Rafe Cameron Fanfiction - Tumblr Posts

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 62

Jessie shut the door behind her, leaning up against it ever so slightly and resting her head comfortably. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks and her throat tightening as she was trying to stifle her sobs. She felt the uncontrollable heaves of her rib cage up and down as she silently cried, now looking down and closing her eyes. She attempted to catch her breath so as to not let Rafe hear her on the other side of the already thin door. But she doubted he would come if he heard her. She doubted he was even still standing there.

Little did she know, he sure was. And in the same position against the door as she was, with his head hung low and tears flowing. The both of them cried uncontrollably just mere inches from each other. It's a wonder neither one of them heard the other.

Jessie just put her hand to her mouth to try once more not to make any noise, the other hand making its way to her knee for support. She felt her legs shake and buckle and she was convinced the stress was about to make her pass out. She had never felt this feeling before, not even when she found out she was pregnant. This time was different. This time she had a daughter who knew her father, and who thought he hung the moon. This time Rafe knew about his daughter, and was smitten with her. This time it was much more complicated. Four years ago Jessie was convinced that wasn't possible, but she proved herself wrong. She couldn't take the guilt, knowing she allowed the situation that just occurred and everything leading up to it. She should have never left the Pogues in the Bahamas, she should have never let them find the cross. She should have never let Rafe back into her life after she got the gold. She should have never even said yes to the stupid plan in the first place. She should've kept to herself. As frustrated as she was with the whole situation, she couldn't shake her biggest regret.

She shouldn't have ever lit up that first joint. She should have never offered it to Rafe. And she wasn't even thinking about the time in the hot tub just weeks ago. She couldn't stop thinking about that night she met Rafe for the first time, just the two of them on that lonely beach. She regretted it more than she could express. She knew she created the mess she was in, but how could she not when that's all she's ever known? Her father only taught her one way to cope, and she had tried so hard to break the generational curse, and she did... until Rafe walked back into her life. He was always her Achilles heal. Years of pent up rage and regret were coming out all in this moment. However, this time, she didn't want to do a line. She didn't want to smoke a joint. She didn't even want a beer. The idea of drugs and alcohol in her system made her sick to her stomach. The deep emotions she was feeling right now seemed to be enough to make her sober up indefinitely. She swore in her heart and mind that she would never touch the stuff ever again. Instead, she would find a familiar high, one that was not found in her husband or her old habits, but one that was found on the open road of Manhattan, coasting through the city streets on the bike she road away on years ago.

Rafe on the other hand, couldn't get away from the thought of drugs even if he tried, and of course, he tried. He slid down the door with his head in his hands. He then heard the distant foot steps of his Jessie walking down the hallways to god knows where to do god knows what. This time, he didn't want to run after her, he didn't have the energy. He was exhausted from the mental gymnastics he's been playing for weeks, in a constant game of chess trying to keep everyone just happy enough for him to make his next move. It wasn't a choice, it was a calling... the last few weeks made it feel like a curse.

Despite Rafe's uncontrollable crying, it only lasted for mere minutes before he picked his head up and looked over at the stairs. He imagined his sweet daughter walking down them, undoubtedly being able to hear the pitter patter of her feet before he ever saw her with her bed head, squinted eyes, and favorite blanket in her arm. The realization that his precious little girl could come down at any second and see her father crying on the floor with her mother nowhere to be found was enough to pick him up off the ground and dry his eyes. He changed his demeanor on a dime. He wondered if Jessie even would come back. After all, she's left before. Surely she wouldn't leave her daughter? Either way, Rafe devoted himself then and there to being the dad he needed to be for his little girl, whether it was for this night or for this life. But god the pain he was feeling couldn't be ignored. The stress he felt over work and trying to do right by his family. The anxiety he felt over Jessie being out on the streets of Manhattan alone at night. He knew she could take care of herself, but some things just shouldn't be done. He felt like a terrible husband for letting her leave. But he also couldn't overcome the anger he had towards her for her crass words. The tension was all too much. If he was going to truly forget and move forward for his daughter he knew what he had to do. He had to start by getting some sleep.

With that in mind, he turned off the TV, knowing Tom was probably pissed considering the score of the football game, turned out the lights and went upstairs, careful with his footsteps to not wake his daughter across the hall.

Rafe stripped down to nothing as he hopped in the shower, trying to make it quick in case Charley woke up from a bad dream or wanted a midnight snack. Despite the hot shower, Rafe still didn't feel any less stressed and angry. In fact, the only thing the shower did was make him reflect on it all more, making him even more anxious to just get in bed. He slipped on some boxers from his suitcase and got in the bed, pulling the covers over his shoulders to try and get good and comfortable to coax him into a deep sleep. Of course, to no avail. Rafe simply tossed and turned for an hour, only imagining his Jessie out in the city and not in their bed. No matter how hard he tried, sleep would not come. He leaned one way and all he saw was an empty, cold pillow, he leaned the other way and felt cold himself with Jessie not being right on top of him. He couldn't stand it anymore. There was only one thing he knew would put him to sleep.

Rafe slipped out of bed and over to his suitcase. He walked so carefully and rummaged through his belongings so tediously one would have thought he was hiding something despite nobody being in the room. However, Rafe felt like he needed to hide what he was about to do. He was ashamed. But he couldn't shake it. He finally found the plastic bag he was looking for and went back to his bedside table, but not before locking the door just in case a toddler decided to come in. Charley... that was the whole reason he was doing this. He was no good if he didn't get some damn sleep one way or the other. At least, that's what he convinced himself of. If her mother wasn't gonna be home tomorrow morning he had better be well rested and ready to make his daughter's favorite breakfast, and he definitely wasn't planning on showing an ounce of sadness, anger, or remorse in front of his child. He always tried his hardest to never let Charley see him upset, and this was just one way he could make sure that he came through on that promise.

As Rafe stared at the perfect line of coke on the wooden table, he contemplated what he was about to do, taking a deep breath of disappointment and pursing his lips.

"Shit." Rafe whispered under his breath. He was so annoyed with himself, but he had to do it. This time, not for the high, but for the mellow. He needed to chill the hell out. With one final groan of aggravation Rafe smacked himself as if to pull him out of his trance and snort the line without a second thought. With a few sniffles and deep breaths, Rafe sat on the edge of the bed with his hands on his knees trying to stabilize himself and let the drugs take over. Once he was ready, he went back to unlock the door and crawl back in bed.

Rafe still couldn't get Jessie out of his head, the anger, the worry, the confusion. But he knew he would fall asleep soon enough. He looked over at the clock to see that it was almost one in the morning. Damn he thought. Would he ever get to sleep? And where in the hell could Jessie be? Before Rafe could think anymore he heard the creaking of the door and an unmistakable angelic voice. He jerked his head towards the door, focusing his eyes on a moonlit face.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, princess?" Rafe asked barely above a whisper as he propped himself up with one arm and looked intently. He watched as Charley approached the bed.

"Can I sleep with you?"

Rafe let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and let out a small chuckle.

"Of course you can, baby." He replied as he sat up completely to grab his daughter and lay her comfortably on the other side. He laid back down with her and looked her in the eyes. She did the same.

"Where's mommy?"

The question broke Rafe's heart right in two. He held back tears as he wondered how many times Charley would have to ask that question in her lifetime. He hoped just this once.

"She's... she... went for a walk." Rafe didn't have the heart and say that she'd be back soon. He didn't know that for sure. And he couldn't lie to his little girl. He could see the confusion in Charley's face, but he dismissed it by cupping her tiny face with his hand.

"Is she coming back?" Charley asked innocently but clearly with an ounce of concern laced throughout. It broke his heart to know that she even knew how to be worried. Still, he couldn't bare to lie to her.

"I-I'm sure she is, baby. For right now it's just you and me." Rafe replied softly with a fake half smile. He tried to distract her from the previous conversation. "Why'd you wanna sleep with me, doll?"

"I don't know." She shrugged innocently. "I just missed you and mommy."

Rafe tried his hardest not to let the tears fall, but his lips sure did quiver. But he had to be strong, his daughter was not going to see him break, ever. To avoid the pitiful sight, Rafe simply scooped up the girl and laid her on his chest for a warm, safe hug. Charley loved lying on her father's chest so the act didn't seem unusual to her.

"I miss mommy too, princess."

Those were the only words Rafe could utter, yet his daughter's words rang in his ears like bells. She didn't know why she came in that room, but Rafe knew exactly why. He needed her, whether she realized it or not.

As the father and daughter drifted soundly to sleep, Jessie was still out riding her motorbike down 5th avenue, catching glimpses of the lively night clubs and the occasional person walking down the street. It was late enough to not be bombarded with people, and it helped that it was a week night so there was no outrageous noise or crowds. This was the one thing Jessie missed doing. After she had Charley it was pretty much nonexistent for her to be able to get up and go ride without a care in the world. Besides, this was her way of releasing after what had just occurred, and she thought Rafe should be grateful considering she was staying away from her old vices in doing so. The only reason Jessie for once felt comfortable with leaving and doing something like this is because she knew Rafe was there. Sure Rafe was unpredictable and emotionally high when she left, but she knew she could always trust him when it came to their daughter. Charley was safe, and she planned on thanking Rafe in the morning.

As Jessie came to a stop light, she looked around at the buildings that billowed around her. She became mesmerized by the lights of the neon signs. As she looked to her right she could see herself in the reflection of the glass of a store that was of course closed. She looked closer at herself. For the first time in a long time she noticed she looked different, and it was a difference that only she could see. She looked tired, not physically, but mentally. She could see the numbness behind her eyes and her lips sat in a frown. It was as if she lost her natural inclination to live freely and even her face showed it unintentionally.

For once, Jessie couldn't escape the noise in her head. She may have walked out physically, but Rafe walked out mentally. She could see the darkness consume his eyes and knew what that meant all too well. There's no reasoning with Rafe at that point. The point which she drove him to. Thats what killed her the most: the fact that she did it... again. The guilt ate away at her. She inevitably blew up the family she was trying to preserve when she left.

Although Jessie may have left for the night, she had every intention of coming back... she couldn't say the same for Rafe. She didn't know if he would ever come back from the man she saw just hours ago.

There was one other reason Jessie couldn't leave for good. Her own mother did the same to her. Left her as a toddler with her pothead father and never looked back. Jessie could never quite comprehend why. Now that she's older, she assumes it had everything to do with the man she was married to... Jessie understood, but she still could never justify abandoning her child. She knew she would come back, she just needed some time— some time to love the girl in the reflection more than she loved the father of her child.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 63

Around three in the morning is when Jessie finally decided to dawn the doors of her apartment. To her surprise, she didn't see a single light turned on downstairs, let alone a disassociated Rafe waiting up for her. She didn't expect him to. She was glad he was getting some sleep.

Jessie quietly set her keys on the kitchen table and took her jacket off to hang it on the rack and kicked off her boots right beside it. Feeling exhausted, she trudged up the stairs with her posture crumbling with each step.

She rubbed her eyes as she walked down the hall, noticing the moonlight coming from the open door of her bedroom. She also noticed Charley's door was open. Already she could tell the situation was even more off than when she left, and her heart raced at the idea that something could be wrong. She began to pick up the pace to get to her room. She swung through the door to see Charley sound asleep on Rafe's chest, who was also out like a light. She sighed in relief and held her hand to her chest as she was warmed by the sight. She knew Rafe would take care of her. The sight before her was enough to put her mind at ease in knowing that Rafe really was trying to do his best. She had to give him credit where it was due. Still, time would tell if he would keep that promise.

Not wanting to disturb their sleep, she quietly changed out of her clothes and walked back downstairs to sleep on the couch. She was sure Charley probably wanted to sleep with both her mommy and daddy, but Jessie wasn't ready to sleep in the bed with Rafe just yet. She wasn't one to act like everything was fine when it clearly wasn't. She needed him to know that she meant business, so on the couch she stayed.

As she lay on the small knitted sofa she looked up at the popcorn ceiling. As she curled up with the warm blanket she kept in the basket in the living room she realized that she wouldn't be having too many more nights in this apartment. It was a bitter sweet reality. She remembered in Rafe's outburst him telling her that he had an apartment all lined up... in Central Park. She thought they might as well have stayed in the Plaza. Central Park Towers was one of the kookiest places someone could stay in Manhattan, and although she should have been excited... she just wasn't. This would be the first time she actually lived in such a lavish lifestyle... not vacation, not sneaking in and out of Tanneyhill... she was a permanent resident to the lifestyle she used to despise people over. The Pogues always wanted to go full kook, always wanting what the rich around them had, but not Jessie. To her it always seemed like a glass house or a fancy cage, and the more she got to know Rafe, the more she was convinced of that fact. Jessie wondered if there was a way she could somehow break the generational Cameron curse of perfect poise and prestige. She hadn't been able to do it yet, but she came pretty damn close a few times. Now that she was Mrs. Cameron, she thought maybe... just maybe... she could change the trajectory of a lineage that was always hell bound for destruction and greed. If she couldn't stop it all at once (and she figured she couldn't), she just had to slow it down... somehow. Regardless, she had to put the worry out of her mind and get some sleep. Who knew what tomorrow would hold?

- - -

Rafe awoke surprisingly before his daughter. He figured it was because Jessie still wasn't beside him and he knew it subconsciously. Through all his toss and turns even with Charley safe beside him he still felt that the bed was cold... empty.

When Rafe couldn't take laying in the bed wide awake anymore, he decided to gently lay the toddler over on her moms side of the bed, making sure to tuck her in extra tight so she'd stay warm and cozy. He gave a soft kiss to her forehead before he exited the room to make his way downstairs. He didn't bother with putting on a shirt or even sweatpants, opting for just boxers as he was a little hot from having a child sleep on top of him. Although he never complained. Rafe rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he thumped down the stairs, it wasn't until he made it down that he realized he should've been quieter, because there his wife was, sleeping soundly on the couch. Although Rafe wanted to be upset that she was not in bed with them, he couldn't help but feel relieved that she was even home. He didn't expect her to be. He creeped towards the living room to admire her further, seeing as she was dead asleep with her body curled up into as best a fetal position as she could manage being on the couch. She was cold. He couldn't bear the thought of her trying to warm herself with nothing but her own body heat and a thin blanket. Out of habit, Rafe scrambled to find another bigger blanket in the hall closet, quickly fanning it out to lay on top of her. He didn't want to wake her up, especially considering he was still mad at her. But god, he couldn't let her be cold. Thankfully, she didn't stir.

Rafe went back towards the kitchen for his original mission, which was to find something to eat. He opted for some muffins that Jessie always kept on hand for Charley's lunches. He had to admit, his kid had good taste. He grimaced at the fact that there was only four little muffins in the prepackaged bag, so of course he had one or two more. By the third bag Rafe lost all manners and ripped it open not nearly as quietly as he had been. Now making himself comfortable in an island chair scrolling through his phone, he opened the bag that would make enough noise to pull his wife out of her sleep.

Jessie heard something crinkle, but couldn't pinpoint if it was a dream she was having or if it was her unsupervised child ripping into something. Even half asleep her mom senses were tingling. She immediately opened her eyes and sat up to look behind the sofa, only to find an almost naked Rafe shoving muffins in his mouth two at a time. She was convinced he was about to choke. The thought made her get up, trying not to make a sound— or eye contact— as she walked to the fridge right in front of her husband. He took notice of what she was wearing, some old plaid pj shorts and a tank top. He assumed she dug the clothes out from the very back of her pajama drawer, bound and determined not to wear a sweatshirt of his to bed like usual. No wonder she was cold. He studied the back of her as she opened the fridge door to grab the milk, swinging herself over to him and looking him in the eyes as she silently poured a glass. Both of them had the same expression: calculated straight faces. It was just like they were back in the Bahamas when they reunited, both of them feeling each other out as if this was a game of chess. Jessie made the next move as she slid the cup over to Rafe for him to take. Rafe didn't dare pull his eyes away from the woman in front of him, only swallowing the rest of his food and giving her a suspicious side eye as he took the milk and brought it to his lips.

Jessie laid her hands on the counter in front of her, her eyes looking just as fiercely at the man in front of her. She tapped her nails against the granite and played with the skin on her lips, pulling them in between her teeth. It was clear neither one of them were going to break first, just like when they were kids... volatile as ever.

Just like old times, both of them were too angry to ever believe that they could have done something wrong. Once Jessie realized that Rafe really wasn't going to budge and speak to her, she took a deep breath, showing her clear annoyance for the situation and slunk around the counter to sit in the island chair beside him, no longer allowing him eye contact. However, she made sure to make herself a bowl of cereal before taking a seat. With that she plopped into the chair dramatically and hunched over her food as if to close Rafe off. Rafe picked up on the pouting, and looked over at his wife with judgement as he clicked his tongue and shook his head. He also couldn't help but let a chuckle escape his lips at how ridiculous she was being. Suddenly, the words escaped his mouth faster than he could catch them.

"Don't unpack anything... we're moving today."

Jessie looked up from her bowl and stared at the kitchen in front of her, for once at a loss for words. She slowly chewed the rest of the food that was in her mouth as she contemplated her words, trying very hard not to cause another blow up like yesterday. She still couldn't bare to look in Rafe's direction, so she let the spoon fall with a loud clank on her bowl. She rubbed her hands on her legs as if to give her mind and body something to do.

"I'm really trying to choose my words here." Jessie admitted with a timid tone, a new development for her. She had to make this work, no more running.

"Smart girl." Rafe sassed back as he looked down at his wife with a face and tone that showed he was fed up. Boy how the tables have turned. Suddenly Jessie found herself in the same position she was in four years ago, walking on egg shells so as to not piss Rafe off. She felt like he was ticking time bomb once again. Still, she got annoyed with his blatant disrespect and her face showed it.

"You're not making this any easier." Jessie retorted with venom. Rafe just shrugged as if he didn't care. Jessie was convinced he didn't. Still, she had to remain as neutral as possible. They had a daughter sleeping upstairs and even though they weren't on the same page about most nowadays, they always had the silent understanding they would never make their daughter listen to them fight. She sighed as she mustered up the courage for her next words.

"I feel like this is all happening way too fast. I really wasn't prepared to come back home and just move to a new building that's not surrounded by our family."

"Your family."

The allegation cut deep despite Rafe saying it with numb eyes and solid face.

"Rafe, they're not just my family. You know that. They wanted to visit with you yesterday just as much as they did me. You just won't give them the time of day unless it's convenient-"

"Convenient?" Rafe interrupted with raised brows. "Jessie, nothing about anything I'm doing right now is convenient! Did you think it was convenient when I dodged the rest of my calls yesterday to spend time with your family? Do you think it's convenient this morning for me to be ignoring my phone calls because you and Charley are sleeping? You don't know a damn thing about convenience."

Oh how wrong Rafe was. Jessie knew all about being inconvenienced the last four years. Hell, her whole life. But she didn't have the energy to fight, not when she knew Rafe wasn't ready to listen. They both would be talking to brick walls, and from experience that got them nowhere.

"It's not that I don't appreciate it Rafe it's just-"

"Really?" Rafe laughed, "cuz that's exactly what it sounds like."

"Rafe I just-"

"No ya know what? Save it, Jessie. I'm tired of the complaining. The least you could do is show a little support as I try and get all this figured out. And you-"

Rafe couldn't finish that sentence, his eyes got wide as he heard the subtle rumbling of little feet down the stairs. He swung his shirtless torso around to see his daughter slowly making her way down the steps. She seemed to be getting better at those every day as she wobbled less and less.

"Morning sweetie." Jessie exclaimed with a bright smile on her face, immediately getting up out of her chair to scoop her daughter up in her arms.

"Mommy!" Charley replied as she danced in place with her arms stuck in the air waiting to be picked up. Rafe couldn't ignore that smile on her face as she saw her mother. Even though he was beyond tired of Jessie's shit, he couldn't ignore their bond, having no choice but to be touched by it. Jessie may have her moments of being a terrible partner, but she was a damn good mom, and Rafe would never take that title away from her. He softened his stare as he looked over at his two girls. Jessie and Charley both looked at him as they embraced with huge smiles and giggles, clearly in their own little world.

"Good morning, princess." Rafe said softly with a fake smile that was not nearly as big as his wife's.

"Daddy, look, she came back! I told you!"

The accusation hurt Jessie. What hurt even more is not knowing what Rafe was saying to his daughter about her outing. Yes, she left abruptly... but did he really think she wasn't coming back? And did he really allow his three year old to think that as well? That was a whole different can of whoop ass that Jessie planned to unleash later. For now, she dismissed the rage and held her daughter tighter while swinging her back and forth.

"I will always come back, Charlotte. I'll never leave you. I will always come running if you need me, do you understand?" Jessie said rather seriously as she looked at her daughter with kind eyes. Charley nodded in understanding as she buried her head bashfully in her mother's neck and stuck the baby blanket she had in her mouth. Jessie looked at Rafe with a fierceness.

"And so will daddy." She said, not as a promise, but as a threat. Rafe only nodded with awkward pursed lips as if he felt just a tinge of guilt for possibly letting his daughter believe otherwise. He was technically still new to consoling a child... his child... especially under the duress he currently found himself under.

Rafe simply tried to ignore the piercing gaze of his girls as if they weren't boring into his soul with the same exact eyes and got up from his chair to make his way upstairs.

"I'm gonna go get ready for the day. Be ready at noon." Rafe responded with an oddly stable tone. As he said the last sentence he leaned down to Jessie to land a soft kiss to her cheek. Although the kiss didn't feel like one of love, not even of lust, but a kiss that was planted only in the name of saving face in front of their daughter.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 65

"Princess," Rafe began to speak to his daughter who was sitting to his right at the dining table, his wife to his left watched intently. Charley's eyes buzzed with charisma as she looked up at her father waiting for more words. "Starting today you can only eat at the table, okay? No more eating in your room or on the couch."

Jessie didn't have the energy to protest, opting to raise her eyebrows as she ate her perfectly prepared lunch. It was clear by the look on the child's face that she didn't quite understand why the new rule was in place, but she didn't protest. Rafe didn't expect her to know immediately, but he trusted she would learn over time. He went back to eating.

"I've got some meetings later tonight after Charley goes to bed. You're welcome to wait up for me but I just want you to know it's gonna be a late night." Rafe thought he was being kind by giving Jessie a heads up, yet the words felt sharp, especially considering they were not accompanied by eye contact. She hesitated to speak, but she mustered an answer.

"Why're they so late?"

"Because they're in different time zones." Rafe responded quickly as he chewed his food, not seeming annoyed, just trying to keep it simple.

"Oh." Jessie exhaled the breath she didn't know she was holding and went back to eating.

"Daddy, can we play later?" Charley asked in her broken English as she played with the kids fork in her hand. Rafe was quick to correct her hand movement as he pointed the fork back down to the food gently.

"Not today, sweetheart. Daddy's got work to do."

Charley had no words, only a look that could make anyone melt. Her lip quivered a little as she looked down at her food that she was suddenly uninterested in eating. Rafe noticed, and he had to look away.

"I'll play with you, baby. Whatever you wanna play." Jessie answered with a conjured smile.

"But I wanted to play wrestllllle... only uncle JJ and daddy play thaaaat."

Charley was right, her father and uncle were always the best at "wrestling" with the toddler. They could always throw her around like a rag doll and she thought it was the best game ever. It didn't help that Charley of course missed her uncle, so she was leaning on her daddy especially more.

"I can wrestle just as good daddy!" Jessie said with a scoff as she pretended to be hurt. Charley laughed.

"Ain't that the truth." Rafe uttered under his breath as he quickly took a bite of his food. The sarcasm was dripping from his tone, knowing that he wasn't talking about physical wrestling. Touché Jessie thought.

"Maybe we can call uncle JJ later. Sound good, doll?" Jessie asked, to which Charley immediately gasped and nodded frantically with newfound bright eyes once again.

After a few hours of getting settled and playing around of course, Jessie got Charley tired enough to get ready for bed. The two girls hadn't seen much of Rafe since lunch due to him being shut away in his office. Although, from time to time they could certainly hear him.

As Jessie bathed her daughter she tried her hardest not to miss the man she wished was sitting next to her. She tried not to let the mental distance get to her. Jessie saw this as an opportunity to make her bond with Charley even stronger, feeling that once again her daughter was her strength... her reason to keep going. Although, this time around, the distance hit much harder. The rift between her and Rafe was no longer only thousands of miles apart, it was 18 inches apart from their head to their hearts, both breaking in two at the moment. This time the distance was much harder given that Jessie now had to balance an unhealthy family dynamic rather than just being a healthy single mom. This was her worst nightmare... and the whole reason she left. She could see Rafe turning into the emotionless man he once was. Although, she didn't let the worry show on her face and merely put her energy into taking care of her daughter like she always had.

Despite Rafe being busy, Jessie knew he wouldn't be too busy to tell his daughter goodnight. At least she'd hoped. With that, she took a freshly cleaned, pajama clad girl into his office, not before softly knocking on the door and poking her head in to hopefully take the brunt of whatever frustration he might have in the moment. She opened the door to see a disheveled man with papers strewn all over his desk and a pin tapping furiously in his right hand. He jerked his head up with wide eyes of curiosity when he heard the door open.

"Charley wants to say goodnight."

Rafe's face immediately went soft as he pushed his desk chair back to accept the impending snuggles.

"Well bring her in here." He replied quickly with a smile. For once Jessie could see that it was real, as he really could use a sweet distraction right now, or at least something to bring him back down to earth. Jessie cracked a smile and opened the door a little wider to reveal a shy little girl hiding behind her legs looking for approval to come running. Rafe caught on to her silent plea and opened his arms wide. Suddenly the toddler ran furiously to her father with hands swinging and giggles flying.

"Come herrrrre!" Rafe growled jokingly as he scrunched up his face and picked up his daughter to sit her in his lap as he bear hugged her, throwing her into a fit of more giggles. He then tickled her which sent her head backwards and feet flying aimlessly. He got up from his chair and spun her around the room.

"Daddy! Airplane!"

Rafe knew exactly what that meant. Jessie watched as he held Charley up out in front of him and she extended her arms like the wings of an airplane. He then made the plane noise with his lips and "flew" her all the way to her room across the hall, to which she couldn't help but laugh. He "crash landed" her right into her bed and sat himself comfortably beside her as he tucked her in. Jessie joined them quietly, trying not to disturb the moment Charley was getting with her father.

"Goodnight, baby. I love you." Rafe said softly as he swiped some hair out of his daughter's face and rubbed her cheek with his thumb.

"Yuv you too, daddy!" Charley replied with a grin as she buried herself shyly into the pillows. Jessie told her goodnight as well and brought some of her neatly folded blankets over to snuggle up with like she always liked. With that, they both went to the doorway.

"Ya know what I say, princess. If you need mommy or daddy, just yell..."

"Cuz you come runnin!" Charley finished the sentence, to which they both nodded and turned out the light and softly shut the door.

There the two adults stood across from each other, Rafe putting his hands in his front pockets and Jessie rubbing her hands together. They both inhaled sharply and looked at each other, not really sure of what to do or say.

Jessie was silently begging for Rafe to come around, to say something, anything, that had even a hint of emotion behind it. But the words wouldn't come, instead, she watched as her husband nodded his head and looked everywhere but his wife's eyes.

"Well..." Rafe hushed as he clapped his hands together. "I should uh... get back to work."

Jessie just nodded her head with a half smile, although Rafe definitely picked up on the defeated look on her face. He had to disregard it as he trudged behind her back to his office. Jessie looked back as she watched him hang his head low. She assumed he didn't know she was watching, but she of course caught on to his exhaustion. She took a deep breath trying to decide what to do next.

Jessie slowly walked back down the hallway, her bare feet now taking the time to feel the soft expensive carpet underneath her. Her toes curled up around it as she admired it for just a second before making her way over to the kitchen.

She looked around at the gold crusted faucets and handles. She ran her hand over the no doubt priceless marble island in the middle of the cream colored kitchen. It was simply her and the single warm light above the island to keep her company in the otherwise dark room. She took the opportunity to pretend like she was back in her old apartment... her old home... and opened the fridge as if she was sneaking a midnight snack. This time, the fridge was filled with the best fresh fruit and veggies, more cheeses than she knew existed, and any flavor of drink she could want— definitely not her old fridge, but it would work for what she wanted. She decided to make Rafe a sandwich, knowing he didn't bother coming down for dinner and was undoubtedly hungry even if he didn't say so.

This seemed to be the time she had most enjoyed today, considering the chef went home and the house was quiet. She streets outside were also quieter. She grabbed the plate full of food and walked out towards the living room, stopping to look out the large window. She looked down at the city below her, feeling like she was miles away from the life she once lived down there. She used to be right in the middle of the hustle and bustle, and now she was so far removed she felt sterile. She thought the city was quieter, but really, it was just her own home... her own mind. After all, New York never sleeps...

Jessie pulled herself away from the windows, deciding to take the long, heavy curtains and shut out the city below her, no longer being able to take the fear of missing out. She was not Jessie, she was Mrs. Cameron. And she convinced herself she needed to get used to that. Bringing her husband this sandwich was the first way to do that.

She knocked on the door ever so slightly before hearing a stern "come in". She popped her head through just like before to reveal a once again laser focused man. He looked up still with furrowed brows. Jessie laughed to herself as she realized Rafe couldn't fix his face even if he tried, and now that his daughter was in bed across the hall, he certainly was no longer trying. She was somewhat glad he let his guard down, even if it was to reveal imminent frustration towards her.

"Can I come in?" Jessie asked politely with innocent eyes and a half smile.

"Yeah." Rafe said more as a question than a statement as he sat back in his chair to try and stretch out his back.

"I, uh... I knew you didn't come around for dinner so... I made you a sandwich." Jessi replied as she set the plate down gently, feeling like the clack of the porcelain on the wood would have given Rafe a headache. He looked at the sandwich, it had everything he liked on it. Jessie remembered. It even had strawberries on the side, one of Rafe's favorites, cut in halves like he prefers. Not even a private chef could have made something so perfect.

He swallowed as he contemplated his next words, now looking Jessie in the eyes. However, he couldn't look for long, as even in her timid state she was still so captivating... so intimidating to him. He cowered at her attempt to get closer to him. He knew what this was. She missed him, but she couldn't say it with words. Neither could he. He blinked a few times to regain his thoughts.

"Thanks." He uttered through a crack in his voice, immediately clearing his throat and going back to his papers. Jessie didn't say anything else, she only nodded and walked slowly back towards the door, praying he would say something else. She tried to give him all the time in the world to do so without making it obvious. But of course, Rafe knew his Jessie inside and out, and what she didn't know is that he was watching her every move as she left, drinking in every detail until he felt drunk off of her presence. Her hand touched the doorknob.

"Jessie."

She swung her body quicker than either one of them anticipated with bright eyes and a smile Rafe hadn't seen in a while.

"Yeah?" She asked in anticipation. God, Rafe knew exactly where Charley got her excited eyes from. It killed him that they both hung on to his every word like this. He tried to play it cool as he allowed for a slight pause. He contemplated his words as his lips found his teeth in thought. He began to click the pin again furiously, looking down at the carpet.

"I've got some executives coming in tomorrow night for drinks and to discuss business, I'd like you to be there." Rafe said as more of an emotionless statement. Jessie's posture weakened and she exhaled.

"Okay." She simply said as she walked right back out with a stride that left no time to waste.

As soon as the door closed, Rafe groaned and put his head in his hands in defeat.

"Are you stupid?" He whispered to himself as he hit his head repeatedly with the palm of his hand. He reclined back in his chair as he exhaled deeply and closed his eyes to block out the painful memory of what just happened. All the words he could have said... all the words he wanted to say... and he said that. He shook his head as the words kept replaying over and over. More importantly, his wife's face... her look of rejection played in his mind on loop. He couldn't distract himself no matter how much work was on his desk and no matter how big of a meeting was coming up. Shit, the meeting. Rafe widened his eyes as he looked frantically at his watch. He only had a few minutes. He quickly put all the papers in their respective folders and tried to file them away in his desk. In his haste to look for his laptop charger, he opened his center desk drawer, where he found more than what he bargained for. Amidst the imported cigars and the felt pins, he found the bag of cocaine he slipped in the desk earlier that day. He hasn't touched it all day, yet suddenly he felt like he needed a hit to get him through this meeting, especially after he just embarrassed himself in front of his estranged wife. Unlike all the times before, it didn't take much convincing for Rafe to form a neat line right on the cherry oak and snort it in seconds. He had to have some relief from the war going on in his mind. As expected, he immediately began to feel better, now feeling as if he was awake and alert and ready for his coveted meeting.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 66

Rafe closed his laptop and immediately folded his arms over the desk to lay his head down on them. He sighed as he realized he was done for the day, almost midnight. After a few minutes he picked his heavy head up and looked around. He wasn't quite sure what to do now. Should he get more work done? Should he just go to bed? Surely the latter was the better option.

With that, he got up from his desk, taking notice of how stiff his legs felt and how heavy his back seemed as he made his way over to his and Jessie's room. As he passed through the living room he noticed all the lights turned off and the curtains closed, the only noise being the hum of the air conditioning. He paused for a moment as he realized that Jessie didn't wait up for him like he had hoped. But then again, why would she? He had given her no hope either. Still, he hung his head a little lower after the realization.

Despite Jessie lying comfortably on her side of the bed, she only pretended to sleep for the hour and a half that she was in bed. She immediately perked up only in her mind as she heard the door open. Her body was facing towards the door, so she shut her eyes tight to make it seem like she was sound asleep. She figured Rafe must have noticed, because upon entering he stumbled to the bed and sat down and sighed. Jessie peaked to see his head in his hands as he played with his hair. He finally picked his head up to remove his suit jacket, followed by his button up. She'd be lying if she said she didn't want to remove the under shirt herself, and not just because Rafe seemed too exhausted to do it. She wanted him bad, she held her love for him like a grudge in this moment. She had to resist. Even in their anger, they still couldn't resist each other, that's what kept them in perfect toxicity. Still, she didn't falter, only choosing to watch his back muscles flex as he threw the shirt in the floor.

She watched as Rafe got up from the bed lazily rubbing his eyes and taking his belt and jeans off, kicking them mindlessly on the floor with his shirt. She observed how he walked towards the bathroom with his feet barely being lifted up off the ground. She could tell he was tired in more ways than one, his movements giving away more than he would have liked if he had known she was awake.

Once Rafe shut the door to get ready for bed Jessie took the opportunity to roll over, now staring out of yet another window that covered the entire wall, this one she didn't have the courage to pull the curtain over. She liked looking out at the lights even if she yearned to be underneath them instead of above. The click of the door once again distracted Jessie from the sight before her, and she quickly feigned sleep once more. She then felt Rafe slide in the bed in nothing but his boxers, and she was in nothing but one of his shirts. Although, she was sure he hadn't noticed yet, as he was lying in the bed as still as could be, as if he was afraid to get too close to her side. Even though she couldn't feel him, she could tell he was trying not to cuddle up against her like they always did. She also could tell he wasn't going to get any sleep because of it, which is not what her husband needed. Still, she made her effort, now he had to make his.

Rafe looked over at his Jessie sleeping soundly beside him. Once he studied her further he noticed the gray shirt she was wearing... his. God, she looked good. He hated that he was so attracted to her right now, considering they both were at an impasse with their feelings. He tried to put the lust out of his mind as he slunk further into the bed, but no matter how comfortable he tried to get, he still was too focused on staying on his side. Sides never really worked with Jessie and Rafe, as they both slept so restlessly that they always ended up tangled up together or one on top of the other, both of them finding comfort in the dance they did throughout the night. When one moved, the other did too, even if it was in a half asleep state, they both were aware enough to feel it every single time. Tonight was no different, and Rafe knew he wouldn't get enough sleep if he didn't move with Jessie like usual. So, he gave in, and decided to assume the first position. He finally cuddled up against her smaller figure and wrapped his arms around her, one absentmindedly crawling up her shirt, which was their typical way of falling asleep together. Rafe knew this was a stretch considering how distant they had been, but he took his chances, and he wasn't turned down, for he could feel Jessie mindlessly wrap her arms around Rafe's in her sleep filled state.

Little did Rafe know, his Jessie wasn't asleep.

- - -

Rafe woke up the next morning to an empty bed with Jessie nowhere in sight. Although, he could hear his daughter in the living room making all kinds of noise with the toy cars she must have been playing with. He laughed to himself as he looked up at the ceiling thinking about the havoc that she was wreaking in that living room, undoubtedly giving her mother a run for her money trying to keep her quiet so "daddy can sleep."

Out of excitement, Rafe popped out of bed and put on some sweatpants, not feeling cold enough to put on a sweatshirt just yet despite it being a frigid winter outside. In fact, as he looked out the window of their bedroom he could see the light flurries of snow, something that he certainly wasn't used to living in OBX, but he felt he could definitely get used to it here. Their penthouse was so high up they were in the clouds, undoubtedly making the snow even more magical as he watched it fall. Given the cold hardwood he knew he was about to step out on, he did opt for some socks.

Rafe opened the door to a sight he only imagined until now. There his wife was, folded up on the couch in her pajama pants and one of his shirts, drinking her oh so necessary coffee while watching her daughter play on the rug in front of her with a smile from ear to ear. Rafe could only see her side profile, as she was seated on the couch that had her back toward him, so she couldn't see that he had entered the room. Rafe was glad she didn't, because he enjoyed seeing the true happiness on her face. Although, he wished he could've made that smile appear on his own, but he just couldn't bring himself to forgive and forget just yet.

Sure enough, he watched his wife scold their little girl for being too loud.

"Charley! Keep it down!" She whispered as she leaned in, still holding her coffee mug secure in her hands for warmth. "Daddy's still sleeping!"

"Daddy's right here." Rafe announced as he sauntered into the living room. Charley and Jessie both turned their heads to see him making his way to the couch to sit by his wife. Maybe he was ready to forgive her after all. The look on Charley's face sure convinced him of that.

"Daddyyyy!" The toddler screamed as she ran up the man and jumped in his arms, swallowing him in a hug as best she could. He groaned as if she was crushing him, yet he only pulled her further up onto his lap and cuddled her more.

"What're you doing in here, giving mama a hard time?" He asked his daughter as she nuzzled her head into his neck with a shit eating grin indicating that her father was right. Rafe just looked at Jessie and Jessie right back at him, both with knowing smiles. "You gotta listen to mama!" Rafe reiterated as he poked at Charley to make her squirm. "Or else..." Rafe said with a lower tone as he looked at his daughter with a playfully serious face. Charley knew exactly where this was going. "I'll tickle youuuuu!" Rafe finished as he went to ticking his daughter in her stomach and her feet and her neck. She laughed uncontrollably and shouted for her father to stop through giggles. He eventually did, but only to get up from the couch and throw her up into the air and then back down on to the adjacent couch. Before she could get up and chase him he scurried back over to Jessie and grabbed her in his arms, to which she couldn't protest due to his strength. But she also didn't want to. Charley made her way back over to the both of them, trying to climb in her daddy's lap.

"Nope, I get to cuddle with mommy now." He said as he hinted over at her toys. The child huffed and puffed but once she realized she wasn't getting her way she inevitably went back to her toys. To his behest, Rafe scooted away from his wife just enough to give her the space he figured she needed. They both piled on the couch comfortably and looked at each other, Jessie now having one hand propped on the back of the couch and Rafe mirroring her stance.

"What'd you guys have for breakfast?"

"I made us some breakfast sandwiches with the stuff in the fridge."

Rafe made a face at that answer, one that showed pure confusion. Jessie knew it was coming.

"The chefs didn't make you anything?" He asked as he cocked his head.

"I sent them home. And the maids too." Jessie said simply with a shrug of her shoulders as if her statement was no big deal. She took a sip of her coffee.

"You- you what?"

"I... sent..."

"No no, I know what you said." Rafe sassed right back as he put his hand over his mouth in an attempt to hide his frustration. There went his desire to forgive and forget. "Why did you send them home. And don't be a smart ass." Rafe demanded, now suddenly filled with a crassness that Jessie wasn't expecting. She pulled her head back and furrowed her brows, perplexed by his outburst. Still, she didn't let him see her get flustered.

"I don't need them, Rafe." She answered now with just as much vengeance as her husband mustered. She looked at him with an expression that showed she thought this would be the hill to die on today.

"I never said you needed them but... but they're here to help." Rafe reiterated, now standing up from his spot on the couch to look down on his wife.

"And I don't need their help!" Jessie insisted as she got up to stomp off into the kitchen, coffee still in hand. Rafe followed her.

"What the hell did you put in your coffee this morning?" Rafe asked seemingly as a joke, but it was anything but. Thankfully, the two of them were now far out of ear shot of their toddler.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Jessie snapped right back as she went around the island of the kitchen to the breakfast sandwiches she had made. They were homemade versions of the chicken McGriddles that Jessie and Charley loved to eat before... everything happened.

"It means that you're being a bitch when I'm just trying to help." Rafe replied.

"Well you're being an asshole when I keep telling you I don't need help. I'm perfectly capable of running a house by myself, thank you." Jessie said as she assembled another sandwich and slid it over to her husband, clearly sending a message as she cocked her hip and planted her hands on the counter, giving him a look. "See."

Rafe just rolled his eyes at the sudden sass and took the plate of food in his hand, suddenly frustrated because he remembered his stupid rule about not eating on the couch. He decided to pull an island chair out, the screech of the chair on the floor being hard to ignore. He plopped down but before he could take a bite he looked up at a still sass filled Jessie, who had every intention of watching him eat every last bite of the sandwich she made for him. He breathed deeply as he figured out her game.

"You wanna do something by yourself? Fine. Go Christmas shopping for Charley today. My treat." Rafe said. Although the sentiment should have been sweet, the words came out as if he only wanted to get her out of the house.

"What're you gonna do with Charley?"

"I'll watch her." Rafe replied as if it was the most obvious answer through a bite of food and a shrug of his shoulders. He had to admit the sandwich was delicious.

"Oh I thought you were too busy." Jessie snapped, venom clear in her tone.

"Don't-" Rafe declared as he slammed his hand angrily on the counter top. Before he could say another word he balled the same hand into a fist and closed his mouth tight to avoid a bigger outburst. He sighed as he brought the fist to his forehead to focus. He then slowly released his fist and waved it around. "I got it all under control. Go."

"Fine" Jessie gave in as she turned her nose up and walked out of the kitchen to get ready.

"Please." Rafe whispered through irritation under his breath as he watched his wife leave. He shook his head at her newfound confidence.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 67

"Charley, I'm leaving!" Jessie called out as she adjusted her leather jacket while walking out of her and Rafe's shared room. The thud of her converse could be heard padding against the hard wood as she made her way to the Fourier. As she heard little footsteps she began to put on her knitted hat, scarf, and gloves. She bent down to meet the toddler dancing towards her, with Rafe following closely behind still in nothing but his sweatpants. Jessie knew he wasn't going to get any work done today, but that wasn't for her to worry about.

"Mommy, where you goiiiiing?" Charley asked innocently as she reached in for a hug.

"I'm going shopping!" Jessie said, not a lie, but she couldn't tell her the whole truth for obvious reasons.

"So just me and daddy?" Charley asked, this time with a beaming excitement as she looked up at her father and clapped her hands together.

"That's right, sweetheart. Just you and daddy." Rafe reiterated as he leaned down to get on the same level as his girls. Charley screeched in excitement and the two couldn't help but laugh at her. The mom and daughter exchanged hugs and kisses... Jessie and Rafe opted out.

"You have your card? The one I gave you last week?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, the driver should be out front when you get down there."

"Driver? I don't need a driver."

"Come on, don't be stupid." Rafe said nonchalantly as he shook his head. "Who else is gonna carry all the bags?"

"I... wasn't planning on getting enough stuff to where I would need help... Charley doesn't need that much... she's three."

The two of them both look at each other with looks that showed they were clearly not on the same page.

"What, we're not allowed to spoil her?" Rafe asked in an accusatory tone.

"She doesn't need to be spoiled. She's been perfectly fine with everything that she's gotten over the years, and she has had just enough stuff to play with." Jessie became defensive, thinking suddenly that maybe she didn't provide enough of the years of christmases for her daughter. But then again, she was doing her best, and the thought only made her angrier that Rafe didn't seem to understand that.

Rafe didn't feel like arguing. Instead he just pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head while looking at the floor with a hand on his hip.

"Ya know what? Fine. Just... take the car, okay? It's icy out there."

Jessie simply nodded her head, a little taken aback that Rafe showed some form of concern.

"I also need to buy for the Pogues too... since they're coming in... or have you already forgotten about that?"

"No." Rafe sassed with narrowed eyes and a mocking tone. "I did not forget thank you..." Rafe now looked out the window and then back at Jessie, making sure to look her up and down with judgement. "Did you forget that we have guests coming over tonight?"

Jessie cocked her head in reciprocated judgement.

"We don't have guests coming over... you have guests coming over. And no I didn't forget."

"Well they're our guests because I need you here, before dinner that way you have time to change."

Jessie looked down at her dark jeans and signature leather jacket.

"Why do I have to change?"

Rafe just laughed and played with his tongue in his cheek while looking out the window once more.

"Jessie, come on..." He said, expecting her question to be a joke. Once he realized the look on her face showed genuine confusion he decided to expound further. "These people are top executives of the company... they'll be dressed... nicer."

"Ok... and what does that have to do with me?"

Rafe just sighed and went back to pinching the bridge of his nose. Jessie implored him to go on as she brought her head forward a little bit and looked with sharper eyes.

"Jessie... it's about appearances. You're my wife and-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, noise noise, appearances, bullshit, what's new." Jessie sassed with a scoff as she layered more clothes on to keep her warm from the elements, now feeling like she could dismiss this conversation knowing it wasn't going anywhere. She clearly wasn't going to get her way.

"Look, just be back before dinner."

"Fine."

The silence was loud between them, as neither one of them had the strength for a loving goodbye. They both just looked at each other, Rafe now having his hands on his bare hips as he looked at his wife with pursed lips and wide eyes.

"Bye?" Rafe finally spoke up as he threw his hands in the air, not really understanding what Jessie was waiting for. She rolled her eyes and walked out of the door.

It took Jessie a moment but she finally found her elevator and used it accordingly, she still hated it just as much as yesterday.

She stepped outside of the building to be met with frigid temperatures and Tony of course coming to her beck and call.

"Good morning, Mrs. Cameron!" Tony interjected from across the steps as he hurried to extend his glove clad hand. Jessie noticed the redness in his cheeks, clearly he was cold.

"Good morning, Tony. Just call me Jessie." She replied as she took the sweet man's hand down the carpeted steps. She took it not out of need, but out of kindness... and obligation.

"Oh, best not to be doin that miss... Mr. Cameron has a protocol." Tony responded shyly. Jessie gave him a knowing look.

"What Mr. Cameron doesn't know won't hurt him, will it, Tony?" Jessie smirked with a mischievous side eye. Tony paused and rubbed his hands together nervously.

"Well I supposed if that's what you prefer... maybe just when Mr. Cameron's not around... for your sake, miss." Tony replied hesitantly yet still with a charm to him.

"I insist." Jessie said through a bright smile, to which Tony tipped his hat to her as he helped her into her black SUV.

"Where to, miss?" The driver, looking around the age of a retiree, asked.

"Umm... to Manhattan mall, please."

- - -

Jessie had been shopping for hours on end, of course taking a break for some lunch. She had managed not to call or text Rafe all day... and he had managed to do the same. She had hoped he would at least update her with a picture of their daughter or at least a quick text of what she was up to, but she didn't dare text first.

As Jessie made her way back out into the night air, she took notice of the beautiful Christmas lights lighting up the otherwise dark city. She knew it got darker much quicker this time of year, but she wondered what time it was.

Shit.

Jessie looked at her phone to see it was a little past seven, which meant a little over two hours since she should have been home and changed and ready to entertain. She quickly walked back to the chauffeur with her bags in hand, careful not to slip on the slick sidewalk.

"Mr. M! I need to go home right away!" Jessie demanded as she buckled her seat belt.

"Of course miss! But, I must tell you... Friday night in New York... especially before Christmas... always means traffic."

Shit. Jessie knew he was right. In her years of living here she never had to worry about such a thing, given that she always rode around on her motorcycle.

Motorcycle. That's just it! Jessie had an aha moment as she quickly pulled out her phone to call Mama.

"Hello?"

"Mama! It's Jessie! I really need a favor!"

- - -

"Thank you so much for the ride, mama. Rafe's already gonna kill me for being late for his meeting, I didn't need to add anymore time." Jessie said frantically as she hopped off the bike and gave the helmet back. She brushed herself off  and was about to turn around to go up the grand staircase before she heard mama speak up.

"Well that man can wait, babe. You've got your own schedule too, ya know? Where'd all those presents even go after I picked you up anyways?"

"Oh, Mr. M is gonna drop them off later, once he beats the traffic."

"Mr. M?" Mama said slowly conveying a tone of judgement.

"Mavis. I'm supposed to call everyone..." Jessie didn't want to finish that sentence, as she knew it would become even harder to explain in what little time she had to mama as to why she was under such strict guidelines. She could already tell mama was worried. "Well, it doesn't matter. He likes to be called Mr. M. Now, look I really appreciate the ride and I'd love to stay and chat but I really have to go." Jessie said as she gave mama a quick kiss on the cheek and a soft hug. With a smile, she quickly walked up the steps.

"Jessie." Mama called back, to which the young girl jolted her head back. "If you need us, we'll come running."

Jessie gave a half smile and a genuine nod of appreciation as she made her way up the steps with quickness.

Mama just watched, seeing the tension clear behind Jessie's eyes and movements and suddenly wondering why she was so adamant about being on time...

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 68

Jessie whizzed up to the top floor, uttering things under her breath about wishing that stupid elevator was faster.

As Jessie strutted down the hallways she attempted to compose herself with some slow breaths. Feeling put together enough, she opened the door slowly so as to not disturb the party that was going on in the living room. Despite her best efforts, the door opening did not go unnoticed, and suddenly she was met with the eyes of many men all different ages staring at her. Unlike Rafe, their stares were not ones of contempt, but one of curiosity and even joy.

"There you are, sweetheart!" Rafe exclaimed as he got up from the couch with a glass of whiskey and Coke in his hand. His words were disguised as ones of excitement, although Jessie knew better. He was anything but joyful behind his facade.

"Hi..." Jessie replied as sweetly as possible through a sheepish grin as she was met by the door by her husband who confidently strode over to her in khakis and a button down shirt. The smile on his face was haunting, as she could tell it was clearly fake.

"I was beginning to worry!" Rafe commented as he brought his wife's face up to his with a subtle pull of her jaw with one hand. His touch should have felt soft... maybe even sensual... but it felt stern as he pulled her in for a kiss. She reciprocated, although Rafe could feel the hesitance... no... the fear... on her lips. Their first kiss in days and it should have been filled with love... instead they had to fight the butterflies in their stomach and play the game. Rafe disconnected and looked her in her eyes with a jarring sense of control. "Go get changed." He said simply, barely loud enough for anyone to hear. To the other men it sounded like concern, to her it sounded like a command.

Rafe watched as Jessie rushed over to their room, making sure to give a polite subtle wave to the men on the couch that watched her leave. Rafe could see the dark looks in their eyes that they couldn't hide. He suddenly got possessive over the wife he was locked in a war with.

"Manhattan Mayhem huh?" One of the older gentlemen asked as he sipped on his brandy. He had modest gray facial hair and was dawning a white button up and jeans.

"Yeah, she uh... she's..."

"Part of a gang?" The man finished the obvious sentence for him with a laugh. "I could tell."

"She's not... involved with them anymore so..." Rafe tried to play it cool as he waved off any worries they could have and leaned back against the couch. To convey comfort, he then crossed his leg one over the other and took another sip of his mixed drink.

"Well, that's not necessarily a bad thing son... we might could use some hard asses in a job like ours." Another man spoke up jokingly. This man looked slightly younger than the previous, more clean cut in a suit jacket and jeans. Rafe just decided to take their laughs in stride and hoped that they would forget about the fact that his wife was a rather prestigious gang member. Although he did notice that the third man, the one closest to his and Jessie's age, was quiet about the fact.

Rafe heard the click of their door to reveal his wife in a red silk slip dress that he laid out especially for her. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't indulging himself by wanting her to wear that particular outfit, as it left little to his imagination... and to the others unfortunately. He didn't consider that. However, he was still grateful that she read his message he had left on the bed regarding the outfit. He felt he was owed this considering how much hell she was putting him through the past few days. If she wanted him to forget about his anger... this sure was a great way to do it.

Jessie sauntered over to the couch, every click of her heels an agonizing cry for Rafe as he had to contain himself for at least a few more hours.

"Gentlemen..." Rafe sighed as he stood up and meet Jessie half way and take her hand. She was cold. He brought her over to the couch. "You've heard me talk about my wife. This is Jessie. Jessie, this is Luca, Simon, and Fowler."

The men stood up promptly, fixing their shirts and coats and clearing their throats. Each extended their hands ceremoniously to shake hers. It seemed that with each handshake she could feel the grip Rafe had on her back getting tighter and closer to her butt. For the first time her smile was actually genuine as she knew that the attention from the men was getting to him. She intended to use that to her advantage. She could see the men picking her apart with their eyes, and she knew Rafe could too. The thought didn't intimidate her... it electrified her. As she sat down she only had one thing on her mind.

"Where's Charley?"

Rafe looked over at his wife, clearly having to remain focused as he completely forgot his child wasn't in the room.

"Oh, the nanny put her to bed early."

"The nanny?"

"Yeah. The nanny." Rafe reiterated, now with stern eyes begging... no... demanding that his wife not start an argument over the help she claimed to not need. The nanny he wouldn't have needed three hours ago if she had shown up on time. Well played, Rafe. Jessie simply nodded her head as she fixed the slit of her dress which she suddenly felt was running too far up her leg.

To cut the very visible tension, Luca, the oldest gentleman, decided to speak up.

"So, Jessie!" He exclaimed surprisingly very kindly. "As the top shareholders in Cameron enterprises, we were just discussing how wonderful it would be if we threw a party for all our investors and employees alike! All who could come!"

"Like a family holiday party." Simon, the second oldest man chimed in. Before Jessie could object she found a glass of red wine in her hand that Rafe had poured for her. Ever since a few nights ago when Rafe and Jessie had reached their boiling point she hadn't touched drugs or alcohol, and wasn't planning on starting now. She simply took the glass and held it in her hand as she looked at the men across from her. After all, she hated red wine and Rafe knew it. Yet another dig at his wife as he insisted that she fall in line with even the simplest of formalities.

"We think it'd be a good way to ease the mind of our investors given that the company just went under so many... major changes recently." Rafe explained as he closed the bottle and set it on the silver dish in front of him.

"Well... I uh..." Jessie began, still fiddling with the hem of the silk unsure of what to say. "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea." She silently cursed herself for not having it together. She was always good at this sort of thing, but something about knowing her daughter was put to bed by a complete stranger, and one that Jessie had no say in choosing, really messed with her head. However, Jessie remembered she was also currently messing with Rafe's head just by her appearance alone, and that gave her a newfound confidence to take the conversation in stride. With that, she picked her head up just a little more, arched her back and stopped playing with her dress as she looked dead into the icy blue eyes of her husband to her left.

"How about a New Years Eve party?" Jessie inquired. "We could make it a family affair! It'd be a great way to mix business with pleasure." She smirked, now looking at the men across the coffee table.

"Well, ya know... I don't think it's the best idea to bring family into this, I mean-" Rafe was cut off.

"Well of course it is!" The oldest man interjected. "It gives the shareholders an opportunity to see the more vulnerable side of the business!"

"I don't particularly like the idea of shareholders seeing us as vulnerable, Luca." Rafe insisted as he poured himself another drink, clearly feeling like he needed one. The stress on his face was eminent.

"Well, maybe vulnerable is not the right word..." Jessie came to the man's defense. She scooted a little close to her husband and laid a delicate but intentional hand on his thigh, albeit a little higher up than Rafe would have liked considering the crowd. He paused and looked down at her ring clad hand and then back up at her. "Maybe just... more... human."

The word seemed to fall over the rest of the crowd perfectly, however, to Rafe, it was nothing more than a dig at his recent robotic behavior. He looked over at his wife with eyes that showed he wasn't in the mood to be trifled with, but Jessie stared back at him with the same look. Here they were, both trapped in their dance for control once again.

"And who would be the family that you invite, Mrs. Cameron?" The younger, red bearded gentlemen, Fowler, finally spoke up as he brought his glass to his lips with wide, numb eyes. Jessie picked up on his body language, and could tell that for some reason his question was pointed.

"Well I'd probably invite some family from around here, like Mama and Tom." Jessie said that last part more towards Rafe.

"No no no, absolutely not, we can't-" Rafe was once again cut off, this time by the man not much older than him, who had now shifted his position to lean in.

"And who is this... mama and Tom?" He asked with knitted brows and hands folded together on his knees. However, it was almost as if he already knew the answer.

"Oh, Maci and Tom are their real names. They were like parents to me when I moved here." Jessie kept it simple, she was used to not giving the full story on her family in New York. After all, now would not be the time to casually mention that she was the nonbiological daughter of the cofounders of one of the deadliest gangs in Manhattan.

"Maci and Tom huh? How did you meet them?" Fowler asked with feigned interest. Jessie cocked her head, now letting her smile slip into a solid line. Fowler must have picked up on her confusion because he went on to explain himself. "Could it have been through that gang you're apart of?"

"Ohhh..." Jessie smirked and nodded her head with a slight laugh. "So you saw the jacket."

"We all saw the jacket." The young man bantered. "Tell me, Mrs. Cameron? How does such a... fine... young lady like yourself get caught up in such a... nasty childish habit of gang violence?"

"I suppose the same way you get caught up in being congratulated on being a master of the universe, Mr. Fowler." Jessie said in a seductively hushed tone.

Rafe choked on his drink. The rest of the men laughed lowly at the embarrassment the young man had to have been feeling. Still, Jessie's glare remained hard and focused on the red head in front of her, patiently waiting for his response.

"It's Mr. Hartman."

"Oh I'm sure it is." Jessie snapped right back, dripping with sarcasm. "Are you insinuating that you don't appreciate the art of gang leadership, Fowler? Because you should know, there is nothing more impressive in your prestigious realm of whims and words than having an entire city bow at your feet just at the mention of your affiliation."

Rafe wanted to butt in, but he couldn't. One of the reasons is because the words were stuck in his throat from intimidation, another was because he missed watching Jessie work. God, she was perfect for a role like this, she just didn't realize it. The way she word vomited so eloquently and always seamlessly intimidated anyone she needed to... it was tailor made.

"I don't think mercilessly killing innocent human beings for crossing over your imaginary territory is an art, Mrs. Cameron."

Jessie turned her lips into a maniacal smile, now being able to put the puzzle pieces together. The men, including Rafe, picked up on her haunting shift.

"We don't kill innocent people, Fowler. We kill offenders. Offenders that had their fair share of warnings and knew just who they were dealing with. I'm sure being in this business you understand that sometimes your hand is forced to... eliminate... the competition." She whispered, by now having all the men in the room eat out of her hand looking for her next words.

"Well yes of course, Mrs. Cameron but... we always have a good reason, and are typically not near as trigger happy."

"Well, congratulations, I suppose... you have a much higher tolerance for bullshit than I do."

A silence fell among the party, although Lucas gave a look that clearly said oh shit as the words flew. It was almost comical. Rafe's eyes were wide as he couldn't figure out what to do.

"Speaking of bullshit, I think I'll dismiss myself. I don't prefer sitting at the same table as an enemy." Jessie explained surprisingly lighthearted as she popped up and smoothed out her dress. "Gentlemen, I do apologize for skipping out early, but I have most enjoyed my time with you this evening. I hope to see you all at the New Years Eve party." Jessie said calmly as she exchanged hugs and cordial kisses with each man, finally walking over to Rafe and putting her hands on his shoulders behind the couch. She leaned down as she felt his back tense up. She couldn't see the front of his face but she knew his lips were pulled tight and his eyes open wide. She could see him white knuckling his glass. "I'll be waiting." Jessie whispered just loud enough in Rafe's ear for him to hear. He tried his best to not let the shiver running down his spine show. He also tried very hard not to let something else show...

It wasn't less than an hour later before Jessie could hear the party die down as the men exchanged goodbyes and left. She laid on the bed reading a magazine still in her perfect little silk dress minus the uncomfortable shoes. She heard the heavy footsteps from her husband as he marched his way to the door and opened it harshly. As she suspected, there he stood in the doorway fuming.

"What the hell was that?" He asked, now closing the door and walking towards the bed to take his shoes off.

"That was the brother of the man I killed for my initiation." Jessie fired back, ready to spew that information for over an hour now. Rafe just looked confused.

"I-I thought your initiation was just that stupid tattoo..."

"Rafe..." Jessie laughed now throwing the magazine across the bed and sitting up. "You really think that was my initiation into the most respected gang in the state? We got our street cred for a reason."

"You're insane, you know that?" Rafe replied, now with his hands on his hips and pacing back and forth. He secretly loved it, but now was not the time. "And why the hell were you late? And where the hell is all the gifts?"

"I lost track of time shopping, I'm sorry. So to get back here quicker and avoid rush hour I called mama and had her pick me up and take me back. Mr. M will be back tomorrow with the presents."

Rafe stopped his pacing and showed panic.

"You called Maci?! Jessie, what the hell?!"

"What did I do wrong? I was trying not to waste any-"

"You can't call the MM anytime you're in trouble! They're not here to protect you anymore! I am! I wouldn't have been as angry if you had just been late!"

"Now you know that's a lie."

"No, it's not, Jessie! God, don't you get it? You've gotta start putting some distance between yourself and that damn gang! They're not good for our reputation!"

"I don't give a damn about our reputation... and you just don't like that I can still be independent!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rafe scoffed, now just plain annoyed.

"Oh don't act like I don't know exactly what you're doing! You're trying to keep me all primped and proper and not allowing me to lift a finger all so I can be your perfect little wife for your perfect little investors to run your perfect little business. Well I didn't sign up for that, Rafe Cameron!"

"Jessie, you're delusional! Can you not just take the help?!"

"Can you not just accept the fact that I want to find happiness in my own home and doing things my own way?!"

A silence fell between them, both of them looked helplessly at each other.

"God, Rafe! Don't you get it?! This house... it's not mine... it's not ours! The food we eat, the rooms we sleep in, there's no tv in the living room for us to watch our shows, our own daughter can't even eat on the damn couch because she can't spill anything on the exp-"

"I already said we would get a new couch!" Rafe yelled, thankfully they were far far away from their sleeping daughter's room.

"IT'S NOT ABOUT THE DAMN COUCH!" Jessie screamed. She brought her hands to her hair in frustration. Rafe watched as she tried to form more words. He couldn't help but notice she adopted his mannerisms as she paced back and forth.

"I wake up, the house is pristine. I go to the kitchen, there's strangers cooking me food I didn't even want. I go to my closet and find clothes that are worth more than my rent was! I go shopping, I get chauffeured around like I'm some doll! This isn't me, Rafe! And you know it! This isn't home. This is prison. And that's exactly what you wanted." Jessie said through tears as her voice became achingly low. Rafe's face was stolid, only playing with his lips out of anger.

"You're not a pogue anymore, Jessica. You're a kook."

"And since when did you wanna grow up and be a kook, Rafe?"

He knew his wife had a point, he looked down at her red dress clearly to contemplate her words. She stepped closer and looked him in the eyes, hers now filled with anger and confusion. She didn't dare touch him, he felt that if she did she would burn him with her rage or melt him with her love.

"What happened to not turning into our parents?" Jessie whispered. "What happened to all those nights we dreamed about becoming more... becoming better than our parents?"

Rafe stayed silent until he could find the words. What felt like hours was merely seconds as he finally met his wife's eyes.

"Grow up, Jessie. We don't get a choice. We just fooled ourselves into thinking we did."

It was then Jessie realized she had lost Rafe more than she had thought. Without hope there is no promise for the future. Jessie gave Rafe hope all those years ago, but she was also the one to take it away on more than one occasion. Jessie didn't know who Rafe had become, but she knew he wasn't the man she had seen deep down inside. Where was that man? The man who believed Jessie wholeheartedly when she told him that he didn't have to be like his father. The man who gleamed with excitement every time he got to see his Jessie, even if it was to do things his family would never approve of. The man who once begged for a chance to tell his father off when he demanded he never see Jessie again. This was a man who felt trapped, but by what? He now had more freedom than ever.

"Fine... maybe we don't... but it's been weeks and I haven't gotten your undivided attention once!" Jessie pleaded lower than before. She saw something grow dark behind Rafe's eyes, like his anger was now mixed with an uncontrollable lust.

"You couldn't handle my undivided attention right now." He growled. Jessie knew exactly what he meant by that, and suddenly she felt a familiar heat rise on her face and a weakness in her core. Rafe let out a deep chuckle as he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him to kiss her shoulders and neck. She melted immediately. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she couldn't help but give in when Rafe touched her like this, especially considering how touch starved the both of them had been. They ached for each other, this night being too much for them to handle. Jessie moaned as her head became weak. Thankfully, Rafe still remembered her queues, and found his large hand grasping her head to keep her from falling back.

"You missed me." Rafe said, this time no tone of questioning evident in his voice. Jessie was a mess, and she could only moan and clinch her fingers around her husband's shirt for stability. She knew they were both still angry, but they knew all too well that angry sex was one of their favorites, and something she felt was going to become a new normal for them.

"Rafe." Jessie moaned, unsure if she was trying to implore him to stop or keep going.

"Shh" Rafe cooed through sloppy kisses along her jawline. He unzipped the back of her dress painfully slow. "You think you're trapped? Fine... I'm going to love you like a hostage."

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 69

A week had gone by and Jessie and Rafe were still at a stale mate, and just in time for Christmas Eve too. After their one night stand with each other they both found it in their hearts to at least table the argument enough to get through the holidays, and then they would deal with what life would look like afterwards. Surprisingly, the agreement actually satisfied the both of them, and allowed them to put on genuine smiles and laughs as they went about their days and raised their daughter.

Of course, they still had their rifts, the main one for Jessie being that Rafe felt it was necessary for her to distance herself from the Manhattan Mayhem due to keeping up an image she didn't care about. The main rift for Rafe being that she didn't want the life he promised her... the life she was made for because of her upbringing. If he was honest, Ward himself would have wanted Jessie as his wife, considering how poised her words could be and how unashamed she was of conflict. Although she was a little rough around the edges, Rafe just figured she needed more time to get used to the role, so he stayed persistent despite her clear disappointment.

"Charleyyyy..." Jessie woke her daughter up from her sound sleep. "Guess what day it iiiiis." She whispered as she gently shook her daughter awake. She invited Rafe to help her, but he still struggled with waking his little girl from her sleep knowing how grumpy she got. The child groaned and rolled over away from her mother.

"Uncle JJ is coming in today!" Jessie finally spilled with excitement, to which the toddler flipped back over and gasped.

"Uncle JJ?!" She asked as she sat up with wide eyes and an unforgettable grin.

"That's right! Him and aunt Sarah and everyone else are coming in for Christmas!"

"Christmas?!" Charley asked once more. Jessie laughed because her and Rafe had discussed Christmas with her plenty of times this past week, yet she always forgot and was amazed all over again every time the idea was reintroduced. "Yayayayayay!" Charley rang throughout the house as she skipped out of her room and all the way into the kitchen with Jessie following close behind with a smile.

Charley rounded the corner to find her father standing at the kitchen counter.

"Daddyyyy!"

"Good morning, baby." Rafe replied with a smile as he stirred a cup of coffee in his hands. He gave his wife a smile as he walked over to her, handing her the mug and kissing her on the cheek softly. She was surprised at the gesture, but took it as a sign that they were getting better each day, little by little.

"Thank you." She cooed, but their little moment didn't last long as their daughter pulled on her father's sweatpants to get his attention.

"Daddy." She said once more.

"Yes, darling." He responded as he looked down at the toddler.

"I want breakfast."

"Well what do you want?" He asked, even though the both of them already knew the answer. Charley gave Rafe a shy smile and wild eyes. "Let me guess... the same thing you've wanted every morning this week?"

The child nodded her head frantically and began to bounce up and down out of excitement. Rafe laughed and pulled his daughter up to sit on his hip.

"Strawberry toaster strudels it is." Rafe answered his own question as he paraded around the kitchen with the toddler to get the toaster and the pastries out of the freezer. Thankfully, Charley had done her part in making sure her father knew she didn't need any professional chefs. Her palate was not near refined enough to need such fancy meals. Besides, to Charley, nothing could compare to the toaster strudel her father would make her each morning. Knowing the routine, Rafe went ahead and made a whole box for all of them.

"I've got the driver going to the airport today to pick up the Pogues." Rafe said as he stayed focused on the task at hand.

"Alright, sounds good, what time should we be expecting them?"

"How about right now!" Suddenly an unmistakable voice billowed through the kitchen as Jessie jerked her head towards the entryway, sure enough to see a tan, blonde haired, bright eyed boy strutting through with a jacket and bags in hand and the pogues in tow. Jessie gasped and immediately rushed to her brother.

"Oh my gosh, JJ!" Jessie screamed as she embraced the man in a hug that she had longed for more than ever nowadays. JJ picked up on her intensity, and didn't intend on letting go. As much as he was ready to hug his sister, he could tell... she needed to see him much more. He wasn't completely sure why, but he always had his suspicions. He looked over at Rafe with wide eyes that suddenly had some semblance of threat behind them, as if to silently conclude that his brother in law was the reason behind Jessie's unusually tight grip on him. Rafe didn't pick up on the narrowed eye contact, and if he did, he sure didn't let it show.

"I'm not gonna disappear, Jess." JJ joked, taking the opportunity to break the silence, although he also chose those words specifically to remind Jessie that he wasn't going anywhere for the time being. He felt his sister let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding in through a slight laugh and finally break loose.

"I know, I just..." Jessie said quietly with tear filled eyes and a smile on her face. She cupped her brother's face, still trying to convince herself that he was real. "I just missed you."

JJ could tell she meant that, but she said it in a different tone than usual. He squinted his eyes to study her words further, but Charley didn't let him study for long as she broke in.

"Uncle JJ!" Charley yelled as she pranced right up to her favorite person. The tall man immediately squatted down and let go of his belongings to welcome the little girl into his arms.

"There's my Char Char!" JJ replied as he scooped the toddler up with a fake groan of agony.

"Oh my goodness, kiddo! You've already grown so much!" JJ poked at Charley with his fingers, to which she retracted into herself. "But you're still just as ticklish as your mommyyyyy." He finished as he began to tickle the girl, sending her into a fit of giggles. As JJ played with his niece, Jessie made a point to immediately hug the rest of her friends, missing them just as much as well. She, of course, gave an extra motherly hug to Wheezie, squeezing her face and giving her a look that silently communicated how proud she was of her.

"Good to see you man, I know my girls missed you." Rafe said with a smile as he patted his brother in law on the back and pulled him in for a quick hug. The blonde let his niece down and reciprocated the gesture.

"How did you guys get here so fast! I thought you weren't supposed to be here until later!" Jessie said, still in disbelief. All the pogues just looked at Rafe, who suddenly felt shy and stuck his hands in his pockets as he looked down at the floor. Jessie picked up on it and scoffed with a smile.

"Did you know about this?" Jessie asked her husband as she walked over to him. He looked up at her with a sheepish smile and a shrug of his shoulders as he took his hands out of his pocket to pull her into his chest.

"Know about it?" Sarah said with a chuckle. "Jessie, he planned it."

Jessie just looked at her husband and shook her head. She noticed his now shit eating grin.

"Do I still got it or what?" Rafe smirked as he looked down at his wife swinging mindlessly in his arms. The banter back and forth was refreshing for the both of them, considering the last week of their life certainly wasn't filled with it.

"Oh, whatever!" Jessie dismissed the comment as she heard the pogues laughing behind her.

"So what're we doing today? I mean, it is Christmas Eve." Wheezie finally spoke up. Jessie and Rafe both noticed that she seemed to have settled into her new role a little better, and she certainly looked much more confident. Luckily, the two parents had managed to successfully discuss exactly how they should celebrate this unusual Christmas. They both knew this would be a much different holiday for all of them. They came up with the perfect balance of old and new traditions.

"Weeeellll..." Jessie sing songed as she wiggled out of Rafe's arms. "Since this is our first Christmas... as a family..." Jessie tried to say those words with more confidence than hesitance as she looked back over at her husband. "Rafe and I were thinking we could all start by doing something fun! Like making gingerbread houses!"

"That's what we used to do back home..." Sarah chimed in, not with sadness, but with a soft smile on her face as she realized the intentionality behind the gesture. She looked at Rafe with soft eyes and he reciprocated, both of them understanding the sentiment.

"Yeah... it is." Rafe whispered, trying to keep it together for the sake of his sisters who were tearing up as well.

"And I also figured we could each open one present tonight, and then the rest in the morning!" Jessie interrupted with joy.

"That's what we used to do, Jess!" John B spoke up with excitement. Much like Sarah, he now understood exactly what Rafe and Jessie were trying to do. And it was working, as the Pogues now felt some sense of normalcy and had something to look forward to after the whirlwind of a year.

"Yeah..." JJ spoke up, now looking at the kitchen counter with evident sadness. "You guys always got Jessie and I more gifts than dad did."

Jessie remembered it well. Every Christmas Eve was spent with the Pogues, typically sitting around the Chat with Big John cooking up whatever he caught. Each kid would draw a name out of a hat and that would be the person they bought for. It wasn't much, but for Jessie and JJ, it was the only gift they got each Christmas, besides the gift they would get for each other regardless of what name they drew.

"Yeah... and I remember one year you were pissed when I drew your name out of the hat and didn't get you a separate gift." Jessie teased looking at her brother. JJ just looked down and laughed, a little embarrassed as he remembered exactly what she was talking about.

"So how about you guys go unpack and when you're done we will have everything ready." Rafe piped up. The Pogues nodded in agreement and were off to their respective rooms.

"Holy shit, Jess! This place is huge!" JJ billowed through the hall as she looked around in amazement at the vaulted ceilings and patterned carpet.

"I didn't even know a hotel could have literal houses within the building." Pope chimed in.

"I didn't either." Jessie jokes back with a laugh as she walked behind everyone.

JJ quickly claimed a room and plopped on the bed, disrupting the pristinely pressed white duvet.

"Don't put those dirty boots on the bed... the cleaning ladies will kill you." Jessie said only half joking as she propped herself up against the door frame work her arms folded.

"The cleaning ladies will kill youuuu!" JJ mocked in a high pitched voice and a scrunch of his face only he could master. His sister just laughed and looked down at the ground. "I always knew you'd make it here one day, sis." JJ replied as he sighed and placed his hands comfortably behind his head to pay down on the pillows and look up at the ceiling. Jessie rolled her eyes.

"No you didn't." She retorted as she squinted her brows.

"Well... that's true... I didn't. I always took you for a shack on the beach kinda girl."

"And that hasn't changed..." Jessie uttered under her breath as she kicked her foot against the doorway, clearly trying to avert her eyes from her brother. Despite the attempt, JJ picked up on her hesitancy. He knew she was off.

"Hey..." He responded as she got up to sit on the side of the bed. "What's up with you? You've got it made, Jessie."

Jessie just stayed silent for a couple seconds as she tried to form her words, she still managed not to make eye contact with her brother as she shrugged and just walked around the guest room.

"Doesn't this all seem just..." Jessie began, but she couldn't find the right word.

"Not you?" JJ completed the sentence for her. "Yeah, without a doubt... but Jess... this is what's best for you... and Charley. You two deserve this."

Jessie still didn't have a response. Despite her brother's words, she didn't want to let him in on how she truly felt about the arrangements. She knew if she did there's no way she'd be staying here... or that JJ would never leave. He wouldn't be able to if he knew how imprisoned she felt in her own home and in her own marriage.

"Jessie." JJ pulled her out of her thoughts, to which she darted her wide eyes over to him, waiting for his next words. "I know you might not wanna hear this... but you're made for this."

"Perfect for what?" Jessie asked with annoyance in her voice as she shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, feeling defeated.

"This life! You're the wife of a millionaire whose soul earnings come from underground "sales". You're a gang member, you might as well be in the mafia! You know how to negotiate. You know how to read people better than anyone else in this world. You and Rafe have always been like Bonnie and Clyde. How do you not see this?" JJ asked in disbelief.

"It's not the job that I have a problem with, Jayj." Jessie whispered as she finally unfolded her arms and walked over to her brother to sit beside him. "It's the fact that the job comes with appearances and prestige. I'm not some prim and proper, clean cut, lady like, socialite. I'm just Jessie."

"And Rafe fell in love with Jessie..." JJ assured. "And he's not gonna want you be anything else other than that."

Oh how wrong JJ was. Jessie couldn't help but think if only he knew just who Rafe wanted her to be.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 70

Rafe couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation the two siblings were having. What started as genuinely trying to make sure everyone was settled in turned into calculating his breaths and trying not to creek the wood floor to give away his whereabouts.

"And he's not gonna want you be anything else other than that."

The words cut Rafe deep, but what twisted the knife was the fact that Jessie didn't refute it. He only heard an undoubtedly awkward hush come over the two siblings. Without even seeing his wife, he knew exactly what she was doing. She was looking down at the floor with her lips sewn together trying not to say what she really thinks.

Rafe knows what she thinks.

JJ was right, though. Rafe didn't want Jessie to be anything else other than herself... but what he needed her to be... well, that was a different story. The same went for Rafe, what he wanted to be was not the same as what he needed to be. Rafe wanted to be the present father that wasn't so damn wrapped up in work all the time. But he needed to be the business man his father created him to be. He needed to be the breadwinner for the family. He needed to give his girls the best life had to offer, as he felt like anything less was a disservice to them. Not to mention, anything less is something he didn't grow up to be proud of. The Cameron's were always the best in their class, no matter what that looked like. If he was going to carry out the life he was destined for, he was gonna do it right.

Rafe didn't want to be addicted to cocaine, yet he needed a hit now more than ever due to the sudden feeling of inadequacy he felt once again. It was a feeling that was becoming familiar to Rafe all over again. He'd like to think that the past week of a stalemate between him and his brooding wife would have helped him kick the habit, but it only sucked him in more, soon enough he found himself using the same amount as he did before Jessie left. The memory scared him more than he could explain... yet he couldn't stop. Rafe felt worse about the using this time around. This time around it felt like he was cheating on Jessie, as she still had no clue he had fallen into bad habits. Yet the cocaine suddenly became more tantalizing, more seductive. The drug now was doing better at making him happy than Jessie was. The thought killed him, but ironically, the only thing that could convince Rafe to stop thinking about the disappointment would be to hit a line. So that's exactly what he did. Christmas wasn't supposed to be like this... his life wasn't supposed to be like this. But suddenly he couldn't see any other way he could smile for the pictures and get through this day knowing what his wife thought of him behind closed doors.

Rafe creeped over into his office just a few doors down and managed to form a neat white line. The same white line managed to block out Jessie's long hair, perfect lips, and curves every time. Once he recovered from the high, he decided to sneak back out as if nothing had happened, even though he would feel the effects of his rendezvous for hours.

"What're we doing?" Rafe asked as he walked back into the kitchen. Of course, the question was rhetorical, as he could clearly see what was going on.

"Making gingerbread houses." Jessie replied as she set the icing down and looked over at her husband.

"Daddyyyy" Charley squealed.

"Yes, darling?"

"Mommy and me and you have to make one togetherrrrr."

Why the toddler insisted on all three of them making a gingerbread house together? Nobody really knew, but Rafe didn't dare deny his child's wishes.

"Alright, sweetheart. What can I do to help?"

"Well you can help me hold the house in place while I glue it together." Jessie stated, to which Rafe obliged. He took notice of how everyone had paired off... he raised his eyebrows at the flirting coming from JJ and Kiara... that was a new development. Or maybe it wasn't, and he just hadn't looked up long enough to notice. He also noticed that Sarah and John B had their own gingerbread house to make... leaving Pope all alone.

"Hey Charley." Rafe spoke up, to which his daughter turned her attention up to him.

"Uncle Pope is all alone, why don't you go help him make his house, yeah?"

Charley looked in between her father and Pope, who was now smiling from ear to ear at the thought of not being the seventh wheel.

"I could really use your help, Charley!" He exclaimed. Everyone could tell the toddler was seriously considering the offer. She looked back up at her father with determination behind her eyes and a point of her finger.

"Okay... but you have to help mommy!" Charley demanded as she pointed at her father with narrowed eyes. The threat somehow worked, and yet Rafe couldn't help but giggle. She was just like her mother. Everyone else snickered at the very same realization. Rafe simply held his hand to his chest and the other in the air, taking the threat rather seriously.

"I promise." He replied. Charley folded her arms and nodded her head and marched over to her uncle Pope. The two extra wheels ended up winning the contest for best gingerbread house...

- - -

"Alright, everyone! Gather around! We're all gonna open one gift!" Jessie yelled throughout the house as everyone made their way in the living room, getting comfortable on the couches and some sitting on the floor closer to the tree. Of course, the ones sitting closer to the tree were Charley and JJ, both for the same reason... pure excitement.

"Alright, Char Char..." JJ rubbed his hands together in angst as he leaned down to his niece. "So the way this works is we all get one present tonight, and then we'll open the rest in the morning. Got it?"

"Got it!" The toddler exclaimed, who was now bouncing up and down, clearly unable to contain her joy.

Rafe sauntered into the living room with a bottle of champagne and glasses, setting them down carefully and walking over to his wife with a smile. He wrapped an arm around her and she did the same. Show time.

"Alright, so I know you guys all came here with your gifts for each other... but Jessie and I wanted to do something a little different this year."

The pogues looked up intently waiting for his next words.

"Since this is our first Christmas together as a family... and Jessie and I's first Christmas... ever... we wanted to just give each of you guys a present from us for tonight."

"So each of you have a present underneath the tree, so go find it!" Jessie exclaimed. The couple watched as their friends dug through the presents, looking for the one that belonged to them, and ripping them open with fury. Despite this being Jessie and Rafe's first Christmas together... they could both agree on one thing: a free for all was necessary when it came to gift opening. They both hated the idea of everyone opening their gifts one at a time. Nobody in that room had the patience for that. Especially not their three year old.

A slough of oohs and ahs filled the room as everyone gawked at their presents, JJ got a new hat and a pack of beer, John B got a hat rack (since his hats were always thrown everywhere), Kie got a turtle themed skateboard, Sarah got some new sneakers she had been wanting, Pope got a new book he has also been eyeing, and Charley got a new treasure chest for her toys, one that was much more colorful than the one she had in her room currently.

"Mommy, look!" The toddler screamed as she pointed to her new toy and peddled her feet up and down. Her parents both smiled as her father went to go open the champagne.

"I see it, baby! How cool!" Jessie replied as if she hadn't seen it already.

"And guess what Charley?" Sarah spoke up as she crawled over to her niece with a mischievous smile. "Santa's gonna bring you more tomorrow morning!"

Charley erupted in cheers and applause as she ran around the living room, which caused everyone to laugh.

"I wanna go put toys in it nooooow!" She begged as she ran back over to her treasure chest.

"Well then let's get to it!" John B responded as he jumped up to grab the box. It was too big for one person to carry, but thankfully, JJ understood the assignment and helped him carry it out. Charley stood underneath it, her arms barely tall enough to touch the bottom of it to try and help. The boys let the box down just slightly so Charley could "carry" it as well. The Pogues all followed the little girl to her room to help her redistribute her toys, which would undoubtedly turn into show and tell.

Jessie and Rafe both laughed as they watched the scene unfold, and after everyone finally made their way out of the living room, Jessie turned back around to see Rafe standing there with two glasses of champagne in his hands. He extended one to his wife. Her smile faded just slightly as she remembered her new vow not to drink since that night at her old apartment when everything broke loose. She still didn't want to mess with any gateway drugs, even alcohol. Rafe picked up on the subtle change of demeanor as he watched his wife eye the drink in her hand.

"You don't have to drink it." He said simply. Jessie darted her eyes back up to her husband, feeling like her secret was out. Rafe just chuckled. "I know you haven't been drinking, Jess. Don't think I haven't picked up on it."

A silence feel between them and Jessie let an awkward laugh escape her lips.

"Do... you have something you want to tell me?" Rafe asked softly, trying not to intrude. But he couldn't ignore the fact that his wife had stopped drinking cold turkey. Whether she realized it or not, Rafe knew her inside and out. She looked up at the man in front of her with furrowed brows, now suddenly really confused.

"Like what...?" She trailed off. Rafe just shrugged and looked around the room, unsure of what to say. He stared at Jessie with an inquisition that gave away exactly what he was looking for. Jessie's mouth dropped open and she choked on the words trying to come out of her mouth.

"O-oh... I'm not pregnant." Jessie assured as she exhaled deeply and shook her head frantically. Rafe let go of the breath he was holding in too followed by a slight laugh.

"Well good... I guess." Rafe tried to joke. He would love to have more kids with Jessie, but he knew now sure as hell wasn't the time. Jessie laughed and looked down at the floor awkwardly, playing with the shaggy carpet underneath her bare feet.

"I just... uh... haven't been drinking since..."

"Since the fight..." Rafe finished the sentence for her, now looking at her with kind eyes and a soft smile. "Yeah... I know." He whispered, now taking his free hand and cupping her face. This is the first genuinely gentle touch Jessie had felt since everything happened. For the past week every touch felt motivated out of lust or manipulation. This time, Jessie knew Rafe had his guard down.

"It's just that... drugs and alcohol was kinda what got us in this mess in the first place and... I just don't wanna give me or you anymore chances to mess this up again."

Jessie had her guard down too, and Rafe could tell by her words. He nodded his head and swallowed the lump in his throat. Not being able to look her in the eyes knowing his secret, he let go of her face, his hand suddenly feeling cold and heavy. He looked down at the ground, only being able to look at her red painted toenails. He nodded his head slowly, managing the strength to look back up.

"Yeah... I know." That's all that he could manage to say. He had to divert the conversation. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath as if to internally recollect himself. Jessie could tell he was ready to move on from the potentially deep conversation, and she wasn't surprised. "So I know you've seen that big ass box wrapped behind the tree." Rafe said with a smile and a nod of his head in that direction.

"How could I not? I know I didn't buy whatever that is." Jessie joked right back, getting back into character like nothing happened.

"It's for you." Rafe replied with a chuckle. Jessie just looked at the long, thin box that came up to her waist in confusion. "Go on... open it." Rafe insisted as he stepped aside.

Jessie showed clear hesitation on her face but slowly began walking over to the present, carefully setting down her champagne she still hadn't taken a sip of. She carefully slid the box across rhetorical floor just enough to get it out from behind the massive tree. She looked at Rafe, who silently implored her to go on. She ripped open the beautiful dark green paper and revealed a box with bright colors printed on the front of it. She gasped, and couldn't help but kick her head back in laughter, joy now spread across her face as she looked at her sneaky sneaky husband.

"It's a TV... for the living room... so we can all watch our shows together." Rafe explained softly. What seemed like such an impersonal gift to outsiders was just what Jessie needed to see the human side of Rafe again. She could tell he had put thought into this one. She scoffed and shook her head as she walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You are unbelievable." She stated with a laugh as they swayed back and forth.

"Yeah, well... I figured we could give up the museum look anyways..." He joked back as he leaned down to kiss Jessie passionately. Through laughs, Jessie deepened the kiss, now bringing her hands to his face. Rafe smiled into the kiss as he realized what she was doing. He wrapped his arms tighter around her body, trying not to let her escape as he kissed her harder and began backing her up towards their room.

"I bet Charley's keeping them busy with her toys... we have a while." Rafe whispered in between kisses as he continued to walk his wife back. Despite clearly enjoying it, Jessie shook her head and moved her hands towards Rafe's chest to push him back.

"Uh uh." Jessie replied with a cheeky grin. "Just our luck they'll be out any minute wondering where we are." She said as she pulled away from his tight grip, sending him into a fit of groans. Jessie just giggled and walked back towards the living room, passing it and going towards her daughter's room.

"And fix your pants." Jessie hinted as she pointed down towards her husband's crotch.

"Well if you didn't make us all wear paper thin pajama pants we wouldn't have this problem now would we?"

Jessie just laughed and shook her head as he made her way to Charley's room to see her new set up.

The rest of the night was spent eating homemade cookies and watching Christmas movies. Jessie and Rafe managed to put Charley to bed, albeit it was extra difficult to get her to settle in given that her favorite people were still awake and Santa was coming. Eventually the Pogues turned into their rooms as well, leaving the couple to finally be able to set out the rest of the gifts for everyone. Of course, before they could even get one gift out, Jessie shushed her husband, as she heard the creak of a door and tiny little footsteps coming down the hall. She looked at Rafe with a smirk as she turned around to reveal none other than their daughter. Rafe watched as his wife stuck her hands on her hips with sass and gave his child a knowing look as she cocked her head.

"And what are you doing up, missy?" Jessie asked, already knowing the answer. She began to round the corner of the couch to get closer to her daughter. Charley of course had a shy smile on her face as she rocked back and forth. God, Rafe couldn't take the cuteness. Suddenly he thought maybe one more hour of staying awake with her wouldn't be so bad?

"I don't knoooooow." Charley replied as she retreated her face behind her hands.

"Yeah right," Jessie bantered. "You know you're not supposed to be up!" She said with feigned aggravation as she picked her daughter up and set her on her hip. Charley giggled, knowing her mother was just playing alone, and rested her head comfortably on Jessie's shoulder. Charley looked over at her father with her big doe eyes.

"You know I can't help you out of this one, princess." Rafe answered his daughter's silent plea as he stuck his hands in his pockets and shook his head. Charley looked up at her mother.

"I can't sleeeeeeep... Will you sing to me?"

"Of course I can, baby."

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 71

One thing Rafe never forgot about was Jessie's angelic voice. After all, her singing was what drew him in in the first place... how could he not remember that beautiful voice singing freely at the Island Club that fateful night? Rafe seemed to think his wife didn't sing enough. He always wished she was one of those girls that sang mindlessly throughout the house as she cooked or cleaned or one of those girls that sang ballads in the shower... but she wasn't. Jessie seemed to like to keep that party trick reserved most of the time, Rafe figured mostly due to fear of putting herself out there in that way. As bold as Jessie was, Rafe could never figure out why this was the thing she was hesitant to bring to light. She always seemed to need a good reason to sing, such as having too much alcohol or her sweet toddler asking her to do so. Rafe was grateful his daughter got to hear her mother's voice from time to time. He couldn't get the sweet picture out of his head. He loved how the bond between the two. Although he wanted to give the girls their privacy, he couldn't help but want to hear his wife sing just one more time.

Rafe crept down the hall, waiting mere moments for his wife to get settled into the white rocker in the corner of their daughter's bedroom. He didn't dare peek around the corner for too long, for fear that his wife would see him and suddenly get stage fright. From what he managed to see, it appeared that Jessie was now settled in the rocker with only her side profile visible. He noticed how she had Charley perfectly swaddled in the blanket of her choice, laying comfortably in her lap as she started rocking back and forth.

"You comfortable, baby?" Jessie asked as she finished tucking the blanket underneath the little girl. Charley nodded in silent response as she nuzzled in closer to her mother's side.

"What do you want me to sing this time?"

This time. She had been singing to Charley for god knows how long. The thought made Rafe's heart flutter. He teared up at the idea that Jessie might have sang to his child many a night. God how he wished he could've been there.

"Rainbow!" The toddler exclaimed, to which Jessie chuckled and nodded in understanding.

"When It rains, it pours, but you didn't even notice. It ain't raining anymore, it's hard to breathe when all you know is..."

There's that voice. The voice that Rafe had only heard in his mind for the past four years. The voice he heard in his dreams, and even in his every day interactions. It was impossible for him to get away from some days. She sounded like an angel then, and somehow she only got better over time. Years ago she sang like a free spirited girl, this time... she sang like a mother.

"If you could see what I see, you'd be blinded by the colors, yellow, red, orange, and green, and at least a million others."

Rafe rounded the corner, feeling it was safe to stay and watch for just a moment. He couldn't help himself. He watched as his daughter slowly closed her heavy eyes and fell to sleep. He noticed Jessie rocking back and forth as she simply looked at Charley with kind eyes and stroked her cheek with the back of her hand soothingly.

Jessie loved singing to Charley, but this song always had a special meaning for her and the child. It was the first song Jessie sang to her daughter when it was just the two of them alone in an endless New York hospital. It was the song she always sang when she had had a rough day at work or was a little extra home sick. It was the song she sang to Charley when she was robbed of sleep or hurt in anyway. It always seemed to soothe the both of them, sometimes for totally different reasons.

"Oh tie up the boat, take off your coat, and take a look around... everything is alright now."

Jessie always sang those words more to herself than to her daughter, and the song singlehandedly got her through more hard times than anything else could. In the midst of her fight with Rafe, she couldn't help but feel like this song once again met her where she was at in life like it always had managed to do so perfectly.

Despite being stuck out in the same storm again, Jessie sang this song to her daughter, knowing that a rainbow was always shining over the two of them, and no matter what happened, the two of them would always make it through. She had more strength now then ever to keep going with this new life, knowing that at the end of the day it really would all be alright, no matter what her relationship looked like with Rafe, or what her life looked like as a newfound socialite. Had the sky finally opened for Jessie? She wasn't so sure, but she knew that her and Charley would make it.

Rafe now couldn't help but bring himself into full view by the time the song was over, now planting himself on the doorway with his hands in his pockets and tears in his eyes. He wished he could stay right there forever, watching his girls feel safe enough to tune out the outside world and share such an intentional moment.

Jessie stroked her daughter's cheek, knowing that she was now sound asleep. She looked up and breathed a sigh of relief, also expressing a look that showed she felt that moment was grounding for her as well. She needed to sing that song to herself more than anything. Rafe could see that too. Jessie finally swayed the rocker just enough to face closer to the doorway, where she met Rafe's tearful eyes. She pursed her lips and exhaled, showing sympathy to her husband. Rafe was grateful she wasn't upset.

"I'm sorry for eavesdropping." Rafe choked out with a slight smile. Jessie just laughed slightly and shook her head.

"It's okay."

"You sounded beautiful."

Jessie was never able to take that particular compliment well, and even though Rafe knew his girl inside and out, he had never managed to figure why she was so guarded about her singing. Jessie looked down, clearly trying to collect herself, and looked back up with a half smile.

"Thanks." She simply replied. With that, she slowly arose from the rocker and laid their daughter softly in her new big girl bed, carefully tucking her in. Rafe went over to the corner to turn off the lamp and walked his wife out of the room. Once he had closed the door they both stood in the hallway looking at each other with soft expressions. Both of them were tired, physically and mentally, yet they couldn't deny the need for intimate moments like this. Their eyes gave that away, the both of them looking at each other with a love and desire that still burned so bright. The hope behind their soft smiles couldn't be ignored.

"Let's get these presents under the tree and get to bed." Rafe said sweetly as he took his wife's hand to lead her back to the living room.

- - -

JJ felt a sudden heaviness on his shirtless chest the next morning. In his sleep induced coma he couldn't help but think maybe all that smoking finally caught up to him? Wait, no, that was a child... it was Charley. He opened his eyes just enough to see the toddler sitting comfortably on his chest with her head bent down looking intently for any sign of life.

Once Charley saw her uncle's head move just slightly, she poked his cheek softly.

"Uncle JJ..." the child whispered with a sheepish grin. He opened his eyes a little more.

"What?" He groaned, the facade of the happy go lucky uncle clearly fallen when he was woken up. Charley didn't care.

"Time to wake uuuuup..." she cooed, still gently enough so as not to wake up the sleeping Aunt Kie right beside them. JJ tried not to get upset as he realized his niece was simply excited because it was Christmas. He opted to get up and take his niece out of the room.

"Hey Char Char... I've got an idea..." JJ said with a smirk on his face as he wiggled his eyebrows at the toddler on his hip. She smiled wide waiting for his answer.

"How about you go wake up mommy and daddy and I'll wake up everyone else, yeah? But you gotta promise me you will walk straight past the Christmas tree and go only to mommy and daddy's room, okayyyy?"

"Okayyyy..." Charley replied bashfully. JJ wasn't fully convinced the toddler could come through on such a big promise, and the doubt was clear on his face. After all, this was the spawn of Jessie and Rafe... did he really expect her not to get into the presents that would be right in front of her and only her? Yeah, right.

"Iiiiii will just walk you over there." He replied. "Cover your eyes!" He pointed with determination, to which the child obliged.

"I may have to cover my eyes too." JJ said with disgust as he walked closer to his sister's room, not knowing what in the world he would walk into. It wouldn't be the first time he walked into more than he bargained for with those two. Thankfully, Charley still had her eyes closed as well as he opened the door with one eye hesitantly opened. They were sleeping. Thank god. With that, JJ let the little girl down on the ground and silently motioned for her to go in there and do what she does best: disrupt their sleep. He closed the door and went back to do the same to the pogues. Any other day they'd be pissed that they were woken up so early, but the truth is, they all knew they wanted to wake up with Charley to open gifts with her... like a real family.

Charley's footsteps could be heard paddling against the carpet, and pretty soon Rafe felt a slight dip in the bed at his feet as he realized his daughter was trying to get up on the bed. When she realized the bed was too tall for her to get up on by herself, she went to the very end and used the cushioned seat to get a step up. Little did the toddler know her dad had put that there for that very reason. He felt her crawl in between him and Jessie, but she didn't lay down of course. She was too excited. He knew she would be. The next step was no surprise. Even though Rafe had his eyes closed, he knew exactly what his little girl was doing: eyeing him like a hawk, waiting for any sign of stirring, any quickened breath, any twitch of an eyelid, literally anything. She wouldn't find it this time, despite her father being wide awake unbeknownst to her.

The toddler stuck her tongue out and furrowed her brows, clearly thinking about her next move. She slowly leaned into her father, ready with her little finger to poke at his face like she always did. Right as her hand was mere inches from her father's face, she heard a voice that startled her.

"We're gonna have to work on your sneaking around, kid." The low raspy voice of her father finally muttered, now with one eye open and a smirk on his face. Charley jumped at the sudden noise and retreated backwards with her hands to her chest, hoping her father wouldn't have caught on to what she was planning on doing before he so abruptly woke up. She giggled at the man in front of her and buried her head in the crook of his neck looking for a hug. Rafe of course wrapped his arms lazily around his daughter and sat up in the bed with a groan. He set the girl comfortably on his lap.

"Merry Christmas, Charlotte." Rafe whispered with a kind smile and a kiss to her forehead.

"Merry Christmas, daddyyy." Charley replied with a slight lisp. The words were enough to draw Jessie out of her sleep as well, and the father and daughter both darted their eyes over to the woman of the hour stirring awake with an exaggerated stretch. She rolled over to see one of her favorite sights: her daughter fixed safely in her father's strong arms with a smile on both of their faces as they looked at her expectantly.

"Merry Christmas, mama." Rafe whispered to Jessie as he leaned in and locked eyes on her lips. She caught his drift and she cupped his face with a smile. The nickname always made her heart flutter.

"Merry Christmas." She replied softly as she kissed him deeply. By now Charley was up out of her daddy's lap and jumping on the bed.

"It's Christmas, mommy!" She exclaimed as she kept bouncing through excitement. Despite the couple only trying to deepen the kiss, the constant moving of the bed was making it very difficult.

"Mommy!" Charley protested once again, this time much louder and now with a fierceness to her tone. The toddler crawled towards her parents, clearly trying to get their attention. It worked.

"What?" Jessie sighed with a playful smile on her face, showing fake annoyance. At least Charley saw that it was fake. Rafe could tell it wasn't. But he was just as distracted, needing Jessie arguably more than she needed him in that moment, especially considering they never finished what was started last night after their little gift exchange. Rafe continued to pepper soft but intentional kisses along Jessie's jawline and down her neck, knowing that always got her.

"It's time to open presents! Daddy! Get off mommy!" Charley said in her broken English.

"Yeah, daddy..." A different but familiar feminine voice billowed through the door. It was none other than Sarah, with her arms folded, hip cocked, and eyebrow raised. "Get off mommy." She responded playfully. Her brother turned his head, now with actual annoyance written on his face, his hands still managing to find more of his wife's body by the minute. Jessie just snickered at the exchange between the siblings.

"Daddy's about to open his present." Rafe snapped right back at his sister, which earned a disgusted look from Sarah and a swift slap from his wife.

"You're ridiculous!" Jessie laughed as she got out of bed, earning a groan from her husband. She picked up Charley and took her to the living room, but not before stopping at the door with her sister in law.

"We'll be waiting." Sarah said obnoxiously.

"Yeah, well, you're gonna have to give me a minute." Rafe said nonchalantly as he rested his head on the headboard, clearly in no rush to get out from under the covers. Both Jessie and Sarah knew why.

"Oh god." Sarah scoffed as she rolled her eyes and walked the rest of the way out of the room to meet the Pogues by the tree. Jessie once again couldn't help but laugh. Rafe was too easily flustered sometimes.

"Hey Jessie, wait here?" Rafe asked before she could close the door.

"Rafe, I'm not-"

"That's not what I meant... I meant, I have something for you out in the living room but I don't want you to see it without me."

Jessie hesitated, feeling like this might definitely be a trap to get her back in bed, but she could tell he had a new plea on his face, a sincere one. So, she handed the toddler off to Sarah and waited for Rafe.

Once Rafe got out of bed and put his sweatpants on, he took Jessie's hand in his with a smile and led her out to the living room, where all the Pogues awaited. Of course, once again, Charley and JJ were seated perfectly by the tree Indian style waiting patiently. Jessie couldn't hold her focus on them for too long due to the obvious new addition in their living room. 

"Oh my gosh! Rafe!" Jessie gasped as she looked at the new sectional couch that replaced the stupid white cashmere one she hated. This one was much darker, and was a soft material that could withstand the whims of a three year old. Jessie laughed at the thought that her husband had put into the gift. Rafe beamed as he saw how excited she got.

"Why're you freaking out, Jess? It's just a couch?" JJ sassed, clearly not impressed and more so confused. The Pogues didn't want to admit it, but they were confused as well. It was just a couch... right?

Oh how wrong they were, much like the tv, this was another step in the right direction. Another chance for Rafe to prove that he was listening to his wife. Another reason for her to believe that she wasn't just some pawn in this game of business, but his partner in life. Jessie's face showed that gratitude. She shook her head in disbelief with a smile on her face as she pulled Rafe in for a passionate kiss. He accepted it by pulling her in by her waist. JJ couldn't help but let out a clear groan of disapproval.

"Get a room!" John B spoke up, now hopping on the bandwagon with his best friend. The couple laughed and looked at their daughter, who looked like she had ants in her pants. Jessie could tell she simply couldn't wait any longer, and the silence was killing the toddler.

"Go on Charley!" Jessie answered her child's silent plea, which resulted in her of course ripping into everything she saw like a tornado.

Jessie and Rafe took a seat on their brand new comfy couch as they watched their new family open all the gifts they deserved. For once in a long time, the two of them felt like they really were going to be alright. Even the magic of Christmas was able to mask the rift between them, at least for one day.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 73

Rafe led his Jessie out onto the open floor, where people had been mindlessly swaying for hours to light contemporary music. They began to do the same, both gazing into the other's eyes with a warmth they hadn't felt in a while.

"It seems like the MM are doing pretty well here." Rafe spoke up, not letting go of the eye contact.

"I told you they would be just fine." Jessie replied with a soft smile. Rafe laughed and looked down, with a nod of understanding.

"You were right." He stated plainly. A little moment of silence elapsed before Rafe finally mustered up the courage to say what he had been waiting to say for years.

"Jessie..."

His wife waited patiently for his next words, raising her brows and leaning in a little more. He looked down and swallowed the lump in his throat, trying not to show his nerves. He looked back up at Jessie with a newfound seriousness that almost concerned her.

"I have something I want to give you."

Jessie knitted her brows together in clear confusion. The couple still managed to sway back and forth to the piano while Rafe carefully rummaged through his pants pocket. He eventually pulled out the tiny black box and carefully opened it, revealing the gorgeous ring that caught the warm mood lighting perfectly. Jessie's jaw dropped, but she was still confused... she already had a ring?

"This... is my mom's ring..." Rafe trailed off as he looked at his wife with hope behind his eyes. "And I want you to wear it."

"Rafe I can't-"

"She'd want you to, Jess... you're the girl she's always dreamed of for me. And if she were here right now I know she'd do the same."

Jessie choked on her words, suddenly feeling like the room was getting hotter and smaller. She looked around to see the pogues were now all standing comfortably at the bar with smiles on their faces watching the exchange. Oh god. This was not about to be pretty. She took a deep labored breath and looked back up at Rafe. However, her expression was not one of unbelief and gratitude like Rafe expected. Instead, she looked... conflicted... and a little distraught. He was now the one to wear the confusion across his face. Jessie shook her head slowly, trying to choose her next words carefully. Rafe suddenly was overwhelmed with fear of what she was going to say next. He could also feel the room getting tighter and tighter with each passing second. The ringing in his ears was too much to bear, but suddenly Jessie's voice cut right through it.

"Rafe." She spoke up just loud enough for him to hear. Her eyes were now locked on the man in front of her and her jaw was clenched. Shit. She was angry... but why? "I thought you would have come to me by now." She whispered in an eerily calm demeanor as she shook her head in disappointment.

"What do you mean?" Rafe asked, now with his brows furrowed. He was begging for her to elaborate.

"You really think I don't know?" Jessie spat, now playing with a neutral expression on her face. It looked as if she was hiding a smirk.

"Know what?" Rafe asked, clearly playing dumb. He wanted to let go of Jessie and back away slowly for fear of what was to come, yet suddenly he felt her grip tighten, as if to silently say that they were about to have this tough, ugly conversation in front of every one. She laughed as she looked down for a split second.

"About the coke." Jessie finally answered. Rafe still tried to play it off like he was clueless.

"W-what? Jessie? What coke?"

Jessie just laughed and bit her lip.

"Rafe... you really don't think I'm that stupid do you?"

She knew. Rafe realized there was no hiding it anymore. Tears began to fill his eyes and his lip began to quiver. Yet he still danced, for fear of what would happen if he stopped.

"H-how-"

"I've known for a long time now, Rafe." She interrupted. Yet her ability to never lose her cool was always what made Rafe so uneasy.

"B-but why didn't you-"

"I wanted to give you the opportunity to either fix your mistake or come to me about it... and seeing as you've done neither and clearly have no intention of telling me before putting your own mothers ring on my finger... I can't let it slide by anymore. I won't."

Rafe struggled to breathe. All he could utter were two simple words.

"How long?"

Ironically, Jessie's face still showed some sort of odd sympathy, yet Rafe knew it was all an act for the party going on around them. She cupped his face in her hand, which now felt ice cold to him, much like her calculated words.

"I've know the whole time."

Rafe still couldn't catch his breath, now just standing there with his mouth wide open and his eyes searching for any sign of understanding from the woman he loved. He wouldn't find any.

"I knew you were strung out the night we had dinner out on the patio at the Bahamas. I knew you were on coke the night we fought in my old apartment. I knew you were high the night of our little dinner party with the shareholders, and every time in between, Rafe."

Rafe was now shaking at the realization that Jessie was not bluffing. Then again, she never did. He couldn't find many words.

"H-how did you-"

"Rafe..." she interrupted, this time with a smirk that wasn't trying to be hidden. "I know you..." she whispered. God, she was right. Rafe thought how could he be so stupid, thinking Jessie couldn't see right through him this whole time? "I know you better than anyone in this world... I know you better than you know yourself... and that's always been what makes us and what breaks us."

Rafe felt like he was going to puke. Jessie was unpredictable... almost unreadable in the moment. Yet the party continued around them, with nobody having any clue what hell just broke loose between the matriarch and patriarch of this party.

"Rafe..." Jessie went on, toying with a grin. "This whole time you've felt the need to tell me how to play this game. Telling me how I need to act, what I need to say, and how I need to move strategically in order to give our family a shot at a better life ... you still think I'm some hot head who's always going to say what I think and not consider the consequences of my actions..." Jessie paused, licking her lips and allowing Rafe to hang on to her every word. She still swayed to the music in perfect frame. She pushed her eyebrows together as she locked eyes with her husband.

"I know exactly how to play this game. Don't you ever think for one damn second I don't know what it means to hold my tongue for the sake of someone I love." She said, this time her eyes shifted to a darkness he hadn't seen before. It was a rage that she had masked for god knows how long. Jessie had Rafe in the palm of her hand, and he could feel her starting to crush his facade slowly, all while maintaining hers. This. This moment right here, was exactly what her upbringing had prepared her for. Rafe had never seen anyone... not even him... not even his father... with the ability to read people like Jessie did. It was her sixth sense.

The words made Rafe's heart stop. He was convinced it actually would have if he hadn't still been somehow standing up. He felt Jessie finally drop his hand in the middle of the dance floor and walk away. He stood there with his feet planted on the floor as he watched Jessie slide right past the Pogues to get a glass of champagne from the bar like nothing had happened, the gentle sway of her backless dress now emphasized by her loose hips. There she was... still playing the game too damn well. She uttered a few words to her brother and whisked herself away. Rafe just watched as she calmly exited through the grand doors. He had no clue what to do.

The fact that Jessie just waltzed out of the room as if she hadn't just dropped a bomb on his life was the first thing that came to his numb mind. Suddenly, his insecurity turned to downright storm clouds behind his eyes. Although he needed to stay and entertain, he knew he wouldn't be able to, not with the anger that was impossible for him to hide. He seethed at the idea of her sauntering back into their home, feeling accomplished with the way she left him and him having to go on with the night and explain why she wasn't there. Now he was the one who felt like he was a pawn that his wife was clearly in control of. How the tables had turned.

He shouldn't have been as infuriated as he was considering that he had been keeping just as big of a secret— if not bigger— from his wife. Yet he couldn't ignore the burning in his chest and the fire in his brain. He took short breaths and clinched his fists together, trying his damndest not to let anyone there see him sweat. Not the Pogues, not the MM, and certainly not his shareholders. But god, he couldn't just stand there. Before he had the opportunity to be swept away by more mindless chatter from some random, he trudged past the crowd and walked straight out of the room, leaving the party without a host.

Rafe walked through the Fourier and towards his private elevator. He had assumed that Jessie had done the same just minutes before. As he was going up to the top floor he couldn't help but pace in that tiny box. Should he be upset? Should he be grateful? Should he take it out on Jessie? Who exactly was he upset with? He had no answers. Finally, the ding of the elevator rang through and the doors opened. He marched down to the last door and jingled his keys around to unlock it. He cursed Jessie under his breath for being petty enough to lock the door. He swung it wide open to reveal his wife sitting on the couch with a glass of champagne in her hand and her silk dress still on. Despite her looking rather comfortable, Rafe could tell she was anything but. She still had her shoes on, which meant she was prepared to leave at any moment. In fact, he noticed she changed into her dirty white converse. She wasn't just prepared to leave, she was prepared to run... or fight.

Even though the thud of the door swinging against the wall was loud enough to wake the dead, Jessie simply rotated her head achingly slow to see her seething husband at the entrance. His jaw was locked, eyes narrowed, nose flared, and chest bowed. She lived for it.

"What the hell was that out there, huh?" Rafe fumed, now walking in the living room, suddenly feeling like his tie was suffocating him and opting to loosen it.

"It was me confronting you." Jessie replied plainly— almost sarcastically— not daring to drop the eye contact as she took a sip of her champagne. She hated the stuff, but she needed a buzz.

"A-a-and you didn't think to do that shit in private weeks ago? You are unbelievable, Jessie Cameron!"

"How is this my fault?" Jessie sassed right back, now standing up. "You're the one that willingly hid your coke addiction from me for weeks!"

"I was gonna tell you-"

"Bullshit, Rafe!" A pause came over them as Rafe realized he had been called out once more. "The longer you hide it the easier it gets. I knew that! I saw the distance in your eyes weeks ago! I was going to confront you after the holidays but tonight... when you wanted to put that ring on my finger... I couldn't do it. Not when I knew you were lying to me. Your mother deserved better."

"Don't tell me what my mother deserves Jessica!" Rafe was now screaming from the top of his lungs. Jessie knew she made the right choice when she told JJ to keep Charley downstairs no matter what until she texted him. Jessie just paused, looking at the man in front of her with disgust.

"You're a monster." She said with disgust.

"You made the monster... twice."

Jessie sucked in a breath as she realized just what Rafe meant. Now she was the one being confronted with her own part in this disaster. The fact that she had introduced— and reintroduced— her husband to coke was the sin she couldn't forgive herself for even if she tried. And she had tried. She constantly told herself that it wasn't her fault that Rafe took his addiction too far. But she learned that two things can be true at the same time. Rafe hadn't seemed to understand that just yet. The words alone took the fire out of her breath and the fierceness out of her eyes. She now teared up at the scary reality that Rafe actually blamed her for this... and she did too.

"Rafe..." she squeaked out, still trying to hold onto her determination through short breaths. "You didn't deserve what happened to you... but neither did I." Jessie hoped those words were enough for Rafe to find his fault in this as well. Clearly Jessie had. The guilt of it had eaten away at her for years.

Rafe felt he had cast plenty of blame on himself all the way up until this point. Why he couldn't see past his rage? He didn't know.

"I'm having a hard time forgiving you this time..." Jessie said. Rafe laughed and put his hands on his hips as he looked down. He shook his head and clicked his tongue, clearly not believing what he was hearing. He popped his head back up with a fake smile.

"You know what, Jessie? I'm having a hard time forgiving you this time."

Jessie looked down at her husband's shoes and played with the skin on her lips. He noticed her posture deflate at his words. It seemed they were at an impasse. Jessie just looked around for the words.

"Well then I guess... neither one of us know where to go from here." She said as she threw her hands up in defeat. The words cut deep for both of them. A hush fell between them as they both realized what this meant.

"I guess it does." Rafe tried to say nonchalantly with a flustered shrug of his shoulders .

"Rafe..." Jessie continued, this time no longer masking the clear hopelessness in her voice and eyes. He watched her intently. "Were no good for each other. When we're together all we know how to do is be irresponsible. This isn't high school anymore. Besides ... neither one of us had any love to give in the first place... we both knew that."

Yet another reality check that stung a little too much for either of them to handle. Yet Rafe tried to keep his composure. He shrugged and blinked back tears.

"We didn't know how." He replied, with a nod indicating he understood. That was the sad reality neither one of them had voiced until this very moment. The couple once bonded over their warped perception of love... and yet now it was their downfall.

"So there's no fixing this." Jessie stated. "But I mean... we do have a daughter to raise."

Rafe looked beyond his wife to think of a solution. He couldn't find one.

"Jessie, you don't trust me... and I don't trust you. And like you said... all we do is tear each other apart. We know each other too well."

"Yeah... but our daughter trusts us. And I swore the second I found out I was pregnant that she would not be the child of drugged out father and a helpless mother... so until you can get this figured out... I'm taking Charley."

As if the conversation couldn't get any more earth shattering, Rafe realized that he was now losing his daughter too. His eyes grew wide and panic clearly set in.

"Woah woah woah woah... you're not gonna keep my daughter from me."

"Yes I am Rafe..." Jessie implored calmly as she walked over to their bedroom. Rafe followed her. "And it starts tonight... I'm going back to my old apartment." Jessie finished as she began to pack a small backpack.

"Wait wait wait, Jessie." Rafe pleaded now with wide eyes as he realized this conversation took a totally different turn that he wasn't prepared for.

"I didn't think you actually meant leaving me, I mean I though this was just another-"

"What the hell else am I supposed to do, Rafe? It's the only way you seem to get your shit together... but I'm not coming back... we're done."

"Jessie..." Rafe begged with tears in his eyes as he got closer. He knew she didn't throw out ultimatums unless she meant them. She meant it this time. He knew when she was done. He wanted to touch her so bad, at least find some way to bring her back to him, but he knew he couldn't.

"Rafe, you act like taking my child from you is easy! You don't think it's killing me? The thought of having to explain to her why she can't see you every morning? Why her mom and dad aren't sleeping in the same bed or living in the same house? I know the questions are gonna come... and I'm gonna have to answer them... for the rest of her life! This was exactly why I left in the first place! And now I'm forced to do the very thing I was terrified of... sharing our daughter."

"Jessie..." Rafe cried, trying anything to get her to stay and work this out.

"Rafe..." Jessie interrupted, now with just as many tears. "It's over." Her voice cracked.

As much as he didn't want to, Rafe understood. He swallowed the lump in his throat, now looking at Jessie with not a thought behind his eyes except for his own guilt and reconciliation. He choked on his next words, unsure of what to say to get her back.

"Look, Jessie, if it's not you it's not anyone... I tried for years to fill that void and I'm never going to find anyone else..."

Jessie laughed at the very idea. Rafe clearly was frantic and pulling at straws to figure out any other reason to convince her to stay.

"Rafe..." she rolled her eyes with a hopeless smile. "I'm not gonna be with someone else either... To be with anyone else is a crime... and just not fair to whatever pour innocent soul that could be. We're the only ones perfectly wrong for each other." She whispered as she looked dead on at the man she loved most.

The both of them knew that to be true, both equally as damned to ruin the next person if they ever came along. They reserved that right only for each other.

Jessie began to walk towards the front door, bag in hand to go downstairs and pick up Charley, and probably any other pogues that want to go with her. She couldn't bring herself to walk out without first turning around to look at her husband.

"Rafe."

No words were said, yet Jessie could tell he was hanging on every word. He stood just mere feet from her in the doorway with his hands on his hips trying to keep it together.

"I love you. Never forget that."

To hell with keeping it together, at that point all Rafe could do was look away and pinch his features together in an attempt to not let the waterworks fly. His lip quivered. He sniffled and took a deep breath, looking back at his wife.

"I love you too. And don't you forget this, Jessie Cameron..." He replied with a point of his shaky finger through tears. Jessie inclined her ear, imploring him to go on through tears of her own.

"If you ever need me... I'll come running."

It was in that moment, as the two star crossed lovers locked eyes with so much love yet so much hatred that this was the way it had to be, that they realized that maybe the only reason for their romance was for Jessie to make Rafe a little more wild... and for Rafe to make Jessie a little more cautious. If that was the case, they had served their purpose.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Epilogue

Jessie heard the knock of her apartment door, signaling that people were there— right on time. She threw the kitchen towel down that she was using to clean up the mess from the cake her and mama just decorated.

"Want me to get it sweetie?" Tom asked from the couch, not bothering to look up from his sports on the TV.

"That's okay, pops. I got it! Charleyyyy!" Jessie rang up the narrow stairs of her oh so familiar apartment. "You need to get down here, there's some people here to see you!"

Mama smiled as she watched the young woman practically dance over to the door. Jessie knew exactly who was behind that door. She opened it with the biggest smile on her face knowing exactly who she was going to get to see.

"Hellooooo!" JJ beamed. He was accompanied by other greetings and murmurings from the Pogues and Wheezie behind him, all of them had brightly colored presents in their hands as they entered into the apartment with excitement. Jessie couldn't hug her brother fast enough.

"Ugh! JJ! It's been too long!" Jessie exclaimed as she brought her brother in for a warm embrace, doing the same to the others.

"Four months and twelve days... but who's counting right?" JJ replied with a laugh.

"Charley still has no idea we're here right?" Sarah asked. They all were clearly anxious to see the little girl.

"That's right! She knows all her friends are coming for the birthday party... just not you guys. Oh, she's coming!" Jessie said, frantically moving out of the way to reveal the brand new four year old with a birthday crown already on her head and a sash already around her pretty new dress. She looked around the living room in confusion, but the second she laid eyes on the entryway she gasped.

"UNCLE JJAYYYYY!!!" Charley screamed as she ran up to the blonde haired boy. Like so many times before, JJ reached down to scoop up the little girl.

"Ohhhh my gosh Char Char! You've already grown so much since New Years! Gotta stop that now!" JJ insisted as he poked at the little lady in his arms.

"Someone's not a little girl anymore." Sarah said through happy tears as she looked over at her sister in law, embracing her with a hug. Jessie nodded in unfortunate understanding of the same reality.

"I know it." She responded with a tinge of sadness. Time truly was a thief. "And look at you, little lady!" Jessie said, now turning her attention to the teenager in front of her. "You have got stop growing! What's next? A boyfriend?!" Jessie joked as she held Wheezie's face in her hands like only a mother could. She couldn't help but feel like if she blinked her eyes Charley would be that old too. She distracted herself by averting her attention to the Pogues.

"Everyone else should be here shortly." Jessie said.

"Who all's coming?" Kiara asked, knowing exactly what answer her and the rest of the Pogues were looking for. Jessie read between the lines.

"Uh, some friends from school, some of the MM... and Rafe."

The room went quiet. The Pogues looked concerned, but Mama and Tom seemed to show a chip on their shoulder at the very mention of the man's name. The truth is, they had been taking the brunt of Jessie's whims the last four months, trying their best to get her back on her feet after such a messy split. Nothing was official yet, but they could see how tired Jessie was from trying to balance work and strained family dynamics across the board. Trying to help the Pogues in the Bahamas and raise her daughter with an unstable father was more difficult than she originally imagined. Yet she chose to still keep in touch and make things work the best she could. She figured Rafe deserved that. No matter what, he had a daughter that he now knew about and was undoubtedly attached to. The Pogues could see that too, and they had their own worry for the twenty-two year old. Yet, they found themselves more conflicted than Maci and Tom, mostly from the fact that they saw Rafe's side of things too. Regardless, today was not the day to pick a side and wage a war.

"Stop looking like that." Jessie sighed with a plea behind her eyes.

"Like what?" JJ asked stupidly, as if he didn't know exactly the look she was referring to.

"The look of guilt... the worry. I can't take one more look of sympathy." Jessie replied with slight annoyance. The Pogues felt their own sort of guilt from this mess... JJ still couldn't live with the fact that he had called Jessie to come get him out of trouble in the first place... if hadn't have done that... she wouldn't be in this situation. Yet Jessie still made it clear that it wasn't his fault time and time again.

JJ pursed his lips and looked down, trying his hardest to understand where Jessie was coming from. He was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of another knock on the door.

"That should be Sam and Treasure."

"Treasurrrrrre!" Charley squealed as she kicked her feet, begging for her uncle to let her down.

"Thats one of her friends." Jessie explained. "Char char, go ahead and let her in!"

Once her feet hit the ground again she ran to the door, frantically opening it. Jessie figured this was the perfect time to step aside with the Pogues and have a moment.

"Look guys... I know everything is still fresh... but today is Charley's birthday. Today is not a day to pick sides or start anything, alright?"

The Pogues could tell Jessie was serious, she almost came off as threatening. They nodded in understanding.

"I'm serious." Jessie reiterated, still not convinced they understood what this day meant.

Jessie and Rafe, although communication was minimal and strictly for Charley, managed to come to an agreement about days like this. Rafe was allowed to come over, but no conversation outside of what was necessary. It was harsh, but it was crucial to making sure that this day didn't turn into passive aggressive manipulation that both of them were so good at wielding. Jessie didn't even like being in the same room as Rafe right now... as she felt that he could attack her with just his smile and those longing eyes... no words needed. But she decided that for today, he had a right to celebrate his daughter.

Slowly but surely more people started to trickle in, resulting in a house full of friends and family that Jessie loved to mingle with. The sounds of kids running around, all the adults laughing, and music blaring was still not enough to fill the hole Jessie knew was there. It was blatantly obvious in her mind only that Charley's father still wasn't there. She wondered why. He said he was coming.

What Jessie didn't know is that Rafe thought he was coming to, yet he had been a bundle of nerves all day. He got no sleep the night before. He wondered if he was strong enough to celebrate something and someone so special to him with the girl he loved the most and act like she was only the mother of his child. How was he supposed to casually share his daughter when her mother was so incessant on hardly any contact? He played every possible scenario of how this day could go in his head over and over, which caused him to stop right as he touched the exit door of his penthouse, to take another lap around the block of Jessie's apartment building, and for him to stop dead in his tracks with his hand held up almost ready to knock on her door. He stopped every single time, contemplating if he was really ready for this. He had only seen Jessie these last few months in the small time it took to drop Charley off for little visits. Yet even in those short moments, he knew his Jessie inside and out. No amount of time could change that. She was keeping it short and sweet for the same reasons as he was... fear of falling. Still, he shook his head and whispered to himself to get it together, his next move being a swift knock to her front door before he could stop himself with his thoughts once more.

Jessie finally heard the only knock that mattered, knowing it could only be the one person that was left that still hadn't shown up. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard it, and she leaped through the crowd to get the door before anyone else had a chance. She opened the door to reveal none other than Rafe Cameron. She took a deep breath, one that Rafe could see due to her extended rib cage and look of concentration. He pursed his lips but quickly remembered that he needed to smile, so he did.

"Hi." Rafe whispered numbly as he flashed his pearly whites.

"Hi." Jessie exhaled with a fake smile plastered on her face as well.

The two stood there, for as long as their hearts would allow them. Even after months of little to no contact, their eyes still said everything they wouldn't allow themselves to say for the sake of accepting reality and keeping the peace. And as Jessie looked deep into those ocean eyes standing in her doorway, that was all the confirmation she needed to know exactly where to go from here.

clingy

words: 1k

warnings: 18+ only! smut ahead, unprotected sex, p in v sex, public-ish sex, use of daddy

taglist: @user3729107491

“where are you going rafey?” you pout, grabbing onto his hand as he gets up from the couch you were chilling on.

“shh, it’s okay baby.” rafe laughs gently as you stand up to follow him. “i’m just going to the bathroom.”

“can i come with you?” you ask, giving him your best puppy dog eyes. you really don’t want to be alone at this party.

“of course, honey.” rafe wraps his arm around your shoulders, leading you through the crowd. “can’t be away from me for even a minute?”

“nope.” you shake your head no. “need you always.”

rafe opens the door to the bathroom, checking there’s no one doing lines or fucking in the bathtub before leading you in. “i know, baby, i need you always too.” he picks you up so you can sit on the sink counter, giving you a deep kiss.

you pull your knees up to your chest, leaning your head against the mirror as rafe pees, not shy in the slightest with you watching him, used to having you near at all times.

“it doesn’t bother you?” you ask rafe as he zips his pants back up.

“what doesn’t bother me?” rafe asks as you scooch over so he can wash his hands without getting any droplets of water on your dress.

“that i’m so clingy.” you pout.

rafe lets out a laugh. “clingy? baby, if anything i want you around me more. you will never be too clingy.” rafe dries his hands before grabbing your waist, pulling you to the edge and giving the tip of your nose a kiss.

“you sure?” you ask, wrapping your legs around his hips.

“of course i’m sure. i love you, pumpkin.” 

“i love you too, daddy.” you whisper, leaning forward and burying your head in his neck, feeling shy. “i want you.”

“of course you do.” rafe’s hands glide down your back to your ass. “you always want me, huh? always need your rafey?” “mhm.” you lower your hands to his pants, rubbing over his cock.

“we’ll have to be quick.” rafe says, “and quiet.”

“do we reaaally?” you giggle, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, pulling his cock out.

“yes, silly baby.” rafe rolls his eyes. “we are at a party.”

“everyone hooks up at parties!” you exclaim, fisting your hand around his cock and jerking it, wanting him to get hard quickly so you can feel him inside of you.

“don’t use that tone with me.” rafe warns, pushing your already high cut dress up, looking down to see you don’t have underwear on. you let go of his cock, knowing you’ll need to hold on the counter to brace yourself for whats coming next.

“my little slut.” rafe shakes his head. “did you know this would happen?” he presses a finger against your entrance, “did you plan this when you asked to come to the bathroom with me?” he shoves it inside, immediately pulling out and pushing in again, starting to thrust.

“i didn’t plan it,” you gasp out and squeeze your eyes shut as rafe quirks his finger to press against your sweet spot, “i wanted it though.”

rafe chuckles, adding another finger in, needing to open you up quickly and get his cock inside of you. rafe rubs his thumb over your clit, giving you a kiss to silent your moans.

“fuck me, daddy.” you pull away from the kiss, grabbing his cock and lining it up with your entrance.

“i don’t have a condom.” rafe says, looking around the bathroom like he could find one in here.

“i wouldn’t want you to use it anyways.” you say, “need your cum in me.”

“yeah?” rafe laughs, grabbing your ass and sliding you to the edge of the counter, pushing his cock inside of you.

you let out a quiet moan, a shiver moving through your body. rafe begins to thrust his hips forward, keeping you from falling backwards with his hands gripping your ass.

“feels so good.” you whine, gripping the counter with one hand and wrapping your free arm around rafe’s shoulders.

“this close enough for you now?” rafe asks with a laugh.

you nod, nuzzling your nose into his neck. you’ve been craving rafe all day and this really is exactly what you needed. 

rafe moves quicker than normal, chasing your lips to kiss you. there’s a sudden knock on the door, making you jump and clench your cunt around rafe, but he forces his movements anyways.

“occupied!” rafe shouts back.

“are you fucking in there?” the man shouts back, but you can hear his footsteps move down the hall.

“told you to be quiet.” rafe says, angling his hips so he hits the spot inside of you that has your eyes rolling back in your head.

“can’t help it that you’re so big, daddy.” you say, unbuttoning a few of the buttons of his shirt, grabbing his collar and pulling him into a heavy kiss. 

“don’t wrinkle the shirt.” rafe says quickly, but then rejoins the kiss. 

you roll your eyes, but rafe doesn’t miss it, giving you a particularly hard thrust and then grinding his hips, making you wince as the pleasure is almost overwhelming.

“rub your pretty pussy for me.” rafe says, and you quickly drop a hand to your clit, using two fingers to rub in time with rafes thrusts.

“you’re going to cum for me.” rafe demands, knowing he can’t last much longer himself.

“yes, daddy.” you nod, rubbing faster, feeling rafes cock pulse inside of you.

rafe presses your lips together to cover your moans somewhat as your orgasm overtakes your body. feeling your cunt pulse around him, rafe spills inside of you.

“fuck, you feel so fucking good.” rafe says, giving you a couple final thrusts as he your cunt milks him.

“i love you.” you coo, a tear escaping your eye as you feel yourself shake, knowing rafe needs a couple finishing thrusts, but you’re so overly sensitive from your orgasm.

“i love you too.” rafe kisses you. “so good for me honey.” he pulls out slowly, letting his cum spill out onto the counter. you cringe at knowing this is someone elses sink, so as rafe fixes his clothing, you hop off the counter and clean it up quickly.

“now you’re leaking out of me and i don’t have panties.” you pout.

rafe chuckles, knowing that this is exactly what you wanted. “i guess we will just have to go home then.”

convalescence — pt. 6 — you are my home: vol. two

↳PAIRING: frat!rafe cameron x fem!!reader

↳SUMMARY: after getting rafe home, you experience both sadness + bliss simultaneously.

↳WARNINGS: [5.0k] 18+, mature themes, THIS CHAPTER HAS SMUT AT THE END; creampie, riding - cowgirl style, mentions of the word good girl, emotional sex, electric love making, medical lingo, violence, hurt/comfort, mentions of an accident, major trauma and injuries, scared reader, angst, comfort, soft!rafe, anxiety, ptsd, heartbreak, childhood best friends to lovers, mentions of surgery, comforting rafe, mentions of nostalgia, court proceedings, mentions of sexual assault, eventual smut, etc.

↳A/N: this is a repost from my old blog @tee-swizzle. all of my works are being reposted to this one + the previous blog has been deactivated. moodboard by: @wildflwrdarlin

The ride to your apartment is mostly silent save for Rafe’s grunts and grimace’s each time Ward does his best to avoid the potholes in the asphalt, but fails miserably. Rafe can feel the grinding of the asphalt against the wheels of the car in between his ears, despite the pain medication you talked him into taking in an effort to make the short drive more tolerable. You look at him in the mirror from where you sit in the backseat and notice that he looks rather green and Ward’s guilt stricken eyes meet yours in the same reflection as he hits another and a burst of anger rumbles from the pits of his belly. 

“I’m so sorry, bud. I swear to God the governor is going to hear about this. This is ridiculous!”

Rafe’s pained giggle both warms you and cuts you into pieces simultaneously. 

“You hear that, sweet girl? He's gonna call the governor of the state because we were inconvenienced.” 

He mocked his father, laughing. You smiled at his antics. 

“It’s rather silly, isn’t it?” 

You chimed in, meeting wards eyes again in the mirror, throwing a wink his way. He smiled warmly in response. Knowing your wink meant “he’s laughing, let him have this” — and so he did. You’d missed the sweet symphony of his laugh. Your entire body’s new accustomed tensed nature seemed to deflate at the sound. Ward took notice of it, smiling to himself at the realization that it was a super power only his sweet son seemed to possess. Long gone were Rafe's days of sadness and addiction at the wake of his mother’s death. Instead, his psyche had healed and he’d become the man that he always hoped he would; a man you deserved. He gripped Rafe’s thigh in an effort to brace him as the car in front of them came to a dead stop, slamming on its breaks. Ward’s attempts were futile, Rafe’s yelp the most disturbing sound he’d ever heard. 

“I know, buddy. I’m so sorry.” 

His apology was deeply embedded in his irises, as if it was his fault the moron in front of you didn’t know how to drive. 

“It’s okay, Ward. Let’s just get him home as fast and as safely as possible.” 

The emphasis in your words gutted him, but he knew you were right – that Rafe needed to be at home in the safety of your arms and your satin sheets. He watched as your hands wrapped around the seat in front of you, delicate fingers gracing the sun kissed skin of your boy. He melted under your grazing, fingertips sending a chill across his broken spine. 

“Just wait til’ I can get you home, pretty girl. Swear i’m gonna do ya s’right.” 

He said, seemingly not caring that his father was in front of you. Ward stifled back a laugh, assuming it had to be the numerous medications running through his veins. That’s the only thing that explains a statement so brazen. 

“Is that right? I think it’s the other way around, Cameron. I think I’m the one that’s got something special waiting just for you.” 

You said and Rafe’s sloppy, drunk, hazy smile did you in. You winked at Ward as his eyes met yours in the rearview mirror. He didn’t even know what it was that you had in store for Rafe, but he knew you had asked him to stay in a hotel for the night and he knew that you were an angel and you were going to take care of his boy like you always did. 

—

Actually getting Rafe into the apartment was harder than you had anticipated. He clung to you with a vice grip as he listened to your voice instructing him, his usual habit of watching his feet when he walks unable to be performed. It made you want to scream and cry right there when you watched him try to jerk his eyes downward. You didn’t understand how his hope hadn’t been viscerated yet but then you remembered he was Rafe – he was your Rafe – and he was always going to have even a tiny sliver of hope. You’d make sure of that. 

“Just listen to my voice, baby. Don’t try to look down, you’re gonna hurt your neck.” 

You instructed. 

“M’kay.”

He mumbled, as you continued to guide him through the foyer of your apartment. Ward stood closely behind, making sure you knew he was ready to lend a hand if you’d need it. His hands hovered around the two of you from behind like he had a supersonic beam protecting you from afar, molding you where you were in a bubble of safety. Ward had always been protective of the two of you. You did him in with your bright eyes and bouncing curls tied back into a bow the day his seven year old son came home holding your hand in his. He tells people he knew at that moment that he’d always protect you, but he knows that isn’t true. He knows that in that moment Rafe knew. But, he’s not sure which moment in which he knew that you were his new daughter, there’s far too many to name. Not many people meet their soulmate when they’re in the second grade, but he was so glad that you did. As you hone in on the couch, the promise of finally sitting makes Rafe ecstatic. He’s smiling despite the pain that’s written on his face when you pivot him and his back meets a very large pile of fluffy pillows. He’d always secretly cursed your ability to buy a new pillow for each holiday, but today he’s thankful as he relishes in the comfort of your decor addiction. You move back, Rafe’s hand still gripping your wrists, not yet wanting to let go. You marvel at the thought that he could be this hurt and still want nothing but your touch. 

“I need you to let me go so I can fix the pillows, sweet boy.” 

He grumbles at the mere notion of not touching you, which is extremely Rafe-centric and you seem to empathize with his antics instead of eliciting your normal giggle. 

“Do you have to?” 

He asks, bottom lip coming above his top one in his best attempt at a puppy pout. You’re sure he’ll start whimpering if you don’t give in to the dramatics now. Instead, you do what he usually does best – talk some sense into him. 

“I’m right here, baby. It would just make me feel less anxious if I know you’re comfortable and taken care of. Can you let me do that, please?” 

You lean down into his field of vision, his hands still gripping your wrists. He wonders how he could be so stupid, not to know how scared you still are. He can see it in your eyes as they scan his form, as they wonder if he’s real, if he’s still in front of you. Rafe’s never believed it when people say the eyes are the window to the soul, but he does now as he’s looking into yours and they look – sad. So, he puts his pout away and gives you his best smile. Sure, later, when things are less hectic and heavy, he will get you to talk to him about what happened to you. Because while he’s physically hurting, he knows the walls you’ve built up over the years will try to convince him that you’re mentally okay, that you’re not feeling an extension of his pain in your own body. But, he knows it's a lie – that’s the beauty of meeting your soulmate when you’re seven. 

“Okay, baby.” 

He replies, trying to nod again. Which, he knows the doctor told him is a no-no, but he can’t seem to help the way his body naturally responds to these situations, especially ones that you’re in with him. He can’t seem to break the habits or the sovereignty that these moments with you have over his life and he begins to wonder what would’ve happened had he not gotten another one. He watches you out of the corner of his eyes, his new favorite feat – because nothing can keep Rafe Cameron’s eyes off of you, not even the likes of a broken neck. Still, he watches as close as he can as your tan skin moves in sync with your hands, adjusting the pillows behind his head and back just the way the nurses had taught you. You took one pillow in particular and rolled it up before you put it behind his head in between his neck and the back side of his halo. They had instructed you that it would make him feel less like his head was floating, less like it was separated from his body. Naturally, anything that would provide him more comfort had become your forte, so you took their instructions and all they taught you very seriously, going as far as writing every meticulous instruction and detail in a notebook that you now kept on your person at all times. 

“How’s that?” 

You ask, your bright eyes searching his for any sign of discomfort. You let out a breath of relief as he presents you with a crooked, boyish smile. 

“It’s good, pretty girl. Can you come here already?” 

He asks and you grin cheekily, straddling his lap and plopping down gently. It feels good to touch him again and you marvel in it as you become hip to hip with the man you love. Your hands wrap around his biceps, who’ve not yet lost their muscle tone though you know it's coming. His brace doesn’t let you lay your head against the crook of his neck in the way you so desperately want to, so you settle with staring into his blue eyes. That is until someone clears their throat in awkward tension – that someone being Ward. 

“Oh, god! I’m sorry, Ward. I wasn’t thinking about you being here.” 

He starts laughing in response to your panicked tone as you quickly climb off of his son’s lap and scurry in front of him. You’re not sure why you’re stuttering over your own words or why you’re laced with fear at the notion that you did something you shouldn’t have in front of him. 

“I-I’m sorry.” 

You pleaded with him, wanting him to know that you were indeed sorry but his laughter catches you off guard and Rafe can hear you flick your gaze down to the floor like a puppy being scolded. He’d done his best to rid you of these habits that your father infiltrated your brain with, but some days were better than others and this wasn’t one of those days. 

“Dad.” 

Rafe growled, his tone warning and Ward’s eyes flicked to you, suddenly taking in the sight of your embarrassed, apologetic form. He crosses the wood flooring of your apartment quickly, his hands wrapping around your biceps. 

“Sweetheart – you’re fine. You are allowed to touch someone you’re about to marry no matter who’s watching, even if it’s my son. Okay? I’m giggling because you guys really had no idea I was here. You were so lost in each other. That’s a beautiful thing. I’m not upset. I promise.” 

You lifted your head as his sweet words, the tears you were about to let fall no longer clouding your vision. 

“Do you mean it?” 

You question. 

“Of course I do!” 

He giggles and it brings a smile back to your sweet face. 

“Now, I’m gonna leave for the night and let you two celebrate your engagement, okay? Just go easy on him. He’s going to be pouty once he realizes how much he can’t do in the next few days.” 

You nodded vigorously, throwing a wink his way and watching as he made his way into Rafe’s field of vision again, kneeling before him. 

“You take good care of our girl, m’kay buddy? I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

He moves to get back into a full standing position but Rafe grabs his father’s wrist before he has the chance, catching him by surprise. 

“I love you, Dad.” 

He speaks into the air between them and Ward smiles, crouching down in front of him. 

“I love you more.” 

He says, placing a kiss to his son’s hand that was now resting in his own. He pats Rafe’s knee for good measure before standing and exiting your apartment. 

—

A short while after Ward left, you’d convinced him to let you change him into more comfortable clothes,which really wasn’t true. You just wanted him in clothes that felt and smelled like him, not ones that wreaked of antiseptic and the heaviness that had been over you since you saw him fall from the balcony. He knew you very well, so he obliged, his own skin feeling sticky and overstimulated from the hospital smell that lingered against him. He settled on letting you leave him shirtless and changing him into Nike socks and gray sweatpants. It was only after that that he convinced you to lay with him on the couch. Which is exactly where you’d found yourself waking from a nap close to four hours later. You were warm, that’s the first thought you had as you came back to consciousness, warm and safe. Which could only mean one thing – Rafe must be near. He was indeed near, your cheeks squished against his belly button as your body laid in between his long legs. You blinked your eyes open and your ears were assaulted by his soft snores. It made you smile. You laid there for a while, just listening to his even breaths, something you’d always been thankful for. But, now the overwhelming feeling of joy that laced through your veins at the mere sound of it left you dizzy. You’d never imagine fear would grip you as greatly as it had as you waited to hear about his status after his accident. You just knew you never wanted to feel that way ever again. Which prompted you not to move a muscle – simply basking in his afterglow, now that he’d danced with death and made it on the other side. His afterglow was yellow; daffodils and sunshine and so notably him. As you laid there with him, you couldn’t help but feel like you’d never seen color or him for that matter, until now. Maybe you hadn’t. 

After about thirty minutes of you admiring how beautiful he was as he lay there sleeping, Rafe stirred. You watched in ill stricken horror as he opened his eyes and his chest started heaving, forgetting in sleepy stupor what had happened to him. This was his new morning ritual, at least it had been for the last two weeks. The fear that laced his blue orbs was something that haunted you every time he looked this way. Because Rafe Cameron was a lot of things – but he’d never been scared before, not like he was in these fragments of time. You contemplated letting him come to reality on his own until his breathing became more frantic. That’s when you squeezed him tightly around his middle, careful not to jostle his injuries in any way. You felt the plaster of the cast on his wrist wrap around you as it caught the fabric of your t-shirt, lifting it slightly causing the hardened, once wet material to scrap your tummy. 

“Hey – you okay?”

You questioned, concern hidden in the octaves of your voice as you clung to your sweet boy like a sloth to a tree branch. 

“Yeah, I’m alright, baby. It’s weird, you know? It’s like sleeping makes me forget and then I wake up and I-I’m scared.” 

You roll over onto your tummy at the vulnerability he’s showing you. This is his first attempt at talking about his accident and the way it’s making him feel and you refuse to do anything else except listen intently and offer him your unconditional support. You moved your arms, crossing them underneath your chin on top of his belly as you peered up at him, intently listening. 

“What’s scaring you the most, baby?” 

You ask timidly, unsure if you really want to know the answer, still afraid that part of him blames you for – all of it. He must be able to read your thoughts because he squeezes you a little tighter and it makes your eyes wet. 

“Everytime I wake up, I c-can’t remember where you are o-or what happened. I can’t remember if I got to you before he hurt you a-and it’s so terrifying. I mean what am I supposed to do if there’s no you?” 

He replies, voice wavering as he starts to cry. You don’t think, you can’t think – you act; body lifting to straddle his lap and look him in the eyes. 

“Hey.” 

You speak softly, arms moving through the bars caging his head in to cup his cheeks. 

“I’m okay.” 

You speak again, smiling softly. His tears run streaks down his now flushed cheeks and his bottom lip wobbles. You haven’t seen him this innocent in years and flashes of the little boy you fell in love with are ever present in your brain. It makes your chest ache. 

“But, you almost weren’t and I-I can’t get his hands being on you out of my head, y/n. I’d die if anything happened to you. You know t-that right? I-I’d die.” 

He says matter of factly in between blubbering cries. 

“Nothing is ever gonna happen to me. I’m okay because you protected me like you always do.” 

You speak, bringing his hand to your heart, placing his palm flat against your breast. 

“Feel that?” 

You question, your eyelashes fluttering as you peer up at him from where you sat. 

“I don’t think feeling you up right now is gonna help much, pretty girl.” 

You roll your eyes in response to him and scoff violently. 

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Cameron. Take a deep breath and tell me what you feel.” 

You tell him and watch as he follows your instructions. 

“It’s – your heart.” 

He smiles and it’s a different one, it’s that of an excited child. It melts you in all the same ways his usual smiles do. 

“Yeah, baby. I’m still here. It’s still beating. You don’t have to be scared anymore.” 

You say into the air between you, reaching your head into his cage and kissing him as deeply as the brace will allow. He returns it with a small moan. 

—

There’s a sizzle, the sound of oil bubbling – then the sound of meat meeting a cast iron skillet. It’s amazing in two short weeks the heightened senses your sweet boy has come accustomed to. Like the sounds of his favorite meal being made, it’s something he finds himself grateful for. Yet, he’s even more grateful as he hears your hum. He’s zoned in on Olivia Benson in all her glory as she plays on the screen of your living room tv when he hears your feet softly padding across the linoleum floors. It’s funny really that this is your show – one you enjoy together and yet, he’s stuck in one position unable to move to look at you. It makes him angry and overstimulates his senses. He’s known who the criminal is since minute five and he’s bored, because he only enjoys reruns when you’re beside him, hands in his hair. He can see you there when he closes his eyes just long enough, your sweet smile in his peripheral vision. it’s so vivid; the way he can see you as he hears the movements you make – the scraping of a fork in oil as you retrieve the meat from the pan, the way you grimace and scowl as it burns your fingers even though you know that it’s hot. He can see you as you suck on your finger nursing the sting out of it. He thanks God that he still closes his eyes and sees you even when you’re not in front of him. He thanks God he doesn’t have to rely on the memory because he never wants to forget you like that. He never wants to forget you at all. 

“You sleepin’ silly goose? After I slaved over this food – I can’t believe it.” 

You say as you stand over him in mock exasperation. He can feel your shadow now looming over him. He grins softly and peeks one open, closing it quickly before you can see him. 

“It’s okay, baby. You sleep all you want to.” 

You reply, seemingly to yourself as you crouch, placing your hands on his chiseled cheeks, gently rubbing your thumb back and forth. 

“Such a softie.” 

He mutters, a sly grin ever present as he opens his eyes and giggles. 

“Not fair!” 

You pout, pulling away as you place your hands on his knees to aid you in getting up. He quickly has his hands on your wrists, preventing you from going anywhere as he giggles. 

“You tricked me!” 

You continue pouting as he pulls you onto his lap and you straddle him. 

“Not my fault, you just make it too easy, pretty girl.” 

You roll your eyes, dropping your head to his shoulder. His embrace is warm and all you want to do is hold him forever. You raise your head to look in his eyes and in them sits something you’ve never seen before – anguish and longing – looking like they go hand in hand. 

“What is it?” 

You ask, trepidation on your lips. 

“Just feeling really lucky is all.” 

Liar – you think to yourself as you reach your hand in between his bars, tapping his cheek gently before getting up to grab his dinner. 

“Where are you going, beautiful girl?” 

He asked. 

“I have a very hungry fiance to feed.”

You reply and he chuckles to himself. 

—

What feels like hours but is only moments later, he’s back to relying on the noises of your actions. The first one he hears he quickly identifies as scraping metal; the kind only created between a knife meeting a plate. This and the smell of his favorite seasoning told him that you’d made him a steak and you were more than likely cutting it into pieces small enough for him to be able to swallow. He internally purred at the thought – you cooking his favorite meal and chopping it up so he could chew it. His bliss is quickly taken away as he continues to hear the scraping; nausea over taking him. He’s not sure if it’s the screws in his head or not, but the sound is making him hurt and he feels like he needs to lay down. He does need to lay down. 

“Dream girl.” 

The words are not a question, they are a plea as they come out of his mouth and you’re quickly running into the living room, looking down at him as he closes his eyes. 

“Are you sick, baby?” 

You question, stupidly, cursing yourself for even speaking. You close your mouth quickly, rapidly running into the office that is just adjacent to where you are and grab the trash can that’s beneath the desk. You hit your head as you try to move at lightning speed from underneath the mahogany to return to your boy. 

“Shit!”

He hears you screech and he almost smiles – almost. He’s far too worse for wear currently to try to move even a centimeter. 

“Rafe, baby – can you open your eyes?” 

You question lightly, moving to wrangle him to the edge of the sofa cushion so that he can lean forward and vomit into the trash can if he needs to. 

“M’okay.” 

He mutters after what seems like hours. 

“Vertigo.” 

He says. You can do nothing but nod your head and before you know it, tears are clouding your vision. You wanted to treat him like the king that he was, sure that his favorite meal and a movie would put a smile on his face. 

“Come here, baby.” 

He says as you help him sit back into the couch cushion again. You look at him, unsure if you’ll hurt him, but longing for his touch more than you ever have. He doesn't look at you directly because, well – he can’t. But, he feels the force of your wobbling lip as he pats his hands against his thighs. So, you do what he asks – you crawl onto his lap, straddling him, yet again as he looks into your eyes. 

“What’s the matter?” 

He questions you, his uncasted hand reaching up to feel the warmth of your now flushed cheeks. His touch – it’s enough and the damn breaks; every ounce of emotion your body is holding inside is released in the form of water. 

“I-I don’t know what to do to make it better.” 

You squeal, sobs over taking you. Rafe is so shell shocked that he’s speechless. You look like a frustrated toddler, he notes; wondering how long you’ve been holding this in – how long the guilt has been eating at you. 

“It’s my fault! I did this to you!” 

You exclaim through tears and his eyes soften even more as he’s looking at you – beautifully, breathtaking, you. 

“Baby, this is not your fault.” 

His eyes are pleading when he says it, because he needs you to believe it. But he knows that deep down you don’t. He knows that he has to hold you until your cries quiet down and he does. He gathers you in his strong arms, which is all you really ever want in time like these, and he whispers soothing words into your ear as he pets your hair. He wants so badly to kiss the top of your head – marking it as another thing the brace has taken from him.

“Hey – sweet girl. I love you, you know that don’t you?” 

He asks after a while and he feels you nod your head yes against his chest. But, that’s not enough, he needs to show you. 

“Look at me, baby.” 

He commands softly and you oblige; locking eyes with him. He can see that you are longing for his touch but want to cower away, that your mind and body are in a balancing act of conflicting emotions. 

“I’m sorry.” 

You whisper. 

“You don’t have to be, don’t need to be sorry, dream girl. You haven’t done anything wrong. Do I need to show you that?” 

He asks, tucking your hair behind your ears. You can’t find the words as you take your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“Words, please.” 

He says, though he knows that your body language is giving him a resounding – yes, please do that. 

“Yes.” 

It’s a whisper – but a whisper is all he needs. 

“I’m gonna need you to help me, okay sweet girl? Can you do what you're told, angel?” 

You nod your head vigorously in response. 

“I know you can, cause you’re a good girl aren’t you?” 

He asks with a bit more dominance, though his tone is the softest you’ve ever heard it in the decade that you’ve been his. 

“Y-yeah – you think so?” 

The question surprises him but your doe eyes don’t. In fact, he relishes in your need for him and his praise. 

“You’re a good girl – my sweet girl.” 

He coos and your eyes twinkle at the praises as they enter your ears and make contact with your brain. He can see the moment they do and he’s thankful that you still react to him this way after so many years, especially while he looks like this. 

“Lift up for me and take it out.” 

He instructs and you oblige, sitting back on his knees and pulling his pants down his thighs just enough that neither one of you will make a mess all over them in a few minutes time. 

“Rafe – are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” 

There’s not a sight more beautiful in the world he’s convinced as he looks at you; doe eyes looking to him for further instruction. 

“I’m sure, sweetheart. You’re not gonna hurt me. I’ll just need you to do the work this time, okay?” 

You nod into a sweet smile, leaning in and kissing him deeper than you ever have before. His lips taste like mint and cinnamon, like they always do and by the time you’re needing air, your chest is heaving. You’re not sure what it is; maybe the idea that he was almost taken from you forever, but your skin is itching. It feels more like you’ve been struck by lightning and every time he touches you it only seems to get worse. There’s no need for foreplay this time, the kiss – his fucking kiss – does you in and you’re wetter than you’ve ever been in your life. There’s no time for pleasantries, so you do what comes natural to you, you rip your own clothes off and sink down onto him. 

“Holy shit!”

He groans and squeals simultaneously. 

“You okay?”

You ask, breathless before you’ve even uttered a thrust against him. 

“I’m perfect!” 

He groans again as you adjust to him. 

“Good.”

You grunt out and begin moving up and down slowly, which soon turns into a pace that neither of you have ever tried before. He basks in the beauty of you bouncing in front of him and for a moment he’s thankful that he can’t see below your tits as they bounce vigorously up and down in front of him. 

“God – you’re so wet baby.” 

He mutters breathlessly as he grips your hips. You’re doing something interesting, the curve of your hips as you move – it’s like you’re writing in cursive and it’s enough to send him over the edge. It does send him over the edge and you follow closely behind at the squeal of his name. 

“Rafey – I love you.” 

You whisper, resting your head against his chest as you come down from the electricity of it all. 

“I love you more, dream girl.” 

He whispers back. Suddenly, it feels less heavy and you’re thankful that you seem to have him, you really have him. He’s in your arms, he’s real and you’re never letting him out of your sight again. 

“Don’t ever leave me.” 

You whisper, after what seems like forever laying there, just as he’s fallen asleep under you. Though you know he never would, not voluntarily at least. 

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THE SUN + THE SAND - PART ONE - ORIGINS

↳PAIRING: bff!rafe cameron x fem!reader

↳SUMMARY: you have a stalker, but your best friend rafe won't let anything happen to you, even if he has to come clean about how he really feels.

↳ [1k] WARNINGS: 18+, mature themes, smut, kidnapping, violence, hurt/comfort, bestie!rafe (he's a very sexy warning), soft + awkward rafe, rude + protective rafe, best friends to lovers, reader is a little naive, DARK!JJ, John B (he's kind of a fuckboy), sexual assault, intense sexual themes, drunkenness, angst, mentions of domestic violence, insecurity, violence, mentions of near-death accident, hospitalization, serious injury, etc.

↳A/N: this is a repost from my old blog @tee-swizzle. all of my works are being reposted to this one + the previous blog has been deactivated.♡

Rafe sat in the cab of his midnight blue ford, he felt the engine rumble through the leather of the seat he sat in. His fingers tapped in annoyance against the steering wheel as he waited for you. Your phone call was nothing short of the usual as you begged him sweetly to come scoop you up from your latest sexual escapade – John B Routledge. The first time, he had thought it was a fling, with you, it always was. He knew deep down, once you had your fair share of what a pogue could offer you; nothing, you’d settle down with Topper and spend your days the way you were meant to. He held out hope that this was a phase and nothing more. But, the more times you had asked him to pick you from the cut in the middle of the night, the more worried he got. The more times he did this with you, the more worried he was that you were falling in love. The thought destroyed him; he couldn’t blame John B, really; you were the most beautiful thing the island had ever seen with a personality to match. You spent your time chasing baby turtles through the sand for crying out loud and as much as he loved you, he knew that if he didn’t deserve the goodness of your heart, neither did John B. Rafe was brought out of his thoughts as his passenger door swung open and your ruby red lips were the first thing he took in as they wrapped themselves around a solo cup. 

“You cause enough trouble, today?” 

He said, giggling as he took you in, the glimmer of your eyes sending shivers down his spine, as it always had. You climbed into the truck with a giggle as you placed your back against the warmth of the heated leather. He knew you’d be cold as the October wind brushed against your tan legs. 

“Enough for the both of us.” 

You replied, giving him the bright smile he was so desperate to see all day. He grabbed your hand, pulling the cup from your hands, sniffing it and grimacing. 

“What the fuck are you drinking?” 

He asked incredulously. 

“I don’t know, one of John’s friend’s made it for me. It tastes like jungle juice.” 

You replied, giggling. 

“What did I tell you about taking drinks from strangers, huh?” 

 He growled. 

“Okay, grump pants. I thought I was fine. John was there. I was handling it.” 

You replied, shrugging your shoulders. 

“How many times do I have to tell you that John B doesn’t have your best interest at heart, sweetheart? You don’t know him well enough to be drinking around him. Not every guy will be as good to you as me, Topper, and Kelce.”

You rolled your eyes as Rafe finished his sentence and he threw the drink out the window, watching as the recycled plastic rolled against the grass. 

“Rafe! I’m thirsty, dammit!” 

He threw the truck in reverse, one hand on the back of your seat. You admired him, as you always did; the yellow t-shirt that hugged his muscles and the backwards cap that sat against his perfectly sculpted face. Rafe was something out of a magazine and you were no stranger to that, but he was also your best friend and it would have to stay that way. 

“I know you are.” 

He replied simply. You continued to watch him as he drove, the muscles of his forearm contracting every time he moved his arms. By the time he pulled into the gas station, you realized you were in a trance, a common occurrence when you were in his presence. There was a reason you called him instead of your other two stooges late at night. Maybe he knew or maybe he didn’t. Rafe stepped down from the truck, moving toward the gas pump and inserting his debit card before inserting the pump into his truck and waiting until it stopped. He made his way around the car only moments later and opened your door. 

“What are you doing?” 

You questioned him with furrowed eyebrows as he grabbed your hand and eased you down from the height of his truck. 

“I’m buying my favorite girl a slushie, what are you doing?” 

He replied, playfully and you smiled as you walked beside him. Once you finished the journey across the parking lot, Rafe stepped ahead of you and you wanted to punch him for it at first. That is, until he held the door open and you walked through the door of the gas station. He was kind with you and you never tell anyone the version of him that you go to see. You’d never tell anyone that the big, bad, Rafe Cameron had a heart of gold. You’d never tell anyone he was a big ol’ teddy bear deep down. You followed him to the slushie machine, where he lifted the knob, pouring the red liquid into your cup and the blue into his. You thought the color variations were interesting and a tell of how different the two of you really were – fire and ice, warmth and hostility, all wrapped in one blanket to mend together two people who couldn’t live without the other. 

The two of you exited the store together, retreating back to his truck before you spoke again. He handed you his iced beverage, the polar bear on the outside of it reminding of your childhood. Rafe knew this and he knew that’s why you loved slushies, yet it perplexed him why you only shared them with him. He placed the keys in the ignition, turning them over as the engine roared to life. You compared a lot of things to Rafe, almost every boy, every scenario, every situation. Yet, none of those things made you feel as alive as five minutes alone with him. You wondered if he knew. You wondered if he was capable of understanding that he held the key to the diary of you. You handed him his slushie and he gave you a smile as he watched you put your seatbelt on, knowing he had no intentions of going anywhere any time soon. 

“What are you smiling at?” 

You questioned him, returning the sentiment. 

“Just how crazy you are.” 

He replied, chuckling and watched as your eyes lit up as you sucked the cold bits of your beverage through the straw. 

“You always rescue me from my crazy antics, though, so I'd say it's worth it.” 

You said, struggling your shoulders and continuing to slurp down the cold goodness. 

“Who was there tonight?” 

He questioned, his tone turning serious, though doing his best to keep it light enough to avoid your suspicious gaze. 

“Me and John b and some of the other pogues.” 

You replied. 

“What other pogues?” 

He asked with more edge in his voice. 

“Uh, I don't know. That JJ kid I think and pope.”

You answered him, wondering why he had that scared look in his eye. 

“Who made you the drink?” 

He questioned. 

“Why, Rafe? Why does it matter?” 

He rolled his eyes at your question. You couldn’t be this naive, he thought. You couldn’t be this careless. 

“Because it just does! How the hell am I supposed to protect you if I don’t know who you’re hanging around when you call me at three in the morning?” 

He grunted out, throwing his head back in exasperation. 

“Oh, uhm. JJ. He made the drink. Listen —, I’m uh, I’m sorry for calling a lot. I won’t call anymore, I didn’t mean to make you upset.” 

You swallowed thickly after the words spilled out of your mouth in a sense of urgency. You only called because you wanted to see him and you knew he’d come. But, you didn’t think about how selfish that was until right now. You fiddled with the hem of your shirt. 

“Sweetheart, no. I always want you to call. I just — I need to know you’re safe and JJ Maybank is not safe, okay?” 

You nodded in response. 

“What do you mean he isn’t safe, Rafe?” 

You never questioned Rafe; not when it came to things of importance. But, you felt the need to now and you weren’t sure why. 

“He has a reputation with girls, okay? All you need to know is that he’s not safe and I’m not gonna tell you not to spend time with John B, I know you wouldn’t listen. So, from now on, I don’t care what’s going on, if you’re uncomfortable, you fucking call me, yeah?” 

His tone was laced with venom. 

“Yeah” 

You responded, swallowing thickly before laying your head on his shoulder. You knew no matter what that Rafe would always take care of you and you’d do the same for him. 

taglist: (just copy + pasted my regular tags! if you'd like to be added or removed, please let me know!)

@promiscuousbarnes @cecesrings @slut4starkey @banksreigns @itsalexwin @scenesofobx @mannstarkey @mistyheart @clarkie-carmody-blog @starrystarkey93 @kkmstblog @wildflwrdarlin @fangirlwithlou @glutenfreepeach @rafesmoon @hydrngea @mvybanks @lovedetlost @valeriiecameron @drdbnkl2008 @indigoreccs @outerbankspov @fangirl-madz @babyspice6 @taintedxkisses @starkeylover @1-800-call-a-milf @fanboyluvr @lou-la-lou @antagonize-me-motherfucker @iheartbadguys @shotgunhallelujah @swiftsgirlfriend @rentaldarling @mommyneytiri @iwantsleepplz @harrys-humble-housewife @c0untryclub

✩ — SINEMIES

PAIRING‧₊˚  Rafe Cameron x Kook!Fem!Reader

SYNOPSIS‧₊˚  [2.8k] Returing to Kildare after years away, your mentality may have changed but you still have some old habits...

WARNING(S)‧₊˚  swearing, mild p*rn without plot but the plot was fun to write, smut

A/N‧₊˚ part of my angstober event!

˗ˏˋ rafe masterlist ˎˊ˗

A COMPACT MIRROR WAS HELD UP TO YOUR LIPS AS YOU TOUCHED UP YOUR LIPS, blotting them together before clamping the small object shut. You could feel the car finally come to a halt before the driver turned to face you.

“We’ve arrived, miss.” He announced, tone chipper and bright as always. You pulled a neatly folded one-hundred dollar bill from your bra and held it out to him, watching as he took the bill as humbly as possible.

“Thank you, Martin.” You thanked your personal driver, the man who had fathered you possibly more than your own, who was always gone on 'business'. Business being running around sleeping with women who were half his age and sipping Martini’s in a hot tub on a skyscraper rooftop 500 miles away. 

“My pleasure. You stay safe now.” He insisted, raising a brow as you offered a smile and reached for the handle. 

“Will do. Have a nice night.” You bid farewell as you swung the door of the sleek, black vehicle open, taking extra care to make sure your legs were never too far apart as you stepped out. The dress you picked out was just brushing what was considered ‘business casual’. You held your matching clutch close to your side and tried your best to ignore the way your heels made the arches of your feet ache. 

Wiggling your fingers at the man behind the wheel, you shut the door and watched as the car drove away. Turning your attention to the house you hadn’t seen in years and honestly hoped to never see again. The Cameron Residence was practically a historical landmark in Kildare. The house hadn’t aged in the years you’d been gone — walking out of it as a heartbroken eighteen year old girl and walking the path up to the door as a refined twenty-two year old woman. 

You could hear the low, classical music playing and the faint chatter of the guests inside. Shadows passing by as silhouettes in front of the curtains, the only lights that were on being on the first level of the home. 

You wasted no time, even in your careful observing, in taking strides towards the front door which would undoubtedly be unlocked, walking carefully as to not trip over your feet and make a fool of yourself. 

When your hand touched the doorknob, pushing open the only structure keeping you from the rest of the party, it was like stepping into a new reality. It was a reality you’d left behind in exchange for college campus life, which was more homey. More comforting and cozy, it kept you grounded. 

This reality was superficial, so superficial it nauseated you like never before. Art pieces on the white walls that cost way too much money and had no real meaning, sports trophies that were bought with wealth statuses and daddy’s money littered amongst coffee tables and mantelpieces. 

But you’d only have to suffer a couple hours and get what you came here for.

“You made it!” A voice beamed close to your ear, turning to see Sarah Cameron walking speedily in a pair of heels and a cream colored silk dress. Her arms were up as she made a b-line in your direction, a genuine smile falling across your face. You adored Sarah. She was probably one of the most genuine people who ever lived on Figure Eight. 

She embraced you tightly, swaying side to side as she did. “Oh, I missed you. We have so much to catch up on!” She gushed, releasing you from her grasp to grab a hold of your wrist instead. “Everyone’s in the backyard. C’mon, they’ve been waiting for you.” The ecstatic blonde girl gave you no time to greet her back or return her affections as she dragged you through the crowd of middle-aged business men and women. 

Stepping into the backyard where circular tables were set up with white tablecloths, candles placed perfectly in the middle of each one. It wasn’t long before your eyes landed on them all standing around one of the set ups. And it wasn’t long before they spotted you too, waving you and Sarah both over.

When you came to a stop in front of them as Sarah released your arm, you were pulled into another embrace by Ward himself. “Oh, honey, look at you!” He cooed, giving you a tight squeeze before pulling back and letting his hands rest on your shoulders. “You look beautiful. Where’s your father? Is he going to make it?”

You gave the man a pained smile. “Thank you, Mr.Cameron. No, he won’t. He’s in the city on ‘unofficial business’.” You spoke, spite evident in your voice. “You know how that goes.”

Ward gave you a comforting smile and squeezed your shoulder reassuringly before removing his hands. “Well, give him my best when you do see him.” With the conversation ending there, you turned your attention to the rest of the people surrounding the table. 

Rose perched under Ward’s arm, Wheezie leaned over the table with her elbows propped up on the surface while she fiddled with her phone, and Rafe. 

He stood directly across from you, hands in the pockets of his slacks as his eyes bored shamelessly into yours.

You stared back for a moment, narrowing your eyes. After a moment, you gave him a thin-lipped smile and small nod of your head in acknowledgement of his presence. “Hi, Rafe.”

“I didn’t think you’d be coming this year.” He spoke, voice deeper and more raspy than you remember. But you had to admit, he looked better. No longer strung out on drugs, mind racing all over the place. He looked tamed.

“Wouldn’t miss it.” You assured him. The tension was palpable and you’re sure the rest of the Cameron family could feel it as Rose and Ward dismissed themselves to greet guests while Sarah dragged Wheezie to go eat all the sample foods in the kitchen with her. 

You and Rafe had dated practically all throughout high school. It was good until it wasn't. Rafe made you fall in love with a version of him that didn't exist and when the mask slipped there was no putting it back on. The relationship became the bane of your existence at some point during it. It couldn't even be described as toxic. Vile is probably a better word.

Once it was just the two of you, Rafe rounded the table to stand next to you as a waiter came around to hand you each a glass of champagne. You sat your clutch on the table and sipped on the beverage as he stood silently next to you, both of you facing forwards watching the party go on around you.

“Are you going to say something?” You asked flatly, tracing the rim of your glass.

“Why are you here?”

“Was I not invited?”

“You only ever come because your father asks you to just so he and my father can talk about property and money. But your father isn’t here. So why are you?” He pointed out.

You chuckled smally to yourself, finally turning your head to look at him as he did the same. “If you think I’m here for you, don’t flatter yourself.” You poked, leaning your weight on the table. “I’m surprised Ward didn’t mention anything to you.”

His eyebrows pinched together. “Mention what?”

“I came here to talk to him. About his company.” You started, taking a short sip of your champagne before continuing. “I want it and if my offer is good enough, he’s going to sell it to me.”

You'd struck a nerve in him. Nostrils flaring, fists balled on the surface of the top as he tried to compose himself. He had never been good with managing his anger. It was good to see that some things never change.

“Why the fuck would my father sell our family business to you?” He spat. “It’s mine. He said it was mine.”

“Well, it seems daddy lied to you.” You shrugged, looking Rafe in the eyes. “Like father, like son.”

Rafe’s eyes were running wild, his cheeks a deep shade of red. He took a step closer to you, placing his lips next to your ear as he spoke. “You’re bluffing. You've always been a bad bluff so, just say you missed me so we can fuck and you can go home.”

“I didn’t travel over two-hundred miles for you, Rafe.” You shot back, voice at his level now. “You never fucked me good enough for that type of commitment.”

“That’s funny. Considering all the screaming you were doing the night before you left for your fancy little Ivy-League School.” 

“You mean the night you begged me to come over? Crying about how you needed me-” You were cut off when Rafe abruptly gripped your upper arm, swiftly dragging you through the huddles of guests, into the house, and into the first open bathroom. He practically used your arm to throw you into the vacant area, closing the door behind himself.

His hands were trailing your thighs and underneath your dress before you could speak, his face only inches from yours. You didn’t think you’d ever miss his touch. It was always so rushed and rough. But now it was deliberately gentle and borderline seductive. 

“I will never forget the easiest way to get you to shut up. You're still the same.”

You snarled at him, mumbling an insult under your breath.

You hadn’t taken notice of the way your hands balled up your dress at the sides in your annoyance, making it easier for his hands to maneuver its way to the front of your panties, pressing the lightest of pressure to your clit. 

Your words had died in your throat, all insults and jabs getting swallowed down as you eyed him up and down while your heart beat out of your chest. Your lips were parted with small breaths leaving your lips every few seconds, refusing to give him complete satisfaction. “This doesn’t change anything.”

A smirk edged on his face before his head dipped down, using his nose to tip your chin up to gain access to your neck. You put up minimal struggle — you knew this wasn’t what you planned to do once you got here. You were here to rub the deal in his face, not fuck him in the downstairs bathroom of his mansion. But that plan became increasingly harder to carry out while he was sucking and licking your neck in all the right places that made you bite down on your tongue to keep quiet while his fingers moved your panties to the side, making contact with your bundle of nerves. One of your own hands released your dress to grab the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer.

The tips of his calloused fingers gilded easily through your dripping folds. He sighed into your neck at the contact and you could feel him smile against your skin, his fingers tracing your core leisurely. “You don’t hate me nearly as much you think you do.”

His words made your blood boil and your legs go weak all at the same time. If he was going to fuck you, then he needed to do just that and shut up while he was at it.

Your free hand ran its up his clothed back, cupping the back of his neck as he resumed his assault on yours. You had to bite down on your lip to stop yourself from making noise that any guest within ten feet of the door would hear as he eagerly pushed two of his fingers inside of you. You were never the quietest.

Your grip on his neck grew tighter, nails digging into the skin as his thick fingers curled and pumped between your legs. You’d been with other guys since Rafe but he knew you too well, which gave him an advantage that you hated. “Oh, fuck…” You muttered when you could no longer hold your profanities in your chest.

Releasing the hand that remained on your dress, you grabbed his wrist in a desperate attempt to shove his digits deeper into your core. 

He must’ve taken this as a sign that you wanted much more than he was offering because it wasn’t long before his fingers went from carefully massaging your g-spot to ramming into you callously. Your mouth fell open, the hand grabbing his wrist now gripping his forearm, feeling the veins on his biceps through his shirt. 

His head retreated from your neck to crash his lips against yours. His kisses no longer tasted like coke how they used to —- chemical and bitter. The only thing you could taste was the fruity-sweet undertones of the expensive champagne. It made your heart clench in the slightest of ways, knowing that just maybe he wasn’t the same person he was when you left.

But you knew he also wasn’t someone you could ever be with.

You were just about to reach your climax when he pulled his fingers back, leaving you empty and clenching around nothing. You didn’t even have a second to complain before he was dropping you to the floor, feet landing on the hardwood floor just in time to catch yourself.

Rafe hiked up your dress above your hips, pulling your panties down like a man starved and turning you to face the wall before using a hand on your back to bend you over. One of your own hands came up to slap itself against the painted surface, keeping you steady.

You could hear him unbutton his pants before letting them drop down his thighs, hearing his shoes shuffle closer behind you before you felt the warm head of his cock, smearing precum over your heat.

He wasted little time in pushing into you, a small groan leaving his lips as both of his hands went to grip your hips, pulling you back onto him with every thrust forward. Quick breaths and low moans were leaving your lips with every slap of his hips against yours.

His pace was moderate, but he was so deep that every push back into you felt like a kick to the gut in the best way possible.

You only felt a little shame when you realized this was exactly where Rafe wanted you. But this didn’t change anything after the fact. And he didn’t know that yet.

You started to feel that knot in your abdomen wind itself tighter again, pulling and pulling until after one particularly deep, knee-trembling thrust and the unexpected feeling of his fingers rubbing circles into your clit, you snapped. Coming around him as your nails scratched against the wall and you let out a long, breathy moan.

He wasn’t far behind you, grip on your hip growing tighter as his thrusts grew more rapid and sloppy, pushing you farther up the wall as your body began to straighten itself out, trembling as his circling of your nerves hadn't let up and he rode out your own high while still fucking into you. You felt the familiar feeling of him spilling inside of you within seconds. You didn’t think you would ever forget it.

You didn’t let him bask in his post-sex haze for long, pulling your garments back on and into place after he pulled out before silently moving around him to see yourself in the mirror. You fixed your loose strands of hair and lip gloss that somehow ran down your lips and onto your chin. You could see the blur of him in the reflective surface behind you as he pulled his pants back on, hair messed and skin red.

Once you deemed yourself decent, you creaked the door open, peeking to see who was near. When you figured the coast was clear, you slipped out of the door, leaving Rafe behind.

You weaved your way through the crowd of people that had thinned out somewhat, heading for the backyard where you realized you had carelessly left your clutch on the table. Making it back to the table where Rafe had dragged you from, half-drunk glasses of champagne and your abandoned clutch on the surface, you grabbed it, ready to turn around and find Ward. 

But of course, the second you turned back to the patio doors, Rafe was just inches behind you.

“You’re leaving now, right?”

You couldn’t help but scoff humorously. “What?”

“You got what you came here for so you’re leaving.” He said as if he had it all figured out. You didn’t think he seriously thought you were bluffing about the business proposal. Poor thing.

“I already told you, Rafe,” You started, shaking your head with a small grin on your face. “I’m not here for you.”

His face morphed into one of great annoyance and mild anger as your name was called, echoing outside. Your gaze shifted behind the irritated man to find Ward coming your way.

Stopping in front of you, he spoke without really noticing his son’s presence. “I’m so glad I caught you. I’ve been busy all night but-” Suddenly, he seemed to notice Rafe’s figure in front of you, hesitant eyes whipping between the both of you to carefully select his next words, not aware of the fact that his son now knew the one thing he didn’t want him to. “...I’d really still like a chance to talk about… that thing, before you go.”

You nodded, only really wanting to conceal the childish smile on your face. “That’d be great, Mr.Cameron. I’ll be sure to stick around.”

The older man gave you a grateful nod, pitifully eyeing his son before heading back inside. Your own gaze shifted back to Rafe, you could’ve sworn you saw steam rising from his ears. And though you felt a twinge of guilt, you just couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You are a lot of things Rafe,” You started, picking up your champagne glass from the table behind you before looking at him again. “But better than me is not one of them.”

General taglist; @livlaughquinn

Event Taglist; @timmytime17

feedback is appreciated! thanks for reading.

©loveharlow

kinktober: dacryphilia

words: 300

warnings: 18+ only, smut, crying, f receiving oral, p in v sex, edging

taglist: @user3729107491 @thelomlisrafecameron @slut4drudy @runningfrom2am @f4ll-for-you @rafescokenostril @sickyrat @darleneslane

“did you just cum without permission?” rafe asks, looking up at you from his spot in between your legs.

“i’m-” you shake your head, knowing you’re unable to deny it as rafe tasted you on his tongue when you let go. “i’m so sorry.” 

“baby.” rafe tsks, looking up at you with disapproval. 

“i’m so sorry rafe.” you let out a sob, tears falling down your face, unable to hold them back from slipping down your cheeks.

rafe looks up at you in awe, cock absolutely pulsing at seeing you crying. rafe stands up suddenly, bending forward and laying his body over yours, pressing his lips to your cheeks. 

“god, you crying shouldn’t be so hot.” rafe mumbles, but you don’t hear most of his words as his cock presses against your entrance, making a few more tears shed as you shake in pleasure.

“i’m sorry rafe, i’m sorry.” you sniff. “i shouldn’t have cum without your permission.” “hey, hey.” rafe says, pushing your hair out of your face as he glides his cock up and down over your pussy, spreading your juices over his length. “it’s okay honey.” rafe feels guilty, not wanting you to be upset and crying but at the same time being immensely turned on.

“i’m gonna fuck you now, do you want that, hm?” he asks, and you nod quickly, large eyes looking up at him as he pushes inside of you.

“feels so good, rafey.” you whine loudly, chest heaving up and down as you are unable to hold back your loud cries, pleasure overwhelming you.

“i know it does, baby.” rafe bends down, kissing along your cheek and jaw. rafe sucks your skin in between his teeth, leaving a purple bruise in his wake as he continues giving you hickeys. “go ahead and cry harder for me, hm.”

“rafe, i-” you try to speak, but his cock presses deeper inside of you, his thumb coming to rub at your clit. you cry out as rafe requested, tears flowing steadily now.

“shouldn’t be so hot.” rafe whispers again, moving faster.

russian roulette- rafe cameron

pair: rafe cameron x fem!drug-boss!reader

genre: smut & tiny teeny bit of angst maybe -> 18+ only!!

warnings: knife play, gun play, blood play, blood licking, mentions of death, mentions of drugs, mentions of alcohol, implied sex on drugs, chocking (sexual way)…, i hope i didn’t forget anything but yeah this one here is a little bit darker

even though this is all written with the intention that it’s 100% consensual, please keep in mind that guns, knives (and indirectly drugs) are involved

words: ~5.7k

summary: a visit to his drug boss turned into a fight over control and power which can only one of them win

note: I have never written anything like this before so i hope it didn’t turn out too bad, other than that, enjoy :)

48 hours. That’s the amount of time Rafe Cameron had to come up with five thousand dollars. Sure, for someone like him, this shouldn't be a big deal but his dad cut off his money as a punishment for misusing the money he gave him for generators after the storm “Agatha'' hit the outer banks. He was broke and in deep shit. So deep, that alone the thought of time passing every second sent a cold shiver down his spine. He knew Barry wasn’t one to fuck with, no drug dealer was but it was something else, something that Barry said before Rafe left his house, that wouldn't leave his brain.

“If you’re screwing me, it’s not just me that you’re screwing, it’s her.”

Her.

Now, Rafe Cameron had never met her before but he heard the stories. Stories of cars burning in driveways, stories of boats that fail in the middle of the ocean, and even whole companies being shut down all because of her. Not a lot of people on this island have ever come across her, or maybe they have but never knew it was her. Those unlucky souls that did indeed meet her, described her as a woman made of nothing but cold beauty as if the devil made her himself. Eyes so pure and warm, a body so divine and perfect with a soul so dark and evil, even Lucifer himself would shiver if he ever looked into it.

But Rafe didn't believe these stories. How could a woman, described as barely older than him, be capable of something like that? How could someone with eyes so pure be so evil? And yet, even though he tried to convince himself, alone the thought of being exposed to her anger, sent shivers down his spine.

And yet, he found himself at the address, an unknown number texted him, as word got around that he wanted to meet her. He had to check twice if he was at the right address since he found himself in front of his step moms favorite flower shop.

He let his hand trace over his back pocket, checking if everything he might need was there before he took a deep breath and walked towards the store.

“Hello darling, what can I do for you?” An elderly woman asked as soon as he entered the shop.

“I uhmm…” He paused as he tried to remember the code word that was given to him. “I am here for hmm… black lilies.”

“Black lilies?” She asked as she raised an eyebrow.

“Yep. Black lilies.”

“Well, in that case you have to come with me, sir.” She signalized him to follow her and walked into the private area of the shop where she stopped in front of a door. She opened it with her key before signaling him to go inside. It was an old utility room, or so he thought. In reality, it was some sort of elevator that brought him down into the basement of the building.

When the door opened, he found himself in some sort of dark office. It looked comfortable, even though it had no sort of daylight. Even though the room had no windows, it smelled fresh in there, like flowers. He quickly found them on the shelf next to another door, probably coming from the flower shop above them. In the middle was a desk and behind it, sat a woman, with a glass of brown liquor in her right hand and a newspaper in the other. She was laying back in her chair with her feet resting on the desk.

“I’ve been expecting you, Rafe Cameron.” She said, without looking up at the man in front of the elevator. “Now come on darling, take a seat.” She smiled softly as she gestured to the seat on the other side of the desk. He was only now able to see her whole and they weren’t wrong. She was beautiful, probably the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on, with eyes so soft he felt like he could tell her everything. Her wavy hair was falling over her shoulders gracefully, matching her silky black dress perfectly. he didn’t see much of it, since it was hidden behind her desk but it was tight, so tight that he could see the borders of what he assumed were nipple piercings, making it hard for Rafe to keep his eyes up.

“Thank you, Miss …”

“(Y/L/N).”

“(Y/L/N).” He finished.

“Now, can I offer you something to drink, Mr. Cameron?” She asked, with a smile so beautiful, one could easily forget who she was.

“I’m good, thank you.”

“So whiskey or vodka? I also got rum but you don’t seem like a rum type of person.”

“Whiskey.” He answered shortly.

She nodded and poured him a drink. He took the time she was distracted to look around her office a little bit more, trying to figure out if she could have any weapons hidden but there was one thing he’d noticed immediately, since the second he entered that office.

“So… are you alone down here?” He asked, trying to hide the slight shakiness in his voice.

She looked at him in disbelief before handing him his drink. “That’s not a subtle way to find out if it’s just the two of us, Mr. Cameron.”

“Oh god, no I… I just thought that maybe you’d have some security or something.”

“See darling, if I’ve learned one thing during my few years in this business, it’s to not trust anyone else with my safety, except myself. She scoffed. “But why are you asking? Are your intentions not as pure as I thought they were?” She asked carefully, her eyes never leaving him.

Her gaze burned right through him, causing him to shit around in his seat. “Oh no, they are as pure as they can be.” He spoke, his voice a little bit shakier than he intended to be and his eyes not leaving the desk in front of him, as he desperately tried to avoid hers. He was nervous and she knew it.

“Hmmm.” She purred as she swung her legs from the table in order to position herself closer to him. He now looked around the room, pretending like he was just waiting for a response when he suddenly felt a cold material against his skin, gently pushing his face up. He didn't need to look to know what it was, he knew exactly what the barrel of a gun felt like. He swallowed at the realization, now slowly looking up into her eyes. What once seemed so warm and welcoming once, now turned ice cold. “Then tell me, pretty boy, why aren’t you able to look me in the eyes? You haven't once since you arrived here, only staring when I wasn’t looking. Such a shame actually, you have such pretty eyes.”

“I…” He wanted to say something but it was like the words suddenly left his brain, but even if he had known what to say, he wouldn’t have gotten any word out due to his throat turning dry as dust.

“Shht it’s okay, darling, I knew about that gun in your back pocket since the moment you got here. You should learn how to hide it better. Now tell me, why did you want to meet?” She smirked, “And before you answer, slowly put your gun up here and leave your hands on the table. Don’t bother lying sweetheart, I’ll know.” Her voice turned dark now, nothing like the sweet sound from when he first got there.

“Fine.” He growled, as he reached into his back pocket and did as he was told. She pushed the gun aside with a grin, her eyes still not leaving him for a second. “I owe you money, a lot actually, and-”

“And you wanted to ask for more time?” She let out a soft laugh.

“Oh come on, don’t pretend like you didn’t know that already.” The boy scoffed and it was as if something shifted in him. “Now you have my hands and my gun, what about you putting that thing away so we can have a civilized conversation.”

“So, so many demands, one could think you’re the one charge.”

“Oh no ma'am, we all know you are.” He smirked, a dark sparkle in his light eyes.

She was surprised at his sudden confidence but impressed enough to put the gun away. “So you came here, only to tell me that you have no money?” She chuckled. “That’s bold.”

“I thought maybe I could do something else for you, to pay my debt.” The young man proposed, causing the girl to raise an eye. “A job, of course.” He added quickly as he realized how his proposal sounded at first. Even though he would have lied to himself if he said he wouldn’t be open to that as well.

“And what job do you have in mind, Mr. Cameron?” She asked as she leaned forward, crossing her arms under her chest. “What could you possibly do for me that would cover your debt?”

“You tell me.” He smirked confidently. “You’re the boss, aren't you?” Now it was him that moved closer to her. It was hard to tell for either of them where this newfound confidence came from when his heart was in his boots only moments ago. But there was something else Rafe was feeling, a feeling that came up every time she laid her eyes on him. He was smitten by her beauty and her power and he didn’t want to admit it but he was impressed. How did she manage to climb that ladder up so high, in a business that was dominated by middle-aged men?

“Right… You know, I might actually have a job for you.”

“Continue…”

She told him about how she needed a driver for her next shipment since her regular one got into an accident. It was an easy job and would pay way more than he owed her. He was in immediately, no further questions asked. She was about to explain the details when her phone started ringing.

“Excuse me.” She mumbled as she grabbed her phone and disappeared into the next room.

While she was gone, Rafe used the time to look around when his eyes fell on the leftovers of some white powder next to her glass. He wasn’t craving anything right now, but he knew he’d be later.

Rafe also knew it was a bad idea from the moment he got it but he knew how the withdrawal would feel like, he had to go through it way too often before. So he got up and carefully looked around, trying to find any sign of her coming back but he could still hear her cussing around in the other room in a language that he assumed was Spanish. It made sense since he knew she had contacts in Middle and South America.

He walked around the desk, trying not to make a sound until he was standing next to her empty chair. He tried to open the drawers but none of them would open except for one. He carefully opened it and there it was, a tiny bag of white powder.

He thought about it for another moment, knowing this would probably be the stupidest thing he ever did, even worse than buying that bike from the generator money, but then, when the addiction hit, no one was able to think rationally, and Rafe Cameron the least.

He took the bag and quietly closed the drawer, again, trying not to make any alarming noises. He took his gun and shoved the bag into his pocket before letting himself fall back into the seat, as he waited for her to come back.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart, someone messed up my last shipment and now they’ve got the cops investigating.” She explained as she entered the room. Her eyes immediately traveled to the missing gun on the table, but she chose to let it go.

“I’m sorry to hear that ma’am.”

“Oh don’t worry about it, it will resolve itself on its own soon.” She smirked confidently as if she had a backup plan for something like this all along.

“I’m afraid I have to leave now…” Rafe stumbled, trying to contain his voice from becoming all shaky again but it was hard considering he just robbed a drug boss. “Can you… can you text me the details?”

“Sure.” She answered, with a smile on her face that was way too soft and friendly for his liking.

He got up and reached out to shake her hand, which she returned. “Then…thank you for giving me this chance and I promise I won’t disappoint.” He mumbled more than actually speak.

“Oh, you won’t.” She smirked and got closer to him, dangerously closer to him.

He gave her a stern and a rather uncomfortable nod before he turned around on his heels, dying to get out of there as soon as possible. He thought he did it when he suddenly felt the cold metal of a gun pressed against his head. He closed his eyes at the feeling, trying to stay calm because he knew doing that was his best and probably the only option.

“Did you really think I would just let you walk away after you stole from me?” She whispered into his ear, followed by a soft laugh. “You are dumber than I thought.”

“If you shoot me, you will never see your money.” He spoke quietly.

“You think I’m relying on your money?” She chuckled. “Sweetheart, I'd buy myself a new pair of heels from the money you owe me.” He took a deep breath, trying to think of what to do next. He still had his gun in his back pocket but she was standing so close to him, he was sure that she even felt it against her leg. “Now put your hands up, pretty boy.”

He did as told and slowly turned around, now looking directly into her stone-cold eyes. He tried to keep cool but his heart was pounding like it never had before. He was scared, obviously but there was also something about this scenario that turned him on. Maybe it was the intoxicating smell of her perfume, maybe it was the way her eyes flickered when she scanned him upside down, or maybe it was the way her dress hugged her body so perfectly like it was made just for her, revealing just the perfect amount of skin but not too much. He knew he shouldn't feel that way, she was dangerous, she was a killer and soon she would have his blood on her hands but if she was so bad, then why was he so down for her?

He tried to hide it but she saw the fear in his eyes. He was terrified and she thought it was adorable. She didn’t lie earlier, she never lied, he did have pretty eyes and if she wasn't careful she might have lost herself in them. She had trouble admitting it to herself but she was intrigued. How could such a pretty boy, coming from one of the richest families on the island get himself in so much trouble? Stealing from her? Especially after she was so gracious and offered him a job to pay his debt? She knew what she had to do, she had to keep up her reputation after all but if she knew what to do then why wasn’t he dead on the floor already? Why was he still standing in front of her? If she knew what to do then why wasn’t he on his knees, pleading for his damn life? If she knew what to do then why was she still standing there, thinking about the taste of his lips on hers?

He got closer to her and bit his lips while his eyes flickered from hers down to her lips. He was close, his lips almost touching hers and his breath so hot against her skin it always felt like he could burn her. She was the one with her finger against the trigger and yet her heart beat so fast, she thought it might explode.

“So what, you gonna shoot me now?” He whispered.

“You know I have to. You stole from me.”

“Hm.” He chuckled softly against her lips. “Then do it, sweetheart, shoot me.”

She closed her eyes, preparing to pull the trigger when she suddenly felt his lips on hers. The kiss was slow and shaky at first, considering he still had a gun to his head but it quickly turned into something hungry and passionate. She leaned into it as she pushed him against the wall behind them. She could feel him smirking against her lips as his hand wandered over her hips until it landed on her ass. She tried to stay focused, careful not to lose control with her gun still pressed onto his head, signaling him one wrong move and it could all be over. But she couldn't keep her focus for long, as his kisses got more intense each second and his hand movements became bolder with each kiss. It was as if he forgot about his situation, or as if he just stopped caring. She was about to forget it herself when he suddenly swung her around, making her drop the gun at the harsh impact against the wall. She wanted to do something about it but got quickly stopped by a clicking sound and the feeling of cold metal against her head.

She swallowed at the sudden change of situation, knowing he was in control now. She silently cursed at herself for not taking his gun away when she stopped him in front of the elevator but maybe some part of her knew what they were doing when she chose to ignore it.

“You dropped something, princess.” He smirked, knowing god damn well he won this round. “I’m in charge now.”

“Looks like it.” She whispered as she bit her lip. “Then tell me, pretty boy, what happens next?”

(Y/N) would lie if she said she didn’t like how the tables have turned. She would lie if she said it didn’t drive her crazy how he tricked her into losing her focus. She would lie when she said it didn’t make her even hornier than before and the pool in her thong proved it.

She could regain control of the situation with ease and he would be stupid if he thought otherwise. (Y/N) knew what she was doing, and she knew to never rely on solely one weapon, she knew better than that.

Coward. She thought to herself after she didn’t get any response. She leaned in and started kissing his neck to take matters into her own hand. She knew what she had to do and his lack of anticipation only made it easier for her. Or so she thought.

“Wanna make you feel good.” She breathed into his ear as she gently dug her teeth into his soft skin. “Please.”

“But what gentleman would I be if I wouldn't make sure you’re satisfied first?” He smiled. “Rafe Cameron always makes sure his girl is satisfied first.”

She swallowed at the realization that he saw right through her. Because Rafe knew better than to trust her. “Now head back against the wall, princess.” He grinned. “And don’t move.”

She did as she was told and leaned back. He leaned in and started placing wet kisses on her neck before traveling back to her lips where his tongue quickly gained control of her mouth. His one finger was still on the trigger, his other hand went down and slowly crawled under the dress where he was met with the sharp end of a pocket knife. He laughed at the pain, knowing he was right.

“Hm, would you look at that?” He grinned as he pulled it out from beneath her dress, blood dripping down his hand. “Look what you did to me, baby.” He didn't expect an answer and he didn’t get one. All he got was a wicked smirk on her lips and a look so evil, he could have sworn his heart stopped for a second. She slowly reached for his hand, never breaking eye contact as she put his fingers into her mouth, careful not to cut herself with the knife still in his hands. She sucked off every single drop of blood before releasing his fingers.

“Took care of it, didn’t I?”

He chuckled at the realization of what just happened before leaning back in. The kiss was hungrier now, as his tongue traced her mouth, making him taste his blood on her tongue. He put the gun back into his pocket, knowing it would be easier if he focused on one weapon at a time.

She could feel the sharp blade tracing over her skin as he cut off her thong with one quick cut. She whined at the pain as the knife cut her skin, causing Rafe to giggle. “What? Did I hurt you, sweetheart?” He asked with a tone of fake concern in his voice.

“Just a tickle.”

“Hmmm.” He mourned against her skin as he let his tongue travel over her skin, cleaning up the blood trail the knife caused. “So sweet.”

She gasped at the burning pain when his saliva met her wound but let her head fall back against the wall, as his tongue swirled through her folds and sweet moans escaped her mouth. This man knew exactly what he was doing as he let the tip of his tongue trace over her clit before slamming it back inside. He still held the knife in his one hand, ready just in case she got any stupid ideas but his other hand was free to support his tongue. She held up her leg and laid it onto his shoulder, giving him not only more space to work his wonders but also giving her control over his movements. Because even if Rafe thought he had all the power, (Y/N) would never give up complete control.

She tried to keep quiet at first, not wanting Rafe to know how much she loved this but he saw how wet she was before and he could feel her walls tighten around his tongue, knowing she was close.

“Don’t try to hide your pretty voice from me darling, let me hear you.” He muffled against her pussy, sending vibrations through her body that only brought her closer to the edge.

“Don’t… don’t stop!” She whimpered between her moans.

And he didn’t stop. He kept going faster and deeper until her screams filled the room and he was pretty sure the lady from above could hear them. He helped her ride out her orgasm and licked it all clean afterward, looking like a little boy who just got his first ice cream.

“Now, on your knees.” He demanded as he let his pants slip down his legs, revealing his cock in front of her. She smirked at the sight, disappointed that her plan didn't work earlier but still hungry for him.

She opened up as she let the tip of his length slide over her tongue, the taste of precum traveling through her mouth. He still had the knife in his hand but her movements ripped him out of reality and forced him to forget his environment, only focusing on the touch of her tongue on his skin. (Y/N) knew exactly what she was doing, her tongue tracing over his cock as if it was programmed to do just this and nothing else.

She looked up at him with innocent eyes but he could see an evil sparkle shining right back at him.

It didn’t take long until he was falling apart inside her but she took it all as he did before. He was so wrapped up in the feeling of euphoria that he hadn’t noticed and before he knew she was standing right in front of him with the knife under his chin. As he slowly came to realize what just happened, he tried to carefully reach into his back pocket but he was met with nothing.

“You looking for this, pretty boy?” She smirked devilishly, as she let the small gun spin through her fingers.

He swallowed, knowing that she had it all and he had indeed nothing. “What now, princess? Gonna kill me now?” He got closer to her, completely ignoring the sharp pain of the knife that started to bury itself into his skin. “Do it. Do it baby but we both know that we’re not quite finished yet.” He whispered against her skin, sending a cold shiver down her spine.

She knew she could end it now, end it and she would win. But then she would never know how he would feel inside of her. She would never know how it feels to have him thrusting against her g-spot or how it would feel to be skin-to-skin with his naked body.

“You’re hesitating.” He stated, with narrowed eyes as if he was about to realize something. He chuckled softly, before slowly taking her wrist and moving it away from his throat. “You can let go, sweetheart, I'm not going to run from you.”

He was right, she was hesitating. She didn't know why, she never hesitated before but there was something about him, that made her question herself. Maybe it were his looks, but she had encountered many pretty men before and none made her feel the way he did. No, it weren't his looks. Then she thought, maybe it was cockiness, even though he was scared, he didn't hold back. Maybe it was that, mixed with the fact, that he challenged her, something no one managed to do before him.

She looked up at him, debating whether she should trust him or not. He gently let his hand slide through her hair as he pulled away loose strands and tugged them behind her ear and for a second, he could’ve sworn there was a softness in her eyes that he had never seen before. “I don’t…” She tried to say but she was too distracted. Too distracted by his hand in her hair and his other on her wrist and too distracted by his scent that blew through her nose, intoxicating all her senses.

“Shhh.” He whispered, with his finger now on her lips. “You don’t have to say anything, darling.” He smiled. “Just relax.”

She looked at him, his eyes full of warmth, something that she hasn’t seen too often before. It felt as if he genuinely liked her as if genuinely cared but then who was she fooling, he probably just wanted to distract her into giving in to him once again. And it worked. The moment his lips touched hers she lost. The kiss was slow, not as hungry and passionate as before, as if he tried to calm her down. As if he could feel how fast her heart beat in her chest, how nervous she became with every second. He gently pushed her back against the table, hoping she’d let go of the weapons in her hands but she held steady. He had her but she was still the one in control and he hated that. His mouth wandered to her neck where he traced his tongue up to her ear, gently nibbling around her earlobe.

“Hop up baby.” He breathed into her, causing her to moan out at the tickling feeling in her ear.

The feeling shot through her whole body as she lost control of any power circling through her hands. She lost the feeling of metal against her skin but she didn’t notice, not even the klirr as the gun met the ground beneath her. All she felt was his hot breath against her skin and his erection against her cunt, and she lost sight of everything around her.

She did as told and hopped up on her desk. Rafe let go of her wrist and held up his arms, so she could pull off his shirt. She laid the knife beside her and pushed the fabric of his shoulders while he pushed his boxers down his legs completely. He then pushed her dress away under her ass until he could pull it off her body. He stopped for a second, completely hypnotized by the beauty of her body. The tattoos that marked her skin, a thin, red dragon that made its way up her rips in the right side of her body, a black rose under her left boob and many other small ones such as a date under her right boob. But the one that caught his attention the most was a snake, just between her tits. Thin, black lines with red details crawled their way up her sternum. It only took over a small part of her body, and yet it looked incredibly majestic.

She watched him as he mustered her body, probably thinking about what each of the pictures on her skin meant. He gently let his hand travel over her skin until his thumbs reached her nipples. He carefully slid over the cold metal of her piercings, causing her to get goosebumps all over her skin.

“You’re beautiful.” He smiled softly. “Now lay down for me princess.”

She swung her leg over the table, accidentally pushing off their glasses from before. She winced at the sound of the glass breaking but quickly calmed down as Rafe hopped on right behind her, now sitting on top of her. His lips not even inches away from hers, he let his finger slide over her skin until he reached her clit. He gently massaged her until he slid inside, making sure she was ready for him.

“Please…” She whimpered, but he pulled out his fingers and placed them in her mouth, making her taste herself.

“Patience darling.” He whispered against her lips, “You want me inside of you but I don’t even know your name.”

He was right, she had only told him her last name. Only very close people to her knew her first name and Rafe Cameron, was so far away from close, and yet he was the one she felt the closest to she had felt in a very long time.

“(Y/N)…” She breathed against his skin, “It’s… It’s (Y/N)”

“How pretty. Now, are you gonna be a good girl for me (Y/N)?” He smiled at her nod and gently pushed himself inside her. She was indeed ready for him as he didn’t even need to use his fingers for help.

They both moaned out in sync at the feeling of him inside her. He took her hand and buried his inside, while his other hand went to her throat. She let out a quiet moan at the pressure against it, and let her hand travel through his hair, pulling him down into her lips.

While she dominated his mouth, he had control of his movements. It was as if they were made for each other, his tip perfectly reaching her spot every time he thrust into her walls hugging him so tight as if they never wanted to let him go again.

“You’re so tight, baby girl…” He breathed out, “So perfect for me.”

She wrapped her legs around his back, losing one of her heels in the process. She pushed him even closer into her, almost screaming at the feeling as he thrust into her even stronger. Her walls tightened around him, he knew she was close but he didn’t want it to end yet, no he wanted this to last forever.

“Rafe…” She whimpered, tears in her eyes as he pushed her closer to her breaking point.

“Hold on baby girl, hold on for me.” He whispered as he leaned in for another kissing session. His one hand united with hers, his other leaving choking marks on her neck while her nails traced red lines over his back, so that everyone knew who he belonged to. Her.

She had never felt this sort of connection before, sure he messed up, he had bad intentions the second he entered her office but she couldn’t help it. He had her wrapped around his finger and they both knew it. Maybe it was his smile, maybe it was the way his scent intoxicated her thoughts or maybe it was just the drugs but at this moment she would’ve done everything for him and (Y/N) was never one to fall for anyone.

“Faster baby.” She whimpered between the kisses, a wish he was only happy to grant.

He sped up his pace causing her to scream out his name. “Music to my ears.” He chuckled. He then went even faster as his orgasm started to build up as well.

“Hm can’t hold it anymore…” She cried out, a tear streaming down her face. “Please…”

"Then come for me, pretty girl." He thrust into her harder and mercilessly as her walls tightened around him and they both let out moans and screams of pleasure as they reached their breaking points.

She had her eyes closed, as she tried to recover from her high, a soft smile on her lips. He took that picture in for a second, her makeup all messed up from her tears. It was a beautiful sight and he wished he would never have to look at something different but he also knew what he had to do.

She was about to open her eyes and say something when she felt cold and sharp metal pressed against her throat. She opened her eyes back up and looked at his, eyes dark but with a hint of sorrow buried inside of them.

“Hm.” She laughed. “Of course.” She tried to stay cool but he saw the tears forming in her eyes.

He was still sitting on her, pressing her body down on and cornering her between himself and the cold table beneath them. There was no way for her to turn this around and they both knew it.

He made her give up her weapons and she trusted him. She let down her guard, something that she had never done with anyone before and now she had to pay the price.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered into her ear as he leaned down. “But we both knew this could only end in two ways.” He paused, leaning back to look into her eyes, gently wiping away the tear rolling out of her beautiful eye. “And… and it seems like I won.”

“Seems like you did.” She whispered before closing her eyes and accepting whatever fate it was that Rafe Cameron had for her.

tag list: @rafesmoon

- let me know if you want to be added ♡

silent treatment

words: 900

warnings: drug dealer rafe, established relationship, arguing but its very fluffy throughout and never actually serious

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @winterrrnight @drudyslut @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl

“rafey, are you almost done?” you ask, causing him to turn his head to look at you for the first time since you both entered the party and parted ways for rafe to do business.

“come here, baby.” rafe beckons you closer, so you cross the line of people waiting and take a seat on the couch next to rafe. “what's wrong?”

“nothing's wrong, i just miss you.” you pout, lacing your fingers through rafes. “i know you're selling right now but i thought we would be able to hang out tonight.”

rafe looks at the line of people waiting, then down at his stash. “im almost sold out, yeah? think you can wait ten more minutes?”

“can i sit here?” you ask, and when rafe nods you curl up against his side. he has to shake your hand loose as the next person walks up, buying some drugs that rafe would never in his life let you touch, but had no problem selling to other people.

you busy yourself with playing with a loose strand on rafes shorts as the packets in front of him dwindle down to only one small baggie of white powder left. rafe pockets it, shooing the rest of the people waiting away, telling them to come find him at the next party.

just when rafe finishes counting the money and you expect to get up and actually enjoy the party with your boyfriend, barry takes a seat on the armchair across from you.

“how was tonight?” he asks.

“sold it all, kept a baggie for myself.” rafe splits the money and hands most of it to barry for getting him the supply, pocketing the rest for himself.

“im getting a new shipment in tuesday-” you stop listening as they start to talk business again, linking your hand with rafes and rubbing your thumb over the back of his hand. you begin to stroke his arm with your other hand, craving any sort of attention from him.

“baby, stop, you're distracting me.” rafe says, pulling his hand out of your grip.

“sorry.” you whisper, looking between barry and rafe, wondering how much longer they're going to take.

“can i sit on your lap?” you ask, knowing rafe doesn't care about others seeing your pda so he shouldn't mind, he's let you sit on his lap in the past, he's even pulled you onto it himself.

rafe sighs, rubbing his forehead before sitting back, pulling you onto his knee so you're purched on the edge.

you groan, knowing that this isn't what you asked for as you turn to frown at rafe.

“baby, why are you being so clingy tonight?” rafe asks, pulling you by your waist into him so your side is pressed against his chest.

“im not.” you pout, crossing your arms over your chest.

“yeah, you definitely are. won't even let me talk to barry for ten minutes without getting all whiney.” rafe says, a small smile on his face, but it doesn't placate you, it just annoys you.

you stand up, moving away from rafe and leaving him to do whatever the fuck he wants with barry.

--

“baby, you didn't talk to me all night, please don't give me the silent treatment again today too.” rafe says, attempting to press a kiss to your shoulder, but you just move away to continue making pancakes. rafe keeps his eyes on you as you move about the kitchen.

you plate your pancakes, leaving the rest for rafe to get himself if he wants them and walk into the dining room. you're glad for the music you put on to drown out the silence at rafe sits across the table with his own plate.

you eat without looking up at him, somehow able to keep yourself quiet.

“so you're giving me the silent treatment but still made enough pancakes for me?” rafe asks.

you simply shrug, getting up to finish your pancakes in the kitchen.

“here, let me do the dishes.” rafe comes barging into the kitchen, interrupting you from beginning to clean. you simply shrug and walk away, not even giving him a thank you. you listen to him start to clean up, snickering silently at his grumblings to himself before heading upstairs to get changed.

“what are your plans for today?” rafe asks when you reemerge downstairs, wearing a simple outfit of leggings and a t-shirt. you give rafe a pointed look, one to reinforce the fact that you are not speaking to him before walking away.

rafe leaves you alone for a few hours when he is in the home gym working out. you peak through the glass doors a few times to admire his sweat sheened muscles, but don't let him catch you and go back to scrolling on your phone on the couch when he starts to clean up.

“im gonna go shower.” rafe calls as he passes through the living room. “care to join me?”

“no.” you call back.

you hear rafe stop in his tracks, halting and turning back to face you. “you just talked to me.”

“that doesn't cou-AHHH!” you shout as rafe jumps over the couch, dropping his body over yours as he presses kisses to your face, your phone long forgotten as it falls to the floor.

“im still mad at you, fuck off.” you say, but giggle the entire time, unable to resist his kisses.

“baby, you can tell me to fuck off or that you're mad all you want, just never ever give me the silent treatment again, i was going crazy.” rafe presses your lips together in a kiss and you give in, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“it sounds like you're the clingy one now.” you grin at him.

“absolutely.” rafe nods in agreement.

sleepover

words: 700

warnings: 18+ only, smut, handjob, mentions of blowjobs, best friends brother

“am not.” you complain as rafe tells you you’re too little for what feels like the hundredth time.

“yes you are baby.” he coos out, laughing as you pout.

“you’re like barely older than me.” you argue, grinding your hips down.

“three whole years.” rafe reminds you. the same age difference between him and sarah, afterall, you were her friend first.

“but im not a kid!” your eyes flutter closed as you bounce your body up and down, hoping your movements are enough to entice rafe.

“maybe you need to get your behavior in check before i fuck you.” rafe strokes his cock slowly as you’re sitting on his lap, one of his fingers buried inside of you.

“so im not too little?” you question, gripping rafes thighs as you lean back, body moving in waves as you feel his finger push into you.

“eh.” rafe shrugs. he doesn’t have a good reason why he won’t fuck you yet, why he teases you by making you ride his thigh or suck him off. he likes seeing you impatient and needy, teasing you until you both finally break and rafe fucks you.

“you’re so mean.” you pout, eyes opening to watch rafes hand glide up and down his cock.

you pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you reach forward, swiping your thumb over the head of his cock before grasping it and adding to rafe strokes.

“not gonna get me to fuck you.” rafe smirks, laughing slightly when you wiggle your body as a complaint, clenching your pussy around his finger in an attempt to entice him.

“at least add a second, please.” you wanna prove to rafe that you can take it, that you’re able to fit his cock inside of you.

“whats the point of opening you up when im not gonna be inside of you?” rafe questions, dropping his hand away so you can continue stroking his cock.

“raaafe.” you whine. he laughs at you, but adds a second finger inside your cunt, making you moan as you really do feel the stretch, his fingers pushing against your walls as you grind against him.

“make me cum and i’ll touch your clit too, baby.” rafe huffs out. you sit forward, letting out a gasp when rafes fingers curl inside of you, but you don’t let the rush of pleasure distract you from gripping his cock with both hands, working him up and down near frantically.

rafe wishes his digits weren’t currently thrusting into your cunt so you could bend down and take him in your mouth, but he’ll settle for cumming all over your tits and stomach.

“almost there.” he grunts out, chest heaving up and down as you begin to moan with every push forward of his fingers, your hands tightening on his cock as it swells, and then suddenly rafe is cumming, painting your torso as he groans out.

before his orgasm is even finished, his hand turns so his thumb can rub against your clit, not bothering to be gentle as he rubs harshly against your bud.

“i- shit.” you curse, hands falling away from rafes cock the second it stops pulsing as you lean forward, gripping rafes shoulders.

“cum for me, pretty.” he coos out. “don’t you think sarah is getting suspicious of where you disappeared to?”

you let out a moan at the mention of sarah, hoping she hears and you get caught, wanting to quit hiding what you have with rafe. 

“yeah.” you nod. “yeah-i-im close.” 

rafe is unforgiving with his fingers, pushing them so deep inside of you that your orgasm is suddenly ripping through your body as you cum with a loud shout of his name, slumping forward against his bare chest.

“shh, thats it. i got you.” rafe rubs your clit gently through your high until you’re whining and oversensitive, thighs clenching closed.

“you’re gonna fuck me next time, right rafe?” you question.

“when is your next sleepover with sarah?” he questions, as if you don’t spend every weekend at tanneyhill.

“friday.”

“perfect.” rafe helps you sit up, pressing a kiss to your lips. “sneak out and come to my room.”

“you’re gonna fuck me?” you sit up straighter, excitement evident in your voice.

“no, but you can suck my cock.” rafe chuckles while you let out a frustrated groan.

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @rafeyslove @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @cokepewpsii @mysticallystilinski @luvdella @aerangi @vogueprincess @yourenogoodforme @auryyz @mayhem-72 @thestarlithideout @marvelfanfics1recs @rafesgiirl @ditzyzombiesblog @chiaraanatra @tobiaslut

CEO rafe oh he can get it

but this is so well written imma be waiting for the next part

well kept [1] r. cameron

[warnings] dark!ceo!rafe x reader, size difference, billionaire!older!rafe, shy!reader with low self-esteem, reader is a person who stutters, boss x personal assistant, heavy abuse of power, emotional/mental manipulation, bdsm elements, rafe has control issues, some sugar baby vibes, future NONCON/DUBCON, little editing, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+

A/N: Pls reblog and let me know what you think!

word count: 4.8k

In which you interview for a low-level position at Cameron Development, but instead, you unexpectedly find yourself chosen as Rafe Cameron's personal assistant.

rafe cameron masterlist

The sky was dreary. You looked up to see dark and ominous clouds staring down at you. Taking a breath to steady your nerves, you continued walking along the pavement. At least the southern sun wasn’t beating down on you. Maybe you’d appear less sweaty and nervous to your possible employer. 

Charlotte was a big city you hadn’t fully explored, but your walk was familiar. A few blocks down from the Cameron Development headquarters was the Mug & Muffin, where you’d been serving coffee for the past year. You practically only served housewives who had the time to grab coffee at 11 in the morning and suits who were on their way to the giant buildings downtown to make more money than you’d ever see in your whole life. 

Today was your day off; however, it was the only day of the week that you weren’t working for ten straight hours. Somehow, you’d been selected to interview for a Filing Clerk position at Cameron Development. You thought it was some kind of mistake that out of all the places you applied to through online portals, a legitimate company wanted to interview you. Not only was it legit, but they had their building downtown. The building was no skyscraper, but looking up at twenty dark steel floors, huge windows wrapped around each side, and a sparkling gold sign that read CAMERON, you felt incredibly intimidated. 

When you finally pushed through the revolving doors, you reminded yourself that it was a small position. A small position you weren't qualified for, but there was no need to worry. The receptionist on the first floor barely glanced at you when you approached her. You took a deep breath, slowly releasing it before starting your sentence: “Hi, I have an eight-thirty interview with Andy Speer in the Record Management department.”

She spoke curtly, “Twelfth floor,” She pointed to the elevators hidden behind a corner.

“Th-Thank you,” You mumbled, your shoes clicking against beautiful marble floors as you made your way to the elevators. You weren’t expecting to go so high up the building. The ride felt like an eternity, with each floor reminding you of how out-of-place you were. Even the receptionist who worked on the first floor acted like she was above you. You wiped your sweaty palms on your dress, grateful you’d chosen a black one. Well, you were thankful that you’d chosen the second out of the only two nice dresses you owned. 

You were now the age you should've graduated college at, you couldn’t work at a coffee shop forever. If you ever wanted to not have to live with three other people then you needed a serious job. You needed to take advantage of this opportunity. If you somehow landed it, this was the type of job where you might be able to grow. Who knows? Maybe you’d eventually be able to afford a car payment. Those thoughts pushed you forward as you walked down the hallway. 

“Ah, Ms. Y/L/N,” The male voice came from behind you and you whirled around to see a short, bearded man approaching you. He wore a blue dress shirt and navy tie and was carrying a coffee from no other place than the Mug & Muffin. You spotted a small brown spot near his shirt pocket wear he’d clearly spilled some, “You’re here about the Filing Clerk position?”

You nodded, your heart beginning to race, as you stuck your hand out for him to shake. You weren’t sure if you were overdressed, having worn your outfit at your cousins wedding, but you added a red cardigan and ballet flats to make it more professional, “Yes,” You smiled, “That’s mmm-me.”

He didn’t seem to look you over more than once, and his smile remained despite the bump in your speech, “Great, my name is Andy Speer. I manage the department. Come on into my office.”

Breath, you reminded yourself. Start your sentences slow. Take a pause if you need to. If you get stuck, don’t get too frustrated. Try not to bring attention to it. 

When you settled into his office, relatively small but with a large window that had a lovely view of the city, he began the interview. You folded your hands in your lap, trying to be acutely aware of your facial expressions and your body’s posture. 

“So, tell me a little about your experience,” He started. 

“Well,” Breath in and slowly release, “I’ve actually been working at the Mug & Muffin as a shift lead for the past year but, before that, I worked in retail for several years. I’m v-vvvv-very organized; that’s why I’ve been able to help with-with both managing inventory and scheduling tasks.”

“Organization is key in a position like this. And you also know how to work on your feet. Our clerks travel all throughout the building, retrieving documents and assisting with things like file purging and managing file systems.”

Deep breath in. Start slowly. 

“I’m totally capable of being in service to others. Working in customer service will teach you how to deal with people very quickly and I’m sure there are similar ups and d-downs even within a company. I think it’s important to show a p-p-person that you’re listening, even if you c-c-can’t help them directly.”

He nodded, “People tend to forget that. What else interests you about working in Records Management?”

“I like the idea of keeping things in order. Making ssss-ssss,” Too fast. Slow down, “Sssss-sssss-sure. Uhm. Making sure everything is in place. It ssss-sound sss-small but it’s s-something I’m good at. And I’d like to be a part of a bigger company where I can grow and learn.”

Andy’s lips parted, and he gave you a look that you were no stranger to, “Ms. Y/L/N, if you don’t mind me asking–”

“I have a stutter,” You finished his sentence before taking another breath, slowing down as much as you could, “I have it managed, mostly. When I’m asked direct questions, or I’m especially nervous, it can flare up. But I-I-I am nervous. I’m interested in this job.”

Andy smiled softly, and your heart seemed to rest slightly. The pounding in your chest was about to make you go crazy.

“I appreciate your honesty. I have more questions for you but there’s no need to be confined to this office. I’ll show you around the building.”

You were more than relieved, instantly nodding. He seemed to understand how tense you were and undoubtedly the conversation would feel more casual if the two of you were walking at the same time. The interview continued, and Andy allowed you time to ask him questions about your possible role. 

Still, you felt small, like a child in an adult’s world. Andy touched on your lack of secondary education but didn’t press it. You explained how you’d completed two years of your undergrad degree, majoring in accounting but had to leave for personal reasons. You explained that you eventually wanted to finish your degree, but in reality, you’d only chosen accounting because it was one of the few majors that didn’t require you to take a public speaking class. 

You followed him through corridors with large glass meeting rooms on either side. Again, everyone you came across looked like they belonged. You walked past a room with a long, sleek table, and it seemed like at least twenty people were sitting at the table. At the front of the room was a tall man, impeccably dressed in a navy blue suit. His back was slightly turned, but the air of authority permeated through the glass all the way to you. You felt it against your skin. 

His voice was raised but was muffled by the glass barrier, “That’s Mr. Cameron. Our CEO.”

Your lips parted when you caught a real glance at him. He was older but much younger than you expected. Certainly younger than a CEO typically was. His hair was buzzed short, his skin a nice tan color, and blue eyes that locked on you. Briefly but intensely, “Let’s continue our tour.”

The rest of the tour happened in a blur. You felt that you made a good impression on Mr. Speer. He was accepting of your stutter and resonated with all the examples you shared from your past jobs. He informed you that they were interviewing four other applicants but that you’d receive an update in the next week about whether they’d chosen you. 

You felt slightly more confident than when you arrived and you reached for your phone, wanting to text your roommate how it went and that you’d be home soon but you ran into wall of muscle as you stepped onto the elevator, “S-Sorry,” You gasped, reaching down to grab your phone which had slipped from your grasp, “Ssss-so sss-sorry.”

Just shut up, you told yourself, and you found yourself actually speechless when you looked up into Mr. Cameron’s eyes, “Careful,” He said, slightly patronizing, and you wanted to crawl inside your skin. You tucked your phone away into your bag, stepping aside until you were on the other side of the elevator. 

The elevator door closed, and your eyes widened when you realized the elevator was not going down, “Oh,” You breathed, “You’re going up.”

Of course he was going up. The CEO works on the top floor. And now, here you were, stuck in an elevator with the CEO himself, a barista dressed up and pretending to belong in a place you had no right to be.

“Yeah, you can usually tell by looking at the arrows before you get on.”

You pressed your lips together, determined not to say anything more, even though you could feel his eyes on you. He sighed, “You’re new, I’m assuming.”

You shook your head. Breathe, start slowly. “I interviewed today. File Clerk.” Keep it brief, you reminded yourself. There was no need to try to impress the CEO—he was far too important to be involved in hiring someone like you. It was better not to embarrass yourself.

The elevator dinged with each floor that you passed, “Ah, well, I hope you were impressed by all the company has to offer,” he said as the doors opened, revealing a sleek black wall with the Cameron Development logo etched in gold. A waterfall cascaded down the marble surface, exuding elegance, “Enjoy your ride down.” 

“B-Bye-” 

Shut up. 

You reached to press the lobby button, watching as his large figure slowly disappeared down a hallway before the doors shut again. 

 There went that small sliver of confidence.

You went down a rabbit hole googling Cameron Development, of course. Rafe Cameron was just shy of thirty but he inherited the company from his father, Ward, when he was only twenty. It went from a company centered to the Outer Banks to one that served clients across the entire country. According to a website you weren’t sure was actually reputable, his networth was close to 1.3 billion dollars. 

And he thought you were an idiot. Most likely, he wouldn’t remember you all. 

You hoped you wouldn’t run into again when you returned to the Cameron Developent the next week. Andy had called you to let you know that you’d been chosen for the job, but when you approached the receptionist on the first floor, she informed you that you should check in with the receptionist on the twentieth floor. 

Was there another portion of the hiring process that involved meeting someone higher up in the company? You asked her if she’d actually meant that floor twice before the woman rolled her eyes and pretended to answer a phone call. 

The twentieth floor. 

You splurged on a new outfit, hopeful that your new job’s salary would soon replenish your funds. You’d be making ten dollars more per hour, after all. You chose a black, square-neck top and soft cream-colored pants, pairing them with your trusty ballet flats that matched almost everything.

When you arrived on the twentieth floor again, you couldn’t shake the feeling that security might escort you out at any moment. Walking past the elegant waterfall, you found the receptionist desk. The redheaded woman behind it was stunning, and though her smile lacked sincerity, at least she looked you directly in the eyes.

“Hi, I’m supposed to meet with Andy Speer in Record Management?” 

“Are you Y/N Y/L/N?” You nodded as you let out a breath. At least you weren’t in the wrong place. 

“Follow me,” she said, stepping out from behind the desk. She was dressed in a sleek, navy dress adorned with gold buttons down the front, tied with a bow at the waist. You couldn’t help but admire her style, your gaze trailing down to her elegant heels. “You’ll be meeting with Mr. Cameron today.”

“Wh-” Your lips paused in an uncomfortable, rounded position before the block in your speech passed, “Why?”

She didn’t respond, and there wasn’t time to press her as she led you to the end of a long hallway. You found yourself in front of two imposing, black double doors. With a push of the large, gold handles, she opened them to reveal the most elaborate room you’d ever seen.

The sheer scale of the room was breathtaking. Your eyes immediately went up to ceilings at least two floors tall and a gigantic window covering the farther wall. You thought Andy’s view was nice … you could see all of Charlotte from this window. Long black curtains hung from the ceiling to keep some of the light out. When the curtains were drawn, the room would undoubtedly take on a different character—moodier, more intimate, and even more private.

To the right, a stunning black marble fireplace dominated the wall, flanked by a bookcase that stretched the entire length of the room. A plush seating area featured leather couches that looked as comfortable as they were luxurious, with a low coffee table in front. Nearby, a polished bar cart stood ready, stocked with an array of crystal glasses and top-shelf spirits. No doubt to impress clients.

“Holy…” You spoke, as smooth as ever. 

To the left was Rafe and his expansive mahogany desk, positioned to take advantage of the view of the city’s infrastructure. His desk was organized with files stacked neatly, a computer with multiple desktops, and a mug that held steaming coffee. Expensive art pieces were framed on the wall behind him, carefully selected to aid the overall aesthetic of the space. They were dark and imposing like him. 

His chair was high-backed and leather, and as you met his eyes, you noticed he was just as tailored as the room. Broad shoulders and lean frame … you wondered how much time he spent carefully crafting it. He set aside the folder he had been reviewing as the redhead, Eleanor, announced your presence.

"Mr. Cameron, your ten o’clock meeting," she said.

“Thank you, Eleanor. That’ll be all,” His voice was smooth and commanding, “Come sit, Ms. Y/L/N.”

He emphasized the leather chairs in front of his desk and although your legs felt like weights, you crossed the room. You couldn’t help but continue to stare at how impressive it was and now that you’d learned more about him through your research, it made sense. What didn't make sense to you was why you were sitting in front of it. 

He leaned forward, his hands folding together, and instinctively you moved further back in your chair, “I got a chance to look at your application and resume.”

Your eyes widened, “Really?”

He nodded, “You never finished college. Why’s that?”

“I…I don’t understand,” You couldn’t hide the confusion on your face, “I didn’t think I-I would b-b-be …I thought Mr. Speer would be here.”

“He works for me, doesn’t he?”

“Y-Yes-” “You want to work for my company, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir,” you repeated, your voice smaller this time. His head tilted slightly, his gaze sharpening.

“Did you forget my original question?”

“N-No,” You blurted before you took a breath. Relax, you told yourself, despite being aware of the environment that Mr. Cameron had already created, “I …I-”

He was patient but unyielding. You tried to imagine that you were just telling a story and not answering a pointed question. He was worth a billion dollars, not you. You had to answer his questions truthfully.

“I had a bad flare-up with my speech during my sophomore year. I …all throughout highschool it was very mild, but for some unknown reason, it got really sss-severe. My professors were … not accommodating. It felt immm-mmm-impossible.”

He stared at you for an uncomfortable amount of seconds. His piercing gaze had a way of making feeling like you were naked. You crossed your arms in front of your chest, “I see,” He tapped his finger against his desk, “It took me almost eight years to finish business school. By the end, my professor’s were only passing me because of who I was.”

Your lips parted in shock at his sudden candor. 

An ugly truth for an ugly truth.

 “Oh,” you whispered, not knowing what else to say. 

“I’m saying this because it doesn’t matter how many boxes check or how good of a person you are. It doesn’t matter to me what you think you deserve.”

“Okay,” You nodded, still unsure, “I don’t think think I deserve this job. But I want it.”

“How bad?” His lips pulled into a smirk. 

You searched your mind for all the rehearsed interview answers that you’d practiced, “I think I’m a really g-good fit for the–”

“No, what would you do?” He interrupted you, not in the way that people usually did because you were taking too long to speak. He was just completely uninterested in the words you had to say, “Let’s say six months from now, you’re up for a promotion and Andy corners you in his office. It’s ten-thousand more a year. Would you fuck him?”

There was a version of you, the rationale un-scared version of you, that would’ve stood up and walked out of the room. But you froze in place as you searched his eyes for whether he was asking you a trick question. 

Breathe in, let it out slowly, “No, I wouldn’t. I don’t understand.”

“If he hired you as a File Clerk, it would be a great way to get promoted,” Rafe said, “I looked at the other applicants, they’re all more qualified, but you’re more beautiful. It’s a pattern I’m starting to notice with him.”

You couldn’t comprehend why he’d brought you here just to tear you down—to belittle someone who would be working for his own company. Shaking your head, you stammered, “I-I made a mmm-mistake,” as you reached for your bag. But Rafe held up a hand, stopping you in your tracks.

“Don’t worry,” He stood up from his chair. You took a breath and swallowed, trying to keep your heart inside your chest. Hands in his pockets, he walked around the length of his desk until he was in front of you. Even as he leaned back on his desk, his presence seemed to cloud all of your senses, “Mr. Speer does want you to work for him in his department and you’re free to do so. However, I want to hire you as my personal assistant.”

“Uhm,” You blinked, caught off guard. “M-Me?”

“I’m between assistants right now and I think you’d be a perfect fit,” His watched your reaction carefully, his lips in a thin smile. 

Rafe Cameron was a complete asshole. 

“You want me to be your personal assistant?” You asked slowly, trying to prevent a stutter. 

“I want you to be my personal assistant,” he echoed, looking amused, “I think you’re cute.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Because I’m a c-college dropout www-with a stutter?” 

“Not just that,” he shrugged, his nonchalance making you want to scowl. You should’ve walked out already, but something kept you rooted to your seat.  “I think it would be mutually beneficial. The pay starts at eighty-thousand.” 

“A year?” You asked, feeling foolish immediately. 

“That’s almost triple what you make at your barista job.”

You eyed him curiously and wondered how exactly he knew that, “Yeah …”

“So, do you want it or not, Ms. Y/L/N?” The words hung in the air, and you couldn’t bring yourself to say "no." What choice did you really have? Work for a boss who might eventually cross the line—or work for one who’s offering to triple your salary?

“I’d love to give you more time to think it over,” he continued, glancing at his watch, “but I have a meeting in five minutes and will be out of the country for the rest of the week. You’ll need to decide now.”

You bit down on your bottom lip and anxiously picked at the fabric of your pants until you said, “Ninety-thousand.”

“You’re negotiating when you have no experience?” He wasn’t angry, just surprised. 

You nodded, although you were afraid you’d made a mistake. Now, you’d be escorted out by security. But you’d seen something in his eyes—something he wasn’t trying to deny. For reasons you couldn’t quite grasp, he wanted you.

“Eighty-five thousand,” he countered.

You paused, “Okay.”

“Okay?” You nodded again. “Great.”

He clapped his hands together, “W-When would I ssss-start?” 

“A week from now. Monday morning at seven. I get in at seven-thirty, and I expect you to be waiting here. Eleanor will work on getting your new wardrobe delivered to you before then.” 

“Wardrobe?” You echoed, bewildered. 

“I would’ve given you a hundred if you kept pushing,” he said, waving you off as he retreated behind his desk. Your jaw dropped as he added, “That’ll be all.”

The doors to his office opened again, and the redhead waited patiently for you to gather your things and hurry over to her. You glanced behind you to see Rafe intently focused on his computer screen. 

When you finally had enough distance from his office, you asked, “What happened to his last personal assistant?” You thought you might hyperventilate when you were finally alone with your thoughts. 

“Mr. Cameron can be difficult to please,” She smiled down at you, but her eyes were solemn, “Let me take your measurements.”

“Oh, I c-could just t-t-t-tell you,” you stammered, trying to get the words out quickly.

“They’ll need to be exact,” You followed her behind the reception desk. 

You looked at her closer—voluminous hair, a sharp jawline, winged eyeliner that executed perfectly. She was tall, slender, and beautiful, and you felt like you were nothing like her. Again, a child in a place meant for adults. He’d chosen someone like Eleanor, that made sense to you, but you couldn’t wrap your mind around what he saw in you.

Cute, he’d said. You always got cute. Never beautiful. Eleanor probably always got called beautiful. 

You stood still as she took your precise measurements, including around your hips, thighs, and bust. It was another moment where you probably should have run. “About this wardrobe I’ll be receiving…” you began cautiously.

“You’ll only wear what he picks out for you,” She said. 

Breathe. “That’s a little crazy, right?”

“Your job will ensure he has everything he needs—every hour of the day. You want to be nice to look at, don’t you?” 

And you don’t look nice to look at right now.

“Will I have a desk?”

Eleanor gestured to the one across from her, the second of two black desks in a square-shaped pod, “That one is yours, technically.”

“Technically?”

“Did he mention he works from home on Fridays?”

“No-”

“You’ll report to his house at seven a.m. on Fridays rather than here.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Eleanor said with a knowing nod. “Don’t worry, I’ll type this all up in an email for you.”

Later, you sat in your apartment's living room, still in your pajamas. Your roommates, Imani and Angel, were at work for the next few hours, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You scrolled through your old laptop, reading the offer letter from Cameron Development three times: eighty-five thousand dollars plus excellent benefits. You hadn’t even been to the doctor in two years because of how expensive and terrible your insurance was.

You could afford your own apartment. You wouldn’t leave your roommates hanging, of course, but maybe you could in a few months. You could get your own cat like you’ve always wanted. That money would change your life. 

Your clothes arrived with a delivery man who was already frustrated with you. He had to make three trips to bring in all the garment bags Rafe had sent. He grew even more frustrated when you begged him to return some of it. They filled your entire living room, and you’d be a horrible roommate to keep all of it. You’d have to throw out all of your clothes to make them fit in your room. 

When the delivery man left, you started to zip the packages open and examine their contents. Your hands shook when you read the first price tag: a twelve-hundred-dollar Giorgio Armani dress. You began to notice a pattern as you looked at thirty different outfits. There were no black dresses or dark colors at all. Many of them were sad excuses for a woman’s professional work clothes. 

You couldn’t deny that the outfits were sophisticated, but they all seemed to follow a particular theme. If one didn’t feature a mini-skirt, it showcased a sleeveless top. Many had a professional air, with neat rows of buttons running down the front or crafted from rich tweed material. Yet, they were also undeniably frilly and elegant, teetering on the edge of overly dainty. You couldn’t shake the feeling that if you wore one, you’d resemble a Barbie doll more than a personal assistant.

Breaking a sweat, you piled all of the garment bags in your room, leaving only a small amount of room for you to walk from your bedroom to the bathroom. That was going to be a problem. Maybe he wouldn’t mind if you returned some of them. How many outfits did you really need for work? 

The man also brought in a trunk—an oversized, luxurious piece you couldn’t dream of fitting into your tiny shoebox of a room. Once you cleared enough space in the living room, you finally managed to open it. Inside, the left side was lined with rows of pristine heels, each pair more exquisite than the last. On the right, several items were wrapped in burlap sacks made from fine material. You carefully unwrapped one that bore the name GUCCI, revealing a small lilac handbag that looked both delicate and expensive.

God, you thought despite the fact you didn’t believe in him. 

Your roommates were going to think you were some kind of sugar baby or escort. Even if you explained what happened, they might still believe that. 

When you checked your laptop again, there was an email from Eleanor. 

Dear Y/N Y/L/N,

Congratulations on your new position at Cameron Development! We are pleased to officially welcome you as Mr. Rafe Cameron's Personal Assistant. 

Below are some key points regarding your new position:

Start Date: Monday, 7:00 AM

Work Location: Cameron Development Headquarters (Mon-Thurs) / Mr. Cameron’s residence (Friday)

Responsibilities: 

You will be expected to manage Mr. Cameron’s daily calendar, remind him of upcoming appointments, and ensure he is well prepared for them. 

You will coordinate all aspects of Mr. Cameron’s travel, including booking flights, accommodations, transportation, and hotels. 

You will complete all of Mr. Cameron's personal errands.

You must maintain strict confidentiality regarding Mr. Cameron’s personal and professional life. 

You will ensure all of Mr. Cameron’s personal needs are met. 

Salary: $85,000

Benefits: Comprehensive health insurance, paid time off, and a company-provided phone and laptop.

Confidentiality: Due to the sensitive nature of your work, a strict non-disclosure agreement (NDA) will be required upon your first day.

A few tips for looking your best: 

Wardrobe: Please adhere to the dress code. Your new wardrobe has been tailored to Mr. Cameron’s preferences. At work, you will not wear dark colors or pants. The items are non-returnable. Always opt for the heels provided. I suggest you practice at home if you’re uncomfortable wearing them. 

Makeup: Your go-to should be a light foundation, a touch of blush, and a subtle lip color. Avoid anything too bold when it comes to eye makeup. 

Hair: A braiding appointment has been arranged for you this upcoming Saturday, fully paid for. Mr. Cameron prefers a more extended length, but you’re free to choose the color as long as it’s natural. 

Remember, the goal is to look effortlessly polished. 

Best regards,

Eleanor Thornton

Executive Assistant to Mr. Cameron

Maybe Rafe Cameron was a sociopath.

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