Do You Think That While In A New-ish Relationship With Levi, That He Would Get Insecure And Would Pull

Do you think that while in a new-ish relationship with Levi, that he would get insecure and would pull away emotionally because of his abandonment issues? Kinda like self-sabotage to protect himself from future hurts like when Kenny left him?

Any headcanons are much appreciated!

//gn!reader

absolutely yes. though not just because of his abandonment issues.

in general, Levi isn’t a trusting person - his first instinct is really to assume the worst out of people - and that ironically goes double for someone he wants to trust.

you’d have to have known each other a long time for him to be willing to take that step and be in a relationship in the first place, but being in it in the beginning is different.

trusting someone with his heart and revealing his feelings are so exposing. it feels dangerous to someone who's had it hammered into him never to be seen as weak.

combined with him not being super capable of understanding his own feelings, and his inexperience early on in a relationship, he would find himself disarmed and confused a lot of the time.

it's not easy :(

so he would hold a new partner at arm’s length. he still doesn’t, and may never, understand what you see in him.

what he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt is that he wants to be by your side, but in fear of being reliant on someone else in any way, he can appear intentionally aloof and distant for a while. he's busy figuring out that you wouldn’t be smiling so warmly at him just to lull him into a false sense of security, that you don’t feel too intimidated to do otherwise, or really anything that would prove he’s as worthless at all this that he thinks he is.

and yes, self-sabotage. he can think that you haven’t seen him for who he truly is somehow, and once you do, you’ll leave; that he tricked you unintentionally and that’s the only reason why you want to be with him; maybe your motives are something as clinical as curiosity, or to find out his weaknesses to use against him.

those ideas are safe and make sense to him, because Levi has learned to expect to be hurt or abandoned in his life, and it affirms in his mind that he's not wanted by anyone for who he is. even though he wants badly to accept that maybe he does have someone now who really maybe likes and cares about him, that feels too good to be true to him.

so all that to say… the start of a relationship with Levi wouldn’t be hugely different than when you were friends. he seeks you out a little more, and does plenty of things for you (including+especially make you tea, acts of service love language hello). he's a lot more observant.

Levi would trust your words and reassurances, but he would find much more value in your behavior in return. when you seek him out, or remember small things in efforts to make him happy, or not being too forward with things he’s sure not to understand, like most forms of physical affection. in his mind, holding hands even somewhere private is really anxiety-inducing :(

his behavior when he is upset is hugely unhelpful too. assuming he has next to no romantic experiences and erroneous ideas of how one's “supposed” to work, his first instinct when he’s hurt is to shut down, brush it off, and avoid. not so much because he assumes you meant to say or do something that hurt him, but because it's pathetic and he associates emotional pain with abandonment. right away he invalidates himself.

so Levi has to be shown what a romantic relationship really entails. things that are obvious or come easily to others just wouldn’t to him. like reminding him that you can't read minds when you genuinely don’t know why he’s upset. anddd communicating, which takes him being the slightest bit vulnerable, which is hard for him too.

so at first, being in a relationship with Levi would be super difficult for sure with all his fears and misunderstandings :/ but he's loyal and passionate and always puts you first, too. it's like once you've earned his trust, there is absolutely nothing and no one above you to him.

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I will never not ride for this man <3 😌

new pfp :3

Levi is an observant lover.

He’ll study you. All of you, every aspect of you. The words that make you frown in offense. The ones that instantly draw a smile to your lips. The way you like your tea; the times you’d take a coffee instead. The ingredients you push to the side of your plate during lunch. The temperature of your water in the shower. The snacks you crave after midnight. The silly little things that lift your spirits, and the trivial ones that put you down. When you’re in the mood to be in his company, and when you want to be given space. When his dry remarks are welcome, and when you prefer his silent presence. The places where you like to be touched, and the ones that make you slightly pull back. The way you kiss when you’re in the mood for love, and the way you do when you’re tired and want to call it a night instead.

Nothing slips him. He absorbs it all. And then does it all the way you like.

He may not be vocal about his feelings, but every move of his is attentive and drowns you in affection. And that’s all one could ask for in a lover. Because being understood without having to speak, listened to without ever being made to feel like a burden, and unconditionally taken care of and into consideration, is true love.

☰ LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU SO MUCH. –.ೃ࿐ 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧.

when levi loves, he loves intensely, passionately, wholeheartedly.

his love for people in general may seem very subtle, but underlying his cold exterior, he has a heart as big as the universe – it must've been because of his soft spot for his mother and the love that she always showed for him had stuck as he grew up.

when he surrendered his heart to you, though hesitant at first, he trusted you more than anyone to have the privilege of intertwining your soul with his. levi is a soft, but rough lover. while he's more of an acts of service man, there are other components in your relationship he lacks in but it doesn't mean he won't try for you.

he never raises his voice at you, he doesn't have the heart to at all. whenever he's on a mission, he'll write a letter every night without fail – always signing off with 'yours forever'. he does his best to verbally reaffirm you too, even if it's not his forte. he definitely gets better over time.

"sleep well, my love?"

"don't strain yourself too much, let me help you with that."

"you're so beautiful. i like that dress on you, wear it for me again hm?"

it's hard for him to be physically intimate at first and you fondly remember the times when you needed to initiate any form of contact with him whether that was holding his hand when he did paperwork, resting your hands on his shoulders after a long day at work, threading your hands through his hair during the late hours of the night – he honestly craved it so much. but, he couldn't be selfish. as generous as you were to him, he was just the same.

while he didn't have much growing up and didn't have much to offer for you, he would do anything to give you the world with his bare hands, rip the stars from the sky, pull oceans apart for you to roam the earth with your existence. he loves you like no other.

and it doesn't just stop there, he will make it very clear just how much he loves you.

☆ — 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @luvjiro , @youre-ackermine , @lovolee3 , @notgoodforlife , @averysmolbear , @bejewelledd , @leviismybby , @evas-leslas , @roseofdarknessblog @cometlevi , @21aurora (! ! 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐱 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝💌)

Farlan: how was your relationship with Kenny?

Levi: oh, it was a little hit and miss

Farlan: sometimes it was good and sometimes it was bad?

Levi: Sometimes Kenny hit me and sometimes he missed

Hope and Gabriel: now, what do we say to Orlando when there is a 1.99995% chance that he will get in the way of saving Bellamy but we have been friends him for 5 years and promised he and his people would get to live?

Echo: yeet

Hope and Gabriel: no!