Selfshiptober, Day One !

selfshiptober, day one !

confession | night

holy shit ive never posted stuff like this before so im a little embarrassed and nervous...

but anyways, im cringe and free!!

so enjoy this little piece of literature between me and my favorite fishie :3c

(note, english isnt my first language and ive might have written a couple spelling mistakes but yeah...)

i remember the day i confessed how much i love you.

how much you make me smile.

how much you make me giggle.

how much you make me happy.

it was very surprising for you, you were flushed and so shy about it... it was cute.

i still remember the entire confession... and it went like this...

it was an ordinary day, in the hadal blacksite obviously.

no expendables passing by... asides from sudden noises and such, but it was the usual.

i would be sitting on the floor, writing something on a piece of paper, he couldn't see what i was writing.

i was smiling and giggling a bit, he could obviously see i was happy about something.

meanwhile, sebastian would be in his corner, not doing much than just simply admiring me.

"hmmm? whatcha giggling for?" sebastian asked.

i looked at him and got up, walking towards him with the piece of paper.

i would hand it over to him, not saying a word.

"can you read it out loud for me?" i asked.

he chuckled and smiled.

"of course, a little reading doesn't hurt me after all." he answered, accepting my request.

he sarcastically coughed a couple times and started reading the first sentence on the paper.

"my dear sebastian, i wanted to write you this to confess how much i..." and before he could finish reading the sentence out loud, he suddenly stopped.

he looked at me and the paper, completely shocked.

his cheeks were turning red and looked extremely flushed.

meanwhile, i looked down at the floor.

i was shy and nervous, it was a sudden move from me but i didn't want to keep my feelings hidden for much longer.

there was silence for a couple of minutes and suddenly, he would speak up.

"you... you like me?" he asked, breaking the silence.

i looked up and slowly nodded my head.

"more than just that, i love you." i answered.

suddenly, he grabbed me by my waist, placing me close to him.

he smiled and said one single sentence.

"i love you more, my sunshine."

and he pressed his lips against mines.

and there was it, a kiss. ♡

i literally just opened youtube dude... 😭

gift from the heart

selfshiptober, day three !

embrace | blood

this is gonna be pretty short but...

this is gonna be

sort of personal(?) in a way... yeah.

tw for mentions of house fire, death and murder

and also, little warning ahead for a bit of angst (with comfort as well)

...

i still remember being so alone.

so lost.

so broken.

my parents already broke my porcelain heart after sebastian placed it all back together.

i was treated like a joke by my mom, treated like a mistake by my dad.

they made me feel like i was worth... nothing.

and he treated me like i was everything in his entire universe.

it felt... oddly comforting, getting love and affection after being separated for years.

it was... amazing seeing sebastian again, yes.

but yet, i wonder what would had happened if... i never killed them.

if i never killed my parents.

if i never burned down the house i grew up on.

i wouldn't be here.

i wouldn't be here with sebastian...

i wouldn't...

...

"hey, are you doing alright?" sebastian asked.

i was sitting on the floor, laying my back on his tail.

i wasn't feeling well, i was on one of those days that i felt shitty and completely lost.

i wouldn't say anything, staying completely silent.

sebastian was obviously worried and wanted me to say something, he never liked getting the silence treatment from me.

he loudly sighed.

"leaf... please talk to me." he said, soundly more worried than he already was.

and suddenly, i would burst out crying.

he immediately picked me up and held me close to him.

"hey hey... you can cry, it's okay..." he said, reassuring me.

"theyre still there, theyre still in the back of my mind." i spoke, i was referring to my dead parents.

he ran his fingers thru my hair and kissed my forehead, still reassuring me.

"its okay sunshine, you wont have to deal with them anymore...."

"i promise, you're here with me now."

"you're safe with me, leaf."

"and ill make sure that you always be, my love." ♡

im going on hiatus for a while, i dont know when ill come back but i need a break, a break from everything.

ill miss posting here but my mental and physical health is more important.

im so sorry for this but i really dont wanna be here anymore.

i love you every single one of you and please, take care. 🫂❤️

hi! i decided to come back from my hiatus now, it only ended up being a tiny break to get my mind off stuff, ive been doing better and im ready to be back on posting!

i have a lot of stuff to post, including the writing for selfshipping october thingy that im excited to post :3