’s our new uncle ’cause mom said that he likes you and one day he might be but she’s telling the story wrong”

“It’s the same thing!” she argued, stomping her foot on the grass. Both you and Drew tried to hide your chuckles, seeing a 4 year old trying to seem mad while her face was covered in chocolate was hard to take seriously.

“No it’s not!” Sutton turned to you “Mom said that he likes you. Is that true?”

Drew spoke up before you could “Almost, the right word would be ‘love’”

The kid stepped away from him “Ew…do you guys kiss? I have a girlfriend at school but we don’t kiss–”

Your eyes widened while Drew fell back onto the blanket laughing at the indiscreet question. “Does your mom know?”

“No…but you don’t need to tell her or I'll tell grandma that you’re kissing boys” he said with his hands on his hips.

You furrowed your brows “Are you threatening me?”

“No! I’m trying to make a deal”

“Mhm, how about you two go back to the big table or to play while we wait for the meat to be done and tell your mom–” you spoke loudly enough for your sister and whole family to hear “to mind her own business!”

Drew couldn’t stop laughing while he acted clueless of the fact that Frankie was stealing some of the chocolate mini eggs that you had brought for the two of you. Your sister yelled back.

“You can bring the white boy of the century over here! We don’t bite!” she joked, causing you to roll your eyes. You both watched as the kids left running.

“She stole my chocolate” he smiled.

“Worst part is that she actually believes no one saw her” you chuckled “You having fun? We can go inside if this is too much”

He shook his head with a smile “Oh no, kids are climbing all over me, wanting me to throw them in the air…it’s my workout”

“Yeah, sure” you smiled “Don’t wanna hear you whine about how much your body hurts tonight”

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t give me a massage if I did” he replied while eating some strawberries.

You looked away from him while biting into one “Would give you much more than a massage” you mumbled.

“What did you say?” he smirked, his eyes bright and loving.

You shrugged “Nothing”

“Right…I heard you just fine, so i will complain to see if your offer still stands”

“We’ll see but i'm serious, if–” you began before another kid hugged Drew’s back and neck.

“Hi auntie Y/n” she smiled innocently while holding onto Drew.

“Yes Ellie?” you asked, knowing that this walk through wasn’t in vain.

The little girl leaned in to whisper something in Drew’s ear and you immediately turned to your family who had been looking your way but upon your acknowledgement, immediately turned to look away. You narrowed your eyes at them before hearing Drew chuckle after answering ‘yes’ to whatever your niece has asked before running away.

“What did she say?”

Drew shrugged and shook his head with a smile before going to take more strawberries, you quickly snatched the plate.

“I wanna know” you insisted.

“You look beautiful today, have I told you that?” he grinned.

You tilted your head slightly “Please, I wanna know…and you have, thank you”

“Come here” he motioned for you to lay back against his chest while he laid back against one of the trees. As you looked up, light filtered in between some of the leaves, bringing some warmth to the shade both trees apported. He kissed your temple.

“I’m glad they like you” you whispered, the laughs of little kids and soft music accompanying your confession.

“I’m glad they do too...I wish I had an orange to tell you how much i love you”

You chuckled, snuggling closer to him while he circled his arms around you. “You’d peel off all of the white just to prove it”

“I would”

You paused “I did that for the kids a few days ago…i was visiting and my sister had bought oranges and clementines and all it took was for me to reach for the fruit bowl for them all to want some, so i began peeling the fruit for them” you explained as you watched them play “I didn't realize how long it’d been since i did it last and suddenly i felt the need to cry” you chuckled, his hands ran through your bare arms as he snuggled closer “I knew you did it for me because you love me but i didn’t understand to what extent”

“And now you do”

“I do…but tell me anyway until we find some more fruit to share” you trailed off before hearing him chuckle lovingly.

“I love you, desperately and very, very tenderly…the poets were right, you are half of my soul–you are part of my existence, part of myself” he breathed “And I soon realized you have been in every line I've ever read. The love i have for you is so pathetically intense, it just can’t be any other way”

There was a beat of silence where you let his words linger in the air, waiting for them to embrace you with his love for you before you spoke again, just above a whisper.

“What did she ask you Drew? for you to hold me like I might slip away?”

He breathed in your lemon scented shampoo aiming to fill his lungs with the essence of you “She asked me if i would want to be your last love, like in the books she reads and I said ‘yes’”

You smiled to yourself “Did you know seahorses mate for life?”

Drew chuckled, never knowing where your random facts will entangle their meaning into your conversation “No i did not”

“Well, apparently they do…they cling to partners like I cling to everything I have and love every part of it, desperately, like you said. A love so painfully eternal, like poets say. I had never experienced anything this ferocious, intentional and primal with another person and i think of it as eternal too sometimes... but i’m not a poet, i’m just a woman”

“I think the poets might disagree... you will never be unloved by me, you are too well tangled in my soul”

“Even at my worst?”

“Even at your worst”

You’d once found it funny how anyone who seemed to have the faintest idea about love seemed to write and speak like a poet would. You’d deemed it as impossible and inhuman to be able to speak with such care and knowledge of something you could not see or prove until the craving from the intimacy of being wanted began eating at you, forcing you to speak of it out loud. Suddenly every poem had meaning and love had a face.

A/n: here are some of my favorite 🍊 poems!