
Hi. I write some stuff sometimes that’s very biased towards the ships I like. Come party if you want. I also like Ken Sakoda a lot.
194 posts
A3! Summer Troupe Gift Exchange.
A3! Summer troupe gift exchange.
Tenma always gives signed autographs of his face and is like “hold onto that, it’ll be worth something in a few years”. Little does he know the reason why everyone is really happy to pull his name isn’t for the picture, but because he always puts $20 in the card.
Yuki always makes their gifts, that’s no surprise. It depends; sometimes it’s clothes for their plushies (like if it’s Kumon, it’ll be tiny versions of Juza’s play costumes for the Juza doll tm, or if it’s Muku it’ll be little shoujo manga cosplays for William). Other times its just custom outfits because who doesn’t love a good Yuki fit.
Misumi just gives triangles. Like, I don’t have to elaborate. If Misumi pulls your name out of the hat, you are getting a triangle. It’s that simple.
Muku will find the perfect manga to fit whatever your genre of choice is and... sobs. Like Yuki now has a collection of manga about fashion design and Misumi has a special place on his shelf for the only triangle-related manga Muku could find (it’s a geometry textbook).
Kazunari will get you the most thoughtful gift, that he found through a TikTok advertisement. Like the gift is catered to you, so Muku is getting a manga he found on booktok or Yuki is getting some hair curler he found that is very likely a part of a pyramid scheme. It is just all very... TikTok
Kumon gives homemade gifts that are just the most wholesome things in the world. Like yes, the bonsai he gave Tenma is half dead, but he still spent the past 4 months catering to it and he is so proud. And yes, Tenma does have a special space on his shelf for it.
I love friendship
-
ultrasuperbouquet liked this · 2 years ago
-
formalbom liked this · 2 years ago
-
lytrixuwu reblogged this · 2 years ago
-
lytrixuwu liked this · 2 years ago
-
gayforjuza reblogged this · 2 years ago
-
gayforjuza liked this · 2 years ago
-
39haru-bom liked this · 2 years ago
-
moonlightsrandomstuff liked this · 2 years ago
-
rollkpem liked this · 2 years ago
-
chillingintheafterlife liked this · 2 years ago
-
ashipiko reblogged this · 2 years ago
-
ashipiko liked this · 2 years ago
-
olyollyoxenfree liked this · 2 years ago
-
carrotenjoyer reblogged this · 2 years ago
-
artstronomical liked this · 2 years ago
-
droppyeyes liked this · 2 years ago
-
39oopsielil-y liked this · 2 years ago
-
gacha-gods-hate-me liked this · 2 years ago
-
bellan95 liked this · 2 years ago
-
lovesickviolet liked this · 2 years ago
-
semi-orangeapple liked this · 2 years ago
-
xo8ball reblogged this · 2 years ago
-
xo8ball liked this · 2 years ago
-
livelaughlettii liked this · 2 years ago
-
birdyies reblogged this · 2 years ago
-
birdyies liked this · 2 years ago
-
strawberrycremelatte liked this · 2 years ago
-
dave-the-timelord reblogged this · 2 years ago
-
taichissu reblogged this · 2 years ago
-
taichissu liked this · 2 years ago
-
rowdy-rowdy-boy reblogged this · 2 years ago
-
rowdy-rowdy-boy liked this · 2 years ago
-
thealiencactus liked this · 2 years ago
-
omi-my-beloved reblogged this · 2 years ago
-
a3-dumb-account reblogged this · 2 years ago
-
s-38-n liked this · 2 years ago
-
bambuwu-writes liked this · 2 years ago
-
akaikami-cherryblossom liked this · 2 years ago
-
ace-and-the-rpg-horrors liked this · 2 years ago
-
viqury liked this · 2 years ago
More Posts from Lemystical-puffle
Sakuya Sakuma | [SR] Festival of Blooming | Sakuya as Citron
![Sakuya Sakuma | [SR] Festival Of Blooming | Sakuya As Citron](https://64.media.tumblr.com/42d6767d926cdd650f399f7d56c08b13/ea68f229fb3f5cdf-aa/s500x750/87bbd05ac2d1661a26c56d9a112a2c02a4b05a32.jpg)
Sakuya: …
Tsuzuru: (Sakuya’s watching that TV show so intensely. Wonder what it’s about.)
Tsuzuru: …Eeh!?
Sakuya: Ah, Tsuzuru-kun. What wrong?
Tsuzuru: “What’s wrong” is what I should be asking you… I figured you were watching something serious with how intently you were staring at the TV, but you’re here watching manzai performances…
Sakuya: Oh! This is a special program I recorded the other day. Do you wanna watch it with me?
Tsuzuru: No, I’m good. But the bigger question is why are YOU watching it?
Sakuya: Actually, I’m using this to role study for when I act as Citron-san.
Sakuya: So… For my performance as Citron-san, I figured I’d try out some of the many things he likes to do. And manzai was one of those things.
Tsuzuru: Many things? You’re trying out more than one?
Sakuya: Yeah! I also learned how to do a strange dance from Hisoka-san that he and Citron-san do together, and I played mahjong with the mahjong club members…
Tsuzuru: You did all that too!? So diligent…
![Sakuya Sakuma | [SR] Festival Of Blooming | Sakuya As Citron](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3b3e61ddbd2abdce2f95d081c5f1c76a/ea68f229fb3f5cdf-16/s500x750/e7f6296ffa94f2b1afd01c772868eda105268ff9.png)
Tsuzuru: That said, that is the Sakuya thing to do.
Sakuya: But even with all that, there’s still a side of Citron-san that’s hard to grasp.
Tsuzuru: Like what?
Sakuya: It’s just Citron-san’s natural personality. That’s why it’s difficult to play him…
Tsuzuru: Ah… That’s true. Citron-san’s originally from a royal family, the way he grew up is completely different from the way we did.
Tsuzuru: Although, the whole purpose of this project is to just “strengthen our understandings of each other”, so you shouldn’t be too worried about it.
Sakuya: But… I still want to do this as best I can, and if I’m going to act as Citron-san, I can’t leave that part out…!
Tsuzuru: There’s that strange Sakuya-like stubbornness… Well, I guess that’s still a pretty important thing regardless.
Tsuzuru: Ah, I’ve got it. How about you ask someone who knows Citron-san well as part of a royal family?
Sakuya: Someone who knows him well…
Tsuzuru: C’mon, you know one person who was watching him the closest.
Sakuya: …! Right, I’ll go ask!
· • — ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Sakuya: …So, that’s why I want to know more about Citron-san when he was a prince in Zahra.
Guy: Understood, I’ll do my best to help.
Sakuya: Thank you so much!
Guy: If I remember correctly… Citronia used to study Japan a lot.
Guy: I believe he was always very lively when he was researching various things about Japanese culture in secret.
Guy: I used to often see him learning about other countries and wondering what they were like.
![Sakuya Sakuma | [SR] Festival Of Blooming | Sakuya As Citron](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5c9a5fa1d6b0948943c519ac468771f5/ea68f229fb3f5cdf-58/s500x750/4c43f862bf6125e7049ac6e4efb2dc358061b907.png)
Sakuya: I see…
Guy: Citronia was beloved by many of the citizens of Zahra.
Guy: But now… He is loved as “Citron of MANKAI Company”.
Sakuya: …!
Guy: I liked his demeanor as the would-be-king, but now Citronia is an actor. He can be anything he would like and go anywhere he would like.
Guy: I’ve watched Citronia as royalty for a long time, but I’m sure that you know the Citronia living as an actor better than anyone, Sakuma.
Sakuya: Citron-san as an actor…
Guy: You should not play him based on what you have heard from others, but from what you have seen of him yourself, Sakuma.
Sakuya: …Got it, I’ll do that! Thank you so much!
*Door closes*
Guy: This is what you would want, correct? …Citronia.
· • — ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ — • ·
Citron: The time has finally come…!
Citron: Hmmhnmh… How will Sakuya play me… I can’t wait to see the spectacle!
Sakuya: Now I’m a little nervous with your expectations being so high…!
Citron: Don’t worry. Relax, Sakuya! Just act the way you’d like to act, like you always do~.
Citron: I won’t get mad no matter what!
Sakuya: Citron-san…
Citron: …Probably.
![Sakuya Sakuma | [SR] Festival Of Blooming | Sakuya As Citron](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fed09108437f136edd2332656f75bd0f/ea68f229fb3f5cdf-fe/s500x750/f474a5fe33a8cc72bd698adf8e353cbb12fdb32e.png)
Sakuya: Eeh!?
Citron: Fufu, just kidding!
Sakuya: Y-You scared me…!
Citron: Now for you to put on my clothes. You can borrow these!
Sakuya: Thank you so much!
· • — ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Sakuya: They should be something like this…
Citron: Oh, they were too big for you, Sakuya? Even though you’re an adult, you look like a child!
Sakuya: Ahaha… I wish I were as tall as you, Citron-san.
![Sakuya Sakuma | [SR] Festival Of Blooming | Sakuya As Citron](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fd33697514f6eecdb4223f169e8cd4c8/ea68f229fb3f5cdf-a5/s500x750/82759d38fc9969bfefee0d1e9643e37c233d4095.png)
Citron: No, no, you are the best like this!
Sakuya: Wah! Ahaha, you’re squishing me when you hug me like that, Citron-san!
Citron: It’s like I gain a new little brother when you dress like that~.
Sakuya: Alright, I guess it’s time for me to start! And…
Sakuya: “How are you doing today, Madam!”
Sakuya: “Oh, may I have this many extra today? Thank you as always~!”
Citron: (This must be an exchange with the madams in the shopping district. Sakuya really does pay attention.)
![Sakuya Sakuma | [SR] Festival Of Blooming | Sakuya As Citron](https://64.media.tumblr.com/33c16c54451ec729ca0d79844a24f069/ea68f229fb3f5cdf-81/s500x750/14caa7f3804db3ae50c7d1e2f72541ddf7ba84c1.png)
Sakuya: “Are you lost? Follow me!”
Citron: (A scene of me helping a lost child… He’s playing all of my good moments.)
Sakuya: “Let me do a street act now. This is my partner, Tsuzuru! …It doesn’t matter if it’s manzai, as long as the audience has fun~!”
Citron: (Sakuya even did research on Citorun manzai acts… He must have studied a lot to play me.)
Sakuya: “...That is all! Yes, thank you very much~!”
Sakuya: And, scene!
Sakuya: U-Um… How was that?
Citron: …How do you think you did, Sakuya?
Sakuya: Well… I put a lot of thought into playing you, and…
Sakuya: The Citron-san I know is kind and never overlooks someone in need.
Sakuya: And he loves to make people laugh, in fact, he makes me laugh until my stomach hurts almost every time I talk to him.
Citron: Sakuya…
Sakuya: But at first, I had a hard time getting your royal-feel down.
Sakuya: But then Guy-san told me how you were adored by all the people of Zahra--.
Sakuya: So I realized the real Citron-san lies in your everyday behavior, not your royalty.
Citron: …You’re such a kind boy, Sakuya.
Sakuya: Eh?
Citron: Alright, finally we have to take the picture! Then it is mission complete!
Sakuya: Hey, Citron-san. Could I possibly borrow Citron Junior for this?
Citron: Yes, of horse! Here you go~.
Sakuya: Thank you so much!
Citron: Okay. 3, 2, 1… Say cheese!
![Sakuya Sakuma | [SR] Festival Of Blooming | Sakuya As Citron](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5be14b6626228721262e35ed8e53e691/ea68f229fb3f5cdf-c8/s500x750/de790928ed85cd96d3ccf3069a981a23eb64a935.jpg)
Citron: You have a wonderful smile.
Sakuya: Because I’m imitating you, Citron-san!
Citron: By the way, Sakuya. Why did you decide to take the picture with Citron Junior?
Sakuya: Umm, well… Because you have gone on many travels, and you and Citron Junior have gone to so many places together.
Sakuya: When I thought of that, it felt like it was something that the actor Citron-san would do, not the royal Citron-san… Maybe.
Citron: The actor me…
Sakuya: So since this Citron Junior goes to so many places, he’s like a symbol of how much free you are now…
Sakuya: So that’s why I wanted to take a picture with this little guy!
Citron: …!
Sakuya: So now you can go anywhere, Citron-san. Not just Zahra.
Sakuya: And I believe that you can bring smiles to people beyond MANKAI and to all over Japan… No, all over the world.
Sakuya: And through my acting, I was able to see just how much of a loving person the Citron-san I know is!
![Sakuya Sakuma | [SR] Festival Of Blooming | Sakuya As Citron](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6584dccbd2fc2ebdf5e680ed9afe161b/ea68f229fb3f5cdf-83/s500x750/086dc580fe98dbf1784b1c63ba5ddfc39199dbc1.png)
Citron: …
Sakuya: Wahwah! It kinda hurts when you hug me that tightly…!
Citron: …I’m glad. I really am glad.
Citron: I promise I will continue to make everyone smile like I always have.
Sakuya: Citron-san…
Citron: But you have to do it with me! Okay, Sakuya?
Sakuya: Yeah!
Mankai Therapy Company
tsumugi vc you guys need so much therapy on god
It started, like it always did, with extortion.
Or rather, it started at a company meeting.
“I,” Tsumugi announced, “have great news.”
“You’re getting married?” Citron all but yelled. Tsumugi choked.
“N-”
“I didn’t hear Tasuku say anything,” Itaru muttered without looking up from his handheld gaming device, still managing to be heard by everyone in the room.
“I’m not getting married!” He closed his eyes and inhaled slowly before opening them. “I - we-” he gestured towards the Director- “called everyone in here to tell you that I was able to contact one of my old colleague’s practices, and they said they’d be willing to do business with our company at a reduced price.”
“Practice?” Muku echoed in confusion.
“He’s telling us to see a shrink.” Yuki said flatly.
“Only if you feel comfortable doing so,” Tsumugi curled his fists to keep himself from wringing his hands together. It was best not to show nerves in these situations. “I acknowledge that it is a personal choice and I won’t force anyone into this. However, if you do decide to take this opportunity, it’s now arranged so that the company will pay for your sessions in full.”
“Am I dreaming?” Tsuzuru blinked. “Did you just say free health insurance?”
“Holy shit, are you crying?”
“No!” He rubbed his eyes quickly. Kazunari patted him on the arm.
“There, there, Tsuzuroon.”
Sakyo cleared his throat. “I have a question.”
“Yes?” Tsumugi did his best to make his expression open and nonjudgmental.
“Or a concern. Where in the company’s budget have these funds been allocated?”
Tsumugi’s smile was unchanging, not flickering or wavering in the slightest. “Sorry, let me rephrase that. Anyone who works for Mankai Company who wants to see a therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, or any mental health professional now can, free of charge, with any copayments covered in full. Is that understood?”
Izumi had to hand it to Tsumugi, the soft-spoken man could be downright scary when he wanted to be. Why was it always the nice ones?
“I’ll be reviewing this on next month’s budget.”
“Great!” Tsumugi hummed. “Does anyone else have a question?”
“Yeah,” Taichi raised his hand, “why are you telling us to go to therapy? Isn’t that for, like, divorced couples and depressed shut-ins and stuff? I mean, none of us qualify for that, right?”
Tsumugi’s eye twitched. He couldn’t help it.
“Hey, Tsumugi!”
Tsumugi looked up from the script he’d been reading on the sofa, politely greeting Taichi in return as the boy opened the fridge and grabbed a soda. He frowned slightly.
“Nanao, don’t you have school tomorrow?”
“Yep!” Taichi nodded as he popped the soda cap off and took a swig. “Uh, why? Is there something else happening tomorrow?”
“No, I just-” he looked pointedly towards the soda. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to drink so much caffeine before bed? Won’t you have trouble going to sleep?”
“Oh, this?” Taichi laughed and rubbed his neck. “It - okay, this might sound fake, but I swear soda and caffeine actually make me sleepier! Weird, right?”
“That’s certainly…interesting.”
“Azuma, my dear, my camellia that blossoms in the moonlight,” Homare paused. “Were you, perchance, the one that moved my tea bags?”
“Hm? No. Why, are you missing some?”
“No.” Homare closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them. “I…apologize for the accusation. Thank you.” He turned around to leave before-
“Aha!”
“Oh crap,” was all Tasuku could manage before Homare accosted him. “Tasuku, my Adonis, you wouldn’t happen to have moved my tea bags this morning, would you?”
“Uh, yeah?” He blinked. “They were in front of the cereal. I didn’t take any, though, if you’re missing some.”
“I’m not!” Homare reassured him. “I simply woke up to find the lavender and chai had switched places, and the lemon much farther to the left than it should be, which as you can imagine is quite a distressing predicament to find oneself in.”
“I…I really can’t imagine that, no.”
He hummed. “Well, if you do find yourself moving my teas again, please ascertain that they are relocated back to their original positions, would you?”
Tasuku didn’t have the energy to argue. “Okay, sure.”
Azuma chuckled. “Classic Homare.”
Tsumugi bit his lip.
“Ah, Tenma,” Tsumugi slid a sheet of paper across the table and tapped on it. “This kanji is backwards.”
“Huh?” Tenma snatched up the paper and stared at it, blinking hard. “Oh…oh, yeah, you’re right. Sorry.” He winced.
“It’s no problem,” Tsumugi smiled gently. “Let’s just correct it and move on, shall we?”
“Yeah,” Tenma’s ears were still flushed, “yeah, okay.”
“I’ve got it!” Tsuzuru slammed open the door forcefully and marched in like a knight on a mission. A pale, scrawny, sickly looking knight with unwashed hair and dark eyebags. “I’ve got the new script!” He grinned maniacally.
Itaru looked up. “Five.”
“That’s great, Tsuzuru!” Izumi smiled and took the packet, still warm from the printer. “I’ll read through this tonight and have my notes ready by tomorrow.”
“Are you okay?” Tsumugi asked.
“I’m fine. I’m great! I’m wonderful!” Tsuzuru said, a little forcefully.
Citron stood. “Four.”
“When was the last time you slept?”
“I can’t just sleep, Tsukioka, what if I forget a line or piece of dialogue?”
“Wouldn’t want that to happen,” Chikage muttered. “Three.”
“Still - sorry, what are you counting for?”
Sakuya just shrugged, half-smiling apologetically. “It’s just easier to coordinate this way. Two.”
“Coordinate what?”
Tsuzuru collapsed face first into Masumi’s arms. “...One.”
“Taichi’s right, I don’t think any of us need that therapy crap. ‘Cept for Hyodo, maybe someone’ll find out why he’s so chronically annoying.”
Juza elbowed Banri in the ribs. He retaliated by punching his shoulder.
“It’s a scam anyway.” Yuki spoke up before the fight could escalate further. “Therapy’s just a pseudoscience made to make normal people feel good about themselves by talking to a stranger. No offense.”
Tsumugi steepled his fingers. “None taken. On a related note, how many of you have actually been to therapy?”
Yuki looked away, muttering something about school counselors and zero tolerance policies. Nobody else seemed willing to speak up.
“I have!” Misumi raised his hand. Tsumugi blinked, trying not to look surprised.
“Really?”
“Mhmm! I think?” Misumi leaned back on the sofa. “I was really young.”
“What…how was it?”
“They gave me some toys to play with and asked Gramps a lot of questions,” he shrugged. “Don’t remember much else.”
“I…see.” Tsumugi said slowly. “That’s very…enlightening. Thank you.” He coughed. “Still, I have a stack of business cards here, so I would like all of you to take one.”
Banri glared at his card like its existence offended him. Kazunari flipped his over and shoved it into his pocket when he was sure nobody was looking. Misumi also put his in his pocket, but only after forcing the edges down to make a triangle fold.
Tsumugi prayed that he made the right decision to be so upfront about this. Then again, it wasn’t like anyone else was going to make the first move.
He had almost forgotten about it, a month later, when Banri stormed into his room and practically threw the business card at him. “Rurikawa was right, therapy’s a total scam. I want a refund and I didn’t even pay anything.”
Secretly Tsumugi was pleased that Banri had relented into going for a few sessions, but he forced those feelings down. “It’s normal to feel upset after a session. But if you feel like you’re being treated unfairly, you can always ask for another therapist.”
“Yeah, I’m being ‘treated unfairly’.” Banri rolled his eyes and sat down on the floor, right in front of him. “You still have your license, right? Why can’t you be our therapist?”
“That’d be an extreme conflict of interest and highly illegal.”
“Didn’t know we cared about the law,” Banri muttered under his breath.
“If you want to talk, though, I always can as a friend.”
“Right, so,” he waved his hand flippantly. “I was just telling this chick about Hyodo eating my pudding with my name on it, and in the middle she looks me right in the eyes and says Oh, wow, you must really like this Hyodo person to talk about them so much!”
“Oh. Wow.”
“As if! I was just telling you how much he pissed me off, seriously, how dense do you have to be to NOT understand that?”
Tsumugi bit back several comments. “I can’t imagine.”
“Ugh. Anyways. This sucks.”
“Sometimes it does,” he said sympathetically.
“Tsumugi!”
He barely had time to blink before Homare’s fingers had interlaced with his, a quick kiss pressed to his temple. “Hello, Angel!”
“Hello, Homare,” he smiled, more than used to these random bouts of affection. “How are you?”
Homare glanced down the hallway quickly before leaning in close to his ear. “Actually, I do have a topic I wanted to discuss with you. Your knowledge on the subject would provide valuable insight on the matter.”
Tsumugi felt the back of his neck prickle. “What is it?”
“Do you think I’m on the spectrum?”
“There’s...a lot of spectrums, Homare.”
He tsked. “True. I- I initially assumed my therapist said I might be on the artistic spectrum, and I told them that I was a renowned poet on the literary arts spectrum, but-” he sighed dramatically, “they simply laughed and gave me a pamphlet to ‘read over’.”
“I see,” Tsumugi squeezed his hand. “And you read it?”
“I…I did, yes.”
Thank god, FINALLY, Tsumugi wanted to say. Instead, he very tactfully asked, “What did you think?”
“I am,” Homare frowned slightly. “Not sure. I’m afraid I must deliberate on the matter further before drawing forth any hasty conclusions.”
“Well,” Tsumugi kissed his cheek. “There’s no rush.”
Hisoka looked left, then right, then cautiously reached for the doorknob before-
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Chikage snapped, crossing his arms.
“There’s a pop-up sweets shop in the next town,” he yawned plainly. “I want to see it.”
Chikage narrowed his eyes. “I thought you were expressly forbidden from driving.”
“It’s only a few minutes,” he shrugged.
Chikage’s lip curled. “Are those Tasuku’s keys?”
“He’s out jogging.” Hisoka answered. It was getting harder and harder to stay-
He felt somebody shaking him. “I hope you were planning on asking your boyfriend to drive you.”
“I can drive myself,” Hisoka felt a twinge of annoyance. “It’s fine.”
“Right,” Chikage closed his eyes. “Get in Chigasaki’s car before you do anything stupid.” He shook his head and muttered, “Of all the reckless…I can’t believe you fell asleep in the MRI machine-”
Tsumugi watched the door slam shut on Hisoka’s smirking face.
ok so hopefully quick saeru thread on why trying to empathize with him actually undermines his role as a character (im making this because im very passionate abt kagepro's overall narrative and it's themes, and saeru is a core part of that as the villain) this was originally on twitter and is very long so im putting it under the read more lol
to start off, all of azami's snakes were created from some sort of trauma or surivial instinct. despite his sentience saeru is STILL one of those snakes. his feelings are technically fabricated from azami's desire to find herself and later on her fear of change. the reason i believe he is sentient is the fact he was born from such a complicated wish, so he was created with the necessary complicity in order to carry out said wish for azami. and factors like other people, weren't taken into account for his creation. so the sentience wasn't an issue for the hundreds of years azami would be alone. it only became an issue when she met tsukihiko and started a family. this was an unexpected turnout on saeru's part, because the world azami created was one created from isolation and despair. saeru doesn't have the capacity to understand love or kindness because he wasn't born from it. (this is why the idea of him caring for kenjirou doesnt make sense either but thts a whole other can of worms). what he has for azami isnt love, it's devotion. such severe devotion that he is willing to do things that only hurt her just because it's what he believes is right for her. he has to keep living bc she needs him to survive. so now that we've kind of established saeru's character we can move on to his role in the narrative... kagepro obviously revolves around the idea of repeating time, or timeloops. from a simple story perspective it's because of saeru, he pushes marry to the brink of despair, causing her to rewind time in order to be with her friends again. going a bit deeper in manga route 2, we find out his real motivation is to keep living in order to grant azami's wish to find her true self. so lets go back to the idea saeru is only created from azami's loneliness, or her crushing isolation of simply existing, and combine it with the idea that SAERU is the one causing the world to repeat. that saeru hates the idea that azami could find happiness in others. that saeru believes azami cannot be happy in a world created in her image. that saeru causes so much suffering he recreates a medusa in marry, and he feasts off of that despair. what does this mean? thematically saeru is supposed to represent the idea of resisting change, resisting it through constantly forcing oneself to relive traumatizing and hurtful moments in life out of a belief that this is what it always should be. from the comfort in despair. so lets take that and apply it to a different character, the protagonist, shintaro. specially route x shintaro. in route x shintaro refuses to forget ayano, replaying moments in his head over and over and over where he shouldve reached out, shouldve done better. he ignores ene, someone who cares for him and wants to help him, because he believes that by completely indulging himself in his despair and regret over ayano, she will continue to live on in his mind. so, what is that similar to? it almost directly parallels to saeru's idea of causing despair in order to feed off of it to survive. but, there is something that separates saeru from route x shintaro. the fact that shintaro can understand love. when he deletes ene, he almost immediately regrets it. and is horrified by what he's done. he's so horrified that he literally ends his own life, essentially ending ayano's memory. this is the exact opposite of what saeru wants. saeru is desperate to keep living. to keep the despair, bc it's all he is. without it he's nothing. without it, azami is nothing. if saeru was meant to be empathized with, then it would encourage literally every bad thing to happen in kagepro's story. bc he is a representation of that, and can almost parallel to every character with it. kano's painful emotional stagnation, the unhealthy devotion seto has to marry resulting in neglect of his loved ones, kido's belief that she was born
essentially broken, etc. all of these r themes that show in saeru's character. the character that brutally kills the mekakushi dan over and over, seeing their lives as little more then warped reflections of his master. he views it as a game, he finds joy in tragedy. he mocks marry for finding love just like azami had, he mocks her for trying to change the repeating story he had written. he's a hypocrite, because just as marry tries to gain autonomy so is he. so basically, he is portrayed as pure evil because he is the resistance to finding happiness through others despite pain and trauma, and the entire point of kagepro is learning to love the world despite all of the horrible things in it because at least one person can still love another. that the time spent with others can be some of the most precious things in a lifetime, that even when those times pass, those feelings never leave. saeru is a subversion of this, basically screaming in the readers face that "good feelings are temporary and bad ones last forever". he is a direct antithesis to the narrative marry attempts to create as the new medusa, not a a story created from the despair of loneliness, but one from love and care. if saeru was ever meant to be empathized with, then it undermines the themes of summer time record completely. saeru is supposed to be a complete monster, and interpreting otherwise warps the themes jin is trying to portray in the first place.

Time to post self-indulgent fuyupoly doodles!! 💕
Spring: All Of Us Would Die For Sakuya
Summer: *thinking in unison* I'm the only trans person in a room full of cis people
Autumn: Taichi Protection Squad
Winter: It's not gay if it's method acting