⠀₊⠀꒰ ᘓ⠀dreamin' and daydreamin' every day !!
96 posts
Leafpawz - Leaf's Little Place - Tumblr Blog
i just remembered i forgot to do yesterday's selfshipoctober...
FUUUUUUUUCK 😭
This is myy hot maaan fishh
selfshiptober, day three !
embrace | blood
this is gonna be pretty short but...
this is gonna be
sort of personal(?) in a way... yeah.
tw for mentions of house fire, death and murder
and also, little warning ahead for a bit of angst (with comfort as well)
...
i still remember being so alone.
so lost.
so broken.
my parents already broke my porcelain heart after sebastian placed it all back together.
i was treated like a joke by my mom, treated like a mistake by my dad.
they made me feel like i was worth... nothing.
and he treated me like i was everything in his entire universe.
it felt... oddly comforting, getting love and affection after being separated for years.
it was... amazing seeing sebastian again, yes.
but yet, i wonder what would had happened if... i never killed them.
if i never killed my parents.
if i never burned down the house i grew up on.
i wouldn't be here.
i wouldn't be here with sebastian...
i wouldn't...
...
"hey, are you doing alright?" sebastian asked.
i was sitting on the floor, laying my back on his tail.
i wasn't feeling well, i was on one of those days that i felt shitty and completely lost.
i wouldn't say anything, staying completely silent.
sebastian was obviously worried and wanted me to say something, he never liked getting the silence treatment from me.
he loudly sighed.
"leaf... please talk to me." he said, soundly more worried than he already was.
and suddenly, i would burst out crying.
he immediately picked me up and held me close to him.
"hey hey... you can cry, it's okay..." he said, reassuring me.
"theyre still there, theyre still in the back of my mind." i spoke, i was referring to my dead parents.
he ran his fingers thru my hair and kissed my forehead, still reassuring me.
"its okay sunshine, you wont have to deal with them anymore...."
"i promise, you're here with me now."
"you're safe with me, leaf."
"and ill make sure that you always be, my love." ♡
uuuuhhh i forgor to write for today
...
well
...oopsies. 😭
i had been wanting to open an etsy shop.. i wanna sell kandi bracelets and other stuff ..
if any of yall have a shop there, can i get some advice? ^^;;
mimimimi.........
selfshipoctober, day two
blanket | flame
rlly enjoyed making this one ..
and also its human sebastian this time, hehe
a little thing before you read, this will contain a little bit of fluff, thats all :3c
ANDDDD HOPEFULLY THIS WONT HAVE ANY SPELLING MISTAKES TOO :sob:
it was raining outside.
...
ahem...
wait... you don't know?
ah, this is the past.
before me and sebastian were separated.
and why am i talking about the past?
because our memories... are special to me.
i mean, you do know that we are back together, reunited after so long...
...
we miss our human selves.
because... we're no longer humans, obviously.
alright alright... ill stop with this veeeeery long and confusing introduction.
and ill just start to talk. :)
...
it was a cold and rainy night.
i was staying at sebastian's house for the first time ever, he said it was a sleepover.
expect he only invited me, i thought he was inviting his collage friends or something...
i didn't mind it, he knew how socially awkward i was...
...
knock knock
a door opened, it was me.
"glad to see you." sebastian said.
i waved at him and quickly got inside.
"jesus... is it THAT cold outside?" he reacted to my sudden move.
i slowly nodded my head as a response.
he sighed and held my hand, as he took me on a little tour around his apartment.
it was a tiny but yet cozy place, no wonder why he loves this place so much, hehe.
and as we walked to his room, he just sat down on his bed.
"sooo... whatcha think?" he asked, looking at me with a smile.
my cheeks turned to a bright pink as he looked directly to my face.
"um.... yeah! it's nice." i answered as i smiled back.
he chuckled at my response.
we both admired eachother for a couple minutes as we both stayed silent, it felt... a little awkward but yet, cute.
and suddenly, he would break the silence, asking me a question.
"you wanna... watch a movie with me?" he asked.
i immediately nodded as he said that.
he laughed and got up, holding my hand again as we walked towards his living room.
afterwards, we would start making popcorn and very weird snacks, basically grabbing whatever he had on his fridge, wowies.
as i held our snacks to his coffee table infront of the tv, he would get a bunch of blankets, pillows, plushies... a looooot of things.
i looked suprised, he looked so happy to spend time with me.
ehe... how silly.
as i took my shoes off and sat down on the couch, he placed a couple blankets above me.
and sat down next to me.
"so... what type of movies do you watch?" i asked.
"mmm... anything really." he answered.
he grabbed the tv remote and started going around to find a interesting movie to watch.
meanwhile, i would place my head on his shoulder and yawned a couple times.
its been like... ten minutes and he hasnt found a movie and yet, i was already so tired.
he looked at me and smiled.
"already tired, hmmm?" he whispered.
i nodded my head, not saying much.
"well... if that's so..."
he gently lifted me up and placed me in his arms gently.
his back was against the couch, getting a comfortable position for himself.
i was surprised and my cheeks turned red, i didn't knew how to respond that well.
he saw my expression and he immediately looked nervous.
"ah shit, am i doing too much? im so sorry, i ca-" and before he could finish the sentence, i interrupted him.
"can we stay like this for a while..." i silently said.
i wrapped my arms around him, hugging him as i placed my head against his chest.
his face was red as a tomato, he completely froze.
there was silence for a couple seconds before he suddenly spoke.
"of... of course." he answered.
he looked down and saw how calm and relaxed i was in his arms.
and as the night drove on, we cuddled together on that tiny couch.
until we both fell asleep.
so cute, so silly even.
it was just me and him.
just... me and him, wrapped around those blankets.
that day still plays on my head sometimes, it's so dumb but yet, special to me.
i hope he still remembers how much that day means to me. ♡
im in a very happy and silly mood today so expect to see some wholesome writing tonight!! cant wait to write more for selfshipoctober today :3
gift from the heart
wanted to share this andddd
i bought the sebastian plushie last week and im still so happy about it
unfortunately, i have to wait until january but i dont mind waiting lol
and i had to pay 10 bucks for the shipping. :sob:
selfshiptober, day one !
confession | night
holy shit ive never posted stuff like this before so im a little embarrassed and nervous...
but anyways, im cringe and free!!
so enjoy this little piece of literature between me and my favorite fishie :3c
(note, english isnt my first language and ive might have written a couple spelling mistakes but yeah...)
i remember the day i confessed how much i love you.
how much you make me smile.
how much you make me giggle.
how much you make me happy.
it was very surprising for you, you were flushed and so shy about it... it was cute.
i still remember the entire confession... and it went like this...
it was an ordinary day, in the hadal blacksite obviously.
no expendables passing by... asides from sudden noises and such, but it was the usual.
i would be sitting on the floor, writing something on a piece of paper, he couldn't see what i was writing.
i was smiling and giggling a bit, he could obviously see i was happy about something.
meanwhile, sebastian would be in his corner, not doing much than just simply admiring me.
"hmmm? whatcha giggling for?" sebastian asked.
i looked at him and got up, walking towards him with the piece of paper.
i would hand it over to him, not saying a word.
"can you read it out loud for me?" i asked.
he chuckled and smiled.
"of course, a little reading doesn't hurt me after all." he answered, accepting my request.
he sarcastically coughed a couple times and started reading the first sentence on the paper.
"my dear sebastian, i wanted to write you this to confess how much i..." and before he could finish reading the sentence out loud, he suddenly stopped.
he looked at me and the paper, completely shocked.
his cheeks were turning red and looked extremely flushed.
meanwhile, i looked down at the floor.
i was shy and nervous, it was a sudden move from me but i didn't want to keep my feelings hidden for much longer.
there was silence for a couple of minutes and suddenly, he would speak up.
"you... you like me?" he asked, breaking the silence.
i looked up and slowly nodded my head.
"more than just that, i love you." i answered.
suddenly, he grabbed me by my waist, placing me close to him.
he smiled and said one single sentence.
"i love you more, my sunshine."
and he pressed his lips against mines.
and there was it, a kiss. ♡
i NEED to write for today's selfshipoctober...
uuuuuhhhhh ill write something i swear
hi! i decided to come back from my hiatus now, it only ended up being a tiny break to get my mind off stuff, ive been doing better and im ready to be back on posting!
i have a lot of stuff to post, including the writing for selfshipping october thingy that im excited to post :3
im going on hiatus for a while, i dont know when ill come back but i need a break, a break from everything.
ill miss posting here but my mental and physical health is more important.
im so sorry for this but i really dont wanna be here anymore.
i love you every single one of you and please, take care. 🫂❤️
drawing sebastian at school is like therapy 2 me
and a way to distract myself from reality /hj
i wish i could give up
i dont want to live anymore
im so tired of everything
i cant handle anything without breaking into tears
im sorry malachi
im sorry for being weak
im so fucking sorry.
i miss when we would record videos with our friend group
i miss when we played roblox all together
i miss when we would call for hours with them and laugh at the dumbest shit ever
i miss when you were still alive
step misses you
banish misses you
and i fucking miss you so much donut.
we love you so fucking much.
life has been absolutely horrible for the past months but when i came across this video yesterday, i teared up a little.
it gave me hope that everything will be okay, no matter what happens...
tw su***de, death
one of my close friends might be dead after their possible attempt
me and my friends havent heard anything from him for almost two days
he might be dead
i dont know how to feel than just cry my eyes out
im so sorry donut
i wish me, bannish and step spent more time with you
i love you so much and im so fucking sorry...
dont ask why i did this (art credit in alt text)
