Levifarismymothership - Levifar And Basically All Other Yin/Yang Ships

I love the grumpy shortcake to death but I actually HC that Levi is the worst kisser at the beginning of a relationship.

no because you’re completely right. at the beginning of the relationship honestly expect levi to be bad (but just too pathetically cute) at just about everything. he’s got the passion. he’s got the looks that he doesn’t think he has. but he’s just a BABY

literally flash him a cute little smile - especially when you’re alone - and he blushes.

levi taking holding hands way too seriously. finds himself practicing WITH HIS OWN HANDS how to correctly link your fingers (how much bigger or smaller is your hand than his? (he asks himself)) or stroke your thumb in just the right way. he hates himself for it but he just really doesn’t want to mess up with you. he thinks he needs to be good at something to be good enough and it kills you.

then the time comes and his hands get clammy from nerves. “disgusting” he says. poor levi

the first time you do kiss, he definitely asks to do it because of consent (he is traumatized). he asks to do anything the first time. “can i put my hand here?” and it’s not even your THIGH it’s your KNEE😭 he’s precious.

he would keep his eyes open like a freak at first, with your lips just barely making feather-light contact, because he wants to see. he wants to admire. levi is a careful person, an intense person, and a doting one. he cherishes your first kiss like it’s your last.

one could say it’s amateur to move his lips less and just press against yours, but he wants to savor the feeling, too. your softness, the indents from whether you have the tendency to bite your lip when you’re nervous, the shape of them. which side of your lips curl up first when you smile into it. brushing his thumb over the indent of your dimple (if you have any).

so that’s to say he’s barely kissing at all and feeling it out more than anything. he’s very bad at it. no subtext there at all /s.

it’s easy to mistake levi being flustered for levi being annoyed. he just gets crabby because he registers it as showing weakness. but you know how he feels.

puts off sleeping in the same bed for like. months. not out of lack of desire but he’s pretty much convinced he’ll be bad at it. he’s NERVOUS. what if nightmares? what if it’s hot, but you’re cuddling him and he doesn’t want to move away?

levi would watch you in your sleep. not in a perverted way. but, like that he’s free from the possibility of being embarrassed, caught admiring the details of your face that others would not think twice about. levi feels in poetry but speaks in crass one-liners and retorts. it’s true.

in reality, sleeping next to levi means being clung to by him at any given moment. except when you’re awake, because if he senses so much as a shift in your breathing, he’s awake first. however if you tend to cling too, then everyone is happy.

he sleeps restlessly, though. levi has never known a moment of peace in his life, sleep included. he’s eerily silent. like. corpse silent, but he squirms and wriggles a lot.

i’m sorry i couldn’t have gotten more off topic. YES YOU’RE RIGHT

Do you think that while in a new-ish relationship with Levi, that he would get insecure and would pull away emotionally because of his abandonment issues? Kinda like self-sabotage to protect himself from future hurts like when Kenny left him?

Any headcanons are much appreciated!

//gn!reader

absolutely yes. though not just because of his abandonment issues.

in general, Levi isn’t a trusting person - his first instinct is really to assume the worst out of people - and that ironically goes double for someone he wants to trust.

you’d have to have known each other a long time for him to be willing to take that step and be in a relationship in the first place, but being in it in the beginning is different.

trusting someone with his heart and revealing his feelings are so exposing. it feels dangerous to someone who's had it hammered into him never to be seen as weak.

combined with him not being super capable of understanding his own feelings, and his inexperience early on in a relationship, he would find himself disarmed and confused a lot of the time.

it's not easy :(

so he would hold a new partner at arm’s length. he still doesn’t, and may never, understand what you see in him.

what he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt is that he wants to be by your side, but in fear of being reliant on someone else in any way, he can appear intentionally aloof and distant for a while. he's busy figuring out that you wouldn’t be smiling so warmly at him just to lull him into a false sense of security, that you don’t feel too intimidated to do otherwise, or really anything that would prove he’s as worthless at all this that he thinks he is.

and yes, self-sabotage. he can think that you haven’t seen him for who he truly is somehow, and once you do, you’ll leave; that he tricked you unintentionally and that’s the only reason why you want to be with him; maybe your motives are something as clinical as curiosity, or to find out his weaknesses to use against him.

those ideas are safe and make sense to him, because Levi has learned to expect to be hurt or abandoned in his life, and it affirms in his mind that he's not wanted by anyone for who he is. even though he wants badly to accept that maybe he does have someone now who really maybe likes and cares about him, that feels too good to be true to him.

so all that to say… the start of a relationship with Levi wouldn’t be hugely different than when you were friends. he seeks you out a little more, and does plenty of things for you (including+especially make you tea, acts of service love language hello). he's a lot more observant.

Levi would trust your words and reassurances, but he would find much more value in your behavior in return. when you seek him out, or remember small things in efforts to make him happy, or not being too forward with things he’s sure not to understand, like most forms of physical affection. in his mind, holding hands even somewhere private is really anxiety-inducing :(

his behavior when he is upset is hugely unhelpful too. assuming he has next to no romantic experiences and erroneous ideas of how one's “supposed” to work, his first instinct when he’s hurt is to shut down, brush it off, and avoid. not so much because he assumes you meant to say or do something that hurt him, but because it's pathetic and he associates emotional pain with abandonment. right away he invalidates himself.

so Levi has to be shown what a romantic relationship really entails. things that are obvious or come easily to others just wouldn’t to him. like reminding him that you can't read minds when you genuinely don’t know why he’s upset. anddd communicating, which takes him being the slightest bit vulnerable, which is hard for him too.

so at first, being in a relationship with Levi would be super difficult for sure with all his fears and misunderstandings :/ but he's loyal and passionate and always puts you first, too. it's like once you've earned his trust, there is absolutely nothing and no one above you to him.

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I will never not ride for this man <3 😌

new pfp :3

I bet little Levi used to play with Mama Kuchel's hair all the time

Levi is an observant lover.

He’ll study you. All of you, every aspect of you. The words that make you frown in offense. The ones that instantly draw a smile to your lips. The way you like your tea; the times you’d take a coffee instead. The ingredients you push to the side of your plate during lunch. The temperature of your water in the shower. The snacks you crave after midnight. The silly little things that lift your spirits, and the trivial ones that put you down. When you’re in the mood to be in his company, and when you want to be given space. When his dry remarks are welcome, and when you prefer his silent presence. The places where you like to be touched, and the ones that make you slightly pull back. The way you kiss when you’re in the mood for love, and the way you do when you’re tired and want to call it a night instead.

Nothing slips him. He absorbs it all. And then does it all the way you like.

He may not be vocal about his feelings, but every move of his is attentive and drowns you in affection. And that’s all one could ask for in a lover. Because being understood without having to speak, listened to without ever being made to feel like a burden, and unconditionally taken care of and into consideration, is true love.