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ILLICIT AFFAIRS

PAIRING : JIM X FEM!READER ( DELINQUENT SEASON ) 

song : illicit affairs by taylor swift.

WORD COUNT : 8.3K 

SUMMARY : You were friends with Jim but slowly you began to have a crush on him which became more than you could bear as he was already married but that didn’t stop the both of you. 

WARNINGS: SMUT (18+) ! ANGST, JIM BEING SOFT, FINGERING, P IN V, NO PROTECTION, PRAISE KINK, AFFAIR, CURSING.

IT’S HONESTLY NOT THAT BAD. ( STILL HOT THO ) 

♱

You messed up. 

That’s it. You messed up. 

You allowed yourself to be carried away and swept up within the moment that wasn’t even supposed to happen. if it weren’t for the way he was gazing at you with his piercing yet mesmerizing pale blue hues or maybe the way he grazed you with his finger tips that sent small sparks throughout your body then maybe just maybe you wouldn’t have ended up bare in the sheets with the man who was already married..

Married to another woman..  

The worst part out of all of this, is that you knew he was married. The fact that you knew and you allowed it to happen. You have every right to feel revolted with yourself right now. If the universe or god or any great entity that controlled this vast universe it definitely  knows how much you loathe yourself right now. You needed to slow down and think about how this even happened. 

You lived in a Suburban neighborhood–  in Dublin, east coast of Ireland. A single mother with a beautiful nine year old daughter named Mary, a journalist for your own advice column and a part time Pilates trainer at a studio that your sister owned. As far as you knew, your life was normal. Between spending time with your daughter and your jobs, your  schedule flowed perfectly together. You would be able to drop Mary off in the morning for school, teach class later on in the morning  and you would be able to go home during the day to work on your advice column before picking Mary up from school, then the cycle repeats unless otherwise. 

You’ve always been on your own. Having a daughter and two jobs, your love life was a punchline of a lame joke. In case you are wondering about Mary’s father, that’s a whole other story of its own, let’s just say he was completely out of the picture. 

You would be lying if you told someone that it didn’t feel lonely sometimes. It was lonely, it was incredibly lonely; of course you’ve made multiple attempts to at least go out on a few dates and have a nightstand if you were lucky enough but most of the time those don’t even work out. 

And It’s not because you weren’t attractive, no it was quite the opposite. In fact, you were quite beautiful– which was ironic for you because when you were younger your father called you the ugly duckling between you and your sister but then you prospered into a beautiful swan as you grew older. Like any normal person you still have your insecurities (no thanks to dad) yet overall you felt secure with yourself.

Clearly, your beauty wasn't the reason why your love life was shriveling away like a dried up raisin. It was the fact that you were picky, and you knew your heart wouldn’t always be completely in it. You weren’t that kind of person to simply have one night stands– but you admire those who do without forming any kind of connection that wasn’t only based on physical attraction. 

You’ve tried and even though it felt good to have that void in your chest to be filled in that  moment, the lingering feeling of desolation and melancholy always crawls its way back in. It wasn’t good for your mental health  and it wasn’t good for your daughter. So you were only left with your jobs and your delusions of a love life to suddenly appear. But you knew deep down that Mary deserved a good father figure while she’s still young and you shouldn’t put so much hope into your fantasies.  

Mary was a sweet girl, too sweet for her own good– she has a beautiful mix of your features and her father’s. The features that she shared from her father never bothered you either as you knew it wasn’t her fault that she was placed here on this earth because you didn’t wrap it until you tapped it. Of course, you and Mary’s relationship wasn’t always perfect but you wouldn’t have it any other way. You love her regardless– with all of your heart. Mary was the ray of sunshine you had in your life and  you were more than happy to be her mother. 

Knowing how kindhearted and smart your daughter was, she had many friends in her school. Even during teacher and parent conferences you’ve always been told many times how she loved helping the other kids, and the only times she would get in trouble was due to how talkative she was and you didn’t think it was a problem either.

And that’s how you met him. 

It was a gray and cloudy weekday, as you got off the phone with Mary’s teacher claiming that it was after school and Mary was waiting for you. Accidently getting caught up with your advice catalog time went by over your head without even realizing and now your child is sitting in the school alone and you knew she was going to be a little..not little definitely upset with you.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” Curses and all other kinds of profanities spilled from your lips as you frantically slipped on your mini cotton black trench coat. Your foot practically kicked down your front door before running like a trackstar to your car. Fortunately you didn’t live too far from the school and, without getting caught speeding past red lights, you managed to arrive at school where your daughter was currently waiting at. 

Your hasty footsteps echoed throughout the hallways of the school as you moved through with only one destination in mind, which was your child’s classroom. Once you were close to the classroom where Mary was, you halted in your footsteps as you watched Mary leave the classroom with two other kids, a boy and a girl and then a man. A man that you knew well wasn't Mary’s teacher so you assumed that it must be the other children’s father. 

Furrowing your slightly together you couldn’t help but to feel a little confused but relieved that at least you weren’t the only parent that wasn’t perfect. But it also did make you feel a bit skeptical as it is why a random man would be with kids and your only daughter. 

“Mary!” You called out to her, your tone airy yet smooth which caught the attention of your daughter and the man. Immediately,  your mind stopped racing and your heart leaped from your chest as his entrancing stunning ocean eyes met yours. It was as if his eyes had some deep hidden meaning behind them, it almost made you feel a little intimidated– how tired yet pierce his eyes were. His figure was lean but the broadness of his chest also stood out, along with his dark but slightly graying tresses, his sharp jawline, high cheekbones, his plump yet light pink lips, and smooth yet freckled fair skin…

Pretty.. You thought. 

But as quickly as you fell in a captivated daze you quickly pulled yourself out of it the same way, you knew well that you were attracted to this man but considering how he was here and with kids– you can assume he is married or hope he wasn’t a random stranger. 

“Mom!” You hear Mary call out happily as she walks towards you. A wholehearted smile took over your lips as you lovingly gazed down at her, allowing your hand to gently caress her back pulling her to your side. Thank god that she wasn’t upset with you. “I am so sorry, babygirl, I lost track of time.” You said softly as you felt Mary raise her head up to look at you. “It’s okay, I was with them.” she responded looking over at the alluring man and his kids who were in fact walking in your direction. 

With each step he took you could feel your heart pound in your chest as he was now approaching you, his hands stuffed in his dark blue puffy jacket along with his kids who followed behind him and soon had their own conversation with Mary. 

The man only gave you an awkward half smile as his gaze never left your form, you can tell that he was definitely on the reserved side. “Hi, you’re their father?” You asked giving him a little smile in return, then you couldn’t help but to mentally slap yourself a little bit with the question as you noticed in fact the boy and girl that were talking to Mary did in fact look like him. You watched as the man blinked in confusion for a moment, being thrown off by your question– you could feel  the conversation instantly dying before it even started. 

A  dry airy chuckle left your lips as you felt yourself cringe, “I-I’m sorry, stupid question– I was just..” before you could finish your sentence you heard a deep chuckle coming from him stopping you from rambling. “No, No it’s fine.” He says softly, shaking his head for a second with the same ghostly smile. “I get it, I would wonder the same thing  if a random man would be standing with my kids too, it would be really weird..” he paused for a moment before continuing, “I-uh, I was also late picking up my kids so yeah..” He briefly elaborated as you felt yourself relax as another gentle relieved chuckle left your lips, watching him. His voice was smooth and sonorous, it sent unwavering shivers throughout your body. Just by looking at him– he had a lingering forlorn yet cryptic aura surrounding him and it was reeling you in like a moth to a light. You hoped you didn’t look too obvious. 

“I totally get you, I was just caught up with work that I didn’t realize that time flew by, you know?” You smiled warmly and for a moment you thought you saw him falter. 

“I’m Y/N.” 

You watched as his little timid faint grin formed into a genuine smile. It was as if air was caught in your throat, your heart fluttered  at the sight of his smile. You felt proud of yourself that you managed to make him smile.

“Jim..Nice to meet you.” He introduced himself  politely as he extended his hand towards you which you did your best not to look eager to grab and shook his hand in a little handshake. You immediately caught the golden band on his finger indicating he was indeed vowed to someone else. You couldn’t help but not be able to suppress the disappointment that flooded through your body. He had a wife and kids.The forced mentality of  ‘it is what it is’ came into mind. And the attraction you had for Jim will most likely be temporary. 

Unfortunately, the kids manage to break the tension between you, asking if they can walk together. You and Jim didn’t mind as you all walked out of the school together. You managed to hold a longer conversation with him, taking the opportunity to get to know him better. 

Jim was definitely a man with a few words, and was more listening to you than you listening to him but he still present with you in the conversation. You both share a mutual affection for your kids, and you both worked at home– it was nice to share similarities with someone, to you it always made you feel like you were understood better, and you hoped he felt the same way. Although it's not uncommon to understand another parent- but  between you and Jim you both just want to get through the day. 

Luckily, It wasn’t just you that genuinely enjoyed his company as he offered to exchange numbers before parting ways. As this began to possibly be the start of a beautiful friendship for you.

You knew you were going to see him again soon, maybe for the rest of the following week. And you were right, when you picked up Mary on time for the rest of the week you would sometimes see Jim walk out with his kids. You two would exchange waves and polite smiles then carry on. Despite exchanging numbers neither of you made the first move to send a text first. You felt a little disappointed but you knew that maybe it was for the best and you shouldn’t look for some sort of connection that wasn’t there in the first place, let alone a text. 

Jim has a wife. That is that —  you two are also just acquaintances, and your kids are friends. That is all. Yet,  that didn’t stop your thoughts always trailing back to him– and you began to feel a little angry with yourself for it. Were you truly so lonely to be thinking about a man you only had spoken once? 

What is wrong with you?

 Get over this crush already. 

This would go on until the end of the week on a Friday, just as you and your daughter got home from school, a gentle ding emitted from your pocket. Stepping into the house, closing the door behind you, you took out your phone. You didn’t get to see who texted you as you heard Mary’s loud footsteps run off to the kitchen leaving her jacket on the floor along with her book bag.. 

“Mom, I am going to have a cookie!” she said loudly before you could respond you already heard the cabinet shut. Shaking your head you released an exasperated sigh, “Mary, please pick up after yourself! And don’t eat all of them!” You responded raising your voice a little bit while locking the door behind you. 

Another ding went off on your phone once more adding waves to your annoyance. Who was trying to contact you? A gentle frown painted over your lips as your hand reached into the buttpocket of your jeans to grab your phone to see that you got a message from an unknown number. 

Hey, It’s the random man from school.

Kidding, it’s me Jim. 

You felt your heart stop beating in your chest for a split moment as you vacantly stared down at the gray text bubbles that were on your little phone screen. You felt many waves of emotions crash down on you– denial, shock, guilt, and then excitement. Gradually a ghostly smile was painted on your lips replacing the gentle frown that was present a few moments ago, just when you began to accept that nothing was going to happen.

It was funnily convenient. 

You didn’t gloss over the fact that he remembered your conversation when you guys first spoke to each other as you felt your heart skip a beat once more. 

Had he been thinking about you as well? 

You can still be wrong that maybe he just wanted to ask you something about school or your kids and that would still be fine. This was nothing, harmless– this wouldn’t escalate to anything more. Just keep it short and simple. 

After a few minutes of typing and deleting your message multiple times to think how you should respond due to your mixed emotions of anxiety and excitement— you finally responded to him.  

Hi, Jim! Lol. How are you? 

You had no idea that after sending back that one message, you guys would be texting for the rest of that day. 

♱

It is strange how someone can go from being a stranger to a good friend to someone you ended up falling for. You knew it was a bad idea the minute you laid your eyes on him and somehow like a black hole Jim effortlessly sucked you in. Ever since the first text he had sent you, you guys began to talk everyday; through texts, and eventually calls. It only has been a few weeks since you guys first met. 

 You even discovered that he only lived a few blocks away from you which resulted in a lot of Mary having playdates with his daughter. This became a normal thing, almost every Friday Mary would have these playdates. The first time when he was at your house it was a bit awkward since you were used to only talking to him over text or calls but with a cup of coffee you both relaxed and talked how you guys normally do in the dining room while the girls would be hanging out in Mary’s room. 

It also didn’t help how being around his calming presence made you feel so comfortable, made you feel like you could tell him anything and he would just listen to you. 

You often wondered if his wife knew about your friendship with him, or if she even knew about you at all. She probably does since her daughter occasionally hangs out with Mary almost every Friday, you knew you shouldn’t even be thinking about those kinds of things. 

Everything felt good, way too good. And with your luck you knew when things feel way too good, that means things were going to take a painful turn. 

Sitting criss cross on your living room couch alone in the house on a Tuesday afternoon, you were on the phone with Jim. As usual with a dumb happy grin on your face you guys talked and it ended up with him assisting you with your advice column on your laptop. 

“A twenty year old girl in college got heartbroken by her boyfriend she dated since childhood because he cheated on her and she wants to go back and talk to him but she knows it’s wrong. What should she do?” You asked as the grin never wavered from your lips. 

“Maybe go to more parties and get wasted and she’ll find another guy by the end of the second semester?” You jokingly snickered as you leaned back against the couch, your muscles easing into the cushions. Hearing Jim’s light chuckle on the other line of the phone. 

“God no. What kind of fucking advice is that?” Jim asked playfully, still chuckling softly, you could feel your heart flutter at the sound that came from him.

“Okay, Okay, fine– I am not going to say that. But she is only twenty and she has so many other things to worry about other than a boy. Like her possible career and her friends and her future! And she should try and focus on that instead.” You exclaimed. 

“That is much better. Way better than the last answer.” Jim responded, causing you to laugh softly, shaking your head slightly as your gaze stared down at your laptop, your fingers gently pressing on the letters on your keyboard, typing up your answer. 

“Alright done, give this a listen.” 

“Shoot.” 

You cleared your throat a little bit as you began to read. “You lost someone important to you, and how you feel is completely valid. But you have to feel your feelings out, and try to focus on what’s really important. Such as yourself, your career, and future– going back to him won’t change what happened. Remember that you have friends and family to support you. And that you’re not alone in this. All you can do is try to take care of yourself.”

Jim was silent, as you finished reading which caused you to fiddle in your seat a little. 

“Thoughts?” You asked wondering what he was thinking. 

“That was good, pretty good.” He responded nonchalantly, almost being blunt which caused you to worry a little bit, your grin faltering slightly. 

“Is that all? Should I add more? It sounds like you don’t like it.” You asked reluctantly. 

Jim was quick to encounter your statement. “No,no,no! I do. I really do like it. It’s really sweet of you, It’s lovely, you’re lovely.” 

You could feel the blood rushing up into your cheeks, turning into a harsh crimson hue. Who knew a  simple compliment could make you feel so smitten? Silence hovered over the two of you for a moment until Jim was the first one to break it. 

“Y/N?” He called out to you softly pulling you out from your daze. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go silent on you.” You chuckled nervously. It was just his last comment.

“No it’s fine..” He paused for a moment. “I don’t know what has come over me.” Jim said softly back to his timid tone. This only made your heart race once more as you sighed softly. 

“I appreciate it, thank you for being my assistant.” You did your best to save this conversation from turning tense. And it felt like it didn’t make the slightest difference. 

“I mean it, you know?” 

You paused once more the burning sensation in your cheeks didn’t change. Now intently listening to him as you can hear him about to say more. 

“You really are lovely, Y/N..I mean it.” 

There it was…That tension again, the suffocating tension that made you feel like you were drowning. And within that moment, like a wave crashing and meeting the ocean shore,  you knew that you were falling hard for him, wiping the grin that was on your lips away. 

 Then the golden band on his finger flashed in your mind. 

No, you can’t do this. 

“Jim, what do you mean by that?” You asked him hesitantly yet firmly as you removed your laptop from your grasp before grabbing your phone, taking it off of the speaker and pressing it against your ear. 

“What do you mean by what I mean?” He asked, sounding a bit taken back by your sudden question. “Did I say something wrong?” 

“No, I was just…I don’t know how to explain it but that felt like more than a compliment.” You stated as you paused once more, were you overthinking this? You were about to open your mouth to cut the silence but then Jim interrupted you. 

“Because it was more than a compliment.” 

In that moment, It was as if something took over your body and possessed you, this confession spilled from your lips like vomit.

 “Jim, I think I am falling for you.” You breathed out.  

Then a tense silence completely consumed the both of you. 

Oh fuck, did I really say that!? You mentally wanted to slam your face against the table. Fuck, you had to fix this quick. No, there was no way of fixing this now, you fucking blew it. 

“Jim, I'm sorry. You’re married and I shouldn’t have said that. Fuck, I am an idiot, I am so so sorry.” You began to ramble, not letting Jim be able to interrupt you. “Y/N wait, wait-” but you weren’t listening as your thumb slammed on the red at the bottom of your screen ending the call. 

This was a long awaited painful turn that you’ve brought on yourself. Now all that was left was you and your panicked and raging thoughts. You clearly took it too far, getting caught up in the moment that it left you feeling like an idiot.

♱

 It was your day off today from the Pilates studio and you didn’t have to do much for your advice column. So for the rest of that morning you took the time to clean up the house. Mary was in school so it was just you alone at home– singing softly to yourself as you were finishing up with doing laundry. Neatly folding what was last of the laundry in your basket, feeling the warmth of the fresh cotton fabric between your fingers before placing it with the other piles of clothes on your bed. 

It has been two days since your confession with Jim. You did what was best for you, and you began ignoring his texts and dodged his calls. This was morally wrong and you didn’t want to embarrass yourself even more.

“And you know damn well..For you, I would ruin myself, A million little times..”

You sang softly as the tender melody came to an end on your phone dying down, you would glance at your phone a few times that was sitting on your nightstand, in hopes you would catch your phone displaying Jim’s name across the screen but to your disappointment it didn’t, why would it? So you can ignore it more or have a war with yourself whether you should drop the silent treatment or not?  No. At this point you would understand why he would give up. 

A gentle sigh leaving your lips as your mind begins to aimlessly wander about your conflicted feelings. You want to believe that it would remain as a friendship but you knew damn well that slowly this entire time it turned more than a friendship to you. Feelings were completely one sided, he was married and he was only being kind to you because both of your daughters are friends. You were scared that harboring these feelings would become so heavy that eventually it’ll crush you and it did. You were playing with fire and you got burned.

Just as the next song on your phone began to play, a loud knock on your front door echoed throughout the house shaking you out of your thoughts. Feeling your brows knit together you walked out of your room heading towards the front door.

 Who could that be?

 You wondered as your hand gently grasped the doorknob pulling it open to reveal Jim gazing at you with a bit of desperate yet defeated expression with his phone in hand. 

It was like you were faced with a jumpscare as you felt your eyes widen and without thinking you tried to close the door on Jim but he was too quick as he managed to slip his shoe between the door leaving it ajar. “Y-Y/N, please can we talk? Please just for a second.” He said in a deep raspy tone. His voice crack manages to burn itself into your mind. 

You stood still for a moment before opening the door more widely for him to step into your house, now alone just between you and the married man you had fallen for. You took a few steps back away from him with your arms folded over your chest, your gaze not leaving his form. Once he was inside the house he closed the door behind him– “You didn’t think of picking up your phone when I called you? Or my texts?” He asked, sounding a bit tired as his piercing yet stunning ripples of ocean blue gaze bore into yours, spawning goosebumps on your skin. 

“How could I after that? So I can embarrass myself some more?” You asked with sarcasm evidently dripping from your tone as you watched Jim roll his eyes a little at your remark. “I am serious, Y/N.” He said, sounding a little more soft as he took a step towards you. 

“So am I, Jim. You’re my friend, I was stupid, I shouldn’t have said what I said, you’re married and–” You weren’t sure how much your heart could take at this moment. It was hammering so hard that it felt like it was building something, along with the backflips your stomach was doing it was becoming agonizing. 

You could feel his warmth from where you were standing as you broke away from his gaze as you turned your head away from him but only for Jim to gingerly cup your cheek turning your face back to look at him immediately putting an end to your rambles. “Hang on a second, hang on a second Y/N..” Jim said his tone was still soft, as he looked down at you his lips curled slightly down forming a frown his eyebrows knitted slightly together causing a little wrinkles to form between them. His touch was so warm you did your best not to melt into him. 

“This is so fucking mortifying Jim, you shouldn’t even be here.” You could feel your throat go dry as your eyes became misty, placing your hand over his shoulder weakly attempting to push him away but he stayed still in his spot. “Listen to me, please.” You kept your gaze down refusing to meet his gaze.

 “You’re not an idiot for telling me how you felt that day alright? Don’t think that I haven’t thought of you the same way. I have. If I didn't, I wouldn’t have told you that a compliment was meant to be more.” Jim exclaimed quietly a gentle airy dry chuckle leaving his lips as his thumb gently caressed your cheekbone. You only shook your head as you used your freehand to gently pull his hand away from your cheek and it only resulted in him intertwining your fingers together. 

“You’re lying.You were just being polite.” You said your breathing became uneven, clenching your jaw slightly– you didn’t realize how you were shaking in his grasp. Jim only continued to keep you close and you couldn’t find yourself pulling away from him, your hand still in his. 

This was happening, really happening. 

“I-I, Why would I lie to you about that?” He asked in a genuine yearning tone. “Because you feel bad for me. I am a single mother alone here with no one to talk to of course you would.” You snapped suddenly feeling a little aggressive but Jim didn’t seem fazed by it. 

“That isn’t true at all, Y/N. Not even close.” You can detect the hurt and how despondent he felt in his voice, the need to prove himself to you. You remained silent as you continued averting your gaze from his and he seemed to notice it as he called out to you once more. 

“Look at me..” 

You closed your eyes for a moment, keeping your chin faintly down completely avoiding his gaze, as you knew if you looked at him you would completely succumb to him. 

“Y/N… Look at me.”  He softly implored once more. 

After a few moments, you sighed quietly and you finally complied, opening your eyes looking back up at him as he gazed down at you with a gentle expression. It was like he knew how fragile you felt in this moment. You watched at how his eyes flickered at your features to your eyes then back to your lips, causing your features to soften. 

Both of you remained silent as he gently squeezed your hand before releasing your hand, attentively, he placed your palm against his chest. You can feel his heart beating rapidly against your palm, like his heart was trying to burst free from his chest cavity. “Feel that?” Jim breathed out as he gazed down at you, keeping your palm firmly against his chest. “My heart is beating out of my chest, Y/N.. Can you feel how fast it’s going?” He asked, a bit breathless with a faint smile. 

You didn’t realize how close you two were as your faces were inches from each other, breath gently fanning against your lips–the tip of his nose gently grazing yours. “Yeah..” You only murmured now a little airy laugh slipped from your lips at how this felt like you were in a scene of a movie, but it wasn’t this was in fact real as your forehead lightly rested against his. 

Jim wasn’t lying as you could literally feel how anxious he was in your palm. His heart beating against your hand, you knew you weren’t just feeling how nervous he was. You were feeling how much he cared about you. 

How his heart was beating for you…

Feeling his dark tresses brush against your forehead, you released an inaudible shaky exhale. Your fingers curling up now grasping his shirt, his lips gently brushing against yours sending sparks throughout your being. This was all becoming too much, as it felt like Jim read your mind. “Fuck it..” He whispered as he closed the distance between you, eagerly capturing your lips with his as his fingers now rested on the side of your head keeping you still. 

That’s right.. Fuck it.

You could feel your heated skin crawl by how powerful the emotion behind his kisses. His kisses fill you with nothing but thoughts of him, you didn’t hesitate to return his kisses matching his passion. He was invading your mind, body and soul– you desperately pulled him closer. Wanting him to take everything you have, wanting his thoughts to be filled with you too as your lips moved languidly together with fervor. 

A gentle gasp left your lips as you felt his tongue swipe at your bottom lip before slipping into your mouth tasting you. A deep groan erupted from his mouth, god you loved his groans, he wanted you and he wanted to let you know that he did. The way his lips moved with yours, the sound of your breaths swallowing each other’s as your hands explored each other’s bodies leaving a firework like sensation through your clothed skin. 

It left you ravenous for more. 

“Jump..” Jim whispered against your lips, you immediately obeyed as you jumped, and instantly you felt his hands catch you. Your legs draped around his waist as his hands were under your thighs keeping you still now walking you to your room impressively without breaking the feverish kisses, tongues tangled, and hands squeezing and gripping each other. 

Jim effortlessly shoved away your neatly folded laundry off the bed before gently placing you on the mattress. Everything seemed to fade into a beautiful blur as you felt your back melt into the mattress, his body hovering over yours, as nothing else seemed to matter anymore. What only mattered was you and Jim in this moment, exploring these intense emotions that you both held for each other. Keeping your legs around his torso, diminishing the space between you two, you felt his restrained erection from his jeans as he gently grinded his hips against yours causing a moan to escape from your small frame but only to be muffled by his soft lips that were against yours. 

There was no stopping now, as you could feel the warm dampness pool in your underwear– your bodies molding together like colors on a canvas. Your hands slipped underneath his shirt feeling the movement of his back muscles moving beneath your touch. Jim then pulled away from the kiss now sitting up causing you to grunt quietly out of disapprovement wanting him to come back as he quickly discarded his ebony quarter sleeve top revealing his chest. With half lidded dazed eyes you watched as he gazed down at you with his sharp sunken ocean blue optics that were clouded with nothing but desire for you. 

Both of you were breathing heavily, aching to taste each other’s lips once more. “May I?” He asked softly as his fingers gently fiddled with the hem of your shirt. You nodded your head giving him consent to remove your white oversized t-shirt. You knew you weren’t wearing a bra underneath your shirt. You were at home, so why would you wear one? 

He swiftly removed your top, revealing your breasts– the cool air nipped at your heated skin feeling your nipples turn hard from the little breeze. In a pleasurable haze you continued to watch the way his lashes fluttered against his freckled cheeks as your heaving bosom was now exposed for him to take in. His gazed burned into your skin causing you to shiver once more, watching his lust filled eyes rake down from your exposed neck to your torso. You felt so bare in front of him, it was as if your skin was translucent and he could see right through you. 

Reading your thoughts, your emotions, your heart– it made you flushed. That was another thing you adore about him, how blue his eyes were and how a simple glance from him can make you shiver. Jim then leaned back down over you but this time you felt his fingertips delicately trace your body feeling every contour of your skin,  trailing his fingertips from your abdomen to the valley of your chest to your cheek, while he was using his other arm to hold himself over you so he wouldn’t crush you completely with his weight. 

You sucked in a sharp inhale as you felt his face lean in towards you nuzzling his nose in the nape of your neck before pressing featherlike kisses on your neck. Your eyes fluttered to a close tilting your head more to the side giving him more access to your neck, your cheek resting against his palm.  Jim didn’t hesitate to nibble and kiss as much of your skin as possible leaving you breathless.

You were aching so bad for him that it began to hurt. You could feel his lips at one spot before going to another and next thing you know he was everywhere, just worshiping you with his lips. His lips trailing down to your body, going from your neck, collarbone, then to your heaving breast. “You’re so beautiful..” Jim whispered as he kissed the center of your chest where your heartbeat was. His praise causes your pussy to clench at nothing but air.

“Jim..” You whimpered out softly as you needed him. “I got you, sweetheart. Just let me enjoy this.” He murmured as he then lowered his mouth to your breasts and glided his tongue across your nipple, earning a moan out of you as he covered your right breast with his mouth completely. While his other hand slipped past the waistband of your pajama shorts, into your underwear. You gasped softly at the cool sensation of his fingers feeling the slit of your wet folds. “You’re so wet, for me Y/N...” Jim chuckled quietly before moving his mouth to tend your other breast giving it the same attention. 

Patience was treading on thin ice with you, and you knew Jim was teasing you. And you damn well knew that he wasn’t lying either. Your underwear was beyond saving considering how aroused you were, seriously you swore you felt your arousal drip between your inner thighs until you felt Jim’s middle finger flick against your throbbing nub between your legs causing your body to jolt with a moan spilling from your lips. 

Jim took notice as he continued circling your clit with his finger feeling up your juices before slipping in his middle finger into your pussy with a gentle squelch noise. “Fuck Jim!” You whined softly in ecstasy feeling your head fall back deeper against the pillow your eyes still clamped shut as Jim pumped his finger in and out of you in a slow pace before building speed, his middle finger curling up inside of you hitting your g spot within your warm tight wet walls. 

You felt Jim pull away from your breasts before pressing his lips back onto yours muffling your moans as his tongue slipped back into your mouth mingling with yours, he then added another finger stretching you out once more causing you to whimper against his lips, as he fucked you fast and hard with his fingers despite the little room he had in your shorts and underwear.

Clearly he was preparing you and this was the only start of what was going to happen. With so much pleasure you were desperate to hold onto something, as your hands found his shoulders gripping him for dear life, the knot in your tummy beginning growing tighter, your folds fluttering shut against his fingers.

God, you have forgotten how good it felt to be touched like this, to have someone’s undivided attention on you and your pleasure alone. As the only times you had sex they would either finish too fast and leave you unsatisfied or they would make you focus on them. Not Jim, he wanted to infiltrate your thoughts with his touch, his lips– everything he possibly could and you were letting him. 

Jim then pulled his fingers out of you, quickly slipping off your shorts and underwear down to your ankles and you kicked them to the side before Jim reattached his coated fingertips to your clit. Swiping his fingers against your anching nub once more, he pulled away from your lips as you both breathed heavily in unison. You could feel your mind submerge into a euphoric haze feeling your climax creeping up on you. “You have no fucking idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this with you, sweetheart.” He whispered into your ear before nibbling your earlobe causing you to gasp softly. “M-Me too Jim..” You breathed out shuddering against his body feeling each rub from his finger sent more intense ripples of pleasure to your stomach. 

Jim then sank his fingers back into you to the knuckle curling them immaculately against your g spot once more with precision. And just like that you felt the knot become undone in your stomach as immense waves of pleasure your orgasm ripped through you sending you over to the edge. Loud mewls escaped your lips as Jim stilled his fingers inside of you, feeling your throbbing walls clamp down on his fingers. 

You both laid there breathless for a moment as Jim pressed gentle kisses around your face while you were coming down from your high. “You okay?” He asked you softly as he placed a gentle kiss on your neck pulling his fingers out from you causing you to whimper quietly from the loss of his fingers. Weakly, you nodded your head slowly catching your breath, “Jim, I want you..” you said in an airy tone as your hand reached down to his erection that was bulging from his jeans, your fingers tracing the outline evicting a sharp inhale from him.

Jim immediately obliged as he helped you pull down his pants along with his boxers allowing his cock sprung free from it’s restraints making him sigh out of relief. You couldn’t help to drool slightly at the sight of his length– how long and thick it was as it hung from his body. You weren’t sure if you wanted to taste him or have him inside of you- either way both of those thoughts were making you ache heavily with desire. 

Jesus, his wife really did hit the jackpot with this man. 

A shaky exhale left your lips as Jim gently caressed your cheek with his thumb before gently pushing you back against the mattress, his eyes fixated on you. He rose on his knees as you were now able to take in the sight of his exposed body– now his firm erection only a few inches away from your dripping entrance. “Open up your legs for me, darling.” He demanded softly with his large hands pushing your legs apart gently. His voice was deep and breathless that sent another wave of shivers throughout your body. 

Fuck, these pet names he was calling you — were going to kill you. 

Without hesitation you spread your thighs wider for him, now being completely bare and open to him. “Good girl..” Jim praised with a little smirk tugging on his lips, causing your heart to flutter. 

You were holding in your breath as you watched his hips with one gentle fluid motion he thrusted into you making you cry out loudly, your walls stretching with an intense pressure slowly filling you up only halfway in. “Are you alright? Do you want to stop?” He asked with concern as he gazed down at you; his dark graying tresses disheveled, his large hands holding your thighs keeping you still. He was so kind, it was making you melt beneath him. “I-I’m okay, keep going.” You whispered as you began to grip his shoulders once more, your nails sinking into his skin . 

“That’s my girl..” Jim praised once more as he leaned down to kiss your forehead. He was so hot, you never would even think Jim would have this side of him. He then shifted his knees before thrusting into you completely, his cock deeply sheathed into you. Your mouth fell open as a loud moan spilled from your lips, your eyes clamped shut once more– god, you felt so impossibly full.  Jim completely invades you as your bodies are finally connected in the best way. Your thighs squeezed against his waist but he only pushed them apart tenderly. “Ah, F-Fuck..” He groaned out shakily, as he admired the way his cock completely vanished inside of you before closing his eyes allowing his head to fall forward slightly. 

You opened your eyes as you breathed heavily, adjusting to his size– his moans making you clench around causing him to gasp. Your desire growing insatiably stronger, you rolled your hips against his desperately pulling a loud moan out of you as you felt the head of his penis kiss your cervix. A deep grunt left his lips as he leaned down towards you releasing your thighs– his chest now pressed against yours as both of his elbows were resting on either sides of your head. 

Immediately he began thrusting into you with a slow moderate pace as your body moved up and down slightly with a string of moans spilling from your lips– pleasure completely consuming your body. Jim released a breath as he managed to grab both of your hands intertwining your fingers together pinning them next to your head as his hips slammed against yours. 

You turned your head away as you whimpered loudly at how he continued hitting your cervix with perfect precision, “Y/N… Keep your eyes on me.” Jim demanded his voice dark and low. Your body shuddered as you obliged, turning your head to look at him to find him already gazing at you with half lidded eyes that were nothing but filled with affection and lust. 

Both of your gazes burned into each other as his thrusts became more relentless, making you feel like you were on cloud nine of pleasure and ecstasy. Jim groaned as he felt your walls clamp around him tight not wanting to let him go– nevertheless he didn’t ease his hard and fast pace. All that was heard in your bedroom was the sound of wet bodies clashing together, as his cock brushed against your clit causing you to arch your back, your chest melting into his, your hands squeezing his. “S-Shit, you feel so good, Jim..” You mewled as your bodies continued moving together in sync. 

The friction between you made you burn with desire. “You feel even better, Y-Y/N..Fuck..” He gasped out as his face scrunched up slightly at how tight you were, his mouth hanging slightly open as heavy breaths escaped his parted lips as he aimed to make you come first. You could feel yourself slipping, getting lost in Jim, truly no other thoughts that weren’t anything else but him.

 You then wrapped your legs around his hips causing him to sink deeper into you making you both moan out loud in unison, the familiar coil in your stomach began to form knowing you were about to reach your climax for the second time as your heavy breathing began to become unsteady.

Jim then pressed his lips against yours in an eager open mouthed kiss, like he knew you were close and he continued plunging himself deeply into you as he was getting close to his own climax as well.  

“I-I’m close..” You breathlessly stammered against his lips as his teeth sank down at your bottom lip before pulling away and releasing it. “Come for me, sweetheart.” Jim whispered as he watched you tremble against his body squeezing his hands tightly as your body was pressed deeper into the mattress. You then cried out as your body arched against him, you felt the knot in your stomach finally snap as your climax washed over you with the familiar waves of pleasure.

Frail moans left your lips as Jim quickened his pace as he used your limp body to chase his climax before releasing a loud groan, his hips stuttering slightly before being buried deep inside of you as he ejaculated his semen, staining your walls.

Jim stayed still for a second  trying to catch his breath before slowly pulling out of you causing you to whimper softly as he collapsed on top of you, his head resting against your chest, both of your naked bodies lightly coated with sweat. Your head was spinning, your mind completely lost in a fog as you both basked in the afterglow of this moment. 

Once your breathing became steady again as you slowly came down from your high you felt Jim roll off of you as he laid next to you leaving you still laying on your back as you two went silent.

Even the silence felt so loud.

He then pulled the comforters over your naked bodies as he laid on his side facing you. You could feel his gaze burn into the side of your face as you kept your eyes on the ceiling finally processing what just happened. 

“Hey..” Jim called out to you quietly as he scooted closer to you draping his lightly freckled arm around your body pulling you close as you turned to face him on your side, you can tell that he hated when things go quiet like this.

Your little panic gaze burned into his, and he already knew how you were feeling. “Y/N..Talk to me.” Jim begged as he gently cradled your cheek with his palm which you instinctively melted into.

You sighed deeply into his touch, your mind unsure if having sex even fixed anything between you two, if anything it added more fuel to the fire of your problems. 

And this is where you knew that you messed up..

Big time. 

***

PART 2 COMING SOON ;)

I hope you guys enjoyed it ! First one shot for this page. And honestly this is the first smut I’ve ever written so I hope I did Jim Justice but bro was so romantic. I apologize for any grammar error or anything that looks weird- But anyways, thank you guys for reading! ♡

i’m so excited for this story!!!

partners in crime - pt. one - forbidden fruit

↳PAIRING: detective!rafe cameron x partner!reader

↳SUMMARY: you and your partner rafe investigate a string of sexually based homicides in the city. will the pressure become too much or will you finally tell each other how you really feel?

↳ [1k] WARNINGS: 18+: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! NO SERIOUSLY, ILL BLOCK YOU! mature themes, sex in a car, cum play, violence, hurt/comfort, cocky asshole rafe, cop lingo, cop! rafe - yes he's a warning and a menace and extremely talented with his tongue, mentions of gun violence and sex crimes (they're in the SVU baby - olivia benson is quaking) etc.

↳A/N: this is a repost from my old blog @tee-swizzle. all of my works are being reposted to this one + the previous blog has been deactivated. moodboard by: @wildflwrdarlin. also, please let me know if you'd like to be tagged in this series!

It started with the tiniest seed of frustration. Religious people always talk about how a mustard seed of faith is enough to get you through anything. Rafe was one of those people, it was his mantra and though you didn’t believe what he did, you trusted that he believed it for a reason. That tiny mustard seed of faith had gotten him through his days as a marine and back home safely. You were thankful for that. It was something he didn’t talk about often, but you knew he counted it all to God that he made it. As mustard seeds come, you’d never seen one, but you understood the metaphor behind them, that the smallest ounce of faith could get you through, that you just had to believe. But, you never thought that mustard seeds came in other forms, forms like anger and resentment and frustration. That’s what you and Rafe had discovered the hard way. The current moment you sat in now was proof of such a thing. This – this mustard seed of frustration had started everything, had destroyed everything and it started with a serial rapist in Brooklyn. The truth was Rafe saw his baby sisters in every victim, he even saw you in some of them too and when a criminal had the audacity to slip through his fingers, he simply couldn’t function. That’s how you found yourself admiring his facial features on a random Tuesday night as you sat across from him and he spoke into a voice recorder, detailing the harrowing events of the body you’d found in central park mere hours prior. You watch him intently, the dim of his desk lamp illuminating the strong features of his jaw as he spoke. He was breathtaking and beautiful, you’d give him that. You loved him – you’d give him that, too.

“This is officer Rafe Cameron, badge number 3976210, reporting on incident 17100059SVU. Reporting officers 1 & 2 of the special victims unit made the scene at Central Park – West located at 8th avenue and met sergeant Ted Baker of the homicide division. Sergeant Baker stated that he had a homicide victim and had requested photographs to be taken of the body and for complete evidence collection. The victim was identified as twenty-two year old Cassie Posey. Upon evidence collection, a small bag of a white powder, later identified as cocaine, was found inside her front right pocket. She was found laying on her back, arms at her sides, with only a bra covering a body, suggesting sexual assault. Shell casings from the gun were found parallel to the body. New York police and EMS were dispatched to the scene and transported her body to the medical examiner’s office.” 

He pressed stop on the small recorder that sat on his desk and his blue eyes darted to you, bringing his dog tags up to his mouth yet again. The dog tags had become the center of your universe. His dog tags – one of the many things you had etched in your brain that identified him. You had watched them drape from his neck, dangling as you captured an assailant, watched them sit between his teeth as he gritted them in concentration; just as he was now, the only thing grounding him as he worked hours going over evidence, wanting nothing more than to catch the bad guy. It was so deeply ingrained in him from his days as a marine. 

“What are you looking at?” 

You’re brought out of your thoughts as Rafe’s sweet-like-honey tone infiltrates your ears. 

“What?” 

You questioned, feigning ignorance to what he said. You’d heard him, even though you were hyper fixated on the way his bicep was contracting as he moved toward you. Nope – you’d heard him, loud and clear. You just didn’t have the balls to tell him you were counting the colors in his eyes and admiring every muscle group that showed prominence from underneath his tan skin. 

“What are you looking at?” 

He probed you again, this time like you were a perp in his line of questioning. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and you grinned like a child, ear to ear. Your eyes met his and he leaned forward even further, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ears. Blush rose to your cheeks. Suddenly – the years of fawning over him had come to a head and you couldn’t breathe. So, you followed your instincts, moving your eyes to your comfort item; his dog tags and you grabbed them. He looked down and smiled. 

“You like those?” 

He asked and you nodded, studying them once more before his large hand wrapped around yours stopping you in your tracks. Your eyes flicked to his and he closed in on you, your noses brushing against each other. You froze – all of your wants and desires coming to fruition as his plump pink lips met yours in an unforeseen kiss. You melted into the velvet of him. Your eyes remained closed as you pulled from the kiss and as they opened you focused on the dog tags again. The rest of it seemed to be a blur until you were looking up at him from where you laid in the backseat of your squad car. You’d seen the dog tags in every situation imaginable, but you had never seen them dangling above your face – you’d never seen them against his bare chest, the moonlight dancing across the shadows of his body moving against yours. It started in mere frustration – the act of your lips meeting his. They were soft and tender, just as you had always imagined they’d be and yes – you’d imagined, because quite frankly every woman that came into contact with him had. He was beautiful in an effortless, star striking kind of way. You had managed to acknowledge the fact that he was breathtaking without acting on it for so long that this – him inside you – was like a fever dream. He had laid you down in the back of your patrol car, his rough hands, imprints his gun had left in his fingertips tracing your breasts as he kissed you again. Whispers of “are you sure” and “never have we ever before” spoken between you as his blue eyes filled with lust and your pussy was filled to the brim with him. 

Fuck – what were you supposed to do now?

I LITERALLY SCREAMED AND CREAMED READING THIS

drew smut based on the song stargirl interlude where the lyric says

“I had a vision. A vision of my nails in the kitchen. Scratching counter tops, I was screaming. My back arched like a cat. My position couldn't stop, you were hitting it. And I shouldn't cry, but I love it, star boy”

Stargirl interlude (r66dus’ version)

Drew Starkey x fem reader smut

Masterlist

A/n: there’s another version of a standing smut like this but I’m scared to actually write it and post it cause it might get dirtyyyyyyy yet loving?😟

Warnings: protected p in v, profanities, pet names, praise and 💦

Word count: 2k

Drew filming in Italy during the spring, had been a blessing for the both of you as a couple, since you got to vacation before you were due to start filming Season 3 of Outer Banks while your boyfriend got to be Daniel Craig’s costar. As great as it had been, it was quite lonely during the day when Drew was working but he made sure to make every night special. Tonight that included a romantic dinner at a nice little restaurant while wearing a black silk yet casual mid-length dress he bought for you, no fans spotted the two of you so it had been perfect to say the least and as you both glanced lustfully to the other, you knew that the night had just begun. 

You entered the apartment that had been given to him, barefoot while he carried your heels which he quickly abandoned at the door after closing it. You were both a little wine drunk, eyes fully clouded by desire as you turned to look at him. Drew approached you, hands on your hips and lips on your neck as he walked you back to the kitchen island until you hit a barstool making you both chuckle drunkenly before he moved it aside, the small of your back hit now the edge of the kitchen island while his body caged you against it. He kissed your lips messily and bit them to make you succumb to him, your sheer lipstick now long gone and forgotten as your hands roamed aimlessly over his broad back but his, knew well where they were meant to be.

His right hand slid over the swell of your ass to reach your thigh, bringing your left leg to his waist. Once there, his fingers carefully slid under your dress and slowly but surely neared the place where you needed him most, such an awaited moment that felt like torture yet your body was willing to suffer the heat of his touch, your heart pounded loudly against his chest and just when you thought the torture would end, a phone rang.

He groaned “Just ignore it” 

His lips now marked your neck while his thumb soothed some of the ache at the apex of your inner thighs, heat radiating off of it, a fire hard to ignore. Your fingertips ran through his hair as you kissed drunkenly and messily, your hearts pounding so fast that their sound almost drowned the incessant ringing of a phone that you ignored for as long as you could until you forcefully parted from each other, somehow knowing that it wouldn’t stop anytime soon although actually stepping away from the position you were in felt impossible. You rested your head on his shoulder as you huffed. Drew slowly and sadly tapped the outside of your thigh, silently telling you to lower your leg and causing you to groan, almost as if you had been seconds away from touching the stars.

“Is it mine?” you asked.

“It could be mine, though. They told me I might get a call but it's almost 11pm” he explained as he looked for his phone on every surface he passed by upon entry, a phone he soon enough found and showed you from afar, confirming that it wasn’t his that was ringing. Sighing, you walked to your discarded purse and pulled out your phone.

“It’s JD” you said before accepting the call “Hello?”

“Oh, thank god you answered!” he exclaimed over the phone. You then settled against the kitchen island, forearms on the counter and phone on it, on speaker.

“What’s going on JD?” you asked tiredly as Drew came up to stand behind you to listen in on the conversation or perhaps to cause it to end as soon as possible. You could feel his body heat just behind you, he stood tall, possessively, with hands on either side of you caging you in. 

“Are you okay? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day! And don’t even get me started with Drew— would you check if he actually knows how to work his phone, reply to texts and actually press send?” he expressed, clear stress could be heard in his voice.

You chuckled “He can hear you”

“Good”

“Hey JD. What’s going on, man?” Drew replied.

“Long story short, we were at dinner last night, there was an argument between Elaine, Moriah, Rudy and Madison and they’ve unfollowed each other on social media and I don’t know what to do! It would’ve been great for Y/n to be here to talk some sense into all of them”

JD waited as the line went completely silent on your end, you began getting lost in the way Drew’s lips kissed your neck and how his hands pulled you back towards him, your breathing hitching at every touch of his hands over your burning and over-sensitive skin as he breathed in your smell, his nose tickling your exposed neck while you bit your lower lip, trying hard not to make a sound when your body begged you to vocalize the pleasure.

“Y/n, you there?” JD called into the quietness.

Your eyes snapped open at the sudden sound “Yeah, yup! Mhm, I’m here. I hear you”

“This European connection is not doing it for me” he complained while going on a rant explaining a bit more what had happened at the dinner yet you heard nothing, just an echo of deafening silence that your heavy and shallow breathing overpowered greatly. Drew’s steady hands traced the bare and soft skin of your thigh, riding up your dress until he successfully hooked one finger on your underwear and pulled it down until it reached your feet. You stepped out of it all while his other hand hooked another finger on one strap of your dress and pulled it off your shoulder slightly, pressing a kiss there.

The hand under your dress neared your core dangerously, causing you to arch your back until your ass met his front, he groaned, your breathing yet quiet, accelerated in anticipation.

“So, can you please!” JD begged “talk to at least Madison and Rudy?” And waited cluelessly as the line went dead silent again.

“What was he talking about?” Drew whispered in your ear.

“I don’t know. I thought you were listening”

“I thought you were!”

“With your hand down there?” you questioned as if the distraction wasn’t obvious enough “Shit–” You hesitated in your speech, whether it was from the wine or from the current scene, something needed to be said “Uh, JD? To be completely honest, i’m slightly wine drunk right now and i can’t really think”

“Or stand straight” Drew teased, a confession that sounded innocent enough over the phone and across oceans.

He cursed “Oh shit, i forgot about the time difference”

“Yeah uh, i’ll call them once i can form coherent thoughts and i'll let you know how that went”

“That’d be awesome, thank y–”

“Okay, bye!” you interrupted, quickly ending the call.

“Do you want to go to the bedroom?” Drew asked, his lips ghosting over your ear again.

“No just…just touch me before my knees give out” you breathed as you looked inside your purse for a condom while he unbuckled his pants. You handed him the condom and waited as he pumped himself, the air filled with impatience and lust, heavy enough to begin clouding surfaces.

Drew pulled up the bottom of your dress until your behind was exposed, alining himself to you.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look in this dress?” he asked in a husky tone, his tip grazing your entrance making your breathing struggle in your lungs.

“Yeah—fuck…” you whimpered as he carefully slid in. The pressure and uncomfort soon fading once your walls perfectly accommodated to him “Yeah, yeah you have” you breathed, an open mouthed moan escaping your lips once he bottomed you out.

His left arm held your hip as the other reached for the stool closest to you to set it to your right, your back shivered against his chest as your eyelids became heavy. 

“Right foot on the footrest, beautiful” he commanded and you were quick to oblige.

His right arm now rested over your lower abdomen keeping you close as he prepared to thrust in.

“Is that why you won’t take it off?” you asked wantonly, your head resting on his shoulder.

“That’s exactly why” he smiled looking down at you in that gorgeous dress, his hands soothing your warm skin as you playfully wiggled your body back into him 

“You ready?” he asked.

You nodded, finally bending forward comfortably, your palms to the kitchen island once he began thrusting in slowly.

“Fuck” you breathed with closed eyes. The way he slid in so perfectly made the both of you dizzy, the overwhelming need to chase the blissful culmination of sex soon took over as he began thrusting in deeper, faster. The sound of colliding skin, filled the small apartment and your moans only fueled Drew’s need to make you climax.

“That’s my girl” he smiled as he pounded mercilessly into you. Your back arched as that of a cat while your eyes became watery, mumbling profanities under your breath as your nails scratched the wooden countertops.

You gasped when his hands pushed your body back with each trust, biting your lips to keep quiet soon became purposeless “Ahh shit, fuck!!—” you whined loudly, your legs beginning to shake on their own accord “I’m cumming, fuck! Oh my god!”

Drew smiled pleasantly at the obnoxious sound the collision of your bodies made, his hand immediately landed on your clit causing your screams of his name to become impossibly louder.

“Fuck yeah! Oh my fucking god!” you cursed as you unknowingly squeezed him in.

“Fuck!” he whimpered “it’s happening again, isn't it?

You offered him a lazy nod of your head as you whined holding onto the hand that was pleasuring you “You’re gonna–oh my god Drew! uhh! Shit this is too much, I can't take it!”

Drew shook his head with an upwards twitch of his lips while shushing you, his hands and pounding never stopping “You’ve done it before and you do it so well, huh? You know you do”

“Fuck! Uhh!”

“That’s it…just listen to my voice—What were you saying, pretty girl?” he cooed.

“I can’t feel my legs–” you whined, your head low as one hand braced the fast thrusts against the edge of the countertop.

“I got you, baby…i'm right here” he assured with an ever present shake of his voice as he twitched inside you. 

“You’re gonna fucking make me squirt” you cried out, forcefully closing your eyes while every whimper sounded like a beg for more.

And just as you voiced it, it became your reality. Drew reached his climax as your legs shook and clear liquid coated your inner thighs. You stayed bent over the table breathing rapidly as you both waited perplexed for the seemingly incessant shake of your legs to end, Drew held you by the hips, drawing slow circles to try calming you down all while trying to stay present in the moment. 

“You okay?” he breathed shakily.

You nodded with a soft hum, propping yourself up on the table until you could rest your back against his chest that heaved the same way yours did. You slowly lowered your wobbly leg from the footrest of the stool, signaling the end of the drunken tango but still, one of his hands held its position at your hip and the other caressed your cheek lovingly, his lips kissed your temple making you smile lazily and almost forget about the position your were still in, yet intimate and nearly sinful, it wasn’t the most optimal.

“We’re drunk…tired and in need of a shower–” you spoke languidly, once you heard him hum, you continued “but i’m still gonna ask you to carry me to bed, gimme like ten minutes and then you can redo whatever that was”

He nodded with a low chuckle, his hands soothing your arms “Dress stays on?”

You chuckled “Dress stays on” 

Coconuts

A/n: should I make this a series?

She smelled like coconuts, thanks to her signature shampoo, but that’s not what drew Rafe in..

She was seated at the country club bar, sipping on a pina colada. Rafe sat in the booth a few feet back with topper and kelce. “So you coming tonight Rafe?” Topper asked his friend. “What?” Rafe was clearly distracted, the root of his distraction? Her. He didn’t know her name or who she was, but he wanted too. “The party man, are you coming?” Kelce asked giving topper a look. “Oh yeah, whatever bro” Rafe scoffed.

He never enjoyed the parties, it was always an excuse to escape reality, do drugs, and hook up with random girls. But tonight might be different, she might be there.

“Yo top, whose that chick over there” Rafe nodded his head in her direction. “Oh that’s y/n. She’s fairly new here. Friends with Sarah or something” Rafes heart nearly leaped out of his chest. She knew his sister?

“Is the kook king whipped?” Kelce teased his friend. Rafe gave him a look that quickly shut him up.

“She coming tonight?” Rafe continued his interrogation. “I mean if you really want her there I guess I can ask Sarah to invite her” topper said. “No! That’s okay. I don’t need my bitch ass sister up in my business” Rafe knew that Sarah would not approve of him trying to hook up with one of her friends, she would claim that he would just corrupt her. But would it be a shame if he did? Maybe he didn’t want to just corrupt her, there was something about her. Something Rafe was drawn too.

Time jump to the party

Rafe sat on the couch, another bimbo in his lap. His hand on her waist as the group around him snorted coke, drank their beers and engaged in convo. Through the crowd he spotted her, he almost jumped out of his seat. He couldn’t believe she was actually here. Sure he had some hope she’d show up but it was small. “Guys let’s play a game!” The annoying girl on Rafes lap squeaked out. A small group gathered in the living room and people took seats and to Rafes surprise she was one of those people. She took a seat right across from him. He couldn’t help staring at her, the curves of her body, the soft features on her face, the innocent gleam in her eyes, oh how badly he wanted to strip her of that. Her eyes met his for a second and he quickly looked away, changing his demeanor to seem more relaxed and nonchalant.

“How about never have I ever?” A girl from the crowd suggested. Everybody agreed and the game begun, every so often Rafes eyes falling to her, the tight skirt she wore rising up every time she moved. Just barely exposing her pink panties, god this was painfully hard for him.

“Never have I ever been walked in on during sex”

A few people drank, implying that they have done it. Rafe watched as she took a sip of her drink, his eyebrow shooting up in surprise. She seemed so innocent.

“Never have I ever been arrested”

She took another sip, Rafes eyes still on her..

“Never have I ever been nude in public”

Another sip. Who was this girl? She seemed so innocent and yet this game is opening a new side of her. Maybe she wasn’t as innocent as Rafe had judged her to be.

The game went on for a few more rounds, once it finished she got up and headed to the kitchen to fix herself another drink. Rafe watched her moves intently, deciding that this was his chance. He pushed the girl off his lap and followed in her footsteps.

“Your new here” she jumped a bit at his voice. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya. Just saw you standing here alone. Thought I’d introduce myself, Rafe” he outstretched his hand. She took it happily and smiled up at him. “Y/n” her voice was soft and kind, not like the girls here who were always so high pitched and squeaky, laced with bitchiness. “Pretty name for a pretty girl” he winked as her face flushed red, clearly not used to being complemented. “Thank you” she brought the red solo cup up to her plump rosey lips and took a sip of her drink.

Rafe was so nervous, he normally wasn’t like this when it came to girls, what was she doing to him?

“So..” he clicked his tongue “are you? New here?” He couldn’t think of anything else to say, his mind going blank as her eyes looked into his, turning his brain to mush. “Yeah. I just moved here. Have made like one friend and she invited me out tonight. However, she ditched me as soon as she found her boyfriend” she laughed to herself. “Yeah Sarah can be a slut like that” Rafe rolled his eyes not realizing what he just said.

“Hey howd you know her name?” She gave him a confused look as she waited for a response. “Oh-uh-I- Sarah’s my sister” he babbled. “Hmm, still doesn’t explain how you knew she was my only friend” still giving him a confused look and awaiting a response. “Fine” he sighed “I’ve been asking around about you” he admitted. “Oh really?” She giggled.

What Rafe didn’t know was that she knew exactly who he was. She was warned about him, specifically by Sarah.

The two looked up at each other. A moment of awkward silence shared between them before they both tried speaking up “so-“ “I-“ both of them laughing at the situation.

“What made you ask around about me?” She asked. “You caught my eye” he came in closer, resting his hand on the counter behind her. Trapping her between him. She looked down, smiling. “Hey don’t hide that pretty smile from me, I’ve been wanting to see it up close all night” he lifted her face up by placing a finger under her chin. Her big eyes staring into his. His eyes darted between hers and her lips.

He leaned in, lips centimeters apart, “Rafe! Where did you go?” An annoying voice coming from the living room. Rafe rolled his eyes as the girl who was previously in his lap walked into the kitchen. He turned around to tell her to fuck off, but when he turned back around to continue with his girl she was gone..

holy matrimony part one: homecoming

series summary: Rafe and Y/N were the most envied couple of the Outer Banks- until they weren’t. When she comes back from college engaged to a man she’s known for less than six months, Rafe knows something isn’t right. With a summer full of wedding planning and Figure Eight events, will he be able to figure out a way to get her back, or will he have to watch the love of his life marry someone else?

a/n: ahhh i’m so excited but so nervous for this!! i love the idea of the series so far and may or may not already have the first 3 parts written. please let me know what you think about. it starts off kinda slow but is definitely going to pick up in the next 2 parts

warnings: swearing

word count: 2.5k

-

“Hey, I have a question,” Rafe whispered softly, his fingers tracing shapes on your back.

“I might have an answer,” you replied, resting your chin on his chest to look up at him. The soft hues of orange from the sunset were casting a warm glow on his face, making him look more beautiful than you thought possible.

“Will you marry me?” he asked and smirked as you rolled your eyes and scoffed.

“Rafe, I’m 17,” you explained as if he had forgotten your ages. “I don’t think my dad would be crazy about giving you his blessing when we haven’t even graduated high school.”

“Not right now, baby,” Rafe shook his head and ran his fingers through your hair. “One day, though. Besides, you didn’t say no.”

“No, I guess I didn’t.” A blush crept its way onto your cheeks as you nodded and smiled. You held up your pinky finger, teeth catching your bottom lip between them. “Til death do us part?”

Without hesitation, he wrapped his pinky around yours and pressed a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Til death do us part.”

Keep reading

all i think about is karma

summary: you and rafe take on a mainland bush party where he knows no one, and you know too many people for his liking.

this can be read as a stand-alone but it's technically a part four to getaway car, big reputation, and this is why we can’t have nice things.

pairing: rafe x fem!reader

wc: 2.1k

tags/warnings: jealous!rafe, highschool au, (some) nondescript nudity, cursing, mean kook!reader, underage drinking, (i think that’s it??)

a/n: hey y’all!! sorry i haven’t posted anything in a little while, i’ve been busy but now im back home and on my usual schedule so there shouldn’t be any serious interruptions for a little while. i missed y’all and i hope you like this! this is what won my getaway car poll quite some time ago so im so happy to finally get it out!

"No, Y/N/N, I'll be fine. I don't want to dampen your week, you'll have so much fun!" Bella insists, adjusting where her phone is laying in her lap while she lays in bed, surrounded by tissues and snack wrappers. She came down with the flu at the worst possible time: right before you were meant to go on your spring break trip.

"It won't be the same without you! I should just stay home, I can come over and we can have a movie marathon or something. That'll be just as fun." You reply, watching her through the facetime camera while you sit at your vanity.

"No. Absolutely not. You're going- and you'll get to hangout with Rafe! It's worth it for me to get all the juicy details after." Bella giggles, sniffling and quickly wiping her nose.

You roll your eyes, rubbing your forehead. "Okay, yeah, but nothings gonna happen- you know I swore that off."

"Yeah, whatever. The two of you, alone, drunk and sharing a tent? Whatever you say." Your friend teases you. "It's actually worth it for me to stay home so you can come back with tea."

"Okay, fine," You agree, not admitting that the idea is very tempting. "But I'm not sleeping with him again."

"No! Of course not." Bella laughs, shaking her head. "But if you did, at least be safe this time. We don't need a repeat of what happened last time-"

"Okay! Okay! Bye, Bella I'll call you later!" You quickly cut her off, hanging up the phone.

Several long hours after texting Rafe the update that Bella wasn't going to make it, you found yourself in his truck on the mainland, driving into what seems to be the middle of nowhere for a bush party you caught word of from some friends you met playing soccer on a local team. You were excited to see them, and meet some new people, but you're honestly so glad Rafe still wanted to go. You'd rather not go alone if you didn't have to.

Judging by the large space in front of you full of various groups of kids your age putting tents together or starting fires around makeshift campsites at the edge of the water, you assume you're in the right place and get to work setting up your own tent off near the edge of the lake.

It wasn't long before the sun started to set over the abandoned gravel pit, and you just finish up when you crack open your first drink from the cooler. "So like... are we actually going to talk to anyone or just hide over here and be weird all night?" Rafe asks as you bring the can to your lips.

You roll your eyes a little and nod. "Well, duh. My friends are coming. I don't know what your plans are." Rafe looks around at that, seeing if there's anyone he might be able to talk to, but he was counting on hanging out with you.

"Wow, you're ditching me?" He asks, reaching into the cooler as well and grabbing a beer. "Cold."

You go to reply with a matching, somewhat snarky attitude the two of you almost always share when you recognize the purple jeep that's pulling in. "That's them! Good luck making friends!" You call back, jogging over to where they parked.

Rafe flips you off as you turn your full attention to your friends, sighing a little to himself as he lays eyes on a group of local boys who look enough like his friends that he's comfortable talking to them.

By the time that the area is lit only by the orange glow coming from the several cooking fires and the large bonfire everyone is centered around, you're already stumbling over your feet with a half-drank bottle of some liquor you didn't bring, and you're not even sure where you got it.

Rafe has been trying to keep an eye on you from a distance, but now he's lost you. He's drunk himself, so he's not overly concerned, but he would just at least like to know where you were. He looks around frantically, trying to keep his cool as the boys around him are laughing about something he didn't care to pay attention to. His eyes land on some figures out in the lake, and he squints to see if he can make out the shape of your hair in the dark. He takes a few steps away to get a closer look, hearing you laughing and shouting over the music coming from an on shore speaker. He walks down to the shore with a smug look on his face, polishing off his beer when he looks down and notices piles of clothes on the shore. Are you naked?

"Hey, Y/N!" Rafe shouts, waving to you in an attempt to grab your attention.

"Rafe!" You shout back, smile never fading as you push your wet hair out of your face. With the liquor warming you, the water feels amazing and so soft on your skin. "Come out here! Come join us!"

Rafe sighs as he finds your stuff, relieved to find only your shirt, shorts, and bra. At least you weren't fully naked in front of all these strangers. He strips of everything but his boxers and grabs your bra, wading out into the cool lake water to you and your friends as they cheer and laugh.

"Rafe! Where have you been?" You giggle, throwing your arms over his shoulders once he gets close enough for you to reach.

"I've been around- apparently I should have been babysitting you ladies." He chuckles, trying to hide any frustration in his tone as he avoids looking at your friends who are just as well clothed as you are. "Put this on, at least." He adds, pulling away from you and handing you the article of clothing, crossing his arms to watch you put it on despite his better judgement.

"Hey! Girls! Come on in, we're going to play chandelier!" One of the guys Rafe had the pleasure of talking to for the last couple hours shouts, and quickly everyone makes their way in to shore.

"Y/N, hey, we don't want you to get sick. Come warm up." Rafe turns his head as he gets his shirt back on, watching as one of the other guys, Jesse, is quickly wrapping you in a small blanket and guiding you up to the bonfire with a hand on your lower back. He scowls at the two of you behind your back, following as he urges you up the small hill and towards the large fire pit ahead.

You walk side by side with the boy, until you can feel the warmth of the flames on your skin where you stop and stand to dry off both your skin and what little clothing you have on. You don't know you're shivering until Jesse is tugging on the blanket around your shoulders. "Here, let me help you warm up.." He chuckles, wrapping his arms around you from behind and draping the blanket over both of you.

"Oh, thanks, Jesse." You say, teeth chattering from the soft breeze. You lean back into him, swaying from the alcohol still in your system and he steadies you.

"Anytime, sweetheart." He mumbles, pressing his lips to the back of your head.

You are well aware of his hands wandering, fiddling with the waistband of your underwear as you have your arms crossed tightly over your chest. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you gaze across the fire and your eyes land on Rafe, who's staring at you intently.

You smile and wave at him, but he just rolls his eyes in response and looks away. Is he upset with you for ditching him? In hindsight it wasn't very nice, even if that is the kind of relationship you normally have. If it was you you'd be upset- he didn't know anyone, and he was left to fend for himself, granted; he was clearly fine.

"Hey, Ashley?" You find yourself calling over to your other friend, but she doesn't hear you as your eyes well up with tears. Why do you feel so bad right now? Does Rafe being upset with you really bother you that much? You've hardly felt like this before.

"Ashley?" You ask again, but she hardly glances at you as she's got another boy draped over her shoulder- one who is definitely not the girls boyfriend.

"You okay?" Jesse asks, leaning his head over your shoulder to get a better look at you.

"Uhm, yeah, I just have to go to the bathroom and I was hoping she would come with me." You explain, watching Rafe again as he buries himself in conversation with the two girls standing next to him.

"I'll take you." Jesse offers. "Come on, I won't watch. Swear." He says, already guiding you away and tossing the blanket back to his friend.

You glance back at Rafe over your shoulder as Jesse walks you off into the dark. Just as you look forward again to try and watch your step, Jesse's hand is smacking your butt playfully, making you jump. You laugh it off and give him a shove, but he's grabbing your hand and pulling you in the direction of his truck.

The swing of Jesse's arm to where his hand hit your exposed skin drew Rafe's attention again fully, and he furrows his brow as he watches you stumble away. You were sharing a tent with him and you were really about to hook up with that mainland loser? He quickly downs the rest of his beer and storms after you, fists clenched at his sides after discarding the bottle on a nearby pong table.

"Hey!" Rafe shouts, making the two of you turn just as Jesse backs you up against the side of his truck and starts kissing down your neck. You're confused, but not one to turn down an opportunity like this- especially when you never have to see him again. As soon as Jesse turns his head, though, it's snapped back again with the contact of Rafe's fist into his nose.

He groans and quickly brings his hands up to his face, tipping his head back as blood pours from between his fingers. You gasp, reaching out for him but hesitating, not sure what to do.

"You think you can hook up with any girl who accepts a blanket from you when she's cold? She came here with me." Rafe spits, and you feel your features pull into an expression of anger as you quickly step towards him and shove him back. "What?"

"Come on." You mutter, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the now bleeding boy. "What the fuck was that about?" You ask, storming back to where your shared tent was in the corner. "Do you think you have some stupid claim over me just because you drove me here?"

Rafe rolls his eyes, stopping with you next to the tent as you drop his arm and turn to face him. "He was taking advantage of you!"

You scoff, shaking your head and crossing your arms. "No, Rafe. He wasn't. Did you ever consider that maybe I wanted that?"

"Whatever, Y/N- don't act like you weren't eyeing me up for the whole drive here."

"Oh. My. God." You find yourself laughing suddenly, realizing what this is about. "You were jealous."

"What? No I wasn't." Rafe replies defensively.

You smile at him cockily, tilting your head and waiting for him to spiral on it.

"I wasn't! I tried to help. That's what I get, I guess!" Rafe throws his hands up.

"And here I was thinking you were mad at me for ditching you. Turns out you were just horny." You smirk, knowing you were just pushing his buttons this time for fun.

"Oh, fuck off, Y/N, you're just trying to piss me off now for fun."

"You're not denying it." You shrug, looking back over to the fire for a moment, seeing Jesse sitting there with paper towel pressed to his nose and a few girls surrounding him.

"You're making it difficult not to be when you’re walking around like that.” He replies, smirking as he looks you up and down.

“Don’t be gross, Rafe.” You smile, dropping your arms from they were crossed over your chest.

He takes a step closer at that, delicately placing his hands on your hips. “You love it, Y/N/N, you know you do.”

taglist: @bookishbabyyy @madelynie , @whore-4-drewstarkey , @slut4drudy , @winterrrnight , @totalswag , @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron , @urfaveluvr , @chenslucy , @hxnnah-397 , @s-we-e-t-t-ea , @tahliac11 , @ragingsammie , @ietss, @dee127

convalescence — pt. 6 — you are my home: vol. two

↳PAIRING: frat!rafe cameron x fem!!reader

↳SUMMARY: after getting rafe home, you experience both sadness + bliss simultaneously.

↳WARNINGS: [5.0k] 18+, mature themes, THIS CHAPTER HAS SMUT AT THE END; creampie, riding - cowgirl style, mentions of the word good girl, emotional sex, electric love making, medical lingo, violence, hurt/comfort, mentions of an accident, major trauma and injuries, scared reader, angst, comfort, soft!rafe, anxiety, ptsd, heartbreak, childhood best friends to lovers, mentions of surgery, comforting rafe, mentions of nostalgia, court proceedings, mentions of sexual assault, eventual smut, etc.

↳A/N: this is a repost from my old blog @tee-swizzle. all of my works are being reposted to this one + the previous blog has been deactivated. moodboard by: @wildflwrdarlin

The ride to your apartment is mostly silent save for Rafe’s grunts and grimace’s each time Ward does his best to avoid the potholes in the asphalt, but fails miserably. Rafe can feel the grinding of the asphalt against the wheels of the car in between his ears, despite the pain medication you talked him into taking in an effort to make the short drive more tolerable. You look at him in the mirror from where you sit in the backseat and notice that he looks rather green and Ward’s guilt stricken eyes meet yours in the same reflection as he hits another and a burst of anger rumbles from the pits of his belly. 

“I’m so sorry, bud. I swear to God the governor is going to hear about this. This is ridiculous!”

Rafe’s pained giggle both warms you and cuts you into pieces simultaneously. 

“You hear that, sweet girl? He's gonna call the governor of the state because we were inconvenienced.” 

He mocked his father, laughing. You smiled at his antics. 

“It’s rather silly, isn’t it?” 

You chimed in, meeting wards eyes again in the mirror, throwing a wink his way. He smiled warmly in response. Knowing your wink meant “he’s laughing, let him have this” — and so he did. You’d missed the sweet symphony of his laugh. Your entire body’s new accustomed tensed nature seemed to deflate at the sound. Ward took notice of it, smiling to himself at the realization that it was a super power only his sweet son seemed to possess. Long gone were Rafe's days of sadness and addiction at the wake of his mother’s death. Instead, his psyche had healed and he’d become the man that he always hoped he would; a man you deserved. He gripped Rafe’s thigh in an effort to brace him as the car in front of them came to a dead stop, slamming on its breaks. Ward’s attempts were futile, Rafe’s yelp the most disturbing sound he’d ever heard. 

“I know, buddy. I’m so sorry.” 

His apology was deeply embedded in his irises, as if it was his fault the moron in front of you didn’t know how to drive. 

“It’s okay, Ward. Let’s just get him home as fast and as safely as possible.” 

The emphasis in your words gutted him, but he knew you were right – that Rafe needed to be at home in the safety of your arms and your satin sheets. He watched as your hands wrapped around the seat in front of you, delicate fingers gracing the sun kissed skin of your boy. He melted under your grazing, fingertips sending a chill across his broken spine. 

“Just wait til’ I can get you home, pretty girl. Swear i’m gonna do ya s’right.” 

He said, seemingly not caring that his father was in front of you. Ward stifled back a laugh, assuming it had to be the numerous medications running through his veins. That’s the only thing that explains a statement so brazen. 

“Is that right? I think it’s the other way around, Cameron. I think I’m the one that’s got something special waiting just for you.” 

You said and Rafe’s sloppy, drunk, hazy smile did you in. You winked at Ward as his eyes met yours in the rearview mirror. He didn’t even know what it was that you had in store for Rafe, but he knew you had asked him to stay in a hotel for the night and he knew that you were an angel and you were going to take care of his boy like you always did. 

—

Actually getting Rafe into the apartment was harder than you had anticipated. He clung to you with a vice grip as he listened to your voice instructing him, his usual habit of watching his feet when he walks unable to be performed. It made you want to scream and cry right there when you watched him try to jerk his eyes downward. You didn’t understand how his hope hadn’t been viscerated yet but then you remembered he was Rafe – he was your Rafe – and he was always going to have even a tiny sliver of hope. You’d make sure of that. 

“Just listen to my voice, baby. Don’t try to look down, you’re gonna hurt your neck.” 

You instructed. 

“M’kay.”

He mumbled, as you continued to guide him through the foyer of your apartment. Ward stood closely behind, making sure you knew he was ready to lend a hand if you’d need it. His hands hovered around the two of you from behind like he had a supersonic beam protecting you from afar, molding you where you were in a bubble of safety. Ward had always been protective of the two of you. You did him in with your bright eyes and bouncing curls tied back into a bow the day his seven year old son came home holding your hand in his. He tells people he knew at that moment that he’d always protect you, but he knows that isn’t true. He knows that in that moment Rafe knew. But, he’s not sure which moment in which he knew that you were his new daughter, there’s far too many to name. Not many people meet their soulmate when they’re in the second grade, but he was so glad that you did. As you hone in on the couch, the promise of finally sitting makes Rafe ecstatic. He’s smiling despite the pain that’s written on his face when you pivot him and his back meets a very large pile of fluffy pillows. He’d always secretly cursed your ability to buy a new pillow for each holiday, but today he’s thankful as he relishes in the comfort of your decor addiction. You move back, Rafe’s hand still gripping your wrists, not yet wanting to let go. You marvel at the thought that he could be this hurt and still want nothing but your touch. 

“I need you to let me go so I can fix the pillows, sweet boy.” 

He grumbles at the mere notion of not touching you, which is extremely Rafe-centric and you seem to empathize with his antics instead of eliciting your normal giggle. 

“Do you have to?” 

He asks, bottom lip coming above his top one in his best attempt at a puppy pout. You’re sure he’ll start whimpering if you don’t give in to the dramatics now. Instead, you do what he usually does best – talk some sense into him. 

“I’m right here, baby. It would just make me feel less anxious if I know you’re comfortable and taken care of. Can you let me do that, please?” 

You lean down into his field of vision, his hands still gripping your wrists. He wonders how he could be so stupid, not to know how scared you still are. He can see it in your eyes as they scan his form, as they wonder if he’s real, if he’s still in front of you. Rafe’s never believed it when people say the eyes are the window to the soul, but he does now as he’s looking into yours and they look – sad. So, he puts his pout away and gives you his best smile. Sure, later, when things are less hectic and heavy, he will get you to talk to him about what happened to you. Because while he’s physically hurting, he knows the walls you’ve built up over the years will try to convince him that you’re mentally okay, that you’re not feeling an extension of his pain in your own body. But, he knows it's a lie – that’s the beauty of meeting your soulmate when you’re seven. 

“Okay, baby.” 

He replies, trying to nod again. Which, he knows the doctor told him is a no-no, but he can’t seem to help the way his body naturally responds to these situations, especially ones that you’re in with him. He can’t seem to break the habits or the sovereignty that these moments with you have over his life and he begins to wonder what would’ve happened had he not gotten another one. He watches you out of the corner of his eyes, his new favorite feat – because nothing can keep Rafe Cameron’s eyes off of you, not even the likes of a broken neck. Still, he watches as close as he can as your tan skin moves in sync with your hands, adjusting the pillows behind his head and back just the way the nurses had taught you. You took one pillow in particular and rolled it up before you put it behind his head in between his neck and the back side of his halo. They had instructed you that it would make him feel less like his head was floating, less like it was separated from his body. Naturally, anything that would provide him more comfort had become your forte, so you took their instructions and all they taught you very seriously, going as far as writing every meticulous instruction and detail in a notebook that you now kept on your person at all times. 

“How’s that?” 

You ask, your bright eyes searching his for any sign of discomfort. You let out a breath of relief as he presents you with a crooked, boyish smile. 

“It’s good, pretty girl. Can you come here already?” 

He asks and you grin cheekily, straddling his lap and plopping down gently. It feels good to touch him again and you marvel in it as you become hip to hip with the man you love. Your hands wrap around his biceps, who’ve not yet lost their muscle tone though you know it's coming. His brace doesn’t let you lay your head against the crook of his neck in the way you so desperately want to, so you settle with staring into his blue eyes. That is until someone clears their throat in awkward tension – that someone being Ward. 

“Oh, god! I’m sorry, Ward. I wasn’t thinking about you being here.” 

He starts laughing in response to your panicked tone as you quickly climb off of his son’s lap and scurry in front of him. You’re not sure why you’re stuttering over your own words or why you’re laced with fear at the notion that you did something you shouldn’t have in front of him. 

“I-I’m sorry.” 

You pleaded with him, wanting him to know that you were indeed sorry but his laughter catches you off guard and Rafe can hear you flick your gaze down to the floor like a puppy being scolded. He’d done his best to rid you of these habits that your father infiltrated your brain with, but some days were better than others and this wasn’t one of those days. 

“Dad.” 

Rafe growled, his tone warning and Ward’s eyes flicked to you, suddenly taking in the sight of your embarrassed, apologetic form. He crosses the wood flooring of your apartment quickly, his hands wrapping around your biceps. 

“Sweetheart – you’re fine. You are allowed to touch someone you’re about to marry no matter who’s watching, even if it’s my son. Okay? I’m giggling because you guys really had no idea I was here. You were so lost in each other. That’s a beautiful thing. I’m not upset. I promise.” 

You lifted your head as his sweet words, the tears you were about to let fall no longer clouding your vision. 

“Do you mean it?” 

You question. 

“Of course I do!” 

He giggles and it brings a smile back to your sweet face. 

“Now, I’m gonna leave for the night and let you two celebrate your engagement, okay? Just go easy on him. He’s going to be pouty once he realizes how much he can’t do in the next few days.” 

You nodded vigorously, throwing a wink his way and watching as he made his way into Rafe’s field of vision again, kneeling before him. 

“You take good care of our girl, m’kay buddy? I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

He moves to get back into a full standing position but Rafe grabs his father’s wrist before he has the chance, catching him by surprise. 

“I love you, Dad.” 

He speaks into the air between them and Ward smiles, crouching down in front of him. 

“I love you more.” 

He says, placing a kiss to his son’s hand that was now resting in his own. He pats Rafe’s knee for good measure before standing and exiting your apartment. 

—

A short while after Ward left, you’d convinced him to let you change him into more comfortable clothes,which really wasn’t true. You just wanted him in clothes that felt and smelled like him, not ones that wreaked of antiseptic and the heaviness that had been over you since you saw him fall from the balcony. He knew you very well, so he obliged, his own skin feeling sticky and overstimulated from the hospital smell that lingered against him. He settled on letting you leave him shirtless and changing him into Nike socks and gray sweatpants. It was only after that that he convinced you to lay with him on the couch. Which is exactly where you’d found yourself waking from a nap close to four hours later. You were warm, that’s the first thought you had as you came back to consciousness, warm and safe. Which could only mean one thing – Rafe must be near. He was indeed near, your cheeks squished against his belly button as your body laid in between his long legs. You blinked your eyes open and your ears were assaulted by his soft snores. It made you smile. You laid there for a while, just listening to his even breaths, something you’d always been thankful for. But, now the overwhelming feeling of joy that laced through your veins at the mere sound of it left you dizzy. You’d never imagine fear would grip you as greatly as it had as you waited to hear about his status after his accident. You just knew you never wanted to feel that way ever again. Which prompted you not to move a muscle – simply basking in his afterglow, now that he’d danced with death and made it on the other side. His afterglow was yellow; daffodils and sunshine and so notably him. As you laid there with him, you couldn’t help but feel like you’d never seen color or him for that matter, until now. Maybe you hadn’t. 

After about thirty minutes of you admiring how beautiful he was as he lay there sleeping, Rafe stirred. You watched in ill stricken horror as he opened his eyes and his chest started heaving, forgetting in sleepy stupor what had happened to him. This was his new morning ritual, at least it had been for the last two weeks. The fear that laced his blue orbs was something that haunted you every time he looked this way. Because Rafe Cameron was a lot of things – but he’d never been scared before, not like he was in these fragments of time. You contemplated letting him come to reality on his own until his breathing became more frantic. That’s when you squeezed him tightly around his middle, careful not to jostle his injuries in any way. You felt the plaster of the cast on his wrist wrap around you as it caught the fabric of your t-shirt, lifting it slightly causing the hardened, once wet material to scrap your tummy. 

“Hey – you okay?”

You questioned, concern hidden in the octaves of your voice as you clung to your sweet boy like a sloth to a tree branch. 

“Yeah, I’m alright, baby. It’s weird, you know? It’s like sleeping makes me forget and then I wake up and I-I’m scared.” 

You roll over onto your tummy at the vulnerability he’s showing you. This is his first attempt at talking about his accident and the way it’s making him feel and you refuse to do anything else except listen intently and offer him your unconditional support. You moved your arms, crossing them underneath your chin on top of his belly as you peered up at him, intently listening. 

“What’s scaring you the most, baby?” 

You ask timidly, unsure if you really want to know the answer, still afraid that part of him blames you for – all of it. He must be able to read your thoughts because he squeezes you a little tighter and it makes your eyes wet. 

“Everytime I wake up, I c-can’t remember where you are o-or what happened. I can’t remember if I got to you before he hurt you a-and it’s so terrifying. I mean what am I supposed to do if there’s no you?” 

He replies, voice wavering as he starts to cry. You don’t think, you can’t think – you act; body lifting to straddle his lap and look him in the eyes. 

“Hey.” 

You speak softly, arms moving through the bars caging his head in to cup his cheeks. 

“I’m okay.” 

You speak again, smiling softly. His tears run streaks down his now flushed cheeks and his bottom lip wobbles. You haven’t seen him this innocent in years and flashes of the little boy you fell in love with are ever present in your brain. It makes your chest ache. 

“But, you almost weren’t and I-I can’t get his hands being on you out of my head, y/n. I’d die if anything happened to you. You know t-that right? I-I’d die.” 

He says matter of factly in between blubbering cries. 

“Nothing is ever gonna happen to me. I’m okay because you protected me like you always do.” 

You speak, bringing his hand to your heart, placing his palm flat against your breast. 

“Feel that?” 

You question, your eyelashes fluttering as you peer up at him from where you sat. 

“I don’t think feeling you up right now is gonna help much, pretty girl.” 

You roll your eyes in response to him and scoff violently. 

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Cameron. Take a deep breath and tell me what you feel.” 

You tell him and watch as he follows your instructions. 

“It’s – your heart.” 

He smiles and it’s a different one, it’s that of an excited child. It melts you in all the same ways his usual smiles do. 

“Yeah, baby. I’m still here. It’s still beating. You don’t have to be scared anymore.” 

You say into the air between you, reaching your head into his cage and kissing him as deeply as the brace will allow. He returns it with a small moan. 

—

There’s a sizzle, the sound of oil bubbling – then the sound of meat meeting a cast iron skillet. It’s amazing in two short weeks the heightened senses your sweet boy has come accustomed to. Like the sounds of his favorite meal being made, it’s something he finds himself grateful for. Yet, he’s even more grateful as he hears your hum. He’s zoned in on Olivia Benson in all her glory as she plays on the screen of your living room tv when he hears your feet softly padding across the linoleum floors. It’s funny really that this is your show – one you enjoy together and yet, he’s stuck in one position unable to move to look at you. It makes him angry and overstimulates his senses. He’s known who the criminal is since minute five and he’s bored, because he only enjoys reruns when you’re beside him, hands in his hair. He can see you there when he closes his eyes just long enough, your sweet smile in his peripheral vision. it’s so vivid; the way he can see you as he hears the movements you make – the scraping of a fork in oil as you retrieve the meat from the pan, the way you grimace and scowl as it burns your fingers even though you know that it’s hot. He can see you as you suck on your finger nursing the sting out of it. He thanks God that he still closes his eyes and sees you even when you’re not in front of him. He thanks God he doesn’t have to rely on the memory because he never wants to forget you like that. He never wants to forget you at all. 

“You sleepin’ silly goose? After I slaved over this food – I can’t believe it.” 

You say as you stand over him in mock exasperation. He can feel your shadow now looming over him. He grins softly and peeks one open, closing it quickly before you can see him. 

“It’s okay, baby. You sleep all you want to.” 

You reply, seemingly to yourself as you crouch, placing your hands on his chiseled cheeks, gently rubbing your thumb back and forth. 

“Such a softie.” 

He mutters, a sly grin ever present as he opens his eyes and giggles. 

“Not fair!” 

You pout, pulling away as you place your hands on his knees to aid you in getting up. He quickly has his hands on your wrists, preventing you from going anywhere as he giggles. 

“You tricked me!” 

You continue pouting as he pulls you onto his lap and you straddle him. 

“Not my fault, you just make it too easy, pretty girl.” 

You roll your eyes, dropping your head to his shoulder. His embrace is warm and all you want to do is hold him forever. You raise your head to look in his eyes and in them sits something you’ve never seen before – anguish and longing – looking like they go hand in hand. 

“What is it?” 

You ask, trepidation on your lips. 

“Just feeling really lucky is all.” 

Liar – you think to yourself as you reach your hand in between his bars, tapping his cheek gently before getting up to grab his dinner. 

“Where are you going, beautiful girl?” 

He asked. 

“I have a very hungry fiance to feed.”

You reply and he chuckles to himself. 

—

What feels like hours but is only moments later, he’s back to relying on the noises of your actions. The first one he hears he quickly identifies as scraping metal; the kind only created between a knife meeting a plate. This and the smell of his favorite seasoning told him that you’d made him a steak and you were more than likely cutting it into pieces small enough for him to be able to swallow. He internally purred at the thought – you cooking his favorite meal and chopping it up so he could chew it. His bliss is quickly taken away as he continues to hear the scraping; nausea over taking him. He’s not sure if it’s the screws in his head or not, but the sound is making him hurt and he feels like he needs to lay down. He does need to lay down. 

“Dream girl.” 

The words are not a question, they are a plea as they come out of his mouth and you’re quickly running into the living room, looking down at him as he closes his eyes. 

“Are you sick, baby?” 

You question, stupidly, cursing yourself for even speaking. You close your mouth quickly, rapidly running into the office that is just adjacent to where you are and grab the trash can that’s beneath the desk. You hit your head as you try to move at lightning speed from underneath the mahogany to return to your boy. 

“Shit!”

He hears you screech and he almost smiles – almost. He’s far too worse for wear currently to try to move even a centimeter. 

“Rafe, baby – can you open your eyes?” 

You question lightly, moving to wrangle him to the edge of the sofa cushion so that he can lean forward and vomit into the trash can if he needs to. 

“M’okay.” 

He mutters after what seems like hours. 

“Vertigo.” 

He says. You can do nothing but nod your head and before you know it, tears are clouding your vision. You wanted to treat him like the king that he was, sure that his favorite meal and a movie would put a smile on his face. 

“Come here, baby.” 

He says as you help him sit back into the couch cushion again. You look at him, unsure if you’ll hurt him, but longing for his touch more than you ever have. He doesn't look at you directly because, well – he can’t. But, he feels the force of your wobbling lip as he pats his hands against his thighs. So, you do what he asks – you crawl onto his lap, straddling him, yet again as he looks into your eyes. 

“What’s the matter?” 

He questions you, his uncasted hand reaching up to feel the warmth of your now flushed cheeks. His touch – it’s enough and the damn breaks; every ounce of emotion your body is holding inside is released in the form of water. 

“I-I don’t know what to do to make it better.” 

You squeal, sobs over taking you. Rafe is so shell shocked that he’s speechless. You look like a frustrated toddler, he notes; wondering how long you’ve been holding this in – how long the guilt has been eating at you. 

“It’s my fault! I did this to you!” 

You exclaim through tears and his eyes soften even more as he’s looking at you – beautifully, breathtaking, you. 

“Baby, this is not your fault.” 

His eyes are pleading when he says it, because he needs you to believe it. But he knows that deep down you don’t. He knows that he has to hold you until your cries quiet down and he does. He gathers you in his strong arms, which is all you really ever want in time like these, and he whispers soothing words into your ear as he pets your hair. He wants so badly to kiss the top of your head – marking it as another thing the brace has taken from him.

“Hey – sweet girl. I love you, you know that don’t you?” 

He asks after a while and he feels you nod your head yes against his chest. But, that’s not enough, he needs to show you. 

“Look at me, baby.” 

He commands softly and you oblige; locking eyes with him. He can see that you are longing for his touch but want to cower away, that your mind and body are in a balancing act of conflicting emotions. 

“I’m sorry.” 

You whisper. 

“You don’t have to be, don’t need to be sorry, dream girl. You haven’t done anything wrong. Do I need to show you that?” 

He asks, tucking your hair behind your ears. You can’t find the words as you take your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“Words, please.” 

He says, though he knows that your body language is giving him a resounding – yes, please do that. 

“Yes.” 

It’s a whisper – but a whisper is all he needs. 

“I’m gonna need you to help me, okay sweet girl? Can you do what you're told, angel?” 

You nod your head vigorously in response. 

“I know you can, cause you’re a good girl aren’t you?” 

He asks with a bit more dominance, though his tone is the softest you’ve ever heard it in the decade that you’ve been his. 

“Y-yeah – you think so?” 

The question surprises him but your doe eyes don’t. In fact, he relishes in your need for him and his praise. 

“You’re a good girl – my sweet girl.” 

He coos and your eyes twinkle at the praises as they enter your ears and make contact with your brain. He can see the moment they do and he’s thankful that you still react to him this way after so many years, especially while he looks like this. 

“Lift up for me and take it out.” 

He instructs and you oblige, sitting back on his knees and pulling his pants down his thighs just enough that neither one of you will make a mess all over them in a few minutes time. 

“Rafe – are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” 

There’s not a sight more beautiful in the world he’s convinced as he looks at you; doe eyes looking to him for further instruction. 

“I’m sure, sweetheart. You’re not gonna hurt me. I’ll just need you to do the work this time, okay?” 

You nod into a sweet smile, leaning in and kissing him deeper than you ever have before. His lips taste like mint and cinnamon, like they always do and by the time you’re needing air, your chest is heaving. You’re not sure what it is; maybe the idea that he was almost taken from you forever, but your skin is itching. It feels more like you’ve been struck by lightning and every time he touches you it only seems to get worse. There’s no need for foreplay this time, the kiss – his fucking kiss – does you in and you’re wetter than you’ve ever been in your life. There’s no time for pleasantries, so you do what comes natural to you, you rip your own clothes off and sink down onto him. 

“Holy shit!”

He groans and squeals simultaneously. 

“You okay?”

You ask, breathless before you’ve even uttered a thrust against him. 

“I’m perfect!” 

He groans again as you adjust to him. 

“Good.”

You grunt out and begin moving up and down slowly, which soon turns into a pace that neither of you have ever tried before. He basks in the beauty of you bouncing in front of him and for a moment he’s thankful that he can’t see below your tits as they bounce vigorously up and down in front of him. 

“God – you’re so wet baby.” 

He mutters breathlessly as he grips your hips. You’re doing something interesting, the curve of your hips as you move – it’s like you’re writing in cursive and it’s enough to send him over the edge. It does send him over the edge and you follow closely behind at the squeal of his name. 

“Rafey – I love you.” 

You whisper, resting your head against his chest as you come down from the electricity of it all. 

“I love you more, dream girl.” 

He whispers back. Suddenly, it feels less heavy and you’re thankful that you seem to have him, you really have him. He’s in your arms, he’s real and you’re never letting him out of your sight again. 

“Don’t ever leave me.” 

You whisper, after what seems like forever laying there, just as he’s fallen asleep under you. Though you know he never would, not voluntarily at least. 

taglist:

@givemylovetoall @whore-4-drewstarkey @darleneslane @fangirlwithlou @mvybanks @wildflwrdarlin @itsalexwin @indigoreccs @drdbnkl2008 @withbeautyandrage @glutenfreepeach @lovedetlost @penny4yourthoughts @rafesmoon @promiscuousbarnes @cecesrings @whoisdrewstarkey @writtenwordslover @taintedxkisses @antagonize-me-motherfucker @outerbankspov @hydrngea @jjasen @lcvelylies @loverofdrewstarkey @haunted-gaze @congratsloserr @madelynie

Time after Time pt 2 | R.C

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: When your boyfriend ditches you on the night of senior prom you end up running into the last person you would ever expect to see, Rafe Cameron, your best friends older brother who you haven't seen since he left for college three years ago… (part two, part one is here)

flashbacks are in italics.

_______

The morning’s warm sunlight poured through the gap in the curtains, burning the back of your eyelids and you groaned in your sleep flipping over to avoid the glare. There was a dull throbbing in your temples that you tried desperately to ignore as you burrowed into the warmth of the pillow below you. You were dreaming that you were cuddling a huge teddy bear and you felt so content and cosy that you never wanted to wake up. Unfortunately your headache was beginning to build, your peaceful sleep all but being drained away. 

“What time is it?” You wondered out loud, voice thick with sleep, slowly trying to blink open eyelids that felt like they were being weighed down by led bricks.

“About 9” a voice right above your head replied - a male voice - and your whole body tensed. You suddenly became aware that the warmth beneath your head was not in fact a pillow but a chest, a shirtless chest. 

In a flash you’d sat up, ignoring the burning in your head as you stared wide eyed at the man laying below you. Surely this was a dream, it had to be because there was no way that Rafe goddamn Cameron was laying shirtless in bed with you. Your half asleep hazy mind couldn’t make sense of it.

“You’re not a teddy bear” you blurted out then clapped a hand in horror over your mouth as Rafe choked on a laugh.

“Not since last time I checked.”

You winced and absentmindedly pressed your fingers into your temples “okay okay” you said trying to inject some faux control into your voice “i'm going to close my eyes and when I open them again i'm going to be in my room instead of yours and you’re not going to be there.” 

You quickly screwed your eyes shut again pressing your palms over them before taking a deep breath, counting to 3 and moving your hand away.

Rafe was still there, propped up lazily by his elbow smirking at you as he tried to contain his laughter.

“Boo” he said suddenly, snorting when you jumped. 

“Not funny!” you reached out to swipe playfully at his chest but he caught your wrist before it could make contact, the subtle pressure of his fingers on your skin making butterflies erupt in your gut and you pulled away quickly hoping your cheeks wouldn’t betray a flush. 

He rolled over then leaning to get something out of his nightstand and you swallowed, stealing a glance at him while his back was turned. He was clad in only grey sweatpants and your eyes shamelessly roved over the powerful muscles in his back extending into his biceps. 

Despite the fact that he’d evidently just woke up, he looked unreasonably attractive. His eyes hooded with sleep giving off an effortlessly sultry look and his mussed up hair looking even better than when he carefully styled it. How could someone look that gorgeous just after waking up? You hardly thought it was fair you always woke up looking like you’d been dragged through a bush. 

It suddenly occurred to you that you had no idea what you looked like right now and you grimaced. You stood up from the bed and made your way over to his en suite. 

You were relieved to see you were fully clothed, still wearing your prom dress in fact and that Rafe while being shirtless had a pair of sweatpants on.

You sank down to the corner of bed pressing your palm into your temples “what in the world happened last night?”

Rafe chuckled again and wordlessly passed you a bottle of water and an aspirin.

“You don’t remember?”

You screwed your eyes shut again and groaned “gimme a moment.”

Rafe laughed, “take your aspirin, it'll take the edge off of hangover but you should eat something too.”

You nodded but made no move to take it, choosing instead to press the cold surface of the water bottle to your temple, the condensation soothing the dull ache. 

“Let me guess,” Rafe said teasingly, “ you still can’t take pills? Should I have hid it in a spoon of jelly or something?”

Your skin flushed with embarrassment as you opened your eyes to glare at him “I am not twelve anymore, I can’t believe you even remember that.” 

“I remember everything about you Ace.”

A smile tugged at your lips and you looked down choosing to take the aspirin to avoid catching his eye, you didn’t know what to say or how to react when he said things like that it still felt surreal that he was even here. 

“Remember anything yet?”

“Mmm” you nodded through a gulp of water, memories of last night were beginning to trickle in now that the fogginess of sleep was ebbing away. You remembered meeting Rafe on the sidewalk, him daring you to get on the bike, you remembered how he’d missed the turn in for your street and taken you to an ice cream place instead. 

“One scoop strawberry, one scoop vanilla, sprinkles and raspberry sauce?”

You stared at him incredulously for a moment “how the hell did you know that?”

He shrugged “I was always the sucker you and Sarah would rope into running to the ice cream van remember? And the one who had to drive you here every weekend after I got my licence.”

You smiled at the memory, so many weekends spent at your best friend's house, your mom used to joke you spent more time there than at home. You remembered all the candy you and Sarah would stockpile to bribe Rafe with and the ice creams he’d come running back with, two in each hand, half melted in the baking summer sun vanilla dripping down his fingers. 

“Still that was like a million years ago.”

“Feels like yesterday sometimes” he said and you couldn’t help but agree, sometimes it felt like if you closed your eyes you could still taste the summer days of your youth on the tip of your tongue. 

“I'll be right back”  Rafe said and you nodded sitting back on the low brick wall as you watched him approach the little building. The ice cream parlour was closing up but you knew Rafe, he could probably sweet talk his way into the white house. Predictably the employee working that night had no trouble getting two last ice creams for you both, he’d been on the football team with Rafe in high school and you could hear them reminiscing as his old friend made up your orders. 

You tuned them out as you waited, choosing to face the beach so that you could watch the sea. It was dark and the moonlight reflected silvery grey on the tips of the surf, there was something mesmerising about each pull of the waves on the shore and you found yourself lost in thought. 

“Hey” Rafe said, nudging you with his elbow and you jumped making him laugh “you were away with the fairies.”

“Yeah I was sorry.” You took the ice cream from his outstretched hand resisting the urge to shiver when your fingertips grazed his warm knuckle. 

“What were you thinking about?” 

You shrugged “nothing really.”

He raised his eyebrows “tell me you weren’t thinking about that loser…because I can still beat his ass.”

You laughed “not exactly when he’s thousands of miles away.”

Rafe smirked, “I can drive.”

You snorted “Rafe Cameron you’re crazy…”

He looked at you seriously for a moment. “I just think what he did was really shitty and I don’t want your night to be ruined thinking about that waste of space jackass.”

“Rafe…” you reached out and touched his arm “I wasn’t even thinking about him” come to think of it your shitty ex boyfriend had barely crossed your mind since you’d run into Rafe “you’re a good distraction.”

He smirked, “that's what all the girls say.”

“Rafe!” you gasped smacking his arm lightly as he laughed. 

You lapsed into a quiet contemplative silence as you ate your ice creams and you trailed your feet in the soft sand below. 

“Thank you,” you said after a moment.

“For what?”

“For distracting me, for making sure my prom night isn’t a complete disaster.”

He knocked his shoulder into yours “it was my pleasure ace.” Then he reached across with his little plastic spoon and stole a swipe of your ice cream.

“Hey!” you protested “that’s mine”

He locked eyes with you as he popped the spoon into his mouth, grin intact and you pouted.

“Thief.”

“I just wanted to try it,” he said, “mine's still better by the way.”

You rolled your eyes “pistachio? That's like the worst flavour.”

“You’ve never tried it” he accused you, pointing his spoon and you gasped.

“Yes I have!” 

“I knew it,” he laughed, “you're lying.”

You shook your head.

“You are,” he insisted “you did the thing.”

“What thing?” you asked sulkily.

“The thing you always do when you’re lying, like the time you and Sarah broke my xbox controller and said it was baby Wheezie.”

“I always wondered how you knew that was us! You laughed “so what is my tell?”

Rafe smirked “and give up my leverage? No way.”

You scoffed “shut up dork” and he held out his spoon.

“Try it.”

You looked at him for half a second contemplating it before quickly eating the ice cream. The flavour of pistachio burst across your tongue but you found to your surprise that you didn’t hate it, in fact it was delicious. 

Rafe smirked, “I knew you’d like it.”

“I didn’t even say anything yet!” you protested.

He shrugged, “you’re an open book.”

“No im not” you pouted and he leaned in, just a fraction closer but it was enough that you could feel the heat of his body against the cold sea breeze.

“You always have been to me” he whispered and you felt it, the electricity between the two of you humming in the air. It was palpable, the tension thick enough that you felt like you could reach out and touch it.

“Rafe” you whispered, he was looking at you in a way he’d never looked at you before, blue eyes so intense “Rafe -”

He leaned in closer, head angling just a fraction and you held your breath in anticipation when -

The shutters of the ice cream place slammed down and you jolted away from each other “nice to see you man!” Clay called out to Rafe as he walked to his car and Rafe’s jaw stiffened as he lifted a hand in goodbye. 

The moment - or whatever it had been, you weren’t even sure - was over and you coughed awkwardly and jumped off the wall. You needed a little breather from his proximity, you could still smell his cologne on the borrowed jacket around your shoulders and that was intoxicating enough. 

Your heels were still strapped around your wrists and the sand felt cold between your toes as you walked across the beach. It took Rafe less than two strides to catch up, damn him and his long legs. You walked in silence for a while, just watching the moonlight on the ocean until he broke it. 

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

You sighed, swinging your heels. “Prom” you admitted, you’d been trying not to think about it but you couldn’t help but feel sad, this was not how your night was supposed to be. You felt stupid for being so upset but you’d been dreaming of this night for so long and it was supposed to be the last hurrah for high school. You might not have loved every second of high school but you’d spent a lot of time there and it was sad that it had to end with the shitty memory of sitting on the sidelines all night watching your classmates dance and have fun. 

Rafe looked at you sideways, quiet as he thought about something. “I have an idea,” he said finally.

“What is it?” you asked and he smiled.

“It's a surprise…do you trust me?”

You’d known Rafe practically your whole life, he was your best friend's annoying older brother and you’d loved him in secret for years, you didn’t even have to think about it. “Yes” you whispered and took his outstretched hand. 

The ride back home felt like flying, your arms wrapped around Rafe’s torso, your head pressed into his back. You could feel the wind dancing through your hair, see the stars soaring overhead. 

Before you knew it you were at Tanny hill, the infamous residence of the Camerons. You’d pretty much grown up here, spending all your free time with Sarah, but you’d never come here with just Rafe before. 

“What are we doing?” You asked as you dismounted the bike but Rafe just tapped a finger to his lips. 

“Shhh,” he whispered, pointing silently upwards. Rose and Ward’s bedroom was right above you shrouded in darkness. 

The garden was dimly lit, the distant fairy lights adorning the trees lining the edge of the property providing the only light. Truthfully you’d walked the path up to this house enough times that you could probably do it blindfolded in your sleep but when Rafe held his hand out to guide you up the path you couldn’t help but take it. 

His fingertips were only lightly threaded through yours but you wondered if he could feel your pulse hammering in your wrists. The anticipation was almost more than you could bear. Too wrapped up in thinking about the smell of Rafe’s cologne and the mystery of his plan you tripped on a dislodged stone. Before you could even think about hitting the ground Rafe’s arms were around you, holding you upright. 

“You okay?” He whispered and your heart beat even louder. He was so close, close enough that you could probably count his eyelashes even in the low moonlight.

You nodded and he smiled, choosing to take a hold of your whole hand this time as he led you up the path. It was cold yet somehow you felt like you’d never been warmer, your whole being on fire with every glance, every touch.

Finally you reached the house and Rafe let the two of you into the spare garage where the soundproof walls assured that your voices wouldn’t be heard. 

“So are you finally going to reveal this grand idea of yours?” You asked. 

The corners of his mouth lifted up “I’m not letting go of my cards that easily ace.”

You laughed “I’m starting to think your plan is to murder me, what’s with all the secrey?”

He grinned, teeth flashing “you said you trusted me.” 

You rolled your eyes but didn’t deny it, you did. You’d known Rafe Cameron so long and though you’d not always been close the two of you would always have shared memories, shared experiences. You’d always have time and that meant something. 

Rafe led you up to his room, taking your hand once more in the dark corridors and you had to press a hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter as he dramatically acted out a spy mission to make you laugh. “Coasts clear” he whispered in your ear before slowly moving around the wall. 

“You’re a dork,” you whispered back.

In his room Rafe gestured for you to take a seat on his bed. “I need twenty minutes” he said “to set it all up, then I promise I'll reveal it all.” 

“Okay” you said “i'll wait.”

He raised his eyebrow “that’s it? No begging, no more questions?”

You smirked “nope, I get twenty minutes to snoop at all your stuff…find out all your deepest darkest secrets Rafe Cameron.”

He rolled his eyes “good luck” he said and then swiftly left the room. 

For the first five minutes you sat on his bed just waiting but time always seems to move slower when you’re in anticipation and soon you couldn’t take it anymore. At first you checked Instagram, shooting off a like at Sarah’s latest post prom selfie featuring John B, resisting the urge to check your exes social media. Then you put your phone down and tried to wait again. But curiosity got the better of you. Is it wrong if you told him you were going to do it? Fuck it. A little bit of light snooping wouldn’t hurt. 

Rafe’s room was almost suspended in time. It was pretty much entirely as he’d left it before leaving for college so the pictures and books were slightly outdated but still him. The basketball hoop on the wall, the old forgotten guitar from his musical phase. The surfboard still chipped from that one party where Kelsey Stevens had tripped and knocked a keg into it. Above the desk were several old snapshots.Topper and Kelce with their arms slung around him, his dad and him on a fishing trip, two of Wheezie one when she was a baby and little Rafe was holding her and one newer selfie with their tongues sticking out. What shocked you though was the photo of you. It was taken at Rafe’s highschool graduation. You and Sarah smirking at Rafe and giving him the finger except you were standing in front of Sarah who was slightly out of frame so the picture was mostly only you. You couldn’t believe he’d kept it and put it on his wall, that he’d even thought about you back then enough to think the photo worth printing. 

“Hey” Rafe said as he came back into the room “what are you doing?” 

“Nothing” you lied trying to look casual bracing against the wood.

He raised his eyebrow and you could tell he didn’t believe you, once more you wondered what your tell was but he shrugged it off before you could ask.

“Come on,” he said, “the surprise is ready.”

You were led back to the garage and Rafe stood behind you as you reached out for the door handle, slipping his hand over your eyes.

“3, 2, 1…okay you can open them” he said, taking his hand away. 

Slowly you blinked open your eyes and instantly fought the tears that sprung to the surface. The garage was covered in silky blue and purple streamers, the floor dotted with balloons. It was like you’d opened your eyes and stepped into the past and you could almost see the tiny younger versions of you and Sarah playing ‘prom’. 

“Oh my god” you whispered.

“Do you like it?” Rafe asked, sounding a little more uncertain than his usual cocky self. 

You laughed, still in disbelief “do I like it…Rafe I love it, did you really do all this for me?”

He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly “yeah I mean…yeah I wanted you to have a prom more like the one you deserved and I know it's nothing special but at least this way it's yours” he swallowed “kinda stupid I know but -”

You cut off his ramble by throwing your arms around his neck “it's not stupid” you murmured into his shirt as you blinked away the tears “it's perfect…who ever knew you could be this sweet Rafe Cameron.”

You felt the laughter in his chest as you pulled away to look at him “I guess i've just always had a soft spot for you ace” he said tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, his eyes were so blue and so soft that for a moment you froze and the air was thick with tension between the two of you until rafe cleared his throat. “But erm don’t tell anyone or anything don’t wanna risk ruining my tough guy reputation” he joked and you rolled your eyes. 

“Il get some drinks” he said and you wandered around the garage looking around the decoration. You remembered the streamers, the paper parasol, the silver hanging stars like it were yesterday. “Prom” had been your favourite game and you and Sarah would beg and beg Mr Cameron to put up the decorations. Sometimes he made Rafe do it and Rafe would grumble and complain, wishing to go back to some video game or his skateboard. It was fun to think about what your reaction would have been back then if you’d have known that one day Rafe would voluntarily put these up for you. 

While you were looking the music started and you laughed when you heard the song. Back in the day you had the highest just dance score to this, it was shocking and exhilarating all at once to know that Rafe had held onto all these tiny little details about you, that he’d even noticed them in the first place. 

“Still know the moves Ace?” he called out, half teasing smirk present on your face and you flipped him off. 

“I'm gonna need a couple of drinks before we get into that, Cameron.”

He smirked “you’re in luck” and held up a bottle of champagne that looked like it cost more than your car. 

“Rafe!” your eyes widened “where the hell did you get that from.”

“Wine cellar” he shrugged “they won’t notice it’s gone.”

You hesitated “it looks expensive…”

“Oh c’mon” he said “it’s your prom night live a little.”

You bit your lip, you weren’t adverse to drinking it was more so the idea of stealing one of Ward and Rose’s premium celebration champagne bottles but there was something about Rafe that made you wanna throw caution to the wind. This was your prom night, the last night of your adolescent life before you were thrown into a whole new world of college parties and guys and cities you wouldn’t remember.  It was the night you’d looked forward to your whole life and your stupid ex had ruined it…well you weren’t going to let him.

“Oh what the hell” you said and took the bottle from his hand. 

The first sip of champagne was sweet and fruity as it fizzed on your tongue and you giggled as you passed the bottle back. This was where the memory of the night got a little hazy, you remembered drinking the bottle fairly fast and then convincing Rafe that you needed to spike the punch “it's the classic prom experience.”

After that there was a lot of dancing with your hands in your hair, hips swinging, a lot of laughter echoing over the music, a lot of stories from both you and Rafe of the things that had happened while you’d been out of each other's lives. 

“No fucking way he crashed a yacht” you said “how does that even happen? bull shit Cameron.”

He held his hands up in a surrender position “im deadass, that's not even the wildest thing he did…college is kinda next level.”

You laughed into the rim of your cup “yeah…i'm excited for it.”

He arched his brow “are you sure about that? You didn’t sound so enthusiastic.”

You sighed and flapped your arm down dramatically “no no I am it’s just…” you’d not said this aloud before but the alcohol and the fact that there was just something about Rafe that made you want to open up. You’d known him your whole life and while he’d always been a little wild, a little unpredictable he felt like home to you. 

“I'm scared” you admitted.

He turned to face you, long legs brushing the bare skin showing through the slit of your dress “why?” he asked “the whole time ive known you you’ve always dreamed of the future” he nudged your arm gesturing around you “about prom, about your first kiss, about high school…hell I even remember you being excited about your first job at the country club. what's different about this?” 

You swallowed, not quite meeting his eye and he reached out and touched your hand “you can trust me” he whispered “I won’t tell.” 

“It wasn’t what I thought it would be” you blurted out “I I -” the anger and the sadness and the inexplicable feeling that you could never go back burst over you and it all came out at once, the emotion thick and raw in your voice  “I dreamed and I dreamed my whole - fucking - life and nothing ever worked out like it was supposed to. I mean look at tonight, the dream boyfriend, the dream prom and he turned out to be a cheating asshole and I left the prom in tears.” Your voice turned to defeat as a single tear slipped out “I - I just sometimes wonder what's the point in dreaming anymore? And then I'm scared because I don’t know what’s gonna happen…nothing happens how it’s supposed to.”

“Look at me” Rafe murmured and his voice was softer than you’d ever heard it before, you looked up and he used the pad of his thumb to gently swipe the tear away “you’re right, nothing happens how it’s supposed to. I was supposed to join Cameron Enterprises yet when I finish college next year? I'm telling my dad I'm doing something else.”

You wrinkle your brow “but - wasn’t that your dream? Did you fail an -”

He cut you off “I could join dads company tomorrow if I wanted to, that was my dream but not anymore.” he squeezed your hand, voice still uncharacteristically soft “life changes all the time ace and sometimes it’s fucking scary but we just get new dreams, new things to hope for and sometimes they come true and sometimes they’re not what we thought they’d be but they always lead to new things. So high school wasn’t what you thought, so your boyfriend wasn’t what you thought, well maybe college and maybe the next guy lucky enough to have your heart will be 1000% times better but how will you know if you give up on it all before it even begins.”

For a moment you were quite mulling over his words and you found that some of the fear and anxiety squeezing your heart relented, the tension easing out of your body. “When did you get so wise Rafe Cameron” you sighed.

“Don’t be fooled” he winked “I'm still an idiot.”

You threw a hand over your heart “was that a confession? Can I get that in writing?” 

“Shut up” he said and then you shrieked as he pulled you suddenly to your feet. “Dance with me.”

You’d been dancing all night but never touching. “Okay” you said a little nervously, looping your arms around his shoulders, he wrapped his around your waist. The song was still quite upbeat, the dance not as intimate as a slow dance yet your heart hammered in your chest. 

You danced for three more songs, Rafe spinning you around like crazy until your insides hurt from laughing. Finally the song changed and your face lit up as you instantly recognised it as fool's gold by one direction. Rafe groaned, all too familiar with the song from the many times you and Sarah would belt it on the old tinny karaoke machine. 

Too drunk to be embarrassed you instantly launched into the performance, singing all the lyrics wholeheartedly while Rafe pretended to be exacerbated by the song, trying to hide how adorable he thought you were singing it. 

“C’mon” you shouted “I know you love it, sing along!”

“I don’t even know the lyrics” he lied but you dragged on his hand.

“Liar…you have a tell.”

He rolled his eyes “no you, have a tell.”

“Shut up” you laughed “c’mon sing don’t be boring.”

You sang the opening lines of the final chorus while Rafe stood stubbornly “And yes, I let you use me from the day that we first met…But I'm not done yet, Falling for you, fool's gooooold.”

You pointed to him dramatically then to your utter surprise and delight he (un-enthusiastically) sang the final lines “And I knew that you turned it on for everyone you've met. But I don't regret falling for you, fool's gold.”

“I knew you knew it!” you laughed clapping your hands together. 

“Whatever, whatever, I did it but now you owe me a slow dance.”

“What?” you protested “no, no, I didn’t agree to that!” you’d been artfully dodging slow dances all night, scared of your two left feet. 

“It's only fair” he said and before you could protest further he’d reached out and practically scooped you into his arms. You wrapped one hand in his, the other around his shoulder while his came onto your waist and laid your head on his chest.

“If I tread on your toes it’s your fault” you grumbled and you felt his laughter against your ear. 

It was then that you noticed the song playing “Time after time” by Cindy Lauper. It was a prom classic and as kids you’d danced with Sarah to it a million times “practising” for the real thing with your boyfriends. Tonight you’d watched Sarah and John B dance to it, her smile and joy radiant while you waited for a text back from your stupid ex. You’d have never dreamed all those years ago that you’d end your own prom night in the arms of her older brother dancing to this song. You’d dreamed of dancing with a million guys but somehow you knew none of it would have felt as perfect, as magical as this.

Laupers voice rang clear throughout the garage, the few balloons that had survived the earlier balloon fight kicking at your feet. “Suitcase of memories'' and your brain flashed through all the thousands of memories, the history you had with Rafe that had led you to here. 

The music continued 

‘If you're lost, you can look and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting’

You thought about how Rafe had shown up tonight when you were wandering feeling lost and alone. You thought about how earlier you’d been so close to falling into panic and his words had caught you, made you feel safe. It was just like the song, really your whole life he’d always been there in some way or another, time after time. 

“Rafe?” you whispered looking up from his chest. Your faces were so close you could count his eyelashes.

“Yeah?” his hot breath fanned your cheek, blue eyes clear and serious.

“Thank you for finding me tonight.”

His thumb brushed your cheek, grazing the corner of your lips “ it’s nothing” he said humbly but you shook your head.

“No no I -” you swallowed “I'm glad my prom was ruined.”

His eyebrow shot up and he opened his mouth but you cut him off “don’t look at me like that I am, because otherwise I wouldn’t have been here with you and this has been way better than any real prom could have been, way more special.”

He smiled, not his usual edge of the mouth smirk but a real bright smile “you know I didn’t really know where I was going when I found you on the side of that road” he brushed your cheek again, this time catching your lip and you couldn’t take your eyes off of him if you tried “and I don’t really believe in destiny or all that bullshit but…” his eyes softened and he leaned just a fraction closer “I can’t help but feel like I was supposed to be there to meet you, like being here right now is exactly where i'm supposed to be.” 

You laughed “me too” you admitted “me too…undreamed, unplanned, unexpected and somehow it's better than all the dreams.”

“Ace” he said your nickname with a slight urgency like his mind was moving faster than normal like he was trying to convince himself to do something.

“What is it?”

“Look up.”

You barely had a second to angle your chin before his lips were on yours and it only took a second more for you to respond and kiss him back. 

His lips were softer than you’d have thought and warm. The kiss was gentle and sweet and as you pulled away you both laughed part in shock and part in relief. “Was that okay?” he asked and you smiled.

“Kiss me again so I can be sure.”

This time, he kissed you like he meant it and you could taste the spiked punch on his tongue as his teeth grazed your bottom lip and the song pulled to a close.

Pulling yourself from your memories you turned to see Rafe looking at you from his position on the bed “why are you looking at me like that?” you asked shyly and he grinned.

“You have spinach in your teeth.”

“What?” your hand flew up to your mouth in a panic before your brain caught up that you’d not even eaten spinach and you rolled your eyes and threw a cushion from the floor at him. “Asshole.”

He laughed “sorry that was just too easy.”

“Whatever whatever.”

He raised his eyebrow “memories come back now?” 

You smiled, picking at a thread on the carpet “yeah…” you said softly “guess I just needed a min to come round.”

Rafe swallowed “do you still want to -” 

His question was cut off by a pounding on the door “Rafe get up!” Wheezie called “breakfast is ready!”

You both jumped looking at each other slightly startled. You’d not had time to tell Sarah anything yet, only just getting a chance to text your mom that you were staying at Sarah’s before you and Rafe crashed asleep tired from the partying. 

“Shit” you muttered “Sarah’s gonna kill me.”

“C’mon” Rafe grabbed your hand, pulling you up from the floor “i'll sneak you out.”

You tiptoed down the hallways of the Cameron house, trying not to laugh too loudly at Rafe when he acted out mission impossible sneaking round the bannister.

“You’re such a dork” you whispered and he squeezed your fingers.

“Just for you Ace.”

___________________

At the breakfast table Wheezie Cameron sat down next to her sister. 

“Did you shout your brother?” Ward asked and she nodded. He gave her a nod of his own before turning back to his conversation with Rose. She waited until they were thoroughly distracted before nudging Sarah’s knee under the table. 

“Rafes trying to sneak a girl out of his room” she whispered and Sarah’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

“Really? How d’ya know?”

“I heard them whispering before I shouted him.”

Sarah pulled a face “gross.” They stared at each other for five seconds and then burst out laughing, both dashing for the door in an attempt to see the girl Rafe was sneaking out.

____________________

You’d just reached the side door, Rafe reaching over to open it for you when the door to the kitchen burst open. 

You stood frozen like a deer in the headlights staring right into the eyes of your best friend and her little sister. 

Sarah’s mouth flopped open and you swallowed “hey s…”

“My brother?” she shrieked “my brother and you didn’t tell me?”

You caught Rose snickering into her orange juice behind them, Ward’s eyebrow raised in playful amusement. Wheezie looked as though she wanted a bowl of popcorn.

“I was gonna call you but -” 

She cut you off with another high pitched shriek “my brother? My brother and my best friend?”

You gulped and glanced at Rafe “erm i'm gonna go, Sarah il call you I promise!”

You got halfway down the steps when Rafe reached out and grabbed your arm “wait!” he shouted and you turned to face him.

“I never got to ask you…now that it’s morning do you still wanna go on that date we talked about last night?”

Your heart swelled “i'd love to…if, if you still wanna go that is.”

Rafe grinned and stepped closer “i'll be dreaming of it.”

“Sap” you teased, he glanced back at his family before muttering “fuck it they already know” and leaning down and kissing you. 

Butterflies soared in your stomach and you were so wrapped up in Rafe that you didn’t even hear Sarah say excitedly “wait! If they get married she’d really be my sister!” 

THE SUN + THE SAND - PART ONE - ORIGINS

↳PAIRING: bff!rafe cameron x fem!reader

↳SUMMARY: you have a stalker, but your best friend rafe won't let anything happen to you, even if he has to come clean about how he really feels.

↳ [1k] WARNINGS: 18+, mature themes, smut, kidnapping, violence, hurt/comfort, bestie!rafe (he's a very sexy warning), soft + awkward rafe, rude + protective rafe, best friends to lovers, reader is a little naive, DARK!JJ, John B (he's kind of a fuckboy), sexual assault, intense sexual themes, drunkenness, angst, mentions of domestic violence, insecurity, violence, mentions of near-death accident, hospitalization, serious injury, etc.

↳A/N: this is a repost from my old blog @tee-swizzle. all of my works are being reposted to this one + the previous blog has been deactivated.♡

Rafe sat in the cab of his midnight blue ford, he felt the engine rumble through the leather of the seat he sat in. His fingers tapped in annoyance against the steering wheel as he waited for you. Your phone call was nothing short of the usual as you begged him sweetly to come scoop you up from your latest sexual escapade – John B Routledge. The first time, he had thought it was a fling, with you, it always was. He knew deep down, once you had your fair share of what a pogue could offer you; nothing, you’d settle down with Topper and spend your days the way you were meant to. He held out hope that this was a phase and nothing more. But, the more times you had asked him to pick you from the cut in the middle of the night, the more worried he got. The more times he did this with you, the more worried he was that you were falling in love. The thought destroyed him; he couldn’t blame John B, really; you were the most beautiful thing the island had ever seen with a personality to match. You spent your time chasing baby turtles through the sand for crying out loud and as much as he loved you, he knew that if he didn’t deserve the goodness of your heart, neither did John B. Rafe was brought out of his thoughts as his passenger door swung open and your ruby red lips were the first thing he took in as they wrapped themselves around a solo cup. 

“You cause enough trouble, today?” 

He said, giggling as he took you in, the glimmer of your eyes sending shivers down his spine, as it always had. You climbed into the truck with a giggle as you placed your back against the warmth of the heated leather. He knew you’d be cold as the October wind brushed against your tan legs. 

“Enough for the both of us.” 

You replied, giving him the bright smile he was so desperate to see all day. He grabbed your hand, pulling the cup from your hands, sniffing it and grimacing. 

“What the fuck are you drinking?” 

He asked incredulously. 

“I don’t know, one of John’s friend’s made it for me. It tastes like jungle juice.” 

You replied, giggling. 

“What did I tell you about taking drinks from strangers, huh?” 

 He growled. 

“Okay, grump pants. I thought I was fine. John was there. I was handling it.” 

You replied, shrugging your shoulders. 

“How many times do I have to tell you that John B doesn’t have your best interest at heart, sweetheart? You don’t know him well enough to be drinking around him. Not every guy will be as good to you as me, Topper, and Kelce.”

You rolled your eyes as Rafe finished his sentence and he threw the drink out the window, watching as the recycled plastic rolled against the grass. 

“Rafe! I’m thirsty, dammit!” 

He threw the truck in reverse, one hand on the back of your seat. You admired him, as you always did; the yellow t-shirt that hugged his muscles and the backwards cap that sat against his perfectly sculpted face. Rafe was something out of a magazine and you were no stranger to that, but he was also your best friend and it would have to stay that way. 

“I know you are.” 

He replied simply. You continued to watch him as he drove, the muscles of his forearm contracting every time he moved his arms. By the time he pulled into the gas station, you realized you were in a trance, a common occurrence when you were in his presence. There was a reason you called him instead of your other two stooges late at night. Maybe he knew or maybe he didn’t. Rafe stepped down from the truck, moving toward the gas pump and inserting his debit card before inserting the pump into his truck and waiting until it stopped. He made his way around the car only moments later and opened your door. 

“What are you doing?” 

You questioned him with furrowed eyebrows as he grabbed your hand and eased you down from the height of his truck. 

“I’m buying my favorite girl a slushie, what are you doing?” 

He replied, playfully and you smiled as you walked beside him. Once you finished the journey across the parking lot, Rafe stepped ahead of you and you wanted to punch him for it at first. That is, until he held the door open and you walked through the door of the gas station. He was kind with you and you never tell anyone the version of him that you go to see. You’d never tell anyone that the big, bad, Rafe Cameron had a heart of gold. You’d never tell anyone he was a big ol’ teddy bear deep down. You followed him to the slushie machine, where he lifted the knob, pouring the red liquid into your cup and the blue into his. You thought the color variations were interesting and a tell of how different the two of you really were – fire and ice, warmth and hostility, all wrapped in one blanket to mend together two people who couldn’t live without the other. 

The two of you exited the store together, retreating back to his truck before you spoke again. He handed you his iced beverage, the polar bear on the outside of it reminding of your childhood. Rafe knew this and he knew that’s why you loved slushies, yet it perplexed him why you only shared them with him. He placed the keys in the ignition, turning them over as the engine roared to life. You compared a lot of things to Rafe, almost every boy, every scenario, every situation. Yet, none of those things made you feel as alive as five minutes alone with him. You wondered if he knew. You wondered if he was capable of understanding that he held the key to the diary of you. You handed him his slushie and he gave you a smile as he watched you put your seatbelt on, knowing he had no intentions of going anywhere any time soon. 

“What are you smiling at?” 

You questioned him, returning the sentiment. 

“Just how crazy you are.” 

He replied, chuckling and watched as your eyes lit up as you sucked the cold bits of your beverage through the straw. 

“You always rescue me from my crazy antics, though, so I'd say it's worth it.” 

You said, struggling your shoulders and continuing to slurp down the cold goodness. 

“Who was there tonight?” 

He questioned, his tone turning serious, though doing his best to keep it light enough to avoid your suspicious gaze. 

“Me and John b and some of the other pogues.” 

You replied. 

“What other pogues?” 

He asked with more edge in his voice. 

“Uh, I don't know. That JJ kid I think and pope.”

You answered him, wondering why he had that scared look in his eye. 

“Who made you the drink?” 

He questioned. 

“Why, Rafe? Why does it matter?” 

He rolled his eyes at your question. You couldn’t be this naive, he thought. You couldn’t be this careless. 

“Because it just does! How the hell am I supposed to protect you if I don’t know who you’re hanging around when you call me at three in the morning?” 

He grunted out, throwing his head back in exasperation. 

“Oh, uhm. JJ. He made the drink. Listen —, I’m uh, I’m sorry for calling a lot. I won’t call anymore, I didn’t mean to make you upset.” 

You swallowed thickly after the words spilled out of your mouth in a sense of urgency. You only called because you wanted to see him and you knew he’d come. But, you didn’t think about how selfish that was until right now. You fiddled with the hem of your shirt. 

“Sweetheart, no. I always want you to call. I just — I need to know you’re safe and JJ Maybank is not safe, okay?” 

You nodded in response. 

“What do you mean he isn’t safe, Rafe?” 

You never questioned Rafe; not when it came to things of importance. But, you felt the need to now and you weren’t sure why. 

“He has a reputation with girls, okay? All you need to know is that he’s not safe and I’m not gonna tell you not to spend time with John B, I know you wouldn’t listen. So, from now on, I don’t care what’s going on, if you’re uncomfortable, you fucking call me, yeah?” 

His tone was laced with venom. 

“Yeah” 

You responded, swallowing thickly before laying your head on his shoulder. You knew no matter what that Rafe would always take care of you and you’d do the same for him. 

taglist: (just copy + pasted my regular tags! if you'd like to be added or removed, please let me know!)

@promiscuousbarnes @cecesrings @slut4starkey @banksreigns @itsalexwin @scenesofobx @mannstarkey @mistyheart @clarkie-carmody-blog @starrystarkey93 @kkmstblog @wildflwrdarlin @fangirlwithlou @glutenfreepeach @rafesmoon @hydrngea @mvybanks @lovedetlost @valeriiecameron @drdbnkl2008 @indigoreccs @outerbankspov @fangirl-madz @babyspice6 @taintedxkisses @starkeylover @1-800-call-a-milf @fanboyluvr @lou-la-lou @antagonize-me-motherfucker @iheartbadguys @shotgunhallelujah @swiftsgirlfriend @rentaldarling @mommyneytiri @iwantsleepplz @harrys-humble-housewife @c0untryclub

i’m literally so in love with this like

❝ my son? ❞

-ˋˏ MASTERLIST ˎˊ-

PAIRING : grownup! rafe x kook! f reader x young! rafe’s son

CONTEXT : after sleeping with rafe, you lost each other for a few busy years. but after 10 years, you finally came back in kildare, with a surprise …. a surprise Rafe is not going to forget that soon.

wanted to write a thing like lila x diego (umbrella academy) idk how it went lol i didn’t how to end it, so i des a little open fluff end.

WARNINGS : emotional manipulation, mention of sex, pregnancy, giving birth, rafe’s son being… a smart mouth and … rafe’s son (having bad ideas, being provocative), smoking.

❥ reblogs and likes are appreciated ! 𓆙

external pov -

a woman enters the country club, dressed in a long black lace dress, her pretty cleavage catching everyone's eye, she raises her sunglasses as she walks towards the bar. next to her, a young boy shuffles along, his hands in the pockets of his disheveled suit. he's taken off the jacket and opened his shirt, he can't stop complaining about the sweltering heat.

Rafe was sitting at the back of the terrace when he sees her arriving, he raises his head, his gaze lost in space. he feels like he’s seeing a ghost, it’s been many years since he’s seen y/n. it was a hot summer night before his life went through a roller coaster ride. he had spent a night out of time, with this girl he had never gotten to know. it was just before Rose forced him onto the Coastal Venture. he had no choice but to forget her.

he got up, apologizing to the date he had taken to eat here this afternoon. he walked closer to her, unsure if it was indeed y/n. he paid absolutely no attention to the young man behind her, as if he did not exist.

"Mom, maybe we can just go home i don’t want to do-", the boy try to reaches his mother.

a man appears behind the young woman, slightly pushing the young boy away, he recognized her coming forward. it’s been a long time since he didn’t see her, too long maybe. Rafe pats her shoulder.

"y/n?", he asks, she turns to look at him and her smile grows.

"oh, just the man i was searching for", y/n smiles as she runs a hand behind the young boy's head. her heart was pounding as she stared at this man she didn’t see in person since almost 10 years.

Rafe smiles as he looks at her, glancing at the young boy, but nothing disturbs his beautiful smile.

"what's up?" he asks.

the young boy giggles as he points at Rafe.

"that's him?" he grimaces as he looks up at y/n, "you can do better, you know?".

y/n giggles as Rafe frowns at the little man.

"who is the tic-tac-toe?" Rafe spits.

y/n's smile grows as she looks down at her son, Eliot rolls his eyes as he backs away. she grabs his shirt to pull him closer to them. Rafe looks at him, eyebrows frowned.

"hey, talk better about my boy okay", y/n gasped.

Rafe's face unravels and she giggles, nodding softly, in that moment she knows she's about to tell him the biggest news of his entire life... a few years late.

she could have good reasons but... truth be told, she mostly wanted to do this on her own. She didn't want him to get involved, especially since when she knew Rafe he was far from a decent man... or even an ideal father. he spent his time partying, doing coke and drinking all day long, rumours said he was in a treasure hunt and… she didn't want that for Eliot. she could have send him a text, or a picture, she hesitated so many times but she really wanted him to be sober and responsible again.

she turns to her son with a slight smile on her lips, pulling him by the sleeve to bring him closer to Rafe, who stares at them uncomprehendingly. y/n puts a hand behind Eliot's shoulder.

"so Rafe this is Eliot", Rafe frowns as he realizes she's not introducing him, unsuspecting that Eliot has heard a lot about him. y/n pats his son's chest as he realizes he's not saying anything.

"say hi eliot", she orders. but the young man rolls his eyes in despair.

"charming, i see he got a lot from you" Rafe laughs, ankward.

Y/n giggles as she shakes her head, walks over to her son and pulls him by the sleeve once more.

"yeah, i know i told you he is an asshole but he is cool, you're gonna have fun with daddy this weekend. i have to go now. be nice okay. and don't forget sunscreen, you didn't get his skin okay.". she says, kissing his forehead. Eliot winces and grabbing her arm so she don’t leave already. Rafe chuckles as he watches her holding him.

“no it’s okay, you have your phone, text me if you need anything.” she smiles, running a hand on his hair.

Rafe smiles, his fingers wipes his lips, he deeply thinks she’s playing a weird joke on him. he was calculating when was the last time he have seen her… 9 maybe 10 years. but he really starts panicking when she start leaving. He tries to catch up with her but can't until she enters the reception room.

"bu- uh? what the fuck? you're joking right? please tell me you're joking" Rafe holds her by the wrists, his eyebrows furrowed in concern as y/n flashes a smile.

"yeah, um, no, not joking." she affirms, Rafe widens his eyes as if he can't believe what he's hearing and finally winces, shaking his head.

"what? you waited ten years to tell me i have a son?!" he yells, losing his cool, she pulls him by the shirt and takes him into a corner of the room.

"hey! you were the one doing shit okay? i heard about you and you were not the type of dad i wanted for him". she whispers.

Rafe felt as if the ground was shifting beneath his feet. His eyebrows furrowed and a million thoughts raced through his brain: "and now i am? what the fuck is wrong with you?".

y/n snaps, lowering her voice so Eliot won’t hear "you got shot on his sixth birthday! what was i supposed to do!”.

Rafe glares at her before looking around anxiously. of course, people turned to listen to their little argument. y/n sighed, she knew this decision would come back to bite her in the ass one day. but she did what she had to do. Rafe would always downplay everything, but he wasn't doing well, he was a suspect in a double homicide: Gavin, his father's pilot, and Peterkins, the town sheriff. he was addicted to cocaine and eventually became entangled in the drug business or treasure hunt after Eliot was born. there were always so many reasons not to tell him. y/n put a hand on Rafe's shoulder, nodding gently.

"what if you prove me this weekend you can be a good guy? wheezie told me you were sober for a year now.", Rafe tilted his head, frowning.

"and wheezie knows i have a kid?", he replied.

Y/n arches an eyebrow "if you at least call her...".

Rafe grimaces as he waves him off "fine just go, i don't want to see you anymore".

y/n smiles as she climbs onto her tiptoes "you know even if i didn't tell you i never stopped believing you could do this".

she placed a light kiss on the corner of his lips, Rafe had no idea how to go about it, he was still so lost, he had tons of questions on his mind. how had she given birth? what had happened? where did they live? where did he go to school? he realises she had so much to handle all by herself and Rafe felt guilty to not be with them. did they have everything they need ? so many questions but rafe only runs his hands on his hair before finally getting back to himself.

"you- um... okay, go have fun because, we are going to have fun too. take a few days, you deserved it." he smiled nervously as he handed her several bills in the palm of her hand.

y/n smiled with a little pout "okay, i'll leave his bag at tannyhill when i pick up Wheez".

Rafe frowned and he was sure Wheez wasn't home. maybe she lived somewhere else in Kildare, now. in fact, it’s been so many time since he didn’t talk to her.

Rafe had just realized that all his problems had come crashing down on him: the distance he'd put between himself and his family, his addictions, all the past he wanted to forget was the reason he'd never known his son...

Y/N left after kissing his son's cheek, which was trailing behind Rafe, Eliot was completely lost, to tell the truth, y/n had warned him it wasn't going to be easy, but he'd never imagined it would be like this. y/n wanted Eliot to be prepared and she kept telling him that Rafe was hard and tough so Eliot only could be surprised… in a good way.

“what a woman uh-” Rafe started to get interrupted by his angry kid “don’t talk about her like that”, Eliot grumbled. he stares at Rafe with dead eyes.

Rafe clenches his jaws. yeah. no doubts. he could see it in his eyes as Eliot came to his mom's defense without a second's hesitation. Rafe nodded gently, letting out a smile. Rafe inhaled deeply, biting his lip. he pulled him out of the country club quickly, eliot pushed his hand away before stepping aside. Rafe turned to the receptionist.

"put it on Cameron" he shouted.

"okay, what you want to do? you're not scared on motorcycle right?", Rafe asked. Eliot frowned and Rafe shrugged.

if he were really his son, he wouldn't be scared. Rafe gave him a helmet and helped him put it on. He left without say goodbye to his girlfriend, well... more or less the date he'd had lunch with. Eliot climbed in behind Rafe, his little arms clinging around his waist. Rafe felt a weird feeling as he turned his head just to make sure he was ready.

and this travel time gave Rafe a few minutes to imagine a real weekend. What did Rafe like to do at this age? how old was this kid again? he had to talk to him, he had to bond with this kid he didn't know at all.

═════════════════════

Rafe hands over a bill to pay for the ice cream, Eliot swats a mosquito at his skin, grimacing again. he rolls his eyes as he runs a hand through his dark hair. Rafe looks at him out of the corner of his eye, even though he's just met him, the resemblance is striking, brown hair, darker though, yet he has big familiar features: his nose and the shape of his eyes, the way he stands and rolls his eyes. it's as if he's seeing himself in a time mirror. he grabbed the ice creams without bothering to thank the shopkeeper and walked over to Eliot, sitting on a picnic table.

"so... chocolate is your favourite?" Rafe asked.

Eliot looked at him with a frown "oh, you know me so well" he mocks with arrogance.

Rafe pulled himself together before insulting his own child. he puckered his lips, shaking his head.

"fair enough. i wasn't here for like ... eight years?", Eliot grimaces as he looks up at Rafe "nine actually, almost ten", Rafe smiles as he watches him taste his ice cream.

"okay I'm sorry. if I wasn't a big jerk back then maybe the crazy lady who's your mother would've wanted-", Rafe started.

Eliot interrupts him again, staring him with dead eyes, "she told me you'd be a little jerk but I didn't think she was that right...".

Rafe snaps, "she said what?".

Eliot smiled and shrugged casually.

"I hear you went to school with her, and you weren't cool. she said you were an asshole. Actually it shows when you breathe" Eliot was having fun throwing snipes at Rafe who smiled with a little pout. it's true that he hadn't been really cool with her when they were young.

"I don't even know how I could please her, to be honest.” Rafe confessed. Eliot chuckled and nodded.

"Me neither. you’re a dork” Eliot smiled. Rafe looks at him, understanding he didn’t make a good impression on his son and Rafe couldn’t even blame him.

“and to say that she still loves you is stupid.” Eliot still didn't realize he'd dropped a big dumpling, Rafe's eyes widened as he nodded softly. she still have feelings for him? Eliot kept eating without looking at Rafe.

“the other guy is much cooler than you” he breathed. Rafe’s heart stopped a second, he watched his son, a small pinching in his chest make it hard to breathe.

“the other guy?” rafe asked.

“yeah, there is that guy that likes her and buys her stuffs, he is nice” eliot implied.

Rafe was totally jealous but couldn’t stop the conversation. it was his son, not that random guy’s son, he just met Eliot, and Rafe just wanted to bond with him. he know they could get along. he wanted to know more about this dude.

“and do you see that guy often?” rafe asked. Eliot raised his head to look at Rafe, a light smirk growing on his lips.

“not enough, he lives far away.” Eliot replied.

Rafe stared at his son, trying to find a way to ask him more about his mother. he had so many questions and he realised that he were asking the wrong questions. he wasn’t here with Eliot to stalk the woman he forgot during so many years…

“yeah okay. and you?” Rafe questioned. Eliot stares at him, frowning.

“what’s about you? you okay sport ? guitar maybe ?” Rafe asked. Eliot shakes his head before offering a smile.

“no, drums actually. mom bought me to annoy the neighbours but i figured i was talented” Eliot laughed.

Rafe smiled, he finally understood why that kid was so fit and have such strong arms for his age. but mostly rafe finds it amusing because he was pretty good with drums when he had the same age too. he nods, tilting his head.

“and what about school?” Rafe questioned.

“i suck ..” he sighed.

Rafe couldn't see the blood dripping from Eliot's ear yet. he had fragile eardrums and he needed to put drops several times a day.

“school suck anyways don’t be too ha- ew, buddy you have… are you okay?” Rafe asked as he search for a handkerchief for his ear.

Eliot grimaced as he put down his ice cream before searching his pockets.

“oh shoot i forgot my drops. maybe mom kept it.” Eliot grimaced.

“let’s go, i’ll take you to a pharmacy” rafe assured.

Rafe was stopping downtown, parked on a corner, Rafe and Eliot were heading to the town store.

there was a pharmacy next to a store, Rafe was paying the right product, when he recognized the familiar face of pogues he couldn't stand. he grimaced as he recognized Jj's smug look and Eliot turned to them before checking Rafe's gaze.

"you know them?" Eliot asked.

Rafe knew them well. they had fought for the gold of the Royal Merchant. but Rafe got shot and knocked out. he had woken up in his own blood in the cave of the Coastal Venture, just before they tried to stole the cross. they didn’t managed to because the crew stopped them. but this wasn’t over.

Rafe stared at his son. It was not the moment. he had to prove Eliot he was a good guy.

"yeah, it doesn't matter" Rafe huffed.

Eliot narrowed his eyes as he tilted his head. he was putting the small jar of product for his ears in his pocket.

“i get it you scared of them.” Eliot smiled.

Rafe turned to him, shocked that his own kid dared to provoke him like that, then he understood that Eliot was trying to manipulate him to know his little secrets. he recognised a familiar pattern without understanding it was the Cameron genes.

“you’re smart. but no. i told your mother i was a good guy now, and i'm not talking to them with you. you're too young for this" Rafe explained, determined to prove to y/n and Eliot that he was done with all of this.

Eliot rolled his eyes unconvinced, he dragged his feet to follow Rafe when a voice behind them stopped them in place.

“hey pope, do you see that? rafe cameron is doing babysitting.” JJ snickered as he made fun of them, pope snickered as he watched JJ crush his joint in front of the store.

“i hope he gets no more than 8 peer hour, just like midsummers” Jj mocks.

Pope smiles amusedly, he tries to pull JJ, aware that this stupid rivalry can go much further than petty barbs.

“no but the kook king actually working, you don’t see that every day” jj smiled.

Rafe held back from letting out a scathing comment and Eliot looked up to see Rafe inhale before running a hand under his nose, he couldn't do that. he was trying to put himself together. Rafe rolled his eyes in annoyance, Eliot turned to look at them quietly.

“what’s your problem… douche? you never had someone to wipe your tears and kiss your boo boo so now you’re jealous? you don’t have any better things to do?” Eliot spat, narrowing his eyes while looking at JJ who was struggling to contain his surprise. Pope himself tried to not laugh out loud, a smile was rising on his lips.

Rafe let out a loud laugh as he grabbed him by the shoulders, he chuckled while slapping her chest.

“okay, i had no doubts you’re my son but you can’t say the truth like this…” Rafe chuckles.

he puts an arm around Eliot’s shoulders to bring him closer. quite amused and rather proud of his son, he ran a hand through his hair.

“oooh… his son… you hear that Pope?” Jj chuckled.

Pope was trying to get him to shut up by shaking his head, “JJ let’s go, don’t do this. it’s just a kid. ".

Jj turned on his heel to follow Pope and Eliot then took a few steps towards JJ.

“right jj, listen to your babysitter, go home” Eliot shouted, Rafe put his arms around him to pull him, shocked, he barely hides his pride.

he stares with amusement at JJ coming back towards them as if to fight. Rafe pushed Eliot behind him before stepping in front of Jj as if to remind him that he will not touch a hair of this child.

“What? your ego can’t take a 12 year old putting you at your place, pogue?” Rafe spits.

Jj narrowed his eyes but Pope pulled him into the store before starting to lecture him. Eliot laughed out loud before pushing Rafe gently, amused. Rafe stared at the pogues out of the corner of his eye, promising himself not to miss them the next time he saw them.

“come on. oh my god… you can’t shut that mouth can you? just like your m-” Rafe started, Eliot pointed at him, grimacing.

“don’t talk about her again, i’ll kick you. wimp” Eliot scoffed. Rafe let out a stunned gasp as he turned to his son.

“hey! watch your mouth okay.” rafe snapped. Eliot grimaced before showing him his middle finger.

“stop saying my mom is crazy!” Eliot yelled before turning towards the parking lot. naturally, he pointed at an old and damaged van. it was a wreck, the paint was peeling off and the windshield had suffered several impacts.

“I bet they came in this piece of shit” Eliot smiled.

“stop being a baby and let’s do something” he exclaimed.

Rafe narrowed his eyes before looking at him with a tilt of his head. it was quite disturbing to act like an adulte when he was burning to follow his son in his crappy plans of vengeances.

“like what? " he asked.

Eliot pulled him into a corner of the parking lot so no one in the store could see them.

“come on let’s slash their tires." he whispered, smiling.

Rafe took a moment, surprised by the familiar glow he saw in this young man's face. it was almost unreal, he stared at it not knowing if it was a stupid test or if it was a real idea. he was dying to do this, he was thinking hard about things they could to do to bond but, actually, maybe they needed to be themselves. maybe Eliot inherited many things from Rafe… his constant will to do bad things and dangerous things. things could go wrong in a thousand of scenarios, Rafe knew it.

“it’s like looking into a mirror” rafe blurted out.

Eliot frowned as he stared at him, Rafe rolled his eyes.

“you won’t tell your mom about this?” he caved slowly.

Eliot shook his head, grimacing, a slight smile on his lips.

“maybe we can do cool stuff like this” Eliot smiled.

Rafe rolled his eyes before pulling him behind the parking lot. they walked discreetly towards the van and Rafe took a knife out of his pocket before giving it to Eliot, who was hiding behind the truck. the young boy took the knife, smiling, impressed. he looked at it from all angles, fascinated by the engravings in the metal.

Rafe nudged him to hurry up. they were crouching behind the van but rafe was still too tall, even on his knees, he was looking around, checking that no one was coming. Eliot smiled before stabbing the knife into the tire which burst. He sneered as he moved forward and gave the tire a second kick before reaching behind his back for Rafe to retrieve his knife.

Rafe took the knife in his palm and bent it before pushing his son towards their motorcycle. they hurried out of the parking lot before the pogues came back. Eliot snickered as he put on his helmet.

“that was fun” Eliot smiled, Rafe couldn’t help but agree.

Rafe had never been with anyone who gave him better ideas than his. he nodded before putting on his helmet. maybe he would get there after all. maybe he could bond with his son.

══════════════════════════

the day had just ended and Rafe was tying the ropes to the docks as he had just arrived home. they had spent all Friday night and Saturday day at sea. Night had just fallen but Eliot was sound asleep on the sofa, exhausted after his first real fishing trip.

Rafe had taught him how to catch big fish like tiny sharks and they had fought with the fish for several minutes before finally reeling it in. Rafe couldn't wipe off the gullible and impressed smile on Eliot's face, he had fallen while pulling up the fish that was wriggling on his chest and he did a little jump when he realized that he had indeed caught a small shark. Rafe had taught him to release him gently, he had even caught him before he slipped into the ocean.

Tonight, Rafe really felt like he had moved on with Eliot. he went back to the main cabin to turn off the engine and he heard footsteps behind him, he turned to find y/n, she was wearing jogging pants and a big sweater, she was smoking a cigarette as she walked towards the cabin.

“i took off my shoes” she smiled.

Rafe sighed remembering the last time he drove her in his dad boat. he sat down in the chair.

“how was your weekend?” he asked.

y/n grimaced, she had fun of course but obviously she hadn't had as much fun without Eliot.

“great, but I missed him. how was your weekend?” she asked.

he smiled, his hand passed over his face, his eyes were already shining. he felt way too much and because he was sober now, everything was more intense. he mostly felt guilty because he had missed out on so much.

“amazing. we fished” Rafe smiled.

he smiled, inhaling deeply, she pulled out a drag and he motioned for her to come closer and sit in the seat next to him. Rafe took out a bottle of alcohol and two glasses.

“I want to know everything, how did the birth go, were you alone?” Rafe asked.

Y/n widened her eyes, a smile stretched across her lips, she walked over and sat next to him before taking the glass he handed her.

“yes but I nailed it. " she smiles. Rafe frowns as y/n breathes deeply.

“It was October and I was passing my sister's house, I was stuck in traffic and I realized I was having contractions, I gave birth in the car on the side of the road.” y/n smiled, Rafe's eyes widened as if he was hallucinating, he couldn't believe she faced this alone.

“you brought him to life while driving? " he asked. y/n shook her head slowly, a smile on her face.

“just yeah, before i pull over” she huffed before taking a sip of alcohol.

“and what, you drove yourself to the hospital?” Rafe asked, still in shock. he stared at her like she was telling ghost stories.

“yeah dude, i was already in the car, i just kept him on my chest.” she smiled.

Rafe was surprised, shocked, almost dismayed. but for her, she had no choice, she had never had anyone but herself. she was supposed to call the dad, but Rafe was missing after he left on that boat… she couldn’t find him and she didn’t want anyone near her. it was her moment with her son, just them meeting each others for the first time in that car, stopped in the side of a road, night time, the rain was pouring outside. y/n would never forget that moment. she knew it was only her and that baby now.

“and what? you knew it was a boy? and also where did you live? where do you work?”.

Rafe bombarded her with questions, he wanted to know absolutely everything about his son, about her, about this family that he dreamed of having and that he had missed.

y/n then told him that she had not wanted to know the sex of the baby and that she had discovered it in the car, just after giving birth. Rafe imagined this moment as a magical moment outside of time, she was a kind of a hero for him, he couldn't believe that she had given birth to this child alone, in a car.

she told him about living in a small studio in Kildare before moving to the mainland. She lived in New York now and for the first few years she still lived in a small studio apartment and Rafe grimaced to imagine her raising a tiny baby in a confined space.

but y/n then told him about the best years of her life, she told him how she had put this baby to sleep next to her every night, she gave him bottles sitting on the balcony on scorching summer nights, she was giving long baths in a tiny tub she had installed in the balcony while she finished her homework.

rafe couldn't believe what he was hearing, he wished he was there, at least he could have found him a bigger space to live in, or better schools, better things...

he grimaced as he imagined his son lacking anything, his heart was breaking and the idea was unbearable. Rafe ran a hand through his hair before leaning on the dashboard, leaning towards her.

“im sorry you know… you… you were right… about a lot of things. i wasn’t ready and-,” y/n took his hand, looking into his eyes.

“i know you are now” she smiled.

Rafe pouted a little, dropping his head.

“fuck i just hate that i missed ten whole years..” he growled.

“you deserved someone good to help you and he… he deserves to have a normal family. " he sighed.

she pressed her forehead against his, seeking his gaze.

“you know when I told you I never doubted you could do this? i didn’t lie, Rafe” she smiled, running a hand over his.

Rafe couldn't help but narrow his eyes as he tilted his head. how could she defend him again and again? he had never been a kind or praiseworthy person to her, he had given her a baby before disappearing into drugs and treasure hunts full of dangers and guns. she must have hated him more than anyone but she had never tried to criticize him once, she had not looked down on his path strewn with pitfalls and addictions.

“what did you see in me?” he asked.

she gave a small smile, slowly closing her eyes.

“i bet you don’t remember the night we met.” she smiled.

he tilted his head with a frown, she then nodded, straightening up, she took her glass with one hand.

“it was kelce party and he invited me. i was still a kook then and i don’t know… i was with kelce everything was too fast.", Rafe then remembered what she started to tell him.

"he acted like he couldn't hear you, yeah i do remember, that piece of shit i swear-", y/n stopped him by putting a hand on his thigh.

“you don’t remember when you beat the shit out of him and fell on your head? that’s why i was on your bed, i checked you all night” she smiled.

she then recounted how Rafe had rushed to her aid, a violent, contested and paradoxical hero, Rafe had not hesitated to throw him on the ground before kicking him in the stomach. y/n told this story with a big smile without Rafe understanding anything.

“you ignored me for years and you were almost mean sometimes and” y/n tried to explain her point but Rafe dropped his head remembering all the remarks he said about her just to humiliate her in front of his friends. he was ashamed. especially when his son reminded him. he ran his hands through his hair.

“yeah i’m sorry i was such a jerk and i’m” rafe apologized.

“yeah, but that night you didn’t care that i wasn’t a real kook and you took my side without hesitating. you were harsh, and impulsive, but you were… protective and lost. you're complicated. no one really understood you.” y/n huffed.

Rafe stared at her, shaking his head, unconvinced. he didn’t understand himself either. he still didn't understand, he was just an asshole back then. Rafe sighed before lowering his head.

“can i…why did you keep him?” Rafe asked.

y/n shrugged casually.

“i don’t know…i just knew he was going to change my life” y/n smiled.

“I’m so glad you did. i- i- where do you live now? where you work at?” he asked.

GUINEA PIG ───

jonathan crane ✧𖦹

ೃ⁀➷ “I think we most fully understood each other when once I tried to kill him with a kitchen knife.” — ‘South and West’, Joan Didion

pairing. switch!jonathan crane x professor!reader

summary. you and your dear friend, jonathan crane, have an odd relationship: he experiments on you, you experiment on him. one day, you experiment your aphrodisiac on him.

warnings. swearing, use of aphrodisiac & fear toxin, oral sex (m), unprotected sex, creampie, p in v, mention of death, murder, drugs, multiple orgasms, slight breeding kink, face fucking, dubcon(?) SMUT UNDER THE CUT!

word count. 6.1k

a/n. the enemies to friends to fucking pipeline is sooo real and i love it. BTW! this is really self indulgent and again, i’m a beginner to writing smut so pls don’t judge😭 the beginning is also oddly plotty, so i apologize for that.

You and your colleague, Jonathan Crane, have a harmonious, albeit slightly sick and twisted, relationship. 

Your repertoires, opposite in every way, complete one another like you were made to match. You are messy, frenzied, intimate; he is neat, calculated, distant. He is impatient, histrionic, stubborn. You are tolerant, deadpan, submissive. 

This is an odd, good-cop bad-cop dynamic you’ve built, but it works. Your traits uphold the order you’ve built around yourselves; you allow each other to function. 

Who ever said something so codependent, so parasitic, would fall apart? That it was dangerous, destructive? Everyone, but in your case, it has been anything but. 

These are the simple rules of your relationship: he experiments on you, you experiment on him. This partnership came to bloom when, after years of competing to be the “better” psychology professor at Gotham University, he sent you a gift that sprayed with you with fear toxin, and you baked him a cake that knocked him out for 24 hours following, heart rate so low he could’ve been mistaken as dead. 

“Fucking - hell,” You murmured under your breath, stumbling halfway across Gotham City to locate Crane’s absurdly lavish condo in the Diamond District, barely able to keep yourself upright. 

You were being visually assaulted by dozens of images, all your phobias no matter big or small, dancing across your senses. Spiders crawled all over your body, you saw yourself about to step off a steep, snowy cliff, you felt yourself suffocate as you were buried to death in a casket. It was utter torture, and you would have to endure it until you found Crane. 

You must’ve looked like one of those tweaking drug addicts from down in the Narrows, shivering, sweating, and rubbing all over your body to remove some of the “spiders” taking over your body. The terror was settling into you, into your spine like a terribly malignant disease. 

At last, you found the apartment building, blearily snuck in behind a drunk couple, and scanned the mail boxes until you found J. CRANE: 525. 

You headed up the elevator, grasping at the walls for dear life, feeling that growing, unmistakable sense of dread start to take over your mind. You felt like you were going mad, now, not just afflicted with something that made you look like it. 

When you finally got to his door, it was left open a crack, and you welcomed the small mercy of Crane’s overarching narcissism: he didn’t lock his door, often, because most days he felt more invincible than fucking god. 

“Crane!” You shouted, clutching at your head and staggering into his large apartment. “Crane!” you repeated, this time more desperate, more fearful than anything. 

However, your deepest fear, at the moment, had come true. You stepped into his kitchen, and found the man laying on the floor unresponsive. 

“Fuck me,” you cursed. You’d sent the man home with the cake twelve hours ago, when he took the half-day off from GSU, and you came home from your after-class tutoring hours just moments ago. 

You’d opened the mystery package on your front porch promptly, and you found yourself having been gassed with a compound that made you see every little thing you were afraid of. Immediately, you’d known it was Crane; the man’s pet specialty was fear. 

As for you, you wanted your… gift, to serve a reminder to him that he should not overstep your boundaries, your territory, as the psychology professor who was there first. If knocking him out was a little bit mad, he was bordering insanity for the toxin he poisoned you with. 

Even so, your threat was an empty one. You weren’t counting on the man to even eat the cake - hell, you’d never seen the man consume anything but straight black coffee. 

You couldn’t judge a book by its cover, you know now, and laid there on the couch of his apartment, waiting for the twelve hours to be over. Waiting for Crane, the fucking madman, to wake the hell up, blaming him for the predicament despite your very obvious involvement in it.

You breathed in and out, harried and rapid fire as you tried to focus, tried to block out the horrific things you were seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting. 

(Your eyes are swarmed, viscerally, by a grotesque hallucination of your family burning to death; you hear them cry out, voices interrupted when they’re fire gets to their lungs; you smell their death, the smell of flesh burning, how the smoke chokes you — you taste their blood on your tongue, how tender a raging fire makes charred flesh. 

Tender, you think on your choice of words again, and almost throw up.

What have you done, you think, and what is going through that fucked up head of yours, Crane?)

You tried to ground yourself, tether your lost mind back to Earth. You’re sitting in a field in Northwestern Ireland, you said to yourself, inhaling. Up ahead is the beach; water is crashing on the rocks. You exhaled, the wind tastes like salt, and it is just you and I, here together. It is only I and you, here, together. 

Like so, 12 hours passed. Not so much passed — that word gave the connotation the hours slipped past you, the way a peaceful stream of water does; no, more accurately, it dragged by, like when an arm slips out of the ambulance cot on its way to the emergency vehicle, and drags on the concrete. The EMT’s don’t notice what’s making their trip so hard, so slow, until the hand is rubbed raw and bloody. 

You repeated that mantra so many times you were starting to get queasy when you thought the words “you’re sitting in a field..” but nonetheless, the string of words kept you sane. 

Sane enough, at least - you weren’t sure you’d be the same blissful person you were yesterday. Sure, you were always a little bit… unorthodox? Petty? Competitive enough to bake so many drugs into a cake your opposing professor knocks out? 

But, with this — this being drugged by Crane — made you feel a piece of yourself break away. There would be no more of your life lived without knowing how fearful, well, fear, is. It's like discovering the Boogeyman and never being able to stop checking under your bed; the paranoia moves into your head and never leaves. 

Crane began stirring, and your eyes opened as soon as you heard the noise. Surprisingly enough, however, you were no longer being hammered with the hallucinations that had been distressing you just half a day ago. 

Had it been the mantra? The near-prayer you now swore was etched on your heart? 

“Fucking…” Crane said, getting up off the floor. He was clutching his head, eyes squinted, body hunched and tense. Looks like spending half a day on the floor wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but you didn’t give a fuck — atleast he was sleeping. If you had to be mentally destroyed by his toxin, you’d best believe you were taking the couch. 

“Why - why are you here? What the hell did you do to me?” He said after noticing you, voice raspy. He hadn’t had anything to drink or eat in a while, after all. 

“I could say the fucking same for you,” You muttered, giving him a pointed look. “You - what the fuck did you spray me with?”

Immediately, a twisted grin was bared on Crane’s lips, despite his fatigued demeanor. “Did you like it? My fear-toxin,” he preened, like the winning kid at a school science fair.

You rolled your eyes, and before you could control your tendencies, you’d swung back and then socked him straight in the face. 

Crane double-backed, looking terribly affronted, as if he hadn’t sent you the gas knowing how it would affect you. “Ow,” is all he said, face contorting oddly around the pain. 

“Yeah, “ow”. Fuck you, Crane.”

Crane raised a brow. “You’re acting like you didn’t feed me a poisoned cake!” He said incredulously.

“It wasn’t that poisoned,” you bit out, teeth gritted. “Not so poisoned I was hallucinating my family dying for twelve hours straight.”

“Ah, thanatophobia, not really one of my favourites—“ Crane started, like he was losing himself in a romantic daydream, before snapping back to reality. “Did you just say twelve hours?”

“Twelve hours for me. Twenty-four for you.” You said, reveling in how panicked he looked. 

“I — that’s long enough for me to be killed a hundred times over,” he mumbled under his breath. “What the fuck did you put in that cake?”

“I never expected you to eat it, Crane. You’re fucking skin and bones, I thought you’d just throw it out.”

“What did you put in the cake?” he repeated. 

“Ugh,” you sunk into the couch, “some amytal, zolpidem. Some melatonin. I didn’t measure, okay, and again, I wasn’t counting on you eating it.” You didn’t know why you had this urging feeling to respond to him, to humor his jabs, his dumb fucking theatrics, but you did anyway. 

“Some amytal? Some zolpidem? Some melatonin? Jesus fucking christ - is that what you wanted? To kill me?” He was leaning down, face inches away from yours now. 

You pushed him away, disgust on your features clear as day. “Shut the fuck up. I’m not some sociopathic fear-freak like you, Crane. I don’t mix compounds in my creepy little office with the thought of drugging out my fellow professor in mind. It was just an empty threat.”

He let out a disbelieving laugh, “Mixing barbiturates and medications into a cake sounds like an empty threat to you?”

“You know what?” You said brightly, getting up off the couch, “I don’t have to argue with you. I came to get my cure, woke up having cured myself.” Then, you burst out the door, fury rolling off you in waves, and you left.

There was something about the incident, however, that seemed to intrigue Crane to no end. Soon enough, he began entering your office during your breaks, asking to have a chat. Or, he’d walk in during your lessons, forcing you two in the hall alone. Sometimes, he’d even wait for you after school, dozing off in front of your classroom and waiting for you to exit your office. 

You couldn’t tell what was making Crane so interested, but he was hanging off you and your every word like some lovesick puppy.

You, on the other hand, also couldn’t get Crane out of your head. Certainly not for some weird, fucked up reason like his, but because of what he had created. A lot of people doubted his intelligence, mostly because of his obsession on things nobody really cared about, but that obsession made way to the destructive fear-toxin you’d inhaled, and it was seriously unlike anything you’d ever experienced, hell, even read about. It was a brand new creation, and downright deadly. 

Your interest in the man was more so on… keeping him in check. As rivals did. But his was on how you’d breezed past the effects of his toxin in just twelve hours. He’s expected you to go half mad, honestly. Your threat was empty… his was, decidedly, not. 

By the end of the next week following the incident, you two began eating lunch together, asking for joint classes, and spending nights over at each other's places. Not in that way, of course — your way was like a group of scientists having a forever eureka, because your minds fit like perfect puzzle pieces. 

Your intrigue had met his intrigue, and it felt natural, coming to a united front like that. You found you had more in common than you thought, something you should’ve found out about a long time ago, 3 ½ years kind of long time ago. Apart, you two were volatile; angry, spewing threats, attempting murder on the other. Together, however, you were absolute perfection: productive, well-mannered, motivated. 

Now, fast-forward coming on two years since the incident. You and Crane - now, Jonathan, have been inseparable since that time. You two were close, closer than siblings or children and parents or couples; you felt like the same person that had been split into two. Being together was the only thing that felt right, being back at the origin, like being at home. 

Fuck’s sakes, you did have the same home — you’d moved in together. Not to his, nor yours, but to a big house you bought on the outskirts of Gotham, with a big yard and an even bigger lab in the basement. It was like a scientist's amusement park. 

Maybe it - this relationship of yours - was codependency. But maybe it was utter genius: your careers had both never seen so many accomplishments until you and Jonathan came together. Partly because you had a greater inspiration when coupled with the other, but, mostly because you had a body to test on during preliminary trials. 

Creating things, like the fear-toxin, required human testing, and finding a way to get that done always slowed Jonathan down. Since finding you, however, it’d been a breeze. 

You offered yourself up readily, given Jonathan would do the same. And, besides, Jonathan had never been worried about you and his toxin very much — after that first time you took the toxin, you could easily find yourself out of its effects. You were the only person he’d ever encountered who could do this, and it was downright fascinating. He wanted to keep you, see how that strong little mind of yours worked overtime to fight his toxin off. 

You, on the other hand, rarely tested anything like that on Jonathan. Your interests lied elsewhere: what smells activate the human mind to recall memories, what are ways to accurately fight off drugs like GHB — all mental stimulation. 

That, however, changed one evening, when you had been brewing up a serum for the past few weeks. You’d gotten to the point in creation where you needed to test on someone, and observe the effects. 

“Jonathan,” you called out, looking down at your notes. The man in question was grading assignments for the psychology class you taught — now, in joint lessons more often than not — sitting at a desk a few metres away from you in the lab. 

“Jonathan!” you repeated louder this time, looking up from your notes. 

“What?” He shouted back, still hunched over on the ungodly amount of assignments he needed to mark. 

“Come here. I need to test something on you.” You said, nonchalant. 

That, however, piqued Jonathan’s interest to no end: you hadn’t tested anything on him in nearly a year. It hurt, a little, to test you endlessly and have nothing to give in return - so this, no matter what it was, Jonathan would take in stride.

Jonathan nodded vehemently, “Okay.” He then dropped all he’d been doing on the desk and made his way over, before sitting in the chair next to you. You made quick work, tying his arms and legs to the chair like he’d done to you so many times before. He watched you work, completely enraptured in how you looked while experimenting. 

“So,” He said, tearing his sticky gaze off of you, “what’re you pumping me full of?”

You sat back in your desk chair and scratched your cheek, a little unsure how to say this. “Well, I created a serum that, once injected, would lower or lose all inhibitions of the victim. They’d be completely malleable, agreeable, if you just, um,” you fanned yourself, feeling a little too close to the man in front of you, room feeling incredibly warm.

“Just what?” He pried, leaning back in his chair. 

You exhaled shakily, “if you just promise to - to provide relief to them. Sexual - relief.”

Jonathan let out an incredulous laugh. “You made a working aphrodisiac?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t exactly — I don’t even know if it works, for sure. If you don’t want to- take it, then you don’t have to.” You offered up weakly. 

“How d’you get it out of the system?” He said instead, ignoring your words and picking up the needle you had ready for him on your worktable, which was filled with a thick, pink liquid. 

You flushed. “You, um, help the victim relieve themselves, until the feeling is gone.” 

Jonathan looked up at you, a sly smirk on his lips. “And you were going to give this to me?” 

You turned away, face red, exasperated. “I told you, you don’t have to take it if you don’t want to.”

“And let you pleasure some random guy you snatched off the street? No way,” he said, before you heard a familiar prick, small whine leaving Jonathan’s mouth.

You spun back around so fast you thought you got whiplash. “Jonathan, wait—“ you said, alarmed. You were really, seriously, considering not giving the aphrodisiac to him — it would disrupt the careful balance you and he had built over the past years. 

You were afraid that if he took the serum, and let you, for lack of a better word, get him off, you wouldn’t be able to look at him without remembering him needy, hot and bothered, calling your name out like it was the only word he knew. 

He’d done it anyway, though. And now, you both just had to get through this… experiment. 

Quickly, you grabbed your pen and notebook, ready to approach this scenario as detached and clinically as possible, ignoring the pulsing need in your insides as you saw Jonathan’s face slowly contort into a warm, heavy-lidded lustful one. 

“How do you feel, Jonathan?” You said, standing further away from him so he couldn’t so much as feel your body heat on him. 

“I…” Jonathan blinked rapidly, licking his lips, looking you up and down. “Warm. I just feel… warm.” He readjusted in the seat, unable to sit still. “And - kind of, tingly? Like I - well, I don’t know…”

You noted his words, as well as some of your own observations: his pupils were dilated, so much so the crystalline blue of his eyes were merely slivers, his lips were pursed, plump, and he was pink all over; pink cheeks, pink ears, pink neck. He was talkative, loose-lipped and a little out of it.

You inhaled, then exhaled, before starting the next phase of the experiment. “Jonathan, how do you feel when I touch you here?” You said, raising the back of your hand to caress his cheek. 

Jonathan was affected almost immediately, eyes shutting tight. “It feels,” he said breathily, leaning into your touch, “ah… nice. Good.”

You nodded, promptly pulling away as soon as he’d finished his sentence. Subject enjoys physical touch. Jonathan then peered up at you, looking slightly… disappointed? 

You shook yourself, getting back on task. “How do you feel now?” You pried, noticing he looked far more affected than before. 

Beads of sweat were dripping from his forehead, making his wavy brown hair stick to his skin. He was breathing heavily, and, when you had touched him, he was extremely warm, like he had a fever. 

“I’m, I…” Jonathan trailed off, eyes shutting, shaking his head. “Mmm… my head feels — fuzzy,” he bit out raspily. 

“Okay. Good. It's exactly as I thought,” you murmured, continuing to scratch down notes. 

You ignored him for a few minutes, writing up a list of side effects and observed results of the aphrodisiac. Then, your gaze drew back to him, who had been focussing intently on you the whole time. 

“Jonathan?” you called out quietly, seeing his dazed expression. “Talk to me.”

Jonathan shuddered, leaning forward in the chair, head hanging low, “My - my body’s, hnngh… it feels— feels weird.” He bit his lip, face screwed up and tense. “I’m warm all over…”

His shoulders were hunched in, and he was trembling. You lifted a hand up to his head, petting him softly, carding your fingers through his hair. 

“Ah…” Jonathan squeaked out at your touch, face going slack, “I feel like I need you to - to…” he sighed exasperatedly, “I need you.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek conflictedly. On one hand, you needed to finish up a few more tests, meaning Jonathan would be teased - or tortured, depending on how fast the aphrodisiac was affecting him - a little longer. On the other hand, he was already a breathy mess, begging for your touch. For you. 

“Fuck,” you murmured, turning away from the man who’s eyes were practically rolling into the back of his head at the way you tugged at his locks. “No, no,” you fought your internal struggle. You would not give in to his pleas - you would finish this experiment. 

“Okay. Okay.” you said to no-one but yourself, extracting your hand from his velvet soft hair. “Let’s be professional about this. Jonathan, I’m going to take your clothes off, but you can’t move, and you can’t touch me, okay?”

Jonathan’s breathing became more labored as you spoke, and you swore you could see desperate tears filling his eyes. “I can’t- I can’t touch you? But… but why not?” He was practically whining for you.

“Because, Jonathan, it wouldn’t be beneficial to the experiment.” You didn’t look your partner in the eye, because his complete and total change in behavior had you feeling, quite frankly, as warm as him. 

You continued by undoing the restraints on his arms and legs, and his sharp intakes of breath as your fingers brushed past his skin didn’t slip past you. Not at all. 

Firstly, you undid the man’s white button-up shirt slipping it past his flushed torso. Jonathan’s skin was actually pink and warm all over, and he was breathing heavily now, gripping the chair so tight his knuckles were white. 

“Are you okay, Jonathan?” you asked absently, as you began unbuckling his belt and slipping down his fly. 

Jonathan’s breath hitched in his throat, and he didn’t answer you, biting down on his lower lip to stop any desperate moans from escaping him. 

You finally finished undressing your partner, then redid his restraints, before you stepped back to see him fully. Jonathan was shivering, faint tear tracks on his pink cheeks, head cocked back. 

“It’s just - one, or two more tests, Jonathan.” You murmured quietly, kneeling down in front of him. 

Your hands pressed flat on his thighs, rubbing him up and down, grazing your fingers lightly on his feverish skin. You had to regularly ground yourself, stop yourself from inching up to the poor, untouched tent in his boxer shorts. 

Above you, you could hear Jonathan let out a low groan, “Ah, hnng— please,” he called out to no-one in particular.

“Does that - feel good, Jonathan?” You ask, getting back up on your feet. His desperate groans were getting to you now, how needy his little keens were. 

“So - good,” he panted. “Your— you, I want— need, I need…” he trailed off, babbling, lost to the pleasure of your touch. 

“Jonathan, if I… touched you more, would you do anything for me?” You said finally. The invention of the aphrodisiac was intended to sway someone's motivations, make them bend to your will. Sure, there was that added sexual aspect, but it was created with less… pleasurable intentions. 

“Anything, anything at all,” he said deliriously, rolling his head around. “Jus’… just need you to- touch me.”

“Would you give yourself fear-toxin, Jonathan?”

“Yes! Yes, just — please… please! Stop asking me— questions… I need you so fucking bad, ah…”

“Jesus,” you said. Your aphrodisiac was stronger than you thought. You were satisfied, however, with the results of it. The first trial was a success, and you saw how you could use this on anyone - even people in particular positions of power, and get them to do your bidding. Quite helpful, indeed. 

Now, you needed to… get Jonathan out of this state. By, ah, relieving him.

You had decided to do this, to test him, so you had to be responsible and help ease him out of this experiment. Quickly, you stripped your own clothing, even your underwear, before undoing the restraints on his arms and legs. 

Jonathan’s eyes widened as he watched you undress. “Are you - are you… gonna t—touch me? Now? Please?” He practically begged, almost drooling at the sight of your naked body. 

“Mhm,” you said, a tremble in your voice. “Gon’ help you get out of this.”

Then, you climbed onto Jonathan’s lap, shutting your eyes as you felt his hard cock within his boxer shorts slide between your legs deliciously. 

He let out a guttural groan as your weight pressed down on him, feeling your wetness soak his shorts. That measly piece of fabric was all that was keeping him from entering your plush, velvet folds, and he was going practically insane at the feeling. 

“M’god,” Jonathan whined out, leaning his sweaty head on your shoulder. “Y’feel so, a—ah, good…”

You couldn’t help the breezy laugh that made its way out of you. “I haven’t even touched you yet, Jonathan, and you’re already so worked up,” you whispered in his ear, hot breath fanning on his warm skin.

“P-pleeeease,” He begged, slowly grinding into you. Jonathan was barely coherent, mind just focussed on chasing the release he so desperately needed.

You raised a brow, but complied, slipping your warm hands down his boxer shorts and pulling his thick length out. You pumped him lazy, feeling how he writhed under you, tasteful whimpers slipping out of his mouth. 

After another second of you stroking him lightly, your thumb grazing past the tip and collected a decent amount of precum, he actually did come, wet hot load spurting upwards on his chest and your face. “Ah - hnngh, oh my — oh my god,” he drooled, jutting into your hand. 

It dripped down from your cheek onto your lips, and Jonathan squeezed his eyes shut, losing himself in the pleasure. You swiped a handful of his cream off your face, before covering his still hard, curved cock with it. 

“You’re not done, aren’t you?” You said to him quietly, his hips stuttering as you artfully smeared his come on himself. Jonathan was arching into your touch, completely putty in your hands. 

“Nuh- no, m’still— still need you, need you so bad.” he whimpered shamefully, hands stuck to your waist.

“Look at you go,” you found yourself cooing, dragging a creamy hand down his equally as creamy chest, your fingernails grazing him. “Let me take care of you.”

Then, you lifted yourself up off his lap, and carefully situated your slit on the tip of his head. “Christ,” you called out as you slid down, “you’re fucking big,” 

Inch by inch, you took him, and Jonathan’s eyes were rolling into the back of his head, a string of senseless groans and whines leaving his mouth. “Feels so warm, so so warm,” he choked out at last, looking at you adoringly. 

You started to lift out of him, your cunt stinging slightly at the sheer size of his cock, when you felt a heated liquid shoot through you, Jonathan’s knees buckling under your ass. 

He’d come, again, even before you could get started. You shook your head incredulously at the terribly horny man beneath you, eyes glazed over in the pure ecstasy he was feeling. 

“Stop, fucking — coming,” you scolded, bottoming his cock into you once more, “you’re gonna get me so — ah— fucking - pregnant if you keep coming.”

“Sorry,” Jonathan said sheepishly, burying his head into the crook of your neck. “Can’t help it— you feel so — hnngh — feel so good.”

You rolled your eyes at his words, then focussed on getting a good pace of sliding in and out, your hips rolling deeper and deeper into his own. You were bouncing quickly on his cock, dick-riding him like you’d never done before. 

With all other sexual partners you had, they wanted to be all vanilla, always just missionary, going slow until they were close, no sense of creativity or any other wishes that just feeling you. With Jonathan - especially in the state he was in now - you could do whatever you wanted, as long as his cock was in your cunt. 

“Good — god,” you screamed out, when Jonathan suddenly gained control over himself and snapped into you, rough hands pinching the flesh of your hips. He rutted into you, hard and fast, for a moment like that continually, before his control melted once more into nothingness, and all he could do was let you take the reins. 

“Please— how’re you so — ah, how does your pussy feel so good…” he murmured, trailing off into a high-pitched moan when you pulled out, then just as fast sunk down on him. 

Jonathan’s fingers trailed up your body, rubbing at your soft flesh, before they found your breasts, kneading you tenderly. He chanced several licks on both your erect nipples, and you shuddered, tightening around him. Your cunt was sucking him in, devouring his length no matter how big he was, and he could feel how his length was stretching your walls wide open. 

“So fucking big.” You panted, arms wrapping around his neck, “fat fucking cock all needy, just me.”

“Jus’… just for you! All - ah, all for you,” Jonathan repeated with a squeak, lips bitten delicately between his teeth. 

Your hands trailed all over his body, and as the pleasure was getting to you, making your head dizzy and your thoughts foggy, you bounced down on him and your nails scratched up his back, surely leaving small wounds. 

This miniscule amount of pain seemed to amplify Jonathan’s endless pleasure, and you could feel him pumping you full of his come once again, the tip of his dick pressed flush against your cervix. His come made you feel so full, fuller than you already did with his monstrous cock nestled into you, continually rubbing up on the toe-curlingly spongy spot in your cunt every time you pushed him back in. 

“Mmf,” Jonathan groaned, pleasure muffling whatever he was was going to say, “m’gonna… gonna get you pregnant,”

“Yeah?” You breathed out, squeezing your eyes shut, “Is that what this needy cock wants? To get my wet cunt full and me pregnant?”

“Yes, yes, hnngh, please, wanna come - wanna come more,” Jonathan cried out. 

“‘kay, okay,” you nodded vehemently, “then make this pussy feel good.” 

Then, you slid out with a whimper, two loads worth of come spilling out of your worn-out cunt, turning around so your ass would face him, before you sunk back down on him. You were chasing your own pleasure now, the unmistakable feeling rumbling within your lower stomach. 

Jonathan was completely fucked out, just a shaking, hot and bothered mess on the sticky wooden chair you’d both occupied, but he still welcomed your warm pussy back on him with open arms. Your folds beat any other cunt he’d ever been in, and he knew nothing, not even his own hand, could match up to how addicting you were, how delectably you took him. 

The new angle had you reeling, your hands gripping Jonathan’s thighs for some much-needed support. You were buckling, getting weaker with every bounce, but were still desperate for release. It affected Jonathan too, and he was pressing his face up against your hair, biting down lightly on your shoulder to collect himself despite the earth-shattering pleasure you were inflicting on him. 

Your fleshy cunt met his rock-solid cock every moment perfectly, and soon enough your back was arching, head leaning back on Jonathan’s shoulder. That knot in your stomach was tightening, a fire burning within you and begging you not to stop.

Jonathan’s needy hands were coursing all over your body, rubbing on you in all the right places, and when his calloused fingers began pinching and twisting at your sensitive nipples, you saw white. That burning feeling dragged across your entire body, your jaw tensing, and you felt positively fuzzy, pure pleasure destroying all coherent thoughts you’d been having, your mind now focussed on the insane way he made you orgasm. 

There was nothing that could compare to how you felt now, this being the hardest you’d orgasmed in your entire life. There was just something about Jonathan — be it how unbelievably big he was, or perhaps the odd tension that surrounded you two for the past few years — that made this experience ten times, no, a hundred times, better.

It was like his dick had been artfully crafted to stretch you out and stuff you full; that thick cock, made just for you. 

In place of your weakening strength, Jonathan kept his hand tweaking your breast, and his other hand gripped your hip tightly, helping you bounce up and down on his cock. Thus, the pleasure was maximized by his touch, and you rode out your high like that for a few more long moments. 

You stayed there, on his lap panting and drooling, for a few more seconds, before you climbed off of him, grimacing at the loss of his sweet cock in you. 

You stood shakily, feeling his come ooze out of your sticky hole, and you were surprised to see that Jonathan was still hard. He was panting, head leaning against the chair, hands and legs trembling, but his dick could probably still pump out another round of come. 

You did always wondering how he’d taste, and after seeing how long and thick he was, you wanted to know if his dick could make you cry, too. So, you kneeled down on the cold floor, pulling him by the ankles a little further off the chair, so you could get better access to him, and buried your pretty little head between his shaking thighs. 

“What’re you— doing?” Jonathan said blearily, but before he could continue, your soft lips wrapped around him, and your tongue began artfully swiveling his sensitive head.

The loudest moan you’d heard so far was drawn out of Jonathan, and more, similar noises came out of him. It was nonsensical, and unintelligible, but you could tell he was having the time of his life — as if he hadn’t just orgasmed three times prior. 

You started slowly, mouth taking his cock until you felt like you couldn’t anymore, before forcing past that point and making yourself take him to the back of your throat. Tears lined the rims of your eyes, your head swimming from lack of oxygen, but you couldn’t help how badly you wanted to hear him whimper and whine out from how good you were servicing him, his pretty groans reaching your ears like music. 

You pulled his cock out of your mouth when you felt like you were going to pass out, and then you began lapping up at his cock, sucking and curving your tongue around his long length. You sucked him hard and fast, and then, his hands grappled at your hair. 

At this point, you believed the aphrodisiac was wearing off, and Jonathan, now a little more clearheaded, began face fucking you, filling your sweet mouth full with his filthy cock. He couldn’t resist doing so, especially with you looking up at him through your tear-stained lashes, hollowing out your cheeks and gripping his thighs like your life depended on it. 

You gagged on him, several times, but he didn’t care, and with a jolted thrust past your swollen lips, he came, squirting all he had left down your throat. You sucked and swallowed every drop of him into your mouth, loving the taste of his salty liquid. 

Now, you were both fucked out, beyond tired, the strain on your muscles settling in. Your core had been properly exercised, what with how many times you rutted into Jonathan, and he, similarly, had a strained back with how much he arched into your touch, his aphrodisiac-clouded mind wanting nothing more but to be touched by you. 

“Good god, woman,” Jonathan said, collapsing into the wooden chair, which was sticky with sweat, come and your cunt’s soaking wetness. “You could’ve just said you wanted to fuck,”

You panted, dropping down onto the cold floor beneath you and wincing. “We’re — we were, just friends.”

He waved away your words, “We live together, darling. Not quite sure if that's “just” friends.”

You looked up at him, before laughing agreeably. “Felt good though, didn’t it?” A smug grin made its way on your lips, remembering how submissive Jonathan had been, how desperate he’d been just for the slightest bit of touch. 

“Amazing,” he said exasperatedly. “But next time, you’re not topping.”

“Next time, huh?” You said brightly, shakily getting up. Jonathan helped you, both of you limping exhaustedly up the stairs to your actual house, where you really should’ve been fucking, instead of the clinical environment of your large basement lab.

Jonathan’s hands found your ass, pulling you flush against him and kneading the flesh roughly. “Why not? Don’t you wanna know how I fuck?” he whispered suggestively into your ear, nibbling at the lobe. 

“I think, you’ve still got some aphrodisiac in you, Jon.” you said, laughing breezily. 

So We Won't Forget

pairing: f!reader x rafe cameron

plot: you meet rafe cameron at a grief support group while he struggles with the loss of his father. he's trying to be a better man, and you can't help but love him for it.

warnings: 18+, sensitive topics such as death and mourning, use of Y/N, fluff and flirting, challenging sibling dynamics, smut (P in V, size kink, lots of praise, some teasing), mentions of past drug use, rafe is reforming (?) lol

word count: 7.7 k

Rafe didn’t know what he was thinking.

He knew Barry had given him the bright pink flier as a joke more than anything else. And he’d taken it as a joke, at least after the initial roll of his eyes, too. Ended up crumpling the sheet of paper and chucking it into the garbage can near his bedside, muttering some iteration of ‘yeah man, that’s real funny’.

His dad was dead. For real, this time. He didn’t need some corny grief support group where people sat in a circle and sang their sorrows.

He needed a fucking time machine.

Still, he had done it.

Sleep was getting harder and harder to find these nights. The temperature never felt right.

Too hot when he pulled white sheets up and over his bare hips and too cold when he let them slip down to his feet.

He rolled his body over to his side with the intention of scrolling through his phone which had become increasingly dry since his return from Guadeloupe.

But then his hand was reaching down into the garbage can and he was squinting in the dark to make out an address he’d never seen before.

It was no wonder why. The Church was so far in the outskirts of Figure 8, it might as well have been on the Cut. But it wasn't, and that was one of the only reasons why he'd reconciled with making the drive.

It was a shoddy building with peeling paint and a slanted roof, and it took him a whole twenty minutes to step outside of his truck and through the front doors.

The place gave him the chills. He felt better thinking it was because it was so run-down and he was a Kook through and through, but a part of him knew it was for a different reason entirely. He wasn’t completely sure he wouldn’t burst into flames upon entry. It wasn't long ago that he’d melted a fucking cross for Christ’s sake.

Like the man standing at the entry-way can read his mind, he claps a hand on Rafe’s shoulder and flashes him a reassuring smile. He must've been staring guardedly at the blocked off pew.  

“We just use the space on this side of the building.” The man says, gesturing to the large room with groups of scattered chairs and a long table at the back with pastries and refreshments. “There’s no, uh,” he clears his throat, then continues with a knowing glance, “religious affiliation.”

Rafe manages a nod, his fingers feeling numb and jittery all at once. His eyes rake over the room once more. More specifically, the people in it.

Some of them look like they’re itching to talk, while others look so boxed up it makes the silence in the room more chilling. Rafe decides he connects more with the latter, but there’s a spot he can’t quite reach at the swell of his shoulder blade that suddenly feels like it could use a good scratch.

“I’m Leon, by the way. The program manager.” The man, Leon, introduces himself. “Help yourself to some snacks, then grab a seat. We’ll start shortly.”

Leon shoots Rafe another smile, then saunters over to the front of the room where he sits down by a dingy whiteboard. 

Briefly, he wrestles the impulse to sprint out through the double-doors and scrub the very essence of the place off his body in a scalding shower. Sterile and dizzying, just how he likes them. 

But then his feet are trudging clumsily toward the snack table, and he downs a hot cup of coffee that splashes uncomfortably against the acid in his stomach before filling an empty chair at the back. 

"Let's see. As you take your seats and feel out the room, some of you might be asking yourselves why you even bothered to show up. Why don't we take a moment to remind ourselves why?"

To you, the introduction by the man you now know as Leon leaves something to be desired. A reminder wouldn't be necessary because forgetting wasn't the problem. 

The problem was your best friend was gone, and nothing in the world could get your mind off it. It was a strange kind of irony, really, talking about her so you could end up talking about her less. 

What better place and time was there to mourn than the beautiful Outer Banks in the summer?

At least, that's what your mother had said in a chipper tone as you rode the ferry off the mainland together.

Taking in the ambience of your surroundings, you seriously doubt she's right. The AC is blasting and you still feel sweat beading on your forehead. The place had the humidity of a greenhouse and none of the natural light. 

"We'll start our conversation small. With a partner." Leon says, breaking you out of your trance. "I'll walk around the room and pair you up."

The friendly man that Leon is, it takes him a while to get to the back of the room where he pauses in front of you.

"Alright, so that leaves... you two!"

Leon points vaguely to a figure sitting at the far corner, who lifts his head for a second to meet your eyes. A flash of blue before he looks back down again. You notice that he's not moving a muscle and probably doesn't intend to. 

"Guess I'll come to you." You mutter shortly under your breath, dragging your chair behind you as you move closer. 

Taking a seat in front of the quiet stranger, the first thing you notice is that the top of his head is pretty. Then he lifts his chin and you come to realize that the rest of him is even prettier. 

Dirty blonde hair that seems to be growing out after a cut sticks to his forehead, slightly damp with sweat. Angular jaw, beautiful blue eyes, soft pink lips pressed into a frown. He gazes at you suspiciously. 

"Rafe." 

Your eyebrows furrow, temporarily stalling your ogling. "What?"

"My name." He squints at you, pointing a slender finger to the whiteboard on which Leon has messily scrawled the words: 'introduce yourselves and explain why you're here'. 

"Rafe." You repeat, trying the name out in your mouth. It feels harsh but satisfying. Like a swear word. "I'm Y/N." 

He nods, but doesn't say anything else, his eyes flickering between the floor and a black truck you can make out through the window - like he's worried it might disappear. 

You steal a glance at the pairs around you who seem to be getting far deeper into conversation than the two of you. 

"I think we're supposed to talk." You mumble.

Rafe nods again, and his lips part for a moment, but then they close again. You fight the urge to glare at Leon for dooming your progress before it could even begin.

"I can go first." You offer with a shaky breath. "I'm here because my best friend, Stacy... died. It was, um, a car crash." 

Hating the way the silence intensifies between you, you continue. 

"I don't really know what to say. Just that she was kind of my favourite person. And she, uh... always made me feel like I was the only one in the room, you know? She just wanted to make you laugh and it was like nothing else mattered. Just us, living in our own little world."

Rafe feels a certain tightness in his chest, pressing down on his sternum.

"You're lucky." He scoffs.

It makes your face fall.

He'd tried to make it sound like a good thing, but it came out ugly, like it always seemed to. 

"I'm... lucky that my friend died in a violent car crash? Gee, Rafe. Your empathy has no bounds.” 

The turn of your voice makes Rafe's spine stiffen, his brows stiffly pinched together as he attempts to soothe over his words.

"No, I didn't mean it like that, okay?" 

You narrow your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

Suddenly, the lips that you once thought were pretty look more like what they really are. Annoying, when they move. His crisp blue polo and stupidly expensive watch are starting to get on your nerves.

"I just meant that you - look, at least you had her. That's more than a lot of people can say."

That was rich coming from a guy that looked like he had everything in the world at his disposal.

"Who'd you lose? Your gardener?" You quip. 

Rafe stares bitterly then looks down at his lap where his fingers are fidgeting.  

"My dad."

You feel your stomach churn with guilt, face getting hot.

It's the way he says it that pains you. Like it hurts him physically to get the words out. You know that feeling like the back of your hand. You wish you didn't, but you do.

Suddenly, Rafe's rigidity feels less abrasive and more heartbreaking. You wonder how long it's been, hesitant to ask because it might make you feel worse. Maybe you deserved it for leading with pettiness instead of compassion. You remind yourself that you're grieving and messy, too. 

"Oh." You choke out when an apology feels tight on your tongue.

He lifts his head up to meet your eyes, chewing on his bottom lip. "Yeah. Oh."

"I shouldn't have said that, Rafe. I'm sorry." 

"No, I get it. I shouldn't have said that either. That way, at least. I'm trying to be better at... not saying the wrong thing." He breathes, shoulders falling. "I fuck it up constantly."

"You're not, you didn't." You shake your head. "I'm just on edge. Plus, I get really cranky when I'm hot, and it's boiling in here. Promise." 

You feel a sense of relief when he cracks a smile at that, wanting to savour it. 

"And...," you trail off, catching his attention. 

"And?"

Your gaze runs over him, from the top of his handsome face, down to his shiny designer boots. 

"You're textbook Kook. I guess my whole 'eat the rich' thing got the best of me." 

Rafe laughs softly, feeling a rush in his chest. For a second, he's not thinking about a certain series of events that looms over him everywhere he goes like some sort of 'never off the clock' paralysis demon. Nor any of the bad decisions he made that led him up to that point and drove him deeper into the ground after the fact. He remembers back when he was just a regular asshole. An arrogant rich kid with poor impulse control and penchant for adrenaline. 

He's debated if he would choose to go back thousands of times. 

Part of him wants to.

He had a lot less to worry about. More parties to throw, more girls to take up to his bedroom after very little flirting on his part, more blow to keep him heady and distracted.

Help keep his mind off of the arguments with his dad.

His dad, who blew a hole in his life, and now, was gone... forever. It's something he'd imagined more times than he could count, but he would have never guessed this feeling. 

Nothing felt good anymore. Like he didn't deserve any release because his dad wasn't here to give him shit, so he'd endured nothing to deserve it. He'd started feeling guilty, more than usual, and in a more physical sense. He could feel it when he woke up. Maybe it was the guilt that woke him up every day, gasping for air and clutching his chest. It was starting to sink in and sometimes he spent the whole of the night crying. It was like his soul was being reformed. He drove to a Church, instead of calling Barry, to feel something again. 

He secretly hoped for a big, ambiguous power that would slap him awake and help him trek forward like a strong wind behind his back. But believing took a certain lack of resistance and if his father's eyes were anything to go by, Rafe was stubborn like a grease stain.

Then there was the risk of believing and still watching everything spin into chaos around you. Feeling stupid that you hoped for something different.

But things are different now. 

He's still an asshole, sure. But he's trying to work on that. 

"You're not wrong." He admits, grinning slightly. "You been to the island before?"

"Couple times. I know how you guys talk." You shrug, amused at how the jargon piqued his interest. "It's been a pretty long time, though. Don't think we've ever met."

He nods, like that makes sense to him. You shiver when his blue eyes run you up and down. 

"I would've remembered you."

Before you can respond, Leon makes his way over to the two of you, smiling to himself, mostly, because the conversation he'd manufactured appeared to be a success.

"You two look chatty." He says brightly, eyes flickering over Rafe's posture, far more laid-back than when he first walked in. 

"Just doing what you asked." Rafe replies shortly.  

"Yeah, 'course. Just that you two seemed quiet, but turns out, you're chatty. It's nice, that's all. Keep up the good work, folks!" Leon says the last part loud enough for the room to hear, enthusiastically clapping his hands together while he does it. 

"Dude's weird." 

You chuckle at Rafe's comment, watching as Leon eagerly prods at another pair. You turn back to him and shrug. 

"Definitely weird. Kinda sweet, though?"

The rest of the session continues with Leon speaking to the group, promising that next time, sharing would take place in a larger circle for deeper community. You don't miss the way Rafe's knee bounces up and down next to you. At one point, you gently put one of your palms on his knee to keep it still. You feel his stare burning a hole in the side of your face, but you don't look at him. Just a hint of a smile on your lips. 

It makes Rafe nervous. He feels something different, and he likes it, but it makes him nervous. 

"Hey... you gonna come next week?" You ask him as you sling your bag over your shoulder, trying to make sure your voice doesn't sound so hopeful. 

He pauses for a second. 

"Uh, maybe. Maybe, I'm going to have to check on a few things first." By a few things, he meant Barry. Though they'd unloaded most of the cross gold, they still worked together sometimes. Mostly because they wanted to.

He was an unlikely friend. Gruff and hard to control, but in his corner.

If Rafe was going to show up again, he didn't want Barry finding out. He'd never hear the end of it - 'you're getting soft on me, Country Club!'.

"Okay." You chirp, turning to leave and taking all of three steps before stopping again with your bottom lip wedged under your teeth.

Fuck it. 

"Hey Rafe?" You spin back, sounding hopeful and a little desperate, but honest, at least, because you are those things. 

"Yeah?" He breathes, eyes falling all around you. 

"I really hope you come."

Quickly, you turn back around and make your way to the door, hand barely gripping the knob when you finally hear his voice.

"Y/N."

You look over your shoulder to meet tender blue eyes. 

"I'll be there."

Turns out, sharing circles are harder than they look. For Rafe, at least. 

You spoke about Stacy so easily. You spoke well of her so easily.

When Rafe heard your shaky exhales next to him, he clamped his warm, calloused hand over yours on instinct, listening thoughtfully to the way you described her favourite hobbies. The ones you loved along with her, and the ones you loved to make fun of her for. It was a good reminder for him, that the fruits of his instincts could be tender. An animal with at least some softness. He wasn't always so sure.

He spent a fair amount of time comforting Sarah and Wheezie when they cried as kids, but he was also usually the reason they started crying in the first place. 

After that first meeting, you awkwardly made your way out of the Church and Rafe followed behind you shortly after. When he watched you undo your bike lock, he puffed his red cheeks out and approached you with a slight shake in his knees. He wasn't nervous, it was just hot out - is what he tried to convince himself. 

He offered you a ride back to the house you were staying at with your mom in exchange for your number. You strapped yourself in his passenger seat with a smile on your lips and a special kind of spark flared up in your chest, the kind that makes you acutely aware of the sweat coating the back of your neck, sticking the hair to the skin, when your eyes met his in the rearview mirror. 

Rafe didn't look like the kind of guy that seemed well-intentioned when he asked for a girl's number. But he surprised you when he texted you once he got home. Then again all through the evening. And, in the days that followed. 

Between the texts and the phone calls, you covered a lot of ground. Now, Rafe knew about the time you peed yourself at an elementary school book fair, and you knew that he slept with his first dog's collar months after she died. You gushed about your favourite kinds of junk food while he raved about the hand-spun milkshakes at the club. 

Rafe's turn to speak in the circle was a mess, to say the least. He could hardly spit a few words about Ward, too busy navigating pregnant pauses and his newfound habit of stuttering. He thinks he might've called Ward 'nice', then very quickly grimaced after. When he heard his own voice through the rush in his ears, he thought it sounded nothing like him. He could barely even feel your gentle hand rubbing at his back when his words broke and cracked, leaving his throat with a nasty burn. 

Though Rafe knew his relationship with his dad was strained, he loved him.

It wasn't a comforting feeling, but it was the truth, and all he had. They both could have done better, he reminds himself. God knew that was true.

But at one point, he'd just been a kid. He needed help. He needed his father who always seemed to find business elsewhere. It made sense that talking about Ward was hard.

It made mourning him harder.

A perpetual flurry of emotions that kept his mind up at night and his hands restless. Anger and sadness always dominating the rest, but fighting their own fight with each other.

Anger when he thought about the ways his dad favoured Sarah.

Sadness when he remembered those rare early mornings Ward woke Rafe up for a surprise boat trip, just the two of them.

Back then, Rafe used to stay up entire nights in excitement at the prospect of spending some time alone with his father. Eventually, he had to force himself to accept that their last trip together had long passed, and right under his nose.

"Was it bad?" He groans, eyes screwed shut as he rubs a hand over his taut jaw, working lazily on a piece of gum.

He's still sitting when the room clears out. You stand to haul your bag over your shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile that he absorbs fully. Bright blue eyes drinking you in. 

"No, Rafe. It was fine. Everyone's too busy focusing on their own shit. You got through it just fine."

He gives you an unconvinced look, quirking a brow. Then he tugs at your bag, holding it instead. 

"You're lying." He frowns. With a hint of amusement in his voice, "God, and you're a bad liar, too."

Biting your lip, you take Rafe's hand in yours and drag him towards the exit, giggling quietly to yourself. He trails behind you, slowly shaking his head. He grins when you skip past the metal rack at the front of the building and pull him into the parking lot. You didn't bring your bike today. 

"C'mon, big guy. Let's get you a milkshake." You tease. "I know a place."

He rolls his eyes and laughs, letting you lead him in the opposite direction of his truck.

"You're going the wrong way, dumbass."

"I don't know, Rafe. It tastes kinda funny."

"That's because you mixed chocolate, vanilla, and peach. Who the fuck does that?"

Rafe sips on his chocolate milkshake as he sits across from you in the booth, an amused smirk tugging at his pink lips. The Island Club is somehow nicer inside than it is outside. The cherry-wood of the tables shines under the mood lighting and even near capacity, there's enough room for decent conversation. 

You pout, stirring your paper straw around in the metal cup. You perk up with an idea. 

"Let me try yours."

Rafe starts to laugh, eyes widening in protest. You're sweet, he thinks. He'd probably give you anything if you asked.

But that didn't mean he'd do it. He liked to think he was a little more challenging than that. 

"No, you made your bed." He shakes his head, gulping down another sip. It makes his Adam's apple bob. You stare mostly unashamed and lick your lips without thinking. "Now lie in it."

He watches your eyes get big for all of three seconds before realizing he'd lie right beside you.  

"Fuck, fine." He relents, taking his lip under his teeth, pang in his chest. "Don't look at me like that."

With two fingers, he pushes his cup in your direction and you hum happily as you sip from it. A sort of warm feeling in your stomach as you realize Rafe's mouth was on the same straw you're sucking on just moments before. 

"Do you know that guy? He's staring at you really hard." You mumble through the milkshake, but Rafe's eyes are fixated on your saliva-coated lips. 

"Huh?"

You turn your gaze to a guy at the bar. He's been staring at the back of Rafe's head for the better part of five minutes, squinting his eyes every so often as if to confirm it's really Rafe he's looking at. As he starts to come closer, you begin to understand why - his button-up shirt is half undone, his tawny brown hair disheveled, a far-away look in his blue eyes - he's drunk off his ass. 

Rafe turns to look. 

"Shit. Yeah, he's my sister's... long story." He sighs, forcing a smile as the guy approaches your table. "Hey, Top. What's going on, man?"

"Rafe!" The guy, Top, slurs excitedly. "I never see you around anymore, man. Where you been?" 

Then his eyes run over you and he chuckles. "Maybe I should be asking who you been with." 

It was true, Rafe had been sort of MIA since Sarah had returned with the news about his dad.

Well, except for that one incident. He hoped Topper was too drunk to remember that. In any case, he hadn't felt that guilty about their fading friendship - Topper had been MIA, too, ever since he went 'Rafe-crazy' and lit up the Chateau. He supposes that was his fault, too. 

Maybe he was avoiding him on purpose.

Topper reminded him of all the skeletons in his closet. It was hard enough living with the shame without a walking, talking reminder of his past. A lot of bravado and hair gel, is what it was. He regretted nearly everything now but sometimes he worried that if he spent enough time in the same places he used to, with the same people he used to, he'd somehow switch back. 

Rafe stiffens a little, but he gazes at you warmly. "This is Y/N. We met at, uh... she's...," 

"New." You finish for him. "Rafe's been showing me around."

At that, Rafe gives you a look. It made it sound like...

"Ah, that famous Cameron hospitality." The guy snorts. "I'm Topper."

The words 'Nice to meet you, Topper' die on your lips when he rams a hand aggressively on Rafe's shoulder and starts to laugh to himself, as if recalling memories. "Me and this guy? We go way back, Y/N. Best of friends, really."

You nod half-heartedly, shifting awkwardly in your seat. The leather of the chair underneath your bare thighs is starting to stick to the skin uncomfortably. 

"Alright, man, well it was good seeing you-," Rafe attempts to wave him off, but Topper doesn't let up.

"Look, dude." He whispers, lowering his head to Rafe's ear. He's not being as quiet as he thinks he is, and the next part of what he says makes you shudder. "I heard about your dad."

Rafe feels a wave of defeat wash over him. So, Topper wasn't too drunk to remember. 

It was one of the first nights after he'd heard about his dad. He'd spent as long as he could in the Island Club, ordering drink after drink, until he stumbled outside and spent a good chunk of the night puking his guts out. Unfortunately, that wasn't before letting his tongue fall a little too loose, and explaining to Topper how his dad hadn't really died on My Druthers because he was in Guadeloupe swimming in gold. But now, now he was really dead. And he wasn't coming back. And he'd barely said goodbye. 

"I'm really sorry, man. I know things have been really fucking weird, to say the least. But I'm sorry you're going through that. Again." Topper spills, feeling completely uninhibited. "Well, I guess it's only real this time around. But... you wouldn't have known that at the time." 

Topper winces at himself. He rubs a hand down his red face and stumbles away from the table. "Shit. Sorry. I'm just gonna-,"

"See ya, Top." Rafe cuts him off dryly. 

You look at Rafe cautiously as Topper makes his way, albeit clumsily, back to the bar. He lets out a deep breath and then slowly starts to shake his head, lifting his chin to meet your eyes with a look that seems to say - 'are you seeing this shit?'. 

"That guy used to be your best friend?" You ask with a hint of a smile, trying to diffuse the tension. You spare a glance at Topper who's slurring through his order of another drink. 

Rafe shrugs, letting out a wispy laugh. "We had our moments."

Moments he wasn't particularly eager to tell you about, but moments, nonetheless. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?"  

"What, Topper? Fuck no." He laughs harder. 

"No, not Topper. The meeting." You say sincerely. "Why you feel like you can't talk about your dad."

You feel your heart race a little at the question, wondering if Rafe is going to use it to be vulnerable. His face falls for a moment, but then it recovers. For a second, he considered it. But there's something bigger that's been weighing on his mind. 

"I was kinda hoping we could do something else." He says softly and moves in closer, cupping your cheek.

"Yeah?" You whisper, meeting his intense gaze. Hot breath fanning over his face. "And what's that?"

He tenderly moves a strand of hair out of your eyes, trying so hard to be soft that his hand is shaking. His blue eyes have specks of something else at this distance. It's the best colour you've ever seen. 

"I really need to kiss you."

He nods while he says it, like he's giving himself an affirmation. Then he's closing the space between you and pressing his lips over yours with a controlled kind of pressure you're really tempted to see snap one day. The way your mouth opens for his tongue nearly immediately almost makes it happen right now. And that'd really be a shame, he thinks, because he wants to ruin you when he has time and space to play with. 

"Stay with me tonight?" He mumbles breathily as you pull apart, and you nod as his thumb cradles your cheek.

You think you can maybe make out Topper whistling, but it's hard with all the blood rushing to your ears.

Rafe kisses like affection has been missing from his life for a long time. 

His hands are almost frustratingly gentle as they caress your jaw, but his lips, which haven't detached from yours since you entered his bedroom, more than make up for it.

They're hungry and wet with spit, entirely unsatisfied until your panting underneath him and have to bury your face in his neck to take deep, deep breaths of oxygen and his fading cologne.

He bites at your mouth and neck in the meantime, then soothes over the tender spots with his tongue while you whine and claw at the silky material on his still-clothed back.  

"This. Off." You murmur throatily, parting from his lips to tug up on the hem of his shirt. You stare unabashedly at the defined v-line that peaks out from underneath, tongue darting out to wet your lips in anticipation.

Rafe laughs, but humours you, throwing the garment off over the side of the bed so that it hits the floor somewhere. 

Still hovering over you, he leans down to press several kisses to your lips, and you take the opportunity to run the flat of your hand down his warm and muscular chest, the other hand curling around the sweaty strands of his dirty blonde hair. 

Rafe actually moans out when you tug on his hair, and the pretty sound brings a rush of heat to your core.

You squeeze your thighs together and plant open-mouthed kisses along Rafe's jaw, when his phone starts to vibrate on his bedside table. 

You turn your head to glance at the bright screen and Rafe scrunches his eyebrows together, fingers pinching at your chin to turn your focus back on him.

"I don't give a fuck who it is." He laughs breathily. "I'm not picking up. I'll break the stupid thing if I have to." 

You playfully roll your eyes before Rafe's lips attach to yours again, and you hum happily against his lips as he works them raw. Then his phone starts buzzing again.

"You wanna reconsider?" You giggle. Rafe slumps his face into your chest and groans loudly, arm extending to the table to pick up the device. He lifts his head up and glances at the notification, face twisting in what looks like shock.

"It's my sister." He says, confusion evident in his tone. "My sister never calls me."

He moves to stand up and passes you an apologetic glance.

"Sorry, I gotta take this." He mumbles in a stray kiss to the crown of your head. "Gimme a sec." 

A few seconds turns into something much longer. 

It turned out that Rafe's sister, Sarah, was calling him because of some kind of commotion that was happening at a bonfire she and her friends were at.

Apparently, the person causing the commotion was someone Rafe knew.

Based on Rafe's initial surprise and the way he's been chewing through his bottom lip the whole way to the beach, you assumed Sarah calling was a last resort for her. You got the sense she and her brother didn't talk often.

"I'm gonna handle this, alright? I need you to stay right here." Rafe says sternly, nervously running a hand through his hair.

You sit in the passenger seat of his truck, which has quickly become one of your new favourite spots, with a frown on your pretty lips that makes Rafe's chest hurt. He reaches up to cup your cheek. 

He'd tried to convince you to stay in his room while he dealt with the situation, but you were adamant about coming with. You needed to make sure he was safe. It didn't feel like there were many people that had his best interests at heart. 

"If you think I'm going to let you go out there by yourself, you really don't know me, Rafe." 

His lips twitch at that, his thumb caressing the skin under your eye.

"You're infuriating, you know that?" He murmurs softly. "Fine. C'mon."

The beach is pretty at this hour, too. The sky is dark, but not completely so - an expansive dark blue that blankets the moon. In the distance, you can see the reddish-golden flames of a bonfire that illuminate a group of people. 

"You had the cross!" An exasperated voice yells. "How was that not enough for you?!"

"Yeah, I'm afraid that's old news." Another man with long dark hair retorts humourlessly. "I'mma need my fucking my money. The money your punk asses stole from me, or did you forget that shit?!"

Getting closer, you can see that this group is separated from the much larger crowd behind them. Four guys, and two girls. One of the girls has shiny blond hair that glows under the light of the bonfire flames. Sarah, you guess. 

Three of the guys stand beside the girls. The other one stands opposite the rest of them, hands smoothing over something his pocket.

A soft gasp leaves your lips when you realize it's a gun.

Rafe stops suddenly. He turns to gaze at you with an intense look in his eyes, pupils hard as one of his hands grips your shoulder. The other reaches for your face, thumb brushing over your lip tenderly. 

"Don't move." He whispers. "Promise me." 

You feel your stomach churn at the request, wanting nothing more than to tug him by the hand all the way back to his truck. But you nod, hoping it helps alleviate the tension in his forehead. 

"Barry!" Rafe calls out as he turns around and approaches them. 

The man with the gun tucked in his jeans, Barry, looks over his shoulder and huffs. Rafe roughly pushes him away from the rest of the group and they divulge into a heated conversation. Rafe's jaw ticks as he listens to Barry and receives a firm shove to the chest. But he manages to placate the other man by whispering something into his ear. Barry ends up nodding, and he casts one more angry glance at the rest of the group then begins to retreat. 

"Y'all have a good night, now." He chuckles grudgingly before leaving. 

Rafe makes his way back to the rest of them, nodding at his sister. You slowly come up behind him. 

"Thanks." Sarah seems to hesitate to say. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and there are frustrated tears in her eyes.

The relationship between Rafe and Sarah has been strained for a long time. They seemed to fundamentally disagree with each other.

It wasn't always that way. Or at least, Rafe thinks, it wasn't always that way. One day, his sister upped and left it all - the big house, the fancy clothes, the nice cars - for 'Pogue life'. It still made his nose crinkle in disgust when he thought about it. But the truth was, he hadn't thought about it in a while... their dad dying worked to break them out of that feud. There were bigger things to worry about, and despite everything that went down in the last few years, they'd lived a whole life together before that.

That still meant something to Rafe. 

It meant something to Sarah, too, he thinks, because she'd been less appalled by him lately. She checked in every once in a while. A few months back, he'd formally apologized to her, and of course, it would never be enough, but he felt a weight off his shoulder when she accepted it. When he realized she wasn't scared of him anymore. 

Maybe they could move passed everything. It would take a long time, sure. But he could wait for family. The only family he has. 

One of the guys nexts to Sarah, wearing a backwards baseball cap, stiffens.

"Don't thank him. He's Barry's bitch." He bites like Sarah's words are absurd, then stares hard at Rafe. "In fact, he's probably just here to score some more coke."

Rafe's grits his teeth, eyes fluttering shut for a second. He opens them and shakily exhales. 

"I'm clean, now." 

Your heart clenches at how raw his voice sounds. You watch with wide eyes as the same guy scoffs at him.

"Yeah, like anybody believes that." He mumbles under his breath. Before you can try and defend him, Sarah steps in. 

"Guys, I called him." She admits, fatigue evident in her voice. It makes you wonder how long the confrontation between them had gone on before you and Rafe showed up. Another guy, one wearing a bandana across his forehead, casts Sarah a sour glance and she sighs. "You know I had to, John B. Did you want Barry to leave, or not?"

He didn't have anything to say to that. 

Sarah steps away from her friends in an attempt at some privacy. She approaches Rafe, and by extension, you, while the rest of the gang diffuses around the bonfire. Whatever had gone down in the past between these people, it was clear they wanted nothing to do with Rafe moving forward, and it was perhaps only because Sarah was family that she even entertained speaking to him. You appreciated her for that. 

"It's been a while." Sarah comments. "You've been... doing okay?"

Rafe shuffles nervously in front of her, nodding without meeting her eyes. 

"Yeah, I've been good. You?" 

Sarah nods and a silence falls between them. 

"You're still hanging around Barry?" She asks, raising an eyebrow in disapproval. 

"He's not that bad."

"Yeah, I'll try to remember that when he's not threatening me and my friends for 25 thousand dollars."

Rafe shakes his head with a new-found confidence, raising his chin to meet her stormy and inquisitive eyes. "Nah, I talked to him. He won't bother you guys anymore."

Sarah nods again, and another silence falls between them. 

"You're really doing good?" She asks again, bottom lip wedged beneath her teeth.

"Yeah, I am. I'm, uh, getting help. Got this... group thing."

At the mention of a 'group', Sarah's eyes sweep over to you, drinking in your slightly turned face and averted gaze as you try to give the siblings some space for their conversation. She feels her lips twitch a little. So much had happened. A lot she didn't think she would ever forgive, maybe should never forgive. But she couldn't deny that it was more complex than that, nor could she deny that she missed her older brother. The one from before. Who she'd make eye contact across the dinner table with when Rose waxed poetic about their new marble counters. If they could find their way back there, she'd be lying if she said the idea didn't make her happy. 

"I'm really happy to hear that, Rafe. Honestly." 

Rafe smiles weakly. They say their goodbyes and manage an awkward side-hug with each other. When he turns around, you silently take his hand in yours, and you walk along the roaring beach back to his truck. 

Back at the truck, you lay your head on Rafe's shoulder as he sits in the driver's seat, still parked at the side of the road. Rafe keeps his eyes closed, taking a deep breath before he starts to speak. 

"My dad scared me." 

Instinctively, you reach your hand over the console and tangle your fingers together. You give his hand a gentle squeeze. 

"I fucked up a lot, embarrassed him. And I, uh, I don't blame him for that. I was high all the time. Angry. Violent." He continues, sniffling slightly. "He wasn't scared of me, though. Never was."

"I guess I just wanted him to look at me and not be ashamed, you know?"

Rafe gulps, trying to let the sound of your soft hums and the warmth of your body keep him steady. 

"I did some really bad things to people. Things I'm not proud of." He whispers with his head hanging. "They didn't deserve it... and now, I have to live with that."

He shuts his eyes and exhales. 

"It's, uh... it's really hard living with that."

Lifting your head from his shoulder, you bite your lip as you take in Rafe's words, fingers reaching forward to brush away the spare tears that collect on his cheeks. He leans into your touch, finding comfort in it. 

"Hey." You say softly. "Look at you, talking about your dad. You're doing a really good job, Rafe."

He smiles weakly, his eyes trained on his lap. "Sorry tonight was a bust."

"It wasn't." You protest. "Plus, it's not over yet."

Rafe lifts his chin to look at you, his curiosity piqued.

You lick your lips and trace your fingers along his jaw, maneuvering yourself over the console to firmly grip the sides of his face and pull his lips to yours in a long and messy kiss. It's clumsy, with your noses bumping, and teeth scraping - but it's hot and it makes you feel tingly.

Rafe nips at your bottom lip shamelessly, kisses trailing down the column of your throat. "In the truck?" He asks, and you can practically hear the grin in his voice.

"In the truck." You breathe, holding back a moan when Rafe sucks on your skin. 

One way or another, the two of you find your way into Rafe's backseat. He's sitting with his legs wedged apart while you grind on top of him, muttering obscenities under your breath and weaving your fingers through his hair.

The sounds of your pleasure do more for him than he'd care to admit. When you unzip his slacks and stick your hand into his briefs to pull out his leaky cock, he throws his head back against the headrest and hisses at the contact. He is so fucking sensitive already.

"No, don't." Rafe protests breathlessly when you stroke his hard cock a few times, his hand slipping from your hip to wrap around your wrist and pull it away. Your eyes widen and you unfurl your hand immediately, only to smile when you realize why he wants you to stop. He tries to calm himself down, but can feel it building. 

"It's been a while." Rafe defends, and you giggle on top of him, pressing a sloppy kiss to the underside of his jaw. 

"Honestly, Rafe. That's really fucking hot." 

You pull your top over your head and toss it to the floor, then quickly unclasp your bra. Rafe groans immediately, half-lidded eyes so pretty and pitiful as one of his hands reaches up to grope you, while his mouth latches on to one of the hardening buds. You raise your hips to pull down your shorts, but it's not quick enough for Rafe. He tugs impatiently at the lace of your panties. 

Rafe sits you down on him, letting you control the speed as he enters you. Your mouth falls open as you attempt to take him fully, eyes screwed shut, gasp after gasp leaving your lips. 

"Fuck." You pant as he bottoms out, unable to move for a second as your head slumps in his chest. Rafe chuckles underneath you, large hands squeezing your hips. 

"You okay, baby?" 

"It's just big." You murmur, taking your bottom lip under your teeth. "It's really big, Rafe."

"I know," he coos softly as you begin to rock your hips on top of him, his own face twisting in pleasure as your pelvises kiss. "But you're doing so good, huh?"

You can barely respond, too taken by the feeling of your tight walls squeezing around him. By the sound of Rafe's deep thrusts, pistoling up into you as your hips knock into each other sloppily. Your slick dripping from where you're connected down to your thighs, squelching obscenely inside Rafe's truck, definitely staining the seats. 

"Taking my cock so well." He praises. "Splitting you in half, and you're taking it like a champ." 

You moan brokenly as Rafe hits your spot, his hand trailing down at the same time to rub circles on your aching clit with his thumb. 

"My good girl, huh? Always will be?"

You reach your climax as he presses searing kisses on your shoulder, shuddering with the kind of white hot pleasure that has your toes curling and a high-pitched whine vibrating from your throat that Rafe is sure he'll never forget. 

He comes shortly after, the way you clench around him through your orgasm enough to send him reeling. He groans, pumping his hips a few more times before he stills completely and fills the condom with his spend. He holds you tightly as you both come down, the sounds of your heavy breathing overlapping with each other.

Before his cock softens, he pulls out slowly and disposes of the latex. He presses a soft kiss to your cheekbone when you frown at the loss of contact, whimpering sweetly.

"Don't pout, princess. You need to get filled up? Right here?" A slender finger trails down to your slit, bumping your sensitive clit in the process, and it prods at your wet hole. 

He chuckles, brushing the sweaty hair from your face with his other hand. "I got that. Just gotta be patient and wait 'til I get you home. You can do that for me, right, pretty girl?"

The next morning, you strap yourself into the passenger seat of Rafe's truck as he drives to a busted Church at the outer edge of Figure 8. He takes his seat amongst a circle of foldable chairs and you take your seat next to him. His hand reaches out to grip yours not different from how it did last night, through fucking and sleeping alike.

When it's his turn to speak, you squeeze his hand encouragingly and he takes a deep breath.

"My dad, Ward Cameron, passed away about a year ago. He was a lot of things...,"

a/n: thank you for reading! comments/reblogs appreciated!!

✩ — SINEMIES

PAIRING‧₊˚  Rafe Cameron x Kook!Fem!Reader

SYNOPSIS‧₊˚  [2.8k] Returing to Kildare after years away, your mentality may have changed but you still have some old habits...

WARNING(S)‧₊˚  swearing, mild p*rn without plot but the plot was fun to write, smut

A/N‧₊˚ part of my angstober event!

˗ˏˋ rafe masterlist ˎˊ˗

A COMPACT MIRROR WAS HELD UP TO YOUR LIPS AS YOU TOUCHED UP YOUR LIPS, blotting them together before clamping the small object shut. You could feel the car finally come to a halt before the driver turned to face you.

“We’ve arrived, miss.” He announced, tone chipper and bright as always. You pulled a neatly folded one-hundred dollar bill from your bra and held it out to him, watching as he took the bill as humbly as possible.

“Thank you, Martin.” You thanked your personal driver, the man who had fathered you possibly more than your own, who was always gone on 'business'. Business being running around sleeping with women who were half his age and sipping Martini’s in a hot tub on a skyscraper rooftop 500 miles away. 

“My pleasure. You stay safe now.” He insisted, raising a brow as you offered a smile and reached for the handle. 

“Will do. Have a nice night.” You bid farewell as you swung the door of the sleek, black vehicle open, taking extra care to make sure your legs were never too far apart as you stepped out. The dress you picked out was just brushing what was considered ‘business casual’. You held your matching clutch close to your side and tried your best to ignore the way your heels made the arches of your feet ache. 

Wiggling your fingers at the man behind the wheel, you shut the door and watched as the car drove away. Turning your attention to the house you hadn’t seen in years and honestly hoped to never see again. The Cameron Residence was practically a historical landmark in Kildare. The house hadn’t aged in the years you’d been gone — walking out of it as a heartbroken eighteen year old girl and walking the path up to the door as a refined twenty-two year old woman. 

You could hear the low, classical music playing and the faint chatter of the guests inside. Shadows passing by as silhouettes in front of the curtains, the only lights that were on being on the first level of the home. 

You wasted no time, even in your careful observing, in taking strides towards the front door which would undoubtedly be unlocked, walking carefully as to not trip over your feet and make a fool of yourself. 

When your hand touched the doorknob, pushing open the only structure keeping you from the rest of the party, it was like stepping into a new reality. It was a reality you’d left behind in exchange for college campus life, which was more homey. More comforting and cozy, it kept you grounded. 

This reality was superficial, so superficial it nauseated you like never before. Art pieces on the white walls that cost way too much money and had no real meaning, sports trophies that were bought with wealth statuses and daddy’s money littered amongst coffee tables and mantelpieces. 

But you’d only have to suffer a couple hours and get what you came here for.

“You made it!” A voice beamed close to your ear, turning to see Sarah Cameron walking speedily in a pair of heels and a cream colored silk dress. Her arms were up as she made a b-line in your direction, a genuine smile falling across your face. You adored Sarah. She was probably one of the most genuine people who ever lived on Figure Eight. 

She embraced you tightly, swaying side to side as she did. “Oh, I missed you. We have so much to catch up on!” She gushed, releasing you from her grasp to grab a hold of your wrist instead. “Everyone’s in the backyard. C’mon, they’ve been waiting for you.” The ecstatic blonde girl gave you no time to greet her back or return her affections as she dragged you through the crowd of middle-aged business men and women. 

Stepping into the backyard where circular tables were set up with white tablecloths, candles placed perfectly in the middle of each one. It wasn’t long before your eyes landed on them all standing around one of the set ups. And it wasn’t long before they spotted you too, waving you and Sarah both over.

When you came to a stop in front of them as Sarah released your arm, you were pulled into another embrace by Ward himself. “Oh, honey, look at you!” He cooed, giving you a tight squeeze before pulling back and letting his hands rest on your shoulders. “You look beautiful. Where’s your father? Is he going to make it?”

You gave the man a pained smile. “Thank you, Mr.Cameron. No, he won’t. He’s in the city on ‘unofficial business’.” You spoke, spite evident in your voice. “You know how that goes.”

Ward gave you a comforting smile and squeezed your shoulder reassuringly before removing his hands. “Well, give him my best when you do see him.” With the conversation ending there, you turned your attention to the rest of the people surrounding the table. 

Rose perched under Ward’s arm, Wheezie leaned over the table with her elbows propped up on the surface while she fiddled with her phone, and Rafe. 

He stood directly across from you, hands in the pockets of his slacks as his eyes bored shamelessly into yours.

You stared back for a moment, narrowing your eyes. After a moment, you gave him a thin-lipped smile and small nod of your head in acknowledgement of his presence. “Hi, Rafe.”

“I didn’t think you’d be coming this year.” He spoke, voice deeper and more raspy than you remember. But you had to admit, he looked better. No longer strung out on drugs, mind racing all over the place. He looked tamed.

“Wouldn’t miss it.” You assured him. The tension was palpable and you’re sure the rest of the Cameron family could feel it as Rose and Ward dismissed themselves to greet guests while Sarah dragged Wheezie to go eat all the sample foods in the kitchen with her. 

You and Rafe had dated practically all throughout high school. It was good until it wasn't. Rafe made you fall in love with a version of him that didn't exist and when the mask slipped there was no putting it back on. The relationship became the bane of your existence at some point during it. It couldn't even be described as toxic. Vile is probably a better word.

Once it was just the two of you, Rafe rounded the table to stand next to you as a waiter came around to hand you each a glass of champagne. You sat your clutch on the table and sipped on the beverage as he stood silently next to you, both of you facing forwards watching the party go on around you.

“Are you going to say something?” You asked flatly, tracing the rim of your glass.

“Why are you here?”

“Was I not invited?”

“You only ever come because your father asks you to just so he and my father can talk about property and money. But your father isn’t here. So why are you?” He pointed out.

You chuckled smally to yourself, finally turning your head to look at him as he did the same. “If you think I’m here for you, don’t flatter yourself.” You poked, leaning your weight on the table. “I’m surprised Ward didn’t mention anything to you.”

His eyebrows pinched together. “Mention what?”

“I came here to talk to him. About his company.” You started, taking a short sip of your champagne before continuing. “I want it and if my offer is good enough, he’s going to sell it to me.”

You'd struck a nerve in him. Nostrils flaring, fists balled on the surface of the top as he tried to compose himself. He had never been good with managing his anger. It was good to see that some things never change.

“Why the fuck would my father sell our family business to you?” He spat. “It’s mine. He said it was mine.”

“Well, it seems daddy lied to you.” You shrugged, looking Rafe in the eyes. “Like father, like son.”

Rafe’s eyes were running wild, his cheeks a deep shade of red. He took a step closer to you, placing his lips next to your ear as he spoke. “You’re bluffing. You've always been a bad bluff so, just say you missed me so we can fuck and you can go home.”

“I didn’t travel over two-hundred miles for you, Rafe.” You shot back, voice at his level now. “You never fucked me good enough for that type of commitment.”

“That’s funny. Considering all the screaming you were doing the night before you left for your fancy little Ivy-League School.” 

“You mean the night you begged me to come over? Crying about how you needed me-” You were cut off when Rafe abruptly gripped your upper arm, swiftly dragging you through the huddles of guests, into the house, and into the first open bathroom. He practically used your arm to throw you into the vacant area, closing the door behind himself.

His hands were trailing your thighs and underneath your dress before you could speak, his face only inches from yours. You didn’t think you’d ever miss his touch. It was always so rushed and rough. But now it was deliberately gentle and borderline seductive. 

“I will never forget the easiest way to get you to shut up. You're still the same.”

You snarled at him, mumbling an insult under your breath.

You hadn’t taken notice of the way your hands balled up your dress at the sides in your annoyance, making it easier for his hands to maneuver its way to the front of your panties, pressing the lightest of pressure to your clit. 

Your words had died in your throat, all insults and jabs getting swallowed down as you eyed him up and down while your heart beat out of your chest. Your lips were parted with small breaths leaving your lips every few seconds, refusing to give him complete satisfaction. “This doesn’t change anything.”

A smirk edged on his face before his head dipped down, using his nose to tip your chin up to gain access to your neck. You put up minimal struggle — you knew this wasn’t what you planned to do once you got here. You were here to rub the deal in his face, not fuck him in the downstairs bathroom of his mansion. But that plan became increasingly harder to carry out while he was sucking and licking your neck in all the right places that made you bite down on your tongue to keep quiet while his fingers moved your panties to the side, making contact with your bundle of nerves. One of your own hands released your dress to grab the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer.

The tips of his calloused fingers gilded easily through your dripping folds. He sighed into your neck at the contact and you could feel him smile against your skin, his fingers tracing your core leisurely. “You don’t hate me nearly as much you think you do.”

His words made your blood boil and your legs go weak all at the same time. If he was going to fuck you, then he needed to do just that and shut up while he was at it.

Your free hand ran its up his clothed back, cupping the back of his neck as he resumed his assault on yours. You had to bite down on your lip to stop yourself from making noise that any guest within ten feet of the door would hear as he eagerly pushed two of his fingers inside of you. You were never the quietest.

Your grip on his neck grew tighter, nails digging into the skin as his thick fingers curled and pumped between your legs. You’d been with other guys since Rafe but he knew you too well, which gave him an advantage that you hated. “Oh, fuck…” You muttered when you could no longer hold your profanities in your chest.

Releasing the hand that remained on your dress, you grabbed his wrist in a desperate attempt to shove his digits deeper into your core. 

He must’ve taken this as a sign that you wanted much more than he was offering because it wasn’t long before his fingers went from carefully massaging your g-spot to ramming into you callously. Your mouth fell open, the hand grabbing his wrist now gripping his forearm, feeling the veins on his biceps through his shirt. 

His head retreated from your neck to crash his lips against yours. His kisses no longer tasted like coke how they used to —- chemical and bitter. The only thing you could taste was the fruity-sweet undertones of the expensive champagne. It made your heart clench in the slightest of ways, knowing that just maybe he wasn’t the same person he was when you left.

But you knew he also wasn’t someone you could ever be with.

You were just about to reach your climax when he pulled his fingers back, leaving you empty and clenching around nothing. You didn’t even have a second to complain before he was dropping you to the floor, feet landing on the hardwood floor just in time to catch yourself.

Rafe hiked up your dress above your hips, pulling your panties down like a man starved and turning you to face the wall before using a hand on your back to bend you over. One of your own hands came up to slap itself against the painted surface, keeping you steady.

You could hear him unbutton his pants before letting them drop down his thighs, hearing his shoes shuffle closer behind you before you felt the warm head of his cock, smearing precum over your heat.

He wasted little time in pushing into you, a small groan leaving his lips as both of his hands went to grip your hips, pulling you back onto him with every thrust forward. Quick breaths and low moans were leaving your lips with every slap of his hips against yours.

His pace was moderate, but he was so deep that every push back into you felt like a kick to the gut in the best way possible.

You only felt a little shame when you realized this was exactly where Rafe wanted you. But this didn’t change anything after the fact. And he didn’t know that yet.

You started to feel that knot in your abdomen wind itself tighter again, pulling and pulling until after one particularly deep, knee-trembling thrust and the unexpected feeling of his fingers rubbing circles into your clit, you snapped. Coming around him as your nails scratched against the wall and you let out a long, breathy moan.

He wasn’t far behind you, grip on your hip growing tighter as his thrusts grew more rapid and sloppy, pushing you farther up the wall as your body began to straighten itself out, trembling as his circling of your nerves hadn't let up and he rode out your own high while still fucking into you. You felt the familiar feeling of him spilling inside of you within seconds. You didn’t think you would ever forget it.

You didn’t let him bask in his post-sex haze for long, pulling your garments back on and into place after he pulled out before silently moving around him to see yourself in the mirror. You fixed your loose strands of hair and lip gloss that somehow ran down your lips and onto your chin. You could see the blur of him in the reflective surface behind you as he pulled his pants back on, hair messed and skin red.

Once you deemed yourself decent, you creaked the door open, peeking to see who was near. When you figured the coast was clear, you slipped out of the door, leaving Rafe behind.

You weaved your way through the crowd of people that had thinned out somewhat, heading for the backyard where you realized you had carelessly left your clutch on the table. Making it back to the table where Rafe had dragged you from, half-drunk glasses of champagne and your abandoned clutch on the surface, you grabbed it, ready to turn around and find Ward. 

But of course, the second you turned back to the patio doors, Rafe was just inches behind you.

“You’re leaving now, right?”

You couldn’t help but scoff humorously. “What?”

“You got what you came here for so you’re leaving.” He said as if he had it all figured out. You didn’t think he seriously thought you were bluffing about the business proposal. Poor thing.

“I already told you, Rafe,” You started, shaking your head with a small grin on your face. “I’m not here for you.”

His face morphed into one of great annoyance and mild anger as your name was called, echoing outside. Your gaze shifted behind the irritated man to find Ward coming your way.

Stopping in front of you, he spoke without really noticing his son’s presence. “I’m so glad I caught you. I’ve been busy all night but-” Suddenly, he seemed to notice Rafe’s figure in front of you, hesitant eyes whipping between the both of you to carefully select his next words, not aware of the fact that his son now knew the one thing he didn’t want him to. “...I’d really still like a chance to talk about… that thing, before you go.”

You nodded, only really wanting to conceal the childish smile on your face. “That’d be great, Mr.Cameron. I’ll be sure to stick around.”

The older man gave you a grateful nod, pitifully eyeing his son before heading back inside. Your own gaze shifted back to Rafe, you could’ve sworn you saw steam rising from his ears. And though you felt a twinge of guilt, you just couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You are a lot of things Rafe,” You started, picking up your champagne glass from the table behind you before looking at him again. “But better than me is not one of them.”

General taglist; @livlaughquinn

Event Taglist; @timmytime17

feedback is appreciated! thanks for reading.

©loveharlow

kinktober: dacryphilia

words: 300

warnings: 18+ only, smut, crying, f receiving oral, p in v sex, edging

taglist: @user3729107491 @thelomlisrafecameron @slut4drudy @runningfrom2am @f4ll-for-you @rafescokenostril @sickyrat @darleneslane

“did you just cum without permission?” rafe asks, looking up at you from his spot in between your legs.

“i’m-” you shake your head, knowing you’re unable to deny it as rafe tasted you on his tongue when you let go. “i’m so sorry.” 

“baby.” rafe tsks, looking up at you with disapproval. 

“i’m so sorry rafe.” you let out a sob, tears falling down your face, unable to hold them back from slipping down your cheeks.

rafe looks up at you in awe, cock absolutely pulsing at seeing you crying. rafe stands up suddenly, bending forward and laying his body over yours, pressing his lips to your cheeks. 

“god, you crying shouldn’t be so hot.” rafe mumbles, but you don’t hear most of his words as his cock presses against your entrance, making a few more tears shed as you shake in pleasure.

“i’m sorry rafe, i’m sorry.” you sniff. “i shouldn’t have cum without your permission.” “hey, hey.” rafe says, pushing your hair out of your face as he glides his cock up and down over your pussy, spreading your juices over his length. “it’s okay honey.” rafe feels guilty, not wanting you to be upset and crying but at the same time being immensely turned on.

“i’m gonna fuck you now, do you want that, hm?” he asks, and you nod quickly, large eyes looking up at him as he pushes inside of you.

“feels so good, rafey.” you whine loudly, chest heaving up and down as you are unable to hold back your loud cries, pleasure overwhelming you.

“i know it does, baby.” rafe bends down, kissing along your cheek and jaw. rafe sucks your skin in between his teeth, leaving a purple bruise in his wake as he continues giving you hickeys. “go ahead and cry harder for me, hm.”

“rafe, i-” you try to speak, but his cock presses deeper inside of you, his thumb coming to rub at your clit. you cry out as rafe requested, tears flowing steadily now.

“shouldn’t be so hot.” rafe whispers again, moving faster.

kinktober: dacryphilia

words: 300

warnings: 18+ only, smut, p in v sex

taglist: @drewstarkeysbae @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @slut4drudy @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana

“did you just cum without permission?” rafe asks, looking up at you from his spot in between your legs.

“i’m-” you shake your head, knowing you’re unable to deny it as rafe tasted you on his tongue when you let go. “i’m so sorry.” 

“baby.” rafe tsks, looking up at you with disapproval. 

“i’m so sorry rafe.” you let out a sob, tears falling down your face, unable to hold them back from slipping down your cheeks.

rafe looks up at you in awe, cock absolutely pulsing at seeing you crying. rafe stands up suddenly, bending forward and laying his body over yours, pressing his lips to your cheeks. 

“god, you crying shouldn’t be so hot.” rafe mumbles, but you don’t hear most of his words as his cock presses against your entrance, making a few more tears shed as you shake in pleasure.

“i’m sorry rafe, i’m sorry.” you sniff. “i shouldn’t have cum without your permission.” “hey, hey.” rafe says, pushing your hair out of your face as he glides his cock up and down over your pussy, spreading your juices over his length. “it’s okay honey.” rafe feels guilty, not wanting you to be upset and crying but at the same time being immensely turned on.

“i’m gonna fuck you now, do you want that, hm?” he asks, and you nod quickly, large eyes looking up at him as he pushes inside of you.

“feels so good, rafey.” you whine loudly, chest heaving up and down as you are unable to hold back your loud cries, pleasure overwhelming you.

“i know it does, baby.” rafe bends down, kissing along your cheek and jaw. rafe sucks your skin in between his teeth, leaving a purple bruise in his wake as he continues giving you hickeys. “go ahead and cry harder for me, hm.”

“rafe, i-” you try to speak, but his cock presses deeper inside of you, his thumb coming to rub at your clit. you cry out as rafe requested, tears flowing steadily now.

“shouldn’t be so hot.” rafe whispers again, moving faster.

russian roulette- rafe cameron

pair: rafe cameron x fem!drug-boss!reader

genre: smut & tiny teeny bit of angst maybe -> 18+ only!!

warnings: knife play, gun play, blood play, blood licking, mentions of death, mentions of drugs, mentions of alcohol, implied sex on drugs, chocking (sexual way)…, i hope i didn’t forget anything but yeah this one here is a little bit darker

even though this is all written with the intention that it’s 100% consensual, please keep in mind that guns, knives (and indirectly drugs) are involved

words: ~5.7k

summary: a visit to his drug boss turned into a fight over control and power which can only one of them win

note: I have never written anything like this before so i hope it didn’t turn out too bad, other than that, enjoy :)

48 hours. That’s the amount of time Rafe Cameron had to come up with five thousand dollars. Sure, for someone like him, this shouldn't be a big deal but his dad cut off his money as a punishment for misusing the money he gave him for generators after the storm “Agatha'' hit the outer banks. He was broke and in deep shit. So deep, that alone the thought of time passing every second sent a cold shiver down his spine. He knew Barry wasn’t one to fuck with, no drug dealer was but it was something else, something that Barry said before Rafe left his house, that wouldn't leave his brain.

“If you’re screwing me, it’s not just me that you’re screwing, it’s her.”

Her.

Now, Rafe Cameron had never met her before but he heard the stories. Stories of cars burning in driveways, stories of boats that fail in the middle of the ocean, and even whole companies being shut down all because of her. Not a lot of people on this island have ever come across her, or maybe they have but never knew it was her. Those unlucky souls that did indeed meet her, described her as a woman made of nothing but cold beauty as if the devil made her himself. Eyes so pure and warm, a body so divine and perfect with a soul so dark and evil, even Lucifer himself would shiver if he ever looked into it.

But Rafe didn't believe these stories. How could a woman, described as barely older than him, be capable of something like that? How could someone with eyes so pure be so evil? And yet, even though he tried to convince himself, alone the thought of being exposed to her anger, sent shivers down his spine.

And yet, he found himself at the address, an unknown number texted him, as word got around that he wanted to meet her. He had to check twice if he was at the right address since he found himself in front of his step moms favorite flower shop.

He let his hand trace over his back pocket, checking if everything he might need was there before he took a deep breath and walked towards the store.

“Hello darling, what can I do for you?” An elderly woman asked as soon as he entered the shop.

“I uhmm…” He paused as he tried to remember the code word that was given to him. “I am here for hmm… black lilies.”

“Black lilies?” She asked as she raised an eyebrow.

“Yep. Black lilies.”

“Well, in that case you have to come with me, sir.” She signalized him to follow her and walked into the private area of the shop where she stopped in front of a door. She opened it with her key before signaling him to go inside. It was an old utility room, or so he thought. In reality, it was some sort of elevator that brought him down into the basement of the building.

When the door opened, he found himself in some sort of dark office. It looked comfortable, even though it had no sort of daylight. Even though the room had no windows, it smelled fresh in there, like flowers. He quickly found them on the shelf next to another door, probably coming from the flower shop above them. In the middle was a desk and behind it, sat a woman, with a glass of brown liquor in her right hand and a newspaper in the other. She was laying back in her chair with her feet resting on the desk.

“I’ve been expecting you, Rafe Cameron.” She said, without looking up at the man in front of the elevator. “Now come on darling, take a seat.” She smiled softly as she gestured to the seat on the other side of the desk. He was only now able to see her whole and they weren’t wrong. She was beautiful, probably the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on, with eyes so soft he felt like he could tell her everything. Her wavy hair was falling over her shoulders gracefully, matching her silky black dress perfectly. he didn’t see much of it, since it was hidden behind her desk but it was tight, so tight that he could see the borders of what he assumed were nipple piercings, making it hard for Rafe to keep his eyes up.

“Thank you, Miss …”

“(Y/L/N).”

“(Y/L/N).” He finished.

“Now, can I offer you something to drink, Mr. Cameron?” She asked, with a smile so beautiful, one could easily forget who she was.

“I’m good, thank you.”

“So whiskey or vodka? I also got rum but you don’t seem like a rum type of person.”

“Whiskey.” He answered shortly.

She nodded and poured him a drink. He took the time she was distracted to look around her office a little bit more, trying to figure out if she could have any weapons hidden but there was one thing he’d noticed immediately, since the second he entered that office.

“So… are you alone down here?” He asked, trying to hide the slight shakiness in his voice.

She looked at him in disbelief before handing him his drink. “That’s not a subtle way to find out if it’s just the two of us, Mr. Cameron.”

“Oh god, no I… I just thought that maybe you’d have some security or something.”

“See darling, if I’ve learned one thing during my few years in this business, it’s to not trust anyone else with my safety, except myself. She scoffed. “But why are you asking? Are your intentions not as pure as I thought they were?” She asked carefully, her eyes never leaving him.

Her gaze burned right through him, causing him to shit around in his seat. “Oh no, they are as pure as they can be.” He spoke, his voice a little bit shakier than he intended to be and his eyes not leaving the desk in front of him, as he desperately tried to avoid hers. He was nervous and she knew it.

“Hmmm.” She purred as she swung her legs from the table in order to position herself closer to him. He now looked around the room, pretending like he was just waiting for a response when he suddenly felt a cold material against his skin, gently pushing his face up. He didn't need to look to know what it was, he knew exactly what the barrel of a gun felt like. He swallowed at the realization, now slowly looking up into her eyes. What once seemed so warm and welcoming once, now turned ice cold. “Then tell me, pretty boy, why aren’t you able to look me in the eyes? You haven't once since you arrived here, only staring when I wasn’t looking. Such a shame actually, you have such pretty eyes.”

“I…” He wanted to say something but it was like the words suddenly left his brain, but even if he had known what to say, he wouldn’t have gotten any word out due to his throat turning dry as dust.

“Shht it’s okay, darling, I knew about that gun in your back pocket since the moment you got here. You should learn how to hide it better. Now tell me, why did you want to meet?” She smirked, “And before you answer, slowly put your gun up here and leave your hands on the table. Don’t bother lying sweetheart, I’ll know.” Her voice turned dark now, nothing like the sweet sound from when he first got there.

“Fine.” He growled, as he reached into his back pocket and did as he was told. She pushed the gun aside with a grin, her eyes still not leaving him for a second. “I owe you money, a lot actually, and-”

“And you wanted to ask for more time?” She let out a soft laugh.

“Oh come on, don’t pretend like you didn’t know that already.” The boy scoffed and it was as if something shifted in him. “Now you have my hands and my gun, what about you putting that thing away so we can have a civilized conversation.”

“So, so many demands, one could think you’re the one charge.”

“Oh no ma'am, we all know you are.” He smirked, a dark sparkle in his light eyes.

She was surprised at his sudden confidence but impressed enough to put the gun away. “So you came here, only to tell me that you have no money?” She chuckled. “That’s bold.”

“I thought maybe I could do something else for you, to pay my debt.” The young man proposed, causing the girl to raise an eye. “A job, of course.” He added quickly as he realized how his proposal sounded at first. Even though he would have lied to himself if he said he wouldn’t be open to that as well.

“And what job do you have in mind, Mr. Cameron?” She asked as she leaned forward, crossing her arms under her chest. “What could you possibly do for me that would cover your debt?”

“You tell me.” He smirked confidently. “You’re the boss, aren't you?” Now it was him that moved closer to her. It was hard to tell for either of them where this newfound confidence came from when his heart was in his boots only moments ago. But there was something else Rafe was feeling, a feeling that came up every time she laid her eyes on him. He was smitten by her beauty and her power and he didn’t want to admit it but he was impressed. How did she manage to climb that ladder up so high, in a business that was dominated by middle-aged men?

“Right… You know, I might actually have a job for you.”

“Continue…”

She told him about how she needed a driver for her next shipment since her regular one got into an accident. It was an easy job and would pay way more than he owed her. He was in immediately, no further questions asked. She was about to explain the details when her phone started ringing.

“Excuse me.” She mumbled as she grabbed her phone and disappeared into the next room.

While she was gone, Rafe used the time to look around when his eyes fell on the leftovers of some white powder next to her glass. He wasn’t craving anything right now, but he knew he’d be later.

Rafe also knew it was a bad idea from the moment he got it but he knew how the withdrawal would feel like, he had to go through it way too often before. So he got up and carefully looked around, trying to find any sign of her coming back but he could still hear her cussing around in the other room in a language that he assumed was Spanish. It made sense since he knew she had contacts in Middle and South America.

He walked around the desk, trying not to make a sound until he was standing next to her empty chair. He tried to open the drawers but none of them would open except for one. He carefully opened it and there it was, a tiny bag of white powder.

He thought about it for another moment, knowing this would probably be the stupidest thing he ever did, even worse than buying that bike from the generator money, but then, when the addiction hit, no one was able to think rationally, and Rafe Cameron the least.

He took the bag and quietly closed the drawer, again, trying not to make any alarming noises. He took his gun and shoved the bag into his pocket before letting himself fall back into the seat, as he waited for her to come back.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart, someone messed up my last shipment and now they’ve got the cops investigating.” She explained as she entered the room. Her eyes immediately traveled to the missing gun on the table, but she chose to let it go.

“I’m sorry to hear that ma’am.”

“Oh don’t worry about it, it will resolve itself on its own soon.” She smirked confidently as if she had a backup plan for something like this all along.

“I’m afraid I have to leave now…” Rafe stumbled, trying to contain his voice from becoming all shaky again but it was hard considering he just robbed a drug boss. “Can you… can you text me the details?”

“Sure.” She answered, with a smile on her face that was way too soft and friendly for his liking.

He got up and reached out to shake her hand, which she returned. “Then…thank you for giving me this chance and I promise I won’t disappoint.” He mumbled more than actually speak.

“Oh, you won’t.” She smirked and got closer to him, dangerously closer to him.

He gave her a stern and a rather uncomfortable nod before he turned around on his heels, dying to get out of there as soon as possible. He thought he did it when he suddenly felt the cold metal of a gun pressed against his head. He closed his eyes at the feeling, trying to stay calm because he knew doing that was his best and probably the only option.

“Did you really think I would just let you walk away after you stole from me?” She whispered into his ear, followed by a soft laugh. “You are dumber than I thought.”

“If you shoot me, you will never see your money.” He spoke quietly.

“You think I’m relying on your money?” She chuckled. “Sweetheart, I'd buy myself a new pair of heels from the money you owe me.” He took a deep breath, trying to think of what to do next. He still had his gun in his back pocket but she was standing so close to him, he was sure that she even felt it against her leg. “Now put your hands up, pretty boy.”

He did as told and slowly turned around, now looking directly into her stone-cold eyes. He tried to keep cool but his heart was pounding like it never had before. He was scared, obviously but there was also something about this scenario that turned him on. Maybe it was the intoxicating smell of her perfume, maybe it was the way her eyes flickered when she scanned him upside down, or maybe it was the way her dress hugged her body so perfectly like it was made just for her, revealing just the perfect amount of skin but not too much. He knew he shouldn't feel that way, she was dangerous, she was a killer and soon she would have his blood on her hands but if she was so bad, then why was he so down for her?

He tried to hide it but she saw the fear in his eyes. He was terrified and she thought it was adorable. She didn’t lie earlier, she never lied, he did have pretty eyes and if she wasn't careful she might have lost herself in them. She had trouble admitting it to herself but she was intrigued. How could such a pretty boy, coming from one of the richest families on the island get himself in so much trouble? Stealing from her? Especially after she was so gracious and offered him a job to pay his debt? She knew what she had to do, she had to keep up her reputation after all but if she knew what to do then why wasn’t he dead on the floor already? Why was he still standing in front of her? If she knew what to do then why wasn’t he on his knees, pleading for his damn life? If she knew what to do then why was she still standing there, thinking about the taste of his lips on hers?

He got closer to her and bit his lips while his eyes flickered from hers down to her lips. He was close, his lips almost touching hers and his breath so hot against her skin it always felt like he could burn her. She was the one with her finger against the trigger and yet her heart beat so fast, she thought it might explode.

“So what, you gonna shoot me now?” He whispered.

“You know I have to. You stole from me.”

“Hm.” He chuckled softly against her lips. “Then do it, sweetheart, shoot me.”

She closed her eyes, preparing to pull the trigger when she suddenly felt his lips on hers. The kiss was slow and shaky at first, considering he still had a gun to his head but it quickly turned into something hungry and passionate. She leaned into it as she pushed him against the wall behind them. She could feel him smirking against her lips as his hand wandered over her hips until it landed on her ass. She tried to stay focused, careful not to lose control with her gun still pressed onto his head, signaling him one wrong move and it could all be over. But she couldn't keep her focus for long, as his kisses got more intense each second and his hand movements became bolder with each kiss. It was as if he forgot about his situation, or as if he just stopped caring. She was about to forget it herself when he suddenly swung her around, making her drop the gun at the harsh impact against the wall. She wanted to do something about it but got quickly stopped by a clicking sound and the feeling of cold metal against her head.

She swallowed at the sudden change of situation, knowing he was in control now. She silently cursed at herself for not taking his gun away when she stopped him in front of the elevator but maybe some part of her knew what they were doing when she chose to ignore it.

“You dropped something, princess.” He smirked, knowing god damn well he won this round. “I’m in charge now.”

“Looks like it.” She whispered as she bit her lip. “Then tell me, pretty boy, what happens next?”

(Y/N) would lie if she said she didn’t like how the tables have turned. She would lie if she said it didn’t drive her crazy how he tricked her into losing her focus. She would lie when she said it didn’t make her even hornier than before and the pool in her thong proved it.

She could regain control of the situation with ease and he would be stupid if he thought otherwise. (Y/N) knew what she was doing, and she knew to never rely on solely one weapon, she knew better than that.

Coward. She thought to herself after she didn’t get any response. She leaned in and started kissing his neck to take matters into her own hand. She knew what she had to do and his lack of anticipation only made it easier for her. Or so she thought.

“Wanna make you feel good.” She breathed into his ear as she gently dug her teeth into his soft skin. “Please.”

“But what gentleman would I be if I wouldn't make sure you’re satisfied first?” He smiled. “Rafe Cameron always makes sure his girl is satisfied first.”

She swallowed at the realization that he saw right through her. Because Rafe knew better than to trust her. “Now head back against the wall, princess.” He grinned. “And don’t move.”

She did as she was told and leaned back. He leaned in and started placing wet kisses on her neck before traveling back to her lips where his tongue quickly gained control of her mouth. His one finger was still on the trigger, his other hand went down and slowly crawled under the dress where he was met with the sharp end of a pocket knife. He laughed at the pain, knowing he was right.

“Hm, would you look at that?” He grinned as he pulled it out from beneath her dress, blood dripping down his hand. “Look what you did to me, baby.” He didn't expect an answer and he didn’t get one. All he got was a wicked smirk on her lips and a look so evil, he could have sworn his heart stopped for a second. She slowly reached for his hand, never breaking eye contact as she put his fingers into her mouth, careful not to cut herself with the knife still in his hands. She sucked off every single drop of blood before releasing his fingers.

“Took care of it, didn’t I?”

He chuckled at the realization of what just happened before leaning back in. The kiss was hungrier now, as his tongue traced her mouth, making him taste his blood on her tongue. He put the gun back into his pocket, knowing it would be easier if he focused on one weapon at a time.

She could feel the sharp blade tracing over her skin as he cut off her thong with one quick cut. She whined at the pain as the knife cut her skin, causing Rafe to giggle. “What? Did I hurt you, sweetheart?” He asked with a tone of fake concern in his voice.

“Just a tickle.”

“Hmmm.” He mourned against her skin as he let his tongue travel over her skin, cleaning up the blood trail the knife caused. “So sweet.”

She gasped at the burning pain when his saliva met her wound but let her head fall back against the wall, as his tongue swirled through her folds and sweet moans escaped her mouth. This man knew exactly what he was doing as he let the tip of his tongue trace over her clit before slamming it back inside. He still held the knife in his one hand, ready just in case she got any stupid ideas but his other hand was free to support his tongue. She held up her leg and laid it onto his shoulder, giving him not only more space to work his wonders but also giving her control over his movements. Because even if Rafe thought he had all the power, (Y/N) would never give up complete control.

She tried to keep quiet at first, not wanting Rafe to know how much she loved this but he saw how wet she was before and he could feel her walls tighten around his tongue, knowing she was close.

“Don’t try to hide your pretty voice from me darling, let me hear you.” He muffled against her pussy, sending vibrations through her body that only brought her closer to the edge.

“Don’t… don’t stop!” She whimpered between her moans.

And he didn’t stop. He kept going faster and deeper until her screams filled the room and he was pretty sure the lady from above could hear them. He helped her ride out her orgasm and licked it all clean afterward, looking like a little boy who just got his first ice cream.

“Now, on your knees.” He demanded as he let his pants slip down his legs, revealing his cock in front of her. She smirked at the sight, disappointed that her plan didn't work earlier but still hungry for him.

She opened up as she let the tip of his length slide over her tongue, the taste of precum traveling through her mouth. He still had the knife in his hand but her movements ripped him out of reality and forced him to forget his environment, only focusing on the touch of her tongue on his skin. (Y/N) knew exactly what she was doing, her tongue tracing over his cock as if it was programmed to do just this and nothing else.

She looked up at him with innocent eyes but he could see an evil sparkle shining right back at him.

It didn’t take long until he was falling apart inside her but she took it all as he did before. He was so wrapped up in the feeling of euphoria that he hadn’t noticed and before he knew she was standing right in front of him with the knife under his chin. As he slowly came to realize what just happened, he tried to carefully reach into his back pocket but he was met with nothing.

“You looking for this, pretty boy?” She smirked devilishly, as she let the small gun spin through her fingers.

He swallowed, knowing that she had it all and he had indeed nothing. “What now, princess? Gonna kill me now?” He got closer to her, completely ignoring the sharp pain of the knife that started to bury itself into his skin. “Do it. Do it baby but we both know that we’re not quite finished yet.” He whispered against her skin, sending a cold shiver down her spine.

She knew she could end it now, end it and she would win. But then she would never know how he would feel inside of her. She would never know how it feels to have him thrusting against her g-spot or how it would feel to be skin-to-skin with his naked body.

“You’re hesitating.” He stated, with narrowed eyes as if he was about to realize something. He chuckled softly, before slowly taking her wrist and moving it away from his throat. “You can let go, sweetheart, I'm not going to run from you.”

He was right, she was hesitating. She didn't know why, she never hesitated before but there was something about him, that made her question herself. Maybe it were his looks, but she had encountered many pretty men before and none made her feel the way he did. No, it weren't his looks. Then she thought, maybe it was cockiness, even though he was scared, he didn't hold back. Maybe it was that, mixed with the fact, that he challenged her, something no one managed to do before him.

She looked up at him, debating whether she should trust him or not. He gently let his hand slide through her hair as he pulled away loose strands and tugged them behind her ear and for a second, he could’ve sworn there was a softness in her eyes that he had never seen before. “I don’t…” She tried to say but she was too distracted. Too distracted by his hand in her hair and his other on her wrist and too distracted by his scent that blew through her nose, intoxicating all her senses.

“Shhh.” He whispered, with his finger now on her lips. “You don’t have to say anything, darling.” He smiled. “Just relax.”

She looked at him, his eyes full of warmth, something that she hasn’t seen too often before. It felt as if he genuinely liked her as if genuinely cared but then who was she fooling, he probably just wanted to distract her into giving in to him once again. And it worked. The moment his lips touched hers she lost. The kiss was slow, not as hungry and passionate as before, as if he tried to calm her down. As if he could feel how fast her heart beat in her chest, how nervous she became with every second. He gently pushed her back against the table, hoping she’d let go of the weapons in her hands but she held steady. He had her but she was still the one in control and he hated that. His mouth wandered to her neck where he traced his tongue up to her ear, gently nibbling around her earlobe.

“Hop up baby.” He breathed into her, causing her to moan out at the tickling feeling in her ear.

The feeling shot through her whole body as she lost control of any power circling through her hands. She lost the feeling of metal against her skin but she didn’t notice, not even the klirr as the gun met the ground beneath her. All she felt was his hot breath against her skin and his erection against her cunt, and she lost sight of everything around her.

She did as told and hopped up on her desk. Rafe let go of her wrist and held up his arms, so she could pull off his shirt. She laid the knife beside her and pushed the fabric of his shoulders while he pushed his boxers down his legs completely. He then pushed her dress away under her ass until he could pull it off her body. He stopped for a second, completely hypnotized by the beauty of her body. The tattoos that marked her skin, a thin, red dragon that made its way up her rips in the right side of her body, a black rose under her left boob and many other small ones such as a date under her right boob. But the one that caught his attention the most was a snake, just between her tits. Thin, black lines with red details crawled their way up her sternum. It only took over a small part of her body, and yet it looked incredibly majestic.

She watched him as he mustered her body, probably thinking about what each of the pictures on her skin meant. He gently let his hand travel over her skin until his thumbs reached her nipples. He carefully slid over the cold metal of her piercings, causing her to get goosebumps all over her skin.

“You’re beautiful.” He smiled softly. “Now lay down for me princess.”

She swung her leg over the table, accidentally pushing off their glasses from before. She winced at the sound of the glass breaking but quickly calmed down as Rafe hopped on right behind her, now sitting on top of her. His lips not even inches away from hers, he let his finger slide over her skin until he reached her clit. He gently massaged her until he slid inside, making sure she was ready for him.

“Please…” She whimpered, but he pulled out his fingers and placed them in her mouth, making her taste herself.

“Patience darling.” He whispered against her lips, “You want me inside of you but I don’t even know your name.”

He was right, she had only told him her last name. Only very close people to her knew her first name and Rafe Cameron, was so far away from close, and yet he was the one she felt the closest to she had felt in a very long time.

“(Y/N)…” She breathed against his skin, “It’s… It’s (Y/N)”

“How pretty. Now, are you gonna be a good girl for me (Y/N)?” He smiled at her nod and gently pushed himself inside her. She was indeed ready for him as he didn’t even need to use his fingers for help.

They both moaned out in sync at the feeling of him inside her. He took her hand and buried his inside, while his other hand went to her throat. She let out a quiet moan at the pressure against it, and let her hand travel through his hair, pulling him down into her lips.

While she dominated his mouth, he had control of his movements. It was as if they were made for each other, his tip perfectly reaching her spot every time he thrust into her walls hugging him so tight as if they never wanted to let him go again.

“You’re so tight, baby girl…” He breathed out, “So perfect for me.”

She wrapped her legs around his back, losing one of her heels in the process. She pushed him even closer into her, almost screaming at the feeling as he thrust into her even stronger. Her walls tightened around him, he knew she was close but he didn’t want it to end yet, no he wanted this to last forever.

“Rafe…” She whimpered, tears in her eyes as he pushed her closer to her breaking point.

“Hold on baby girl, hold on for me.” He whispered as he leaned in for another kissing session. His one hand united with hers, his other leaving choking marks on her neck while her nails traced red lines over his back, so that everyone knew who he belonged to. Her.

She had never felt this sort of connection before, sure he messed up, he had bad intentions the second he entered her office but she couldn’t help it. He had her wrapped around his finger and they both knew it. Maybe it was his smile, maybe it was the way his scent intoxicated her thoughts or maybe it was just the drugs but at this moment she would’ve done everything for him and (Y/N) was never one to fall for anyone.

“Faster baby.” She whimpered between the kisses, a wish he was only happy to grant.

He sped up his pace causing her to scream out his name. “Music to my ears.” He chuckled. He then went even faster as his orgasm started to build up as well.

“Hm can’t hold it anymore…” She cried out, a tear streaming down her face. “Please…”

"Then come for me, pretty girl." He thrust into her harder and mercilessly as her walls tightened around him and they both let out moans and screams of pleasure as they reached their breaking points.

She had her eyes closed, as she tried to recover from her high, a soft smile on her lips. He took that picture in for a second, her makeup all messed up from her tears. It was a beautiful sight and he wished he would never have to look at something different but he also knew what he had to do.

She was about to open her eyes and say something when she felt cold and sharp metal pressed against her throat. She opened her eyes back up and looked at his, eyes dark but with a hint of sorrow buried inside of them.

“Hm.” She laughed. “Of course.” She tried to stay cool but he saw the tears forming in her eyes.

He was still sitting on her, pressing her body down on and cornering her between himself and the cold table beneath them. There was no way for her to turn this around and they both knew it.

He made her give up her weapons and she trusted him. She let down her guard, something that she had never done with anyone before and now she had to pay the price.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered into her ear as he leaned down. “But we both knew this could only end in two ways.” He paused, leaning back to look into her eyes, gently wiping away the tear rolling out of her beautiful eye. “And… and it seems like I won.”

“Seems like you did.” She whispered before closing her eyes and accepting whatever fate it was that Rafe Cameron had for her.

tag list: @rafesmoon

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earning your stripes - part one: the interview

↳PAIRING: racer!rafe cameron x fem sports reporter!reader

↳SUMMARY: sports reporter, y/n edwards, has the oppurtunity of a lifetime - interviewing nascar driver, rafe cameron. But, it may be a little bit more than she bargained for.

↳ [800] WARNINGS: rafe is a sexy cocky bitch, reader is a queen, sexual innuendos, rafe low key is a bitch, etc.

↳A/N: this is a repost from my old blog @illicitfixations. all of my works are being reposted to this one + the previous blog has been deactivated.

You made your way up the concrete clad driveway, eyes on your feet as your nerves sat at the back of your throat. You had dressed casually, boyfriend jeans and a Ramones t-shirt with white platform sneakers. Your makeup was minimal, but enough to make a good impression. You were nervous for many reasons, one of which being that Rafe Cameron had never done an interview with anyone and what set you apart from any of the other sports reporters who had reached out to him? Absolutely nothing. You pushed the question down as you made it to the top of his driveway and took it in, the open garage door of the mid-sized brick home. It was nice, but not what you’d expect for a multi-million dollar race car driver. 

“Hello?” 

You asked, stepping into the garage where you took in the sight of multiple empty containers of motor oil and dirty rags that sat on a ruby red toolbox much taller than you. Suddenly, you backed up as white converse sneakers peeked out from underneath the red mustang taking up most of the space in the garage. They slid out from underneath the car and into your shins. 

“Ow!” 

You yelped and he chuckled smugly and suddenly, you felt uncomfortable. His sly smirk captured you as you took him in. He laid there, head cocked sideways as his grin spread into a full blown toothy smile. You were captivated by the blue irises that were his eyes, they were possibly the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen and as your eyes moved down again, taking in the blue jumpsuit that was covered in oil and grease, you knew you were in trouble.

“Is this the Cameron house?” 

You asked, politely as you cleared your throat, awkward sexual tension looming in the air. 

When your boss told you to interview Rafe Cameron before his upcoming race, you were ecstatic, elated even. You’d imagined a lot of things about him, you thought maybe he’d be easy to deal with, that the interview might possibly go smoothly, but the one thing you weren’t expecting him to be was this kind of beautiful. His chiseled jaw had made your core warm and he rose from the rolling seat, wiping his hands on the pants of his jumpsuit before moving to greet you with a dirty handshake. 

“Well, it must be my lucky day.” 

He smiled brightly as he spoke. His southern twang was another thing you weren’t expecting, but you pushed that thought down quickly and gave him a soft smile. 

“What do you mean?” 

You questioned. 

“Well, you’re the escort Topper sent over, right? For my birthday?” 

He winked and you swallowed thickly, your face falling at the notion that you looked anything remotely close to a hooker and someone so beautiful thinking it – that made your insides churn. 

“Happy birthday”, you whispered before turning to walk back to the end of the driveway. 

“Oh, come on, darlin,’ I’m just kidding around. What’s your name? What can I do for you?” 

He moved toward you, grabbing your arm and turning you back to face him. 

“My name is y/n. I don’t know why I’m here now. This was a mistake. I should’ve known you weren’t any different, all you driver’s are the same.” 

You muttered, unsure why you had blurted those words out. The power he already had over you was sickening. 

“Sweetheart, I can promise you I’m not like any driver you’ve ever met.” 

He grinned smugly and you grimaced, watching him retreat from you to turn the key inside of the mustang he was previously under. You giggled as his large feet caught up in one another and he caught himself on the edge of the car. You found his clumsiness sexy and endearing and you were sure if you were that tall and lanky, you’d trip over your own feet too. As the engine turned over, you sighed in contentment, that familiar sound reminding you of your dad. 

“I gotta go, but hey, take that front fender off and those twin turbos will look and sound ten times better.” 

You cheekily said, winking in his direction before retreating to your car and driving away. The only thing Rafe could think was how impressed he was and how much he had underestimated you in the brief interaction. He needed to know who the hell you were and how the hell you wound up on his doorstep. 

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The first fall of snow - R.C

Rafe Cameron x female!reader

A/n: bf!rafe

Warnings: none

Word count: 1.2k

December, 

She tapped on his window, her white gloves making the sound a little muffled but the frosted glass still making enough noise to hopefully wake Rafe up. She knocked a little harder until a light flicked on. She scrunched her nose up, feeling the frosty air biting her face for the first time that year. It had finally snowed and her boyfriend was missing it.

When he came to the window he had pillow lines imprinted on his cheeks, and his hair was so messy from sleep that it actually looked a little fluffy for once. She adored when he was half asleep like this, when she slept over and got to see him just like he was now, he just looked so much softer.

Rafe lifted the window, letting the cosy warmth from his heated bedroom hit her for a moment before she went right back to not being able to feel her fingers again. The cold air was practically sneaking in his room but she hoped he wouldn;t mind too much about that.

“What are you doing?” He tilted his head to the side so he could see her better, trying to fight the tried smile that was threatening his lips. He wanted to still have the right to be annoyed at being woken up in the middle of the night without his face betraying him and letting her know that he didn’t mind that much. 

“It's snowing.” She smiled brightly, her lips softly curving up and her eyes shining with a hint of innocence most people had lost by her age. It was that smile that always twisted his arm, that made him do things he wouldn’t have imagined himself ever doing, that made him weak and pathetic but yet unable to stop from smiling himself. 

It also made it impossible for him to be mad at her, to shut the window and go back to bed, to tell her, like he would if it was anyone else, just how annoying this was. It made him turn back and reach for his shoes, which he supposed he should’ve done the second he realised it was her at the window, because he knew exactly what she was going to say next. 

“Come on!” She hurried him, too excited to wait much longer and a little worried that all the snow would disappear by the time Rafe was ready. 

If it had suddenly stopped and melted away in the time it was taking him to put his shoes on she would’ve felt awful for not waking him sooner for not getting here fast enough and for letting him talk her out of the fact that had not forecasted snow and that whatever feeling she had about the chill in the air was wrong. Which of course it wasn’t.

She hadn't thought much about convincing him to come outside with her, she kind of just knew somehow that he'd go along with whatever she was doing anyway. All she had to use against him if he had said no to her perfect snowy night was some doe-eyes and a pretty little pout. 

He warned her not to rush along his very icy steps, every year the front doorstep became some kind of ice rink and every single year she slipped. And of course she wasn’t listening to him saying something about it being frozen over because she very clearly slipped and almost fell. 

She would have slipped if Rafe hadn’t been there to catch her arm and keep her standing up right, like every year before and probably every winter to come, with the most I told you so smirk on his lips possible. 

“You gotta be more careful.” He shook his head at her, still managing to look cute to her even when he was being all condescending because he was right. It was hard to take him seriously or care too much about his ego when his face was flushed red, his cheeks were frost bitten and his nose like one particular shining reindeers. 

She nodded, biting her lip and pretending to agree with him, pulling on his arm with ulterior motives to get him down the steps and into the snow. He let her tug at him until his shoes disappeared under the fresh white layer, they were probably ruined now. 

He scrunched up his nose when he released the bottoms of his pyjamas were getting wet as the snow started to melt against his much warmer skin, making his ankles feel blue. This was why he liked summer, summer didn’t make him shiver while he stood out in the garden, even at night and it didn’t make his socks freezing wet either.

He was going to blame it all on her, to tell her just how cold he was, how he couldn’t feel his hands and how she had dragged him away from his nice warm bed and his nice warm house.

But the snow was on her side. Falling perfectly onto her, catching on her lashes as she tipped her head back a little to look up as it fell from the clouds. Tiny snowflakes sat on her coat and didn't seem to melt away like they should have, and she looked cold but the kind of cold that just didn't seem to bother her because she was too happy to mind. 

Summer was his but Winter belonged to her. And that winter weather that he wouldn't mind missing every year adored his girl, it made her dizzy like a little kid and it made her come running over to him because out of everyone she wanted to share it with him. Maybe it wasn't so cold outside after all. 

“What?” She had noticed how he hadn't moved and that he had just been watching her for a moment. Whenever she caught him staring at her like this she didn't feel like his girlfriend, she felt like a lovesick teenager with a crush on him, finally being noticed. 

“Nothing.” Nothing. She hated when he said that, when he did that, it wasn't fair on her heart and it made it far too hard for her to think straight. He had to have known that.

He shook his head, muttering something to himself before leaning down, his hands turning to ice the second he touched the white snow. Pressing it between his hands he made a snowball and gave her one second to realise what he was doing before he threw it right at her, making her squeal like this wasn't why she had woken him in the first place. 

She wanted to throw the snow right back at him, she really wanted to make sure the snow fell down his shirt like it had hers but there was no chance when Rafe's arms were already around her pulling her into him and taking her wrists into his hand so she had no way of fighting back. 

Every year it snowed he always won their snowball fights because he always played dirty, and she was going to inform him of this like she always did but he spun her around and kissed her, with the kind of kiss that made her cheeks burn even with his cold hands pressed to holding her still, all just to shut her up. Because he already knew exactly what she was going to say. 

imagination part three

part one part two

words: 1.6k

warning: 18+ only! smut, groping, semi public dirty talk??, male receiving handjob, mentions of male receiving oral mentions of losing virginity

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl

“what is it darling?” rafe asks, waving his hand in front of your face to break your trance.

“nothing.” you shake your head, moving closer to rafe so you can lean your head against his shoulder.

“nothing?” rafe questions, placing his hand on your waist. “you're not thinking about my cock right now?”

“rafe, oh my god there are people around!” you whisper shout, eyes darting to the other people sitting near you at the party. they're involved in their own conversations, but that doesn't mean someone isn't eavesdropping on you and rafe.

“aww, you don't want anyone else to know how much of a slut you are for my dick?” rafe says, but at least he lowers his volume this time to not get picked up by anyone else, especially not over the music pumping from the speakers.

“i have sucked you off one time, i wouldn't call that being a slut.” you cross your arms over your chest. truth is, you wish you could be a slut for him, but ever since rafe fucked your face, he has absolutely refused to fuck you, always claiming that he wanted to give you more time to think about losing your virginity.

“and you've thought about doing it again every day, haven't you baby?” rafe presses a kiss to the top of your head. “my little cutie. my little slut.”

“stoooop.” you whine, shifting how you're sitting so your legs are pressed tighter together.

“what? you don't like me talking dirty to you? so you wouldn't like it if i got my cock out right now and shoved your face down on it?” rafe smirks at your reaction, suddenly squirming in your seat.

“im gonna get up and leave.” you threaten, but it's an empty threat and rafe knows it.

“im sorry, baby.” rafe says. “ill stop teasing you. besides, can't have your pretty cunt leaking all over toppers couch.”

--

“is that a new bikini?” rafe asks as you step onto his yacht.

“no, i just haven't worn it in a while.” you shrug. you were feeling the purple vibes lately, so decided to go with a lilac swimsuit for your day on the water with rafe.

“you look so sexy, darling.” rafe says, cupping your breast. you gasp, eyes darting around to the other ships in the marina.

“no one is looking.” rafe says before dropping his head to your neck, pressing kisses onto your skin as he continues to toy with your chest. you tilt your head back in a moan, arching your back slightly.

“can’t wait until i can get my mouth on your cute nipples.” rafe says, giving your nipple a pinch over the fabric of your bikini, making you cry out.

“now, rafey, please.” you beg, trying to move his head towards your chest, but he’s too strong and easily evades you. 

“nope.” he saunters away, leaving you standing on the deck of the yacht as he heads to navigate you out of the marina, imagining him taking you right there.

--

“dance with me?” rafe asks, and you quickly nod, getting bored of just sitting around. it was fun at first watching rafe and topper interact, which was mostly rafe making fun of topper, but then topper got pulled away by kelce.

you accept rafes hand up, leading you towards the makeshift dance floor, a congregation of people that easily move away to give rafe space. he is far too intimidating to crowd around.

you move to the beat, slowly building up your dancing as rafe places his hands on your hips. you giggle at his attention being solely on looking down your dress, at the cleavage spilling out the top.

“like what you see?” you ask.

“you know it, baby. gonna fuck your tits one day, cum all over them.”

you let out a groan, partly from being turned on by his words and partly from knowing he isn’t going to do anything yet. you turn in his hold, pressing your back against rafes chest as a new song comes on, and you don’t hold back, not caring who sees as you grind your bum back against his crotch.

“you trying to make me hard, y/n?” rafe questions, speaking directly into your ear so you can hear as the music gets turned up.

you don’t need to question that it’s working, you can feel him hardening against your ass, but instead of taking you upstairs like you hope, when the song ends, rafe kisses your cheek and tells you he’s going to the bar to get you more drinks.

--

“i’m gonna go take a shower, baby.” you tell rafe, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as you move through the living room.

rafe is quick to get off the couch and follow you up the stairs, “i’ll join you.”

you stop dead in the tracks, halfway across the landing. “really?”

“yeah.” rafe nods. “as long as you control yourself.” 

“you don’t want me to suck you off again?” you ask, batting your eyes as you begin moving again, now wanting to get into the shower as quickly as possible.

“maybe i’ll let you stroke me.” rafe shrugs as you head into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind the two of you. 

your hands begin to move to undress, but rafe stops you with a hand around your wrist. “let me do it for you.” 

you nod, but wish you would have pushed back more when you realize how slow rafe is moving, toying with the hem of your dress before pulling it up inch by inch, slowly revealing more skin. your panties are the first thing on display, and then the smooth expanse of your stomach, and then finally you raise your arms so rafe can expose your bra and pull the dress over your head.

rafes hands work skillfully behind your back at taking off your bra, letting it fall to the floor as his hands move to cup your tits like he did before on the boat, this time with nothing in the way. you let out a moan as his thumbs swipe over your nipples until they are hard peaks. 

rafe smirks, satisfied, and then glides his hands down your sides until he lands on your hips. his slides a finger underneath the band of your underwear, pulling it back and then letting it go, making you wince when it snaps back against your skin.

“hey!” you complain, but rafe ignores you, pulling your underwear down your legs and letting them drop to the floor. his eyes make contact with your core for a second before he looks back up to your eyes.

“go turn the shower on.” he says, pulling his shirt off. “let the water warm up.”

“mkay.” you say, moving to turn the water on. you turn once it’s done, watching rafe as he undresses until you’re both standing there naked. 

“you’re so gorgeous.” rafe moves closer, placing his hand on your waist, his cock already half hard. he bends down and gives you a kiss. you press yourself closer, deepening the kiss as your hands come to rafes neck.

“please, rafey, i want you.” you whimper.

“get in the shower.” rafe backs you up until you step into the shower, underneath the water. you shiver despite the water being warm.

rafe begins his normal shower routine, squirting some shampoo onto his hand before rubbing it into his head. you frown and begin to clean yourself as well, when rafe stops you, massaging the shampoo into your scalp for you.

“that feels so good.” you hum, loving when rafes plays with your hair.

rafe smiles, pressing a kiss to your shoulder before continuing. after you both rinse your heads, he applies your conditioner for you, working it through your curls with his fingers.

“here you go baby.” rafe hands you a soaped up loofah, and you realize that now he’s giving you permission to clean him. you turn and lather his arms before moving over his chest and abs. 

when you get lower, you drop the loofah onto the shower floor and take his cock in your hand, already fully hard just from being around you naked. “now this part of you is very dirty.” you purr, stroking your hand over his length.

“fuck.” rafe curses, pushing his hips forward into your hand. “you little minx.”

“maybe i wouldn’t be so desperate if you just finally fucked me.” you pout, moving your hand faster.

“rinse your fucking hair then.” rafe says, making you pause and look away from his cock to his face. 

“what?”

“rinse the conditioner out of your hair so i can fuck you on the bed. i’m not taking your virginity in the shower.” 

“you’re actually going to?” you ask, a smile coming to your face, excited for the months of teasing to come to an end.

“yes if you stop stroking me before i bust.” rafe groans, causing you to giggle and let go of his cock, not even realizing that you were still stroking it.

you quickly move back under the spray of the shower, rinsing your hair clean. rafe rinses himself quickly too, his cock red and pulsing with need as you hop out of the shower, quickly towling yourself dry.

rafe scoops you up in his arms, not even caring about dripping water all over the floor as he heads into the bedroom, practically throwing you down onto the bed before crawling on top of you.

“remember what i told you that first night?” rafe whispers in your ear. “i am going to destroy your pussy.”

silent treatment

words: 900

warnings: drug dealer rafe, established relationship, arguing but its very fluffy throughout and never actually serious

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @winterrrnight @drudyslut @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl

“rafey, are you almost done?” you ask, causing him to turn his head to look at you for the first time since you both entered the party and parted ways for rafe to do business.

“come here, baby.” rafe beckons you closer, so you cross the line of people waiting and take a seat on the couch next to rafe. “what's wrong?”

“nothing's wrong, i just miss you.” you pout, lacing your fingers through rafes. “i know you're selling right now but i thought we would be able to hang out tonight.”

rafe looks at the line of people waiting, then down at his stash. “im almost sold out, yeah? think you can wait ten more minutes?”

“can i sit here?” you ask, and when rafe nods you curl up against his side. he has to shake your hand loose as the next person walks up, buying some drugs that rafe would never in his life let you touch, but had no problem selling to other people.

you busy yourself with playing with a loose strand on rafes shorts as the packets in front of him dwindle down to only one small baggie of white powder left. rafe pockets it, shooing the rest of the people waiting away, telling them to come find him at the next party.

just when rafe finishes counting the money and you expect to get up and actually enjoy the party with your boyfriend, barry takes a seat on the armchair across from you.

“how was tonight?” he asks.

“sold it all, kept a baggie for myself.” rafe splits the money and hands most of it to barry for getting him the supply, pocketing the rest for himself.

“im getting a new shipment in tuesday-” you stop listening as they start to talk business again, linking your hand with rafes and rubbing your thumb over the back of his hand. you begin to stroke his arm with your other hand, craving any sort of attention from him.

“baby, stop, you're distracting me.” rafe says, pulling his hand out of your grip.

“sorry.” you whisper, looking between barry and rafe, wondering how much longer they're going to take.

“can i sit on your lap?” you ask, knowing rafe doesn't care about others seeing your pda so he shouldn't mind, he's let you sit on his lap in the past, he's even pulled you onto it himself.

rafe sighs, rubbing his forehead before sitting back, pulling you onto his knee so you're purched on the edge.

you groan, knowing that this isn't what you asked for as you turn to frown at rafe.

“baby, why are you being so clingy tonight?” rafe asks, pulling you by your waist into him so your side is pressed against his chest.

“im not.” you pout, crossing your arms over your chest.

“yeah, you definitely are. won't even let me talk to barry for ten minutes without getting all whiney.” rafe says, a small smile on his face, but it doesn't placate you, it just annoys you.

you stand up, moving away from rafe and leaving him to do whatever the fuck he wants with barry.

--

“baby, you didn't talk to me all night, please don't give me the silent treatment again today too.” rafe says, attempting to press a kiss to your shoulder, but you just move away to continue making pancakes. rafe keeps his eyes on you as you move about the kitchen.

you plate your pancakes, leaving the rest for rafe to get himself if he wants them and walk into the dining room. you're glad for the music you put on to drown out the silence at rafe sits across the table with his own plate.

you eat without looking up at him, somehow able to keep yourself quiet.

“so you're giving me the silent treatment but still made enough pancakes for me?” rafe asks.

you simply shrug, getting up to finish your pancakes in the kitchen.

“here, let me do the dishes.” rafe comes barging into the kitchen, interrupting you from beginning to clean. you simply shrug and walk away, not even giving him a thank you. you listen to him start to clean up, snickering silently at his grumblings to himself before heading upstairs to get changed.

“what are your plans for today?” rafe asks when you reemerge downstairs, wearing a simple outfit of leggings and a t-shirt. you give rafe a pointed look, one to reinforce the fact that you are not speaking to him before walking away.

rafe leaves you alone for a few hours when he is in the home gym working out. you peak through the glass doors a few times to admire his sweat sheened muscles, but don't let him catch you and go back to scrolling on your phone on the couch when he starts to clean up.

“im gonna go shower.” rafe calls as he passes through the living room. “care to join me?”

“no.” you call back.

you hear rafe stop in his tracks, halting and turning back to face you. “you just talked to me.”

“that doesn't cou-AHHH!” you shout as rafe jumps over the couch, dropping his body over yours as he presses kisses to your face, your phone long forgotten as it falls to the floor.

“im still mad at you, fuck off.” you say, but giggle the entire time, unable to resist his kisses.

“baby, you can tell me to fuck off or that you're mad all you want, just never ever give me the silent treatment again, i was going crazy.” rafe presses your lips together in a kiss and you give in, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“it sounds like you're the clingy one now.” you grin at him.

“absolutely.” rafe nods in agreement.