Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit

holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit

i'm halfway through the last ep of season one and i think ik what askeladd is about to do. he's going to kill the king so that canute becomes king. that way he doesn't have to choose between canute and wales right? i'm right aren't i.

had to pause the show and run over here bc my roomate just poked her head in to see what i was screaming and hitting my head against the wall about.

just finished ep. 1 of vinland saga and i already know it's gonna break me. i just know it.

I hope I live long enough to see the children of Palestine, Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria wake up to the sound of birds not bombs

End of 2023 JJK Collab (CLOSED)

Welcome to this collab event with @ponderingmoonlight!

Our friend @sitarawrites has an irl emergency so she won't be able to join us, but everyone send her lots of good thoughts and love and support!

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Information about this event:

-Each of the writers participating in this event will select two characters

-Each writer will have three available slots for each character, meaning each person will write a total of six 300-800 word drabbles

-The three available slots for each character are a date, a gift, and something you want to say to them

-We will select the asks we use on a first come first serve/whichever one speaks to us the most basis, so make sure to send them in soon!

-I will be taking the Megumi, Nanami and Inumaki asks

-@ponderingmoonlight will be taking the Choso, Gojo and Yuji asks

Instructions

-Pick your character! Your choices are Megumi, or Inumaki

-Tell the person who is writing for your character what date you want to take them on, what gift you want to give them, or something you want to tell them

-That's it! It's that easy

Examples:

To @lees-chaotic-brain: I want to take Megumi on a picnic date somewhere that has a lot of meaning for us

To @ponderingmoonlight: I want to tell Yuji that he did well and I'm proud of him

Availability

Megumi:

Take Megumi on a date (Available)

Give Megumi a gift (taken)

Tell Megumi something important (taken)

Inumaki:

Take Inumkai on a date (taken)

Give Inumaki a gift (taken)

Tell Inumaki something important (taken)

Nanami:

Take Nanami on a date (Available)

Give Nanami a gift (Available)

Tell Nanami something important (Available)

hi lee! i don't have a request yet, but just wanted to say hi and let you know that i think the aesthetic of your blog is soooo prettyy and i'm excited to be moots !!! feel free to drop by my inbox anytime !!

HI OMG!!! Thank you so much! I love your writing, and your blog is gorgeous!!!

I want to tell Inumaki that he is Perfect. He is so expressive and loving even if he can't communicate...I feel like he would be sad for not being enough BUT LIKE HE IS THE NICEST IN WHOLE WORLD 😭😭😭😭 cryin rn

I was feeling really down, but writing this made me feel better, so thank you anon for sending this lovely little idea in.

CW: Shibuya spoilers, mentions of past injury, loss of limb, hurt/comfort, implied depression, insecurity, scars, non-sexual nudity

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“Hey baby, I’m back.”

You called out to your boyfriend as you stepped into your shared apartment. There was no response, but his shoes were in the doorway and his coat was hanging on his hook. Padding into the living space you still couldn’t find him.

“Hey, babe? Toge?”

Concerned you call out again. You knew things were rough for him right now with the five year anniversary of the loss of his arm coming up next week, but you hoped it wasn’t bad enough for him to run off.

The thought caused panic to bubble in you, your chest constricting as you hurriedly went to check the bedroom. The room was a mess, pictures and random scraps of paper strewn about. Picking up a few near the entrance, you realized that they were artifacts of your high school days. Pictures of you and Toge on dates, hanging out with the other second years, and sweet notes he wrote for you made up the mess scattered across the plush carpet.

Then your heart sank. As you surveyed the whirlwind of memories, you realized that they all had something in common. They were all from before the Shibuya Incident. Before he lost his arm.

Following the sound of running water, you pick your way across the room and push open the bathroom door. A blast of steam hits you in the face as you flip the lights and fan on. There he was.

He was sitting in the shower still wearing a pair of gray sweatpants, unresponsive as the near scalding water cascaded down on him. Without a second thought you peel off your shirt and socks before climbing into the shower with him. Crouching before him, you gently brush his sopping bangs out of his eyes.

“Hey babe. Found you.”

You smile softly at him, cupping his face with your right hand. He doesn’t respond, but he leans slightly into your touch.

“Can I hold you?”

You keep your voice gentle and quiet, your heart breaking for him. A slight, barely perceptible nod was the only sign that he even heard you. Maneuvering so you were sitting beside him, you wrap one arm around his back and lean against him. After a moment, he tilts his head so it’s resting on yours.

Sitting in silence, you give him the space and time he needs. After a long stretch of time, he pulls away and turns so you are facing him. You place your hand on his knee and squeeze it, silently telling him that you’re there for him, and he can take all the time he needs.

Clumsily, he begins signing with his remaining hand.

Why are you still with me?

Of all the things he could have asked or said, this was not one of the things you would have anticipated. You take a moment to think. Then you reply simply and bluntly, wanting to make sure that he understood what you were saying.

“Because you’re you. And I love you.”

He looks frustrated and his signing becomes jerkier as he speeds up.

But look at me!

He makes a vague gesture towards his entire body.

“I am. And all I see is the man I love.”

You have an idea where this is coming from, but you want to wait until he says it because the idea that he would think so lowly of himself physically pained you.

But I’m useless! His shoulders slump and he repeats the hand motion. Useless. 

“You’re not useless.”

You say firmly. 

“Not even in the slightest.”

I am though. 

The haunted look of self-loathing looked unnatural on his gorgeous face. 

I’m practically useless as a jujutsu sorcerer. I already have this technique that hurts me more than it helps others. Now I can’t even make up for my weakness with my physical ability because I lost my arm. 

Tears join the shower water dripping down his face.

And not only am I a worthless jujutsu sorcerer, I’m a pathetic boyfriend. I can’t hold you, the person I love more than anything else in this world, in my arms. I’m not strong enough to protect you. Hell I can’t even tell you I love you with my words! 

He averts his gaze to the water going down the drain.

And on top of all that, I’m selfish. I know I’m worthless. I know I’m not good enough for you, but I need you. I’m not a good enough person to let you go.

Finally done, his hand dropped to his side with a small splash.

“Hey.”

Your voice is loving, but insistent as you speak.

“Look at me.”

He complies, his lovely violet eyes dark and hopeless.

“You told me to look at you earlier. And I am. Do you know what I see?”

A pathetic man who-

You continue talking, ignoring him.

“I see the man I fell in love with in high school. He’s grown up and changed, but at heart he’s the same person.”

You caress his cheek, looking deep into his eyes.

“His face has sharpened and become more handsome.”

He shuddered against your palm as you brush your thumb along his cheekbone and jawline.

“His eyes show that he’s seen and experienced indescribable horrors. He’s lost that innocence. But I love him all the more for it. Because I’ve changed too. I’ve lost my innocent belief that we are untouchable. I’ve become harsher, more pessimistic, and less emotional. But you know what’s in my heart?”

You take his hand and place it on your chest. Quietly he watches you, and you can see that your words are starting to penetrate the self-hatred clouding his mind.

“In here lives the silly teenage girl who thought that she and all her loved ones were untouchable, invincible. The girl who cared too much about anything and anyone. The girl who spent hours daydreaming about going on romantic dates with her white haired classmate that always had a mischievous spark in his eyes. The girl who kept a meticulous journal of her dream wedding to a boy with purple eyes and beautiful markings around his mouth.”

The corners of Inumaki’s mouth lifted a miniscule amount and his eyes softened as he remembered. Encouraged, you reach behind you and turn the water off. Continuing to speak, you begin removing his soaked sweatpants.

“As for your inability to tell me that you love me with your words, that has never bothered me.”

Placing the sweatpants beside you to deal with later, you gently tug on his arm until he stands and steps out of the shower.

“Honestly, I like it better that way.”

He shoots you a disbelieving look at your words, but allows you to dry him off before helping him into a fresh pair of boxers and sweatpants.

“Really, I do. It’s so easy to say the words ‘I love you’ and not mean them at all. It’s a lot harder to fake it or lie if you have to express them through your actions. The way you worked so hard everyday to make sure I knew how you felt made me feel even more secure and loved than a few shallow words could.”

You quickly dry yourself off and change into a fresh pair of panties and a new shirt. Leading out of the bathroom and into your bedroom, you sit in the middle of your bed and lay a towel across your lap before patting it. Obediently he laid down and put his head on your lap. You began drying his hair.

“You’re special, Toge. You express yourself through physical touch and acts of service, and have never verbally said the words ‘I love you’ to me, but let me tell you. Not once, in the five and a half years we’ve been dating, have I doubted for even a second that you loved me. Do you understand? I don’t need you to be able to say the words to me. I already know.”

After you finished drying his hair, he sat up and faced you.

But what about my arm? Do you really want to be with me still? I’m disfigured and disabled.

The look in your eyes is so tender he can barely stand it. Why? Why do you look at him with such love and affection? 

“Toge.”

You breathe, the look on your face telling him that you knew exactly what was running through his mind.

“I didn’t fall in love with you because of these.”

You squeeze his bicep.

“I fell in love with you because of this.”

You tap his temple.

“And because of this.”

You lay your palm flat against his chest. Looking up at him, he can see the sincerity shining in your eyes.

“I love you for you, Toge. You could be the ugliest, most ratchet mf to ever roam the face of the planet and I would still love you. Because you will always be my person. And I hope that I’ll always be yours.”

He nods, smiling at your word choice as tears well in his eyes, relief hitting him like a freight train as you managed to say exactly what he needed to hear. Tugging your arm, you help him pull you into his lap. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he buries his face in your neck as you drape your arms around his neck and card through his hair.

He presses repeated kisses against the crook of your neck, each one a silent apology for doubting the love you shared.

You rested your cheek against his soft white hair and took comfort in the intimacy of the moment. Kissing the side of his head, you whisper the words you so desperately want him to engrain into his soul and never forget.

“You, Inumaki Toge, are perfect. Just the way you are.”

I'm actually tearing up. Carina, you were actually my first ever moot too! I followed you because I loved your writing, and your ability to write for so many characters your same, unique way!! When you first followed me back, I literally lost my mind because a writer I admired so much was now my first moot! But as I got to know you better, I came to respect and admire you for the kind, caring, strong, and generous person you are. Thank you for being my first moot, and supporting me this year. Here's to another!! Happy New Year!

Thank you to everyone who supported my blog in 2023 🤍

I can't put into words how much I love every single one of you for your support. No matter if you like one fic of mine or my whole blog, no matter if you write me anon or leave a comment. Let me tell you that I appreciate every minor interaction with the stuff I create over here 🤍

When I started this blog in September (I think lol) I was so scared of sharing my thoughts. But you were supportive right from the start, encouraging me to follow my ideas even in times I didn't feel like it. You might not even know how much you helped me through dark times, how much your constant support lifted me up and helped me getting over the shit that happened 2023 (like Shibuya damn). You have become such an important variable in my life that this blog is literally like a baby to me 😭

Thank you for sticking with me through 2023. I hope you'll stay in the new year as well 🤍

Also, I'd like to take this moment to pay a special thanks to my lovely moots:

@belovedvamp I know we basically just started talking, but you seem like such a fun person and I totally relate to your Yuta affection lol. Thank you for supporting my works through your constant likes, comments, reblogs and requests. I hope we'll stay in touch this new year 🤍

@risuola you are such a sweetheart. Not only is your writing chef's kiss and you were one of my first ever obsessions here on Tumblr (you are still lol), but you make me laugh and cry like no other. You literally seem like such a fun person and put a smile of my face the second you post. Please keep up being so damn cool and please NEVER stop writing those amazing fanfics 🤍

@kawaiiakamaru we aren't moots for that long but you are supporting me for so long. Just seeing a comment or a blog entry from you makes me happy, as well as your cute profile pic (please never change it hehe). Your first ever fic was absolutely amazing, please keep up the good work and make sure to tag me in your new fics of this year 🤍

@sorrowfulrosebud it's funny how we met through that dang annoying anon who still keeps bugging you lol. In some kind of way, I'm actually thankful for them. Not because of the nonsense they are getting on your nerves with, but because I got to get in touch with your wonderful blog. You are funny, you seem passionate and are so talented like it's absolutely insane! I hope you finally get to live in peace on your blog and continue blessing my timeline 🤍

@ynackerman9499 first of all let me tell you how absolutely sorry I am for not publishing any of your requests recently. They're all so good I literally don't know where to start 😭 you are such a sweet person, our little talk made me giggle the entire time and I love that we basically have the same taste in anime and anime men hehe. Thank you for supporting my blog and especially looking out for me the whole time, I hope we'll talk again soon 🤍

@sitarawrites you actually were one of my first moots over here and our conversations were priceless. I was so happy when you finally decided to share your great works with us! You are truly such a talented writer who makes us feel the emotions of our favorite jjk characters like none other. Also, I love that you are a badass bitch who takes no shit from others. You are actually my example when it comes to badass characters 😭 I wish you all the best and hope that you get the love, appreciation and clamness you deserve in 2024 🤍

@sunshine7queen you are my no 1 supporter since day one and I love you from the bottom of my heart for it 😭 Everytime I open up my tumblr and see that you left a comment under my works (like you literally always do), I get excited immediately, like why is it so fun to chat with you. Also, you share the greatest treasures when it comes to cool artwork or other fics: you're my greatest source for great content over here! Let me thank you for every comment, every like and every reblog and how you always make me feel good about myself. You are a true sweetheart, stay the way you are and have the lovliest new year 🤍

@wifenanami your obsession for Nanami is just as great as mine and I love you for it. But not only that, you are my number one when it comes to Nanami requests and therefore fics on this blog. Literally half of my Nanami fics exist because of your great request that make me laugh and warm my heart while shattering it and making me cry. Also, your artwork is way too good for this world. Sometimes I go through my requests just to see your pics 😭 Thank you for making my 2023 better with your comments, your aesthetic blog and your request. I hope you're sticking with me through 2024 as well 🤍

@selen1um-hexafluoride you are such a funny person, your blog entries made my day so often that I lost count. Let me tell you that your unnecessary opinions definetely matter to me and that I enjoy every single one of them. You write your hcs like a pro, I literally can't wait to see more of you. Please don't stop writing and make sure to tag me in your works (when you find out how hehe) 🤍

@sanicsmut girl, you're the love of my life. Seriously, since that day you decided to comment under my first ever Choso works you've been by my side and supported my works even though they didn't have your favorites (=Choso and Hiromi lol) in them. Even though we don't chat that often, I love your lil comments under my shitpostings as well as I love to see what's going on over there on your blog. You seem like such a funny talented person it's seriously unfair 😭 Also, see this as a petition for you to post more artwork of yours because it's GORGEOUS! Love ya, thank you for all the support and let me see you again this year 🤍

@lees-chaotic-brain oh Petra, you are such a sweet, passionately and badass chick it makes me all emotional. You were my first moot over there and stuck with me ever since. Even though we didn't talk much these last weeks because we're both pretty stressed, I still adore you and our conversations with all my heart. You are such a strong person, going through all this hate of last year with confidence, not letting anyone getting you down that you have been a true example for me. Despite all the things you've been through, despite all the shit you have to endure, you're still so fucking strong and I truly admire you for it! Also, you are one of my all time favorite writers here on Tumblr - no one does it like you! Let me take this opportunity to thank you. Thank you for being my first ever moot, thank you for listening when nobody else did, thank you for the amazing content you gift us with. I'm so glad I met you and I am beyond glad that you are the person that you are. Let nobody ever take your spark away from you (and I publicy promise to finally get your request done) 🤍

@lizziespoem we didn't hear much from each other the last few weeks, but let me tell you how proud I am that you're looking out for yourself and that you put yourself first. Even though I miss your gorgeous fanfics and to just talk to you, I hope with all my heart that you are doing well my german tumblr bestie (melde dich gerne mal wenn du Zeit und Lust hast) 🤍

@hitori979 you're truly making me emotional. You have to be one of the few people who supported me from day one. Your endless comments, you defending me, you liking my whole stuff. Like...I can't even put into words how much you mean to me. I know how busy you are and that you rarely find the time to scroll through Tumblr and get in touch with my works, but you always make sure that I feel appreciated. Even though you don't even know me (and how I just realized I don't even know your name) you check on me from time to time and cheer me up when I feel down. I love our little conversations about jjk manga, I love your opinion on basically EVERYTHING and I love how geniuely funny you are. Let me tell you that your support means the world to me and that I get excited just when reading your blog name. Let me tell you that your ideas inspire me and are actually the source of like half of my best works! You seem like such a smart and empathic person. I really hope the new year brings you less work stress and all the things you ever wish for. You deserve the world, love. And I will be forever thankful for you finding my blog and deciding to support me through everything 🤍

@lavenderdrxp thank you thank you thank you for your likes, reblogs and comments. I loved our lil chitchat and actually enjoyed chatting with you so much that I hope we'll be able to do it anytime soon again 😭 Also, let me promise you that I'll publish your request this year hehe. Have the happiest new year with new episodes of our favorite anime coming soon 🤍

Okay, now I'm crying a lil on my own. Just...thank y'all. Have the nicest 2024 ever 😭